We all make fools out of ourselves every now and then. Nobody is safe from that unwelcome sense of anxiety once you realized the thing you just said makes zero sense. But things that leave your mouth, whether IRL or online, do stay there, oftentimes forever.

And there’s a whole corner of Reddit, r/S***AmericansSay, dedicated entirely to the mission of collecting the stupidest, funniest, and sometimes embarrassing cases of people being so convinced they know better when they couldn’t be further away from the truth.

So let’s ready ourselves for the ensued hilarity, ‘cause we are about to have a fair share of it, trust me.

#1

“I Get That Native Americans Are Upset, I Get It”

“I Get That Native Americans Are Upset, I Get It”

reddit.com Report

Suzy the observer
Community Member
5 months ago

Great answer.

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#2

“Who Was The First Country On Planet Earth To Ban Slavery? That’s Right, America”

“Who Was The First Country On Planet Earth To Ban Slavery? That’s Right, America”

Aironwood Report

Watching
Community Member
5 months ago

The few, the loud, the uneducated.

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There’s an abundance of scientific evidence that shows humans are poor judges of their own abilities, whether it’s their sense of humor or grammar. In fact, psychologists believe that we are more blind to our own failings than we realize. This idea comes from the 1999 study in which David Dunning and Justin Kruger from Cornell University, New York, tested if people who lack skills and abilities are also more likely to lack awareness of their lack of ability.

#3

You're On The Internet, Which Is American

You're On The Internet, Which Is American

Nulligravida Report

Sum Guy
Community Member
5 months ago

The internet has helped us see how much of a total s**t show the USA is... they can't hide behind the propaganda machine we call movies

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#4

America Is The Reason You Have Cars

America Is The Reason You Have Cars

LazyFlamingRooster Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

oop-

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The results of the tests led the authors to the interpretation that accurately assessing one's skill level relies on some of the same core abilities as actually performing that skill. It led them to the conclusion that the least competent maybe suffering a double deficit.

#5

Should Ask Them If Jews Matter Too

Should Ask Them If Jews Matter Too

reddit.com Report

Downunderdude
Community Member
5 months ago

Nice comeback.

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#6

Well Allocated Funds

Well Allocated Funds

lNoahl Report

Rick
Community Member
5 months ago

That’s an official Twitter account? Good god.

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“Not only are they incompetent, but they lack the mental tools to judge their own incompetence,” Kruger and Dunning thought. During the course of four individual tests run on participants, the scientists discovered that “People who scored in the lowest percentiles on tests of grammar, humor, and logic also tended to dramatically overestimate how well they had performed (their actual test scores placed them in the 12th percentile, but they estimated that their performance placed them in the 62nd percentile).”

#7

Pridemonth

Pridemonth

unknown Report

Cath Homer
Community Member
5 months ago

Homosexuality is illegal in Liberia. Maybe it was deliberate? *reaching*

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#8

'People Who Leave Their Phones Set To Military Time Are War Criminals'

'People Who Leave Their Phones Set To Military Time Are War Criminals'

reddit.com Report

Rick
Community Member
5 months ago

I was older than I would EVER care to publicly admit when I learned that “military time” I often heard referred was not some secret, complicated way of working out the time you’re only privy to having served in the army but simply the reading of a 24 hour clock.

Rakjell Hanwell
Community Member
5 months ago

Me too. And I live in a country where we use 'Military time'. I was like, why do they call it that?? That's the time measurement that everyone, including my old grandma, what is 'military about that?

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Marky Mark
Community Member
5 months ago

There are 24 hours in a day, so why not count them all. By extension, maybe Americans should count only 6 months, and label them BS and PS (Before Summer and Post Summer)

Something
Community Member
5 months ago

We should, actually, because the months before summer are BS.

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Marianne
Community Member
5 months ago

Ah yes, military time. Or normal time, as we say in Germany.

