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Let’s face it, parenting is one of the biggest challenges that we’ll ever have to face in our lives. It’s right up there alongside fighting off an alien invasion, surviving a zombie apocalypse, rocket science, and plugging in a USB cable on the first try. So it’s no wonder that most parents are less than perfect. In fact, it’s pretty much the norm.

However, they’re nowhere near the level that some of the parents featured on the ‘Parents Are Effing Dumb’ subreddit are. There, you’ll find some of the biggest fails that will make you gasp, shout “think of the children!”, and think about taking these people’s parenting license away. Remember to buckle up and upvote the pics that made your jaw drop as you scroll down the rollercoaster that is this descent into parenting weirdness.

When it comes to parenting, both extremes—absolute perfectionism/trying to be a ‘perfect’ parent and not trying hard enough—can be harmful to the family. And while it’s very clear what bad parenting is, perfectionism is more insidious and sneaky and can actually end up being just as harmful as actual neglect or ignorance, though in a very different way. We spoke about the pitfalls of this with an expert in the field of psychology.

#1

I'm Sorry, What??

I'm Sorry, What??

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#3

My Family Does This To Me All The Time, And Each Time I Tell Them It Discourages Me But They Still Do It

My Family Does This To Me All The Time, And Each Time I Tell Them It Discourages Me But They Still Do It

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Konpat
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents excelled at this behaviour. Makes you feel that nothing you ever do is right or good enough

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Emma Morton, a researcher at the University of British Columbia, explained to Bored Panda the pitfalls of perfectionist thinking and how it spreads to many areas of a person’s life, contributing to poor mental health and even depression.

Believing that you should (or even that you can) be a so-called ‘perfect’ parent is actually detrimental to your health. What’s more, the belief that you can control every single outcome can spread to other areas of your life, not just parenting.

#5

And I Know That From Home

And I Know That From Home

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And how to use your mother's makeup to hide the bruises

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Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you hit your kid, the only thing you're teaching them is to be afraid of you.

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Just a girl with a brain
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m a really good liar because of my parents but they can’t tell when I’m telling the truth so I get blamed for things I didn’t do

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Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds as if the text is describing parents who are strict about everything because they don't want to deal with anything inconvenient. This is different from some parents I've known who might be strict about certain things (such doing homework and doing their share of chores, because that helps them with their futures) but very open about others (their children are allowed to speak their minds because the parents want communication).

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Clearly sunny
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. Kinda like the be polite etc etc kinda rules But those make a child scared of us! That's just beyond.

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athornedrose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to lie effectively, how to cry silently, how to hide anything you're feeling

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Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sad but true. Example from my personal experience - making me go to bed early taught me how to secretly get up and do stuff in "stealth mode", read with a flashlight, etc. Most prohibitions teach children how to cover their tracks, not to avoid doing the thing.

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Kirra's Aquatics
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

taught me how to watch tv on my laptop (surprised i’m even allowed to have it in my room at night) and hide it in the crack of my bed the second i hear footsteps

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Smelli Mel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to have low self esteem and become a people pleaser because you're scared to disagree with anyone.

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The Chosen One
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THAT'S SO TRUE! I LEARNED HOW TO DO ALL THAT!! Except for the manipulate someone into calming down one, I haven't learned that one yet

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Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But also how to hide everything you do from them, so when you are really in trouble, you are in the middle of Bumf*ck and realise no one knows where you are and there is likely no help coming....

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deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My godbrother freaked out the first time he spilled something in my parents' house. He thought that he was going to be in so much trouble because that's what happened when he lived with his parents.

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Imheresometimes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t get in trouble for this, then again my parents don’t know when I spill something, I clean it up right away. Still, that’s trauma!

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Steve Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When we were kids my mom would preach “if you want to do something ask my permission first”. We learned quickly that when the answer was “no” 100% of the time it was downright stupid to ask her first. She had absolutely no idea what kind of crazy s**t my brother & I did.

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~Ella Cipher~
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned what my families foot step patterns were by the age of 7. I was able to lie on the spot when I was 10. I only learned those because I read past bedrime, and I didnt do my homework. still not sure if they are strict or not.

