There’s No Such Thing As A Stupid Question But These 40 People Online Just Proved Everyone Wrong
We live in a curious world, and there are a couple of questions that every human would be absolutely thrilled to know the answers to; where did we come from, how many universes are there, and is there a plan for us, or is the future yet to be written?
"There is no such thing as a stupid question" – a common phrase that suggests that just because one person may know less than others, they should not be afraid to ask questions, even if they sound rather odd.
“What is the dumbest question someone legitimately asked you?” – this online user took it to one of the most well-liked Reddit communities to find out what kinds of foolish questions the online members have gotten. The post has received nearly 35K upvotes and 31.4K worth of entertaining comments.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
One day one of my students said “Ew, I have to work today.” To which I replied, “So do I.”
He looked at me and asked, honestly, “Oh really? Where do you work?”
“Here...I work here...right where I am standing. I don’t do this as a service to your parents.”
I remember that as a topic of discussion in 4th or 5th grade. It started out as what do you want to be when you are older. Then, someone asked the teacher to answer, too. All hell broke loose as we realized that she wasn't there just because she loved us.
American: "Do you have airplanes in South America?"
Me: "No, I got here swinging on vines that hang from our trees"
“Don’t you find it stupid that Obama is the only president without a last name?”
Boss: "Could you print out that file, scan it, and email it to me?"
Me: "I could just email it to you."
Boss: ...
Going through the border -- from Canada into the U.S.:
Border Guard: "What's your citizenship?"
Me: [hands over passport, which notes my birthplace as Vancouver, British Columbia] "Canadian."
Border Guard: "No, what's your citizenship?"
Me: *louder* "I'm Canadian."
Border Guard: *yelling* "What's your citizenship?!"
Me: "I don't know what you're asking me!"
Border Guard: "Where were you born? Was it Colombia?"
Me: "British Columbia is a province in Canada."
Border Guard: *waves me through*
Is you’re a border guard on the Canadian border u should probably be remotely familiar with Canadian provinces
US Border patrol = firearm technician. No need for these fancy geography educations.
Load More Replies...
Maybe this was a test for you. He was trying to trip you up because if you were a terrorist you might have freaked out and blown yourself up.
What's the test if you're more in the drug "industry"?
Load More Replies...
I heard a story where someone from New Mexico tried to order something from a catalog and was told they only ship to the US
I am from the South Eastern US and I know more about Canada than that border guard.
Well heck. We've got Government employees who don't know that New Mexico is in the USA.
*facepalm* No wonder it's so hard for Americans to move to & get citizenship in Canada.
I have had no issues with this, but I have also looked at a map of North America before.
Load More Replies...
as in border patrol is stupid in theory (I don't really agree) or that it's stupid in execution (I really agree)
Load More Replies...
Dear Pandas, if you are talking about the country it is called COLOMBIA, not Columbia. We are not Columbians we are COLOMBIANS. We’ve been through this several times in other posts. Thank you 🇨🇴
A talk show once did an on-the-street survey asking how many states there are in the U.S. Answers included: 51, 24, 48, 76, 13, and "more than 100." I reluctantly confess I am a fellow citizen of these geniuses. So for some of us, it's amazing they've heard of Canada! By the by, I have been to Vancouver and it's a lovely city. Had a great time there.
Load More Replies... 
And confiscate certain Canadian-made foodstuffs. Hey, gimme back that syrup!
Load More Replies...
This is how every other country basically views Americans. They don't care to know anything about any other country but their own and they barely know that.
If there was even a tiny chance they could have been Columbian, he didn't want to lose the opportunity to abuse a Latino 🤨
My 40+ year old SIL with three kids visited me in CT and asked if New England was a state...oof.
Wow! That’s down right scary for someone to be this stupid but passed employment requirements.
I went to visit someone in Canada once. The border guard was upset that I brought my cooking stuff. He tells me that believes that I am telling the truth about cooking for the people I'm visiting but also he doesn't then tells me that they have people who look for people like me and they dress just like myself and him. I pointed out that he was wearing a uniform. So yeah he didn't let me in and I had to go the next day.
Oh boy. Even I know that and I suck at geography. And I'm also not a border guard 😅
It often makes me wonder what kind of stupid people can be handed a gun and several rights to suspend other peoples' rights in ... let's call it "some places". Well, there are about 190 other countries in the world, so I think I can just go elsewhere, where this problem may still be present, but by no means is there another country effing such things up so bad like ... some places. Great Again!