JuJu
Community Member
5 months ago

We could totally throw them off with something like dreiviertel zehn. :D

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James016
Community Member
5 months ago

I've never heard of the 24 hour clock being called military time

Eric Law
Community Member
5 months ago

For an American, being able to count to 12 when you only have 10 fingers is considered a superpower.

Nikki Owens
Community Member
5 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bigotry is truly ugly.

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J. F.
Community Member
5 months ago

Or known as normal time in Germany - military would be saying stuff like "Tomorrow at zero-sixhundred"

Katrina B.
Community Member
5 months ago

Many hospitals in the US use 24h time as well. It's not just the military who uses that type of clock.

Deena Salzman
Community Member
5 months ago

Right! My partner works in a psych hospital and 24 hour time makes it impossible to mix up whether a patient is supposed to get their meds at 10 AM or 10 PM. It's 10 or it's 22. No mix ups!

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Daria Z
Community Member
5 months ago

It's the normal standard of time in my country, didn't know it was 'military' elsewhere :D

Cathelijne Van
Community Member
5 months ago

Oooh, didn't know this is referred to as military time??? Everyone uses this in the Netherlands. Very handy actually...

Vicky Zar
Community Member
5 months ago

It is only in the US. Maybe in GB. Not sure. Do only Americans use am and pm or every english speaking country?

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Full of Giggles
Community Member
5 months ago

How many Tide Pods did this kid eat?

María Hermida
Community Member
5 months ago

One too many

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Cathy Homan
Community Member
5 months ago

Apparently I'm a bootlicker and a war criminal. My phone is set to 24 hour clock. When I learned to tell time i lived in West Germany.

Viva Patata
Community Member
5 months ago

Military time? Well, here it's just time you know. That's what we learn when we are kids :-)

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago

I didn’t learn military time until after I left school. I had heard of it in movies but I never understood how it worked until my mid to late teens.

ThatOneCrazyFanGirl
Community Member
5 months ago

My mom uses military time bc she works at a hospital. So i guess shes going to be recruited to the army......

I Liquored On
Community Member
5 months ago

We just call it time over here

Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I always set my clocks to military time if they have that option. It’s not all that damned difficult to learn, folks.

Random Anon
Community Member
5 months ago

I've been using 24h time format since I was like 10? Just to wake up at the right time in the middle of the night to watch live football (soccer in the US) games.

Eslamala
Community Member
5 months ago

Almost every country in the world uses military time... These people are brain dead

Aroace tiger
Community Member
5 months ago

I've known how to read "military time" since I was like 10

Cordi Schmidt
Community Member
5 months ago

In many European countries the "military time" is actually the standard time - phones, ovens, digital clocks anywhere in public places. Coming from Czechia but Slovakia has it too, and I think that Poland as well. Not sure about other countries but it's not that uncommon. :D

Jazzy Mc. Jaz
Community Member
5 months ago

I learned hoe to read it when I was like 14.

Ryan Michael
Community Member
5 months ago

...just subtract 12

Blake Ingram
Community Member
5 months ago

I set all my clocks to military time because it's easier for me.

Bernd Herbert
Community Member
5 months ago

So, everybody in Europe is a war criminal then? huh

Hans
Community Member
5 months ago

haha

Lauren Caswell
Community Member
5 months ago

I take two off the second number and ignore the 1. Ie taking 12 off but it's quicker that way for me when reading a 24 hour clock

Nikki Owens
Community Member
5 months ago

That's how I do it, too.

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Pippa Runs
Community Member
5 months ago

Military time is the only way to not f**k up your alarm.

Mónica Elisabeth Sacco
Community Member
5 months ago

WTF?

Daniele Ribolla
Community Member
5 months ago

what's wrong about reading of a 24 hour clock?

May Day
Community Member
5 months ago

Normal standard time in many countries...

Marie Drozdis
Community Member
5 months ago

Using military time in the hospital probably prevented many errors.

M Kate McCulloch
Community Member
5 months ago

lol - here in 'murica we call it Military time. Everywhere else in the world they just call it time...

