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“No, It’s Permanent”: TikToker Shares How A Gynecologist Refused To Sterilize Her And Goes Viral
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“No, It’s Permanent”: TikToker Shares How A Gynecologist Refused To Sterilize Her And Goes Viral

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Tubal ligation is a surgical procedure to prevent pregnancy. It has commonly been called “getting your tubes tied,” and is also known as female sterilization.

According to ACOG (The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists,) it is ethically permissible to perform a requested sterilization in nulliparous women and young women who do not wish to have children. Providing a permanent sterilization within a reproductive justice framework means that physicians recognize that all women have a right to pursue and to prevent pregnancy.

Sadly, many physicians still approach sterilization requests, particularly from young women, with paternalism. This is what happened to 22-year-old Olivia, who shared her conversation with a gynecologist on TikTok.

In a now-viral video that amassed 2M views, Olivia reenacted the appointment she had where a gynecologist declined her request for sterilization, saying ‘no’ and ‘it’s permanent.’ Below is the full video Olivia posted on her channel that sparked a very important conversation about women’s rights to choose what’s best for them, especially when it comes to their bodies and reproduction systems.

This 22-year-old woman shared how she was refused to be considered for sterilization by a gynecologist, after asserting she did not want children

Image credits: lvdwns

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Image credits: lvdwns

Image credits: lvdwns

Olivia received an overwhelming amount of support from other women online expressing their lawful right to decide whether they want to have children or not. “I’ve learned that a significant amount of women have been in the same position being denied tubal litigation and similar procedures,” she commented to the press.

Olivia’s video amassed 2M views and sparked a much-needed conversation about women’s rights and their choice not to have kids

@lvdwns Got the death sentence today #childfree #gyno #birthcontrol #ewkidsaregross ♬ original sound – Olivia

The woman whose TikTok video went viral says she’s “only 22, unmarried with no children so I wasn’t surprised by my doctor’s response, however a lot of women with several children already are being denied the procedure on the basis that they might want more, or perhaps that they might remarry and their next husband may want a child of his own.”

Image credits: lvdwns

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@lvdwns Reply to @faith_acosta132 part 2! Jokes aside this is a deeper issue than just “not wanting kids” #greenscreen #childfree #gynecologist #healthcare #scotus #reproductiverights #womensrights ♬ Music For a Sushi Restaurant – Harry Styles

Image credits: lvdwns

According to Olivia, a woman should not be denied care based on her own decision about her own body in the case of a hypothetical divorce/man. “I’m frustrated in my own case, but I can’t imagine these women’s frustration and pain.”

This woman stated something so obvious that sadly doesn’t get talked about enough

So she shared her experience on what reactions she gets from other people

@lvdwns Reply to @carolinelfranco they throw a boomer tantrum as soon as the words leave your lips. Like this concept is so outdated #childfree #womenshealth #birthcontrol #womensrights ♬ original sound – Olivia

She specifically addressed all the men who kept commenting about her decision

@lvdwns Reply to @cameron_ehringer693 call me selfish but I’m not doing that to my body lol #womenshealth #reproductiverights #birthcontrol #tuballigation ♬ original sound – Olivia

The conversation on women’s rights to sterilization and physicians’ paternalism sparked another much-needed debate on the fact that many people still fail to realize: not all women want children and this is totally fine. Olivia said she received support from fellow women who also lack a desire for kids.

“A lot of women were commenting their relief to see someone else with the same ‘child free’ mindset. I guess in the past it’s been pretty taboo for a woman to not want children, never mind be vocal about it, so I’m glad to be a voice for all of the women who feel isolated in that belief,” she commented and added that now that social norms are changing, it’s easier to talk about things like this, although there still is a lot of pushback.

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More women joined the conversation and shared their own similar experiences

Here’s how people reacted to her video

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zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This makes me so mad. It took my sister almost 15 years with severe endo to find someone who would do a hysterectomy. I can't even stress how effed up and patronizing the argument "you might regret it later" is. 1) No one tells that to young men wanting a vasectomy 2) Yes I might regret it but I am an ADULT and I get to make my own mistakes if it turns out to be one and 3) I can get a facial tattoo with no questions asked and they are permanent and a lot of people will regret them at some point and while I am ranting 4) kids are permanent and some women regret having them so how is all this not valid??

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Also a hysterectomy for endometriosis is not done "because i dont want children" (even if she doesnt). Its done to treat a severe chronic illness. But apparently a hypothetical baby is more important than a womans health...

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rpepperpot avatar
The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When a hypothetical man's hypothetical wishes are deemed more important than your personal decisions about your own body...

freyathewanderer_1 avatar
Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That so many OB/GYNs are such asshats burns me up! They regard women as brood cows. Meanwhile, a man wants a vasectomy, no problemo! We women are the ones who go through the nine months of hell called pregnancy, but only men are allowed control their reproductive capacity. Shame, shame, ten thousand times shame on those patronizing, condescending dips!

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sk_1988 avatar
JJ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I experienced the same at her age. I never wanted children. Additionally another specialist found out that hormonal contraception or a pregnancy will very likely kill me. Even that wasn't enough to get a sterilization. Luckily after a year I found a doctor about 500km from where I live who does sterilizations on women that age. I told him about my journey of denial by other doctors and he answered, "It's all BS. You're over 18, an adult and you can speak for yourself. The other medical conditions make it even more reasonable. If you want it, that's all that matters. And if you really change your mind, there's IVF, adoptions or fostering." It's now 9 years and I don't regret anything. PS: Mr Right was with me back then and still is, not wanting to have children either.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it mind-boggling that a doctor would rather risk a woman's life than her future relationships. As if every man on the planet wants children and is willing to risk killing his partner for it.

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andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the women here suffering from the sexism of doctors. There is a reddit called childfree that has a great list of doctors who are sterilisation friendly all over the world. Please check.

violet-marion-swanson avatar
Squirrel Girl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

doctors like this always think we're going to wake up on our birthday and be like "me want baby!"

shopgirl012974 avatar
Alicia M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just young, childless woman either. I had my tubes tied at age 40, after giving birth to my third child. I was married. We were done having kids. My third child was a surprise, and I didn't want to have to keep taking hormones the rest of my life. I was still asked, about a hundred times, if I was sure I wanted this, and had to switch hospitals because the original hospital I picked refused to do the procedure. It shouldn't be so difficult.

suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm curious if the original hospital was a Catholic-sponsored hospital. They run many big city hospitals but also a lot of small town & rural hospitals where they are the only hospital. They refuse to make the woman's life a priority over the baby's & they discourage or just won't do tubal ligations. I'll leave it up to men commenters as to whether they will do vasectomies. Ready a very sad story about one couple. The birth was difficult and he asked that the doctors focus on saving the wife as opposed to the baby. They refused. It was a Catholic hospital. Now he's raising a baby without his wife. It's just disgusting. I don't think you should be able to refuse to do legal procedures on people because of YOUR religion. If you can't handle it, go be a podiatrist. There needs to be a few big, fat lawsuits.

