Wife Asks Her Husband To Turn Down “Dream Job” For The Sake Of Her Career, Or She’ll Divorce Him
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It’s quite a challenge to maintain a happy relationship with someone or even create a family and to have a full-on career. Having it all is not always easy, but for most of us, the help from our friends and family help us to keep moving on. But what to do if one day your significant other decides that their career is more important than your relationship?
This situation occurred to one Reddit user who asked whether she did the right thing by asking her husband not to go for this job opportunity because it would put her whole career at risk. The woman was very stingy with details about what she does and where but it only makes it sound more serious about how important her work is.
More Info: Reddit
Dream jobs are important, but this woman wants to know if they are more important than family
Image credits: kate hiscock
The main concern in this situation was focused on her husband who decided to go work for a company that is her workplace competitor. Since the user works with sensitive information, she knows that if her workplace does a background check on her and finds out that her husband works at that certain company, it would be the end of her career. Of course, she explained the situation to her husband and asked him not even apply, but he did exactly the opposite of what was asked and of course, was offered the position.
Woman who has a successful carrier wants to know if she’s being right for not letting her husband to take his “Dream Job” because it may sabotage her career
Image credits: u/ThrowRa67129ka90ma
Even before the situation escalated to him almost accepting the job, the wife already warned the husband that in case he agrees with taking the job, they will have to have a divorce, as she cannot risk losing her whole career when he can simply work for some other company. The husband didn’t understand this at all and called her selfish and carrying only about the money. He got into her head so bad that she asked people on Reddit to help her understand whether she really did a horrible thing by raising an ultimatum to her husband: either he accepts this job and loses her or shuts down the proposal and stays in the marriage.
Image credits: u/ThrowRa67129ka90ma
The story got 35.3k points and 5.9k comments saying that she is being right for standing up for herself and something she was working on her whole life. One of the users brought up an interesting point about how the company that was about to hire her husband actually wants him just because of her being in a valuable position at her workplace.
Image credits: u/ThrowRa67129ka90ma
No doubt that there are very different ways on how people manage to combine their family life with work in this sense. Some couples are happy to work together in the same field, some manage to be together not only as a family but as work partners too. I guess we can only be glad for those who manage to stay together through it all. But what is the right thing to do when family interests separate from your work goals?
If you have any thoughts on how to work these kinds of situations in a less painful way, share your ideas in the comments!
Reddit users sharing their thoughts on the matter and it ‘s not something the husband would want to hear
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I was ready to take husband's side when I read the headline...but the wife actually has very good reason for her "demands". It's amazing that her company will help her with her legal fees. The husband calls her heartless and selfish, but it is actually him that is......in my opinion at least
Upvote ! One thing these headlines have taught me is to read the article. Never thought myself to be a quick judger but oh boy I am. The lady was right to be upset, and if the guy's reaction as portrayed accurately, she made the only correct choice
I agree! I used to only read headlines if I was in a hurry but I eventually learned not to do that lol
Even if it was slightly different i don't understand why we have to take the husband's side anyway! Women are quitting their jobs for their husbands all the time for years! We are compromising a lot more so even if it wasn't so critical for him to reject this job i would still support the wife cause I'm tired of this idea that women need to step back and ruin their career for men
I agree. This is a rough one, because not taking a dream job is TOUGH. But if he can take other jobs in the same industry, surely that's good enough? I do think that Mirianda666 saying that it's always wrong to prioritize a career over a relationship is an argument FOR the husband, though. He is looking at his own career and saying it's more important than his relationship. It's a shame to throw away a good marriage, but what if they were going to break up in 2 years anyway? It's just... this sucks all around. But the wife is making reasonable demands. :(
Same. I thought she was so selfish. But no. What a twat of a man.
I was happy to take her side until I read this statement "I told him he could decline the offer, w/me watching him physically decline it" and concluded, there are problems there that no job is going to fix, whether its his or hers!
She told him in advance why this job would destroy her career and he WENT BEHIND HER BACK and applied anyway. I think that gives her grounds to want actual proof he has declined the job, otherwise he'll just say he's going to and take it anyway. I'd agree with you if he hadn't already shown he's willing to be deceptive to pursue this path.
