Domestically Abused Woman Reveals Texts She Used To Get From Husband, And It’ll Make Your Skin Crawl
Leaving an abusive partner is one of the most difficult choices a victim can make, but for some, telling their story afterwards is even harder. This woman decided to break the silence and share hers, and she’s been met with a viral round of applause.
The woman, an Imgur user who goes by the screen name krissykross, used screenshots of text conversations and written anecdotes to tell the world about ‘Adam,’ her physically, sexually and emotionally abusive ex-husband. “Strangers on the internet are better than keeping it inside for so long,” she wrote about her decision to open up 3 years after the end of it all. Her post has now been viewed over 600 thousand times, and has received an outpouring of support from commentators. “I upvoted because this is insanity and should be seen by more. Glad you’re okay,” one user wrote.
Though this woman was able to escape from her ordeal, it’s estimated by The Huffington Post that at least 3 women are killed by intimate partners each day in the US – over 1 thousand per year. Stories of survival are crucial for current victims who may be afraid to find help, and who may even still be unaware that they’re being abused. Read how krissykross found a way out of her toxic marriage below.
One brave woman decided to share the story of her abusive husband, showing some texts he had sent:
“This is a good example of strings of texts I would get at work while on shift (I am not allowed my phone on the clock.)”
“Tony was a coworker. I knew when he clocked off because it was when I was clocking on. Fella helped me change my tire one time and I was suddenly banging him (apparently.)”
“I stayed the night with a female friend from work. He knew because he “set traps” for me”
“I visit my mother one every couple years. I had a huge bruise on my arm from where my husband had bit me, leaving visible teeth marks. The bruise was so bad it hung around for almost a month. Long enough for a visit to my mothers and to still be photographed by NCIS when I finally turned him several weeks later.”
She continued to share her whole story:
If you or someone you love needs help, don’t be afraid. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233
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Hardest part of domestic violence and abuse is that it is a slow and steady indoctrination into that world. Clearly if this man acted like that early on in the dating, she would not have moved forward. Even now, after all that, she refers to him as "kind, loving man" and she takes the responsibility on her shoulders for losing weight as the trigger point. That man was neither kind or loving. He was most likely an abuser from very early on blaming his actions on her behavior, and she thought she had some control, she didn't. His parents didn't see his behavior as criminal or abusive - probably mirroring their relationship. Leaving an abusive relationship is very hard. Even more so when there are children involved. The abuser will in a lot of instances be granted access to the children, and the children become the portals to continue to abuse, and or victims themselves. Then those children in turn are at risk to continuing the abusive patterns.
That's a good point. Kind and loving people don't just flip and become abusers after someone loses weight. They were abusers from the start just not as overtly.
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That was so brave to finally leave, because I guess many victims would be terrified about not being believed, not managing to leave, and them being "punished" by the violent partner when they find out they told someone what was going on. It's such a sad thing to go through and I can't believe she was told it was "normal" by her father in law. If I was being abusive, my mother would be the first to tell me I had a problem and need help to find ways to solve my own issues instead of being abusive and violent towards someone else.
When my sister was going through her abusive relationship with her now ex-husband, my mom and I kept with her about getting away from him. Never leading her to believe what was happening to her was safe or normal, and she should consider her life and her kids lives. We eventually succeeded in convincing her to divorce him. But he tried it. Tried separating her from us, and threatening us, and so forth. But no! We were trying to save my sisters life. He didn't stand a chance.
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I also was in an abusive relationship years ago....I know all to well what you have been through....May God bless you and keep you safe....You are a very strong person, and will eventually learn to love and trust again,,,,,Best of luck to you!!! <3
This is a horrible situation and I'm glad she finally got out of it. I saw a listing for a domestic abuse line and I'd like to remind everyone that men can be victims too. I was in a similar situation to this women and i tried reaching out to two different domestic abuse centers in my area for help and they turned me away. They of course wouldn't admit it but i knew it was because I'm a man. Men aren't seen as the victims
I apologize, that is a horrible thing for them to do. Hope you are out of your unhappy situation too! Good luck and I wish you well!
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Congratulations to her for getting out & moving forward. Love and light to you. I hope I can do the same.
This is an amazing reflection of a woman who did not give up. I can assure you, that it is common only to have a couple of friends during the court case. At least your childhood friends did not ask you if you were making it up like mine did
To those that have gotten out safely, be careful and don't start dating immediately. So often I have watched gals get out of a bad relationship and they are so anxious for someone to "love" them, that they get involved in another relationship. Sometimes new relationship isn't much better. TAKE TIME TO FIND YOURSELF AND BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM! There are more important things to think about than having a bed partner. Too many gals base their relationship on how good the sex is. You should have a good, trusting friendship first... because if you don't have that and, at some point you aren't able to have sex, then you don't have anything! USE COMMON SENSE!
This. My past relationship wasn't physically abusive. In fact, only after having left have I realised how much of a toll it took on me. I became isolated, unable to make even the most simple decisions without panicking and convincing myself that it's the worst decision ever. I'm still in the phase of building myself up, but luckily, I've met someone absolutely brilliant who is 100% there to support me in my journey.
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Unfortunately, these don't make my skin crawl, they make me seriously pissed off.
I feel both, pissed off and seriously creeped! I would f*** murder the dbag who dared to harm animals or hurt a woman. Hope that man never gets kids.
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I have stories of my ex that would make you wonder why I am still alive. There were no domestic violence laws when I was going through the abuse. His family always asked what I did to provoke him.....ummmm I was breathing. Its been 32 years since my divorce, he is on wife #4 and I have never remarried or had any serious relationships.
I'm sorry. He completely destroyed your faith in love. I have had quite a lesson thank God. I now know that not all men are like that and a man only has the power you give him over you. There are ringers to look for that betray their bent to sadism. We need to learn the warning signs. The attempts to control and to belittle in subtle ways when they find you emotionally resistant to their attemts to bend you to their will. The are very charming too, so one has to beware, but one main marker is they have very little empathy for the feelings of others.
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Cannot thank you enough for being brave enough and real enough to post this. I will never forget it as long as I live. Thank you a million times.
i've been in the situation like this, idk that this is mad serious matters. thankfully, i don't stick to him anymore..
My ex wife did the same thing to me. Glad you got out of that situation. I feel your pain.
Glad you also got out of your disastrous situation! Good luck to you! 😃
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I'm going through this right now. The judge ordered a protective order, and the same he was served by sheriff's deputies he was discovered by police in my backyard with a loaded handgun. That was four days ago. The mitigating factor is that he's on drugs, which I didn't discover until he was arrested for breaking my nose and throwing me into a plate-glass frame that cut me badly. He had drugs on him when he was arrested then and this time. The drugs mean I can't anticipate his behavior. Sometimes he's angry and violent with me. Other times he says he's going to kill himself. I never know what's waiting for me from minute to minute. Try holding a salaried professional position and living a normal life then.
Sometimes people are under the impression these services are not for people who are "professional," have some resources or are not entirely alone. But people of all walks of life encounter circumstances like this.
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And yet again a "church" closes its ears and refuses to acknowledge the truth. I am a Christian and utterly ashamed of how they turn their backs and would prefer to side with their own agenda...
I love this comment because you are a Christian who recognizes the difference between being religious and just being inhumane.
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is it a bad thing to say that i would actually enjoy beating such a psycho m**********r with a massive plank until my arms fall off ? then cast 6 ( six ) concrete blocks around his feet - and his parents' - and let them be in the sewer channel, placed just deep enough so that they can breath normally if they stretch properly. That's where trash belongs, certain lines are not to be crossed i feel sick by thinking i share gender with that pile of turd right now, no wonder why some women turn feminazis and look down to us as if we were all junk.
I like this comment so much. I agree with you, the only difference is that I am female. Feminazis are understandable when you read articles like this.
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I didn't realise I'd been in an abusive relationship until we broke up. I'd never had a boyfriend before and didn't know that it wasn't normal. I though it was normal for a girl to do whatever the man said in bed so I complied even though I didn't want to. If I said no I was selfish and hed sulk for days. I was accused of affairs. Had to text when I left the house and when I got to work so he could time me. If I stopped to talk to someone id get a phone call accusing me of lying about work. All I ever wanted was children as I grew up. He strung me along being undecided then told me cruelly that he wanted kids but not with me as I'd make a terrible mother. This was probably because even though I wasn't living with him he expected me to have his house clean and dinner on the table at whatever time he rolled in. I wasn't allowed out with friends. Now he's got a teen pregnant. But I'm engaged to an amazing man with a baby on the way. I'm so much happier than I thought I would ever be. It getsbetter
A normal person never suspect the others . I think he had some serious mental issues and unfortunately these kind of disease are hidden and take time symptoms reveal .