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pbwilson avatar
P B Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow!!! I had no idea! So much for women's rights. Not to mention individual rights to your own body.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I told the specialist that I'm adamant I didnt want anymore children and that if I ever fell pregnant, I WILL get an abortion. I made sure I gave them as many reasons as possible to not deny me having a salpingectomy (fallopian tube removal). Didn't take them long to make the decision after that. And yes, even after getting your tubes tied or removed, you can still fall pregnant with IVF if you ever change your mind. Not saying you will coz I know I certainly won't. In saying all this, we shouldn't have to jump through hoops or be told what we want or should do when it comes to our bodies.

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife tried for years to do this. Finally (yeah, it was slow to break through my thick head) I went in for a vasectomy. Damned doctor wanted not only my opinion on it, but hers too. My wife is pushing 50 now and I still suspect, if she asked, her doctor would try to push some BS agenda about her not having kids.

nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew at 12 I didn't want children. My reaction to "becoming a woman" was anger. I wanted nothing to do with it. I was told I would change my mind as I got older. I heard this c**p in my late teens, early 20s, mid and late 20s. Was told the clock is ticking and I could still change my mind in my early and mid 30s. By my late 30s it was "With medical advancements today, you can still carry a child to term safely." Hit my 40s, and the c**p still rolled in. By my mid-40s I have people telling me about the 67 year old in India who had a baby. Good for her. Not for me. And you would think menopause would shut down the discussion. No. Now, in my 50s, I get, "You could still adopt." Holy freaking Mother of G*d why don't people mind their own business?

heatherwatson avatar
Bittersweetie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief. Not even an informed argument from the doc. Tubal ligation is only considered sterilization because of it's effectiveness rate (99%) but it is by no means, always permanent -should one choose reversal which has pretty darn good odds. Exam room soapboxes aren't cool for something like this.

lavenderkismet avatar
Ribbon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sort of thing is literally why two of my friends are talking about maybe getting temporarily platonically married. Just so one of them can get a hysterectomy (*never* wants kids, has awful period pain, health issues, ect.). That way if/when she's met with the whole "well what about your husband", she can point to him and he'll back her up on the decision. While it's sweet they're willing to do that kind of thing for each other, it's so stupid that she needs a man's approval to do what she wants with *her* body.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They dont need to marry. Just have the guy pretend that its her husband.

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teetznnqgzmxtwvuxs avatar
ttttt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women are often ignored by modern science. A man going in to get a vasectomy is never lectured to about wanting kids.

maureenmcdermott avatar
MMcD
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're lectured too. I read some of the comments below b/c my friend's husband was questioned. Their fourth was a lovely surprise (a girl after three boys), but they didn't want more suprises.

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kellid1202 avatar
Kelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. They did this to my sister, who was mid 30’s with two kids. Refused because she had two girls and thought she might later get a boy! So fricking infuriating!

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you scream at them like the devil himself possessed your lungs they back down from talking that s**t. But it really shouldn't be necessary to rage like hell in order to be taken seriously.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been told this too. For f***s sake I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND HAVE AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER.

s-shane-shelton avatar
Shane S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honest question and absolutely no disrespect, but why would you need a tubal ligation if you don’t have intercourse with men? Again, no disrespect at all. Learning opportunity.

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dan_31 avatar
That'sEndorable
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Presenting an IUD as if it were a 100% effective alternative is just plain bad medicine. The 99% success rate is a success rate per year, not over a lifetime. So if you're fertile for 25 years (say, 15 to 40), there's a 1-in-4 chance you'll be faced with having to choose between giving birth to an unwanted child and ... not giving birth to an unwanted child. This is much better than condoms, which have a 98% effectiveness rate, presuming you use them correctly (have you ever read the directions??!!!) and consistently. Let's say you have sex while ovulating an average of once a month... At those odds, you'll likely have an unwanted pregnancy within 4 years! Allowing women to get their tubes tied is pro-life.

lavenderkismet avatar
Ribbon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus IUDs mildly raise the risk of ectopic pregnancy, something that's not only incredibly traumatic on both a physical and mental level, but can be life-threatening. (Here's the source I used to verify this: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12317373/ ). While IUDs definitely are a good fit for some people, recklessly treating an IUD like some kind of "cure all" is not good practice. As things are now in the medical system, we are being set up to fail. And for what?

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say, "Okay, I'm going to need your home address so I can drop off the newborn when I'm forced to have it."

tobyshad avatar
Laura Edwards
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is normal for now. I had a hysterectomy at 36. Doc says no you'll regret it. I ended up having ovarian cancer and no, I do not regret it.

gargarita-mica-08 avatar
Boreddd🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's just kinda sad. Like, these idiots buried in their illusion that all women want kids, trying to force their opinions on other people. Like STFU AND DO YOUR JOB. It's not your problem if I'll ever decide: "Oh wait, I actually want kids". I can f*****g adopt.

s-shane-shelton avatar
Shane S
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother had her tubes tied when she got pregnant with me. Regardless, the planet is over-populated and dying. We should be working towards any solution that keeps more people from being born.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. The people who insist that it's "God’s plan" that everyone reproduce haven't been paying attention to what we are doing to the planet. 8 billion is too many people!

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dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile, a 22 year-old guy can schedule a vasectomy today and have it done next week without anyone questioning it. No one is gonna tell him about how he might meet "Ms. Right" and want kids with her. Yes, I know vasectomies can be reversed, but still. . .

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously it is because a womans opinion and desires are less important than a mans. Our feeble female brain cannot make this decisions. /s

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rosiemcleod avatar
AnyOtherName
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in the UK, my family member asked to be sterilised but they refused. She's had a still born baby, then a healthy daughter then twin boys. She's definitely done and knows she doesn't want anymore. They agreed to sterilise her husband though. I don't get it

contact_213 avatar
APL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weeeeell, from the NHS's point of view, a vasectomy is a damn sight quicker, cheaper and safer than tubal ligation. And the same if the couple ever wants it reversed. If the couple is strong enough to survive a stillbirth then sterilising the husband is as good as sterilising the wife.

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idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see this all the time in the CF sub on reddit. Women being denied the procedure, while an 18 y/o guy can go in and get the snip no problem. It's infuriating. I'm so tired of women still being treated as second class citizens in 2022. We're actually losing our rights and moving backwards in the progress we've made.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are. We are seen only as walking uteruses with no other value. We were making progress but the last devade we have gone backwards. Gender (= pretending that women and men are different) is more important than in decades. Like the gender reveal parties.