Reads to me like a test to see if they really were who they said they were. They asked something similar to my uncle one time. It's to see how the people react. People using a fake or stolen passport/ID are more likely to get flustered and give that away if they are asked something out of left field or something that seemingly doesn't quite make sense.
Quite frankly I'd be very flustered being asked something that doesn't make sense, stolen passport or not.
Load More Replies...
Border patrol agents can get transferred around quite a bit. I assume this one was used to working the southern border. At least I sure hope that's the case.
And that is further proof of how badly the American school system has failed...ouch.
Except the border guard would've been American because they were trying to get into the IS. Maybe he's just bitter because they done have legal weed?
Load More Replies... 
“Are you gay?”
“No.”
“Why?”
Hm I don’t know Jerry, just not feelin’ it today.
My friend once asked, “What if they made a sea world but instead it’s centered around the land?”
I responded with “So basically, a zoo?”
My wife at the time saw the headline “Buffalo buried in 5 feet of snow” (I don’t remember the exact measurement). She asked “Why don’t they just dig the poor guy out?” There was a picture of the city under the headline.
🤣🤣🤣I’m literally crying laughing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 but hey, at least she cares about animals
What nationality are you?
*canadian*
No, i mean, what nationality?
*ummm, do you mean heritage? Polish I guess*
No no, listen, na-tional-ity
*I don’t know what you’re asking?*
Whispers: Nationality, like, are you white, black, etc?
*just look at me, I’m white as snow, and that’s not nation...*
Cool I didn’t want to assume anything.
Having a conversation about traveling.
Me: I’ve always wanted to road trip up to Alaska and see the northern lights
Her: (looking at me like I’m a moron*) oh yeah? How are you going to drive to Alaska??
Me: in my car...
Her: You can’t DRIVE there
And then I realized she thought Alaska was an island... I had to explain to her that although Alaska and Hawaii were always in little boxes next to the mainland of USA maps that doesn’t mean they’re both islands.
10 years later I married her...
Awwwww that’s hilarious and sweet. I could definitely see how someone could think that if they never learned/realized it
My eyes are two different colors, and the question I'm most often asked about them is , "Did you know your eyes are two different colors?" I'm amused when someone asks me whether I see different colors out of each eye, or - even better - whether I "see in 3D."
Isn’t it a shame unicorns went extinct?
This person was an adult and thought unicorns exists during medieval times.
(I used to work at a bakery) a customer once asked me:
"When the bread isn't warm anymore, that means it's not fresh anymore, so I can have it for free right?"
-_- "no"
Not anything super mind-boggling, but I worked as a server at a infamous "Italian" restaurant during college. Here's my interaction with a guest one evening:
G: "I'd like to order the spaghetti with marinara sauce, but can I get fettuccine noodles instead?"
M: "Sure thing."
G: "Oh, and I'd like to please substitute the marinara with Alfredo sauce. And please add chicken."
M: ".... I would have to charge you for the chicken Alfredo, then." (Note there was a few dollars in price difference between the two dishes, Alfredo being more expensive).
G: "But I ordered the spaghetti with marinara."
I legitimately had to argue with this person for few moments as to why I couldn't magically substitute out the entire entree for a different one with no price difference. Guest ended up being super crabby for the remainder of the time and I'm fairly certain didn't tip at all.
A coworker at the library was asked for aerial photos of the Colosseum in Rome.
Before it was in ruins.
"So Trump is our president, right? Does that mean he's in charge of our state or the whole world? Sorry but I've never understood this whole president thing..."
This was asked to me by a fellow high school senior... in civics class.
If Trump was in charge of the whole world I would choose death. trump-phre...bebc73.jpg 
A girl asked me if honey came from bears. I’ll never forget it.
my own sister asked me how we were related to my grandparents
Not me, but overheard someone asking a restaurant server "Your coupon says it's valid 7 days a week, does this include weekends?"
My stepmom once asked if islands float around in the ocean.
My brother burst out laughing, and I just looked flatly at my dad and said, "You married this woman." We still give her grief about it.
If penguins need water to survive, doesn't that means they're fish?
What’s the biggest planet on earth?
I was weighing a patient, and she asked me if it measured in Celsius.
When I get weighed at the doctor's office, it says "One at a time, please".
