Arrogant Colleagues Call Those Who Rent In Their 30s ‘Failures’, So This Person Made Things Awkward By Calling Them Out
Whatever your financial situation, you can sometimes forget that far from everyone lives just like you. Those having money problems might be stunned to learn that others don’t count every penny like they do. And the opposite is true, too, as one redditor showed us that the rich can be completely clueless and wrapped up in their own little world.
In a viral post on the r/AITA community, redditor AdOpen1605 wanted to find out if they were a jerk for calling out their well-off colleagues who said that they can’t imagine not being able to afford buying a house. Well, the original poster couldn’t keep silent (and, I suspect, not many of us could if we were in their shoes, either).
Have a read through the full story below and we can’t wait to hear what you think about the situation, dear Pandas! And if for some reason you feel bad about not being able to afford a home, trust me, you really aren’t alone. The stats don’t lie.
One employee called out their rich colleagues who had some illusions about home ownership
Image credits: Jopwell (not the actual photo)
Image credits: midiman (not the actual photo)
In a piece for Inc., Jessica Stillman writes about how property-data firm Attom Data Solutions showed how in 74 percent of the United States, the average family can’t afford to buy the median house.
Or, to put it bluntly, in three-quarters of the US, homeownership is out of the question for the average workers. Their average weekly wage simply isn’t enough to cover the mortgage, property taxes, and insurance you’d have to pay for an average house.
However, despite all of this, Statista’s stats show that homeownership rates have actually increased greatly over the past few years. The rate stood at 63.7 percent in 2016 and steadily climbed to 65.8 percent in 2020.
After the redditor shared their opinion, there was a lot of awkwardness in the office
Image credits: AdOpen1605
“The homeownership rate is the proportion of occupied households which are occupied by the owners. This reached its peak in 2004 before the 2007-2009 recession hit and decimated the housing market. The rate continued to fall until 2016, but has begun to increase again since then,” Statista explains.
According to Statista, Americans still believe that owning their own home is part of the American Dream. After the recession, it was financial hardship, rather than a change in this belief, that led to a drop in homeownership rates.
“Homeownership trends vary from generation to generation. Homeownership among Americans over 65 years old is declining, whereas most Millennial renters plan to buy a home in the near future. This suggests that homeownership will remain important in the future, as Millennials are forecast to head most households over the next two decades,” Statista made predictions about the future.
Like you probably could have expected, the r/AITA community slapped a big old NTA sign on AdOpen1605’s post, proclaiming that the redditor wasn’t a jerk for speaking their mind while their coworkers were having a moan about anyone who can’t buy a house.
The redditor’s colleagues then suggested that they could help them ‘better themselves’ so that they could afford a home. Even though they might have meant it in a supportive way (getting a good education can really open a lot of doors that you previously thought were locked to you), it sounded very condescending.
And just because a handful of people were able to ‘work their way up,’ it doesn’t mean that it’s the only factor to consider. Effort and hard work don’t always result in success. Timing, risk, taking advantage of opportunities, knowing the right connections, and even plain old luck can greatly affect whether or not you’ll end up being successful.
Here’s how the redditors of the r/AITA community reacted to the story
What’s the homeownership situation like in your country, dear Pandas? Just how difficult is it to buy a house? Do you plan on getting a house in the near future or will you settle for an apartment? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
I hate the entitled people who believe that you just need to study to be rich. Me and my friends/young relatives all studied biology/ economics/maths. We have all minimum two masters and some of them have three. We all speak minimum three languages (spanish catalan and english) and some of us speak a fourth one. One speaks five languages. We werent able to find paid jobs for years. Now that we are in our 30s some have minimum wage jobs, some are unemployed, I am too ill to work. One of the biologists found an ok paid job. The economists took also years to find stable jobs and finally now they can save some money. None of us could ever save enough to buy a house.
I sell houses and I think buying a house is nowhere near as important as middle class people try to make it seem. Half the people who “own” their houses struggle to pay their mortgage and the mountain of bills that comes with homeownership. Just to puff their egos and say they own something. So the F what. I wish I didn’t even own my car. Leasing everything is less of a headache and less of a hassle. Those people might be comparatively rich to the poor guy making $32k/yr but I guarantee they only feel rich when they compare themselves to him. They NEED him to be in poverty so their incomes can feel higher.