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rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, a woman should have the choice to get this done, regardless of their reasons. But it really burns me up to read the comments here by people who already had children, and those with legitimate medical issues that were still denied. I chose not to have children myself because of mental health issues and being on a lot of medication. I never sought to get my tubes tied but I bet I would have been denied even though that was a perfectly valid reason and I feel a very responsible choice. But, regardless, women shouldn't be bullied into having children just because society expects them to. Our planet is overpopulated so there is literally no need for everyone to reproduce, and there are too many unwanted children already.

sidda7 avatar
No Diggity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never wanted kids, I tried at 27 and was denied and told I prob couldn't have kids anyway because of scare tissue from a surgery. Literally the one and only time hubs and I didn't use protection I got pregnant. I ended up having to quite grad school, ruining my education and career. THEN I had cancer at 37 and could no longer take hormonal birth control, and was still denied. My husband made one doc apt and got a vasectomy no questions asked. It's absolute BS.

modina85 avatar
Modina Montefort
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never wanted kids. I was 24 when I asked my gyno for a tubal. She said no, you'll change your mind (I didn't). She said, come back when you're 25. I waited until I was 28. She said, are you sure? YES! I'M SURE! So, at 28, I got my tubes tied. As I'm laying on the gurney to go into surgery, I see the doctor and I called her over. She came over and the first words out of her mouth were, Have you changed your mind!? I told her, Hell no! You do whatever you have to do to make this permanent. You cut, tie, burn, remove -- WHATEVER you have to do to make this PERMANENT! Because, if I EVER get pregnant, I am gonna hunt you down, and hurt you bad! She removed an extra centimeter of tubes. My dad, at the time I had it done, was worried that I'd change my mind. Later, he told me, if your mother and I knew then what we know now, your brother and you would not be here. Even later he told me that not having kids was the smartest thing I ever did. I have NEVER regretted it. I'm 65 now.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just bizarre and sick in so many ways. But just as an FYI there are different types of contraceptives, not all make periods worse. (But if you don't want kids tying your tubes seems like the best way.) I have one in my arm that takes them away completely and it has improved my life tremendously. Of course I now pee out hormones that are bad for fish and other water life so that sucks but not having periods is just such a relief. Of course my symptoms were ignored and dismissed for years until someone finally took me seriously and didn't tell me to just suck it up, but that's a different story.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone responds differently to the implanon. Some don't get periods, some irregular and some constant bleeding.

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pipekasuko avatar
Pipe Kasuko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so beyond ludicrous, almost feels like a the Twilight Zone skit.

mr-garyscott avatar
El Dee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is her absolute right to make her own decisions. Should the doctor counsel her to ensure she understands the consequences and to assure herself (the doc) that the patient won't regret it? Yes, seems reasonable. This woman obviously DOES understand and should be getting the procedure. Women making decisions about their own bodies is policed in a way that men aren't..

giustizia avatar
Jus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me furious. I don't want children, never wanted them in 38 years of my life. If I say no, I want to be respected. It's not my obligation to have them.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate somewhat. I’ve suffered PCOS & had undiagnosed endometriosis for years, until more recently (& I’m on heavy-duty pain meds due to the regular agony). When I got the diagnosis, I pleaded with them to see about getting my troublesome ovaries out, especially since I’d never physically be able to have a child, let alone care for one. I also voiced my concerns that I’d be high risk for ovarian cancer, made much worse by the fact that I can’t endure any kind of pelvic exam/screening (with my pain sensitivity, they’d have to knock me out for that, but of course they don’t do that for such exams). Alas, my pleas fell on deaf ears & I was more or less told to “just deal with it”. I’ve had to resort to vaping, just to cope with the crippling pain, as they’ve even taken me off my Oxynorm to boot (they used Covid shortages as an excuse, but that was over a year ago & nothing has improved). Honestly, the whole system is just fudged to high hell. 😕🤷‍♀️

nicolafawcettgrenzner avatar
Nicola Fawcett Grenzner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 41 years old and I still don't want kids. I never changed my mind about it. It's so insulting that doctors deny us like this.

marcel_dizzi avatar
Marcel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We're overpopulating the earth as it is at this rate. If she doesn't want kids... sweet ?

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happens a lot, sadly. Many doctors just don't listen to their patients, especially women patients.

kristypuffer avatar
Kristy P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same happened to me in my mid 30's. I'm 45 and still on the pill. I just switched doctors.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I said this before: I considered having my tubes tied when I lived in the UK. I've known for almost 20 years that I don't ever want children, and I've been living with a great, stable partner with the same mindset for years now. I'm also over 40 so if I don't know my own mind by now I never will. I asked the nurse the next time I went in for my regular contraceptives if it was a good option for me to have my tubes tied. She showed ZERO judgement, did NOT ask a hundred times if I was sure and most certainly did NOT ask if I was even in a relationship, much less what my partner if I had one thought about this. She heard that I said I didn't want children and took it as a fact. From then on the discussion was about my health, medical consequences, pros and cons. If I'd wanted the procedure she would've scheduled it as soon as possible. No repeat consultation, psych exam, permission from anyone etc., just my yes or no. I was grateful for the professionalism.

leas_ avatar
Lea S.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why these doctors aren't immediately fined, charged, or punished in some way.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because in the US our laws are not set up for that. I suppose someone could try a lawsuit to see if that would work. But generally physicians have a great deal of leeway when it comes to deciding what procedures they will perform, especially if it is considered non-medically necessary. Edit: I am not sure why I was downvoted, but to be clear I was NOT saying that I myself considered this surgery unnecessary. Only explaining how things work here. If I got something information wrong, then please by all means correct me. But a downvote does not tell me anything.

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suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if they can force you to risk pregnancy & force you to keep it, they can keep their foot on your neck.

nimabhavansikar avatar
RandomPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people are just... I don't even have words to describe this doctor. people who do things like this make me lose my faith in humanity.

contact_213 avatar
APL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good job this doctor became a gynaecologist instead of an oncologist. "No, we won't remove the cancerous bowel because that's permanent. Maybe you'll go into spontaneous remission."

samanthamelnychuk avatar
Samantha Melnychuk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family has a ton of stuff that I wouldn't want to pass on to an unsuspecting person genetically, let alone the fact that I'm on meds I couldn't stop that are contraindicated during pregnancy for severe medical conditions, and my doctor didn't want me to have a hysterectomy for my severe periods because I might change my mind later. I told her that adoption and fostering are also options later on in life and are completely valid. What if you get divorced and your new husband wants his own kid? I wouldn't marry someone who didn't have parental ideologies that aligned with mine. Why don't you try having a baby? It might get rid of disease X or at least improve it. Are you willing to take the kid and raise it if it makes disease X worse? Because I sure as hell won't be able to, nor will I be willing to financially support it once disease X gets much worse. Doctor '.... No...' can you refer me to this gynecologist if you won't help me out then please? Ok...

hmcastilloest2014 avatar
Moezzzz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to beg for it too. After my 2nd healthy son, while he was in there (it was a c section), the OBGYN still kept saying "are you sure? Your tubes look so beautiful!!" (Weird, yeah, but I worked with him at that same hospital). I told him if he doesn't cut me, the next child will be paid for by HIM!! I was 25 at the time and fought like hell to make sure it was done.

bryleegalloway avatar
RandomFrog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok so I think of this like a tattoo. Like yeah maybe don’t do it as soon as you legally can, but c’mon? Like if someone is in their twenties that’s old enough to decide and I think you should give the operation. If that same person walked into a tattoo shop they would get a tattoo. They’re both permanent!