Carmen Honacker
Community Member
5 months ago

Ha, this sad individual has clearly never left the island. All of Europe uses 24 hours!

Christine Ladyman
Community Member
5 months ago

The 24hr click is used in hospitals, too, what a bitter attack from she ignorance. Or was i actually not a nurse, but a war criminal, 😱

tom t
Community Member
5 months ago

Most of the world uses 24 hour time. I learned it as a child since my father served in the Air Force for 27 years. By using it you don't have any ambiguity of morning or evening.

H.L.Lewis
Community Member
5 months ago

Yeah, American, I've had my phone on military time since I've had a cell phone. Also write the dates on things starting with the day...never been in the military.

Miguel Denyer
Community Member
5 months ago

While it is called "military time" you are aware that it is based on the fact that there are actually 24 hours in a day, not just 12... right? ...and that since the military operates 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, it only makes sense that they use the 24-hour clock..?

Gregg Bender
Community Member
5 months ago

I spent a career in the airlines and my wife is a nurse. Both industries use the 24-hour clock as a standard. SMDH

Derek Clark
Community Member
5 months ago

Netherlands have a 24 hours clock, it's normal here. And I've learned the USA way of time since I have a lot of American friends, it's really not complicated at all.

Jen Cook
Community Member
5 months ago

Subtract 12, not complicated and going by this theory every nurse and doctor would be a war criminal.

TheCatasaurusMeowMom
Community Member
5 months ago

Former SGT in USAR here---I keep my phone on "Military Time" because that's what the rest of the world uses. If you can't figure out MT, or ACTUAL time in the rest of the world, you need to go back to elementary school.

Loretta
Community Member
5 months ago

Wait so Americans don't use 24h time? :O Ever?!

Stannous Flouride
Community Member
5 months ago

The military is just about the only institution in the US that uses the more logical (i.e, small to large) date format of day/month/year.

Robin DJW
Community Member
5 months ago

Hospitals have used a 24-hour clock for decades. It reduces med errors.

Joe Smith
Community Member
5 months ago

Hahahahahaha

Heidi I
Community Member
5 months ago

Don't most of Europe use "military time"?

Paul Z.
Community Member
5 months ago

😂

T.Milly
Community Member
5 months ago

My phone is set to "military time." It makes more sense to me. Plus, like the metric system, most countries use "military time." I don't understand why the US makes simple things far more complicated than they need to be.

Mallowmelt Tardis
Community Member
5 months ago

Bro, my sister is 14 and has her phone set to the 24 hour clock. She hates fitness and pretty much anything military-related. LMAO.

Blakkur Sverrir
Community Member
5 months ago

Does that mean you have to be able to count past 12 to join the US military?

Hugo Raible
Community Member
5 months ago

11 am, 12 pm, 1 pm. And 11 pm, 12 am, 1 am. But 24h time is difficult to understand. Sure.

Shinomi Chan
Community Member
5 months ago

I understand that just the same people use 4AM and 4PM

Everydayhuman83
Community Member
5 months ago

I am American And I use a 24 hour clock it is actually on right now

Hollie Marie
Community Member
5 months ago

The way I got taught is after 12 you count on your fingers so 13 is your thumb and so on

tail_bite
Community Member
5 months ago

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 etc 29 etc. i have proven i can count past twelve

Lu
Community Member
5 months ago

Imagine reading the time, and being up in arms about it. 22:00... I’m gonna lose it!!!!

Nikki Sevven
Community Member
5 months ago

Funny. My dad was a professor of foreign languages. In our (American) house, we learned 24-hour time; it's a lot more convenient than having to add am or pm. And dates should be written day, month, year! (Unless you're naming files on your computer, in which case, it should be year, month, day.)

Leeh Colorada
Community Member
5 months ago

I can't even understand what this person is triyng to sat

CatWoman312
Community Member
5 months ago

I’m an American and can read military time and I’m not even military. It’s sad so many Americans are ignorant like this making us all look bad as a result

Isabel Care
Community Member
5 months ago

Do any other countries refer to the 24 hour clock as "Military time"?

