Someone Asks People What They Think Is Easier If You’re Unattractive, And Here Are 23 Eye-Opening Answers
The gene lottery is a tricky business. You don't have any control over it, yet it determines so many aspects of how other people perceive you.
Interested in what perks come from losing it, Redditor u/trajop asked other people on the platform: "What's easier when [you're] unattractive?"
I guess this discussion would be a real minefield face-to-face, but on Reddit, where users are anonymous and nobody has to worry about hurt feelings, it actually turned out to be quite interesting and provided many surprising insights. Continue scrolling to check out what everyone had to say and upvote your favorite answers.
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Knowing which men are bad people. I have really attractive friends who men will put on a whole show and brand-new angelic personality for, but I see right away how they treat women they don’t want to bang. You’re not a good person if you’re only good to people you want something from. And sooner or later, the truth comes out for everyone to see
Getting old. This is the most important example. Beauty is fleeting, and I see a mental health crisis with so many people unable to cope with aging. What's worse is how it is even exploited
Apply this cream and all your wrinkles will magically disappear! Yeah, I'm not buying it. Getting old is human. Accept it.
Every wrinkle, gray/white hair, and scar is a badge of honor. As someone who is approaching 51, and has his fair share of each of those, I am embracing them all, because I have EARNED them, dammit.
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Just to be clear - the picture here is of a woman who is not old and not unattractive!
I would say attractive and 'aging.' There are obvious roots and wrinkles and skin spots and *THAT'S FINE*. I wish we wouldn't be so damn ashamed to look 40 when we are 40, but if you know the secret to this please share!
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And yet people still need to comment when you gain weight or look older. My grandma was telling me the other day how many grey hairs I have. Thanks?
Tell her it's very fashionable and you spent a fortune getting the grey as highlights??!!! My father-in-law has always been the first to point out if I gain weight (apparently I had been too thin). Not sure why he feels it's his business to comment in the first place.
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That’s why you should develop your mind and your sense of humor as well as your appearance when you’re young. Make it a lifelong pursuit, and you won’t have that difficulty coping with youth and beauty going out the window. Because you’ve already spent a good amount of time developing your intrinsic qualities, you don’t have to try and catch up to the rest of us when the mask of beauty fades away.
I have more confidence in myself now I am in my 50's (56) than I ever had as a younger woman
Seconding that. I have a super attractive frind who has been struggleing with getting old for years. For myself little has changed. I was always rather invisible, visually.
I never wore makeup (if you know you are ugly you are still ugly but with makeup on) I have very few wrinkles my hair is silvery white I like it. If you're ugly it ain't that hard to get old!
The best thing to do is to grow old gracefully (or disgracefully, as I intend to!).
In some cultures people look up to the people who are older than them. Why do we see being older as a bad thing.
It's because we equate old with redundant/past it/broken and finished. The west worships youth and has fetishised it to the point where in the modelling industry you're a veteran and ready for retirement if you're 25. Linda Evangelista was recently in the press for a cosmetic procedure she said left her 'disfigured'. Doubtless she needed nothing doing but such is the pressure to "not look your age" that it's causing turmoil - yet looking younger than your age can also bring problems.
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I would rather get old than die young. Each new year brings me surprising new things to laugh at. When I fall I call out to NO ONE - I'm alone - Help, I've fallen and can't get up. lol and I can't. It used to be so easy but when younger I wasn't falling over invisible things either. lol.
I was attractive and had a really good figure when young. Now I'm 70, and wrinkled, and fat has appeared in places it never was before. But I think it would be really strange if I was 70, and had no wrinkles and a perfect body. It just doesn't happen that way. LOL! (unless, of course, you're rich and know a great plastic surgeon!)
Question: Well, why don't you look at young as Celebrity X? Answer: Because I can't afford a personal chef, personal trainer, makeup artist, hair stylist, fashion stylist, someone to custom tailor all my clothing, and plastic surgery.
My more "attractive" older sisters are having issues with my not dyeing and styling my hair and just letting things "naturally progress". "My baby sister shouldn't have grey hair!" Eh, yes, but I do!
No, getting old is not less "traumatic" for ugly people. Now you're ugly AND old...
I am told I look much younger than my actual age, which is mostly good genes, I guess, for one thing, I have auburn hair, which is very slow to go gray ( it just gets mousier). I refuse to color my hair, I like the bits of gray I have at my temples, and I am proud of my wrinkles and scars. My group of friends ranges from 25-85, and among them, I have seen various levels of aging fear. Some are desperate to avoid it, some are OK with it, some are happy to have lived long. I think that it's attitude that's important, and I believe it works that way with attractiveness too. Among my group, one of the people considered "most attractive" is a woman who is really very plain looking, and no longer exactly young, but she's so vivacious and happy that people are just drawn to her.