Had a customer ask if she could pay her bill over the phone. I asked what kind of credit card.... cash. She wanted to pay cash over the phone.
On a ski lift
"At what elevation do deer turn into elk?"
How long did it take you to drive from Australia - *to America*? I've been asked this twice.
I wish I could say I had a witty response, but my brain froze as it tried to compute the stupidity of the question.
*ETA: No offense to Americans, just these two particular idiots. I've lived in the U.S. most of my life.*
Is Cherry Vanilla Coke made with cherries and vanilla mixed together, or is it made with vanilla cherries?
*vanilla cherries???*
“Does Halloween ever fall on Friday the 13th?”
Took my buddy a few seconds combined with our WTF stares to realize what he had just asked
EDIT: My bad everyone. Didn’t even consider the fact that other countries don’t celebrate Halloween. ELI5 Halloween is a set holiday that always falls on October 31st
My cousin bought a map from a nearby fancy store for tourists. After perusing it for no less than two hours, she asked me, "How does this north-south stuff work? The side I'm facing is north, right? And if I turn right, north also turns right, no?"
She was 20.
If you had a heart transplant, would your memories go away?
I used to work at Disney World and a question I would get on the daily is "What time is the 3 o'clock parade?"
Was asked to a friend of mine who worked in a book shop.
"Excuse me. Do these stairs go up?"
I wear a headscarf, and someone once asked me if I had ears.
When I moved back to Florida from Scotland a girl I was hitting on at a bar asked me how long a drive that was.
When I was in America in 2012, a man asked me, completely seriously, if we had cellphones in Norway...
I used to be a high school college prep teacher. One semester, I had quite a number of students who said they wanted to become surgeons. So one day I showed the class a neat video of a surgeon slicing open a grape with a scalpel and then stitching it back up with this new, technologically advanced pair of robotic arm things. The video was met with many oohs and aahs, and when it was over a hand shot up. I’ll never forget her question.
“What was wrong with the grape?”
(EDIT: Haha okay so people keep saying she was kidding, and the joke just went over my head since I’m old. Wouldn’t change the fact that it was a dumb question. Now I’m 99% sure she was being serious. That or she’s so good an actress that she committed to an entire semester of low grades and embarrassing questions and her friends having to explain things to her and her chuckling embarrassingly at her ditzy self. Now, I said ditzy. I don’t believe any of my students are even a little bit “dumb”. But the question certainly was, and I can with good conscience call it that since on many occasions she spent the entire time talking with her friends only to look up halfway through and just toss her input without gathering much context. In this case she looked up and saw people randomly operating on a grape.
Also, no, she wasn’t blonde. She had black hair. No, English was not her first language (which I’m sure contributed to her lack of focus in the class). Yes she passed the class because she was, in fact, a good kid and quite smart. Just needed a bit of help. She’d make a great surgeon someday if she tried.
One of my good friends builds computers. He sold me the components of his old desktop and he brought it over to my house so he could transfer them to a new case for me and then build his new computer. It was taking a while and my mom was agitated that he was there so long and asked "is what you're doing even legal?"
No....yes....no....yes, yes it is legal. Oh wait, it isn't. OF COURSE IT IS LEGAL.
Is that an uppercase "space bar"?
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
😂🤦🏾♀️ whenever I went overseas people love to show me how a microwave works, and ask me seriously if a lion gave me that scar 😂😂😂🤦🏾♀️ I live in Africa
I've had a few people surprised that I have access to the internet....I live in South Africa.
Load More Replies...
This is not stupid but kind of funny. When I visited San Diego, California some guy asked me if I was from Kansas. I‘m Swiss and my accent is pretty close to a german accent. We were both drunk at that time and apparently my drunk swiss german accent sounded midwestern to a drunk guy from california.
I work at a brewery. I’ve had multiple people come in, read the tap handles connected to the taps, and then ask if we had beer. Not a specific type of beer just beer in general.
I'm pescatarian and whenever the subject comes up, I get asked what religion that is. I get that it is not nearly as well know as being a vegetarian, but still.... EDIT: I understand that this isn't the world's dumbest question, but it does get old.
In highschool health class we watched a video about a woman who contracted AIDS and became a major spokesperson on behalf of others with the condition. The teacher added that she died in [year] and I, wanting to look like the smart kid who was Actively Participating In Her Studies, asked "what did she die of?" When everyone stared at me with "dude, seriously??" looks on their faces (teacher included) I tried to save myself by defensively adding "Well you never know; she could have been hit by a car or something!"