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Not all "rich people" are jerks. There was a receptionist at a company I worked for, and she was polite, helpful and a pleasant person overall. I was very surprised when I heard that she resigned and her family was moving overseas, and that was when I found out that she had several houses in some really nice neighbourhoods, a nanny and a maid. She worked because she was bored when her kids went to school and kindergarten
Such non sequitur nonsense. Nobody said all rich people are jerks. Nobody said all poor people are nice.
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What is it with the sudden influx of AITA posts here, someone at BP just found the sub and are now reposting their favourites? It's getting really annoying with these low-effort articles with stuff copied off AITA, AskReddit and twitter.
Someone at BP just trolls Reddit for things to cross post here, on Reddit Digest.
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Occasionally someone is rich because they a) worked extremely hard and b) were extremely lucky But most of the people who think you're just "lazy" for not owning a house conveniently forget that their own parents provided a safe, secure upbringing, paid for their college tuition and didn't force them to work 4 minimum wage jobs to survive while going to college. And had connections that helped them get jobs right out of college. And also were lucky, in that their degrees ended up being good ones for jobs in the current environment. And of course there are those who just inherit a lot of money and never had to really do much of anything. Or if they're much older people, they also fail to recognize that base pay was 3-4 times what it is now, and housing prices were 1/4 what it is now.
I had a fellow student tell me that she thought it was pretty embarrassing to study and still live with their parents. She knew I was still living with my parents because they couldn't afford to pay for rent and besides, my dad hadn't retired yet so I walked the dog a lot when he and my mum were at work. I moved out when my dad retired and I had found a job that would pay my rent. Guess who didn't have a job but let her parents take care of everything.
The coworker who said that maybe she could better herself is the most out of line. I have a bachelor's degree and I still work a minimum wage job. I have applied for those upper positions and have not been hired for them. I am 35 years old and I rent an apartment and I don't see anything wrong with that. These coworkers were insensitive, yet this person made themselves a target by interjecting into the conversation. When dealing with arrogance, the best thing to do is stay silent. Arrogant people will always find a way to blame the other person for their arrogance like the coworker did here.
I don’t even understand how that can be considered a failure anyway. Home ownership isn’t the be all end all, and there are other options than owning or buying....We’re in our mid-30’s and in the process of selling our home right now and moving our family of 4 into a travel trailer on a friend’s property so we can actually have fun and spend time together as a family instead of working ourselves to death trying to afford a house we don’t even like. Our cost of living is 1/3 of what it was. You are allowed to not participate in the rat race if you choose.
Money is only a “no-no” topic at places that don’t pay. And people who make $100,000 a year with their ugly kids and basicbitch suburban houses and think of themselves as being rich are by far more delusional than the OP. They are the petty bourgeoisie who think of themselves in the upper echelons of society with their cheesy timeshares and endless employee status at large companies. They’re financially better off than the guy on poverty salary, but so what? You’re richer than the poorest people, congratulations on thinking that gives you some status over him. The petty bourgeoisie NEED there to be poor people to compare themselves to. They don’t OWN those dorky houses. They mortgage them. The bank owns them and the bank will continue to own them after those 50+ year old losers retire and they go underwater or upside down in their mortgages. They can enjoy paying their homeowners insurance and UNDOUBTEDLY their pathetic HOA fees and more interest than principle and feel superior. Vom.
*raises hand* I live where we have an HOA situation, and feel very wealthy, but that's b/c I was raised poor. I only feel lucky, blessed, and did I mention lucky and blessed? Also tired, b/c we worked hard to get to the point, and we don't have any outstanding debt *except* our mortgage. No, my house isn't all that, blah blah blah ------ but my braggy in-laws are always begging financial help from their parents, and make more annually than my hubby and I do. It's like some weird psychosis. "I must be royal somehow!"... Uh... no thanks.
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Probably late to the party here, but...not everyone wants to own a house. There's a lot that goes into home ownership. It's easier to make a phone call to maintenance than call a repairman and wait for him/her to come. And then there's the cost of landscape maintenance. All sorts of issues beyond the purchase of the house itself. Some people just don't want that. Or want to stay in the city where they live. And so on. It's not just a matter of money.
