Guy Takes Revenge On Date Who Ordered The Most Expensive Thing On The Menu After She Admits To Have Been Using Him For A Free Meal
Back in the old days, when men were the primary earners and women were less likely to be able to pay their own way, it became accepted that the man would pick up the bill on dates.
However, these days, where a woman is just as able to pay her own way as a man, the practice seems a bit dated, if not obsolete. In some cultures – Scandinavian countries, for example – a man assuming that he needs to take care of business on a first date can come across as insulting and more than a little condescending.
Image credits: YourStickFigureFamilyWasDelicious
In the U.S. though, the expectation of the man covering fancy dinner still survives to some extent, leading to some awkward situations.
This story didn’t have to be that way. It was all agreed upfront that the pair would ‘Go Dutch,’ a very sensible and honest way of dealing with a fancy date. However, the sense and honesty soon evaporated from the situation, as it became clear that one side of the party was in it just for free meals.
Image credits: YourStickFigureFamilyWasDelicious
Image credits: YourStickFigureFamilyWasDelicious
Bored Panda spoke to Michelle G, a popular relationship and dating coach, for her opinions on this awkward and often divisive situation.
“Generally speaking, most women want men to pay on the first date because it shows his interest in her,” Michelle explained. “However, with evolving opinions on gender roles, this dating rule has now become more situationally-dependent. Here are my general guidelines around first dates and who should pay:”
1. If a woman likes a man and they’re casually meeting, but there is no real connection, she will ask to split the bill and pay for their individual consumption (“go dutch”).
2. If a man asks a woman out, he’s expected to pay. Women believe that if a guy is really interested in her, he will pick up the check at the end of the date.
3. If a woman asks a man out, it can go one of two ways: either she offers to pay, or they “go dutch.”
Michelle went on to stress that cultural upbringing is another factor that plays into the “who pays” scenario. It’s always good to do a little research! “Depending on where your date is from and how she was raised, the expectation may be that the man pays, no matter the circumstance of their encounter,” she told us. “This could be an uncomfortable situation with the potential to make or break the date for her.
The best thing a man can do is to ask, “how should we handle this?” once the check comes.”
“As a Matchmaker and Dating coach, I always advise clients to have their first dates in a low-pressure environment. For example, millennials could make the first date an interactive activity (hiking, wine tasting, etc.) to take the pressure off each other, and allow themselves to enjoy each other’s company in a setting other than sitting across the table at a restaurant or a bar.”
“My advice for divorcees, widowers, and people getting back into the dating scene is to ditch big dinner ideas and go to happy hour and tapas as a great first date! This type of setting gives the daters enough time to know each other with the bonus of not having to sit through an entire meal with a stranger. Plus, it makes it easier if they decide to go dutch.”
Great advice for your next big date! You can check out Michelle’s website for even more expert relationship insights, based on psychology and real-life experiences!
Here’s what people had to say about the ‘date from hell’
What does it mean to you? Is Going Dutch a good idea for a first date? Is going to a fancy restaurant like this a good idea for a first date? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!
Going Dutch means you pay for yourself, not split the bill 50/50.
I am Dutch. And going Dutch means splitting the bill 50/50, or at least that's how we (friends, family, former partners etc.) have done this.
Load More Replies...
Once long time ago, I went on a date with guy who I knew at the time was between jobs and without money. He insisted to take me to lunch an pay for all, said he wanted to treat me lunch in his city (we were in his town, I travelled). So I ordered one pancake and coffee and it was cheap and nice meal, and I looove pancakes.
I am so ashamed on behalf of female gender for such...... pricks. Where I live, all means are possible, paying everything (doesn't matter male/female), 50/50, paying for your own, depending how you arrange with the company (usually not before actually paying), but you are never to go assuming and expecting the other person will pay for everything, at lest I am very reluctant for it, I somewhat feel ashamed later, lol.
I agree. No one is entitled to have their meal paid for. Paying for someone's meal should be out of generosity and wanting to do so yourself, not out of pressure.
Load More Replies...
I think what he did was fabulous!! Her dad must have been so proud of her when he came to bail her out of the problem she caused.