The man clearly has narcissistic disorder. They can't love others, they see them simply as tools to control. Sadly quite common :(
I spent 3 1/2 years in a verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive marriage because I thought it was 'normal' (I grew up with my bio father doing this and more to the women he was with) I still have problems with relationships and I hope one day it will be better but for know I'm happy with my kids :-) good job for leaving!!
What makes me the saddest is seeing more people in the comments that have gone through/are going through something similar. I hate that this happens and that anyone would ever think it is ok or support the culprit in ANY way. Parents that defend their son/daughter when they have clearly been abusive are obviously also to blame for raising their child thinking that it is ok. To anyone going through it alone - I may not have gone though it myself and I may be a stranger, but please feel free to start the conversation if you need someone to talk to. I hope that if more people are willing to listen, we can do something about it together.
Whenever I see a story like this, I don't understand how people can talk to their partner like that. Think about what would happen if you acted this way on your first date. A true gentleman will always remember to respect and give spaces, and expect to be treated the same.
My sister was in the same boat. Her soon-to-be ex, accused her of infidelities (when he was the one doing so), stopped her from contacting her family (my mother, sisters and I), made her work like a slave in their mini mart without pay and hit her everyday. He even threatened to harm the children of her sisters if she tell us of the beatings. Story short, she finally gathered enough courage to run away and now living a good life being single and independent after almost 20 years of misery. For those in the same boat, please know that there are supports and helps to reach out for. God bless you all.
Very glad she escaped her situation. Much luck and well wishes to you all!
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Omg, did we marry the same man? Everything is what happened to me. Tried to leave, he threatened to hurt my kids, held knives to my throat, stalked and gps'd everywhere i went. Thank god you got out, I did too after a hospital visit he sent me in. I would rather be alone, have miserable credit than be in that ever again. Your stronger than you think! way to go.
That is so sad. I cannot understand how people can tolerate treating another living being in such a way. glad that you got out before it was too late.
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You are awesome, lovely, wonderful, strong. Learning to love and accept oneself is the hardest thing in life. But this will be the only suit of amor to protect you from any physical and mental assault. You already did the first step with this post. You will recognize how many people support this ... because you are worth it.
I sat and read this story, the whole time thinking to myself IF cell phones had been around during my first marriage those could have been from my ex husband. He wasn't physically abusive but was mentally abusive and controlling just like the gentleman in these texts. So glad she had the courage to leave AND to share her story. Domestic abuse is still a very real thing around the world and should be shared, discussed, and something done about it. Someone who you though would love and protect you then becomes the person you need protection from.
I understand, I have been there and you are braver that most because it is hard, it isn't just physical it is also mental
Absolutely NOT excusing the behavior, but to me this man sounds as if there are some mental health issues going on here. This doesn't seem like the classic abusive partner who just wants a punching bag. It goes beyond wanting to control her just because he's an a*s...this is grade-A paranoia, the kind of paranoia that will get you locked up and sedated. This has to spread into his other interpersonal relationships.
Definitely looks like there's malignant narcissism there [for which, sadly, there is currently no cure], probably some level of bipolar... borderline personality disorder.... just a grab bag of mentally disordered "fun"! :/
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Wow, thank you for sharing your powerful story and finding the courage to leave and share it online. Not many people in your shoes would do so. Domestic violence and abuse is a touchy issue, and I believe it is fantastic you can share yours albeit anonymously. I strongly believe in that power of online anonymity where we can share powerful stories as this without fear or judgment from others. I'd like to extend invitation to all to Debating Communities and Social Networks Online Conference 2017 where we share articles/topics such as online anonymity amongst others. Do feel free to join in the debate and discussions from 8-26 May. http://www.networkconference.netstudies.org/2017Bentley/
I think it's great that this lady has been able to use anonymity to express her feelings and gain some support. I love that there's still anonymous platforms like Imgur around that support self expression and protection from trolls <3
Load More Replies... I'm proud of you, too. Thank you for doing this. People need to understand what it's like & I hope it helps you further your journey.
I survived 11 years with an abusive man, when I left my credit was c**p, I couldn't trust anyone, I couldn't sleep at night and I couldn't navigate an intimate relationship. That was 2000 when I left, it's 2017 my credit is still c**p, I still have no close friends because the few I let in screwed me over, I still suck at intimate relationships and get dumped in 1 to 2 years, I still can't sleep. But everyone sees a strong accomplished nurse who survived and is kind and loving. I have ptsd I know and I also know I will never be right and I know I will always be alone. But I'm getting better at being ok with that. It takes time
Im proud of you. My relationships might always be a little f****d up due to certain things from the past, but I've almost fixed my sleep issues, I'm seeing a therapist, and almost paid off all my debt. Stay strong!!
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My ex was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive. He also treated his poor mother and sister like s**t too. I was 18 (he was 20) when we started dating and he was so great until we moved in together then his true colors came out. I wasn't even allowed to take a shower without him being in the room with me. He forced me to do things I didn't want. I was too scared to leave he always said he would kill me. I had to have a lot help and support to get away from him. He stalked me for a while after that. I had to go the police to get him to leave me alone. Domestic abuse is very hard and it is very scary! If you think you are in danger PLEASE seek help!!!!
Congratulations for leaving such a pos. I left an abusive relationship 7 years ago and my children and i haven never been happier!😙 i catch myself falling back into a victim role sometimes with him as he is my sons father and he still is verbally abusive so I've now cut all ties with him. If you are in an abusive relationship, it's a terrible thing to attempt to get the strength to leave and i highly recommend therapy afterwards, but you are strong and can make it on your own!🕉❤✌
I'm a guy and I've seen this c**p most of my adult life. Guys can be totally duplicitous at the beginning of a relationship then reveal themselves for the monsters they are after the wedding. Unfortunately, law enforcement people don't like to get involved in these situations and often accuse the victim, making the situation more dangerous. Too many women die at the hands of their abuser because law enforcement is slow or reluctant to act.
Uuugh, these kinds of stories make my blood boil INSTANTLY. I have absolutely zero respect for abusive spouses, and to such an insane degree as this? I have no shame in saying I would prefer to see these people locked up—or better yet, dead. They are the scum of the earth and deserve absolutely nothing. Good on this woman for having the courage to leave such a horrible situation and make a better life for herself.
I went through the same thing. The coward took his life when I had the guts to do something about it. In a way its a blessing, I wont be tortured for the rest of my life. Life is good.
for the guy who said it was fake... you should be ashamed of yourself! what if that was your daughter, your mother, or your sister that was experiencing this abuse? Would it be fake then? I think what you said is not only disrespectful, but inconsiderate.
My ex was exactly the same. I had to leave the country for a few months and I moved 3 hours away from him. If I had stayed I would be death. And the worse part I felt guilty about leaving him and missed him so bad. Now I am raising our son alone, he is the reason I fought back and could say no more. I didn't want him to grow op in an environment like that and maybe even get abused too. Also I was so scared that my ex would hit my belly, so I would get a miscarriage. Because one moment he was happy and the second moment It wasn't his and I was a s**t. At this moment I don't trust men att all, one day I will meet a great men I am sure. Till that day I just enjoy being there for my son and my work. Wich is helping other women like me.
I've seen this story pop up a lot over the past few days and I have to point out something that has really confused me about it. The woman's responses to the abuse (in the green text bubbles) have all been edited. It's difficult to look past and hinders the credibility of her very important story. I just don't understand why she (or the editors) have done this? Nothing she could say would warrant this type of treatment. Show the whole truth. It's crucial to reaching others who need inspiration to not hide anymore.
I've just noticed the same think Kaitlyn. The font is totally different to what it should be and you can see the faint blue line around the green bubble meaning the original was an iMessage, not text message. Why alter it?
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My mother moved my three year old, at the time, sister and I to arizona in about 2013 or so. She got a new job, made a "friend" and he slept at our apartment three days later. He started to hit her and give her bruizes all over. I didn't really know what was happening at the time, because I was only six. We moved into his sister's house, leaving my school too. I had to keep moving from schools, I had been to 5 schools in just those three or so years. He, we'll call him Garret, abused my sister and mother. He brainwashed us into thinking that my grandparent's and sister's father are bad people and just wanted to harm us. He sexually, mentally and physically abused my mother and sister. Not me. One time, at about 1 in the morning, he was drunk, and he started to go crazy, my mom had to lock the three of us in my room that night, just so that he wouldn't kill us. He was in the marines, so he had all of his guns with him. He broke my door and we had to exape through the window. No shoes.