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Felt the same at 22 and guess what? Still feel the same at 64. Had a hysterectomy at 39 for medical reasons. What shocks me most about this is that a WOMAN is giving advice about waiting for the right man ... OMG!!

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm actually glad I have fibroids so large they necessitate a hysterectomy, because I can't imagine the hell I'd have to go through otherwise. And Thank God my GYN just believed me and didn't argue when I said I didn't want kids.

yvonnedauwalderbalsiger avatar
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always knew I wanted 2 kids and I now have 2. No one ever questioned that and no one ever said, but what about your future man? It makes me angry af that other women are not respected for their choice. But society still has so deeply ingrained expectations of women to behave in a certain way (don't be lazy, but also don't be too ambitious or assertive, do look pretty, attract man and then breed), it's insane. When I say I am bisexual, no one so far has ever questioned my attraction to men either, the apparent "default".

pferryman avatar
Pat Ferryman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my 3rd was born they said do t have anymore one of you won’t survive. I wanted my tubes done they said I need 3 dr to say it had to be done, a psychiatrist had to say I understood, my husband had to say it was ok so at 22 no dice. 3 months later my ovary ruptured Fromm a cycist I ended up with a partial hysterectomy. Men have controlled our. Bodies since Time began I don’t know about you but I’m tired of it

donnamok avatar
Donna Cheung
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was pregnant with #2, I asked the doctor, if I happen to need a C-section, can my tubes be tied at the same time? They said "you have a happy marriage now and don't want any kids, but you don't know about the future", so they said no. Anyway, I didn't have a C-section in the end so no tubes tied, but...

clairelise avatar
clairelise@pacific.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't even want a tubal ligation; (I am not sexually active and don't plan to be in the foreseeable future) I just wanted to stop having my period because it's extremely painful and an impediment to my daily life for 5 days out of the month. So they prescribed me the pill, which puffed me up like a balloon with gas and bloating, gave me headaches and nausea, and made me think about Making a Plan (I think that's called suicidal ideation?) So I took myself off of it, which I was reprimanded for, and then seen by a nurse who told me "well, you just have to decide which you want less: that or a baby." Then he looked at my chart and was like "Ope--- but it looks like you're not taking it for birth control anyway, so you don't need it"

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MikeWheelerFan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m 13 and already want my tubes tied. It sucks how hard it is to get them tied.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With luck by the time that you are older it will have improved a bit :)

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norsepaw avatar
Sivi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were mot pricey would removed mine, but I am happy I got a birthcontroll thats stops my monthly bleeding and pain. One day I will have it removed, got not the greatest mental health and epilepsy as a bonus so no point getting 2nd gen from my end. Brother got our family covered with 3 rascals annyways :D

commiepinkofag avatar
commie pinkofag
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Physical autonomy - absolute, personal control over one's own body - is the core human right, without which all others are meaningless. That said, like any citizens of any self-styled democracy, Americans always deserve the legal system we have: the worst we're willing to tolerate. You get what you put up with.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dont make this about yourncountry. This is a global problem.

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Jen Slavin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ovary burst and I was in my late 30's they only remove the burst one and wouldn't do a complete hysterectomy, I still have issues medical issue with the one they left in and still can't get the damn thing out because I haven't had any kids. Well you may change your mind, really im now late 40's. This drives me crazy, its my body and my health.

mona_1 avatar
Mona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously... this world is about 2 steps away from Handmaid's tale...

wallicktn avatar
Tracy Wallick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was made to sit through a whole presentation of alternative options before military medical would consider sterilizing me; they got to me, I tried to get an IUD, and it was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life (and I've broken bones before).

suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why someone, at least in sue-friendly USA, hasn't brought a lawsuit yet.

kimberlybailey avatar
KimB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't sue because they refuse to operate. It's not life threatening and they can always argue medical necessity.

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Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me think that doctors are getting trained to resist sterilization procedures except in a very narrow set of circumstances, either by the medical community or possibly by the insurance/liability community. The unexpressed thought that follows "what if you change your mind...." is "...and sue me?" When I got my vasectomy, my wife had to agree to it, too, even though they were MY nuts (arguably).

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think that signing the paperwork giving informed consent would take care of the problem of possible lawsuits. I am more inclined to believe that the issue is cultural, and not part of the doctor's training.

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Marsha Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way back in the early 1950s, I remember my mom getting furious on behalf of our neighbor. "Josie" had two kids, and wanted her tubes tied. I was too young to know if it was after her second, or if she had a Caesarean, or what. The doctor refused because *he* was Catholic! She was nominally a Catholic, her husband was not, but this was something that they both wanted. This was long before "the Pill," and even IUDs weren't that common. My mother fumed about it for years, among other reasons, "Who the h**l is he to decide for you?! You're an adult!. It's your body, your choice." Again, that was long before that became a theme in the abortion fight. Mom is turning over in her grave about Roe v Wade being tossed out, and I can practically hear her spitting anger from here, 12 years after she died, still supporting every liberal cause and women's rights at the age of 87.

joanna_hellsing avatar
Joanna Stasiołek
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate the "you will change your mind" stuff. F**k off, I decided when I was very young and I won't change my mind. I want to decide about my body and not have to battle for years. I want to have freedom of making choice what is best for me. I hate that I'm atheist but religion is still making decisions about me.

congobeat avatar
Cammy Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So now, not only can we not choose to NOT have kids, if we get pregnant, we are now forced to have them!

wonderful3382 avatar
Wonderful
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had medical issues and surgeries since I started my period on my uterus and ovaries and all in between. Even with all my medical issues and pleading they wouldn't give me a hysterectomy. Finally after my 7th surgery to remove fibroids and cysts they finally said ok and gave me a hysterectomy at 22. I'm 40 now and still happy I don't have kids. They kept saying I would change my mind and yada yada. I said if I did then I will adopt. So many refusals til one dr finally said yes. I had a full hysterectomy so I take hormone meds daily. Worth it 100%

melanieking avatar
Daffodil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother had hormone irregularities that caused her to have migraines every month during her period and during ovulation. By migraines I mean they were so bad she was bedridden for a few days every time. They tried medicine and stuff, basically all that was left was for her to get a hysterectomy and even though she was married with 3 kids she had to fight to be able to get one. It's such b******t.