As a Dutch person: yeah, we have the annoying habit of everyone wanting to pay for their own (exact) portion, even if we're somewhere with a large company. With good friends, we usually just split the bill evenly. Nowadays, we (at least somewhat younger people) use digital payment request (so one person pays for the whole lot, and sends a digital payment request to the rest of the group afterwards, it's less annoying for the restaurant/cafe than having to split the bill and let everyone pay for themselves... :P). For dates, I have no clue (been together for 10 years already. I guess there are still men wanting to pay the entire bill, and women really wanting to split the bill. But I do really understand he term 'going Dutch', it didn't just come from no where... :P
Dutch female here. If a man insists on paying the full bill, it will cause an argument with me. Happened with 2 guys I had a date with. Never went for a second date with either of them. F**k off, I can pay my own share. I don't need anyone else to 'take care' of me.
Load More Replies... I love these “independent” women who are dying to find someone who can take care of them. Let me break it to you ladies, NO ONE owes you anything. No guys out there are looking for a princess who wants to be waited on hand and foot. Get a job, pay your own way and get over yourself!
Men "owe" you the same amount of respect as you give them.
Load More Replies... That girl was a dirtbag and the guy's response was awesome, but seriously... who goes to an expensive restaurant for a first date with someone they just barely met?
I split the bill. I'm a grown woman. I support myself and I pay for myself when I go out. Isn't that what adults do?
As a woman, I will never understand the miscommunication from the woman's side. I'm always very clear and there are never any surprises. As a feminist, I also know (from guy friends) that this is purely a woman move. Not mine, but seriously? No wonder men think the worst of us. Men, please stop generalizing all women together, because, fortunately those women are the minority. If you keep meeting the same women, then you are the common denominator. The fix is within whom you are attracting, not with women in general. It is all on you.
In Mexico, most of the girls (30 to 40 yo.) expect for us men to pay for the diner and drinks, they never try or offer to pay a part of the tab. I also have noticed that younger girls (26 to 29) are more independent and they like to, at least, pay a third of the tab.
I was raised that "going Dutch" means you pay for your own bill. Not 50/50
Going Dutch seems to be used for both 50/50 and pay your own. I don't used the term - I specify.
I think this is positive. A person who had it coming got their just due.
Load More Replies...
Nah, this didn't happen. Just another woman-hating fantasy by an incel.
At the end of the day or night, dating etiquette is you don't go overboard with ordering too much or too expensive. At least, keep it equal or within the price range of your date. That's why it is always nice to have your first date at a coffee shop. If it was good, you can level up on your second date to some fancy restaurant.
It was my understanding that going dutch means you pay for your own meal, not split the bill.
The girl was horrible. But to throw out men paying for dates as antiquated is equally dumb. That was a test for me for guys. If they were not willing to pay for a fun evening where they were getting lots of benefits, then I assumed they would probably be turds and not poney up to help pay for all the boring expenses in life if we continued on to a serious relationship. I had no way of knowing except on those dates. If they chose to waste that time trying to be modern, their loss. How would I have know you would have supported a kid if you were throwing shade because I expected you to pay for my salad on a date you invited me too? Talk about a turn off. I've been married for over five years now, and my husband paid for everything on all our dates. Be beta all you want, but if your only chance to impress a girl is over dinner and you don't offer to treat her -- it's a red flag. And if you don't see it as a red flag ladies, you judgement is off. And no ..I don't care if you disagree.
Definitely dodged one there. But first dates should be a quickie. And by quickie I mean a coffee lol. Where you each pay for your orders, can have an atmospher where you can talk and get to know eachother, etc. Can't really talk when your mouth is full of food. And probably won'y be racking up huge bills drinking coffee either.
This might be a made up story, but I know girls (they don't deserve to be called women) that trawl Tinder to find someone to "buy them dinner". It's disgusting.
Think that upon introduction of self to another a being after speaking or communication with each other would pick up on another's energy and quality. He should have voiced his own objectives towards her and the concept of Dating. Where did you take her??? Assumptions from both parties, perhaps? Men of quality voice their concerns not leave and women of substance Wait or ask questions about the gut feeling. I would have suggested if I were the waiter: You get what you can afford, yet what is value from your own view? Tips lol
Dutch is where you split the bill 50/50. I think first dates should be loy key. No fancy/expensive places. Any person who would do this is fed def trying to get a free meal. Shame on them! No one should do this to anyone! SMH!