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VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a reading kindle, and naturally mom doesn’t want me staying up till 11 reading. What I actually do is listen for footsteps and noise (which is hard because I’m a pretty specific sleeper it can’t be too loud or too quiet) and at the first sign of someone coming into my room I close the kindle and pretend to be alseep

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not your average weirdo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(My parents are just strict not abusive)I learned those things when I was really young and I never thought there was anything wrong with it...

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Miraculous Klutz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is true. They also teach you how to always please people at your own expense, be absolutely silent at all times, and to fear the smell of alcohol, and raised voices. Although they really have taught me how to hide stuff properly, an actually useful skill. They also have taught my sister and I the exact safe amount to say which doesn’t get them reported to CPS, however when it does happen nothing ever happens, only my sis and I get in more trouble. Yeash.

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Clearly sunny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This can't be what we all teach our kids when it's sit quietly please? Like sometimes you need to learn patience!!

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Clearly sunny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an easy going parent, but the like okay please act nicely isn't going to make me a bad parent!

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*me*
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can do that and my parents are really good at parenting

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Gin
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny thing is, many parents know when their kids lie (talking about ordinary non-abusive relationships) but they don't always let on to the child.

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Lex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get overly strict parents. Of course, you shouldn't be to laid back, but you shouldn't be so strict that your kids are afraid of you.

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Debbie Diskey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a big difference between spankings and abuse. Todays kids are nowhere near spanked enough

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Janet C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom could spot a lie from a mile away. I got VERY good at telling a truth. It was not THE truth, but it was true enough that I was not lying. For example, went "parking" with my boyfriend when we were teens. Before going home, we drove to the church and circled the parking lot, drove to McDonald's and briefly parked there, then drove by my friend Sue's house. When Mom asked where we'd been and what we'd been doing, I said, "We went by the church, we stopped at McDonald's, then we went by Sue's." It was all true. She was satisfied. Had she followed up with, "Did you go inside any of those places?" I'd have been in trouble. LOL

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Neha Thangavelu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They also teach you how to be extra sneaky and get rid of all evidence of something

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Rainy Day Wolf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was conditioned to be cynical and just take the punishment and literally never learn to defend myself or try to avoid anything... my mom is a narcisist

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Experimental Scientist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, all four of these things are good things to know to succeed in the usual office workplace.

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Judit Hajdu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope they will practice that on their aging parents when they grow up

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Memere
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And how to tiptoe through the house without being heard. I can still move from room to room & my husband doesn't hear me moving at all!

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Amanda Hunter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting, my ex lied all the time and had strict parents, and he was into blaming.

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Fred Burrows
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to use bible verses to spin your side of a creative difference.

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Edgar Rops
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the more progressive ones teach you that bribery is ok, that love is measured in the value of toys. Balance, people, balance

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Celesta
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a HUGE damn difference between "strict" and abusive. My mom was strick. I had curfews and wasn't banned from watching a ton of ridiculously innocent shows (like Sabrina and Sailor moon as a TEENAGER) But she NEVER raised her hand to me or made me afraid to tell her ANYTHING. These assholes described are ABUSIVE and kids need to be aware of the difference.

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Nikki Owens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is not strict parents but harsh/overstrict parents.

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Sébastien Roger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t confuse strict parents and abusive one. You can be strict without touching your kids

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Rannveig Ess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think there's a diff between "strict" and "abusive", tho. I know many parent's who are "strict" but do it with love, reasoning and try to teach the motives and consequences behind things. I envy the calm behind learning how to cope and figure things out. Abusive upbringing is learning how to be hyperaware, mistrusting and sometimes continue that toxicity onto yourself even when your parents are long gone.

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Yort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of those are excellent life skills if you want to work in most fields, though.

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Ivy la Sangrienta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to listen to footsteps too, but it's just so my son doesn't find my candy stash...

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Noelle Morrison
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YEP!!!!!!!!!! Truer words have never been said! (I realize I say this to a lot of other posts, but I don't really care.)

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Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was very strict and my dad was less so (I was my moms first child and my dads fourth) so my mom taught me how to go ask my dad questions and permission and she hated it when my dad pointed it out to her.

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Minha Khan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is how I know have appeared in commercials. I have learned to lie and appear busy.

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Clearly sunny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's something they should probably learn after leaving home and stepping out into the big world. Not from us parents doing it to them.

