Woman Maliciously Complies By Ruining Her Father-In-Law’s Shirt After He Asks Her To Iron It Right Before Her Engagement Party
Let’s start by stating the obvious – acts of sexism are absolutely unacceptable, whether done intentionally or out of ignorance. They are not merely condescending, but hurtful and can do real damage to a person. That is why it is important to learn about proper interpersonal conduct, whether at an early age, or later on, so that a person would consciously avoid something as inappropriate as sexism.
However, some people never seem to learn, which is why those on the receiving end of a questionable action sometimes think of clever ways to clap back at them. In the case of Reddit user u/Stitchywitchlich, that was exactly the case. She was a target of an act of sexism, and came up with a great way to teach her offensive father-in-law a great lesson in mindfulness. The Reddit thread u/Stitchywitchlich started gathered 45.9k upvotes and prompted 2.7k comments. Scroll down for the whole story and consider leaving a comment!
More info: Reddit
Some men believe that certain chores are exclusively a woman’s job, but this Reddit user couldn’t take it
Image credits: noricum
It is quite ridiculous to think that some people believe in job segregation based entirely on one’s gender. Cooking, cleaning and ironing are somehow a “woman’s job” in some people’s minds. That is inherently sexist, which is why this woman decided to teach a bigot a lesson with a small, yet meaningful act. After all, it is no person’s business to say what one should do or not do just because they’re of different gender. A great rule of thumb for such people would be to start with themselves.
The story starts out with preparations for the Original Poster’s engagement party, which is to have an unpleasant guest
Image credits: Stitchywitchlich
The Original Poster was in a rush, trying to prepare for her own engagement party when her father-in-law walked in and demanded his t-shirt ironed. First of all, a t-shirt for an event that important doesn’t seem right. Secondly, this man’s behavior is undoubtedly rude and sexist, which is no wonder why the woman decided to teach him a small lesson that he most definitely deserves. Turns out that ironing vinyl at the maximum heat setting is enough to ruin a shirt. Scorch marks appeared and the logo disappeared. This is arguably one of the best examples of malicious compliance.
The woman decided that the best medicine would be malicious compliance, that is, ruining the shirt
Image credits: Stitchywitchlich
The Original Poster gives some background about her father-in-law, who is apparently a rude person and a bigot. It could even be said that he had a lesson coming, and it is great it came from this specific person, considering they would become family by law. In any case, as the Original Poster says, politely declining in such a scenario is not the best course of action and it is not her job to lecture him on decency, which is why this simple act was a good blow to the father-in-law’s bigotry.
The comments were completely supportive of the Original Poster, praised her, and shared their own experiences
All in all, it is great to see people stand up for themselves in situations where their value as people is undermined, even if the measures to do so are somewhat unconventional. Sexism, among other things, is very much unacceptable, which is why even said unconventional measures are valuable, as long as they teach a lesson.
I'm confused why the FIL was even allowed to be there to begin with since he's that horrible.
Absolutely. Who lets a douche like that stay in their house, for any reason.
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I normally advocate saying "No", but given that particular man's history, burning his shirt sounds fair.
Yeah, if he's that toxic that this is the perfect opportunity and I applaud her move. I was ready with a statement along the lines of "I hope you mow the lawn and change your own oil" to highlight how gender roles aren't necessarily misogynistic but sounds like this guy got what he deserved.
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My mum used to iron dads shirts when they were first married. My idiot father once complained that she didn’t do the best job, so mum never ironed anything for him ever again. I’m not one for ironing either - my husband will do his own when needed, I’ll iron us something really needs it, but otherwise 10 mins in the dryer will be just as good
I think I subconsciously chose not to learn how to iron because of its sexist undertones. Also, hanging things in the bathroom and turning the shower on hot for a few minutes works just fine, damn it.
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i dont want to call BS on this story but why was the FIL even at their house or allowed to attend the engaement party to begin with? especially if he caused his wife to run away to a womens refuge with their children, that not the type of person i would ever want to have in my life
Yeah I've just commented this. Too vague with details and see.s like story for the attention
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My dad would paint my nails when I was a kid. He was way more detail oriented than my mother.