That is so horrible! Whenever I went on dates (long married now) the men did always offer to pay for the whole cheque. When asked where to go I always said somewhere nice but not expensive at all and I never ordered a drink, just water because I didn't want to be expensive. I bet she lied to her dad about what happened. Hopefully she learned from this experience!
Regardless if she meant 50/50 or paying for her own, she wasn't prepared to pay for any as she had to have her dad come and foot the bill. This c#nt probably didn't learn any lesson as this type ALWAYS finds fault in others. She will just focus on him leaving her there and not why he left her there.
I have no problem with what he did.... but calling a 15% tip on a $24 dollar tab "generous" seems a bit generous to me. It's less than 4 dollars. Plus the server has to deal with the girl and any trouble now
Huh I have learned something new! Peoples opinions of going Dutch vary. I was always taught that it meant you pay for all of your own drinks, food and the like. While the other person does the same. Merriam-Webster Wikipedia Dictionary.com Many more but these were the most credible. Say that each person pays exactly what they ordered(not sure what happens with tipping but I bet they tip on their own amount. Other sites just say to split... Forbes(says split the bill but in no certain terms so I am guessing 50/50) Cambridge says to share the cost of something. So inconclusive. And from What I am gathering from the Dutch people commenting it means to split 50/50. Honestly I also learned that going Dutch and getting a Dutch treat is an insult or was. So I think I would just ask for separate checks ahead of time if I find myself in the position.
Tipping is not a Dutch custom (we may round up to the next 5 or 10, depending on what was ordered, but we pay waiters well so that evens out) - so I don't think tipping was part of the original Going Dutch :)
Load More Replies...
"after she dropped that bombshell on me"--what bombshell? it's like he skipped a part.
Ok, i think if you read the first two tweets, scroll back up & read the first meme, and then scroll back down for the third tweet, you can get the whole story.
Load More Replies... I think it's fair to pay for your own meal, unless the other person has way more money than you. And then you let them suggest it, you don't just assume.
It’s not ok for them to pay your bill, even if they have more money than you. There’s no such thing as a free meal.
Load More Replies...
The first time I went out with an American I was majorly confused when he just got drinks for both of us and paid without asking. I only understood later that that's apparently the expected thing.
Sometimes people are just nice. It’s hard to find that in most European countries.
Load More Replies...
I'd just say f**k you in a tactful polite manner and leave through the front door after paying for what I ordered
As a slightly obsessive Foo Fighters fan and lesser Nirvana fan, I am absolutely horrified that some 'thing' donning a Nirvana shirt would stoop so low as to treat another fan, or any human like this. Greatest respect to your exit, Sir. I can only hope, as you left, the waiter whispered..."There goes my hero, watch him as he goes..."
Women do this all the time, go out with someone they aren't interested in just for the free meal. That's why you never go to expensive places until after a few dates.
When I was invited by my EX to the restaurant I was so embarassed for choosing anything expensive, I ended up with cutlet in breadcrumbs with potatoes and mayonase, and still feeling realy embarased for that mayo... and drink only a water... I cant imagine to choose something expensive
The story is still fun and has a nice lesson. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant.
Load More Replies...
And men think that if they pay for the date, the woman has to put out. I always had the means to pay my own bills. If my date offered to pay, I would let him know I could cover my portion. I actually had a man tell me I had to sleep with him because he took me out. Dude didn't even have a car. I had to drive us everywhere.
Load More Replies... Going Dutch means you pay for yourself, not split the bill 50/50.
I am Dutch. And going Dutch means splitting the bill 50/50, or at least that's how we (friends, family, former partners etc.) have done this.
Load More Replies... Once long time ago, I went on a date with guy who I knew at the time was between jobs and without money. He insisted to take me to lunch an pay for all, said he wanted to treat me lunch in his city (we were in his town, I travelled). So I ordered one pancake and coffee and it was cheap and nice meal, and I looove pancakes.
