This Twitter Thread Has 35 Women Sharing The Moments A Doctor Completely Ignored Their Concerns, And Now They Have To Face The Consequences
High cost, not the highest quality — that’s how most people describe the healthcare system in the US. After all, Americans spend more on health emergencies than people elsewhere, yet the US trails far behind other high-income countries on access to care, administrative efficiency, equity, and outcomes. But while anyone who has experience with the system can tell you how expensive it can be, they always hold a dash of hope to receive fair treatment. Something they usually don’t get.
That’s precisely what happened to writer and reporter Marisa Kabas. Last year, she kicked off a viral thread by sharing her infuriating story on Twitter. "How do I know weight stigma in health care is real?" she asked. Well, a mango-sized fibroid growing in her uterus overlooked by every single doctor she ever consulted gives a hint. And what’s even more disturbing? Most medical professionals dismissed her symptoms as signs that she needed to lose weight.
The woman’s thread sparked an important conversation and inspired thousands of women to chime in with their stories. From similar cases with weight-biased attitudes to simply unfortunate situations, we’ve gathered some of the most upsetting and illuminating responses to share with you all. Continue scrolling to read through the responses, and if you would like to participate in the discussion, be sure to share your experiences with us in the comments.
Writer Marisa Kabas has gone viral on Twitter after sharing how several doctors ignored her physical symptoms due to her weight
Her story inspired other women to chime in with similar experiences, here’s what they had to say
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As someone recovering from a car accident, WTF? I didn't have anything near this level and was still treated well, especially after an anxiety attack. Now i don't look feminine, maybe that's it? It breaks my heart the lives that could have been better/saved if doctors would shut up and listen
"Everything seems fine! Come back again in a few months if you’re still having trouble," is something thousands of women around the world would do anything not to hear again. Yet, they experience it multiple times. Far too often, women can’t shake the feeling that something is not quite right with their bodies and turn to healthcare professionals hoping to find answers and some peace of mind. But unfortunately, doctors often let them down by downplaying or downright dismissing their worries.
Kabas’ viral thread has reached thousands of women who chimed in with extremely infuriating answers that show just how frequently physicians fail to provide proper treatment. For many, these stories act as a wake-up call about the seriously flawed medical system and the reality of how common it is for women’s concerns to be ignored because of deeply-rooted gender stereotypes.
Sadly, true. Some irresponsible doctors assume stuff just because they do not seem to get it that no one actually exists to bore them out. Some, despite elite training and years of experience, does not realize patients are human beings, not just whiny or mentally incapable. Luckily, there are still good doctors out there.
They really dont care about their patients at all. I have been told today by my doctor that "endometriosis and CFS (chronic fatigue sindrome) dont cause disabilities ". I guess that i am no longer disabled and I will be magically cured. Or more likely that i will live the rest of my life in pain with no help whatsoever from doctors or the government
"It’s a huge issue in medicine," Dr. Tia Powell, a bioethicist and a professor of clinical epidemiology and population health at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, told the New York Times. According to her, health care providers may have implicit biases that affect the way women are heard, understood, and treated. "Medical schools and professional guidelines are starting to address this problem, but there’s still much to be done."
Mine was found during an annual gyn exam, which wouldn’t necessarily happen today now that they only do them every few years. There’s a lot to be said for a yearly check-in, especially for women in their late 30’s on up, or anyone with pain, irregular bleeding, etc. even if they think they know what’s going on.
a family can still be complete without human kids or even fur babies. the worst part (especially for straight women) is that they'll be like, oh, what if you find a guy you want to have the child with? like, are you really putting your patients reproductive autonomy in the hands of a man you don't know?
Not only do female patients experience a lack of care in the healthcare system, but female doctors find their symptoms aren’t being taken seriously as well. And Dr. Powell knows this from personal experience. "A while back, I lost 10 pounds over a couple months, so I went to my doctor and told him I thought it was a sign I was having a recurrence of an old illness. He gave me a few reasons he disagreed and added, 'Plus, you’ve been on a diet.'" Since Dr. Powell never said this to her doctor herself, this immediately struck her as odd. Moreover, she began to question whether the physician would have said the same to a male patient. Luckily, she turned to another doctor who ran a set of tests, confirmed her suspicions, and began treating her immediately.
"It can be hard to speak up if you feel you’re not being treated fairly," Dr. Powell said. "I’m a professor at a medical school and I struggled with it."
The whole obsession with it being period-related is so weird. I had agonising stomach pains for ages and ages, and without any tests or even checking me out he insisted it was endometriosis, even though I said it didn’t come and go with my cycle. He knew better. Until the pain exploded on holiday and it turned out to be pancreatitis, with stones blocking the ducts almost completely. Thanks, doctor.
On the other hand...if you're vegan or vegetarian they assume you must be vitamin deficient and test you constantly. Levels are always normal, including B's D's and Iron, and they never address my actual problem.
Sadly, gender bias is evident in the medical system. A recent study by National Pain Report and non-profit foundation For Grace found that women report significant discrimination against them. They conducted a survey of 2,400 women with chronic pain that revealed over 90 percent of them feel the gender bias is real, and many of the respondents said they sense discrimination in the way their pain is treated by doctors.
Oh lord move out of Texas, that’s the best advice anyone can give you right now!
Don't ever belive any doctor who says that your pain is prolly "just menstrual pain". And even if it was menstrual pain, if it's SO BAD it's NOT NORMAL and means something is wrong, may be endometriosis, may be something else. There is no "just" with menstrual pain nor any pain.
Moreover, 65 percent of women revealed their pain is taken less seriously because they are female, and 84 percent said they are treated differently by doctors because of their sex. "I think this survey is extraordinarily important because I think the experiences of women in pain need to come out in the open and really need to be publicized," psychologist Steve Passik, Ph.D., said.
"At times like now, when there’s a stigma to being a chronic pain patient and when there’s a stigma for taking controlled substances for pain, the last thing anyone needs is an additional unseen bias to make it worse. And the idea that women have a struggle that’s differentially worse is something that needs to come to light."
Yes! I've lost 60-ish pounds in the last three years and suddenly it's all "was that lump there before? No? We need to biopsy this right now!" Turned out to be lipoma (non cancerous fat tumor).
Does that idiot really think that everyone who isn’t Olympic runner skinny wheezes on their way to the car?