PurpleUnicorn
Community Member
5 months ago

24 hour clock isn't difficult, my son has Down Syndrome and has been able to understand it since he was 6. 1700 that means 5 o'clock

Jill Bussey
Community Member
5 months ago

Has this person never flown? Most airlines use the 24 hour clock; it's nothing to do with being military. Still, Americans are not known for their common sense.

cookie panda
Community Member
5 months ago

military time is a bit different and confusing at first, i get it, but JEEZ thats one heck of an overreaction

Bean flavored Fujioshi
Community Member
5 months ago

Me,who had a 2ds for so that i learned Military time:😅

SeidWolf
Community Member
5 months ago

Uhh, it's just Impossible to confuse for am/pm so clearer. Personally I wish the world would go to a metric time system.

Kristy White
Community Member
5 months ago

i'm British and never even known it be called military time, it's just a 24 hour clock

Jace
Community Member
5 months ago

It’s not really “military” time.

Marika Miettinen
Community Member
5 months ago

I learned "military" time in elementary school. It's just normal time :D

Nikki Owens
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

Plenty of people who are unfamiliar with military (24 hr) time find it difficult. This is not unique to Americans. I grew up in New Zealand & we didn't use it there.

Rainy Day Wolf
Community Member
5 months ago

24hr time is just easier... I think

Just me
Community Member
5 months ago

That just made me laugh way way too hard!!

Honu
Community Member
5 months ago

Mine's set to 24hr time because the data I use in my work uses standard UTC timestamp formats.

Ely Tanaka
Community Member
5 months ago

Military time? O_o

Roxy Eastland
Community Member
5 months ago

In the UK we just call it '24 hour clock'

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
5 months ago

Raised in a military fam. The 12-hour clock messes me up. All about your POV.

He Said She Said
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I'm sorry but this is incorrect. We can't count past 10 without our socks and shoes off

Sinkvenice
Community Member
5 months ago

Wow. Just... wow.

Michaela
Community Member
5 months ago

We should all use it. It clears up any misunderstandings of what time when people don’t specify AM or PM.

Rob Javier
Community Member
5 months ago

I work in healthcare..."military time" is essential and a safety standard.

Bow, I’m a Slytherin
Community Member
5 months ago

It’s currently 14:01

DKS 001
Community Member
5 months ago

lol true. Many can't even read a dial clock

Thi Ha
Community Member
5 months ago

They can't read analog clock too. 😅😅

Gegy Penguin
Community Member
5 months ago

WoW i N evEr kNew tHat TiMe CouLD Be 16:o5!

Sarah Grape
Community Member
5 months ago

ok, so anyone who actually knows miliatry time can you explain this to me why is it 24-hundred (5 syllables) instead of just midnight? (2) or thirteen-oh-4 (4 sylables) instead of 1-oh-4? (3) just as examples.....and I know the whole am-pm things messes the standard clock up, but I don't see how it's bad enough to make the whole other thing? respect for military and things like that but I just want t know the purpose

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
5 months ago

Puting this one right after the "I would rather be fed with lies as long as I keep my right-wing opinions" establishes a balance. Both comments are equally stupid.

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Dunning shared his impressions in an article for Pacific Standard: "In many cases, incompetence does not leave people disoriented, perplexed, or cautious. Instead, the incompetent are often blessed with an inappropriate confidence, buoyed by something that feels to them like knowledge." The phenomenon is known as the Dunning-Kruger Effect and most of us have surely encountered numerous cases of it in real life.

#9

Go To Panama, This Is America

Go To Panama, This Is America

Pontoisien Report

Hans
Community Member
5 months ago

I would be tempted to argue that THIS is the virtual, borderless world....

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#10

How Do You Prevent People From Jumping Off Like Idiots?

How Do You Prevent People From Jumping Off Like Idiots?