$10, keys, and nothing else. He pointed a gun to my mom's head in front of my 4 year old sister and I. He grabbed her hair and threw her against the garrage door and into the rocks. He let go for a split second and she bolted to the car, put us in it and started to drive away. When she got to the next stop-sign, I told her that we had to go and get the dog walker. Turns out, he threw him out the window by his tail and walker waited for us to get him. Walker was 12, he could have got injured. We had to spend the night at a gas station for 2 days. She told nobody but her mom. They got back together. About a year later, we were living at the same house, same people, same dog. One time, he rolled my sister in a blanket, to where she could suffocate, under the bed. My grandma file court orders, we got taken away from the situation. I am now 11. That was when I was 7! Still traumatizing! I can't see my mother for she is still with him, 2 more kids, judges said they just have to work it out
Load More Replies... Glad she left that abusive ex behind. So sad that a lot of abused women don't get the support they need. People don't even believe them or undercut their situation. Some even ignore the abuse and call it normal husband/partner behavior. It's really sick how some people get away with abusive behavior.
The 3 fingers should of been the middle finger follow by the victory sign.
By "humanely" I hope you mean "removed with a rusty hatchet wielded by a human". With no pain relief.
Load More Replies... It's very sad to see people, and other living beings go through such an awful thing. Very happy this woman got out of that abusive marriage. I can't imagine having to go through such an awful period. My best advice would be to be thankful that you're alive and well now, and that you're free from this demon.
the demand to show me a picture within 5 minutes...I would have said "I'm only doing this once. if I do, we're divorcing." that's the deal.
I mean, sure, and then the guy shows up at your work with his loaded gun (like the OP said he used to do).
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Can you use this kind of stuff as evidence for the police, by the way? Like if they needed to prove that you were being abused? I'm not sure how it works.
Not sure what country this was in. If the UK, yes, probably, as it is evidence of coercive control which is an offence.
Load More Replies... My mom is going through this right now. She's scared to leave him because my younger brother might 'miss him' or something. I already hate my father for the way he treated my mom. They were arguing a week or so ago and I intervened, screaming at them to stop. I couldn't stop crying. My mom told my brother and I to grab our things and that we were leaving to stay at my older brothers house (he moved out a few months ago, as soon as he graduated). My dad took the car keys and called his brother, my uncle, and told him everything that happened. He thinks my uncle can change my moms mind. He gave my mom the phone and my mom let out loose all the c**p she was holding in, saying how he wouldn't be able to change her mind. I went to the kitchen to grab some stuff I left there, when my dad tried to speak to me. He was saying 'Am I your father? If so, aren't you supposed to ask me for permission when you want to go somewhere?' I ignored him and tried to walk past him but he stopped me.
He said 'Did I start the argument, or your mom?' while smiling. I obviously said 'You did.' He continued smiling and asked 'Who was yelling first, me or your mom?' And even though it was my mom that yelled first, I couldn't hold my words back anymore and told him how disrespectful he is, and how no matter how nice my mom is, he's still a d*ck. His smile flipped into a glare, and he called me a 'disrespectful b***h' and pushed me out of the way. We never got the keys, but now my mom and younger brother are both sleeping in my room, door always locked. My dads rarely speaking to me, yet he gets pissed when I don't say good morning. He still tries to be controlling like 'Why is your door locked?' But now that my mom wants to leave him, I don't bother holding a nice facade.
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As a licensed mental health counselor, I have worked with victims and perpetrators of domestic violence for over 25 years. Sadly, your story is similar to the many I've heard over that time period. What women and men victims nearly always report is that the emotional and psychological abuse is worse than the physical abuse. They would rather feel the physical pain and suffer the bruises and cuts from being hit, slapped, dragged, pushed down, etc. than undergo the constant belittlement, mind games, stalking, social isolation, threats, control and general diminishment that abusers inflict upon them. Physical bruises and cuts are easier to see than the emotional and psychological wounds that regular terrorization creates. I'm glad you told your story. It takes courage. But please keep telling it whenever you get the chance. You never know who will benefit from hearing about your survival, resilience and growth.
It doesn't surprise me that her abuser was military and that he got off as easily as he did. The military will never take domestic abuse seriously. They always stand by the abusive service member. It's no wonder why we keep it secret, why stories like mine never get old, because who would believe it? Who would listen. But I say Kudos to this woman for getting the hell out of there, and for having the courage to tell her story.
Sad that back in the day it was normal an just swept under the bridge. Im happy you "woke up" one day an got out!
This is completely like my ex, Greg Z. I thank those who supported me emotionally, mentally, AND financially to help me get out of that situation.
Last month was my anniversary of breaking-up with the guy, who used verbal violence against me and tried to control me (yup, I had founded out, that he was a control-freak). The beginning was really nice: Mailing each other (different cities because of his job & my studies), calling, meeting from time to time, living together at summer time, spending together xmass, dates etc... And in the middle of all that stuff, he tried to separate me from my friends and familly. And anytime I was sending him texts like "Oh, I got a break now in the middle of my classes at the university, time to stop by a mcdonald with friends : )" (this is just an example), he was replying with the sentences like "Ohhhh so you are going somwhere with some guys right? Maybe you will get after food some alcohol and then be druuuuunk" (which was unlogical, because I'm not drinking too often to be honest). This is just a small part of the problem. While the time was passing, he used to force me to some stuff....
PS: Some of my comments are not in the right chronology, so I'm sorry for that. Have a nice day people ~
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"I tried talking to his parents and thy told me it was normal in a young marriage." And the father who taught his son assault, violence and sadistic behaviour is a pastor. How nice.
Who WILL put up with that animal of a man! I'm glad it's over for you. He is clearly a psychopath!
Wow, what a piece of human garbage. This is probably not the right thing to say, but I hope someone smashed his whole body with a baseball bat.
That's awesome that U got out of that kuddos to U gf I hope U pat urself on the shoulder every day for the courage and strength to walk away
I would never put up with that kind of abuse. My father was like that; I cut all bonds with him as soon as I moved away from home. Sadly it took my mother 10 years to do the same.
i can't see any reason why anyone would doubt you after reading these texts and as for your ex i pity him for having such a foul controlling temperament.
Ohmygod, I can not believe she didn't divorce him sooner. This woman truly had to go through something horrible. I can not believe there are people like him out there. Heck I'm certain he did all the things he blamed her for. She is truly a strong woman, I hope everything will go for the better for her from now on.
She couldn't divorce him sooner. It takes so much mental effort to get out of these abusive relationships, especially when they threaten you
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You should have left even before he hurt your pets. When somebody does.not let you be yourself, you should not plan on spending your live with him/her
i wish i had a way out...im trapped here, i have a terminally ill child that i physically cannot care for without his help, and hes basically holding me hostage..i have no possession of my bank cards, even my drivers license...his car is up to date and legal, i have no insurance, no tags, and im not allowed to use "his" car, either. its a f*****g nightmare. i am at a total loss. i found the house we are leasing by pure accident, it is insanely expensive where i live, there would be no hope for me if i left, i make too much to qualify for assistance, but too little to have several thousand saved back for rent/deposit. i just want it to be over, i cant take anymore of this.
I know this is 4 years late and idk of you’ll see my reply. I left a physical and mentally abusive relationship about 2 years ago. He was a alcoholic, he always blamed his actions on the alcohol. I believed that too. It wasn’t until shortly after I left the relationship that I really did a lot of thinking and realized the things he did and and said when he was sober, and I remember that when we would be out in public or around friends and he was drunk he would act so Nice and would never show his abusive side in front of others , but the moment we got home or were alone a switch would flip and he would be violent and aggressive. So I realized if he could control and turn off the abuse when others were around ,that means he had control of it. He made me believe he had no control and the alcohol was causing his actions . Yes alcohol definitely added fuel to the fire and increased the aggression but he is a abuser with or without the alcohol.
The second toughest part is that he is/was military. The absolute toughest part is what branch I suspect he was in. If I am correct, then I feel for her more deeply than anyone not a part of that branch can know. I survived many things while enlisted, only to get out and have 2 failed marriages because I couldn't seem to recognize my own worth. It wasn't until I gave in and moved to the place I really didn't want to be that I began to find my value again. The veteran community here is very strong. We even invite spouses to join our activities so that they can feel included. I am so proud of you sister for taking back your life. Stand tall and proud because we are stronger together.
I think you are very brave and a lot of people in abusive relationships will thank you for helping them to leave their abuser. I hope you continue in peace and one day will be whole again,
HE HURT THE PETS?!?! I’m sorry, but this whole thing just got a lot worse...
I love how far you've come. It's not easy going through that. Im happy your doing better and you still have a positive mind set :)
What a nasty piece of work. It gets to me how this type of person can always get people to believe their side of the story whilst the victim is demonised.
People testified the asshat husband was a great guy because that is what they WANTED to think. They may well have known what a monster he is but had to suppress that knowledge even from themselves because it didn't fit their script.
I think there's something particularly important here. This guy (and I use the term loosely) is pathetic. Not like feel sorry for him, not like "oh poor misunderstood guy he doesn't know how to show love" but a craven insecure wretch. He needs constant reassurance that she's being faithful, constantly suspects every text is rooted in distrust born of fear. He's a craven coward who can't accept the idea a woman would "betray" him asserting what pathetic control he can. I think he's a sad pathetic pos who had a woman far better then he deserves (that she had the courage to walk away when so many others in the same situation tragicly stay far to long speaks volumes about who at the end deserves respect and who was a sad pos.