Interestingly, there’s one concerning reason why physicians are likely to misdiagnose or gaslight women’s health issues. Women’s symptoms are often seen as "hysterical" in the medical world, whether consciously or not. In an interview for Northwell Health, Dr. Stephanie Trentacoste McNally explained it’s no accident that the word "hysteria" originates from the Greek word for "uterus."
The specialist pointed out that there’s still a pervasive belief that anytime a female complains about her health, it’s either related to her hormones or all in her head. "Female hysteria was once a common medical diagnosis for women, applied whenever women displayed 'inappropriate' emotions such as anxiety, anger and even sexual desire. For centuries, it was believed that the uterus itself was the cause of a woman’s 'hysterical' symptoms."
"Unfortunately, these sorts of beliefs still carry on today. How often does a woman get angry, only to be asked if she’s about to get her period? How often does a perimenopausal woman go to her doctor’s office to complain about weight gain, only to be told that it’s related to hormones? Our hormones aren’t making us anxious or upset—these condescending attitudes are."
Of course it's the US. Where else would doctors miss a mango sized cyst just because they don't feel like calling insurance and explaining why she needed a MRI. Lazy a*s****
But this does beg the question: why, in this day and age, do so many women continue to face gaslighting in the healthcare system? Of course, we see an undeniable change in the way women are being cared for today, but there’s still plenty of room for improvement. Dr. Bella R. Grossman noted in the interview that psychological and social influences play an important part in how women are treated.
"For example, men have a tendency to be more vocal and more persistent with their concerns. Women may have a harder time pushing back and advocating for themselves. They feel like they need to be good patients, which means accepting what their doctors tell them. But by doing so, they’re stripping themselves of a voice," she said.
Going through this right now but I was put on vitamin D for a deficiency already and my symptoms still haven't improved. I keep getting told it's my anxiety when I know it's not. I'm having increased anxiety because no one seems to be able to tell me what's wrong with me.
If you can relate to any of these stories shared in this list, certain actions can help make sure physicians actually listen and heed your voiced concerns. The Society to Improve Diagnosis in Medicine (SIDM) suggested it’s important to find a professional you can trust. Moreover, they advised asking doctors who ignore your symptoms certain questions, such as "What might this be?" and "What do I do if these symptoms get worse?" This should make them stop and take time to consider your other options.
I can imagine the doctor just being like "Huh, who knew this was there?"
Humans are technically animals, so a vet is totally qualified to self-diagnose if the human doctors are being useless! XD
And as people say, knowledge is power. It’s helpful to go to the doctor’s ready to present your issues clearly and factually and also be prepared with research on what types of tests and screenings should be performed for patients your age. But, most importantly, speak up. SIDM explained that expressing the depth of your concerns may help you receive your diagnosis faster. "Be willing to fight for yourself and your body but don’t be willing to put on the boxing gloves when you first walk in," they wrote.
Got told exactly that twice as a kid when in hospital for agonising stomach pain. Guess who just had 2 grape-sized ovarian cysts removed?
Oh no, that's terrible!! The more I read here, the more I really want to become a doctor (I'm still a student) that actually can solve those problems. That listens to clients and takes them serious. There should be more!
i have no degree, but Im pretty sure the severeness of a burn has noting to do with weight? please correct me if I'm wrong.
I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia. It means muscle pain and was The tre chic Diagnosis a while back. What they tell you to shut you up. Turned out to be MS
I was told by an orthopedic surgeon that my neck disc bulge was not causing my arm pain. When I questioned this statement, because it is contrary to every other doctor i have seen, he attacked me verbally. He said he could not operate on someone as fat as i am. He could refer me to get a gastric bypass. It was so out of no where. I was just there to get a consult to see if any of my issues were operational. I gave a poor review for him and he called me trying to apologize. He was trying to say that i misunderstood him. I told him i did not trust him or his judgement and believed he attacked me verbally when i questioned his medical opinion. I did not back down and he was almost whining by the end trying to get me to take my review down. I also let the referring dr office know how he treated me and to please not send people there.
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Reading through this list I suddenly realised why US medicine adverts always say "ask your doctor about X", as if you, the patient are 100% responsible for all your medical care and needs, and doctors don't really do anything. And it's because you *are* and they *don't*! And I am so sorry.
I'm extremely overweight and logically and rationally I understand that my weight can cause a huge number of issues. I also understand that doctor's are like every other profession-- mistakes can be made. But one of the things I saw here over and over is this idea that they can't test because of your weight. One woman said 'they can't test by palpitation...'. Well can't they do scans or ultrasounds? It's my health insurance so it's not like I'm not paying for it (honestly that shouldn't even be an issue but I'm trying to figure out why they don't want to do this). I don't go to doctor's anymore because I just feel like I could have a car accident and a broken arm and they'd tell me it's because of my weight. I just wish they'd at least review other options. Like, 'we can't detect anything by palpitation because of your weight, but lets schedule an ultrasound and see if we can see anything.' Instead of it being like 'we don't want to waste our resources on you because you're fat.'
These types of stories are all too common. I am so fortunate to have found a fantastic Dr that understands why I have so many issues that impact my weight. I have regular blood tests, specialist appts and am monitored regularly. There are so many health issues that cause weight problems. Too bad many drs don't seem to understand that.
Not just America as someone mentioned. My friend spent years going to various doctors complaining about abdominal pain, troubles with breathing and several other symptoms. Always got the same mean comments about being overweight, noone would run any tests and the inly advice was eat less, move more. After several years she finally found a good doctor - celliac disease and type 1 diabetes which has already affected her heart and other organs.
I've seen doctors blow off a patient with blood coming out of their ear with "You're just clenching your jaw." Really? I *am* an MD ---- I have practiced ----- and ears bleeding may b an infection, a ruptured eardrum, who knows what, but you sure as he** don't diagnose it with a glance and a shrug. (FYI, it was an abscess of the inner ear. I can share that, b/c I *was* the patient. And since I can't look in my own ear... by the time the specialist saw me, it was scarred, and I'll always have a little issue in that ear. Thanks, fellow medical "professionals".)