NTA in any way at all. They were the ones who brought up the subject of money, not her. They had their "facts" wrong, not her. But because they were corrected on a few things, namely being insensitive to folks outside of the echo chamber, she's to blame because they felt slightly uncomfortable.
McDonalds has degreed flippers. Houses are crazy now. I bought in 2003. A house that was in foreclosure 23000, but couldn't get a mortgage bc I didn't need enough to justify a mortgage. Luckily I had other assets I could get a loan on. So still couldn't have bought with out assets that many don't have. Also it's not just the mortgage payment but insurance, property tax, repairs, higher electricity. Sometimes renting is better.
In my country, if you work as a cashier in a grocery store, you can save up and by a small home within 10 years. Depending on where you want to live. You can do it faster if you don't mind living in the countryside.
But oooh.. I forgot, high minimum wages and socialism! That's a dangerous road to take...
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something tells me smokemaster_5000 is a bit of a prick. Wether you're talking about a particular person or not, you have no right to belittle them for not being able to find a house in a collapsing market. It's easier to rent because rich ass landlords snap up all the affordable houses so you're pretty much made to rent in that case...
What’s sad is that min wage workers make so little that they can’t even rent. So by raising their wages other earners will go up. So when you think about is ownership is so out of reach it’s heartbreaking for many. The old Hitchcock movie Shadow of a Doubt shows a head of the family owning a home and he’s a bank teller (his wife does not work). Today bank tellers are largely women, paid very low, and so unable to buy a home it’s ridiculous. Additionally the student loan burden is huge compared to boomers who nearly paid nothing, graduated to insta-job, and rode a stock market and housing boom.
Sounds weird tho. I pay 480 for my loan. Renting the same place would cost me at least 700. You don't need a house that is fully up to date to all of the standards, as long as you can live healthy and comfortable. So what if it's built 70 years ago. Later down rhe road you can always renovate it, or move again. It is worth looking out for a good deal. Even if it takes a while. Once the loan is payed off, in 25 years, you are golden. Personally i wouldn't want to be renting by the time I retire. I made about 22k when I went for a loan for this house. Though, i would agree. I suffered and stressed a lot in the beginning. And talking down on someone for not earning what you earn. Or not buying what you are buying is a shitty thing to do.
This depends on geography and generation, I think, but that's just my POV. All the money we saved for a down payment on a house went bye-bye to pay medical bills. we had ot start over saving. And again and again... We got there, but it is not *simple* if you want to be able to afford the mortgage! IMHO, of course.
Wonder what the ratio of home ownership to accrued debt is? I know home owners who go to food pantries for food.
I'm 31 and I prefer renting, because if something breaks I don't have to pay to fix it. I just got a brand new dishwasher that costs more than my rent...for free. I don't have to mow my lawn, shovel my snow, landscape my yard, repair my roof, all that is done for me. Maintenance will even come over and change my lightbulbs if I ask them to. I think in the long run I'm saving money by not having to own all the equipment it takes to upkeep a house.
I’m in the real estate industry for every line of my income and I 100% agree with you. Down to the lightbulbs. Make it someone else’s problem. If I ever buy property for myself again it won’t be here in America.
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I'm trying to write this so I don't sound like one of those entitled jerks. When I was in college I made about $10k yearly and I was able to save money most months. My situation was different from most peoples however. I was single with no kids and I was a live in aid for a disabled friend. He didn't charge me rent because I was severely underpaid by the state for what the job required. I did however help out with some of the utilities. Even without rent $800 a month isnt much to live on and I had to make sacrifices. I rode a bike to the grocery store because I couldn't afford gas. My cell phone was always a used one several models behind. And I had the slowest cheapest internet package even though I was going to school online and it made watching my lectures difficult. After I graduated and got a good job I kept the same habits. Within 5 years I had paid off over half of my student loans and bought two houses, one of which is a rental.
Using Reddit posts for point-whoring is getting pretty tiresome on BP. I love Reddit, and I don't need a repeat of it here.
But they weren’t talking about the OP. They were talking about how they would feel in their situation, given their opportunities and privileges. What is a failure in one set of circumstances is success in another.