juliet_bravo avatar
Jill Bussey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted a hysterectomy for medical reasons at 42. I had two children. It took a lot of persuasion for the doctor to agree to put me forward. I went private in the end. I can't imagine how you felt about your struggles.

katlia avatar
kat lia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i read something like before, a lady wanted to sue her doctor because she asked her to sterilize her because she doesn't want kids and the doctor did it (probably she was on her early 20's back then, forgot which country it is) . 10 yrs after she realized that she want kids. and the argument was the doctor should have refer her to therapist first just to make sure if she really wants to do it because we change our mind everyday. especially when you are younger.

adclendenning avatar
Rukkia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This bothers me so much. I was 28, had two kids, and needed a hysterectomy because I could barely walk anymore due to scar tissue connecting my uterus, cervix and bladder together to my abdominal wall. Still had to have my husbands permission to get it done. This is not healthcare.

moyamcbride avatar
MoMcB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex husband wouldn't sign for me to have a hysterectomy even though it was severely impacting my health. I was 49. He's gone and so is my womb!

veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People do things with permanent effects all the time and even if their change their mind - live with that decision. I don't see why this would be any different. Plus now with the risk of not even having the choice of abortion I absolutely understand. In a stable relationship (otherwise a condom should always be used even if you are sterile) a vasectomy is a better option for birth control as it is a more gentle procedure though...(and I don't agree with surrogacy as an option if you do change your mind - that's often used to exploit and put the risk of pregnancy and childbirth on someone else. If you want a sterilization you shouldn't see surrogacy as an option later on - but that's a detail and another debate.) So, as a final standpoint; If you are ready to make that decision of sterilization it shouldn't be questioned regardless of gender. It should be fully accepted to want to be childfree permanently and I fully understand the need to make every possible precaution.

thedavids06 avatar
Brivid
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think many women in the US could afford a medically unnecessary (insurance words, not mine) surgery. I know some people can, but it would be out of the question for many people. Even if they have insurance it won't be covered.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That may be true, but it is irrelevant to this post. This woman can obviously afford it or she wouldn't be asking for it.

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Ibn-e-Adam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some doctors take it a notch higher than their responsibility,making it about themselves. I have seen many comments where the women totally qualified for the option of sterilization and they should have been provided with the medical assistance they asked for. But kindly don't overlook the other side of the issue. Getting sterilized at an early age is like getting big, NSFW kinda tattoos, which many people regret later in life. Tattoos can be removed by new technology out there, ligated tubes can't be untied. So as a responsible person whom you have entrusted your life and body, should patiently and wisely try to council their patients, explaining to them all the perspectives and outcomes. They should try to get to the reason why one wants the procedure and often there are solid and genuine ones. They should give the patients some time to reflect on it, after they have discussed it extensively. And still if the patients want it. Then the assistance should be provided. There is no black and white answer to this request like yes and no. Instead there's a vast grey area and the doctor should be capable of helping patients navigate that area gently and calmly. Any personal opinion of the doctor should not be uttered or imposed. And even if the doctor prefers personal beliefs over Hippocratic Oath, they should refer the patient to one (doctor) whose judgement is not cloudy. Never ever there is obligation in medical ethics to handle each and every case that comes their way. Same goes (or went) for the abortions. In my country's laws (a third world country) it explicitly says if the doctor deems abortion not an option due to their personal views they should refer the patient to other doctor instead of pressurizing the patient and convincing them otherwise because the patient's rights of healthy and safe abortion must be upheld, whatever the reason maybe.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is totally a black and white question. If the woman is legally and adult she gets to choose. If she regrets it she can do IVF or adopt. But if you get pregnant unless you have abortion available there is no going back.

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Nona Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago

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Grown woman can not get sterilized - but your 7 year old can get puberty blockers.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
1 year ago

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I always try to play devil's advocate even with things I don't agree with. I get that maybe a doctor feels nervous about performing a procedure on someone if they're young and they feel the person may change their minds later and turn around and sue them. But just get it in writing. I also understand that some people don't get the ramifications of their decisions. For instance, having a hysterectomy has way more repercussions than just not having periods and not being able to get pregnant. So, okay, I get that. Refer them to someone else if you don't want to do it. I don't agree with it but at least I can understand the thinking. But the thing that INFURIATES me are the ones who expect you to ask your husband/boyfriend for permission. Like...WHAT??? Why TF do I need to ask a man for permission? Could you imagine if it were reversed? Could you imagine a guy asking his doctor for a ball removal because of possible cancer and they tell him he has to get his girlfriend's permission first?

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones asking for a hysterectomy are asking for health reasons, not contraception. Tubal ligation, or salpingectomy etc are done for contraceptive reasons as they are less invasive, day surgery and key hole surgery whilst a hysterectomy is major surgery. No one in their right mind would chose to go through that just for permanent contraception. They are usually ones suffering chronic pain, excessive periods, fibroids, endometriosis and other significant health issues.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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Just tell the doctors you're transgender and they'll slice out your reproductive organs right away! Whilst 30-year-olds can't get their tubes ties, sixteen-year-old girls can "consent" to hysterectomies if they say they're actually boys - magic!

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The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Yes, the doctor is correct. That’s an awfully permanent decision to make at 22. It’s one thing if you have health problems. I know a guy who has a vasectomy at 25 and tried to have it reversed at 30 after a divorce. Another woman I know was married for 20 years and they suddenly decided to have a baby at 40 despite being previously dedicated child free. This OP can’t imagine that she won’t change from the way she feels at 22 but she will. Maybe she’ll never want children, maybe she’ll change her mind but making irreversible decisions is a bad idea and the doctor is experienced enough to know that.

lemjohnson avatar
Lem Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew at 22. I'm 32 now and SHOCKER I still haven't changed my mind. She could join the army and get shot in the face but God forbid she make her own reproductive choices. Doctors have no right to police a woman's bodily autonomy like this. And if she regrets it? That's the choice she is making, and she's adult enough to be able to live with that choice. I'd rather never have kids and regret it, than have children and regret THEM. Do you know how hard it is being the child of a parent who didn't want you? In short, get your f*****g fat head out of other women's uteri and let them make their own damn choices, you sanctimonious piece of excrement.

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Jeanne d'Arc
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Some doctors take the Hippocratic oath seriously and can’t bring themselves to cut or destroy healthy tissue. Misogynists, obviously.