Yep! 20 years of painful, debilitating periods. I would routinely be incapacitated and/or vomiting from pain. Sometimes my periods would last for MONTHS. Was told it was normal and to lose weight. "If you were more active you wouldn't be in so much pain". I go to the gym 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day but ok. Got a new doctor and said, if you can find ANY reason to get rid of this uterus, please do it. I'm so tired of being in pain. One ultrasound later she says "you have adenomyosis, let's get that outta you." After surgery she casually mentioned that when she was in there, it turned out I have severe endometriosis as well. I was in substantially LESS pain immediately after surgery than I had been in 20 years. SMH
I had very heavy periods for years. Doctors told me to loose weight and I'd be fine. Until one day the bleeding didn't stop. A month later I'm having a hysterectomy and being told I have stage 3 uterine cancer. 6 years ago, and so far I'm fine. I also had my back pain dismissed because of my weight, turns out I have a stenosis in my lower spine. I get my weight contributed to these things but 1)it didn't cause it and more importantly 2)losing weight would not have cured either.
My migraines were always blamed on: being overweight OR being a woman so it is natural. Lost weight, still had migraines from hell. Guess who has scoliosis?
This has to be America. I had uterus cancer diagnosed immediately when i started spotting regularly. Had an internal ultrasound booked as soon as i saw my doctor first time with symptoms. Also had a pap smear and referral toa gyno at the local hospital. BEFORE i saw the gyno i was booked for an MRI. By the time i saw him he was ready to advise that i hix experience it was likely to be cancer. Booked within 2 weeks for a biopsy and internal clean up, sorry not recalling the medical term for that procedure. Was rung at work to come in as soon as possible 3 days after that op and told that yep it was cancer. IT WASNT EVEN AS BIG AS A 20 CENT PIECE. How can something the size being described here be so regularly ignored in comparison.? It makes me sick to know misogyny is so prevalent in the 21st century.
My SIL gained 100 lbs in 3 months. Went to dozens of doctors who told her she's eating too much. She became anorexic and would exercise 5 hours a day and still gained weight. It took 5 years to finally get a Dr who ran a simple blood test that led to a CT scan and finding a massive tumor. It made her sterile, which was soul crushing because they had been trying to have a child and learned if she wasn't dismissed 5 years earlier as being a lazy fat person (doctor's words), it would have been possible.
My wife has been fighting pain in her foot. It would swell, ankle too. We asked our doctor about it. Doctor said some people have that problem. I asked doctor, we'll aren't you going to do any test or schedule for a specialist? No. Just take ibuprofen. Well now she can hardly walk on it. Yes we found a specialist ourselves. I also had an issue. She prescribed a pill to help control it. I told her I'm tired of these band aids for our problems. We need to find out the CAUSE of them and address that issue. Well we are looking into finding another doctor too. You know your body more than doctors. You know if something doesn't feel right. They should listen more and quit acting like you're a druggy looking for a fix.
It upsets me every time I see doctors ridicule people who find their diagnosis online. This is why. Some of us would not be alive today if we didn't get help with our diagnosis online.
Diagnosed with approximately five fibroids. Lets wait and see. Wait and see. Wait and see. No treatment offered. No information given. Then all of a sudden it's hysterectomy time - no we can't do it laparoscopically - it's too big for that. Get ready for a nine-inch incision. Second opinion: more like 15-20 fibroids ranging from jellybeans to baseballs. I was offered a less invasive procedure that was one week off work instead of six. Scar the size of pencil lead instead of a frankenstein tummy. Guess who I went with? It was still bad and I got some awful care at the hospital, but at least I didn't let an uncaring and inexperienced doctor cut me open. I might still need a hysterectomy in the future, but now my 6-month pregnancy-sized uterus is back to normal and can avoid the open abdominal surgery.
Spent 10 years in agony due to gall stones. When the dr finally signed for the ultra sound an cat scan it was a bit late. My gall bladder had calcified into a rock. The nerves would send signals to a dead zone an cripple me if I even ate a cracker. When I was in surgery he was doing it endoscopically and was trying so had to get that last bit out that he tore my liver. I woke up also during the surgery because he wouldn't listen that meds wear off fast on me. Two gall stones the size of kiwis. I got to keep one. A messed up liver so now I can have two and a half beers or two cocktails before it starts hurting or I get sick. Fun
Tuca and Bertie (animated show) just had an episode about this common situation. How the #1 treatment out of EVERY doctors mouth is to lose 10lbs. Because that magically will fix everything? Migraines? Lose 10lbs… Odd-looking mole? Lose 10lbs… cut off a limb and need it sewn back on? Have you tried losing 10lbs???
I have celiac disease. My mom diagnosed me after 10 years of undiagnosed symptoms by reading a medical journal. The main symptom was unexplained weight gain, which every single solitary doctor said was due to me eating more food than I claimed I was. No matter how vehemently I insisted I was exercising 3+ hours a day and starving myself (calorie intake so low I'm embarrassed to admit it), they all pretty much rolled their eyes and called me a liar.
went to e.r in Cali when i was 12 for a painful mass under my ear. Dr said it was a clogged saliva gland. No tests were done. then at 16 went to another Dr in AZ for same issue and told the Dr what the last one said, again no tests and just a clogged saliva gland. Then in AZ when I was pregnant at 20 my Dr sent me to a specialist who actually did tests and. confirmed it WASN'T my saliva gland. They couldn't do any more tests because of being pregnant. Finally after moving back to CA my Primary was relentless about diagnosing it sent me to several specialists and finally was told it was a tumor. Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, that was when I was 22/23 years old. It took 10+ years and many Drs to find out I had cancer. Edit. The only Drs who did any tests or sent me to specialists were females
Doctors hates a person who started their own research (no the YouTube/tiktok research) on medical papers and a dictionary on sites like scielo, scholar, libraries on line from colleges, etc. Because no one hears us. Nobody cares about how bad could be hearing a doctor saying "you must lose weight" but they will not treat why even if you don't eat anything for a week, don't loose a gram. A paper on scisielo said I had thyroid problems. Made a test and. There was. All my problems were because my thyroid gland was lazy. Now I'm anemic and taking a lot of meds because some damage was permanent. A doctor said that I've not procastinated my attention my problems were smaller
I've got the same story. Years ago, Something definitely wasn't normal, went to the Gyno and he very matter-of-factly mentioned: "okay, you know you have a fibroid right?" "No!" "Yes, it's about grapefruit sized, but it's okay, if you aren't in pain or have other symptoms, then this is fine". Four more years I lived with it, no symptoms really, except my abdomen had swollen and sex was uncomfortable sometimes. Finally it got to the point that I was tired of my huge, very hard abdomen and saw a different OB-GYN, and she said "yep, we can remove it", it was 8 pounds, and I definitely had people tell me I looked pregnant. At 30 I had a hysterectomy as my only choice, and I lost 8 pounds that day. It's funny, I never wanted children until they told me I couldn't
In shock reading this. I had a huge cyst removed last year. GP didn’t think it was that at first but still referred me to hospital. An ultrasound and I was at the Gyn/oncologist’s office in two days. COVID meant a delay in surgery and the uterine biopsy was horrible, but I was always taken seriously, listened to. Can’t imagine what these people have had go through
Women are getting a raw deal and we all need to join together and get things changed "before we die"
Modern research is clear: diets cause most people to end up gaining more weight in the long run. I hear those comments all the time: "They did keto for a while, but now they're rounder than ever." My partner and I have both been through that 3 or 4 times. If I ever hear this come up with a doctor, they are getting an earfull. If they had the answers to weight and health, wealthy nations wouldn't be majority overweight and obese.