Actually not a stupid question. A person doesn’t die of AIDS, they die of something that AIDS prevented their body from fighting.
Load More Replies...
Wife of a doctor asked if there were rivers in California. I live in Alaska... tons of misconceptions especially that it is not part of the US, cold all the time, we have penguins, people don't live here...
College bf once called me up to ask why the "salty little meat blocks" I had brought over were making him so thirsty. Moron hadn't gone shopping and was eating bouillon cubes I left after making dinner for him. SMH
Oh, that brings back a childhood memory of seeing my grandma's jar of bouillon cubes & thinking they were a special kind of sugar cube. I got one out & ran outside to gobble it down, anticipating a blast of sugary goodness in my mouth. Wow, that stuff is so nasty, I was spitting & washing my mouth out for at least an hour!
Load More Replies...
A guy I dated once insisted - INSISTED - that my Thai ex was from Taiwan. When I said he was from Thailand, and that it's a different country, he disagreed with me because he had never heard of it. "Well, what do they call people in Taiwan, then?" He thought he would stump me with this question. "Taiwanese," I replied. I went to a diverse high school. He didn't. He still didn't believe me. Never saw him again, so for all I know, he still believes his own made-up version of Asian nationalities.
Young man yelled at a computer lab at high school, "how do you type roman numerals on the computer?" The kid was in the top 10 of his class and got 4 and 5's on every AP exam but lacked almost all common sense. He also asked why we learn French if the only country they speak it in is France. Had to explain Canada to the kid.
Er... not only France. Any French colony, like Congo, Zaire, Mali, Mauritius, etc,
Load More Replies... 
One of customers complained that he was told the task will be completed in 48 hours, while in fact it took us two whole days to finish it.
Like the guy who thought that a fortnight meant a night spent at a fort.
Load More Replies...
There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Just stupid people who ask questions.
So I was helping a Bulgarian customer and we only interacted in english. At some point I said something in italian to a colleague of mine (I should mention that I'm italian and we were in fact in Italy). Well, the customer looked at me and said "oh you speak italian" "well, sure 😄" i said (duh!) and then they asked me "where do you come from? Bulgaria?" Uh? I mean, we are in Italy, I clearly speak italian, what do you think I'm from?! And don't you think that if I was Bulgarian I would addressed to you in our common native language?
I grew up in Ohio. There use to be an amusement park there called Geagua Lake. We were in the car, on our way for a day of family fun. I sh!t you not, my step-sister asked, "What lake is Geagua Lake on?" My dad and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. She will never live it down.
Two questions I used to receive when I worked at a Turnpike Plaza. At Arby's -- "How many Chicken Fingers in a four pack?" And at the Starbucks -- when they asked what a frappuccino was, and I would say, "It's like a milkshake." And they would say, "Is it cold?". Oh, yeah, and I swear to God, someone once asked me what the difference was between our hot tea and our iced tea.
On a hot day, the iced tea feels better when you spill it on your crotch.
Load More Replies... Was watching La Bamba years and years ago and my date turns to me and says, 'I think he's going to die in a plane crash later '.
A girl on my bus was talking about how the school teaching us evolution was stupid because it wasn’t real and they should be teaching us the story of Adam and Eve because if more people understand “the lords word” then we wouldn’t have modern problems like homosexuality and liberal indoctrination and microchips in masks and vaccines. Ladies and gentlemen, she said that with a straight face.
And remember, that if you get covid vaccinated, you hate Jesus.
Load More Replies...
I work at a Giant Eagle and many years ago, an old woman picked up a bag of Granny Smiths Apples. She was looking directly at the label on the bag itself and then she turns to me. Her: Excuse me? Me: Yes? Her: Are these Granny Smith Apples? Me: Yes. Her : Are they (price)? Me: Yes. In my head: Oh my goodness.🤦🏻♂️
If she then asked you where she could find a potato, you could tell "right on top of your neck"
Load More Replies...
I live in Stockholm, Sweden. I've been told we have polar bears roaming the streets. I've even seen photos online. Odd that at the age of 58 I haven't spotted a single polar bear.
You're probably roaming the streets at the wrong time. lol
Load More Replies...