I've never had close men in my life be excessively sexist except for my dad but he learned better as he got older. I've had bosses and coworkers and classmates and one boyfriend that was though. I used to act like I didn't hear them when I was younger now I let them know I hear them and depending on my mood I act accordingly.
I only iron school uniforms. My parents were complaining about it to me a couple of times about my kids regular clothes. Their clothes are fine. It's not like they're a mess or all crumpled. I hate ironing and I don't see the point with kids clothes in particular because they're in the wash constantly, they go through loads.
Yeah. I only iron clothes to go to very important events, like a wedding. I refuse to iron in any other ocasion.
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When we were young my dad gave my mother an iron for her birthday. I was maybe six years old and I felt so bad for her.
If she specifically asked for an iron, then cool. If he was deluded enough to think giving his WIFE an IRON for her BIRTHDAY was a brilliant idea and she would just love it, I can only hope she used to to crack his skull open.
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Ain't nobody else going anywhere near my clothes with an iron unless they 're a fellow vet who knows how to use a pressing cloth properly. My mum taught me to iron when I was about 10.. (along with a lot of other useful stuff like sewing)...... but she gave me the basics, it was the military that instilled the standards. I wouldn't let her near my clothes with an iron now.... i'm not precious about having all my clothes ironed, but i am precious about how the ones I choose to be ironed are ironed.
I especially love her last comment. No, it's not our job to 'teach sexists' if they're over the age of 25. No, it's not our job to 'be understanding' or 'give them a chance'. A hot oven plate doesn't give you a chance either, it burns you, and you learn. If anyone wants to be a sexist in this time and age, they deserve every response they get. Stop making their nastiness our problem.
Good for her. Ever since I was little I always questioned why my dad would tell us that it was a girl's job to do chores around the house. it seemed unfair to me that just because I was a girl I was expected to do all these things for men. Those were always our arguments over and over. I just never understood it and therefore I always hated cleaning. Things would've been very different had my parents told me "you have to learn how to do chores because you have to learn how to take care of yourself once you move out.
It only as long as they said to BOTH their daughters AND their sons.
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Who are these people? My mum taught me to iron as a kid (although she may have regretted it after I put the iron on the sofa when I was ironing my cub scouts scarf).
The only thing I can add to this is that it isn't only men who exhibit these sort of expectations. I have quite often been faced with doing one thing or another because "it's a man's job" by a woman who has always considered herself an "independent woman."
My friend was once asked by his sister if he could tell some people off for being sexist because people would listen to him. Broke my heart.
I used to do all the ironing. Husband watched some YouTube videos to learn how. Wanted me to do it the "right" way. Welp, he quickly learned that I hold fast to my rule: who does the work decides the details. He accepted that, took over basically all the ironing—to the point that all the children went to him when they needed/wanted something ironed (and I've always been the hugely primary caregiver, so that's saying a lot).
Fascinating/.......there was an era that it was common for men to know how to mend, iron, etc. For a period it became "women's work"......also in my household, myself (cis hetero female) i tend to grill, do random fix-it stuff around the house. my BF tends to do dishes, vacuum, etc.
My husband does his own washing and ironing. I refuse to be a maid in my own home.
when my mom broke her leg I taught my dad how to use the washer and dryer. He called me a couple of times afterwards for more instructions (we lived on different coasts). But he always did his own laundry after that - it was a source of pride for him, I think.
What's an iron? Lol. I actually never owned one when I was married and now only have a travel one that hardly ever gets used. If I need to unwrinkle something I just use the dryer again.
Then is providing women with alimony and dividing the husband's property too is sexism?
Then is providing women with ailmoney and dividing the husband's property too is sexism?
I am soooo OCD on how I want my shirts laundered. I am 6 5 with a sleeve length of 39. Typical size sold in retail max out at a 27. Finding shirts that fit is a very expensive endeavor. 37 years ago I gave my bf (current husband) a 3 ring binder with explicit instructions on how my shirts are to be laundered. If you don't do it my way, keep your paws off. He said ok and thanks. 37 years later, I am still doing the laundry. Just last week, he did a load of laundry, changing all the settings on the machines. I told him-touch my babies again and I will stop doing laundry. He looked at me all wide eyed and shocked. He said ok. The same reason why I do the laundry is the same reason why I am not allowed to dust
Who still irons? If you fold or hang your things straight out of the laundry you don't have to iron. I don't even know if the iron I bought 20 years ago still works or not.
