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We all make fools out of ourselves every now and then. Nobody is safe from that unwelcome sense of anxiety once you realized the thing you just said makes zero sense. But things that leave your mouth, whether IRL or online, do stay there, oftentimes forever.

And there’s a whole corner of Reddit, r/S***AmericansSay, dedicated entirely to the mission of collecting the stupidest, funniest, and sometimes embarrassing cases of people being so convinced they know better when they couldn’t be further away from the truth.

So let’s ready ourselves for the ensued hilarity, ‘cause we are about to have a fair share of it, trust me.

#2

“Who Was The First Country On Planet Earth To Ban Slavery? That’s Right, America”

“Who Was The First Country On Planet Earth To Ban Slavery? That’s Right, America”

Aironwood Report

There’s an abundance of scientific evidence that shows humans are poor judges of their own abilities, whether it’s their sense of humor or grammar. In fact, psychologists believe that we are more blind to our own failings than we realize. This idea comes from the 1999 study in which David Dunning and Justin Kruger from Cornell University, New York, tested if people who lack skills and abilities are also more likely to lack awareness of their lack of ability.

#3

You're On The Internet, Which Is American

You're On The Internet, Which Is American

Nulligravida Report

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Sum Guy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The internet has helped us see how much of a total s**t show the USA is... they can't hide behind the propaganda machine we call movies

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The results of the tests led the authors to the interpretation that accurately assessing one's skill level relies on some of the same core abilities as actually performing that skill. It led them to the conclusion that the least competent maybe suffering a double deficit.

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#6

Well Allocated Funds

Well Allocated Funds

lNoahl Report

“Not only are they incompetent, but they lack the mental tools to judge their own incompetence,” Kruger and Dunning thought. During the course of four individual tests run on participants, the scientists discovered that “People who scored in the lowest percentiles on tests of grammar, humor, and logic also tended to dramatically overestimate how well they had performed (their actual test scores placed them in the 12th percentile, but they estimated that their performance placed them in the 62nd percentile).”

#7

Pridemonth

Pridemonth

unknown Report

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Cath Homer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Homosexuality is illegal in Liberia. Maybe it was deliberate? *reaching*

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#8

'People Who Leave Their Phones Set To Military Time Are War Criminals'

'People Who Leave Their Phones Set To Military Time Are War Criminals'

reddit.com Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was older than I would EVER care to publicly admit when I learned that “military time” I often heard referred was not some secret, complicated way of working out the time you’re only privy to having served in the army but simply the reading of a 24 hour clock.

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Dunning shared his impressions in an article for Pacific Standard: "In many cases, incompetence does not leave people disoriented, perplexed, or cautious. Instead, the incompetent are often blessed with an inappropriate confidence, buoyed by something that feels to them like knowledge." The phenomenon is known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect and most of us have surely encountered numerous cases of it in real life.

#9

Go To Panama, This Is America

Go To Panama, This Is America

Pontoisien Report

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Hans
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would be tempted to argue that THIS is the virtual, borderless world....

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#11

“More People Use Imperial Than Metric”

“More People Use Imperial Than Metric”

Corporal-Porpoise Report

#13

People Engaging Me In German Because I Look German

People Engaging Me In German Because I Look German

Mr_-_X Report

#15

Where Does It Say In The Constitution Or Any Of The Amendments That Eating Is A Human Right?

Where Does It Say In The Constitution Or Any Of The Amendments That Eating Is A Human Right?

Liam_Noble Report

#16

"More People Know About Our Smallest State Vermont Then The Amsterdam"

"More People Know About Our Smallest State Vermont Then The Amsterdam"

Particular_Edge2308 Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"SHUT UP ! DON'T PROVE ME WRONG YOU FILTHY INFERIOR FOREIGNER!!!!!"

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#17

“We Will Never Rewrite The Constitution”

“We Will Never Rewrite The Constitution”

reddit.com Report

#18

Your Haircuts Are Un-American

Your Haircuts Are Un-American

3Squareheadz Report

#20

Hmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmm

Classic-CJ Report

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Eslamala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure, just like "america" celebrates other countries' independence day 🙄

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#21

Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

Merlin428bretz Report

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Marianne
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Munich citizen here. I can confirm that we do, in fact, write signs in our own language. We are crazy people!

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#22

“...your Hip Would Break Because Their Medical Staff Is Garage...”

“...your Hip Would Break Because Their Medical Staff Is Garage...”

ThatMusicKid Report

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know people who have travelled to other countries to get medical/dental care because the air fair and other expenses plus cost of treatment were cheaper than in US. It is literally true.

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#23

Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

anotherwankusername Report

#24

"Offended By Our Patriotism, Wattpad Girl?"

"Offended By Our Patriotism, Wattpad Girl?"