I hate this story for the a*s hole who did this to a human being. For the woman who had the courage to turn and walk away from him, to take the bastard to court and make him face justice and to share her story I have nothing but respect.
You are a brave person. It doesnt matter what others think about this. You will move on with your life and hopefully heal from the inner and outer scars this person that put on you. I hope that by you posting this you have helped others who deal with the same kinds of things you had to endure. No one owns anyone and no one should be kept as a prisoner and be put through what you had to go through. I am sorry for the time you have spent having to go through this. I hope God gives you the strength to keep moving on and making a better life for yourself. You did the right thing and dont ever doubt that. You are a strong person and you will survive and hopefully help others!
She is a brave woman, and that criminal man got the punishment. But there are many man and woman who are still getting beating from their spouses. They need support, and we should create the support system around us.
Not much I can add as the comments your received pretty much says what I think. There are women out there who need to hear your story. It may just give them the strength they need to get out of their abuse. Some women don't have bruises on the outside. Theirs are on the inside, and they keep silent. It's heart breaking. Thank you for sharing 🙏
I myself right out of high school married an abusive man . They are sweet in the beginning until the jealousy & controlling starts, then the changing begins. Not only was he abusive but , putting his socks away in his drawer there was a whole bag of pills & also girls would knock on my front door asking for him that's when I thought that I really did not know this person & what a mistake I made in marrying him. After being punched & thrown around I dicided to stand up for myself & beat the holy c**p out of him. I moved out & went in hiding then ran into him in a dance hall. Trying to control me & threaten me I then jumped in my car & he tried to stop me by getting in front of my car so, I hit him with my car. I then knew it was an endless battle & I moved to the west , wrote up my own divorce & that was that. Am married now for 35 yrs , only was with him for 5 months-so you see there is happiness-you are strong & you are nobody's human punching bag - so leave & get out of it.
I was interested in the story but if you look at the screen shots you can see the faint blue line around the green text box and the font is totally different from the senders. The original iMessage reply has been superimposed over! Why alter the original messages?
My Daughter now 42 was 33 when she was shot in the head and left rolled in a blanket for 3 days . She had been in a VERY abusive relationship for 2 years. I would beg her to leave and she would tell me he loves me and does not mean to hurt me every time he gets drunk (which became every day. ) on the day it happened she was laying on the floor watching tv( trying to ignore him in his drunken rage) and she was propped on her right arm on her side, and he was on the couch behind her because he had made her get off the couch. He shot her in the back of the head , rolled her in a quilt and left her laying for 3 days. He would not let me talk to her and was telling me If i came there he would fill me and my car full of bullets and that she could talk to me when he was ready to let her. After 3 days of not hearing from her I finally convinced the sheriffs department to do a welfare check and they found her . She survived but she now has the mind of a 5 year old and is permanently paralyzed
Thank you for sharing these. When I saw this post, my heart sank because I keep similar texts from my ex. Even though it was the most horrifying painful experiences in my life, I still count myself lucky because I am alive. This was all due to my support system who knew I was in trouble even though I kept mum about it. He isolated me and whittled down my social circle to just him. I had zero male contact and if I ever went out with a girlfriend or a relative without him, I had to send photographic evidence. You will never think this would happen to you. Like one of the comments below, it's a slow and steady indoctrination. It was when I was down on my knees in front of him, my body and limbs numb from his kicks and slaps, my face and hair covered in his spit that I realize, this was not normal. What some people don't understand is that, it's hard to leave an abusive partner because of the fear of repercussions. There are moments where I actually think he would kill me.
What kind of messed up parents did he have to condone ever hurting your spouse? Sick freaks. Hope you tarnished his record good in the army.
Many abusers are such because they were abused themselves as children. It's called the cycle of abuse, when a victim becomes an abuser. Some have a mental illness such as being a narcissist, sociopath or a psychopath.
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Good on you for having the strength to leave. I as a Male never understand why Women stay in abusive relationships. I understand there is alot happening behind the scenes and all isn't just black and white... But if someone really loves you they will never hurt you. Again great you got out. I'm sure the future ahead will be bright and full with love... And if you haven't already you will eventually meet the right Man who will treat you the way all good Women deserve to be treated. Wishing you all the best.
I've never been in a physical abusive relationship but verbal but I can understand it can be hard to leave because alot of men first of all aren't romantic or care who you with or where you are so if a woman who's never felt wanted gets with an abusive man who takes care of her financially and wants to know where she is at all times maybe appealing I can admit what made me leave my verbally abusive bf wasn't his abuse was his lack of effort and he didn't want me bringing him around my friends and I couldn't come over but now I'm in a happy healthy relationship no verbal abuse no physical cherishes me but it took me my whole life to find a good man it's hard so I do sympathize with abused victims we all want love it's hard when a guy is nice to you works at a good job takes care of the kids but he beats you ppl judge but easier said then done
you are a amazing woman because you took a stand for yourself and everybody who loved was beside you. Believe me I have seen cases where even taking action doesn't count, those women ended up in this hell again c*x their families were not willing and they had no mean to survive except for their husband.
Same. My last ex was controlling and I didn't even realize it until after I broke up with him and saw how desperate he was to get back together, he even punched a window and sent me snaps of his bloody hand in an attempt to convince me!
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Good for you! Always follow your gut. You are strong and capable, and you don't need a man to make you complete! Good luck!
What a f*****g evil parasite. Way too many of them exist on this planet. Ladies, fine tune your antenna's & get the hell away from mentally f****d up creeps like this, ASAP. Please.
So powerful on its own, but mentioned in the story at the end is her ex-husband is military. I'm glad this is being shared because I have seen it in the navy - The servicemembers that go to work and are "so nice and hardworking. Well put-together, loving" and the list goes on so their spouses are even more scared to go to the authorities, thinking that they don't matter, only their servicemember spouse does and that is just absolutely NOT the case! I hope your story can reach women (and men, the like!) to know that it is not right, no matter who your spouse is! I'm glad you are free and able to live your life happily and without the pain. *Side note - super glad the pets are safe too!* People forget the animal abuse sometimes in these cases.
Thank you for sharing this! It's so important for women of any kind of abuse to speak out. I want to let you know that I am so so proud of you for getting out of this relationship and moving forward with your life. You are strong and beautiful and you deserve all of the best the world has to offer. Good luck with all of your future endeavors; you will do amazing things because no one can stop you!
From what it looks like yeah this is pretty s****y, think about it like this too, and I know this is not always the chase but for a few guys it is too that this happens with. The girls could have cheated and completely broke the trust they had in their relationship, and the girl begs him to stay saying it wont happen again or whatever, and the guy is stupid enough to stay and try. I'm sure he would be like that and ask those kinds of texts and what not, it would be hard to believe anything they say. Like I said I know this isnt always the case, but it does happen.
you want closure? it's pretty obvious. men who abuse women are insecure... on a whole other level of crazy. it doesn't matter if they loved you or if they were nice to you in the past. they believe in their discusting minds they are doing the right thing by beating you. they see it as a way to control you and also see it as love. but it isn't love. it's weakness, insecurity, mental instability. never blame yourself for someone else#s actions, it is their actions... they have the power to control themselves. we don't
I am so glad you and your beloved pets are safe. Sending hugs from us here in Australia.
So wait ncis is real? That said im so proud of her being strong.
That kind of makes me sad to see that he had so many character witnesses during his trial, while you only had 1 friend supporting you. On a much smaller scale, I can relate to that kind of thing. When I was 21, I went through a break-up (not an abusive relationship, but an emotionally tough break-up nonetheless). The girl and I had several friends in common, so naturally these friends chose sides. The 2 friends who had a front-row seat to the events leading up to the break-up seemed mostly to take my side, but most of the others took hers (although I still remained on mostly friendly terms with most of these friends). That was back in 2005. Fast-forward to the present -- my x-girlfriend does not talk to ANY of those friends anymore (in fact, some have had outright falling outs with her), but I'm still on good terms with all of them! The moral of the comment/story is this: in the long-run, a person's true character shines through, and others will ultimately see the REAL you in the end
When he asked for the three fingers, I would have sent him my middle finger. lmao
This is absolutely disgusting and more people need to be aware of it, but I kind of want to point out that Huffington Post is definitely not a good source for statistics on this kind of thing, they're notorious for fabricating statistics for things like this. Anyone got any reliable statistics? Something reliable would definitely hit a lot harder, especially since the number shouldn't be any more than 0 anyway.
It's a shame that his name and location, along with his photo couldn't be published. It would be great that anyone who wanted to kick the s**t out of him could do so any time they wanted.