Well, that shirt sounds horrible (a vinyl print shirt? was it a t-shirt? with a big logo print or something, for a party? yikes) and deserved to be ruined on its' own merits. Sounds like she did the world a favor. Good for her.
I know how to iron but had more than enough ironing my uniform for military cadets as a teen. Now i just buy stuff that doesnt need to be ironed
I turned up for a first date with a creased dress and my date ironed it for me.
It's funny how ironing is 'women's work' but the guys they would consider really manly, military men, are made to learn those skills.
Kudos. Men pull this move ALL the time. My grandad taught me when I was 8yrs old "grandma asked me to do the dishes, the secret is to do them so badly she will never ask me to do them again". Right enough, he did such a piss-poor job that he wasn't allowed to wash dishes again. He did that with every household chore to get out of doing it and my grandma just accepted it.
The problem isn’t that fil wanted her to iron his shirt, the problem is she allowed her MIL’s abuser to stay at her house.
Some people do things like being sexist or other faux pas because they don't realize they are doing so. Not every action from somebody is done with the intent to insult or marginalize somebody. My mom always taught us that two wrongs don't make a right .Why can't we politely explain things to people rather than ruining their shirt ? You can't control the actions or thoughts of others , but you can control your own. This youngest generation of adults with the mindset that it's ok to be an a-hole because someone else is an a-hole just means everyone would be a-holes. A lot of people act with little thought, it's more just going along with whatever they've always gone along with. Some people just need it pointed out to them to get them to see their behavior and it's possible implications . Some people are just jerks and it doesn't matter what you say. Make sure you're not an a-hole , it doesn't help anyone
Sorry somethings off here. If he was that horrific why were you comfortable with him staying with you? Why would your fiancé allow this? You never said if his attitude was rude, about, polite etc.. also he might have asked you (if being a normal dude) asked you as he isn't good or felt unable to and you happen to be the first person he says. I'm sorry but it's not really clearly on this as his history was mentioned last and briefly. There's a trend of stories for stories sake alot on reddit, BP and such its feeling the same vibe here. Just me?
Why have him stay at your house? Why even take on the task to begin with if you're in a rush? He didn't have a total meltdown? How did he react? How did you all make alternative clothing arrangements in such little time? I would have just said no. I had a FIL who was raised in a sexist family and it showed. But it was a weird sort of sexism. You couldn't speak when the men were talking, and if you started saying something one of the men would interrupt, each and every time. Women were expected to pull their weight with working, but expected to do most of the house chores, all the child caring, with a little bit of help from a man if absolutely needed. That includes outside house work. Wouldn't matter who owns the car, if a man was in the car the man was expected to be driving at all times. Apparently they believe women cause more accidents than men ( couldn't be further from the truth).
Absolutely wild that you managed to turn her into the villain. Are you the father-in-law?
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Her fiancé was the one that put her in harms way by inviting his horribly abusive father into their home she did her best so he didn't lash out and possibly hit her. Two men in that house that did not care about her well being and you somehow twist it into making it her fault. You're a real winner. You're the reason women stay quiet about abuse but I'm sure that's what you prefer according to every single one of your hateful comments about women.
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I'm confused why the FIL was even allowed to be there to begin with since he's that horrible.
Absolutely. Who lets a douche like that stay in their house, for any reason.
Load More Replies... I normally advocate saying "No", but given that particular man's history, burning his shirt sounds fair.
Yeah, if he's that toxic that this is the perfect opportunity and I applaud her move. I was ready with a statement along the lines of "I hope you mow the lawn and change your own oil" to highlight how gender roles aren't necessarily misogynistic but sounds like this guy got what he deserved.
