Guy Is Told Off By His Friend For Taking His Drunk Fiancée Home Instead Of Calling An Uber For Her
Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to help but you made it even worse? You wanted to help your mom with something but she would rather complete the task by herself or you wanted to do a good deed without the person knowing and they didn’t appreciate it at all and were actually mad?
If you’ve never experienced it, then you have an opportunity to find out how it feels as a man on Reddit wanted to help his buddy and drive his blackout drunk fiancée home. But when his friend found out about it, he was furious and suspected that the man had other intentions.
Moe info: Reddit
Man wanted to be a good friend and took his friend’s drunk fiancée home, but got only hate in return
Image credits: State Farm (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP), his friend and the friend’s fiancée are all in their early 20s. Because they are relatively young, it’s no surprise that they accidentally met in a bar in the middle of the night.
The OP was there mainly because he had a night job and bars were the only places open at night where he could go out. He wasn’t drinking, just socializing, because his work starts at 3:30 in the morning, and he witnessed a fight between his friend and his fiancée.
It seems that the fight was about another girl, but it was hard to follow the conversation as the man was really angry and his fiancée was already drunk. The argument ended with the man leaving and telling the woman to get her own ride.
The fiancée wasn’t leaving just yet and went back into the bar as she was there with friends. She ended up staying there until almost everyone left, so the OP thought it would be nice to offer her a ride home as she was so drunk that she couldn’t even form a sentence. That meant she couldn’t answer him, so the man took it upon himself to take care of his friend’s fiancée.
The man accidentally bumped into his friend and his fiancée in a bar and noticed that they had a fight
Image credits: ProudKey13
Luckily, he knew where she lived and the woman’s sister was home, so she took care of her. It seemed that everything ended up well and nobody was hurt, but the next day, the OP started getting angry messages from his friend who felt offended that his friend would give his fiancée a ride.
He was horrified at the thought that his fiancée was in a car alone with a man and believes he had ulterior motives to do so because he could have easily called her an Uber. Not only would the OP not do that because she was his friend’s fiancée, but she was also in a vulnerable state that he wouldn’t take advantage of.
The friend would have preferred that his girlfriend return home with a complete stranger when she was so drunk that she wouldn’t have been able to tell them her address over his friend who knows that the woman is his fiancée.
He completely ignored the fact that even the Redditor was aware that Uber riders aren’t the safest option for solitary drunk women late at night. That was what all people in the comments were pointing out.
They actually applauded the OP for being a good friend, thinking about possible consequences and choosing to take his time to make sure his friend’s fiancée reached home safely.
He saw that his friend had left and the fiancée went back into the bar to continue drinking with friends
Image credits: ProudKey13
What the readers were speculating was that maybe because the fiancée was accusing the OP’s friend of cheating on her with another woman, he thought that she would do the same to him and would choose the OP.
They also were disgusted that the man would leave his fiancée at a bar to find a way back home on her own when he saw that she was already completely drunk and was heading back to drink even more.
The narrator of the story and the friend’s fiancée were among the last people there and the man thought to offer a ride as the woman was very drunk
Image credits: ProudKey13
People’s concerns in the comments about how unsafe Uber may be for women at night when they are drunk didn’t come out of thin air. This year, Uber released their second safety report that looked at the years 2019 and 2020.
The report revealed that in that period, the company received 3,824 reports of the five most severe categories of sexual assault, which are “non-consensual kissing of a non-sexual body part,” “attempted non-consensual sexual penetration,” “non-consensual touching of a sexual body part,” “non-consensual kissing of a sexual body part,” and “non-consensual sexual penetration.” Over 90 percent of rape victims were the riders and women made up over 80 percent of the victims.
But the man’s friend didn’t appreciate the gesture and would have liked if he called an Uber
Image credits: ProudKey13
Another ride sharing company, Lyft, also published a safety report and included the same 5 categories. They review the 2017-2019 period and during these years, Lyft received 4,158 reports of sexual assault.
