Woman Is Fed Up With Her Brother Living With Her For Free And Kicks Him Out, Gets Scolded By Her Aunt So She Drops Him Off At Her House
There are all kinds of families and people tend to have different opinions about the importance of it, despite the often thought that family is one of the most important things in a person’s life. It’s great if your relationship with your parents and siblings is close and meaningful but what if you don’t see eye to eye with them? Some might say that despite all of this, the relationship with these people is strong and in case something happens, they are the ones who are going to lend you a helping hand.
But there are situations where this is done out of a sheer feeling of responsibility or knowing that you can’t leave your relative alone when they struggle. One Reddit user, @Relative_Potential92, decided to share a situation that occurred in her family and ask other people’s opinions on the way she handled it.
More Info: Reddit
It’s great to have a strong relationship with your family that is based on trust
Image credits: Soon (not the actual photo)
The woman started her story by presenting her older brother. Very often we are used to the idea that older brothers love to protect and take care of their little siblings. In this situation, it happens to be quite the opposite. The author of the post shared that the 34-year-old man finds it hard to keep the same steady job and this results in him being supported by family and friends. Of course, there is nothing wrong with taking help, but the woman emphasized that this happens quite often and that he doesn’t seem to put any effort into trying to stand on his feet. Besides this, every time this happens, her brother doesn’t bother to help around the house with chores or pay for anything. According to her, he just creates even more mess, eats others’ food, and uses their things. Because of this, a lot of his friends have turned their back on him.
A Reddit user decided to share a situation that occurred in her family and how she decided to handle it
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
When the brother lost his job last time, he thought of crashing at his parents’ house but they couldn’t take him because their other sibling and his family needed help, so they were staying at the parents’ house. Seeing this situation, the author’s parents as well as her uncle and aunt decided to ask her to take her brother into her house. Since there was no other option, and the woman felt bad for her brother, she allowed him to stay at her place.
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
The woman shared that she has a brother who finds it hard to keep a steady job and often ends up staying at family’s or friends’ home
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
The same scenario happened again but now his parents weren’t able to help him out
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
She was strict with him by telling him that he could only stay there for a couple of months. Little did she know that he would end up there for 6-7 months. The woman shared that during that time, her brother acted horribly: he didn’t help around the house, didn’t even take care of himself, ate all of her food, and racked up bills. The woman had had enough of this, so she said that her brother had to go.
Being a good sister, the woman allowed him to move into her place but stated that he could only stay there for a couple of months
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
After 6 months, she asked him to move out because she couldn’t keep living with him, so he ended up telling his parents about this
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
The man shared this news with other family members, and soon his sister received a call from their aunt who yelled at the woman for refusing to help her brother, stating that this is what family is for—to help each other out in tough times. The niece agreed with her and hung up the phone. This is when she already had a plan in her head. She helped her brother to pack and dropped him off at their aunt’s house, the same ones who gave her the brilliant speech on how one should help their relative out.
The news reached their aunt who scolded the sister for evicting her brother and refusing to help him further
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
The woman didn’t let this impact her decision, so she packed her brother’s things and dropped him off at their aunt’s house
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
Soon the woman received multiple calls from her parents and the aunt who was furious with her actions. Despite this, the brother stayed at the aunt’s place. Even though the woman was brave to do such a thing, she still asked people online if she did the right thing by leaving her brother there. People online were quick to express their support for this woman, and even were surprised by the outcome of the story. What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
The aunt wasn’t happy with the outcome of this situation but everyone else didn’t mind her helping out
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
The woman provided some more details about her brother and the whole situation they all were in
Image credits: Relative_Potential92
A lot of people online not only supported the sister’s decision but also were concerned about the brother and his state
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I hate people like that. She gives him a roof and he doesnt clean, cook or does anything to thank his sister? For what I care he can rot under a bridge. The aunt is such a hypocrite, she got that coming. We had something like this years ago, my partner had a colleague whose girlfriend kicked him out of her house (for being an a*****e). He let him stay with us "for a few weeks". Not only he never paid rent, he never cleaned the house and he stole our things (shampoo and so). He expected me (as a woman) to clean his s**t, cook for him, sew his clothes etc. He didnt even know how to do his own laundry and he was 30! He would prepare joints in out living room and leave the weed in the table, leave his lefotvers in the fridge until they were moldy. He even broke out sofa because he would get wasted and high and sleep there. At the end my partner kicked his parasitic ass but I was ready to leave if he didnt do it.