I mean hell she's probably 40, so yeah super old I get, but why is she unattractive?
Being friends with the opposite sex. I love having some guy friends. If you're not attractive, you won't make their girlfriends jealous
Jealousy can make even your partner's lizzard friend look attractive.
Finding a partner who actually cares about you, not just your appearance
I think that it’s also because unattractive people on average tends to value looks less than other traits. I have met some gorgeous people that had such high standards that they never find good partners. A friend of mine is like that, he is charismatic, fit and good looking but he always goes for the guys for their looks not personality and guess what? Most are not suitable for him.
Drinking alone in a bar, undisturbed.
Nothing wrong with drinking alone. Sometimes it’s good to read a book and get nicely smashed in the process.
Being shy, when you're unattractive people will understand that you not waiting to socialize is just shyness but if you're conventionally attractive they will think you're arrogant for not talk to them
it annoys me that people interpret being quiet as either shyness or arrogance. what about those who just don't feel like expressing their every thought or emotion at all times? i think that shows real confidence.
Making genuine connections with people. Something about them not finding you threatening
As a woman who has aged out of the attractive category, just going through the world day to day has become so much easier and without the constant haze of menace it always did before from leers, comments, honks, grabbing, etc.
Bettering yourself at the gym. I'm not attractive but in previous years I made a real effort to get in great shape and I did (I've since let myself go, hopefully I'll rectify that but I did enjoy my time having a good physique.)
Being unattractive allows you to train without looking arrogant or like a show off. People are more supportive of your gains when you don't already look like Channing Tatum (I'm older, I had to Google "handsome male celebs" and then scroll through until I found someone who wasn't called The Rock.)
When alone in a bar, unattractive folks will know that a flirting attractive person only wants something from you, usually involves money
This may be unpopular, but — love. Everyone who has a happy love life I know is unattractive. Beauty attracts people who are only interested in your looks. It's like money. Real love and happiness are not related to money or beauty
Literally everything. I can go to the store without worrying that I’m going to be hit on or anything like that. I haven’t dated in 17 years, so I don’t have to worry about significant others or dating
I see a lot of down votes for the truth on this one. As a woman who was unattractive (fat) all through high school, I can attest to this. It was not as you think Adam C. It was very easy to get laid because most guys felt like Mile leva and figured I didn't have any other options so I would be easy(wrong. no sex is an option!) But as Brian Bennett said the people who were just as unattractive as I was but came from wealthier families had no trouble finding "love" (usually from more attractive people from poorer families). So don't down vote someone for saying something uncomfortable when it's the truth. The truth might be as ugly as I was in high school but it ain't a lie.
Being unbothered. If I'm in a baggy hoodie with the hood up and sweatpants, no one bothers me at a bus stop. If I have a dress on, 7 times out of 10 people either get too close or start chatting. My solution is just pretending I don't speak English
When strangers bother me I just start talking Irish, it's the only practical benefit I've got from having to study the Irish language at school. Ár n-Athair atá ar neamh, Go naofar d'ainim, Go dtagfadh do ríocht,
Being funny. Lots of material to work with
You betcha! I always used my non-attributes- to get a laugh and still do!
for women, being seen as who they really are. When you are attractive you get more harrassed, get undesired attention. But when you are unattractive people who want you actually want you for who you are, who you have become.
Honestly, not remembering people and getting forgotten. I used to obsess over this when I was younger, but now I just forgot about it honestly. I have met both very attractive people and very unattractive people, and to be honest I go by the old saying from my region (The Balkans): 'We are all bloody under the skin.' What makes me special is that I am not special, and when you accept that truth, life just gets easier because at the end it's your life and you are the one in control.
Ugly or attractive life is what you make it - the majority if us attractive and unattractive - are gonna be just as they used to say "common folk" accept it. Ain't none of us gonna get out alive no matter what we look like!
Not having fake friends
got one word for that Bullshit - if you are unattractive you surely can have fake friends by the bus load!
Dealing with people who pretend to be you friend but just want you in their bed or want to improve their "aura" by hanging out with an attractive person.
People don't bother you while you're out, sales people don't stop you to talk, you don't have to interact with men
If you are a girl and your interviewer is another girl - you will more likely be hired.
Firstly, almost every photo shows a definitely attractive person, and secondly the title is stupid because it's the people who are shallow and think they're attractive who have the problems, people who don't preen themselves to make a show are the ones who get through life easily, not necessarily "unattractive"
Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as attractive will be different in another.