I really hate that sentiment - when it isn't OK for them but OK for others. Another example is "I'm so fat" says a size 2. Me being a 12 or 20 or whatever says "I must be an elephant". "oh, no, you're fine!" Says the other person, clearly trying to cover it up. That said, I have 2 more cents to share. $100k is a lot more than $32k, and you can do a lot more, but it also isn't rich. I'm not rich. I get accused of that when I am just breathing. My salary alone when I work is about $32k. My husband'd old job and mine combined got us to about 100k, and now his job alone is decently above $100k. We aren't rich. I shop at Goodwill and Walmart. I was called things by a room mate for coming home with 3 bags of Goodwill items totalling $25. I am not Kim Kardashianing my way around. I get it: it SUCKS we have people who can't afford food on their table. I wish we could change that. But the jealousy and comments to people making more really has to stop, too.
Why does it have to stop? People’s complaints don’t pay your bills. Let them be, they are struggling. Your trying to justify your spending just makes it seem like you agree anyway. I earn more than $100,000 a year and I “Kim Kardashian around.” It’s my money, I would never justify myself by saying “oh no it’s okay it’s okay I shop at goodwill!” So what. You’re playing right into the comments you claim you don’t like.
Load More Replies... This topic cannot be subsumed into a single post. There are several dimensions: 1. the simple AITA question, 2. the discussion on how the well-earning people featured live in a bubble (I do not get how you would accept things for granted, regardless where you come from), and 3. the question on income equality (while most countries with a capitalistic system favour a progressive growths in income, i.e. a slightly better job pays much more money, some countries, most notably the scandinavian ones have a rather degressive system – a Norwegian bus driver will make about half as much as a university professor; such a system still incentivies higher education yet leads to a fairer society).
I hate the entitled people who believe that you just need to study to be rich. Me and my friends/young relatives all studied biology/ economics/maths. We have all minimum two masters and some of them have three. We all speak minimum three languages (spanish catalan and english) and some of us speak a fourth one. One speaks five languages. We werent able to find paid jobs for years. Now that we are in our 30s some have minimum wage jobs, some are unemployed, I am too ill to work. One of the biologists found an ok paid job. The economists took also years to find stable jobs and finally now they can save some money. None of us could ever save enough to buy a house.
I sell houses and I think buying a house is nowhere near as important as middle class people try to make it seem. Half the people who “own” their houses struggle to pay their mortgage and the mountain of bills that comes with homeownership. Just to puff their egos and say they own something. So the F what. I wish I didn’t even own my car. Leasing everything is less of a headache and less of a hassle. Those people might be comparatively rich to the poor guy making $32k/yr but I guarantee they only feel rich when they compare themselves to him. They NEED him to be in poverty so their incomes can feel higher.
Load More Replies... Not all "rich people" are jerks. There was a receptionist at a company I worked for, and she was polite, helpful and a pleasant person overall. I was very surprised when I heard that she resigned and her family was moving overseas, and that was when I found out that she had several houses in some really nice neighbourhoods, a nanny and a maid. She worked because she was bored when her kids went to school and kindergarten
Such non sequitur nonsense. Nobody said all rich people are jerks. Nobody said all poor people are nice.
Load More Replies... What is it with the sudden influx of AITA posts here, someone at BP just found the sub and are now reposting their favourites? It's getting really annoying with these low-effort articles with stuff copied off AITA, AskReddit and twitter.
Someone at BP just trolls Reddit for things to cross post here, on Reddit Digest.
Load More Replies... Occasionally someone is rich because they a) worked extremely hard and b) were extremely lucky But most of the people who think you're just "lazy" for not owning a house conveniently forget that their own parents provided a safe, secure upbringing, paid for their college tuition and didn't force them to work 4 minimum wage jobs to survive while going to college. And had connections that helped them get jobs right out of college. And also were lucky, in that their degrees ended up being good ones for jobs in the current environment. And of course there are those who just inherit a lot of money and never had to really do much of anything. Or if they're much older people, they also fail to recognize that base pay was 3-4 times what it is now, and housing prices were 1/4 what it is now.
I had a fellow student tell me that she thought it was pretty embarrassing to study and still live with their parents. She knew I was still living with my parents because they couldn't afford to pay for rent and besides, my dad hadn't retired yet so I walked the dog a lot when he and my mum were at work. I moved out when my dad retired and I had found a job that would pay my rent. Guess who didn't have a job but let her parents take care of everything.