Yeah, Aunt got that coming for sure, the hypocrite !
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I love this. I have a huge family and we have all lived with each other at times. Most recently Brother #10 had to move in with me at the beginning of lockdown when he lost his job and couldn't afford his rent. Luckily he only needed to stay for about 2 months before he was gainfully employed and able to get his own place again. Things happen, I know that. He was also a wonderful roommate for those months and helped me around the house and made sure I had the time and space I needed to work from him. He even helped me turn a spare room into a proper office. I was kinda sad to see him go.
The parents are to blame. They have enabled him forever and expect other people to do the same. If no one will take OB in, he will either become homeless or self-reliant, it is literally his choice. OP should have booted his butt out the door when he didn't clean up after himself. Set limits and stick to them.
My oldest brother is an alcoholic. As a result, he was hardly able to hold a job. My relatives couldn't understand why I kicked him out..."without warning". They all thought he was "such a nice guy". I then asked them how "nice" they thought it was: >that a 6 year old found this "nice guy" unconscious on the kitchen floor in the morning ... with dirty pants, because he pissed and s**t himself. >or when he falls asleep drunk with a lit cigarette and you have to extinguish the mattress (on which he is still lying... unconscious) so that he doesn't set the whole house on fire. >or that he drunken threatened a 12-year-old with a knife, because he was "cocky" to him. >or that he also lived at my expense... I didn't get a single cent from him. I packed his stuff and threw him out. None of my "dear" relatives, who always told me he was such a "nice guy", took him in either.
I would've thrown him out after just one of those things, especially threatening your child or nearly setting the house on fire
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Tell the aunt "Well since your from the great generation that blames all of the worlds problems on this generation, then I emplore you to take him in and educate him in the art of not being a hctib ettil(lfg fan) and if your unwilling to do so write out all your complaints and place it in an envelope and push it firmly up your r****m and clamp down so no one else has to deal with them again"
Uh, where are the Reddit comments? Isn't that what we all really come here for?
Pretty much everyone in the story is an assshole, with the older leech brother being the THE A*****e, the Star A*****e, the Mega-A*****e! That's the thing about real assholes, they turn everyone around them into assholes, because becoming an a*****e yourself is the only way to deal with a true a*****e.
Please note, the fershluginer BP autocensor can't spot plurals.
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Wow no way are you to blame I read a book about sociopath and he fits I'm not a doctor but I read lots to check my bipolar disorder. The bored, doesn't care about how the person taking care of him feels also distrust in mental illness. Are the concerning symptoms. And it doesn't mean he's going to kill people just he's jacked up in the head. Sadly until he's forced to do something he won't. You were definitely right. time for man child to be somebody else's problem. Good luck. 👍
Yup. Sociopath or personality disordered seems likely here. That doesn't absolve everyone else, but it's pretty likely that he was always going to need help. It's just too bad he didn't get it before
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The parents obviously didn't ever hold the OB responsible for his actions and it's toxic that they all expected the OP to deal with him. Aunt pointed out that family should take care of family, until OP called her bluff. People need to start holding him accountable for his own life instead of guilting the OP for not putting up with his crap. Time for some tough love. Someone needs to give him a time limit and hold him to it. Nobody is helping him by coddling him.
I am always amazed by these stories and they say their aunts and uncles or in-laws, or even parents, called them all upset over a family argument. How do all these people get involved? I argue with my sister, I never get a phone call from anyone about it. Why are all of these people involved anyway? One thing about my family that this site has taught me to appreciate is my family minds their own business.
That's the key, people minding their own business. My family gets into receives business. I live far away and rarely talk to people in the phone. I use to visit home once a year when my dad was alive. I would get so much gossip from everyone when I visit. Visits aren't terrible for me because I'm not with all my relatives at the same time. I don't share much of my own information and when my cousins get to nosy I won't tell them anything. I get to stay out of the drama. Life is more mellow and happy this way.
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Oh don't worry about being the AH. I may as well be a mass murderer to some of my family as well for not out-right buying my sister a house. Well f**k them.
A mass murderer would've bought his sister a house. And probably kill her in it. But still.
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We had a similar situation. My husband was the one who convinced me, even though there was a LOT of bad history, to take in my brother. Then ot was my brother & his gf. Then she got pregnant... Then I found them stealing from my husband, the reason they had a roof over their heads. Never paid rent. Never paid bills. Never kept a job, either of them. And then when I demanded our property back I was the villain because I was harassing my brother under age pregnant gf.... I no longer talk to my family. I'm better off now
And my brother feels horrible for staying for three weeks even though I invited him.