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Untethered Universe
Community Member
1 year ago

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Myeah. I'd like to offer a counterpoint. My sister's a gyneacologist. She says that 1/3 women asking and getting a sterilization procedure asks to undo it. Of the women under 30, half regret their decision... Docs don't say no just to annoy you. They say no because they know their stuff...

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not what the statistics say. The percentage of childless women who regret getting a sterilisation is very low. But even if it was 50% a woman has the right to get sterilised. Its none of the doctors bussiness.

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Miller Smith
Community Member
1 year ago

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Please understand the legal consequences for doctors. If a woman of child bearing age presents themselves for voluntary sterilization, no doctor will do it due to the fact that the courts will take a lawsuit from a sterilized woman and find the doctor liable due to the woman changing her mind later. The link for Google Scholar below will lead you through the minefield. There is one solution though...and the feminists are totally against it....just ask them. Pass state and federal laws that block legal action against doctors for this issue. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=20000006&q=sterilization+young+adults&btnG=

zora24_1 avatar
Trillian
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This makes me so mad. It took my sister almost 15 years with severe endo to find someone who would do a hysterectomy. I can't even stress how effed up and patronizing the argument "you might regret it later" is. 1) No one tells that to young men wanting a vasectomy 2) Yes I might regret it but I am an ADULT and I get to make my own mistakes if it turns out to be one and 3) I can get a facial tattoo with no questions asked and they are permanent and a lot of people will regret them at some point and while I am ranting 4) kids are permanent and some women regret having them so how is all this not valid??

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Also a hysterectomy for endometriosis is not done "because i dont want children" (even if she doesnt). Its done to treat a severe chronic illness. But apparently a hypothetical baby is more important than a womans health...

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The Other Guest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When a hypothetical man's hypothetical wishes are deemed more important than your personal decisions about your own body...

freyathewanderer_1 avatar
Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That so many OB/GYNs are such asshats burns me up! They regard women as brood cows. Meanwhile, a man wants a vasectomy, no problemo! We women are the ones who go through the nine months of hell called pregnancy, but only men are allowed control their reproductive capacity. Shame, shame, ten thousand times shame on those patronizing, condescending dips!

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sk_1988 avatar
JJ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I experienced the same at her age. I never wanted children. Additionally another specialist found out that hormonal contraception or a pregnancy will very likely kill me. Even that wasn't enough to get a sterilization. Luckily after a year I found a doctor about 500km from where I live who does sterilizations on women that age. I told him about my journey of denial by other doctors and he answered, "It's all BS. You're over 18, an adult and you can speak for yourself. The other medical conditions make it even more reasonable. If you want it, that's all that matters. And if you really change your mind, there's IVF, adoptions or fostering." It's now 9 years and I don't regret anything. PS: Mr Right was with me back then and still is, not wanting to have children either.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it mind-boggling that a doctor would rather risk a woman's life than her future relationships. As if every man on the planet wants children and is willing to risk killing his partner for it.

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andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the women here suffering from the sexism of doctors. There is a reddit called childfree that has a great list of doctors who are sterilisation friendly all over the world. Please check.

violet-marion-swanson avatar
Squirrel Girl
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

doctors like this always think we're going to wake up on our birthday and be like "me want baby!"

shopgirl012974 avatar
Alicia M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not just young, childless woman either. I had my tubes tied at age 40, after giving birth to my third child. I was married. We were done having kids. My third child was a surprise, and I didn't want to have to keep taking hormones the rest of my life. I was still asked, about a hundred times, if I was sure I wanted this, and had to switch hospitals because the original hospital I picked refused to do the procedure. It shouldn't be so difficult.

suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm curious if the original hospital was a Catholic-sponsored hospital. They run many big city hospitals but also a lot of small town & rural hospitals where they are the only hospital. They refuse to make the woman's life a priority over the baby's & they discourage or just won't do tubal ligations. I'll leave it up to men commenters as to whether they will do vasectomies. Ready a very sad story about one couple. The birth was difficult and he asked that the doctors focus on saving the wife as opposed to the baby. They refused. It was a Catholic hospital. Now he's raising a baby without his wife. It's just disgusting. I don't think you should be able to refuse to do legal procedures on people because of YOUR religion. If you can't handle it, go be a podiatrist. There needs to be a few big, fat lawsuits.

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pbwilson avatar
P B Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow!!! I had no idea! So much for women's rights. Not to mention individual rights to your own body.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I told the specialist that I'm adamant I didnt want anymore children and that if I ever fell pregnant, I WILL get an abortion. I made sure I gave them as many reasons as possible to not deny me having a salpingectomy (fallopian tube removal). Didn't take them long to make the decision after that. And yes, even after getting your tubes tied or removed, you can still fall pregnant with IVF if you ever change your mind. Not saying you will coz I know I certainly won't. In saying all this, we shouldn't have to jump through hoops or be told what we want or should do when it comes to our bodies.

valisbourne avatar
Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife tried for years to do this. Finally (yeah, it was slow to break through my thick head) I went in for a vasectomy. Damned doctor wanted not only my opinion on it, but hers too. My wife is pushing 50 now and I still suspect, if she asked, her doctor would try to push some BS agenda about her not having kids.

nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew at 12 I didn't want children. My reaction to "becoming a woman" was anger. I wanted nothing to do with it. I was told I would change my mind as I got older. I heard this c**p in my late teens, early 20s, mid and late 20s. Was told the clock is ticking and I could still change my mind in my early and mid 30s. By my late 30s it was "With medical advancements today, you can still carry a child to term safely." Hit my 40s, and the c**p still rolled in. By my mid-40s I have people telling me about the 67 year old in India who had a baby. Good for her. Not for me. And you would think menopause would shut down the discussion. No. Now, in my 50s, I get, "You could still adopt." Holy freaking Mother of G*d why don't people mind their own business?

heatherwatson avatar
Bittersweetie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief. Not even an informed argument from the doc. Tubal ligation is only considered sterilization because of it's effectiveness rate (99%) but it is by no means, always permanent -should one choose reversal which has pretty darn good odds. Exam room soapboxes aren't cool for something like this.

lavenderkismet avatar
Ribbon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sort of thing is literally why two of my friends are talking about maybe getting temporarily platonically married. Just so one of them can get a hysterectomy (*never* wants kids, has awful period pain, health issues, ect.). That way if/when she's met with the whole "well what about your husband", she can point to him and he'll back her up on the decision. While it's sweet they're willing to do that kind of thing for each other, it's so stupid that she needs a man's approval to do what she wants with *her* body.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They dont need to marry. Just have the guy pretend that its her husband.

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ttttt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women are often ignored by modern science. A man going in to get a vasectomy is never lectured to about wanting kids.

maureenmcdermott avatar
MMcD
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're lectured too. I read some of the comments below b/c my friend's husband was questioned. Their fourth was a lovely surprise (a girl after three boys), but they didn't want more suprises.

