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The charm of the world around us is that it’s totally unpredictable. It puts us into the most unlikely, annoying, and challenging scenarios where we have to find our way through. And while some believe in luck, or lack thereof, others like to take matters into their own hands and use some pragmatic strategies. Like, psychological tricks.

And it turns out, most people have one ready when a particular situation strikes. From answering to “Why’s” in such a way that you redirect the question back to avoiding office small-talk so that nobody thinks you’re rude, to making yourself look like less of a self-obsessed jerk simply by replacing “I know” with “You’re right,” these are some of the biggest psychological tricks.

Shared in the comment section for the question “What is the most effective psychological 'trick' you use?” on r/AskReddit, some people seem to really know how to nail the mental game big time.

#1

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones My 4-year-old got into the 'Why?' phase a little while back. I read an article that said the best way to get them to stop was to ask them, 'I'm not sure, what do you think?' It is a godsend. They answer their own question, you provide some feedback, and they immediately move on. [Freaking] awesome.

AD_Meridian , Free-Photos Report

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Dynein
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also gives them a chance to develop their skill of thinking through a problem, and for you to guide the process and point out things they overlook or get wrong. Teach thinking and solution finding!

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#2

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones I work in an office. When people stop by my desk and refuse to leave me alone, I get up and refill my water bottle while they are talking to me. Instead of walking back to my desk, I walk them to theirs. They instinctively will sit down. Then I just sever the conversation and get back to work.

Electricpants , Andy Davies Report

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QueerTheory
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remo why are you so annoyed by this? Are you one of those who walk to people’s desk and refuse to leave them alone? 😂

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Lunaofthenest
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right? It's a perfectly polite way to end a conversation you're not interested in and doesn't hurt feelings or offend anyone. Why be all in your feelings about it?

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King Joffrey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or you could tell them "sorry, I'm really busy, can I get back to you?"

ngan_1 avatar
Flying Captain
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That would be so awesome if it worked with anyone :D Unfortunately it does not. I'd risk people gossiping about me not being social.

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Bettie-Jean Neal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you have RBF, like I do, people don't stop by to chat. But you also don't get invited to happy hours or anything like that either. Which I'm totally fine with because I'm there to do a job, not to make friends. Besides, I'm totally socially awkward and don't drink.

studer_sun avatar
René Studer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get it. You'd still have to get up every time and walk them over to their desk. When I want people at work to leave me alone I'm busy and don't have time for stuff exactly like this. If people stop by my desk they usually have a question or need something done. If I just escort them back and sever the conversation that doesn't solve anything.

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Molly Block
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it rude to just stand up suddenly and walk away to a sink/ fountain to refill your bottle? Or is this done covertly? I have never worked in an office situation, so I'm not sure. Do you kind tilt your head as if to say, "Come on, follow me, I'm listening, but i need a water refill" and THEN walk back to their desk and sever the conversation? This is sneaky, but brilliant!!

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Kathy L
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stealing this - in case I have to go back to the office!

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Katarzyna Lach
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did something like that when I worked at a shop. I used to chat with my clients a lot while they were shopping and sometimes they continued their chatting after they have chosen and paid for the items and I really had to go and do some other things, so I just slowly moved to the door with them and when they noticed they are at (or even behind) the door they would say "bye" and went out ;)

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Flavia Slag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to take out any chairs for them to sit in. A few would come in my office and make themselves comfortable and just talk while I was trying to do the work. It worked well.

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice one, but what if they get up and follow you when you leave?

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a lot of work to get people to respect your boundaries. I think have a sign on the back of your chair that says "CHAT STATUS" and then underneath you can put in a "Free" or "Busy" and that's it.

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Diane Crawford
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes a person need a someone- who has the spirit of listening and caring. I like the idea of listening- while still pretending to be working. Funny yeah. But, the action of showing you care but-is a special move.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your idea is respectful, kind, and one of the best.Controling a situation with a class attitude. We can all learn from your example.