No matter if this brother has a mental illness, he can work at times, so he can help out wherever he’s living. It sounds like the biggest problem here is boundaries. The whole family has crossed your boundaries even if you didn’t verbally give any. Your parents knew the cost to youWe all know how to be civilized. That said, your family is also the type that needs to be told what your boundaries are exactly because they got used to crossing your boundaries for so long. They obviously will not like this change but it’s clearly an absolute must. If they want you to be part of the family, then they don’t have a choice but to accept your boundaries. If they can’t respect your boundaries, then why would you ever respect them? Sending your brother to your aunts was perfect. I personally would expect and tell them they owe me an apology. Speak your boundaries regularly, or they’ll keep walking all over you and you’ll never know how to be happy or even ok within the fam. Stay strong & be happy.
Too funny. One of my relatives barely lifts a finger if at all to help out. But for some strange reason she was laying it on pretty thick yesterday. She didn't come right out and ask me for help and I did not volunteer to lift a finger. Just empathized and offered solutions. I could feel her frustration but my 2022 mantra is, If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you................
There only ever seems to be 2 flavors of AITA; someone does something super egregious, possibly even abusive, and someone asks "AITA" for having a reasonable response. Or, option 2, the poster does something super egregious, possibly even abusive, and then ask "AITA" when other people call them out.
More power to the lady who had the guts to stand up for herself and share the 'joy' of being family at the same time. Lol. Good for her. Certainly NTA in my opinion. Too many people are generous with other people's time and resources... thats wrong. So... time to wake up, smell the coffee and wash the dishes too!
You did right. He is an adult and if he can't respect how you live in your house then he needs to get his own place. Family can respect each other but family can also take advantage of the situation because of the lack of accountability. And you did fine by dropping him off at your auntie. I'm sure he probably can't do all the low down stuff at auntie's that he did at your place so he's fine. I have a sister who does exactly some of the crap you've mentioned and she is 58. She and her husband (now ex) needed a place to stay for at least a week because the new place wasn't ready yet. They ended up staying for two weeks and they ate up all the food I had restocked for the house while they were there and she wasn't working but ran up my phone bill and never made mentioned until I confronted her. They eventually moved on but never offered to reimburse me even if I never accepted and that was 25 years ago. She has lost a lot of friends and burnt bridges as a result. And it's still happening
This women is my hero. You go girl. Her aunt got exactly what she deserved.
NTA, at all! You're too patient. I suspect that's why OB took such advantage.
EXCRUCIATING TO READ EVERYTHING TWICE, AUTHOR PLEASE DON'T WRITE EVERYTHING TWICE, LOL, LOL!!
I really can't stand this idea today that Everytime someone is an A*hole there has to be some underlying medical issue🙄 or some "trauma" from their past. Truth be told most instances are people do what they do for no other reason than that they just don't give a rats a** about anyone else but themselves & operate with this oh so popular victim mentality that somehow excuses their shi**y behavior & everyone's just supposed to take it. Daddy was mean to you because of blah blah , mommy didn't play with u enough, I have ADHDEFGHIJKLMNOP. Whatever. There is no excuse for being an ungrateful POS that thinks everyone owes them something. You're an adult now. the past is the past GTF over it. Get your Sh*t together already
Another disjointed, repetitive piece that I couldn't even finish. A degree in journalism? You should ask for your money back and get a different job.
Yup sounds just like my family, except kine is violent and wouldn't even get in thr car.
He doesn't care if he works or not, but sure doesn't mind if he takes advantage of his family and friends. Do not let him back into your home, not even for a visit. Why should he work when he has others pay the bills and he takes but never gives? He knows exactly what he is doing. As long as he has a place to go with family he won't change. He has already ruined his friendship with his friends. He is a moocher. He seems to be settled in with the aunt so forget about him and go on with your own life. My daughter once asked me if she had to love her relatives? (She was 11 at the time) I told her since she had no choice about who was family, she did not have to like or love them. I said when you pick your friends that's when you can like/love them. I said choose your friends wisely.
He will never learn to take care of himself so long as everyone just does it for him. Plus, people often don't appreciate things like electricity, food, a warm home, clean clothes, unless they've worked their butt of to earn it. Bye Bro!