Am speechless. Kudos to you for sharing - some are too weak to do so. You are saving a few right now!
Useful in perhaps a tiny way, but it models self-hate and mindless submission without any self-awareness, so is overall negative.
I mean, I dunno about anyone else, but as a woman myself I see that behavior as unhealthy as well. It gets labeled as "clingy" but I agree that it's a clear sign of mistrust and an unhealthy obsession. Not everyone thinks it's cute. Regardless of sex or gender, stalking and monitoring the person you "love" is extremely unhealthy.
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It's probably either a different OS than what you use, or they were edited together for the purposes of display.
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Well actually, take back what I've said about "even if", I think you're clearly misinformed about abusers and their behavior and siding with them only makes you part of the abuse making you complicit.
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Hardest part of domestic violence and abuse is that it is a slow and steady indoctrination into that world. Clearly if this man acted like that early on in the dating, she would not have moved forward. Even now, after all that, she refers to him as "kind, loving man" and she takes the responsibility on her shoulders for losing weight as the trigger point. That man was neither kind or loving. He was most likely an abuser from very early on blaming his actions on her behavior, and she thought she had some control, she didn't. His parents didn't see his behavior as criminal or abusive - probably mirroring their relationship. Leaving an abusive relationship is very hard. Even more so when there are children involved. The abuser will in a lot of instances be granted access to the children, and the children become the portals to continue to abuse, and or victims themselves. Then those children in turn are at risk to continuing the abusive patterns.
That's a good point. Kind and loving people don't just flip and become abusers after someone loses weight. They were abusers from the start just not as overtly.
Load More Replies... That was so brave to finally leave, because I guess many victims would be terrified about not being believed, not managing to leave, and them being "punished" by the violent partner when they find out they told someone what was going on. It's such a sad thing to go through and I can't believe she was told it was "normal" by her father in law. If I was being abusive, my mother would be the first to tell me I had a problem and need help to find ways to solve my own issues instead of being abusive and violent towards someone else.
When my sister was going through her abusive relationship with her now ex-husband, my mom and I kept with her about getting away from him. Never leading her to believe what was happening to her was safe or normal, and she should consider her life and her kids lives. We eventually succeeded in convincing her to divorce him. But he tried it. Tried separating her from us, and threatening us, and so forth. But no! We were trying to save my sisters life. He didn't stand a chance.
Load More Replies... I also was in an abusive relationship years ago....I know all to well what you have been through....May God bless you and keep you safe....You are a very strong person, and will eventually learn to love and trust again,,,,,Best of luck to you!!! <3
This is a horrible situation and I'm glad she finally got out of it. I saw a listing for a domestic abuse line and I'd like to remind everyone that men can be victims too. I was in a similar situation to this women and i tried reaching out to two different domestic abuse centers in my area for help and they turned me away. They of course wouldn't admit it but i knew it was because I'm a man. Men aren't seen as the victims
I apologize, that is a horrible thing for them to do. Hope you are out of your unhappy situation too! Good luck and I wish you well!
Load More Replies... Congratulations to her for getting out & moving forward. Love and light to you. I hope I can do the same.
This is an amazing reflection of a woman who did not give up. I can assure you, that it is common only to have a couple of friends during the court case. At least your childhood friends did not ask you if you were making it up like mine did
To those that have gotten out safely, be careful and don't start dating immediately. So often I have watched gals get out of a bad relationship and they are so anxious for someone to "love" them, that they get involved in another relationship. Sometimes new relationship isn't much better. TAKE TIME TO FIND YOURSELF AND BUILD YOUR SELF ESTEEM! There are more important things to think about than having a bed partner. Too many gals base their relationship on how good the sex is. You should have a good, trusting friendship first... because if you don't have that and, at some point you aren't able to have sex, then you don't have anything! USE COMMON SENSE!
This. My past relationship wasn't physically abusive. In fact, only after having left have I realised how much of a toll it took on me. I became isolated, unable to make even the most simple decisions without panicking and convincing myself that it's the worst decision ever. I'm still in the phase of building myself up, but luckily, I've met someone absolutely brilliant who is 100% there to support me in my journey.
Load More Replies... Unfortunately, these don't make my skin crawl, they make me seriously pissed off.
I feel both, pissed off and seriously creeped! I would f*** murder the dbag who dared to harm animals or hurt a woman. Hope that man never gets kids.
Load More Replies... I have stories of my ex that would make you wonder why I am still alive. There were no domestic violence laws when I was going through the abuse. His family always asked what I did to provoke him.....ummmm I was breathing. Its been 32 years since my divorce, he is on wife #4 and I have never remarried or had any serious relationships.
I'm sorry. He completely destroyed your faith in love. I have had quite a lesson thank God. I now know that not all men are like that and a man only has the power you give him over you. There are ringers to look for that betray their bent to sadism. We need to learn the warning signs. The attempts to control and to belittle in subtle ways when they find you emotionally resistant to their attemts to bend you to their will. The are very charming too, so one has to beware, but one main marker is they have very little empathy for the feelings of others.
Load More Replies... Cannot thank you enough for being brave enough and real enough to post this. I will never forget it as long as I live. Thank you a million times.
i've been in the situation like this, idk that this is mad serious matters. thankfully, i don't stick to him anymore..
My ex wife did the same thing to me. Glad you got out of that situation. I feel your pain.
Glad you also got out of your disastrous situation! Good luck to you! 😃
Load More Replies... I'm going through this right now. The judge ordered a protective order, and the same he was served by sheriff's deputies he was discovered by police in my backyard with a loaded handgun. That was four days ago. The mitigating factor is that he's on drugs, which I didn't discover until he was arrested for breaking my nose and throwing me into a plate-glass frame that cut me badly. He had drugs on him when he was arrested then and this time. The drugs mean I can't anticipate his behavior. Sometimes he's angry and violent with me. Other times he says he's going to kill himself. I never know what's waiting for me from minute to minute. Try holding a salaried professional position and living a normal life then.
Sometimes people are under the impression these services are not for people who are "professional," have some resources or are not entirely alone. But people of all walks of life encounter circumstances like this.
Load More Replies... And yet again a "church" closes its ears and refuses to acknowledge the truth. I am a Christian and utterly ashamed of how they turn their backs and would prefer to side with their own agenda...
I love this comment because you are a Christian who recognizes the difference between being religious and just being inhumane.
Load More Replies... is it a bad thing to say that i would actually enjoy beating such a psycho m**********r with a massive plank until my arms fall off ? then cast 6 ( six ) concrete blocks around his feet - and his parents' - and let them be in the sewer channel, placed just deep enough so that they can breath normally if they stretch properly. That's where trash belongs, certain lines are not to be crossed i feel sick by thinking i share gender with that pile of turd right now, no wonder why some women turn feminazis and look down to us as if we were all junk.
I like this comment so much. I agree with you, the only difference is that I am female. Feminazis are understandable when you read articles like this.
Load More Replies... I didn't realise I'd been in an abusive relationship until we broke up. I'd never had a boyfriend before and didn't know that it wasn't normal. I though it was normal for a girl to do whatever the man said in bed so I complied even though I didn't want to. If I said no I was selfish and hed sulk for days. I was accused of affairs. Had to text when I left the house and when I got to work so he could time me. If I stopped to talk to someone id get a phone call accusing me of lying about work. All I ever wanted was children as I grew up. He strung me along being undecided then told me cruelly that he wanted kids but not with me as I'd make a terrible mother. This was probably because even though I wasn't living with him he expected me to have his house clean and dinner on the table at whatever time he rolled in. I wasn't allowed out with friends. Now he's got a teen pregnant. But I'm engaged to an amazing man with a baby on the way. I'm so much happier than I thought I would ever be. It getsbetter
A normal person never suspect the others . I think he had some serious mental issues and unfortunately these kind of disease are hidden and take time symptoms reveal .
The man clearly has narcissistic disorder. They can't love others, they see them simply as tools to control. Sadly quite common :(
I spent 3 1/2 years in a verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive marriage because I thought it was 'normal' (I grew up with my bio father doing this and more to the women he was with) I still have problems with relationships and I hope one day it will be better but for know I'm happy with my kids :-) good job for leaving!!
What makes me the saddest is seeing more people in the comments that have gone through/are going through something similar. I hate that this happens and that anyone would ever think it is ok or support the culprit in ANY way. Parents that defend their son/daughter when they have clearly been abusive are obviously also to blame for raising their child thinking that it is ok. To anyone going through it alone - I may not have gone though it myself and I may be a stranger, but please feel free to start the conversation if you need someone to talk to. I hope that if more people are willing to listen, we can do something about it together.
Whenever I see a story like this, I don't understand how people can talk to their partner like that. Think about what would happen if you acted this way on your first date. A true gentleman will always remember to respect and give spaces, and expect to be treated the same.