KWAKUDATSU Report

#25

The Titanic Is Just A Movie, Right?

The Titanic Is Just A Movie, Right?

unknown Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Canadians also think Star Wars was completely made up so I wouldn’t worry too much about what they think.

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#27

“I Am In Rhode Island”. “Nice, Ever Been To The USA Before”?

“I Am In Rhode Island”. “Nice, Ever Been To The USA Before”?

reddit.com Report

#28

Biden's America

Biden's America

unknown Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Random person falls down in Greece* “Biden’s America”.

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#29

"At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

"At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

RogueArtemis Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doesn't Angel Merkel just pee in the Spree ? Doesn't the queen's butler empty her chamber pot in the Thames every morning ?

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#30

What Does He Care? He's Not A Us Citizen, He's Not Effected

What Does He Care? He's Not A Us Citizen, He's Not Effected

sandiercy Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn’t realise that the US was global, oh wait, they do have the World Series which only the US plays in. so I guess it makes sense lol.

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#31

Would Love To See Some Of These Countries Try To F With Us

Would Love To See Some Of These Countries Try To F With Us

louckak Report

#32

“The White House Is Bigger Than All The Countries You Named”

“The White House Is Bigger Than All The Countries You Named”

theelleintraveller Report

#33

"I'd Rather Receive False Information..."

"I'd Rather Receive False Information..."

Theemuts Report

#35

Commie Divas

Commie Divas

Gerceval_ Report

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, this doesn't belong here. "Soccer" is a British word. Yes, the Americans took it and ran with it (no pun intended), but it originated in Oxford in about 1890. Americans didn't invent it.

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#36

(Sad) Mistake A North Korean Flag For A Texan Flag

(Sad) Mistake A North Korean Flag For A Texan Flag

GriffinFTW Report

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Gemma
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plot twist: they're holding a sign denouncing Kim Jong-un.

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#37

But We Can Pock Whatever Doctor Or Healthcare Insurer We Want! We Win

But We Can Pock Whatever Doctor Or Healthcare Insurer We Want! We Win

Mr_-_X Report

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Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We can pick whatever doctor or hospital we want to be in debt to for the rest of our lives!

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#38

“They Started Faking An Accent”

“They Started Faking An Accent”

ArkhamKnight342 Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people believe that the Earth is 2000 years old. This one thinks it's 200 yo apparently

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Wouter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, this honestly isn't far from the truth, apparently old English pronunciation is more similar to American English than to current English. Even the Beeb agrees. https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20180207-how-americans-preserved-british-english

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John Whitaker
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Came here for this. The guy wrote it poorly, but he's not wrong. I also like how the biggest port cities started to change their accents to mimic the british high society, and that's why New York and Boston and Charleston and the like all drop their Rs to this day. Just trying to fit in as loyalists to the crown.

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Skara Brae
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oddly enough, this one is fairly true. Research: Received Pronunciation.

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Thomas brennan
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shockingly - and most likely accidentally - this guy is actually right. The accent in New England along with a lot of words like sidewalk etc. more closely resemble Elizabethan English than modern UK English. For a combination of reasons UK English has evolved a lot more than 'American' English - so 'technically' it's the 'traditional' language. Although, it is of course more simplified with the spellings etc. that was a post-revolutionary movement and a separate thing all together. I fully recommend reading Bill Bryson's Mother Tongue. He goes into this and many other interesting linguistic issues in detail.

davenyc88 avatar
Dave P
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

actually according to linguists the British accent of the 1700's is much closer to the modern American than the British current one, over the 1800's we see the change to the British accent we know today. But the American accent is actually closer to the traditional english accent than the British one. Also our use of terms and words are closer to the original british than modern british. http://bbc.com/culture/article/20180207-how-americans-preserved-british-english

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Nicholas Kraemer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is actually reason to believe this is true. https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20180207-how-americans-preserved-british-english

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Robert T
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering that only a fraction of the American population emigrated from English-speaking countries, it is amazing that Americans speak something vaguely related to English at all. But then again English is an amalgamation of German, Greek, Latin, French, Anglo-Saxon....

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

George III : "My dear subjects. We lost the civil war to those ungrteful traitors because of Louis XVI, so we will purposely change the way we all have always been speaking for some reason. So sayeth the king."

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Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you expect from the Americans? we even pinched their language, shame on us.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe they may technically be correct. From what I’ve read, it’s been discovered that the British pretty much spoke like the descendants of colonists who settled on Tangier Island, MD. They were cut off from the influx of immigrants that affected larger cities because it’s in a rural part of the state, so their accent remained intact. Even if Tangier Islanders did come to the mainland, they’d land at Crisfield MD, which is a tiny town of Watermen and small seafood packing plants. They’re not speaking Cockney or “cultured” English, but in more of a broad Midlands/Cornish mixed accent. FWIW, I also understand that both the stereotypical Cockney and “cultured” English accents are Victorian constructs.