I get why she said that. He had already gone behind her back once. Chances are he would again.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. She can't trust him as he went behind her back and did something they already discussed he wouldn't do. If my husband did that we'd have a long way to go to build that trust again and I'm talking years. We don't do that to each other, it would be a big shock and blow and I would have to re-evaluate his character. But as is, I feel safe with my husband and trust him to be honest. A marriage without trust is going to have all sorts of problems, not just this one.
He already went behind her back with this job, I can see why she would want to know that he was rejecting the job.
Joe Reaves I don't think Rob was saying her needing to watch him decline it was the problem, but that it was necessary for her to do so. Meaning the husband is in the wrong for being untrustworthy.
my thoughts exactly
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Of course we aren't getting anything close to the whole story. There is one huge elephant in the room that the wife ignores.... She'd be extremely valuable to the company that her husband applied for. Since she never mentions that, I suspect that would be a viable alternative, but because she doesn't want to work there, she doesn't address it. You can imagine all the non-competes you want, but the omission of addressing that detail makes me skeptical of the whole story.
Firstly, he almost certainly has a clause in her contract stopping her working for a direct competitor without a gap. Secondly, if she takes confidential information to a competitor there is no reason or them to think she wouldn't take their information and do the same so they would never trust her. Her career would be over.
So she should leave a job she obviously enjoys, probably loves, because of a selfish man? Also, there is probably a clause in her contract saying she can't and she would most definitely be sued if she was found to go there and then pass on information.
NTA, you set boundaries, he violated them, need I say further?
I'm not sure what dukethedog said as he's already deleted it, but good on both of you for admitting your comments were rash/hostile and disagreeing politely. :)
Yeah I have a tendency to instantly jump to making very clearly snarky/sarcastic responses to things I deem unfit, then regret them however many hours later lol
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Because she gets to set the boundaries in his life without his agreement? Thought it was husband wife not master and slave we were discussing but I guess I was wrong.
This isn't a case of boundaries being set by one person, this is a case of one person pointing out all the problems the other person is going to create by going forward... and being ignored. The husband is not only ignoring the wife's career needs, he seems to be ignoring the need to make more than 65K to live "in this city"! So he's not just putting his personal and career needs ahead of those of his spouse, which is undeniable, he seems to be totally ignoring all the financial issues. Which may sink in once he moves out and tries to live on 65K in a big city.
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This comment has been deleted.
Ooh, always up for this, let’s hear your side of the story!
I take back what I said it was rash but their both not so great people as if they were really in love both would give in to the other side.
dukethedog, Alright mate, we all do stupid stuff, apologies as my comment seemed a little hostile reading it out loud
*grabs snacks* Here, Rex *gives some of the snacks* I can't wait to hear this.
same, this should be good if they talk
welp I'm late to the party
lmao here *gives some snacks*
thank you I am starving
np
*gives snacks*
Whoever wrote this title please fix it it's so misleading
True, it makes her come off as shallow and selfish. It's a lot more complex than that.
It's a click bait technique. Create the most intriguing title you can without being technically inaccurate. Yes, I hate it too.
I'm fairly sure the title-writers do that on purpose, to like, make you do a 180 when you're reading, so you give it a more in-depth consideration. Or they could like creating drama. Either or.
and PLEASE fix all of the spelling and punctuation errors too.
They sell adverts around ripped off posts from other websites. Why on earth would they care about spelling an punctuation? There was an entire cake recipe accidentally pasted into one 'article' I read some months back. This isn't a serious site, it's literally to sell adverts.
I was ready to take husband's side when I read the headline...but the wife actually has very good reason for her "demands". It's amazing that her company will help her with her legal fees. The husband calls her heartless and selfish, but it is actually him that is......in my opinion at least
Upvote ! One thing these headlines have taught me is to read the article. Never thought myself to be a quick judger but oh boy I am. The lady was right to be upset, and if the guy's reaction as portrayed accurately, she made the only correct choice
I agree! I used to only read headlines if I was in a hurry but I eventually learned not to do that lol
Even if it was slightly different i don't understand why we have to take the husband's side anyway! Women are quitting their jobs for their husbands all the time for years! We are compromising a lot more so even if it wasn't so critical for him to reject this job i would still support the wife cause I'm tired of this idea that women need to step back and ruin their career for men
I agree. This is a rough one, because not taking a dream job is TOUGH. But if he can take other jobs in the same industry, surely that's good enough? I do think that Mirianda666 saying that it's always wrong to prioritize a career over a relationship is an argument FOR the husband, though. He is looking at his own career and saying it's more important than his relationship. It's a shame to throw away a good marriage, but what if they were going to break up in 2 years anyway? It's just... this sucks all around. But the wife is making reasonable demands. :(
Same. I thought she was so selfish. But no. What a twat of a man.