What they also noted was that “sexual assault is chronically underreported, and it can sometimes be months or years before a survivor is ready to come forward and report what happened.” Women may choose to stay silent forever, so we have to keep in mind that the real numbers are probably higher.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)
On the flip side, the National Sexual Violence Resource Center reports that “In eight out of 10 cases of rape, the victim knew the person who sexually assaulted them” and the majority of the victims (91 percent) were women.
Because the OP came to the internet to ask if he was wrong for taking his friend’s fiancée home himself because the friend is now mad at him, we can assume that he is probably innocent. But do you think he should have called an Uber instead? Do you think his friend’s anger is unreasonable? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
People in the comments were convinced that a friend driving the woman home was a lot better than entrusting her to a stranger
Her bf sounds like the type of person who thinks people do this c**p behind his back because he would. Those people can't fathom how others are actually loyal and sincere.
Given what their argument was about, I'm pretty sure that's dead on. She was so drunk she couldn't form a coherent sentence, so what the OP did was the right thing. 100%. Putting her in an Uber with a complete stranger would have been dangerous. Maybe he's miffed that the OP got her family involved, because they're probably peeved at him. And they probably asked what the argument was about, and thus are even more angry at him for that. He doesn't even have the excuse that he was drunk at the time, since he was the DD.
Load More Replies...
Some people mentioned bad Uber drivers, but even if a good one, if the driver couldn't find the house, what then? After finding the house the lady was so drunk that OP called the sister to come out and help her into the house. An uber driver would have left her on the sidewalk and who knows if she would have made it inside or what. OP driving her home was the only safe option because she was so very drunk.
There have been reports of Uber drivers doing far worse than that.
Load More Replies...
No matter how bad the fight is, even if you scream that you break up to each other,you shouldn't leave person alone at night, intoxicated in area like a bar. Be as angry as you want, but make sure that the person gets home safely.
I think that’s why friends/fiancé is being such a jerk. Her family found out he left her alone drunk and vulnerable.
Load More Replies...
NTA, but the friend is. The friend as dd told his fiancée to f-off and find her own ride. Well, in the end her ride (OP) found her. The friend is angry with OP for giving her a lift as he thinks she should have got an Uber? Nah. OP's friend either doesn't trust him, or doesn't trust the fiancée, or both. How is OP less trustworthy than a stranger? My guess, the friend suspects that his fiancée is attracted to OP, or the fiancée has made him jealous simply by being grateful to OP for the assistance, and he's taking his jealousy out on OP. I don't think OP should apologise to his friend, but I do think he should consider firstly checking the fiancée is okay given the way his 'friend' is behaving with him and secondly reassess what how good a friend the bloke really is.
I had a friend awhile back, his wife was gorgeous. She asked me one day about well let's just say that it would not have been appropriate. I turned her down and started why. She actually argued that I was his true friend from then on. Notice I said had his jealousy ruined a great friendship. Beginning to wonder if their are actual adults anymore instead of children masquerading as adults.
Load More Replies...
So dude got busted flirting with another girl (or something similar) and then got mad when his friend took his incoherent fiancée home because it breaks some sort of guy code? What is this logic? Don't put blackout drunk people in cars with strangers. Actually, don't leave blackout drunk people alone at bars in the first place... idc how bad the fight was, that's the woman you want to spend your life with and you stranded her? Honestly, she's better off with the guy who drove her home.
Why is this even a discussion?!? He absolutely did the right thing and the woman should kick her fiancé to the curb post haste.
OP should also reconsider his friendship with the fiancé. That guy seems to think it is normal to take advantage of intoxicated people to the extent that people will assume that OP took advantage of a drunk acquaintance that he knew was engaged to his friend.