My sister was in the same boat. Her soon-to-be ex, accused her of infidelities (when he was the one doing so), stopped her from contacting her family (my mother, sisters and I), made her work like a slave in their mini mart without pay and hit her everyday. He even threatened to harm the children of her sisters if she tell us of the beatings. Story short, she finally gathered enough courage to run away and now living a good life being single and independent after almost 20 years of misery. For those in the same boat, please know that there are supports and helps to reach out for. God bless you all.
Very glad she escaped her situation. Much luck and well wishes to you all!
Load More Replies... Omg, did we marry the same man? Everything is what happened to me. Tried to leave, he threatened to hurt my kids, held knives to my throat, stalked and gps'd everywhere i went. Thank god you got out, I did too after a hospital visit he sent me in. I would rather be alone, have miserable credit than be in that ever again. Your stronger than you think! way to go.
That is so sad. I cannot understand how people can tolerate treating another living being in such a way. glad that you got out before it was too late.
Load More Replies... You are awesome, lovely, wonderful, strong. Learning to love and accept oneself is the hardest thing in life. But this will be the only suit of amor to protect you from any physical and mental assault. You already did the first step with this post. You will recognize how many people support this ... because you are worth it.
I sat and read this story, the whole time thinking to myself IF cell phones had been around during my first marriage those could have been from my ex husband. He wasn't physically abusive but was mentally abusive and controlling just like the gentleman in these texts. So glad she had the courage to leave AND to share her story. Domestic abuse is still a very real thing around the world and should be shared, discussed, and something done about it. Someone who you though would love and protect you then becomes the person you need protection from.
I understand, I have been there and you are braver that most because it is hard, it isn't just physical it is also mental
Absolutely NOT excusing the behavior, but to me this man sounds as if there are some mental health issues going on here. This doesn't seem like the classic abusive partner who just wants a punching bag. It goes beyond wanting to control her just because he's an a*s...this is grade-A paranoia, the kind of paranoia that will get you locked up and sedated. This has to spread into his other interpersonal relationships.
Definitely looks like there's malignant narcissism there [for which, sadly, there is currently no cure], probably some level of bipolar... borderline personality disorder.... just a grab bag of mentally disordered "fun"! :/
Load More Replies... Wow, thank you for sharing your powerful story and finding the courage to leave and share it online. Not many people in your shoes would do so. Domestic violence and abuse is a touchy issue, and I believe it is fantastic you can share yours albeit anonymously. I strongly believe in that power of online anonymity where we can share powerful stories as this without fear or judgment from others. I'd like to extend invitation to all to Debating Communities and Social Networks Online Conference 2017 where we share articles/topics such as online anonymity amongst others. Do feel free to join in the debate and discussions from 8-26 May. http://www.networkconference.netstudies.org/2017Bentley/
I think it's great that this lady has been able to use anonymity to express her feelings and gain some support. I love that there's still anonymous platforms like Imgur around that support self expression and protection from trolls <3
Load More Replies... I'm proud of you, too. Thank you for doing this. People need to understand what it's like & I hope it helps you further your journey.
I survived 11 years with an abusive man, when I left my credit was c**p, I couldn't trust anyone, I couldn't sleep at night and I couldn't navigate an intimate relationship. That was 2000 when I left, it's 2017 my credit is still c**p, I still have no close friends because the few I let in screwed me over, I still suck at intimate relationships and get dumped in 1 to 2 years, I still can't sleep. But everyone sees a strong accomplished nurse who survived and is kind and loving. I have ptsd I know and I also know I will never be right and I know I will always be alone. But I'm getting better at being ok with that. It takes time
Im proud of you. My relationships might always be a little f****d up due to certain things from the past, but I've almost fixed my sleep issues, I'm seeing a therapist, and almost paid off all my debt. Stay strong!!
Load More Replies... My ex was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive. He also treated his poor mother and sister like s**t too. I was 18 (he was 20) when we started dating and he was so great until we moved in together then his true colors came out. I wasn't even allowed to take a shower without him being in the room with me. He forced me to do things I didn't want. I was too scared to leave he always said he would kill me. I had to have a lot help and support to get away from him. He stalked me for a while after that. I had to go the police to get him to leave me alone. Domestic abuse is very hard and it is very scary! If you think you are in danger PLEASE seek help!!!!
Congratulations for leaving such a pos. I left an abusive relationship 7 years ago and my children and i haven never been happier!😙 i catch myself falling back into a victim role sometimes with him as he is my sons father and he still is verbally abusive so I've now cut all ties with him. If you are in an abusive relationship, it's a terrible thing to attempt to get the strength to leave and i highly recommend therapy afterwards, but you are strong and can make it on your own!🕉❤✌
I'm a guy and I've seen this c**p most of my adult life. Guys can be totally duplicitous at the beginning of a relationship then reveal themselves for the monsters they are after the wedding. Unfortunately, law enforcement people don't like to get involved in these situations and often accuse the victim, making the situation more dangerous. Too many women die at the hands of their abuser because law enforcement is slow or reluctant to act.
Uuugh, these kinds of stories make my blood boil INSTANTLY. I have absolutely zero respect for abusive spouses, and to such an insane degree as this? I have no shame in saying I would prefer to see these people locked up—or better yet, dead. They are the scum of the earth and deserve absolutely nothing. Good on this woman for having the courage to leave such a horrible situation and make a better life for herself.
I went through the same thing. The coward took his life when I had the guts to do something about it. In a way its a blessing, I wont be tortured for the rest of my life. Life is good.
for the guy who said it was fake... you should be ashamed of yourself! what if that was your daughter, your mother, or your sister that was experiencing this abuse? Would it be fake then? I think what you said is not only disrespectful, but inconsiderate.
My ex was exactly the same. I had to leave the country for a few months and I moved 3 hours away from him. If I had stayed I would be death. And the worse part I felt guilty about leaving him and missed him so bad. Now I am raising our son alone, he is the reason I fought back and could say no more. I didn't want him to grow op in an environment like that and maybe even get abused too. Also I was so scared that my ex would hit my belly, so I would get a miscarriage. Because one moment he was happy and the second moment It wasn't his and I was a s**t. At this moment I don't trust men att all, one day I will meet a great men I am sure. Till that day I just enjoy being there for my son and my work. Wich is helping other women like me.
I've seen this story pop up a lot over the past few days and I have to point out something that has really confused me about it. The woman's responses to the abuse (in the green text bubbles) have all been edited. It's difficult to look past and hinders the credibility of her very important story. I just don't understand why she (or the editors) have done this? Nothing she could say would warrant this type of treatment. Show the whole truth. It's crucial to reaching others who need inspiration to not hide anymore.
I've just noticed the same think Kaitlyn. The font is totally different to what it should be and you can see the faint blue line around the green bubble meaning the original was an iMessage, not text message. Why alter it?
Load More Replies... My mother moved my three year old, at the time, sister and I to arizona in about 2013 or so. She got a new job, made a "friend" and he slept at our apartment three days later. He started to hit her and give her bruizes all over. I didn't really know what was happening at the time, because I was only six. We moved into his sister's house, leaving my school too. I had to keep moving from schools, I had been to 5 schools in just those three or so years. He, we'll call him Garret, abused my sister and mother. He brainwashed us into thinking that my grandparent's and sister's father are bad people and just wanted to harm us. He sexually, mentally and physically abused my mother and sister. Not me. One time, at about 1 in the morning, he was drunk, and he started to go crazy, my mom had to lock the three of us in my room that night, just so that he wouldn't kill us. He was in the marines, so he had all of his guns with him. He broke my door and we had to exape through the window. No shoes.
$10, keys, and nothing else. He pointed a gun to my mom's head in front of my 4 year old sister and I. He grabbed her hair and threw her against the garrage door and into the rocks. He let go for a split second and she bolted to the car, put us in it and started to drive away. When she got to the next stop-sign, I told her that we had to go and get the dog walker. Turns out, he threw him out the window by his tail and walker waited for us to get him. Walker was 12, he could have got injured. We had to spend the night at a gas station for 2 days. She told nobody but her mom. They got back together. About a year later, we were living at the same house, same people, same dog. One time, he rolled my sister in a blanket, to where she could suffocate, under the bed. My grandma file court orders, we got taken away from the situation. I am now 11. That was when I was 7! Still traumatizing! I can't see my mother for she is still with him, 2 more kids, judges said they just have to work it out
Load More Replies... Glad she left that abusive ex behind. So sad that a lot of abused women don't get the support they need. People don't even believe them or undercut their situation. Some even ignore the abuse and call it normal husband/partner behavior. It's really sick how some people get away with abusive behavior.
The 3 fingers should of been the middle finger follow by the victory sign.
By "humanely" I hope you mean "removed with a rusty hatchet wielded by a human". With no pain relief.