I was happy to take her side until I read this statement "I told him he could decline the offer, w/me watching him physically decline it" and concluded, there are problems there that no job is going to fix, whether its his or hers!
She told him in advance why this job would destroy her career and he WENT BEHIND HER BACK and applied anyway. I think that gives her grounds to want actual proof he has declined the job, otherwise he'll just say he's going to and take it anyway. I'd agree with you if he hadn't already shown he's willing to be deceptive to pursue this path.
I get why she said that. He had already gone behind her back once. Chances are he would again.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. She can't trust him as he went behind her back and did something they already discussed he wouldn't do. If my husband did that we'd have a long way to go to build that trust again and I'm talking years. We don't do that to each other, it would be a big shock and blow and I would have to re-evaluate his character. But as is, I feel safe with my husband and trust him to be honest. A marriage without trust is going to have all sorts of problems, not just this one.
He already went behind her back with this job, I can see why she would want to know that he was rejecting the job.
Joe Reaves I don't think Rob was saying her needing to watch him decline it was the problem, but that it was necessary for her to do so. Meaning the husband is in the wrong for being untrustworthy.
my thoughts exactly
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Of course we aren't getting anything close to the whole story. There is one huge elephant in the room that the wife ignores.... She'd be extremely valuable to the company that her husband applied for. Since she never mentions that, I suspect that would be a viable alternative, but because she doesn't want to work there, she doesn't address it. You can imagine all the non-competes you want, but the omission of addressing that detail makes me skeptical of the whole story.
Firstly, he almost certainly has a clause in her contract stopping her working for a direct competitor without a gap. Secondly, if she takes confidential information to a competitor there is no reason or them to think she wouldn't take their information and do the same so they would never trust her. Her career would be over.
So she should leave a job she obviously enjoys, probably loves, because of a selfish man? Also, there is probably a clause in her contract saying she can't and she would most definitely be sued if she was found to go there and then pass on information.
NTA, you set boundaries, he violated them, need I say further?
I'm not sure what dukethedog said as he's already deleted it, but good on both of you for admitting your comments were rash/hostile and disagreeing politely. :)
Yeah I have a tendency to instantly jump to making very clearly snarky/sarcastic responses to things I deem unfit, then regret them however many hours later lol
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Because she gets to set the boundaries in his life without his agreement? Thought it was husband wife not master and slave we were discussing but I guess I was wrong.
This isn't a case of boundaries being set by one person, this is a case of one person pointing out all the problems the other person is going to create by going forward... and being ignored. The husband is not only ignoring the wife's career needs, he seems to be ignoring the need to make more than 65K to live "in this city"! So he's not just putting his personal and career needs ahead of those of his spouse, which is undeniable, he seems to be totally ignoring all the financial issues. Which may sink in once he moves out and tries to live on 65K in a big city.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
This comment has been deleted.
Ooh, always up for this, let’s hear your side of the story!
I take back what I said it was rash but their both not so great people as if they were really in love both would give in to the other side.
dukethedog, Alright mate, we all do stupid stuff, apologies as my comment seemed a little hostile reading it out loud
*grabs snacks* Here, Rex *gives some of the snacks* I can't wait to hear this.
same, this should be good if they talk
welp I'm late to the party
lmao here *gives some snacks*
thank you I am starving
np
*gives snacks*
Whoever wrote this title please fix it it's so misleading
True, it makes her come off as shallow and selfish. It's a lot more complex than that.
It's a click bait technique. Create the most intriguing title you can without being technically inaccurate. Yes, I hate it too.
I'm fairly sure the title-writers do that on purpose, to like, make you do a 180 when you're reading, so you give it a more in-depth consideration. Or they could like creating drama. Either or.
and PLEASE fix all of the spelling and punctuation errors too.
They sell adverts around ripped off posts from other websites. Why on earth would they care about spelling an punctuation? There was an entire cake recipe accidentally pasted into one 'article' I read some months back. This isn't a serious site, it's literally to sell adverts.