Yup. That's how I lost my mother. She was laying on the sofa, screaming in pain and literally saying she was going to die. GP said: "nothing is wrong, your stomac is just a little upset". 30 minutes later she was dead, hearthfailure. I was 10 and she was 38.
I went to a doc earlier this month about vaginally spotting. I'm on a birth control that makes it so I don't have periods. Haven't had one in years. Blood from that area only has been due to other issues like UTI or infected duct. So I went to this doctor and she just said that occasionally women spot and there is nothing to be worried about. And left it at that. I told her my family history, and my own that dealt with reproductive organ issues. She begrudgingly scheduled me for an ultrasound. Just was notified today that they need to do an MRI for something they found on the ultrasound. We know our bodies, ladies.
When my wife gave birth to our son, not all of the placenta detached so she needed a DNC. About a week later, something feel out of her while she was in the bathroom. My mom was staying with us so she took care of our son and we rushed to the emergency room. Got there between shifts apparently because the first doctor didn't do much and the next one was about to send us on our way when I tossed the bag at him that had the piece in it and said "no one looked at this!" turned out they didn't get all the placenta tissue the first time and had to do an emergency DNC again.
Having a mental health diagnosis also tends to make everything psychosomatic in doctors' eyes. Had acid reflux for years that I was told was due to anxiety. Turns out it's caused by hernia, but I needed to literally be puking up blood to even get any treatment beyond diapam for it. Also as you can imagine it affected my mood, because I thought I was having way more anxiety than I really was.
Let me tell you my friends, it was not “normal”. One year after this procedure, I got myself an MRI and the doctor who read my result said that I need a doctor ASAP, like yesterday. I managed the pain with some over the counter painkillers, but sometimes wasn't enough anymore. At one point I was not able to walk, stand or anything involving movement. I somehow managed to hide everything from my family, nobody suspected anything…I was so good. To end the story: I ended up being septic and in organ failure! The ER doctor gave me less than a week to live! Luckily, after nine months in the hospital, I made a good and acceptable recovery so I was sent home, but not before I suffered four different surgeries! Always listen to your body! Always! The story cannot be related in just a few words. There are more happening in between, but yes…
My grandmother had a benign tumour (cyst?) the size of a baby's head removed in the sixties. They'd found it earlier but she wanted to wait until all three of her kids were older and could look after themselves, as it was a major surgery back then. They gave her a full hystorectomy. My mum went in for her appendix about ten years back, they found dozens of smaller cysts all over her womb. Full hysteroctomy (and appendectomy) but this one was laparoscopic. I have already mentioned the possibility of me getting them to all of my doctors I've had over the years.
Part 3: BTW, I don't live in America. I live in South Africa. You know, where the first heart transplant ever was done? We actually don't have the worst healthcare, so I frickin sucks to have to deal with laze, uncaring doctors.
Part 2: So I have a serious discussion with my fiancé, basically telling him why I am going off birth control pills and he is super supportive! As soon as I go off the birth control, my period stays an average of 5 days (so at least that part was true, thanks doc) but i suddenly start getting bad ovulation pain each month. Now, I used to get these when I was a teenager, but due to having been on the pill nearly a decade I have forgotten this and am now fully freaked out about this pain - mostly because my mother had been diagnosed with cervical cancer a few years before this. So I go to my Gynae and explain the pain, searching for a solution. This guys' ACTUAL response: "Yes, some woman struggle with ovulation pain, we advise them to go on birth control pills". I was like "Nope, f*ck this!" and never went back to that doctor. Why do we as woman have to hear that, yes some woman have these symptoms, but no, no one is actually trying to find out the cause and fix this problem. I'm done.
Part 1: I got on birth control pills at the age of 19 for two reasons: 1. I used to get HEAVY periods that lasted 9 - 10 days (this started when I hit puberty so by this time I thought it was normal, until a doctor suggested I try birth control to 'regulate my hormones', and 2. To practice safe sex (I also made use of condoms for STI security). All this because at 19, as a woman, I knew it was my OWN responsibility to be as safe as possible if I was going to be sexually active. Fast forward almost 10 years, I'm struggling with mood swings, I have constant discharge throughout my cycle (apparently a one in 100 000 likelihood - how fun), I get UTI infections almost once a month, I get debilitating migraines at least once a month, my hair is falling out and I'm struggling to climax during intercourse. So I do my research, all of these are commonly linked to using birth control pills. Great!!! So at this time, I'm in a serious, monogamous relationship (soon to be married).
First time I saw my doctor shortly before covid started, I brought up my back pain and she just said "It's because of your weight" and refused to do any tests. I mentioned both that I've had issues with pain since I was a kid and also that I was my late wife's 24/7 caregiver for 8 years, which is very physically demanding. She didn't care. My pain has gotten worse since then, despite losing weight. I'm ready to just give up and end it.
This is heart wrenching. My family is full of medical professionals - dead and alive - who live by my grandpa's words of wisdom: "We're only practicing medicine. When we don't know, we ask." That man didn't serve in WWII because he was tasked with delivering babies and livestock in three counties. Learning all the time. Humble to the core and gone too soon. RIP, Grandpa Doc.