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#6

Me Getting My Vaccinations After My Mother Refused For Me To Have Them

Me Getting My Vaccinations After My Mother Refused For Me To Have Them

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If I could I would live under water
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love when teenagers actually start to think for themselves, and not just repeating what they parents think

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“When we set excessive and inflexible high standards for ourselves and become self-critical about not meeting those, perfectionism can become a problem for our mental health and potentially contribute to depression or suicidal thoughts,” researcher Morton said.

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#7

Actually What The F**k

Actually What The F**k

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Sam Kunz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stop the planet, I want to get off. That's the worst thing I've ever read.

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#8

She Is Insane

She Is Insane

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achilles get down from there
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s just the same as smashing down a Lego set, or destroying paintings, or any other project. It’s destroying property! And hours and hours of care and passion.

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#9

Very Not Cool

Very Not Cool

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Eslamala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Addiction is a disease, and it's NEVER compatible with kids in the house. Downvote all you want, but people with that kind of problems should never be the caretakers of kids. Ever.

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“Perfectionism is a very insidious problem—even if someone achieves great success in their personal or professional life, negative thinking patterns lead them to be highly self-critical, focus on perceived mistakes, or mentally discount their achievements,” Morton detailed that a perfectionist mindset dims even the biggest victories when we tend to laser-in on the various real and imagined flaws.

#11

Tweet Says It All

Tweet Says It All

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TmKhr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's sad when people who really want children can't have them, and then horrible people like these have kids. Not fair.

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#12

What If The Neighbors Had Dogs

What If The Neighbors Had Dogs

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The anxiety surrounding perfectionism is just as much about personal pride as it is about the desire to be respected and liked by others. “People who struggle with perfectionism may worry that they will be judged for their perceived failures, feel that they are inadequate for needing help, or assume they will be a burden on their family and friends,” she said, adding that this can make perfectionists especially vulnerable mentally and emotionally.

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#13

Please Show Support To The Op On His Post Since His Parents Surely Won't

Please Show Support To The Op On His Post Since His Parents Surely Won't

Eineron_456 Report

#14

Can’t Imagine What That Kid Has To Deal With

Can’t Imagine What That Kid Has To Deal With

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#15

Wow Just Wow

Wow Just Wow

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As such, it’s very important that parents who make mistakes with their kids don’t overcorrect and land in the ‘perfectionist’ zone. Similarly, any parents who realize that they’re being inflexible with their standards and are overly critical of their and their kids’ (real or perceived) faults need to learn to hold back and allow room for (at least some) failure. After all, learning to deal with failure and drawing wisdom from our mistakes is what being human is all about. One thing's for sure, though: nobody wants to be that parent who ends up on 'Parents Are Effing Dumb.'

#17

Imagine... Uggh

Imagine... Uggh

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Little Wonder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, there should be laws against this sort of "family youtube" thing. Using your kids for views and cash is revolting.

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#18

Parents Theory

Parents Theory

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Those Japanese cartoons are too violent. Here, watch this documentary about the genocide in Vendée on the French-German channel."

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#20

Florida Teen Dies From Covid-19 After Mom Takes Her To Church “Covid Party”

Florida Teen Dies From Covid-19 After Mom Takes Her To Church “Covid Party”

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#21

Atleast One Person In The Comments Had The Sense To Tell Her To Call A Doctor! This Is Too Much

Atleast One Person In The Comments Had The Sense To Tell Her To Call A Doctor! This Is Too Much

Tiny_Parfait Report

#23

Mum Is Angry At Her Child For Growing

Mum Is Angry At Her Child For Growing

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#24

Another Great Example Of Dumb Parents

Another Great Example Of Dumb Parents

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#25

Wtf

Wtf

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Old people think they are gods, they always think they are always right about everything. Edit : not all of them, obviously, but it is more like a general tendency.

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#26

Big Brain Logic

Big Brain Logic

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can see the composite in my head now from all I've seen that I couldn't stop: "how many times must I tell you *name*?! We *smack* don't *smack* hit *smack* people *wrenches kid away by the arm*

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#27

Mint Drugs

Mint Drugs

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#28

Family Had Symptoms Of Covid But Sent Child To School Regardless

Family Had Symptoms Of Covid But Sent Child To School Regardless

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Eslamala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those people should be fined, and do community service by volunteering at hospitals.