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kellid1202 avatar
Kelli
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. They did this to my sister, who was mid 30’s with two kids. Refused because she had two girls and thought she might later get a boy! So fricking infuriating!

zedrapazia avatar
Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you scream at them like the devil himself possessed your lungs they back down from talking that s**t. But it really shouldn't be necessary to rage like hell in order to be taken seriously.

kayrose avatar
RoanTheMad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been told this too. For f***s sake I AM MARRIED TO A WOMAN AND HAVE AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER.

s-shane-shelton avatar
Shane S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honest question and absolutely no disrespect, but why would you need a tubal ligation if you don’t have intercourse with men? Again, no disrespect at all. Learning opportunity.

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dan_31 avatar
That'sEndorable
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Presenting an IUD as if it were a 100% effective alternative is just plain bad medicine. The 99% success rate is a success rate per year, not over a lifetime. So if you're fertile for 25 years (say, 15 to 40), there's a 1-in-4 chance you'll be faced with having to choose between giving birth to an unwanted child and ... not giving birth to an unwanted child. This is much better than condoms, which have a 98% effectiveness rate, presuming you use them correctly (have you ever read the directions??!!!) and consistently. Let's say you have sex while ovulating an average of once a month... At those odds, you'll likely have an unwanted pregnancy within 4 years! Allowing women to get their tubes tied is pro-life.

lavenderkismet avatar
Ribbon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus IUDs mildly raise the risk of ectopic pregnancy, something that's not only incredibly traumatic on both a physical and mental level, but can be life-threatening. (Here's the source I used to verify this: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12317373/ ). While IUDs definitely are a good fit for some people, recklessly treating an IUD like some kind of "cure all" is not good practice. As things are now in the medical system, we are being set up to fail. And for what?

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juniorcj82 avatar
JuniorCJ82
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say, "Okay, I'm going to need your home address so I can drop off the newborn when I'm forced to have it."

tobyshad avatar
Laura Edwards
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is normal for now. I had a hysterectomy at 36. Doc says no you'll regret it. I ended up having ovarian cancer and no, I do not regret it.

gargarita-mica-08 avatar
Boreddd🇺🇦
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's just kinda sad. Like, these idiots buried in their illusion that all women want kids, trying to force their opinions on other people. Like STFU AND DO YOUR JOB. It's not your problem if I'll ever decide: "Oh wait, I actually want kids". I can f*****g adopt.

s-shane-shelton avatar
Shane S
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother had her tubes tied when she got pregnant with me. Regardless, the planet is over-populated and dying. We should be working towards any solution that keeps more people from being born.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. The people who insist that it's "God’s plan" that everyone reproduce haven't been paying attention to what we are doing to the planet. 8 billion is too many people!

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dremosley avatar
Dre Mosley
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile, a 22 year-old guy can schedule a vasectomy today and have it done next week without anyone questioning it. No one is gonna tell him about how he might meet "Ms. Right" and want kids with her. Yes, I know vasectomies can be reversed, but still. . .

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously it is because a womans opinion and desires are less important than a mans. Our feeble female brain cannot make this decisions. /s

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rosiemcleod avatar
AnyOtherName
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in the UK, my family member asked to be sterilised but they refused. She's had a still born baby, then a healthy daughter then twin boys. She's definitely done and knows she doesn't want anymore. They agreed to sterilise her husband though. I don't get it

contact_213 avatar
APL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weeeeell, from the NHS's point of view, a vasectomy is a damn sight quicker, cheaper and safer than tubal ligation. And the same if the couple ever wants it reversed. If the couple is strong enough to survive a stillbirth then sterilising the husband is as good as sterilising the wife.

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idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I see this all the time in the CF sub on reddit. Women being denied the procedure, while an 18 y/o guy can go in and get the snip no problem. It's infuriating. I'm so tired of women still being treated as second class citizens in 2022. We're actually losing our rights and moving backwards in the progress we've made.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We are. We are seen only as walking uteruses with no other value. We were making progress but the last devade we have gone backwards. Gender (= pretending that women and men are different) is more important than in decades. Like the gender reveal parties.

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rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, a woman should have the choice to get this done, regardless of their reasons. But it really burns me up to read the comments here by people who already had children, and those with legitimate medical issues that were still denied. I chose not to have children myself because of mental health issues and being on a lot of medication. I never sought to get my tubes tied but I bet I would have been denied even though that was a perfectly valid reason and I feel a very responsible choice. But, regardless, women shouldn't be bullied into having children just because society expects them to. Our planet is overpopulated so there is literally no need for everyone to reproduce, and there are too many unwanted children already.

sidda7 avatar
No Diggity
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never wanted kids, I tried at 27 and was denied and told I prob couldn't have kids anyway because of scare tissue from a surgery. Literally the one and only time hubs and I didn't use protection I got pregnant. I ended up having to quite grad school, ruining my education and career. THEN I had cancer at 37 and could no longer take hormonal birth control, and was still denied. My husband made one doc apt and got a vasectomy no questions asked. It's absolute BS.

modina85 avatar
Modina Montefort
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never wanted kids. I was 24 when I asked my gyno for a tubal. She said no, you'll change your mind (I didn't). She said, come back when you're 25. I waited until I was 28. She said, are you sure? YES! I'M SURE! So, at 28, I got my tubes tied. As I'm laying on the gurney to go into surgery, I see the doctor and I called her over. She came over and the first words out of her mouth were, Have you changed your mind!? I told her, Hell no! You do whatever you have to do to make this permanent. You cut, tie, burn, remove -- WHATEVER you have to do to make this PERMANENT! Because, if I EVER get pregnant, I am gonna hunt you down, and hurt you bad! She removed an extra centimeter of tubes. My dad, at the time I had it done, was worried that I'd change my mind. Later, he told me, if your mother and I knew then what we know now, your brother and you would not be here. Even later he told me that not having kids was the smartest thing I ever did. I have NEVER regretted it. I'm 65 now.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just bizarre and sick in so many ways. But just as an FYI there are different types of contraceptives, not all make periods worse. (But if you don't want kids tying your tubes seems like the best way.) I have one in my arm that takes them away completely and it has improved my life tremendously. Of course I now pee out hormones that are bad for fish and other water life so that sucks but not having periods is just such a relief. Of course my symptoms were ignored and dismissed for years until someone finally took me seriously and didn't tell me to just suck it up, but that's a different story.

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone responds differently to the implanon. Some don't get periods, some irregular and some constant bleeding.