Load More Replies... My mum used to iron dads shirts when they were first married. My idiot father once complained that she didn’t do the best job, so mum never ironed anything for him ever again. I’m not one for ironing either - my husband will do his own when needed, I’ll iron us something really needs it, but otherwise 10 mins in the dryer will be just as good
I think I subconsciously chose not to learn how to iron because of its sexist undertones. Also, hanging things in the bathroom and turning the shower on hot for a few minutes works just fine, damn it.
Load More Replies... i dont want to call BS on this story but why was the FIL even at their house or allowed to attend the engaement party to begin with? especially if he caused his wife to run away to a womens refuge with their children, that not the type of person i would ever want to have in my life
Yeah I've just commented this. Too vague with details and see.s like story for the attention
Load More Replies... My dad would paint my nails when I was a kid. He was way more detail oriented than my mother.
I've never had close men in my life be excessively sexist except for my dad but he learned better as he got older. I've had bosses and coworkers and classmates and one boyfriend that was though. I used to act like I didn't hear them when I was younger now I let them know I hear them and depending on my mood I act accordingly.
I only iron school uniforms. My parents were complaining about it to me a couple of times about my kids regular clothes. Their clothes are fine. It's not like they're a mess or all crumpled. I hate ironing and I don't see the point with kids clothes in particular because they're in the wash constantly, they go through loads.
Yeah. I only iron clothes to go to very important events, like a wedding. I refuse to iron in any other ocasion.
Load More Replies... When we were young my dad gave my mother an iron for her birthday. I was maybe six years old and I felt so bad for her.
If she specifically asked for an iron, then cool. If he was deluded enough to think giving his WIFE an IRON for her BIRTHDAY was a brilliant idea and she would just love it, I can only hope she used to to crack his skull open.
Load More Replies... Ain't nobody else going anywhere near my clothes with an iron unless they 're a fellow vet who knows how to use a pressing cloth properly. My mum taught me to iron when I was about 10.. (along with a lot of other useful stuff like sewing)...... but she gave me the basics, it was the military that instilled the standards. I wouldn't let her near my clothes with an iron now.... i'm not precious about having all my clothes ironed, but i am precious about how the ones I choose to be ironed are ironed.
I especially love her last comment. No, it's not our job to 'teach sexists' if they're over the age of 25. No, it's not our job to 'be understanding' or 'give them a chance'. A hot oven plate doesn't give you a chance either, it burns you, and you learn. If anyone wants to be a sexist in this time and age, they deserve every response they get. Stop making their nastiness our problem.
Good for her. Ever since I was little I always questioned why my dad would tell us that it was a girl's job to do chores around the house. it seemed unfair to me that just because I was a girl I was expected to do all these things for men. Those were always our arguments over and over. I just never understood it and therefore I always hated cleaning. Things would've been very different had my parents told me "you have to learn how to do chores because you have to learn how to take care of yourself once you move out.
It only as long as they said to BOTH their daughters AND their sons.
Load More Replies... Who are these people? My mum taught me to iron as a kid (although she may have regretted it after I put the iron on the sofa when I was ironing my cub scouts scarf).
The only thing I can add to this is that it isn't only men who exhibit these sort of expectations. I have quite often been faced with doing one thing or another because "it's a man's job" by a woman who has always considered herself an "independent woman."
My friend was once asked by his sister if he could tell some people off for being sexist because people would listen to him. Broke my heart.
I used to do all the ironing. Husband watched some YouTube videos to learn how. Wanted me to do it the "right" way. Welp, he quickly learned that I hold fast to my rule: who does the work decides the details. He accepted that, took over basically all the ironing—to the point that all the children went to him when they needed/wanted something ironed (and I've always been the hugely primary caregiver, so that's saying a lot).
Fascinating/.......there was an era that it was common for men to know how to mend, iron, etc. For a period it became "women's work"......also in my household, myself (cis hetero female) i tend to grill, do random fix-it stuff around the house. my BF tends to do dishes, vacuum, etc.
My husband does his own washing and ironing. I refuse to be a maid in my own home.
when my mom broke her leg I taught my dad how to use the washer and dryer. He called me a couple of times afterwards for more instructions (we lived on different coasts). But he always did his own laundry after that - it was a source of pride for him, I think.
What's an iron? Lol. I actually never owned one when I was married and now only have a travel one that hardly ever gets used. If I need to unwrinkle something I just use the dryer again.