I am so ashamed on behalf of female gender for such...... pricks. Where I live, all means are possible, paying everything (doesn't matter male/female), 50/50, paying for your own, depending how you arrange with the company (usually not before actually paying), but you are never to go assuming and expecting the other person will pay for everything, at lest I am very reluctant for it, I somewhat feel ashamed later, lol.
I agree. No one is entitled to have their meal paid for. Paying for someone's meal should be out of generosity and wanting to do so yourself, not out of pressure.
Load More Replies... I think what he did was fabulous!! Her dad must have been so proud of her when he came to bail her out of the problem she caused.
As a Dutch person: yeah, we have the annoying habit of everyone wanting to pay for their own (exact) portion, even if we're somewhere with a large company. With good friends, we usually just split the bill evenly. Nowadays, we (at least somewhat younger people) use digital payment request (so one person pays for the whole lot, and sends a digital payment request to the rest of the group afterwards, it's less annoying for the restaurant/cafe than having to split the bill and let everyone pay for themselves... :P). For dates, I have no clue (been together for 10 years already. I guess there are still men wanting to pay the entire bill, and women really wanting to split the bill. But I do really understand he term 'going Dutch', it didn't just come from no where... :P
Dutch female here. If a man insists on paying the full bill, it will cause an argument with me. Happened with 2 guys I had a date with. Never went for a second date with either of them. F**k off, I can pay my own share. I don't need anyone else to 'take care' of me.
Load More Replies... I love these “independent” women who are dying to find someone who can take care of them. Let me break it to you ladies, NO ONE owes you anything. No guys out there are looking for a princess who wants to be waited on hand and foot. Get a job, pay your own way and get over yourself!
Men "owe" you the same amount of respect as you give them.
Load More Replies... That girl was a dirtbag and the guy's response was awesome, but seriously... who goes to an expensive restaurant for a first date with someone they just barely met?
I split the bill. I'm a grown woman. I support myself and I pay for myself when I go out. Isn't that what adults do?
As a woman, I will never understand the miscommunication from the woman's side. I'm always very clear and there are never any surprises. As a feminist, I also know (from guy friends) that this is purely a woman move. Not mine, but seriously? No wonder men think the worst of us. Men, please stop generalizing all women together, because, fortunately those women are the minority. If you keep meeting the same women, then you are the common denominator. The fix is within whom you are attracting, not with women in general. It is all on you.
In Mexico, most of the girls (30 to 40 yo.) expect for us men to pay for the diner and drinks, they never try or offer to pay a part of the tab. I also have noticed that younger girls (26 to 29) are more independent and they like to, at least, pay a third of the tab.
I was raised that "going Dutch" means you pay for your own bill. Not 50/50
Going Dutch seems to be used for both 50/50 and pay your own. I don't used the term - I specify.
I think this is positive. A person who had it coming got their just due.
Load More Replies... Nah, this didn't happen. Just another woman-hating fantasy by an incel.
At the end of the day or night, dating etiquette is you don't go overboard with ordering too much or too expensive. At least, keep it equal or within the price range of your date. That's why it is always nice to have your first date at a coffee shop. If it was good, you can level up on your second date to some fancy restaurant.
It was my understanding that going dutch means you pay for your own meal, not split the bill.
The girl was horrible. But to throw out men paying for dates as antiquated is equally dumb. That was a test for me for guys. If they were not willing to pay for a fun evening where they were getting lots of benefits, then I assumed they would probably be turds and not poney up to help pay for all the boring expenses in life if we continued on to a serious relationship. I had no way of knowing except on those dates. If they chose to waste that time trying to be modern, their loss. How would I have know you would have supported a kid if you were throwing shade because I expected you to pay for my salad on a date you invited me too? Talk about a turn off. I've been married for over five years now, and my husband paid for everything on all our dates. Be beta all you want, but if your only chance to impress a girl is over dinner and you don't offer to treat her -- it's a red flag. And if you don't see it as a red flag ladies, you judgement is off. And no ..I don't care if you disagree.
Definitely dodged one there. But first dates should be a quickie. And by quickie I mean a coffee lol. Where you each pay for your orders, can have an atmospher where you can talk and get to know eachother, etc. Can't really talk when your mouth is full of food. And probably won'y be racking up huge bills drinking coffee either.