The year I turned 30 I started having excruciating pelvic pain. I went to the ER several times, was disregarded. Go to my gynecologist that I had been going to since I was 14, she disregards me for several months until I complained enough where she conceded to do a laparoscopy. She didn't find anything, so, when I was still in pain after the laparoscopy, she flat out told me and my mother that I was attention seeking and wanting pain pills. So I ended up going to Oprah's gynecologist. She was much more sympathetic, put me in a temporary 3-month menopause, but the pain did not dissipate. Luckily, she knew of a pelvic pain specialist that was able to properly diagnose me within 5 minutes with interstitial cystitis. It took a total of 3 years to get a diagnosis. I actually lost a job because my boss was convinced that I was going to get pain medication when I was actually having bladder instillations every two weeks, where they pump lidocaine and some other stuff into your bladder with a catheter. That forced me to learn how to self catheterize and pump the medications myself, because my boss was no longer okay with me going to see the doctor on a biweekly basis. Now, at 42, I'm having neurological symptoms that are relatively severe, and I am terrified that it's going to be another excruciatingly long process to get a proper diagnosis. I've gotten really good at advocating for myself, figuring out what's wrong with me and forcing my doctors to perform the proper testing, but I'm terrified with the neurological symptoms. And I'm still in excruciating pain every single day from fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis and I have ridiculously excruciating periods where I am useless for days due to the pain. My mom was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 years after she started having symptoms at the age of 33 after she birthed my youngest sister. All the doctors told her it was postpartum and that it would blow over. By the time she got to Mayo clinic, she needed a full shoulder replacement.
No matter what ur health problems are Dr's solution is for u to lose weight.
My fibroid was larger than a pint size, yet the doctor decided to go on it and cut the blood supply to it so it could die. Embolizing it. This procedure is good for fibroids which are less than 1/4 - 1/2 inch! The procedure costed me 2500$ since it was a private clinic, I did my research, spoke with the doctor, he said “I qualify” and the procedure is 100% safe! It suppose to be an in and out, no overnighter in the hospital, every review said that all the women were smiling during the procedure, joking with the doctor and they went home couple of hours after. Well, I ended up staying in the hospital for more than two days because of the pain, was unable to move, and after I left (they almost evicted me because “the pain is in my head and I am making it up, because there is no way it hurts so much”). I went back to him for follow up within a month, three months and six months, while I was still complaining that it hurts! He said, along with the OB-GYN lady doctor that “is normal”.
Guess I need to get a 3rd opinion on my 7cm cyst. Geez! I'm also having to go to a female neurologist because the guy I went to did not want to address my degenerative disc disease or my spondylosis. He just wanted to talk about my blue eyes and my dysosmia that the only treatments for it are anecdotal at best. NO, I WILL NOT be your blue eyed guinea pig!
I have an undiagnosed fatal condition... I am not a hypochondriac... Nor am I a Google "Doctor"... I have a background in biochemistry and statistics... And I also set up the scenario of not telling any of my friends what the condition was nor any of the symptoms... To combat my own conformation bias... And several have on their own pointed out concern about symptoms they've seen... Each person has brought up a different issue as my condition continues to deteriorate... Without any mention from me... Except them watching me continue to get worse and suffer and struggle more as time goes on... The condition can be fatal within less than year if not caught and treated rather early on... it typically has a life expectancy of around 7 years and my first symptoms started really started affecting my day to day about 6 years ago... So I'm not very happy about the circumstances but I'm dealing with it the best I can... So yes my weight will cost me my life... But not because of the extra lbs.
3I have an undiagnosed fatal condition... I am not a hypochondriac... Nor am I a Google "Doctor"... I have a background in biochemistry and statistics... And I also set up the scenario of not telling any of my friends what the condition was nor any of the symptoms... To combat my own conformation bias... And several have on their own pointed out concern about symptoms they've seen... Each person has brought up a different issue as my condition continues to deteriorate... Without any mention from me... Except them watching me continue to get worse and suffer and struggle more as time goes on... The condition can be fatal within less than year if not caught and treated rather early on... it typically has a life expectancy of around 7 years and my first symptoms started really started affecting my day to day about 6 years ago... So I'm not very happy about the circumstances but I'm dealing with it the best I can... So yes my weight will cost me my life... But not because of the extra lbs
A dear friend of mine is 45. Since she was in the her twenties she has had a severe pain in her back. She lost weight. They said it wasn't enough. She had gastric bypass. Despite doing as much as she could - the weight came back. Her knees buckle and it's easy to see how much pain she is in every time she stands up to wash her hands or cook an egg. She started self medicating with massive amounts of alcohol and barely survived. She became suicidal. Finally they gave her a standing x-ray....she has spina bifida. Assholes.
The number of hoops I had to jump through to get my heavy menstrual bleeding permanently under control with surgery was ridiculous. Kept trying to convince me to just take birth control. No thank you. Too many side effects and that's just putting a Band Aid on the problem.
I have no cartilage in my knee from an old injury. i was told to lose weight and it wouldn't hurt as much. So, will losing weight cause the cartilage to grow back? No?
I had a terrible rash on my arms. I went to a clinic for help. The doctor told me to go home. He said come back when you have lost 50lb and I'll give you something for the rash. WTH
Reading through this list I suddenly realised why US medicine adverts always say "ask your doctor about X", as if you, the patient are 100% responsible for all your medical care and needs, and doctors don't really do anything. And it's because you *are* and they *don't*! And I am so sorry.
I'm extremely overweight and logically and rationally I understand that my weight can cause a huge number of issues. I also understand that doctor's are like every other profession-- mistakes can be made. But one of the things I saw here over and over is this idea that they can't test because of your weight. One woman said 'they can't test by palpitation...'. Well can't they do scans or ultrasounds? It's my health insurance so it's not like I'm not paying for it (honestly that shouldn't even be an issue but I'm trying to figure out why they don't want to do this). I don't go to doctor's anymore because I just feel like I could have a car accident and a broken arm and they'd tell me it's because of my weight. I just wish they'd at least review other options. Like, 'we can't detect anything by palpitation because of your weight, but lets schedule an ultrasound and see if we can see anything.' Instead of it being like 'we don't want to waste our resources on you because you're fat.'
These types of stories are all too common. I am so fortunate to have found a fantastic Dr that understands why I have so many issues that impact my weight. I have regular blood tests, specialist appts and am monitored regularly. There are so many health issues that cause weight problems. Too bad many drs don't seem to understand that.