Then is providing women with alimony and dividing the husband's property too is sexism?
Then is providing women with ailmoney and dividing the husband's property too is sexism?
I am soooo OCD on how I want my shirts laundered. I am 6 5 with a sleeve length of 39. Typical size sold in retail max out at a 27. Finding shirts that fit is a very expensive endeavor. 37 years ago I gave my bf (current husband) a 3 ring binder with explicit instructions on how my shirts are to be laundered. If you don't do it my way, keep your paws off. He said ok and thanks. 37 years later, I am still doing the laundry. Just last week, he did a load of laundry, changing all the settings on the machines. I told him-touch my babies again and I will stop doing laundry. He looked at me all wide eyed and shocked. He said ok. The same reason why I do the laundry is the same reason why I am not allowed to dust
Who still irons? If you fold or hang your things straight out of the laundry you don't have to iron. I don't even know if the iron I bought 20 years ago still works or not.
Well, that shirt sounds horrible (a vinyl print shirt? was it a t-shirt? with a big logo print or something, for a party? yikes) and deserved to be ruined on its' own merits. Sounds like she did the world a favor. Good for her.
I know how to iron but had more than enough ironing my uniform for military cadets as a teen. Now i just buy stuff that doesnt need to be ironed
I turned up for a first date with a creased dress and my date ironed it for me.
It's funny how ironing is 'women's work' but the guys they would consider really manly, military men, are made to learn those skills.
Kudos. Men pull this move ALL the time. My grandad taught me when I was 8yrs old "grandma asked me to do the dishes, the secret is to do them so badly she will never ask me to do them again". Right enough, he did such a piss-poor job that he wasn't allowed to wash dishes again. He did that with every household chore to get out of doing it and my grandma just accepted it.
The problem isn’t that fil wanted her to iron his shirt, the problem is she allowed her MIL’s abuser to stay at her house.
Some people do things like being sexist or other faux pas because they don't realize they are doing so. Not every action from somebody is done with the intent to insult or marginalize somebody. My mom always taught us that two wrongs don't make a right .Why can't we politely explain things to people rather than ruining their shirt ? You can't control the actions or thoughts of others , but you can control your own. This youngest generation of adults with the mindset that it's ok to be an a-hole because someone else is an a-hole just means everyone would be a-holes. A lot of people act with little thought, it's more just going along with whatever they've always gone along with. Some people just need it pointed out to them to get them to see their behavior and it's possible implications . Some people are just jerks and it doesn't matter what you say. Make sure you're not an a-hole , it doesn't help anyone
Sorry somethings off here. If he was that horrific why were you comfortable with him staying with you? Why would your fiancé allow this? You never said if his attitude was rude, about, polite etc.. also he might have asked you (if being a normal dude) asked you as he isn't good or felt unable to and you happen to be the first person he says. I'm sorry but it's not really clearly on this as his history was mentioned last and briefly. There's a trend of stories for stories sake alot on reddit, BP and such its feeling the same vibe here. Just me?
Why have him stay at your house? Why even take on the task to begin with if you're in a rush? He didn't have a total meltdown? How did he react? How did you all make alternative clothing arrangements in such little time? I would have just said no. I had a FIL who was raised in a sexist family and it showed. But it was a weird sort of sexism. You couldn't speak when the men were talking, and if you started saying something one of the men would interrupt, each and every time. Women were expected to pull their weight with working, but expected to do most of the house chores, all the child caring, with a little bit of help from a man if absolutely needed. That includes outside house work. Wouldn't matter who owns the car, if a man was in the car the man was expected to be driving at all times. Apparently they believe women cause more accidents than men ( couldn't be further from the truth).
Absolutely wild that you managed to turn her into the villain. Are you the father-in-law?
Load More Replies... Her fiancé was the one that put her in harms way by inviting his horribly abusive father into their home she did her best so he didn't lash out and possibly hit her. Two men in that house that did not care about her well being and you somehow twist it into making it her fault. You're a real winner. You're the reason women stay quiet about abuse but I'm sure that's what you prefer according to every single one of your hateful comments about women.
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