MobileTurdFactory Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

W H A T

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#11

“More People Use Imperial Than Metric”

“More People Use Imperial Than Metric”

Corporal-Porpoise Report

troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

So many (american) bubbles need to be burst...

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#12

“He Is (Your President)”

“He Is (Your President)”

meesseem Report

Joanne O'Brien
Community Member
5 months ago

Uno reverse card!

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#13

People Engaging Me In German Because I Look German

People Engaging Me In German Because I Look German

Mr_-_X Report

Marianne
Community Member
5 months ago

Hello Captain Obvious!

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#14

The Ambulance Is Not Your Taxi To The Hospital

The Ambulance Is Not Your Taxi To The Hospital

alematt Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

lmaoooo "sir"

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#15

Where Does It Say In The Constitution Or Any Of The Amendments That Eating Is A Human Right?

Where Does It Say In The Constitution Or Any Of The Amendments That Eating Is A Human Right?

Liam_Noble Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

w o w why am i not surprised

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#16

"More People Know About Our Smallest State Vermont Then The Amsterdam"

"More People Know About Our Smallest State Vermont Then The Amsterdam"

Particular_Edge2308 Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
5 months ago

"SHUT UP ! DON'T PROVE ME WRONG YOU FILTHY INFERIOR FOREIGNER!!!!!"

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#17

“We Will Never Rewrite The Constitution”

“We Will Never Rewrite The Constitution”

reddit.com Report

Gemma
Community Member
5 months ago

She seems to have forgotten the meaning of "amendment".

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#18

Your Haircuts Are Un-American

Your Haircuts Are Un-American

3Squareheadz Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
5 months ago

I do not get it. Is "un-american" a bad thing ?

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#19

Wishing "Evil" On A Country Is Pretty Mean

Wishing "Evil" On A Country Is Pretty Mean

genius23sarcasm Report

ITS ME AGAIN
Community Member
5 months ago

lol

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#20

Hmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmm

Classic-CJ Report

Eslamala
Community Member
5 months ago

Sure, just like "america" celebrates other countries' independence day 🙄

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#21

I Am Confused Is There A Rome In Italy?

I Am Confused Is There A Rome In Italy?

Singularitytracker Report

housea
Community Member
5 months ago

Wait until they find out there’s a country called Georgia

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#22

Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

Why Is Munich Spelled "München" On Signs In Germany?

Merlin428bretz Report

Marianne
Community Member
5 months ago

Munich citizen here. I can confirm that we do, in fact, write signs in our own language. We are crazy people!

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#23

“...your Hip Would Break Because Their Medical Staff Is Garage...”

“...your Hip Would Break Because Their Medical Staff Is Garage...”

ThatMusicKid Report

Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
5 months ago

I know people who have travelled to other countries to get medical/dental care because the air fair and other expenses plus cost of treatment were cheaper than in US. It is literally true.

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#24

Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

Do You Guys Have Refrigerators?

anotherwankusername Report

James016
Community Member
5 months ago

I keep mine on the roof as the air is slightly cooler up there

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#25

"Offended By Our Patriotism, Wattpad Girl?"

"Offended By Our Patriotism, Wattpad Girl?"

KWAKUDATSU Report

Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
5 months ago

America! We get our embarrassment firsthand!

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#26

The Titanic Is Just A Movie, Right?

The Titanic Is Just A Movie, Right?

unknown Report

Rick
Community Member
5 months ago

Canadians also think Star Wars was completely made up so I wouldn’t worry too much about what they think.

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#27

Can’t Compare Those Other Cities To The Us

Can’t Compare Those Other Cities To The Us

SokaKu93 Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

DID SHE SAY CITIES

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#28

“I Am In Rhode Island”. “Nice, Ever Been To The USA Before”?

“I Am In Rhode Island”. “Nice, Ever Been To The USA Before”?

reddit.com Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

actually i havent, whats it like? *obvious sarcasm*

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#29

Biden's America

Biden's America

unknown Report

Rick
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

*Random person falls down in Greece* “Biden’s America”.