Reminds me of me and my older brother..... definitely NOT the a*****e...wish I had kicked his ass out after 6 months, took me a whole year to stand up to the rest of my family (all who refused to take him and his family in but expected me to take care of him, his wife, and their 2 young children while I myself had 4 children to take care of) family can put the fun in dysfunctional can't they? Lol
I love that OP dropped him off at Auntie's house! Put your house where your mouth is, Auntie!! Notice everyone was giving OP s**t but NOBODY offered to take brother off her hands?? Nice family ya got there. :)
🙌 Perfect solution. Aunt thinks it important to take in and care for family, but only when it doesn't put her out. She can put her money where her mouth is now. Honestly, sounds exactly like Aunt Norris from Mansfield Park.
Love it!! You did the right thing!! I would have done the same thing and included a copy of my bills that he caused to increase telling her that to please see that he helps pay when he gets a job! If you don't want to step up and help don't say anything mind your own business. I had an aunt like that. She scolded me for not taking care of my little sister but I had no idea what was happening my sister kept me in the dark. That was over 20years ago she found out right away I didn't know what was happening but to today she still won't see me or talk to me even though my sister and I are perfectly OK. It is sad when family members think they know it all and try to put their 2 sense in.
The brother likely suffers from depression. That doesn't excuse him mooching. However, if so, his hygiene likely disappears when he finds himself again out of work & mooching. That said, he's an adult, it is his responsibility. He won't see a doctor? He'll never know if antidepressants might help. His family cannot be expected to care for him like an infant forever.
Well... all that being said just because he is highly functional and doesn't believe in mental illness dosen't mean he dosen't have one. . . The name calling is un called for the not talking and unforgiveness is wrong and should be addressed on all sides. . . Look into Dr.Amen he may very well be dealing with a mental illness which can't just be diognised via a questionnaire on paper. . I do believe her dropping her off at her aunts who has so much to say was the best choice, we are all held accountable to how we treat others who need help. Even if that person is unruly.
Some people just genuinely deserve better then their families. I'm actually in a bit of a similar situation. My mom has BPD and struggles to maintain a job because of it. However I do want to point out she refuses to seek treatment or medication for her BPD as she doesn't take those things seriously. The house market is really difficult where I'm from so I'm still living with her in my mid-twenties. As I'm the only one with a stable income, I often am paying for everything - groceries, bills, Netflix, you name it. I also help out around the house, I'm the one primarily cooking, etc. When she helps around the house, she often is pissed about it and even dared to ask for payment once. When she has money, its not like she pays me back any penny she has left to spare, still does fun stuff like going to the tanning studio, and when I come along she expects me to pay for myself, despite the fact she owes close to 3K...
I am a Widow,when my husband was alive,his sister who has 5 kids moved in and took over everything, used my name for cable and never paid. I was not allowed to say anything. My husband passed away in 2013,it took me 9 years to get my credit back in good shape.I told her 9 years ago to go jump in the lake but not in those terms.She was and is a b***h.
Really she called u a c**t? You should've told her it takes one to know one, you did right let her help him out you got your own life aint nobody got time to be taking care of no overgrown sorry lazy pathetic stank ass supposed to be man FAMILY or not DONT LEND ANOTHER HAND!!!
I had a similar situation after the death of my first wife to liver cancer I got married to a lady I’ve known for 30 some years. She has three adult children one which got kick out of her apartment by her boyfriend. She had at the time a 14 year old daughter. I took her into my home. Big mistake she wouldn’t clean do any work around the house. I let her borrow my older car. She never checked the oil and it seized up. She had the gall to jump into her mothers ass for not getting her a new car. Now Ef me running? So we kicked her out of the getting her an apartment using my truck to move her stuff. Now I’m hated because of the fact she’s lazy ands she wouldn’t do anything work. I took a boat load of crap from my step daughters, but when asked to take her in I even offered her a plane ticket. Their answer a no way. She even went as far to get me to be The Godfather of her child now I’m not allowed to see my granddaughter. So yea I’ve been there.
I hate people like that. She gives him a roof and he doesnt clean, cook or does anything to thank his sister? For what I care he can rot under a bridge. The aunt is such a hypocrite, she got that coming. We had something like this years ago, my partner had a colleague whose girlfriend kicked him out of her house (for being an a*****e). He let him stay with us "for a few weeks". Not only he never paid rent, he never cleaned the house and he stole our things (shampoo and so). He expected me (as a woman) to clean his s**t, cook for him, sew his clothes etc. He didnt even know how to do his own laundry and he was 30! He would prepare joints in out living room and leave the weed in the table, leave his lefotvers in the fridge until they were moldy. He even broke out sofa because he would get wasted and high and sleep there. At the end my partner kicked his parasitic ass but I was ready to leave if he didnt do it.