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#29

My Parents Think This Is A Cute Decoration

My Parents Think This Is A Cute Decoration

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My MIL collects golli-dolls. I asked her mother (my wife's grandmother) about it a few years back. She told me that after the war, they were left with nothing, rationing was the only thing keeping them fed. She was out begging one day with her infant child (my MIL) and someone gave her a golli doll and she has kept it ever since. The doll, to my MIL, was the first and only gift she would receive as a child and holds huge sentimentality, if her house caught fire, she would try to save them, before her husband. She knows and understands why they are racist, but for her, they represent something else, kindness, charity, safety and childhood.

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#31

Woke Up And Saw My Door Removed By My Parents. I Asked Them "Why?" And They Replied With "Privacy Isn't Necessary"

Woke Up And Saw My Door Removed By My Parents. I Asked Them "Why?" And They Replied With "Privacy Isn't Necessary"

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Little Wonder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents didn't take my door, but they had the same attitude to privacy. They still do.

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#33

Sorry If Repost

Sorry If Repost

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#34

Let Me Just Punish My Kid For Being Depressed Instead Of Trying To Deal With It

Let Me Just Punish My Kid For Being Depressed Instead Of Trying To Deal With It

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#36

Everyone Is Fine Today And No Bad Habits Were Formed

Everyone Is Fine Today And No Bad Habits Were Formed

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#37

Well, He Tried

Well, He Tried

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#38

My Dad Needs To Stay Off The Internet

My Dad Needs To Stay Off The Internet

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#39

We Know Everything About You

We Know Everything About You

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#40

That Kid Is Like 1

That Kid Is Like 1

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Andrew Gibb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cement burns and irritates skin- the kid needs to be washed off immediately. Whoever took the photo and/or stood watching this is a nunt

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#41

I Did It

I Did It

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Sasy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Times were different. Usually the owner of store knew parents smoked etc.

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#43

7yo Gets Bullied At School For Sitting In A Car Seat, So Mom Waits Until He's Asleep, Takes A Photo Of Him, And Posts It On The Official Parents Magazine Instagram Page (855k Followers)

7yo Gets Bullied At School For Sitting In A Car Seat, So Mom Waits Until He's Asleep, Takes A Photo Of Him, And Posts It On The Official Parents Magazine Instagram Page (855k Followers)

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this person is actually evil. Maybe she will learn her lesson when she is not invited to his wedding, never meets her grandchildren, and is cremated in the cheapest casket and thrown away in the nearest lake with just a small prayer and two flowers.

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#44

We’re In A Crowded Terminal And This Toddler Wouldn’t Stop Crying And Screaming, So Her Mom Gave Her A Whistle To Play With

We’re In A Crowded Terminal And This Toddler Wouldn’t Stop Crying And Screaming, So Her Mom Gave Her A Whistle To Play With

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TmKhr
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet the others enjoy it as much as she does *facepalm*

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#45

Yes, The Problem Is Definitely Not That You Gave A Phone To A 2 Year Old!

Yes, The Problem Is Definitely Not That You Gave A Phone To A 2 Year Old!

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Bumble
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You took away your 2 year old's IPhone? That is beyond cruel! How will he text his friends?

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#47

Sad We Have To Create Something So We Don’t Forget Children

Sad We Have To Create Something So We Don’t Forget Children

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you 'never understand' why people make mistakes, you're another reason why people think they could never make a mistake, don't use any kind of failsafe, make a mistake, and have dire consequences.

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#48

My Son Likes To Do Something He Likes And He Deserves It, But Doesn't Need It. What Should I Do?

My Son Likes To Do Something He Likes And He Deserves It, But Doesn't Need It. What Should I Do?

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Blakkur Sverrir
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could teach him the valuable lesson that, no matter how hard he works and how good he follows rules, people with power (you in that case) will never let him see a reward for it, let alone have some time to relax and recharge. That will teach him a lot about life. Or push him to burnout/suicide and stuff.

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#49

Nice Name

Nice Name

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F. H.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think I would be able to hold myself back and not call my child Cash if my last name was money. I would have to rely on my wife as the voice of reason.

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#50

This Mom Be Like "I Wonder Why My Kids Don't Confide In Me For Anything?"

This Mom Be Like "I Wonder Why My Kids Don't Confide In Me For Anything?"

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Note: this post originally had 95 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.