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#30

"At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

"At Least American Toilets Aren't Just Holes In The Ground"

RogueArtemis Report

Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
5 months ago

Doesn't Angel Merkel just pee in the Spree ? Doesn't the queen's butler empty her chamber pot in the Thames every morning ?

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#31

What Does He Care? He's Not A Us Citizen, He's Not Effected

What Does He Care? He's Not A Us Citizen, He's Not Effected

sandiercy Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I didn’t realise that the US was global, oh wait, they do have the World Series which only the US plays in. so I guess it makes sense lol.

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#32

Would Love To See Some Of These Countries Try To F With Us

Would Love To See Some Of These Countries Try To F With Us

louckak Report

Marky Mark
Community Member
5 months ago

Who hates Greenland? And why?

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#33

“The White House Is Bigger Than All The Countries You Named”

“The White House Is Bigger Than All The Countries You Named”

theelleintraveller Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

how stupid do you have to be to believe this?

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#34

"I'd Rather Receive False Information..."

"I'd Rather Receive False Information..."

Theemuts Report

Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
5 months ago

My dad says stuff like this, but not as smartly.

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#35

Being Broke In American Is 100% On You

Being Broke In American Is 100% On You

elskitbbw Report

Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago

Wow, just wow.

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#36

Commie Divas

Commie Divas

Gerceval_ Report

N G
Community Member
5 months ago

Ugh, this doesn't belong here. "Soccer" is a British word. Yes, the Americans took it and ran with it (no pun intended), but it originated in Oxford in about 1890. Americans didn't invent it.

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#37

(Sad) Mistake A North Korean Flag For A Texan Flag

(Sad) Mistake A North Korean Flag For A Texan Flag

GriffinFTW Report

Gemma
Community Member
5 months ago

Plot twist: they're holding a sign denouncing Kim Jong-un.

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#38

But We Can Pock Whatever Doctor Or Healthcare Insurer We Want! We Win

But We Can Pock Whatever Doctor Or Healthcare Insurer We Want! We Win

Mr_-_X Report

Luther von Wolfen
Community Member
5 months ago

We can pick whatever doctor or hospital we want to be in debt to for the rest of our lives!

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#39

“They Started Faking An Accent”

“They Started Faking An Accent”

ArkhamKnight342 Report

troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

Some people believe that the Earth is 2000 years old. This one thinks it's 200 yo apparently

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#40

Why Do Brits Speak English, An American Language, Rather Than Speaking Some European Language?

Why Do Brits Speak English, An American Language, Rather Than Speaking Some European Language?

DasGespenstDerOper Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

oml

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#41

"[...]although My Ancestry Dna Gives Me Zero Italian Dna On My Dad's Side, I'll Stick With Being 1/4 Italian!"

"[...]although My Ancestry Dna Gives Me Zero Italian Dna On My Dad's Side, I'll Stick With Being 1/4 Italian!"

azulhombre Report

troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

Mom has some explaining to do O.O

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#42

"It's Amazing To See How Few Countries Know That "Soccer" Is The Correct Term"

"It's Amazing To See How Few Countries Know That "Soccer" Is The Correct Term"

Andros1510Ro Report

Star of the world
Community Member
5 months ago

ngl the russian one loooks like python

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#43

“We Savez Nations Not Destroy Them”

“We Savez Nations Not Destroy Them”

My-couchie-is-lousie Report

troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

That's so sad, really...

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#44

Is Mediterranean A Slur To Italians?

Is Mediterranean A Slur To Italians?

big-black-ramarro Report

Rick
Community Member
5 months ago

I’m actually going to start using this! “Ugh, you’re *so* Mediterranean”.

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#45

Are We Acting Like That's Not Possible?

Are We Acting Like That's Not Possible?

DoUEvenCloudDistrict Report

troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

New studies found that the Sun actually revolves around the US :/

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#46

"American Deaths Are Worth More"

"American Deaths Are Worth More"

zzvu Report