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There aren't a lot of benefits of being unattractive except for not having to worry about being cracked onto or treated like an object. Instead we get treated like lepers or invisible most of the time. It's like we don't deserve respect or happiness.
Yeah. Like relatives or doctors ignoring the health problems of others solely for being overweight.
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This just reads like it was written by a bunch of insecure teens...as it's stolen off reddit, that's probably the case. I'm sure when they get older they will all realise that attraction is highly subjective and goes way beyond looks.
I was about to post the same. Being attractive is an aura of nice/funny/etc. Not looks.
Load More Replies... WTF Is this really a topic? Who decides you're unattractive? This implies you're to blame that the other person is a A-hole.
It does read like a bunch of good-looking people looking for sympathy. How unattractive would you need to be before no one ever asked you why you're single? "Sales people don't bother you"? You mean you can't get anyone to help you in a store? "Everyone I know with a happy love life is unattractive"! Wow. Either they don't know many people or they're judgy as hell on people's looks. Maybe THAT'S why they don't have a good love life.
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So many people assume you get real friendships easier if you're not conventionally attractive. But here it's why this is wrong. 1) Chances are high you will get bullied, therefore insecure, therefore your social skills will result underdeveloped, and to have friends, you need social skills, and vice versa. 2) Many narcissistic people will intentionally get to the less attractive ones, just so they can feel better about themselves, and just so they can stand up as "the pretty friend" who "is also, oh so kind, for being with someone 'as ugly' as you". So no, it's not about looks, it's about luck and what you do with it.
I don't mean to offend but there are scientific studies that show most people share a similar idea of what constitutes attractiveness. We also have a pretty good idea of how objectively attractive we are. Watch the Discovery channel documentary The Science of Sex for referenced material. Or just Google attractiveness studies.
Can we do a post where rich people talk bout how easy it is being poor? Lol
Exactly. This whole thread is just a bunch of attractive people humble-brag complaining about how difficult their lives are. The poor poor attractive people, just like the poor poor rich people. It's so much fun for your already s**t confidence, being told how great your life is because people treating you like s**t is a benefit??? Like what the f**k even is this post.
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It's been studied that stereotypically attractive people tend to have more success in their endeavors ... so what are the benefits of the un-stereotypically attractive people?
I don't know what it is, these people seem to have some unresolved inner issues.
This is really a terrible topic BP. Beauty and unatractiveness is highly subjective, and most people, at some point in thier lives have actually been both or neither. I have been overweight, eaten terribly, with terrible skin, poor posture and complete lack confidence which oozed from me like a bad smell. I was not what most people would consider attractive. I was, during this period in my life, also invisible, so I relate to alot of the posts, but it didnt somehow make me immune to bad friendships or suddenly funnier or more capable of loving people! At some point I grew a little more confident, I started pursuing my passions. What followed was a better diet, more activity and then weight loss and better skin. I was earning enough to get my teeth fixed. I was more confident, my posture improved. I didnt become beautiful suddenly, but I didn't ooze ugly anymore because I was happy with who I was and what I was achieving, and THAT is attractive to people.
Confidence is very unattractive, and only looks matter anyway.
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This post is so sad. I dont think beauty is as important as being kind, selfless, loving, ect. Beauty is only skin deep.
This is all bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Shame on everyone who participated and shared their own stereotypes and complexes.
This is such a sad and mean post. Not what I expect from Panda at all. The concept of "being unattractive" is in the eye of the beholder and the media. Everyone is attractive in different ways, whether that's inside or out. Unless you're Trump or the UK PM Boris Johnson. Then inside and out is just hideous.
A few years ago I was out with a bunch of teachers after a really really hard few weeks. None of us were interested in how we looked, no make up ect. After a bit, a group of girls came in all dressed up looking their best. Men aimed for the dressed up girls, i'd say attractive ratios were equal. The huge judging between the 2 groups was massive though. We looked at them like they were obviously stupid, they looked at us like we were poor and ugly. They were joined by someone i knew, and we all got talking - they were actually a bunch of new doctors letting off steam. We all had a great night.
It’s funny how in alien movies we always make them clones of each other. All the same. You won’t see the Brad Pitt alien beating up humans or their soldiers tattooed up with individual personalities.
Talent overrides looks in many areas. If Tom Brady was butt ugly would people care? Or did he get a leg up because he’s good looking. Lots of bull riders are unattractive but have to beat women away with their championship belt buckles.