When giving my WiFi password to guests I like to see if they are currently paying attention or not telling one character wrong and after they complain not working ask if they "remember that numbers should be uppercase too"
Watching a discovery show about the oceans with my husband and in laws. We're about 30 minutes in when this woman stops like she's frozen and then says "but there's only one ocean!" I asked what she was saying and she explained to me in idiotically specific ways how the "ocean" was just one body of water. Mainly because they're all touching and therefore mixing with each other. "And you can't separate them". We all laughed so hard and I about peed my pants. I taught her about the oceans. Now I regularly ask her to name them. It's been goin for 15 years and I never get tired of it. When they added a new ocean to that list she was so mad. Lol
When I went to the states they couldn't place my accent because it was pre-Trevor Noah and pre-Charlize Theron. They were like,.... "London? New Zealand? ... Not australia, it's something else... um..." and then ... "OMG do you have lions in the streets??" sigh
Nephew(11): *banging on PC keyboard UP button while playing Minecraft* "Why can't I move?! My guy is just stuck and won't move forward, what do I do?!" *Still mashing UP button* Me: "Try moving left or right, not just forward." Nephew: *with an attitude*"How is that supposed to help?!" Me: "Well moving forward isn't working, just trying to help. Don't ask if your just gonna yell" Nephew: "Fine, watch!" *Stands up, moves one chair to his left and sits back down, slamming laptop onto counter* "See, how the hell was that supposed to help?!" Me: *presses left key on laptop. Fixed* Nephew:........ Me: *hugs him and walks away scared for his future*
One person ask me if a was blind (I have grey eye color) I was like no are you though?
People ask me stupid questions because I'm a twin. They are harmless, but literally it happens ALL the time. Things like: Do you guys play tricks on other people? (Guys, people get twins mixed up all the time- why would this be a joke to us? Think about it...) if i hit you, would it hurt her? Where did you guys meet? What's it like being a twin? (We don't have a point of reference) If you guys are A and B, and you are A..that would make her B, right? Do you guys read each other's minds? Can you tell each other apart?
Where did you guys meet? Uh, in a very small place.Kinda humid.
Load More Replies... I work on tv shows/movies as part of the film crew. People come up to me when we're filming somewhere public all the time. They see all the gear and crew and our whole setup and they ask if it's a local production. Like.. they see me physically standing there in front of them and they ask if we're filming.. locally?
Just tell them, "No, we're filming via satellite."
Load More Replies...
My sister asked if a fat person would ooze fat if they got shot. She is now a nurse.
Well yeah. Just like if I shot you in the head, you would ooze mashed potatoes.
Load More Replies...
This is why you need to pay attention in school. Not all the things you learn will be applicable in your life. But if you're going to live in this world, the least you could do is to learn more about it.
I worked in a bbq restaurant for 12 years and was asked twice, "what is the difference between ham and turkey?". I said (both times) ones a pig and the other is a bird and the 1 person that asked me said, "no really, what is the difference? There apparently is one, but what is it?". 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ They both looked to be in their 50s.
I used to live in London, Ontario in Canada. Many years ago a local cub scout troop hosted a group of cub scouts from Detroit, Michigan Michigan, about 120 miles away, and right on the Canada/U.S.border. They brought baseballs and baseball bats so they could teach the Eskimos how to play baseball, and at the border, they asked the customs officer where they could see igloos and asked him to speak Eskimo.
I used to work takeout at a local restaurant. One night, a kid in his early teens walked up and was looking up reading our list of ice cream flavors we had. After a couple of minutes studying it, he asked "Does your ice cream contain dairy products?"
I don't live in a different country but I live on a farm and someone asked me if I ride horses instead of using cars. Yes Joe, I ride my horse to the local store 45 miles away and back. I also ride my horse to school and when I leave early, its not for a dentist appointment because of my screwed up teeth, I just need an excuse to go churn butter. Just because I live an hour out of town doesn't mean I'm living in the 1700's
😂🤦🏾♀️ whenever I went overseas people love to show me how a microwave works, and ask me seriously if a lion gave me that scar 😂😂😂🤦🏾♀️ I live in Africa
I've had a few people surprised that I have access to the internet....I live in South Africa.
Load More Replies... This is not stupid but kind of funny. When I visited San Diego, California some guy asked me if I was from Kansas. I‘m Swiss and my accent is pretty close to a german accent. We were both drunk at that time and apparently my drunk swiss german accent sounded midwestern to a drunk guy from california.