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Ashley Wright
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You must be exhausted, running to the restroom every half hour. I’d simply say, “Let’s talk later.”

pacerthree avatar
Pacer Three
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this solves nothing. instead of wasting your employers time why not just tell your co-worker you don't have the time. and that way you still get to be just as rude.

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#3

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones When my wife is talking to a man about something technical, often he'll talk back to me. When that happens I turn to face my wife, which forces his attention where it should be.

stangelm , Julien Dumont Report

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A Cat Named Dragon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do this when there are two people listening to someone tell a story and, for whatever reason, the person talking is only focusing on me but I wish they would instead focus kn the other person.

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To find out what an expert has to say about these psychological tricks, Bored Panda reached out to Susan Petang, a certified life coach, teaching adults and teens. Susan runs “The Quiet Zone Coaching” and she has now prepared a set of essential life skills and solution for anyone who’s preparing for the post-pandemic world.

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When it comes to mind tricks, Susan said that everyone uses one from one time to time, even if they're unaware they're doing it. Moreover, “There are many psychological tricks floating around out there—I couldn't possibly name them all,” the life coach explained.

#4

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones To avoid workplace drama and be liked, compliment people behind their back.

Unknown , Free-Photos Report

#5

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Be direct and personal when you need things. Instead of asking IF anyone has an EpiPen, ask WHO has an EpiPen. Instead of saying, 'Someone call 911,' point to someone and say, 'Go call 911 and come tell me when they are on the way.

Polyfkery , Tony Webster Report

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Enuya
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, instead of "somebody help", try for example "you, in red t-shirt, help me". Person asked directly will be more likely to respond.

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#6

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If you look happy to see someone every time you see them, they will eventually be happy to see you.

2pass2 , Benjamin Linh VU Report

“One I use frequently (which isn't really a 'trick,' but a communication tool) is called reflective listening,” Susan said and added: “Often other people just want to be heard, and this tool provides not only that, but helps clarify information so misunderstandings don't occur.”

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Some examples of the reflective listening include: "It sounds like you feel...", "I'm hearing that you want...", "It seems like you're upset about...", "I see that you're feeling..."

#7

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Don’t apologise. Thank them.

When you’re delivering food that’s taken a while to cook don’t say “sorry for the delay,” say “thanks for your patience”

Saying sorry focuses on your fault. Thanking focuses on their good quality.

Conchobar8 , Sam Saunders Report

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Jessica Shookhoff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually do this with my kids when I can't get them what they want/need right away. It really does make a difference and reinforces positive behavior.

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#8

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones I currently manage around 240 people among six restaurants. It is often hard to get them to do what is needed. I have found that saying, 'I need your help' is effective in getting them on board. People want to feel needed and that they are making a difference. Expressing that need to them as much as possible makes all the difference in the world.

aaronmicook , Neilvert Noval Report

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Kevin Donegan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Identify employees to be in charge of certain parts of the process ... if the drink station is always a mess, identify someone to routinely check on it and clean/organize as needed. If you see the drink station in chaos, go back to the person you put in charge and figure out what the issue is ... if "everybody" in charge of something, then "no one" is in charge because non one takes responsibility.

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#9

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Don’t say “it’s okay” when someone apologizes. Say something like, “thank you for apologizing.”

if someone needs to apologize to you, then it was something that isn’t okay. my mom teaches this to her kindergartners and it really does make a difference. opens doors for growth and conversation too. “thank you for apologizing, I don’t like it when you hit me.” or whatever.

katiebugdisney , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

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H Edwards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless the person apologising really doesn't need to. As a Brit, I probably apologise way too often.

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In fact, “a lot of those little psychological 'tricks' we use come from our families. We either mimic what we hear growing up, or do the opposite because, as we are more aware of those around us as we mature, we find the way we learned to communicate from our parents distasteful.”

Susan warns that “if you try using a style or a trick that doesn't feel right to you, it'll come off sounding fake and manipulative.”