Load More Replies... All of these people, except OP and the girlfriend, are delusional. A guy that knows her and her boyfriend and everyone else can't give a drunk girl a ride home without 'implications' that something might've happened between them? What the f**k. They should all be thanking him that he didn't leave her with some rando uber driver. What is up with these people? I'm also 100% willing to bet that the boyfriend is the type of guy who WOULD actually try to get with someone else's drunk girlfriend during a ride home, because of the way he reacted to OP and left his girlfriend at a bar to fend for herself.
You’re a good man, most likely an Uber driver would have refused to take someone so drunk anyway and then where would she be. Her fiancé is the biggest AH.
As a woman I would definitely prefer getting a ride home from one of my partners friends than being dumped in an uber.
NTA and you might want to reconsider your friendship with this guy.
And she seriously needs to rethink marrying or even staying with someone so indifferent to her personal safety.
Load More Replies...
His friends mad at him because what he's accusing him of is exactly what the friend himself would do to someone, take advantage of her . That's where the friend gets the idea from his own thought process. Also despicable the friend would leave his Fiancee in a position like that.
I'll say it...Uber drivers absolutely can be bad people. You aren't safe from anyone. She was better off with someone she knew
OP's the only one that behaved like a responsible adult. Ditch these "friends" and move on. NTA
Dude was probably hoping she would get a ride back to THEIR place and was shocked that she went to her parents place instead. Also judging by the argument he’s either a cheater who thinks it’s normal or he’s innocent and thinks she’s projecting onto him. Either way, it’s kinda crappy of him to tell her to find her own ride and then get mad when she does.
NTA f**k your friend he is basically admitting that if he was in the same situation, he would do something with a drunk girl, he is just projecting
Do you know how many sexual assaults would be prevented if someone didn't this for women at bars? I'm not saying men should be taking strange women home without knowing them. But a friend or a friend or a friend seeing this happen & having the compassion to say "hey this could turn out bad! I'm going to step in" & have good intentions & no ulterior motives.. just a man taking a friends intoxicated fiancé home so she didn't run into trouble or get hurt. NTA... I wish you were around when I was in my early 20s. I was irresponsible & trusted ppl to easily & got into the wrong Uber. Woke up on the side of the road. Missing my underwear & wallet. Someone else booked the Uber for me so I had no record of who drove me. The last thing I remember is being put into the Uber by someone, not even sure who. But I'm also 99% sure I was slipped something that night because I only had 2 hard ciders & 1 Jack & ginger. Trust your instincts
Jealousy: being unduly concerned with the preservation of that which can only be lost if not worth keeping.
Her bf sounds like the type of person who thinks people do this c**p behind his back because he would. Those people can't fathom how others are actually loyal and sincere.
Given what their argument was about, I'm pretty sure that's dead on. She was so drunk she couldn't form a coherent sentence, so what the OP did was the right thing. 100%. Putting her in an Uber with a complete stranger would have been dangerous. Maybe he's miffed that the OP got her family involved, because they're probably peeved at him. And they probably asked what the argument was about, and thus are even more angry at him for that. He doesn't even have the excuse that he was drunk at the time, since he was the DD.
Load More Replies... Some people mentioned bad Uber drivers, but even if a good one, if the driver couldn't find the house, what then? After finding the house the lady was so drunk that OP called the sister to come out and help her into the house. An uber driver would have left her on the sidewalk and who knows if she would have made it inside or what. OP driving her home was the only safe option because she was so very drunk.
There have been reports of Uber drivers doing far worse than that.
Load More Replies... No matter how bad the fight is, even if you scream that you break up to each other,you shouldn't leave person alone at night, intoxicated in area like a bar. Be as angry as you want, but make sure that the person gets home safely.
I think that’s why friends/fiancé is being such a jerk. Her family found out he left her alone drunk and vulnerable.
Load More Replies... NTA, but the friend is. The friend as dd told his fiancée to f-off and find her own ride. Well, in the end her ride (OP) found her. The friend is angry with OP for giving her a lift as he thinks she should have got an Uber? Nah. OP's friend either doesn't trust him, or doesn't trust the fiancée, or both. How is OP less trustworthy than a stranger? My guess, the friend suspects that his fiancée is attracted to OP, or the fiancée has made him jealous simply by being grateful to OP for the assistance, and he's taking his jealousy out on OP. I don't think OP should apologise to his friend, but I do think he should consider firstly checking the fiancée is okay given the way his 'friend' is behaving with him and secondly reassess what how good a friend the bloke really is.