I work at a brewery. I’ve had multiple people come in, read the tap handles connected to the taps, and then ask if we had beer. Not a specific type of beer just beer in general.
I'm pescatarian and whenever the subject comes up, I get asked what religion that is. I get that it is not nearly as well know as being a vegetarian, but still.... EDIT: I understand that this isn't the world's dumbest question, but it does get old.
In highschool health class we watched a video about a woman who contracted AIDS and became a major spokesperson on behalf of others with the condition. The teacher added that she died in [year] and I, wanting to look like the smart kid who was Actively Participating In Her Studies, asked "what did she die of?" When everyone stared at me with "dude, seriously??" looks on their faces (teacher included) I tried to save myself by defensively adding "Well you never know; she could have been hit by a car or something!"
Actually not a stupid question. A person doesn’t die of AIDS, they die of something that AIDS prevented their body from fighting.
Load More Replies... Wife of a doctor asked if there were rivers in California. I live in Alaska... tons of misconceptions especially that it is not part of the US, cold all the time, we have penguins, people don't live here...
College bf once called me up to ask why the "salty little meat blocks" I had brought over were making him so thirsty. Moron hadn't gone shopping and was eating bouillon cubes I left after making dinner for him. SMH
Oh, that brings back a childhood memory of seeing my grandma's jar of bouillon cubes & thinking they were a special kind of sugar cube. I got one out & ran outside to gobble it down, anticipating a blast of sugary goodness in my mouth. Wow, that stuff is so nasty, I was spitting & washing my mouth out for at least an hour!
Load More Replies... A guy I dated once insisted - INSISTED - that my Thai ex was from Taiwan. When I said he was from Thailand, and that it's a different country, he disagreed with me because he had never heard of it. "Well, what do they call people in Taiwan, then?" He thought he would stump me with this question. "Taiwanese," I replied. I went to a diverse high school. He didn't. He still didn't believe me. Never saw him again, so for all I know, he still believes his own made-up version of Asian nationalities.
Young man yelled at a computer lab at high school, "how do you type roman numerals on the computer?" The kid was in the top 10 of his class and got 4 and 5's on every AP exam but lacked almost all common sense. He also asked why we learn French if the only country they speak it in is France. Had to explain Canada to the kid.
Er... not only France. Any French colony, like Congo, Zaire, Mali, Mauritius, etc,
Load More Replies... One of customers complained that he was told the task will be completed in 48 hours, while in fact it took us two whole days to finish it.
Like the guy who thought that a fortnight meant a night spent at a fort.
Load More Replies... There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Just stupid people who ask questions.
So I was helping a Bulgarian customer and we only interacted in english. At some point I said something in italian to a colleague of mine (I should mention that I'm italian and we were in fact in Italy). Well, the customer looked at me and said "oh you speak italian" "well, sure 😄" i said (duh!) and then they asked me "where do you come from? Bulgaria?" Uh? I mean, we are in Italy, I clearly speak italian, what do you think I'm from?! And don't you think that if I was Bulgarian I would addressed to you in our common native language?
I grew up in Ohio. There use to be an amusement park there called Geagua Lake. We were in the car, on our way for a day of family fun. I sh!t you not, my step-sister asked, "What lake is Geagua Lake on?" My dad and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. She will never live it down.
Two questions I used to receive when I worked at a Turnpike Plaza. At Arby's -- "How many Chicken Fingers in a four pack?" And at the Starbucks -- when they asked what a frappuccino was, and I would say, "It's like a milkshake." And they would say, "Is it cold?". Oh, yeah, and I swear to God, someone once asked me what the difference was between our hot tea and our iced tea.
On a hot day, the iced tea feels better when you spill it on your crotch.
Load More Replies... Was watching La Bamba years and years ago and my date turns to me and says, 'I think he's going to die in a plane crash later '.
A girl on my bus was talking about how the school teaching us evolution was stupid because it wasn’t real and they should be teaching us the story of Adam and Eve because if more people understand “the lords word” then we wouldn’t have modern problems like homosexuality and liberal indoctrination and microchips in masks and vaccines. Ladies and gentlemen, she said that with a straight face.
And remember, that if you get covid vaccinated, you hate Jesus.