The coworker who said that maybe she could better herself is the most out of line. I have a bachelor's degree and I still work a minimum wage job. I have applied for those upper positions and have not been hired for them. I am 35 years old and I rent an apartment and I don't see anything wrong with that. These coworkers were insensitive, yet this person made themselves a target by interjecting into the conversation. When dealing with arrogance, the best thing to do is stay silent. Arrogant people will always find a way to blame the other person for their arrogance like the coworker did here.
I don’t even understand how that can be considered a failure anyway. Home ownership isn’t the be all end all, and there are other options than owning or buying....We’re in our mid-30’s and in the process of selling our home right now and moving our family of 4 into a travel trailer on a friend’s property so we can actually have fun and spend time together as a family instead of working ourselves to death trying to afford a house we don’t even like. Our cost of living is 1/3 of what it was. You are allowed to not participate in the rat race if you choose.
Money is only a “no-no” topic at places that don’t pay. And people who make $100,000 a year with their ugly kids and basicbitch suburban houses and think of themselves as being rich are by far more delusional than the OP. They are the petty bourgeoisie who think of themselves in the upper echelons of society with their cheesy timeshares and endless employee status at large companies. They’re financially better off than the guy on poverty salary, but so what? You’re richer than the poorest people, congratulations on thinking that gives you some status over him. The petty bourgeoisie NEED there to be poor people to compare themselves to. They don’t OWN those dorky houses. They mortgage them. The bank owns them and the bank will continue to own them after those 50+ year old losers retire and they go underwater or upside down in their mortgages. They can enjoy paying their homeowners insurance and UNDOUBTEDLY their pathetic HOA fees and more interest than principle and feel superior. Vom.
*raises hand* I live where we have an HOA situation, and feel very wealthy, but that's b/c I was raised poor. I only feel lucky, blessed, and did I mention lucky and blessed? Also tired, b/c we worked hard to get to the point, and we don't have any outstanding debt *except* our mortgage. No, my house isn't all that, blah blah blah ------ but my braggy in-laws are always begging financial help from their parents, and make more annually than my hubby and I do. It's like some weird psychosis. "I must be royal somehow!"... Uh... no thanks.
Load More Replies... Probably late to the party here, but...not everyone wants to own a house. There's a lot that goes into home ownership. It's easier to make a phone call to maintenance than call a repairman and wait for him/her to come. And then there's the cost of landscape maintenance. All sorts of issues beyond the purchase of the house itself. Some people just don't want that. Or want to stay in the city where they live. And so on. It's not just a matter of money.
NTA in any way at all. They were the ones who brought up the subject of money, not her. They had their "facts" wrong, not her. But because they were corrected on a few things, namely being insensitive to folks outside of the echo chamber, she's to blame because they felt slightly uncomfortable.
McDonalds has degreed flippers. Houses are crazy now. I bought in 2003. A house that was in foreclosure 23000, but couldn't get a mortgage bc I didn't need enough to justify a mortgage. Luckily I had other assets I could get a loan on. So still couldn't have bought with out assets that many don't have. Also it's not just the mortgage payment but insurance, property tax, repairs, higher electricity. Sometimes renting is better.
In my country, if you work as a cashier in a grocery store, you can save up and by a small home within 10 years. Depending on where you want to live. You can do it faster if you don't mind living in the countryside.
But oooh.. I forgot, high minimum wages and socialism! That's a dangerous road to take...
Load More Replies... something tells me smokemaster_5000 is a bit of a prick. Wether you're talking about a particular person or not, you have no right to belittle them for not being able to find a house in a collapsing market. It's easier to rent because rich ass landlords snap up all the affordable houses so you're pretty much made to rent in that case...
What’s sad is that min wage workers make so little that they can’t even rent. So by raising their wages other earners will go up. So when you think about is ownership is so out of reach it’s heartbreaking for many. The old Hitchcock movie Shadow of a Doubt shows a head of the family owning a home and he’s a bank teller (his wife does not work). Today bank tellers are largely women, paid very low, and so unable to buy a home it’s ridiculous. Additionally the student loan burden is huge compared to boomers who nearly paid nothing, graduated to insta-job, and rode a stock market and housing boom.