Not just America as someone mentioned. My friend spent years going to various doctors complaining about abdominal pain, troubles with breathing and several other symptoms. Always got the same mean comments about being overweight, noone would run any tests and the inly advice was eat less, move more. After several years she finally found a good doctor - celliac disease and type 1 diabetes which has already affected her heart and other organs.
I've seen doctors blow off a patient with blood coming out of their ear with "You're just clenching your jaw." Really? I *am* an MD ---- I have practiced ----- and ears bleeding may b an infection, a ruptured eardrum, who knows what, but you sure as he** don't diagnose it with a glance and a shrug. (FYI, it was an abscess of the inner ear. I can share that, b/c I *was* the patient. And since I can't look in my own ear... by the time the specialist saw me, it was scarred, and I'll always have a little issue in that ear. Thanks, fellow medical "professionals".)
Yep! 20 years of painful, debilitating periods. I would routinely be incapacitated and/or vomiting from pain. Sometimes my periods would last for MONTHS. Was told it was normal and to lose weight. "If you were more active you wouldn't be in so much pain". I go to the gym 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day but ok. Got a new doctor and said, if you can find ANY reason to get rid of this uterus, please do it. I'm so tired of being in pain. One ultrasound later she says "you have adenomyosis, let's get that outta you." After surgery she casually mentioned that when she was in there, it turned out I have severe endometriosis as well. I was in substantially LESS pain immediately after surgery than I had been in 20 years. SMH
I had very heavy periods for years. Doctors told me to loose weight and I'd be fine. Until one day the bleeding didn't stop. A month later I'm having a hysterectomy and being told I have stage 3 uterine cancer. 6 years ago, and so far I'm fine. I also had my back pain dismissed because of my weight, turns out I have a stenosis in my lower spine. I get my weight contributed to these things but 1)it didn't cause it and more importantly 2)losing weight would not have cured either.
My migraines were always blamed on: being overweight OR being a woman so it is natural. Lost weight, still had migraines from hell. Guess who has scoliosis?
This has to be America. I had uterus cancer diagnosed immediately when i started spotting regularly. Had an internal ultrasound booked as soon as i saw my doctor first time with symptoms. Also had a pap smear and referral toa gyno at the local hospital. BEFORE i saw the gyno i was booked for an MRI. By the time i saw him he was ready to advise that i hix experience it was likely to be cancer. Booked within 2 weeks for a biopsy and internal clean up, sorry not recalling the medical term for that procedure. Was rung at work to come in as soon as possible 3 days after that op and told that yep it was cancer. IT WASNT EVEN AS BIG AS A 20 CENT PIECE. How can something the size being described here be so regularly ignored in comparison.? It makes me sick to know misogyny is so prevalent in the 21st century.
My SIL gained 100 lbs in 3 months. Went to dozens of doctors who told her she's eating too much. She became anorexic and would exercise 5 hours a day and still gained weight. It took 5 years to finally get a Dr who ran a simple blood test that led to a CT scan and finding a massive tumor. It made her sterile, which was soul crushing because they had been trying to have a child and learned if she wasn't dismissed 5 years earlier as being a lazy fat person (doctor's words), it would have been possible.
My wife has been fighting pain in her foot. It would swell, ankle too. We asked our doctor about it. Doctor said some people have that problem. I asked doctor, we'll aren't you going to do any test or schedule for a specialist? No. Just take ibuprofen. Well now she can hardly walk on it. Yes we found a specialist ourselves. I also had an issue. She prescribed a pill to help control it. I told her I'm tired of these band aids for our problems. We need to find out the CAUSE of them and address that issue. Well we are looking into finding another doctor too. You know your body more than doctors. You know if something doesn't feel right. They should listen more and quit acting like you're a druggy looking for a fix.
It upsets me every time I see doctors ridicule people who find their diagnosis online. This is why. Some of us would not be alive today if we didn't get help with our diagnosis online.
Diagnosed with approximately five fibroids. Lets wait and see. Wait and see. Wait and see. No treatment offered. No information given. Then all of a sudden it's hysterectomy time - no we can't do it laparoscopically - it's too big for that. Get ready for a nine-inch incision. Second opinion: more like 15-20 fibroids ranging from jellybeans to baseballs. I was offered a less invasive procedure that was one week off work instead of six. Scar the size of pencil lead instead of a frankenstein tummy. Guess who I went with? It was still bad and I got some awful care at the hospital, but at least I didn't let an uncaring and inexperienced doctor cut me open. I might still need a hysterectomy in the future, but now my 6-month pregnancy-sized uterus is back to normal and can avoid the open abdominal surgery.
Spent 10 years in agony due to gall stones. When the dr finally signed for the ultra sound an cat scan it was a bit late. My gall bladder had calcified into a rock. The nerves would send signals to a dead zone an cripple me if I even ate a cracker. When I was in surgery he was doing it endoscopically and was trying so had to get that last bit out that he tore my liver. I woke up also during the surgery because he wouldn't listen that meds wear off fast on me. Two gall stones the size of kiwis. I got to keep one. A messed up liver so now I can have two and a half beers or two cocktails before it starts hurting or I get sick. Fun
Tuca and Bertie (animated show) just had an episode about this common situation. How the #1 treatment out of EVERY doctors mouth is to lose 10lbs. Because that magically will fix everything? Migraines? Lose 10lbs… Odd-looking mole? Lose 10lbs… cut off a limb and need it sewn back on? Have you tried losing 10lbs???