In the case of media it seems to be a huge difference for men and women. Male actors suffer a lot of pressure to look like "Capt America" but you still see old, chubby and ugly actors. With women you never see chubby or ugly actresses and only the very famous get hired at an old age
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Just how unattractive are we going with this? The 10s of the world are what, 1 or 2% of society, people you rarely see in public but very present in media. So in a world that is basically made up of 5 and 6s are we talking lower? 2s and 3s? 1s never leave the house so we can't be judging 1s, so this list must be the 2s and 3s of society which is most of the population of backward western towns.
Being depressed is not a goal though, it being easier to be depressed is basically saying that people don't try to help you.
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"Unattractive" to who? Must we still be so programmed that if someone doesn't fit into a specific mold they have to deem themselves unattractive? I have a unique look and it took me a very long time to love myself exactly the way I am.
I've never really understood the concept of "attractive" vs. "unattractive", I have to admit. To me, everyone is beautiful. If anything, I find the ones who hide beneath mountains of plastic surgery and excessive make-up to be the only exception to that as I cannot see the "real" person beneath all that.
Having always been ugly, all I can say is : all of that was utter bullshit that only stupid ignorant attractive people could make up in their twisted mind.
I find comedy wherever I go! It's like I can see the entire world from a distance. And there is plenty to laugh at . . . women spend so much time picking out shoes when NO ONE looks at their feet. I LOVE being a ghost and seeing everything. It's a calm life. Saves me a lot of time for things I really LOVE! Travel, movies, costumes, and I only give advice when asked. Most people will never learn how much time is wasted on trivia. Aaaah, Life can be a dream . . . Sh boom, sh boom . . . when time-wasters leave me alone and hit on some young chick who will cost men a fortune (now or in the future with a kid) and I'm digging my toes in Galveston sand. And I have NEVER known a beautiful person who didn't complain about their life. Karma does work!
By looking in a mirror ever since I was a little girl - being quite observant I knew I was unattractive. But someone in my position realizes at an early age learns other things, like being more intelligent than the pretty people, or funny, or developing a PERSONALITY or being a bitch. May I brag like a pretty person? I have developed all these traits I got a man, excellent job and most of all Happiness! Don't mess with me pretty one!
Firstly, almost every photo shows a definitely attractive person, and secondly the title is stupid because it's the people who are shallow and think they're attractive who have the problems, people who don't preen themselves to make a show are the ones who get through life easily, not necessarily "unattractive"
Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person sees as attractive will be different in another.
Load More Replies... There aren't a lot of benefits of being unattractive except for not having to worry about being cracked onto or treated like an object. Instead we get treated like lepers or invisible most of the time. It's like we don't deserve respect or happiness.
Yeah. Like relatives or doctors ignoring the health problems of others solely for being overweight.
Load More Replies... This just reads like it was written by a bunch of insecure teens...as it's stolen off reddit, that's probably the case. I'm sure when they get older they will all realise that attraction is highly subjective and goes way beyond looks.
I was about to post the same. Being attractive is an aura of nice/funny/etc. Not looks.
Load More Replies... WTF Is this really a topic? Who decides you're unattractive? This implies you're to blame that the other person is a A-hole.
It does read like a bunch of good-looking people looking for sympathy. How unattractive would you need to be before no one ever asked you why you're single? "Sales people don't bother you"? You mean you can't get anyone to help you in a store? "Everyone I know with a happy love life is unattractive"! Wow. Either they don't know many people or they're judgy as hell on people's looks. Maybe THAT'S why they don't have a good love life.
Load More Replies... So many people assume you get real friendships easier if you're not conventionally attractive. But here it's why this is wrong. 1) Chances are high you will get bullied, therefore insecure, therefore your social skills will result underdeveloped, and to have friends, you need social skills, and vice versa. 2) Many narcissistic people will intentionally get to the less attractive ones, just so they can feel better about themselves, and just so they can stand up as "the pretty friend" who "is also, oh so kind, for being with someone 'as ugly' as you". So no, it's not about looks, it's about luck and what you do with it.
I don't mean to offend but there are scientific studies that show most people share a similar idea of what constitutes attractiveness. We also have a pretty good idea of how objectively attractive we are. Watch the Discovery channel documentary The Science of Sex for referenced material. Or just Google attractiveness studies.
Can we do a post where rich people talk bout how easy it is being poor? Lol
Exactly. This whole thread is just a bunch of attractive people humble-brag complaining about how difficult their lives are. The poor poor attractive people, just like the poor poor rich people. It's so much fun for your already s**t confidence, being told how great your life is because people treating you like s**t is a benefit??? Like what the f**k even is this post.