#10

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Instead of asking, 'Do you have any questions?' I ask, 'What questions do you have?' The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable asking questions.

MediocrePaladin , StockSnap Report

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𝕥𝕠𝕒𝕤𝕥
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2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#11

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Saying 'You're right!' instead of 'I know' makes you look less like a [jerk] and doesn't diminish something someone else may have just found out.

FantomUnicorn , Pedro Ribeiro Simões Report

#12

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones On an airplane, if my seatmate is hogging the armrest or being too chatty, I grab the barf bag. Works every time.

ab82bank , Frankie Roberto Report

On the other hand, one should use mind tricks and tools with caution since Susan warned that it is possible to do more harm than good with little psychological tricks. “For example, one little trick I read about is thanking someone for a trait they don't have. While that is usually very effective, it can backfire. For example, if you thank a coworker for being patient when she wasn't, she may think you're accepting her impatient behavior as 'patient'—and behave that way again.”

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She also said that “Every situation and person is different. It's tough to create blanket techniques for dealing with others that are always effective, so learning to read the moods and motivations of others is a great skill.”

#13

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head, it encourages them to keep talking.

unknown , Eugene Kim Report

#14

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones give kids 2 choices instead of letting them pick from whatever

you control.

could be 2 points of time. like "now" or in 10 minutes,

or do you want the red or the blue shirt on

things like that

works wonderfully. they feel in control, but have absolutely no control.

can work with some adults too

______-_-___ , Efraimstochter Report

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Amy-Lee Kempi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! That's a good trick! If you leave too much choice, they will be indecisive, but give them option A or B and it will be easier to choose and they'll be happy with the results because they 'decided' the outcome.

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#15

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones When I do something bothersome to my husband and he goes quiet, I wait a few minutes and then ask him a seemingly innocent question, usually on the subject of how certain parts of a car works. This gets him talking about the car thing and he rambles for like five minutes, and then, bam! He’s happy again and not quietly brooding. I’ll never tell him I do this because I’m afraid it won’t work anymore if he knows about it. It’s foolproof, though; it works every single time, no matter how bothered he is.

alskdjfhgtk , StockSnap Report

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If you ever wonder whether anything you say or do may harm another person, you may want to ask yourself a couple of check-up questions. Susan counsels her clients to ask themselves these questions when they need to decide what to say or how to behave: “Am I hurting someone else?” (Think carefully!); “Am I hurting myself?” (Think carefully!); “Am I willing to accept the consequences of this action?”; “Does this fit in with my value system?”; “Would the person I want to be (or my hero) do or say this?”; “Is it kind?” (Kindness trumps honesty every time—unless someone is about to walk off a cliff!)

#16

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones "Tell me about your day. " instead of "How was your day?"

I do it when I really want to chat with a person and not get the usual "It's been OK" then nothing out of them after that.

Heard it on reddit a while back and I am amazed at how well it works. You get some info out of the person that you can maybe relate to, or help with or share similar ideas/stories.

Shuski_Cross , JourneyPure Rehab Report

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Aurelia!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like this. When you don't say 'how was your day' it relieves some of the pressure to say 'good' or 'fine' and normalizes bad days. After all, bad days happen!

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#17

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones When I have something important to say to my kids, I say it very quietly so that they listen. They're immune to my yelling, but whispering gets their attention.

LastUsernameAvail , Thaliesin Report

#18

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If you need to deescalate someone and get them to communicate, ask them questions about numbers or personal information. I work in emergency services. If someone is totally distraught and shut down, asking their phone number, address, Social Security number, or birth date can pull them out of an emotional place and bring them back to a headspace where they can talk about what happened more easily. I often ask these questions even after I have the information, just to deescalate.

Orpheus91 , ernestoeslava Report

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Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my husband was mugged at knife point, he was too upset to act. I called the credit card company first, then got him on the phone to talk to them. Then I called the police, so he had to explain what happened.