This might be a made up story, but I know girls (they don't deserve to be called women) that trawl Tinder to find someone to "buy them dinner". It's disgusting.
Think that upon introduction of self to another a being after speaking or communication with each other would pick up on another's energy and quality. He should have voiced his own objectives towards her and the concept of Dating. Where did you take her??? Assumptions from both parties, perhaps? Men of quality voice their concerns not leave and women of substance Wait or ask questions about the gut feeling. I would have suggested if I were the waiter: You get what you can afford, yet what is value from your own view? Tips lol
Dutch is where you split the bill 50/50. I think first dates should be loy key. No fancy/expensive places. Any person who would do this is fed def trying to get a free meal. Shame on them! No one should do this to anyone! SMH!
That is so horrible! Whenever I went on dates (long married now) the men did always offer to pay for the whole cheque. When asked where to go I always said somewhere nice but not expensive at all and I never ordered a drink, just water because I didn't want to be expensive. I bet she lied to her dad about what happened. Hopefully she learned from this experience!
Regardless if she meant 50/50 or paying for her own, she wasn't prepared to pay for any as she had to have her dad come and foot the bill. This c#nt probably didn't learn any lesson as this type ALWAYS finds fault in others. She will just focus on him leaving her there and not why he left her there.
I have no problem with what he did.... but calling a 15% tip on a $24 dollar tab "generous" seems a bit generous to me. It's less than 4 dollars. Plus the server has to deal with the girl and any trouble now
Huh I have learned something new! Peoples opinions of going Dutch vary. I was always taught that it meant you pay for all of your own drinks, food and the like. While the other person does the same. Merriam-Webster Wikipedia Dictionary.com Many more but these were the most credible. Say that each person pays exactly what they ordered(not sure what happens with tipping but I bet they tip on their own amount. Other sites just say to split... Forbes(says split the bill but in no certain terms so I am guessing 50/50) Cambridge says to share the cost of something. So inconclusive. And from What I am gathering from the Dutch people commenting it means to split 50/50. Honestly I also learned that going Dutch and getting a Dutch treat is an insult or was. So I think I would just ask for separate checks ahead of time if I find myself in the position.
Tipping is not a Dutch custom (we may round up to the next 5 or 10, depending on what was ordered, but we pay waiters well so that evens out) - so I don't think tipping was part of the original Going Dutch :)
Load More Replies... "after she dropped that bombshell on me"--what bombshell? it's like he skipped a part.
Ok, i think if you read the first two tweets, scroll back up & read the first meme, and then scroll back down for the third tweet, you can get the whole story.
Load More Replies... I think it's fair to pay for your own meal, unless the other person has way more money than you. And then you let them suggest it, you don't just assume.
It’s not ok for them to pay your bill, even if they have more money than you. There’s no such thing as a free meal.
Load More Replies... The first time I went out with an American I was majorly confused when he just got drinks for both of us and paid without asking. I only understood later that that's apparently the expected thing.
Sometimes people are just nice. It’s hard to find that in most European countries.
Load More Replies... I'd just say f**k you in a tactful polite manner and leave through the front door after paying for what I ordered
As a slightly obsessive Foo Fighters fan and lesser Nirvana fan, I am absolutely horrified that some 'thing' donning a Nirvana shirt would stoop so low as to treat another fan, or any human like this. Greatest respect to your exit, Sir. I can only hope, as you left, the waiter whispered..."There goes my hero, watch him as he goes..."
Women do this all the time, go out with someone they aren't interested in just for the free meal. That's why you never go to expensive places until after a few dates.
When I was invited by my EX to the restaurant I was so embarassed for choosing anything expensive, I ended up with cutlet in breadcrumbs with potatoes and mayonase, and still feeling realy embarased for that mayo... and drink only a water... I cant imagine to choose something expensive
The story is still fun and has a nice lesson. Whether it is true or not is irrelevant.
Load More Replies... And men think that if they pay for the date, the woman has to put out. I always had the means to pay my own bills. If my date offered to pay, I would let him know I could cover my portion. I actually had a man tell me I had to sleep with him because he took me out. Dude didn't even have a car. I had to drive us everywhere.
Load More Replies...
207
90