Load More Replies... I work at a Giant Eagle and many years ago, an old woman picked up a bag of Granny Smiths Apples. She was looking directly at the label on the bag itself and then she turns to me. Her: Excuse me? Me: Yes? Her: Are these Granny Smith Apples? Me: Yes. Her : Are they (price)? Me: Yes. In my head: Oh my goodness.🤦🏻♂️
If she then asked you where she could find a potato, you could tell "right on top of your neck"
Load More Replies... I live in Stockholm, Sweden. I've been told we have polar bears roaming the streets. I've even seen photos online. Odd that at the age of 58 I haven't spotted a single polar bear.
You're probably roaming the streets at the wrong time. lol
Load More Replies... When giving my WiFi password to guests I like to see if they are currently paying attention or not telling one character wrong and after they complain not working ask if they "remember that numbers should be uppercase too"
Watching a discovery show about the oceans with my husband and in laws. We're about 30 minutes in when this woman stops like she's frozen and then says "but there's only one ocean!" I asked what she was saying and she explained to me in idiotically specific ways how the "ocean" was just one body of water. Mainly because they're all touching and therefore mixing with each other. "And you can't separate them". We all laughed so hard and I about peed my pants. I taught her about the oceans. Now I regularly ask her to name them. It's been goin for 15 years and I never get tired of it. When they added a new ocean to that list she was so mad. Lol
When I went to the states they couldn't place my accent because it was pre-Trevor Noah and pre-Charlize Theron. They were like,.... "London? New Zealand? ... Not australia, it's something else... um..." and then ... "OMG do you have lions in the streets??" sigh
Nephew(11): *banging on PC keyboard UP button while playing Minecraft* "Why can't I move?! My guy is just stuck and won't move forward, what do I do?!" *Still mashing UP button* Me: "Try moving left or right, not just forward." Nephew: *with an attitude*"How is that supposed to help?!" Me: "Well moving forward isn't working, just trying to help. Don't ask if your just gonna yell" Nephew: "Fine, watch!" *Stands up, moves one chair to his left and sits back down, slamming laptop onto counter* "See, how the hell was that supposed to help?!" Me: *presses left key on laptop. Fixed* Nephew:........ Me: *hugs him and walks away scared for his future*
One person ask me if a was blind (I have grey eye color) I was like no are you though?
People ask me stupid questions because I'm a twin. They are harmless, but literally it happens ALL the time. Things like: Do you guys play tricks on other people? (Guys, people get twins mixed up all the time- why would this be a joke to us? Think about it...) if i hit you, would it hurt her? Where did you guys meet? What's it like being a twin? (We don't have a point of reference) If you guys are A and B, and you are A..that would make her B, right? Do you guys read each other's minds? Can you tell each other apart?
Where did you guys meet? Uh, in a very small place.Kinda humid.
Load More Replies... I work on tv shows/movies as part of the film crew. People come up to me when we're filming somewhere public all the time. They see all the gear and crew and our whole setup and they ask if it's a local production. Like.. they see me physically standing there in front of them and they ask if we're filming.. locally?
Just tell them, "No, we're filming via satellite."
Load More Replies... My sister asked if a fat person would ooze fat if they got shot. She is now a nurse.
Well yeah. Just like if I shot you in the head, you would ooze mashed potatoes.
Load More Replies... This is why you need to pay attention in school. Not all the things you learn will be applicable in your life. But if you're going to live in this world, the least you could do is to learn more about it.
I worked in a bbq restaurant for 12 years and was asked twice, "what is the difference between ham and turkey?". I said (both times) ones a pig and the other is a bird and the 1 person that asked me said, "no really, what is the difference? There apparently is one, but what is it?". 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ They both looked to be in their 50s.
I used to live in London, Ontario in Canada. Many years ago a local cub scout troop hosted a group of cub scouts from Detroit, Michigan Michigan, about 120 miles away, and right on the Canada/U.S.border. They brought baseballs and baseball bats so they could teach the Eskimos how to play baseball, and at the border, they asked the customs officer where they could see igloos and asked him to speak Eskimo.
I used to work takeout at a local restaurant. One night, a kid in his early teens walked up and was looking up reading our list of ice cream flavors we had. After a couple of minutes studying it, he asked "Does your ice cream contain dairy products?"
I don't live in a different country but I live on a farm and someone asked me if I ride horses instead of using cars. Yes Joe, I ride my horse to the local store 45 miles away and back. I also ride my horse to school and when I leave early, its not for a dentist appointment because of my screwed up teeth, I just need an excuse to go churn butter. Just because I live an hour out of town doesn't mean I'm living in the 1700's