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#19

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones At this point it's pretty well known, but Ive been using it for a few decades and has a special spot for me because I 'came up with it' (and was probably the 3 billionth person to 'come up with it').

Flip a coin if you cant decide something, and then follow whether or not you feel happy or disappointed with the result that it gives you.

Erudite_Delirium , Buster Benson Report

#20

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones I have a coworker who is an excessive talker. She has a heart of gold and means no harm whatsoever, but I don't have time to listen to her stream of consciousness every day. Anytime she comes into my office to chat, I give her a minute to get the gist out, and then I stand and walk out of my office. She always follows and continues yammering, and we walk right back to her cubicle. Sometimes I'll ditch her in the hallway under a guise of forgetting something at my desk. She hasnt noticed yet that I've been walking her back to her desk for months.

Tycho278 , vmiramontes Report

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kasa alex
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a coworker like this!! She is one of the kindest people I know, but it can be tiring when she get chattering

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#21

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Put headphones in and play the music that fits your hoped-for mood. It shifts me over to it mentally. It really helps when I need to calm down or when I need to feel happier.

sunflowersfornudes , Tal Atlas Report

#22

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones When you are standing in a group and somebody tells a joke or something funny happens, people tend to look towards the person they like the most while laughing.

RiDDDiK1337 , Eugene Kim Report

#23

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If you're trying to pick out dinner with your partner, rather than ask, 'What do you want?' and getting the typical 'I don't know, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down, start with, 'What do you NOT want? Used it a few times in some of my relationships, and it's the godsend question

FartKilometre , KaiPilger Report

#24

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If I desperately need to poo and I'm on my way to the bathroom (eg. driving home or walking to one) I'll imagine it in my mind as being really far away. This stops the urgency and I find I can get there calmly :-)

Funny1sland , Logan Ingalls Report

#25

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If you need to remember something, think about it while doing something noticeably unusual. This will pair the memory with the "something", so that when it is noticed later on it will trigger that particular memory.



e.g. I need to take out the garbage before going to bed.

Put your pillow at the foot of your bed.

unknown , Hans Report

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#26

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Making people think that you need them is always better than asking them to simply do something for you.

i.e: instead of saying: "Can you do this for me?" you should say: "Listen I need you help; I can't do this."

Makes people feel good about themselves and even like you on a deeper level.

Doctor_Philly , Nicki Dugan Pogue Report

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What's In Your Head?
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is certainly true, but please don't make it obvious that you're just using a trick on them. It would be nice if you actually meant it. I've been tricked like this multiple times by one person in charge in my first workplace. I fell for for it and felt incredibly flattered, but then I caught on and just felt stupid. I still do, and it's a LONG time ago.

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#27

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones Say hello to everybody you know, and say it with a smile. Just imagine: If someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthusiastically, they will think of you as a nice person. So little effort for a person to find you friendly!

sjuulbakkie , 818376 Report

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Bobert Robertson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hmmm Donny smiled at me both times I saw him, but both times he stole my wallet....I'm torn"

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#28

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones If you hand something to someone they will take it. It’s a lot of fun

surrrah , thanospal Report

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T.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had this once done to me with a baby... Her father was like: "Can you hold her real quick?" And I was so baffled I just took her on my arm even though I didn't actually wanna do it in the first place. Was a funny situation in the end.

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#29

People Are Sharing Effective Psychological Tricks They Use And Here're 30 Of The Most Interesting Ones This is dumb and shouldn't work. But I'm a bartender. And if I ask someone if they want another drink and nod my head at the same time most people are inclined to do it.

LeadDeathKnight , StockSnap Report

#30

Listen to someone without giving advice or asking for more information. This typically gets me more information than if I were to be pushy about it.

Drewby5 Report

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Dynein
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Vague sounds of acknowledgement are good, which confirm you are actually listening but provide no further contribution. Best if they fit the intonation and emotion of what was said: Huh. Oh! Oh? God... Really? No way! etc

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