Load More Replies... It's very sad to see people, and other living beings go through such an awful thing. Very happy this woman got out of that abusive marriage. I can't imagine having to go through such an awful period. My best advice would be to be thankful that you're alive and well now, and that you're free from this demon.
the demand to show me a picture within 5 minutes...I would have said "I'm only doing this once. if I do, we're divorcing." that's the deal.
I mean, sure, and then the guy shows up at your work with his loaded gun (like the OP said he used to do).
Load More Replies... Can you use this kind of stuff as evidence for the police, by the way? Like if they needed to prove that you were being abused? I'm not sure how it works.
Not sure what country this was in. If the UK, yes, probably, as it is evidence of coercive control which is an offence.
Load More Replies... My mom is going through this right now. She's scared to leave him because my younger brother might 'miss him' or something. I already hate my father for the way he treated my mom. They were arguing a week or so ago and I intervened, screaming at them to stop. I couldn't stop crying. My mom told my brother and I to grab our things and that we were leaving to stay at my older brothers house (he moved out a few months ago, as soon as he graduated). My dad took the car keys and called his brother, my uncle, and told him everything that happened. He thinks my uncle can change my moms mind. He gave my mom the phone and my mom let out loose all the c**p she was holding in, saying how he wouldn't be able to change her mind. I went to the kitchen to grab some stuff I left there, when my dad tried to speak to me. He was saying 'Am I your father? If so, aren't you supposed to ask me for permission when you want to go somewhere?' I ignored him and tried to walk past him but he stopped me.
He said 'Did I start the argument, or your mom?' while smiling. I obviously said 'You did.' He continued smiling and asked 'Who was yelling first, me or your mom?' And even though it was my mom that yelled first, I couldn't hold my words back anymore and told him how disrespectful he is, and how no matter how nice my mom is, he's still a d*ck. His smile flipped into a glare, and he called me a 'disrespectful b***h' and pushed me out of the way. We never got the keys, but now my mom and younger brother are both sleeping in my room, door always locked. My dads rarely speaking to me, yet he gets pissed when I don't say good morning. He still tries to be controlling like 'Why is your door locked?' But now that my mom wants to leave him, I don't bother holding a nice facade.
Load More Replies... As a licensed mental health counselor, I have worked with victims and perpetrators of domestic violence for over 25 years. Sadly, your story is similar to the many I've heard over that time period. What women and men victims nearly always report is that the emotional and psychological abuse is worse than the physical abuse. They would rather feel the physical pain and suffer the bruises and cuts from being hit, slapped, dragged, pushed down, etc. than undergo the constant belittlement, mind games, stalking, social isolation, threats, control and general diminishment that abusers inflict upon them. Physical bruises and cuts are easier to see than the emotional and psychological wounds that regular terrorization creates. I'm glad you told your story. It takes courage. But please keep telling it whenever you get the chance. You never know who will benefit from hearing about your survival, resilience and growth.
It doesn't surprise me that her abuser was military and that he got off as easily as he did. The military will never take domestic abuse seriously. They always stand by the abusive service member. It's no wonder why we keep it secret, why stories like mine never get old, because who would believe it? Who would listen. But I say Kudos to this woman for getting the hell out of there, and for having the courage to tell her story.
Sad that back in the day it was normal an just swept under the bridge. Im happy you "woke up" one day an got out!
This is completely like my ex, Greg Z. I thank those who supported me emotionally, mentally, AND financially to help me get out of that situation.
Last month was my anniversary of breaking-up with the guy, who used verbal violence against me and tried to control me (yup, I had founded out, that he was a control-freak). The beginning was really nice: Mailing each other (different cities because of his job & my studies), calling, meeting from time to time, living together at summer time, spending together xmass, dates etc... And in the middle of all that stuff, he tried to separate me from my friends and familly. And anytime I was sending him texts like "Oh, I got a break now in the middle of my classes at the university, time to stop by a mcdonald with friends : )" (this is just an example), he was replying with the sentences like "Ohhhh so you are going somwhere with some guys right? Maybe you will get after food some alcohol and then be druuuuunk" (which was unlogical, because I'm not drinking too often to be honest). This is just a small part of the problem. While the time was passing, he used to force me to some stuff....
PS: Some of my comments are not in the right chronology, so I'm sorry for that. Have a nice day people ~
Load More Replies... "I tried talking to his parents and thy told me it was normal in a young marriage." And the father who taught his son assault, violence and sadistic behaviour is a pastor. How nice.
Who WILL put up with that animal of a man! I'm glad it's over for you. He is clearly a psychopath!
Wow, what a piece of human garbage. This is probably not the right thing to say, but I hope someone smashed his whole body with a baseball bat.
That's awesome that U got out of that kuddos to U gf I hope U pat urself on the shoulder every day for the courage and strength to walk away
I would never put up with that kind of abuse. My father was like that; I cut all bonds with him as soon as I moved away from home. Sadly it took my mother 10 years to do the same.
i can't see any reason why anyone would doubt you after reading these texts and as for your ex i pity him for having such a foul controlling temperament.
Ohmygod, I can not believe she didn't divorce him sooner. This woman truly had to go through something horrible. I can not believe there are people like him out there. Heck I'm certain he did all the things he blamed her for. She is truly a strong woman, I hope everything will go for the better for her from now on.
She couldn't divorce him sooner. It takes so much mental effort to get out of these abusive relationships, especially when they threaten you
Load More Replies... You should have left even before he hurt your pets. When somebody does.not let you be yourself, you should not plan on spending your live with him/her
i wish i had a way out...im trapped here, i have a terminally ill child that i physically cannot care for without his help, and hes basically holding me hostage..i have no possession of my bank cards, even my drivers license...his car is up to date and legal, i have no insurance, no tags, and im not allowed to use "his" car, either. its a f*****g nightmare. i am at a total loss. i found the house we are leasing by pure accident, it is insanely expensive where i live, there would be no hope for me if i left, i make too much to qualify for assistance, but too little to have several thousand saved back for rent/deposit. i just want it to be over, i cant take anymore of this.
I know this is 4 years late and idk of you’ll see my reply. I left a physical and mentally abusive relationship about 2 years ago. He was a alcoholic, he always blamed his actions on the alcohol. I believed that too. It wasn’t until shortly after I left the relationship that I really did a lot of thinking and realized the things he did and and said when he was sober, and I remember that when we would be out in public or around friends and he was drunk he would act so Nice and would never show his abusive side in front of others , but the moment we got home or were alone a switch would flip and he would be violent and aggressive. So I realized if he could control and turn off the abuse when others were around ,that means he had control of it. He made me believe he had no control and the alcohol was causing his actions . Yes alcohol definitely added fuel to the fire and increased the aggression but he is a abuser with or without the alcohol.
The second toughest part is that he is/was military. The absolute toughest part is what branch I suspect he was in. If I am correct, then I feel for her more deeply than anyone not a part of that branch can know. I survived many things while enlisted, only to get out and have 2 failed marriages because I couldn't seem to recognize my own worth. It wasn't until I gave in and moved to the place I really didn't want to be that I began to find my value again. The veteran community here is very strong. We even invite spouses to join our activities so that they can feel included. I am so proud of you sister for taking back your life. Stand tall and proud because we are stronger together.
I think you are very brave and a lot of people in abusive relationships will thank you for helping them to leave their abuser. I hope you continue in peace and one day will be whole again,
HE HURT THE PETS?!?! I’m sorry, but this whole thing just got a lot worse...
I love how far you've come. It's not easy going through that. Im happy your doing better and you still have a positive mind set :)
What a nasty piece of work. It gets to me how this type of person can always get people to believe their side of the story whilst the victim is demonised.
People testified the asshat husband was a great guy because that is what they WANTED to think. They may well have known what a monster he is but had to suppress that knowledge even from themselves because it didn't fit their script.
I think there's something particularly important here. This guy (and I use the term loosely) is pathetic. Not like feel sorry for him, not like "oh poor misunderstood guy he doesn't know how to show love" but a craven insecure wretch. He needs constant reassurance that she's being faithful, constantly suspects every text is rooted in distrust born of fear. He's a craven coward who can't accept the idea a woman would "betray" him asserting what pathetic control he can. I think he's a sad pathetic pos who had a woman far better then he deserves (that she had the courage to walk away when so many others in the same situation tragicly stay far to long speaks volumes about who at the end deserves respect and who was a sad pos.
I hate this story for the a*s hole who did this to a human being. For the woman who had the courage to turn and walk away from him, to take the bastard to court and make him face justice and to share her story I have nothing but respect.
You are a brave person. It doesnt matter what others think about this. You will move on with your life and hopefully heal from the inner and outer scars this person that put on you. I hope that by you posting this you have helped others who deal with the same kinds of things you had to endure. No one owns anyone and no one should be kept as a prisoner and be put through what you had to go through. I am sorry for the time you have spent having to go through this. I hope God gives you the strength to keep moving on and making a better life for yourself. You did the right thing and dont ever doubt that. You are a strong person and you will survive and hopefully help others!