Sounds weird tho. I pay 480 for my loan. Renting the same place would cost me at least 700. You don't need a house that is fully up to date to all of the standards, as long as you can live healthy and comfortable. So what if it's built 70 years ago. Later down rhe road you can always renovate it, or move again. It is worth looking out for a good deal. Even if it takes a while. Once the loan is payed off, in 25 years, you are golden. Personally i wouldn't want to be renting by the time I retire. I made about 22k when I went for a loan for this house. Though, i would agree. I suffered and stressed a lot in the beginning. And talking down on someone for not earning what you earn. Or not buying what you are buying is a shitty thing to do.
This depends on geography and generation, I think, but that's just my POV. All the money we saved for a down payment on a house went bye-bye to pay medical bills. we had ot start over saving. And again and again... We got there, but it is not *simple* if you want to be able to afford the mortgage! IMHO, of course.
Wonder what the ratio of home ownership to accrued debt is? I know home owners who go to food pantries for food.
I'm 31 and I prefer renting, because if something breaks I don't have to pay to fix it. I just got a brand new dishwasher that costs more than my rent...for free. I don't have to mow my lawn, shovel my snow, landscape my yard, repair my roof, all that is done for me. Maintenance will even come over and change my lightbulbs if I ask them to. I think in the long run I'm saving money by not having to own all the equipment it takes to upkeep a house.
I’m in the real estate industry for every line of my income and I 100% agree with you. Down to the lightbulbs. Make it someone else’s problem. If I ever buy property for myself again it won’t be here in America.
Load More Replies... I'm trying to write this so I don't sound like one of those entitled jerks. When I was in college I made about $10k yearly and I was able to save money most months. My situation was different from most peoples however. I was single with no kids and I was a live in aid for a disabled friend. He didn't charge me rent because I was severely underpaid by the state for what the job required. I did however help out with some of the utilities. Even without rent $800 a month isnt much to live on and I had to make sacrifices. I rode a bike to the grocery store because I couldn't afford gas. My cell phone was always a used one several models behind. And I had the slowest cheapest internet package even though I was going to school online and it made watching my lectures difficult. After I graduated and got a good job I kept the same habits. Within 5 years I had paid off over half of my student loans and bought two houses, one of which is a rental.
Using Reddit posts for point-whoring is getting pretty tiresome on BP. I love Reddit, and I don't need a repeat of it here.
But they weren’t talking about the OP. They were talking about how they would feel in their situation, given their opportunities and privileges. What is a failure in one set of circumstances is success in another.
I really hate that sentiment - when it isn't OK for them but OK for others. Another example is "I'm so fat" says a size 2. Me being a 12 or 20 or whatever says "I must be an elephant". "oh, no, you're fine!" Says the other person, clearly trying to cover it up. That said, I have 2 more cents to share. $100k is a lot more than $32k, and you can do a lot more, but it also isn't rich. I'm not rich. I get accused of that when I am just breathing. My salary alone when I work is about $32k. My husband'd old job and mine combined got us to about 100k, and now his job alone is decently above $100k. We aren't rich. I shop at Goodwill and Walmart. I was called things by a room mate for coming home with 3 bags of Goodwill items totalling $25. I am not Kim Kardashianing my way around. I get it: it SUCKS we have people who can't afford food on their table. I wish we could change that. But the jealousy and comments to people making more really has to stop, too.
Why does it have to stop? People’s complaints don’t pay your bills. Let them be, they are struggling. Your trying to justify your spending just makes it seem like you agree anyway. I earn more than $100,000 a year and I “Kim Kardashian around.” It’s my money, I would never justify myself by saying “oh no it’s okay it’s okay I shop at goodwill!” So what. You’re playing right into the comments you claim you don’t like.
Load More Replies... This topic cannot be subsumed into a single post. There are several dimensions: 1. the simple AITA question, 2. the discussion on how the well-earning people featured live in a bubble (I do not get how you would accept things for granted, regardless where you come from), and 3. the question on income equality (while most countries with a capitalistic system favour a progressive growths in income, i.e. a slightly better job pays much more money, some countries, most notably the scandinavian ones have a rather degressive system – a Norwegian bus driver will make about half as much as a university professor; such a system still incentivies higher education yet leads to a fairer society).
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