I have celiac disease. My mom diagnosed me after 10 years of undiagnosed symptoms by reading a medical journal. The main symptom was unexplained weight gain, which every single solitary doctor said was due to me eating more food than I claimed I was. No matter how vehemently I insisted I was exercising 3+ hours a day and starving myself (calorie intake so low I'm embarrassed to admit it), they all pretty much rolled their eyes and called me a liar.
went to e.r in Cali when i was 12 for a painful mass under my ear. Dr said it was a clogged saliva gland. No tests were done. then at 16 went to another Dr in AZ for same issue and told the Dr what the last one said, again no tests and just a clogged saliva gland. Then in AZ when I was pregnant at 20 my Dr sent me to a specialist who actually did tests and. confirmed it WASN'T my saliva gland. They couldn't do any more tests because of being pregnant. Finally after moving back to CA my Primary was relentless about diagnosing it sent me to several specialists and finally was told it was a tumor. Adenoid Cystic Carcinoma, that was when I was 22/23 years old. It took 10+ years and many Drs to find out I had cancer. Edit. The only Drs who did any tests or sent me to specialists were females
Doctors hates a person who started their own research (no the YouTube/tiktok research) on medical papers and a dictionary on sites like scielo, scholar, libraries on line from colleges, etc. Because no one hears us. Nobody cares about how bad could be hearing a doctor saying "you must lose weight" but they will not treat why even if you don't eat anything for a week, don't loose a gram. A paper on scisielo said I had thyroid problems. Made a test and. There was. All my problems were because my thyroid gland was lazy. Now I'm anemic and taking a lot of meds because some damage was permanent. A doctor said that I've not procastinated my attention my problems were smaller
I've got the same story. Years ago, Something definitely wasn't normal, went to the Gyno and he very matter-of-factly mentioned: "okay, you know you have a fibroid right?" "No!" "Yes, it's about grapefruit sized, but it's okay, if you aren't in pain or have other symptoms, then this is fine". Four more years I lived with it, no symptoms really, except my abdomen had swollen and sex was uncomfortable sometimes. Finally it got to the point that I was tired of my huge, very hard abdomen and saw a different OB-GYN, and she said "yep, we can remove it", it was 8 pounds, and I definitely had people tell me I looked pregnant. At 30 I had a hysterectomy as my only choice, and I lost 8 pounds that day. It's funny, I never wanted children until they told me I couldn't
In shock reading this. I had a huge cyst removed last year. GP didn’t think it was that at first but still referred me to hospital. An ultrasound and I was at the Gyn/oncologist’s office in two days. COVID meant a delay in surgery and the uterine biopsy was horrible, but I was always taken seriously, listened to. Can’t imagine what these people have had go through
Women are getting a raw deal and we all need to join together and get things changed "before we die"
Modern research is clear: diets cause most people to end up gaining more weight in the long run. I hear those comments all the time: "They did keto for a while, but now they're rounder than ever." My partner and I have both been through that 3 or 4 times. If I ever hear this come up with a doctor, they are getting an earfull. If they had the answers to weight and health, wealthy nations wouldn't be majority overweight and obese.
Yup. That's how I lost my mother. She was laying on the sofa, screaming in pain and literally saying she was going to die. GP said: "nothing is wrong, your stomac is just a little upset". 30 minutes later she was dead, hearthfailure. I was 10 and she was 38.
I went to a doc earlier this month about vaginally spotting. I'm on a birth control that makes it so I don't have periods. Haven't had one in years. Blood from that area only has been due to other issues like UTI or infected duct. So I went to this doctor and she just said that occasionally women spot and there is nothing to be worried about. And left it at that. I told her my family history, and my own that dealt with reproductive organ issues. She begrudgingly scheduled me for an ultrasound. Just was notified today that they need to do an MRI for something they found on the ultrasound. We know our bodies, ladies.
When my wife gave birth to our son, not all of the placenta detached so she needed a DNC. About a week later, something feel out of her while she was in the bathroom. My mom was staying with us so she took care of our son and we rushed to the emergency room. Got there between shifts apparently because the first doctor didn't do much and the next one was about to send us on our way when I tossed the bag at him that had the piece in it and said "no one looked at this!" turned out they didn't get all the placenta tissue the first time and had to do an emergency DNC again.
Having a mental health diagnosis also tends to make everything psychosomatic in doctors' eyes. Had acid reflux for years that I was told was due to anxiety. Turns out it's caused by hernia, but I needed to literally be puking up blood to even get any treatment beyond diapam for it. Also as you can imagine it affected my mood, because I thought I was having way more anxiety than I really was.
Let me tell you my friends, it was not “normal”. One year after this procedure, I got myself an MRI and the doctor who read my result said that I need a doctor ASAP, like yesterday. I managed the pain with some over the counter painkillers, but sometimes wasn't enough anymore. At one point I was not able to walk, stand or anything involving movement. I somehow managed to hide everything from my family, nobody suspected anything…I was so good. To end the story: I ended up being septic and in organ failure! The ER doctor gave me less than a week to live! Luckily, after nine months in the hospital, I made a good and acceptable recovery so I was sent home, but not before I suffered four different surgeries! Always listen to your body! Always! The story cannot be related in just a few words. There are more happening in between, but yes…
My grandmother had a benign tumour (cyst?) the size of a baby's head removed in the sixties. They'd found it earlier but she wanted to wait until all three of her kids were older and could look after themselves, as it was a major surgery back then. They gave her a full hystorectomy. My mum went in for her appendix about ten years back, they found dozens of smaller cysts all over her womb. Full hysteroctomy (and appendectomy) but this one was laparoscopic. I have already mentioned the possibility of me getting them to all of my doctors I've had over the years.
Part 3: BTW, I don't live in America. I live in South Africa. You know, where the first heart transplant ever was done? We actually don't have the worst healthcare, so I frickin sucks to have to deal with laze, uncaring doctors.
Part 2: So I have a serious discussion with my fiancé, basically telling him why I am going off birth control pills and he is super supportive! As soon as I go off the birth control, my period stays an average of 5 days (so at least that part was true, thanks doc) but i suddenly start getting bad ovulation pain each month. Now, I used to get these when I was a teenager, but due to having been on the pill nearly a decade I have forgotten this and am now fully freaked out about this pain - mostly because my mother had been diagnosed with cervical cancer a few years before this. So I go to my Gynae and explain the pain, searching for a solution. This guys' ACTUAL response: "Yes, some woman struggle with ovulation pain, we advise them to go on birth control pills". I was like "Nope, f*ck this!" and never went back to that doctor. Why do we as woman have to hear that, yes some woman have these symptoms, but no, no one is actually trying to find out the cause and fix this problem. I'm done.
Part 1: I got on birth control pills at the age of 19 for two reasons: 1. I used to get HEAVY periods that lasted 9 - 10 days (this started when I hit puberty so by this time I thought it was normal, until a doctor suggested I try birth control to 'regulate my hormones', and 2. To practice safe sex (I also made use of condoms for STI security). All this because at 19, as a woman, I knew it was my OWN responsibility to be as safe as possible if I was going to be sexually active. Fast forward almost 10 years, I'm struggling with mood swings, I have constant discharge throughout my cycle (apparently a one in 100 000 likelihood - how fun), I get UTI infections almost once a month, I get debilitating migraines at least once a month, my hair is falling out and I'm struggling to climax during intercourse. So I do my research, all of these are commonly linked to using birth control pills. Great!!! So at this time, I'm in a serious, monogamous relationship (soon to be married).