Yeah, Aunt got that coming for sure, the hypocrite !
Load More Replies... I love this. I have a huge family and we have all lived with each other at times. Most recently Brother #10 had to move in with me at the beginning of lockdown when he lost his job and couldn't afford his rent. Luckily he only needed to stay for about 2 months before he was gainfully employed and able to get his own place again. Things happen, I know that. He was also a wonderful roommate for those months and helped me around the house and made sure I had the time and space I needed to work from him. He even helped me turn a spare room into a proper office. I was kinda sad to see him go.
The parents are to blame. They have enabled him forever and expect other people to do the same. If no one will take OB in, he will either become homeless or self-reliant, it is literally his choice. OP should have booted his butt out the door when he didn't clean up after himself. Set limits and stick to them.
My oldest brother is an alcoholic. As a result, he was hardly able to hold a job. My relatives couldn't understand why I kicked him out..."without warning". They all thought he was "such a nice guy". I then asked them how "nice" they thought it was: >that a 6 year old found this "nice guy" unconscious on the kitchen floor in the morning ... with dirty pants, because he pissed and s**t himself. >or when he falls asleep drunk with a lit cigarette and you have to extinguish the mattress (on which he is still lying... unconscious) so that he doesn't set the whole house on fire. >or that he drunken threatened a 12-year-old with a knife, because he was "cocky" to him. >or that he also lived at my expense... I didn't get a single cent from him. I packed his stuff and threw him out. None of my "dear" relatives, who always told me he was such a "nice guy", took him in either.
I would've thrown him out after just one of those things, especially threatening your child or nearly setting the house on fire
Load More Replies... Tell the aunt "Well since your from the great generation that blames all of the worlds problems on this generation, then I emplore you to take him in and educate him in the art of not being a hctib ettil(lfg fan) and if your unwilling to do so write out all your complaints and place it in an envelope and push it firmly up your r****m and clamp down so no one else has to deal with them again"
Uh, where are the Reddit comments? Isn't that what we all really come here for?
Pretty much everyone in the story is an assshole, with the older leech brother being the THE A*****e, the Star A*****e, the Mega-A*****e! That's the thing about real assholes, they turn everyone around them into assholes, because becoming an a*****e yourself is the only way to deal with a true a*****e.
Please note, the fershluginer BP autocensor can't spot plurals.
Load More Replies... Wow no way are you to blame I read a book about sociopath and he fits I'm not a doctor but I read lots to check my bipolar disorder. The bored, doesn't care about how the person taking care of him feels also distrust in mental illness. Are the concerning symptoms. And it doesn't mean he's going to kill people just he's jacked up in the head. Sadly until he's forced to do something he won't. You were definitely right. time for man child to be somebody else's problem. Good luck. 👍
Yup. Sociopath or personality disordered seems likely here. That doesn't absolve everyone else, but it's pretty likely that he was always going to need help. It's just too bad he didn't get it before
Load More Replies... The parents obviously didn't ever hold the OB responsible for his actions and it's toxic that they all expected the OP to deal with him. Aunt pointed out that family should take care of family, until OP called her bluff. People need to start holding him accountable for his own life instead of guilting the OP for not putting up with his crap. Time for some tough love. Someone needs to give him a time limit and hold him to it. Nobody is helping him by coddling him.
I am always amazed by these stories and they say their aunts and uncles or in-laws, or even parents, called them all upset over a family argument. How do all these people get involved? I argue with my sister, I never get a phone call from anyone about it. Why are all of these people involved anyway? One thing about my family that this site has taught me to appreciate is my family minds their own business.
That's the key, people minding their own business. My family gets into receives business. I live far away and rarely talk to people in the phone. I use to visit home once a year when my dad was alive. I would get so much gossip from everyone when I visit. Visits aren't terrible for me because I'm not with all my relatives at the same time. I don't share much of my own information and when my cousins get to nosy I won't tell them anything. I get to stay out of the drama. Life is more mellow and happy this way.
Load More Replies... Oh don't worry about being the AH. I may as well be a mass murderer to some of my family as well for not out-right buying my sister a house. Well f**k them.