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RoseTheMad
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fun Fact, the oldest dialect in Britain is the northern Dialects, such as Geordie, which originated as a dialect roughly 1,500 years ago. So given the pilgrims only arrived in 'Murica in the early 1600's, (so, 400-ish years ago) the whole "you spoke like Americans before" thing is complete bullshit. :)

davenyc88 avatar
Dave P
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The BBC would like to have a word with you http://bbc.com/culture/article/20180207-how-americans-preserved-british-english

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English can't possibly come from England! Oh horror of horrors. (And yes I know it is a mish mash of languages as not an originating one)

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Elizabeth Molloy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus H f*****g Christ! The UK has been invaded by SO MANY other peoples over the thousands of years it's been inhabited, each area has its own accent, derived from when they were each separate kingdoms.

dthkls avatar
Bill Karp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but what about other European accents, seems rather specific bloody hell

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M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah the commentor also believes that 45 was a "stable genius." Which, if he's talking about animal buggery, he may well have been a stable genius.

m-alharbash29 avatar
FloridaMan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i feel ashamed that i spell in american and choose american english in games

rhemore1 avatar
Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Americans seem to think they know more about speaking English than the English do. How many of the so called 'books' and written documentation was written by the British? Very few I don't doubt. Best to look into some original written works from the centuries you say you speak, I doubt if you could understand them.

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Joe Smith
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people think the world is flat! This one thinks it’s a triangle. Thank a dumb ass for Americans.

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MandaPanda
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you do the eye squint emoji, cause that's what I'm doing right now.

dc1 avatar
DC
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It actually is true that the average english person uses like 3000 different words in daily talking without further specifications. The average MuRiCaN's range is about 500 of that word thingies. Great Again!

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Jill Bussey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Americans appear to believe they invented the language they speak. Apparently nothing to do with the fact that a large percentage of them have British ancestors.

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Just saying
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The American accent is actually closer to the accent the Brits who went there spoke - 400 years ago. American just haven't progressed as much.

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Bardhi's Dad
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Zoe Vokes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a weird choice. It usually says English (British) and English (American). This seems designed to offend Americans.

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Eemeli Saarelainen (Molter)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suppose it's actual simplified English which is targeted for foreign speakers. It just happens to be in American accent. For example, there are Wikipedia articles in simplified English.

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Teacher Alice
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read british posh people started to change their accents because they didnt want to sound like americans and now they all speak like that, don't know if it's true.

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Andrea Owen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not. People all over Britain have different accents. Some of them are even hard for other British people to understand.

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Random Anon
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uhh does this dude think George III has a castle and throne in the continental US before the revolution? lol..

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Rissie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well actually, this is somewhat true. The American accent is closer to English back then, than many English accents today.

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#39

"[...]although My Ancestry Dna Gives Me Zero Italian Dna On My Dad's Side, I'll Stick With Being 1/4 Italian!"

"[...]although My Ancestry Dna Gives Me Zero Italian Dna On My Dad's Side, I'll Stick With Being 1/4 Italian!"

azulhombre Report

#40

"It's Amazing To See How Few Countries Know That "Soccer" Is The Correct Term"

"It's Amazing To See How Few Countries Know That "Soccer" Is The Correct Term"

Andros1510Ro Report

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#42

Is Mediterranean A Slur To Italians?

Is Mediterranean A Slur To Italians?

big-black-ramarro Report

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Rick
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m actually going to start using this! “Ugh, you’re *so* Mediterranean”.

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#43

Are We Acting Like That's Not Possible?

Are We Acting Like That's Not Possible?

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#44

"American Deaths Are Worth More"

"American Deaths Are Worth More"

zzvu Report

#45

European Countries Don't Have Elections As They Are Too Poor To Pay For The Patent Rights

European Countries Don't Have Elections As They Are Too Poor To Pay For The Patent Rights

StrammerMax Report

#46

Wait Other Countries Didn't Have To Sing Their National Anthem Everyday At School For 12 Years???

Wait Other Countries Didn't Have To Sing Their National Anthem Everyday At School For 12 Years???

reddit.com Report

#47

The Real Heros Are The Ones Who Served The Us Military

The Real Heros Are The Ones Who Served The Us Military

A_Cat_Named_Frank Report

#50

My Ancestors Are American And They Came From America

My Ancestors Are American And They Came From America

reddit.com Report

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe they are a 100% pure native american with a French surname and the Quebec province is a myth ? No. Definitely not. They are just an ignorant idiot.

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#51

Europe Is A Country

Europe Is A Country

unknown Report

Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 51 images based on user votes.