First time I saw my doctor shortly before covid started, I brought up my back pain and she just said "It's because of your weight" and refused to do any tests. I mentioned both that I've had issues with pain since I was a kid and also that I was my late wife's 24/7 caregiver for 8 years, which is very physically demanding. She didn't care. My pain has gotten worse since then, despite losing weight. I'm ready to just give up and end it.
This is heart wrenching. My family is full of medical professionals - dead and alive - who live by my grandpa's words of wisdom: "We're only practicing medicine. When we don't know, we ask." That man didn't serve in WWII because he was tasked with delivering babies and livestock in three counties. Learning all the time. Humble to the core and gone too soon. RIP, Grandpa Doc.
The year I turned 30 I started having excruciating pelvic pain. I went to the ER several times, was disregarded. Go to my gynecologist that I had been going to since I was 14, she disregards me for several months until I complained enough where she conceded to do a laparoscopy. She didn't find anything, so, when I was still in pain after the laparoscopy, she flat out told me and my mother that I was attention seeking and wanting pain pills. So I ended up going to Oprah's gynecologist. She was much more sympathetic, put me in a temporary 3-month menopause, but the pain did not dissipate. Luckily, she knew of a pelvic pain specialist that was able to properly diagnose me within 5 minutes with interstitial cystitis. It took a total of 3 years to get a diagnosis. I actually lost a job because my boss was convinced that I was going to get pain medication when I was actually having bladder instillations every two weeks, where they pump lidocaine and some other stuff into your bladder with a catheter. That forced me to learn how to self catheterize and pump the medications myself, because my boss was no longer okay with me going to see the doctor on a biweekly basis. Now, at 42, I'm having neurological symptoms that are relatively severe, and I am terrified that it's going to be another excruciatingly long process to get a proper diagnosis. I've gotten really good at advocating for myself, figuring out what's wrong with me and forcing my doctors to perform the proper testing, but I'm terrified with the neurological symptoms. And I'm still in excruciating pain every single day from fibromyalgia, interstitial cystitis and I have ridiculously excruciating periods where I am useless for days due to the pain. My mom was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 years after she started having symptoms at the age of 33 after she birthed my youngest sister. All the doctors told her it was postpartum and that it would blow over. By the time she got to Mayo clinic, she needed a full shoulder replacement.
No matter what ur health problems are Dr's solution is for u to lose weight.
My fibroid was larger than a pint size, yet the doctor decided to go on it and cut the blood supply to it so it could die. Embolizing it. This procedure is good for fibroids which are less than 1/4 - 1/2 inch! The procedure costed me 2500$ since it was a private clinic, I did my research, spoke with the doctor, he said “I qualify” and the procedure is 100% safe! It suppose to be an in and out, no overnighter in the hospital, every review said that all the women were smiling during the procedure, joking with the doctor and they went home couple of hours after. Well, I ended up staying in the hospital for more than two days because of the pain, was unable to move, and after I left (they almost evicted me because “the pain is in my head and I am making it up, because there is no way it hurts so much”). I went back to him for follow up within a month, three months and six months, while I was still complaining that it hurts! He said, along with the OB-GYN lady doctor that “is normal”.
Guess I need to get a 3rd opinion on my 7cm cyst. Geez! I'm also having to go to a female neurologist because the guy I went to did not want to address my degenerative disc disease or my spondylosis. He just wanted to talk about my blue eyes and my dysosmia that the only treatments for it are anecdotal at best. NO, I WILL NOT be your blue eyed guinea pig!
I have an undiagnosed fatal condition... I am not a hypochondriac... Nor am I a Google "Doctor"... I have a background in biochemistry and statistics... And I also set up the scenario of not telling any of my friends what the condition was nor any of the symptoms... To combat my own conformation bias... And several have on their own pointed out concern about symptoms they've seen... Each person has brought up a different issue as my condition continues to deteriorate... Without any mention from me... Except them watching me continue to get worse and suffer and struggle more as time goes on... The condition can be fatal within less than year if not caught and treated rather early on... it typically has a life expectancy of around 7 years and my first symptoms started really started affecting my day to day about 6 years ago... So I'm not very happy about the circumstances but I'm dealing with it the best I can... So yes my weight will cost me my life... But not because of the extra lbs.
3I have an undiagnosed fatal condition... I am not a hypochondriac... Nor am I a Google "Doctor"... I have a background in biochemistry and statistics... And I also set up the scenario of not telling any of my friends what the condition was nor any of the symptoms... To combat my own conformation bias... And several have on their own pointed out concern about symptoms they've seen... Each person has brought up a different issue as my condition continues to deteriorate... Without any mention from me... Except them watching me continue to get worse and suffer and struggle more as time goes on... The condition can be fatal within less than year if not caught and treated rather early on... it typically has a life expectancy of around 7 years and my first symptoms started really started affecting my day to day about 6 years ago... So I'm not very happy about the circumstances but I'm dealing with it the best I can... So yes my weight will cost me my life... But not because of the extra lbs
A dear friend of mine is 45. Since she was in the her twenties she has had a severe pain in her back. She lost weight. They said it wasn't enough. She had gastric bypass. Despite doing as much as she could - the weight came back. Her knees buckle and it's easy to see how much pain she is in every time she stands up to wash her hands or cook an egg. She started self medicating with massive amounts of alcohol and barely survived. She became suicidal. Finally they gave her a standing x-ray....she has spina bifida. Assholes.
The number of hoops I had to jump through to get my heavy menstrual bleeding permanently under control with surgery was ridiculous. Kept trying to convince me to just take birth control. No thank you. Too many side effects and that's just putting a Band Aid on the problem.
I have no cartilage in my knee from an old injury. i was told to lose weight and it wouldn't hurt as much. So, will losing weight cause the cartilage to grow back? No?
I had a terrible rash on my arms. I went to a clinic for help. The doctor told me to go home. He said come back when you have lost 50lb and I'll give you something for the rash. WTH