A mass murderer would've bought his sister a house. And probably kill her in it. But still.
Load More Replies... We had a similar situation. My husband was the one who convinced me, even though there was a LOT of bad history, to take in my brother. Then ot was my brother & his gf. Then she got pregnant... Then I found them stealing from my husband, the reason they had a roof over their heads. Never paid rent. Never paid bills. Never kept a job, either of them. And then when I demanded our property back I was the villain because I was harassing my brother under age pregnant gf.... I no longer talk to my family. I'm better off now
And my brother feels horrible for staying for three weeks even though I invited him.
No matter if this brother has a mental illness, he can work at times, so he can help out wherever he’s living. It sounds like the biggest problem here is boundaries. The whole family has crossed your boundaries even if you didn’t verbally give any. Your parents knew the cost to youWe all know how to be civilized. That said, your family is also the type that needs to be told what your boundaries are exactly because they got used to crossing your boundaries for so long. They obviously will not like this change but it’s clearly an absolute must. If they want you to be part of the family, then they don’t have a choice but to accept your boundaries. If they can’t respect your boundaries, then why would you ever respect them? Sending your brother to your aunts was perfect. I personally would expect and tell them they owe me an apology. Speak your boundaries regularly, or they’ll keep walking all over you and you’ll never know how to be happy or even ok within the fam. Stay strong & be happy.
Too funny. One of my relatives barely lifts a finger if at all to help out. But for some strange reason she was laying it on pretty thick yesterday. She didn't come right out and ask me for help and I did not volunteer to lift a finger. Just empathized and offered solutions. I could feel her frustration but my 2022 mantra is, If it's good enough for me, it's good enough for you................
There only ever seems to be 2 flavors of AITA; someone does something super egregious, possibly even abusive, and someone asks "AITA" for having a reasonable response. Or, option 2, the poster does something super egregious, possibly even abusive, and then ask "AITA" when other people call them out.
More power to the lady who had the guts to stand up for herself and share the 'joy' of being family at the same time. Lol. Good for her. Certainly NTA in my opinion. Too many people are generous with other people's time and resources... thats wrong. So... time to wake up, smell the coffee and wash the dishes too!
You did right. He is an adult and if he can't respect how you live in your house then he needs to get his own place. Family can respect each other but family can also take advantage of the situation because of the lack of accountability. And you did fine by dropping him off at your auntie. I'm sure he probably can't do all the low down stuff at auntie's that he did at your place so he's fine. I have a sister who does exactly some of the crap you've mentioned and she is 58. She and her husband (now ex) needed a place to stay for at least a week because the new place wasn't ready yet. They ended up staying for two weeks and they ate up all the food I had restocked for the house while they were there and she wasn't working but ran up my phone bill and never made mentioned until I confronted her. They eventually moved on but never offered to reimburse me even if I never accepted and that was 25 years ago. She has lost a lot of friends and burnt bridges as a result. And it's still happening
This women is my hero. You go girl. Her aunt got exactly what she deserved.
NTA, at all! You're too patient. I suspect that's why OB took such advantage.
EXCRUCIATING TO READ EVERYTHING TWICE, AUTHOR PLEASE DON'T WRITE EVERYTHING TWICE, LOL, LOL!!
I really can't stand this idea today that Everytime someone is an A*hole there has to be some underlying medical issue🙄 or some "trauma" from their past. Truth be told most instances are people do what they do for no other reason than that they just don't give a rats a** about anyone else but themselves & operate with this oh so popular victim mentality that somehow excuses their shi**y behavior & everyone's just supposed to take it. Daddy was mean to you because of blah blah , mommy didn't play with u enough, I have ADHDEFGHIJKLMNOP. Whatever. There is no excuse for being an ungrateful POS that thinks everyone owes them something. You're an adult now. the past is the past GTF over it. Get your Sh*t together already
Another disjointed, repetitive piece that I couldn't even finish. A degree in journalism? You should ask for your money back and get a different job.
Yup sounds just like my family, except kine is violent and wouldn't even get in thr car.
He doesn't care if he works or not, but sure doesn't mind if he takes advantage of his family and friends. Do not let him back into your home, not even for a visit. Why should he work when he has others pay the bills and he takes but never gives? He knows exactly what he is doing. As long as he has a place to go with family he won't change. He has already ruined his friendship with his friends. He is a moocher. He seems to be settled in with the aunt so forget about him and go on with your own life. My daughter once asked me if she had to love her relatives? (She was 11 at the time) I told her since she had no choice about who was family, she did not have to like or love them. I said when you pick your friends that's when you can like/love them. I said choose your friends wisely.