Load More Replies... It's been studied that stereotypically attractive people tend to have more success in their endeavors ... so what are the benefits of the un-stereotypically attractive people?
I don't know what it is, these people seem to have some unresolved inner issues.
This is really a terrible topic BP. Beauty and unatractiveness is highly subjective, and most people, at some point in thier lives have actually been both or neither. I have been overweight, eaten terribly, with terrible skin, poor posture and complete lack confidence which oozed from me like a bad smell. I was not what most people would consider attractive. I was, during this period in my life, also invisible, so I relate to alot of the posts, but it didnt somehow make me immune to bad friendships or suddenly funnier or more capable of loving people! At some point I grew a little more confident, I started pursuing my passions. What followed was a better diet, more activity and then weight loss and better skin. I was earning enough to get my teeth fixed. I was more confident, my posture improved. I didnt become beautiful suddenly, but I didn't ooze ugly anymore because I was happy with who I was and what I was achieving, and THAT is attractive to people.
Confidence is very unattractive, and only looks matter anyway.
Load More Replies... This post is so sad. I dont think beauty is as important as being kind, selfless, loving, ect. Beauty is only skin deep.
This is all bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Shame on everyone who participated and shared their own stereotypes and complexes.
This is such a sad and mean post. Not what I expect from Panda at all. The concept of "being unattractive" is in the eye of the beholder and the media. Everyone is attractive in different ways, whether that's inside or out. Unless you're Trump or the UK PM Boris Johnson. Then inside and out is just hideous.
A few years ago I was out with a bunch of teachers after a really really hard few weeks. None of us were interested in how we looked, no make up ect. After a bit, a group of girls came in all dressed up looking their best. Men aimed for the dressed up girls, i'd say attractive ratios were equal. The huge judging between the 2 groups was massive though. We looked at them like they were obviously stupid, they looked at us like we were poor and ugly. They were joined by someone i knew, and we all got talking - they were actually a bunch of new doctors letting off steam. We all had a great night.
It’s funny how in alien movies we always make them clones of each other. All the same. You won’t see the Brad Pitt alien beating up humans or their soldiers tattooed up with individual personalities.
Talent overrides looks in many areas. If Tom Brady was butt ugly would people care? Or did he get a leg up because he’s good looking. Lots of bull riders are unattractive but have to beat women away with their championship belt buckles.
In the case of media it seems to be a huge difference for men and women. Male actors suffer a lot of pressure to look like "Capt America" but you still see old, chubby and ugly actors. With women you never see chubby or ugly actresses and only the very famous get hired at an old age
Load More Replies... Just how unattractive are we going with this? The 10s of the world are what, 1 or 2% of society, people you rarely see in public but very present in media. So in a world that is basically made up of 5 and 6s are we talking lower? 2s and 3s? 1s never leave the house so we can't be judging 1s, so this list must be the 2s and 3s of society which is most of the population of backward western towns.
Being depressed is not a goal though, it being easier to be depressed is basically saying that people don't try to help you.
Load More Replies... "Unattractive" to who? Must we still be so programmed that if someone doesn't fit into a specific mold they have to deem themselves unattractive? I have a unique look and it took me a very long time to love myself exactly the way I am.
I've never really understood the concept of "attractive" vs. "unattractive", I have to admit. To me, everyone is beautiful. If anything, I find the ones who hide beneath mountains of plastic surgery and excessive make-up to be the only exception to that as I cannot see the "real" person beneath all that.
Having always been ugly, all I can say is : all of that was utter bullshit that only stupid ignorant attractive people could make up in their twisted mind.
I find comedy wherever I go! It's like I can see the entire world from a distance. And there is plenty to laugh at . . . women spend so much time picking out shoes when NO ONE looks at their feet. I LOVE being a ghost and seeing everything. It's a calm life. Saves me a lot of time for things I really LOVE! Travel, movies, costumes, and I only give advice when asked. Most people will never learn how much time is wasted on trivia. Aaaah, Life can be a dream . . . Sh boom, sh boom . . . when time-wasters leave me alone and hit on some young chick who will cost men a fortune (now or in the future with a kid) and I'm digging my toes in Galveston sand. And I have NEVER known a beautiful person who didn't complain about their life. Karma does work!
By looking in a mirror ever since I was a little girl - being quite observant I knew I was unattractive. But someone in my position realizes at an early age learns other things, like being more intelligent than the pretty people, or funny, or developing a PERSONALITY or being a bitch. May I brag like a pretty person? I have developed all these traits I got a man, excellent job and most of all Happiness! Don't mess with me pretty one!