I had a friend awhile back, his wife was gorgeous. She asked me one day about well let's just say that it would not have been appropriate. I turned her down and started why. She actually argued that I was his true friend from then on. Notice I said had his jealousy ruined a great friendship. Beginning to wonder if their are actual adults anymore instead of children masquerading as adults.
Load More Replies... So dude got busted flirting with another girl (or something similar) and then got mad when his friend took his incoherent fiancée home because it breaks some sort of guy code? What is this logic? Don't put blackout drunk people in cars with strangers. Actually, don't leave blackout drunk people alone at bars in the first place... idc how bad the fight was, that's the woman you want to spend your life with and you stranded her? Honestly, she's better off with the guy who drove her home.
Why is this even a discussion?!? He absolutely did the right thing and the woman should kick her fiancé to the curb post haste.
OP should also reconsider his friendship with the fiancé. That guy seems to think it is normal to take advantage of intoxicated people to the extent that people will assume that OP took advantage of a drunk acquaintance that he knew was engaged to his friend.
Load More Replies... All of these people, except OP and the girlfriend, are delusional. A guy that knows her and her boyfriend and everyone else can't give a drunk girl a ride home without 'implications' that something might've happened between them? What the f**k. They should all be thanking him that he didn't leave her with some rando uber driver. What is up with these people? I'm also 100% willing to bet that the boyfriend is the type of guy who WOULD actually try to get with someone else's drunk girlfriend during a ride home, because of the way he reacted to OP and left his girlfriend at a bar to fend for herself.
You’re a good man, most likely an Uber driver would have refused to take someone so drunk anyway and then where would she be. Her fiancé is the biggest AH.
As a woman I would definitely prefer getting a ride home from one of my partners friends than being dumped in an uber.
NTA and you might want to reconsider your friendship with this guy.
And she seriously needs to rethink marrying or even staying with someone so indifferent to her personal safety.
Load More Replies... His friends mad at him because what he's accusing him of is exactly what the friend himself would do to someone, take advantage of her . That's where the friend gets the idea from his own thought process. Also despicable the friend would leave his Fiancee in a position like that.
I'll say it...Uber drivers absolutely can be bad people. You aren't safe from anyone. She was better off with someone she knew
OP's the only one that behaved like a responsible adult. Ditch these "friends" and move on. NTA
Dude was probably hoping she would get a ride back to THEIR place and was shocked that she went to her parents place instead. Also judging by the argument he’s either a cheater who thinks it’s normal or he’s innocent and thinks she’s projecting onto him. Either way, it’s kinda crappy of him to tell her to find her own ride and then get mad when she does.
NTA f**k your friend he is basically admitting that if he was in the same situation, he would do something with a drunk girl, he is just projecting
Do you know how many sexual assaults would be prevented if someone didn't this for women at bars? I'm not saying men should be taking strange women home without knowing them. But a friend or a friend or a friend seeing this happen & having the compassion to say "hey this could turn out bad! I'm going to step in" & have good intentions & no ulterior motives.. just a man taking a friends intoxicated fiancé home so she didn't run into trouble or get hurt. NTA... I wish you were around when I was in my early 20s. I was irresponsible & trusted ppl to easily & got into the wrong Uber. Woke up on the side of the road. Missing my underwear & wallet. Someone else booked the Uber for me so I had no record of who drove me. The last thing I remember is being put into the Uber by someone, not even sure who. But I'm also 99% sure I was slipped something that night because I only had 2 hard ciders & 1 Jack & ginger. Trust your instincts
Jealousy: being unduly concerned with the preservation of that which can only be lost if not worth keeping.
58
32