She is a brave woman, and that criminal man got the punishment. But there are many man and woman who are still getting beating from their spouses. They need support, and we should create the support system around us.
Not much I can add as the comments your received pretty much says what I think. There are women out there who need to hear your story. It may just give them the strength they need to get out of their abuse. Some women don't have bruises on the outside. Theirs are on the inside, and they keep silent. It's heart breaking. Thank you for sharing 🙏
I myself right out of high school married an abusive man . They are sweet in the beginning until the jealousy & controlling starts, then the changing begins. Not only was he abusive but , putting his socks away in his drawer there was a whole bag of pills & also girls would knock on my front door asking for him that's when I thought that I really did not know this person & what a mistake I made in marrying him. After being punched & thrown around I dicided to stand up for myself & beat the holy c**p out of him. I moved out & went in hiding then ran into him in a dance hall. Trying to control me & threaten me I then jumped in my car & he tried to stop me by getting in front of my car so, I hit him with my car. I then knew it was an endless battle & I moved to the west , wrote up my own divorce & that was that. Am married now for 35 yrs , only was with him for 5 months-so you see there is happiness-you are strong & you are nobody's human punching bag - so leave & get out of it.
I was interested in the story but if you look at the screen shots you can see the faint blue line around the green text box and the font is totally different from the senders. The original iMessage reply has been superimposed over! Why alter the original messages?
My Daughter now 42 was 33 when she was shot in the head and left rolled in a blanket for 3 days . She had been in a VERY abusive relationship for 2 years. I would beg her to leave and she would tell me he loves me and does not mean to hurt me every time he gets drunk (which became every day. ) on the day it happened she was laying on the floor watching tv( trying to ignore him in his drunken rage) and she was propped on her right arm on her side, and he was on the couch behind her because he had made her get off the couch. He shot her in the back of the head , rolled her in a quilt and left her laying for 3 days. He would not let me talk to her and was telling me If i came there he would fill me and my car full of bullets and that she could talk to me when he was ready to let her. After 3 days of not hearing from her I finally convinced the sheriffs department to do a welfare check and they found her . She survived but she now has the mind of a 5 year old and is permanently paralyzed
Thank you for sharing these. When I saw this post, my heart sank because I keep similar texts from my ex. Even though it was the most horrifying painful experiences in my life, I still count myself lucky because I am alive. This was all due to my support system who knew I was in trouble even though I kept mum about it. He isolated me and whittled down my social circle to just him. I had zero male contact and if I ever went out with a girlfriend or a relative without him, I had to send photographic evidence. You will never think this would happen to you. Like one of the comments below, it's a slow and steady indoctrination. It was when I was down on my knees in front of him, my body and limbs numb from his kicks and slaps, my face and hair covered in his spit that I realize, this was not normal. What some people don't understand is that, it's hard to leave an abusive partner because of the fear of repercussions. There are moments where I actually think he would kill me.
What kind of messed up parents did he have to condone ever hurting your spouse? Sick freaks. Hope you tarnished his record good in the army.
Many abusers are such because they were abused themselves as children. It's called the cycle of abuse, when a victim becomes an abuser. Some have a mental illness such as being a narcissist, sociopath or a psychopath.
Load More Replies... Good on you for having the strength to leave. I as a Male never understand why Women stay in abusive relationships. I understand there is alot happening behind the scenes and all isn't just black and white... But if someone really loves you they will never hurt you. Again great you got out. I'm sure the future ahead will be bright and full with love... And if you haven't already you will eventually meet the right Man who will treat you the way all good Women deserve to be treated. Wishing you all the best.
I've never been in a physical abusive relationship but verbal but I can understand it can be hard to leave because alot of men first of all aren't romantic or care who you with or where you are so if a woman who's never felt wanted gets with an abusive man who takes care of her financially and wants to know where she is at all times maybe appealing I can admit what made me leave my verbally abusive bf wasn't his abuse was his lack of effort and he didn't want me bringing him around my friends and I couldn't come over but now I'm in a happy healthy relationship no verbal abuse no physical cherishes me but it took me my whole life to find a good man it's hard so I do sympathize with abused victims we all want love it's hard when a guy is nice to you works at a good job takes care of the kids but he beats you ppl judge but easier said then done
you are a amazing woman because you took a stand for yourself and everybody who loved was beside you. Believe me I have seen cases where even taking action doesn't count, those women ended up in this hell again c*x their families were not willing and they had no mean to survive except for their husband.
Same. My last ex was controlling and I didn't even realize it until after I broke up with him and saw how desperate he was to get back together, he even punched a window and sent me snaps of his bloody hand in an attempt to convince me!
Load More Replies... Good for you! Always follow your gut. You are strong and capable, and you don't need a man to make you complete! Good luck!
What a f*****g evil parasite. Way too many of them exist on this planet. Ladies, fine tune your antenna's & get the hell away from mentally f****d up creeps like this, ASAP. Please.
So powerful on its own, but mentioned in the story at the end is her ex-husband is military. I'm glad this is being shared because I have seen it in the navy - The servicemembers that go to work and are "so nice and hardworking. Well put-together, loving" and the list goes on so their spouses are even more scared to go to the authorities, thinking that they don't matter, only their servicemember spouse does and that is just absolutely NOT the case! I hope your story can reach women (and men, the like!) to know that it is not right, no matter who your spouse is! I'm glad you are free and able to live your life happily and without the pain. *Side note - super glad the pets are safe too!* People forget the animal abuse sometimes in these cases.
Thank you for sharing this! It's so important for women of any kind of abuse to speak out. I want to let you know that I am so so proud of you for getting out of this relationship and moving forward with your life. You are strong and beautiful and you deserve all of the best the world has to offer. Good luck with all of your future endeavors; you will do amazing things because no one can stop you!
From what it looks like yeah this is pretty s****y, think about it like this too, and I know this is not always the chase but for a few guys it is too that this happens with. The girls could have cheated and completely broke the trust they had in their relationship, and the girl begs him to stay saying it wont happen again or whatever, and the guy is stupid enough to stay and try. I'm sure he would be like that and ask those kinds of texts and what not, it would be hard to believe anything they say. Like I said I know this isnt always the case, but it does happen.
you want closure? it's pretty obvious. men who abuse women are insecure... on a whole other level of crazy. it doesn't matter if they loved you or if they were nice to you in the past. they believe in their discusting minds they are doing the right thing by beating you. they see it as a way to control you and also see it as love. but it isn't love. it's weakness, insecurity, mental instability. never blame yourself for someone else#s actions, it is their actions... they have the power to control themselves. we don't
I am so glad you and your beloved pets are safe. Sending hugs from us here in Australia.
So wait ncis is real? That said im so proud of her being strong.
That kind of makes me sad to see that he had so many character witnesses during his trial, while you only had 1 friend supporting you. On a much smaller scale, I can relate to that kind of thing. When I was 21, I went through a break-up (not an abusive relationship, but an emotionally tough break-up nonetheless). The girl and I had several friends in common, so naturally these friends chose sides. The 2 friends who had a front-row seat to the events leading up to the break-up seemed mostly to take my side, but most of the others took hers (although I still remained on mostly friendly terms with most of these friends). That was back in 2005. Fast-forward to the present -- my x-girlfriend does not talk to ANY of those friends anymore (in fact, some have had outright falling outs with her), but I'm still on good terms with all of them! The moral of the comment/story is this: in the long-run, a person's true character shines through, and others will ultimately see the REAL you in the end
When he asked for the three fingers, I would have sent him my middle finger. lmao
This is absolutely disgusting and more people need to be aware of it, but I kind of want to point out that Huffington Post is definitely not a good source for statistics on this kind of thing, they're notorious for fabricating statistics for things like this. Anyone got any reliable statistics? Something reliable would definitely hit a lot harder, especially since the number shouldn't be any more than 0 anyway.
It's a shame that his name and location, along with his photo couldn't be published. It would be great that anyone who wanted to kick the s**t out of him could do so any time they wanted.
Am speechless. Kudos to you for sharing - some are too weak to do so. You are saving a few right now!
Useful in perhaps a tiny way, but it models self-hate and mindless submission without any self-awareness, so is overall negative.
I mean, I dunno about anyone else, but as a woman myself I see that behavior as unhealthy as well. It gets labeled as "clingy" but I agree that it's a clear sign of mistrust and an unhealthy obsession. Not everyone thinks it's cute. Regardless of sex or gender, stalking and monitoring the person you "love" is extremely unhealthy.
Load More Replies... It's probably either a different OS than what you use, or they were edited together for the purposes of display.
Load More Replies... Well actually, take back what I've said about "even if", I think you're clearly misinformed about abusers and their behavior and siding with them only makes you part of the abuse making you complicit.
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