He will never learn to take care of himself so long as everyone just does it for him. Plus, people often don't appreciate things like electricity, food, a warm home, clean clothes, unless they've worked their butt of to earn it. Bye Bro!
Reminds me of me and my older brother..... definitely NOT the a*****e...wish I had kicked his ass out after 6 months, took me a whole year to stand up to the rest of my family (all who refused to take him and his family in but expected me to take care of him, his wife, and their 2 young children while I myself had 4 children to take care of) family can put the fun in dysfunctional can't they? Lol
I love that OP dropped him off at Auntie's house! Put your house where your mouth is, Auntie!! Notice everyone was giving OP s**t but NOBODY offered to take brother off her hands?? Nice family ya got there. :)
🙌 Perfect solution. Aunt thinks it important to take in and care for family, but only when it doesn't put her out. She can put her money where her mouth is now. Honestly, sounds exactly like Aunt Norris from Mansfield Park.
Love it!! You did the right thing!! I would have done the same thing and included a copy of my bills that he caused to increase telling her that to please see that he helps pay when he gets a job! If you don't want to step up and help don't say anything mind your own business. I had an aunt like that. She scolded me for not taking care of my little sister but I had no idea what was happening my sister kept me in the dark. That was over 20years ago she found out right away I didn't know what was happening but to today she still won't see me or talk to me even though my sister and I are perfectly OK. It is sad when family members think they know it all and try to put their 2 sense in.
The brother likely suffers from depression. That doesn't excuse him mooching. However, if so, his hygiene likely disappears when he finds himself again out of work & mooching. That said, he's an adult, it is his responsibility. He won't see a doctor? He'll never know if antidepressants might help. His family cannot be expected to care for him like an infant forever.
Well... all that being said just because he is highly functional and doesn't believe in mental illness dosen't mean he dosen't have one. . . The name calling is un called for the not talking and unforgiveness is wrong and should be addressed on all sides. . . Look into Dr.Amen he may very well be dealing with a mental illness which can't just be diognised via a questionnaire on paper. . I do believe her dropping her off at her aunts who has so much to say was the best choice, we are all held accountable to how we treat others who need help. Even if that person is unruly.
Some people just genuinely deserve better then their families. I'm actually in a bit of a similar situation. My mom has BPD and struggles to maintain a job because of it. However I do want to point out she refuses to seek treatment or medication for her BPD as she doesn't take those things seriously. The house market is really difficult where I'm from so I'm still living with her in my mid-twenties. As I'm the only one with a stable income, I often am paying for everything - groceries, bills, Netflix, you name it. I also help out around the house, I'm the one primarily cooking, etc. When she helps around the house, she often is pissed about it and even dared to ask for payment once. When she has money, its not like she pays me back any penny she has left to spare, still does fun stuff like going to the tanning studio, and when I come along she expects me to pay for myself, despite the fact she owes close to 3K...
I am a Widow,when my husband was alive,his sister who has 5 kids moved in and took over everything, used my name for cable and never paid. I was not allowed to say anything. My husband passed away in 2013,it took me 9 years to get my credit back in good shape.I told her 9 years ago to go jump in the lake but not in those terms.She was and is a b***h.
Really she called u a c**t? You should've told her it takes one to know one, you did right let her help him out you got your own life aint nobody got time to be taking care of no overgrown sorry lazy pathetic stank ass supposed to be man FAMILY or not DONT LEND ANOTHER HAND!!!
I had a similar situation after the death of my first wife to liver cancer I got married to a lady I’ve known for 30 some years. She has three adult children one which got kick out of her apartment by her boyfriend. She had at the time a 14 year old daughter. I took her into my home. Big mistake she wouldn’t clean do any work around the house. I let her borrow my older car. She never checked the oil and it seized up. She had the gall to jump into her mothers ass for not getting her a new car. Now Ef me running? So we kicked her out of the getting her an apartment using my truck to move her stuff. Now I’m hated because of the fact she’s lazy ands she wouldn’t do anything work. I took a boat load of crap from my step daughters, but when asked to take her in I even offered her a plane ticket. Their answer a no way. She even went as far to get me to be The Godfather of her child now I’m not allowed to see my granddaughter. So yea I’ve been there.
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