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pipekasuko avatar
Pipe Kasuko
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so beyond ludicrous, almost feels like a the Twilight Zone skit.

mr-garyscott avatar
El Dee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is her absolute right to make her own decisions. Should the doctor counsel her to ensure she understands the consequences and to assure herself (the doc) that the patient won't regret it? Yes, seems reasonable. This woman obviously DOES understand and should be getting the procedure. Women making decisions about their own bodies is policed in a way that men aren't..

giustizia avatar
Jus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me furious. I don't want children, never wanted them in 38 years of my life. If I say no, I want to be respected. It's not my obligation to have them.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate somewhat. I’ve suffered PCOS & had undiagnosed endometriosis for years, until more recently (& I’m on heavy-duty pain meds due to the regular agony). When I got the diagnosis, I pleaded with them to see about getting my troublesome ovaries out, especially since I’d never physically be able to have a child, let alone care for one. I also voiced my concerns that I’d be high risk for ovarian cancer, made much worse by the fact that I can’t endure any kind of pelvic exam/screening (with my pain sensitivity, they’d have to knock me out for that, but of course they don’t do that for such exams). Alas, my pleas fell on deaf ears & I was more or less told to “just deal with it”. I’ve had to resort to vaping, just to cope with the crippling pain, as they’ve even taken me off my Oxynorm to boot (they used Covid shortages as an excuse, but that was over a year ago & nothing has improved). Honestly, the whole system is just fudged to high hell. 😕🤷‍♀️

nicolafawcettgrenzner avatar
Nicola Fawcett Grenzner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 41 years old and I still don't want kids. I never changed my mind about it. It's so insulting that doctors deny us like this.

marcel_dizzi avatar
Marcel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We're overpopulating the earth as it is at this rate. If she doesn't want kids... sweet ?

reptilegirl30 avatar
Tacos Are Tasty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happens a lot, sadly. Many doctors just don't listen to their patients, especially women patients.

kristypuffer avatar
Kristy P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same happened to me in my mid 30's. I'm 45 and still on the pill. I just switched doctors.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I said this before: I considered having my tubes tied when I lived in the UK. I've known for almost 20 years that I don't ever want children, and I've been living with a great, stable partner with the same mindset for years now. I'm also over 40 so if I don't know my own mind by now I never will. I asked the nurse the next time I went in for my regular contraceptives if it was a good option for me to have my tubes tied. She showed ZERO judgement, did NOT ask a hundred times if I was sure and most certainly did NOT ask if I was even in a relationship, much less what my partner if I had one thought about this. She heard that I said I didn't want children and took it as a fact. From then on the discussion was about my health, medical consequences, pros and cons. If I'd wanted the procedure she would've scheduled it as soon as possible. No repeat consultation, psych exam, permission from anyone etc., just my yes or no. I was grateful for the professionalism.

leas_ avatar
Lea S.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why these doctors aren't immediately fined, charged, or punished in some way.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because in the US our laws are not set up for that. I suppose someone could try a lawsuit to see if that would work. But generally physicians have a great deal of leeway when it comes to deciding what procedures they will perform, especially if it is considered non-medically necessary. Edit: I am not sure why I was downvoted, but to be clear I was NOT saying that I myself considered this surgery unnecessary. Only explaining how things work here. If I got something information wrong, then please by all means correct me. But a downvote does not tell me anything.

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suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if they can force you to risk pregnancy & force you to keep it, they can keep their foot on your neck.

nimabhavansikar avatar
RandomPanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people are just... I don't even have words to describe this doctor. people who do things like this make me lose my faith in humanity.

contact_213 avatar
APL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good job this doctor became a gynaecologist instead of an oncologist. "No, we won't remove the cancerous bowel because that's permanent. Maybe you'll go into spontaneous remission."

samanthamelnychuk avatar
Samantha Melnychuk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family has a ton of stuff that I wouldn't want to pass on to an unsuspecting person genetically, let alone the fact that I'm on meds I couldn't stop that are contraindicated during pregnancy for severe medical conditions, and my doctor didn't want me to have a hysterectomy for my severe periods because I might change my mind later. I told her that adoption and fostering are also options later on in life and are completely valid. What if you get divorced and your new husband wants his own kid? I wouldn't marry someone who didn't have parental ideologies that aligned with mine. Why don't you try having a baby? It might get rid of disease X or at least improve it. Are you willing to take the kid and raise it if it makes disease X worse? Because I sure as hell won't be able to, nor will I be willing to financially support it once disease X gets much worse. Doctor '.... No...' can you refer me to this gynecologist if you won't help me out then please? Ok...

hmcastilloest2014 avatar
Moezzzz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to beg for it too. After my 2nd healthy son, while he was in there (it was a c section), the OBGYN still kept saying "are you sure? Your tubes look so beautiful!!" (Weird, yeah, but I worked with him at that same hospital). I told him if he doesn't cut me, the next child will be paid for by HIM!! I was 25 at the time and fought like hell to make sure it was done.

bryleegalloway avatar
RandomFrog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok so I think of this like a tattoo. Like yeah maybe don’t do it as soon as you legally can, but c’mon? Like if someone is in their twenties that’s old enough to decide and I think you should give the operation. If that same person walked into a tattoo shop they would get a tattoo. They’re both permanent!

joann-f avatar
Jo Firth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Felt the same at 22 and guess what? Still feel the same at 64. Had a hysterectomy at 39 for medical reasons. What shocks me most about this is that a WOMAN is giving advice about waiting for the right man ... OMG!!

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm actually glad I have fibroids so large they necessitate a hysterectomy, because I can't imagine the hell I'd have to go through otherwise. And Thank God my GYN just believed me and didn't argue when I said I didn't want kids.

yvonnedauwalderbalsiger avatar
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always knew I wanted 2 kids and I now have 2. No one ever questioned that and no one ever said, but what about your future man? It makes me angry af that other women are not respected for their choice. But society still has so deeply ingrained expectations of women to behave in a certain way (don't be lazy, but also don't be too ambitious or assertive, do look pretty, attract man and then breed), it's insane. When I say I am bisexual, no one so far has ever questioned my attraction to men either, the apparent "default".

pferryman avatar
Pat Ferryman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my 3rd was born they said do t have anymore one of you won’t survive. I wanted my tubes done they said I need 3 dr to say it had to be done, a psychiatrist had to say I understood, my husband had to say it was ok so at 22 no dice. 3 months later my ovary ruptured Fromm a cycist I ended up with a partial hysterectomy. Men have controlled our. Bodies since Time began I don’t know about you but I’m tired of it

donnamok avatar
Donna Cheung
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was pregnant with #2, I asked the doctor, if I happen to need a C-section, can my tubes be tied at the same time? They said "you have a happy marriage now and don't want any kids, but you don't know about the future", so they said no. Anyway, I didn't have a C-section in the end so no tubes tied, but...

clairelise avatar
clairelise@pacific.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't even want a tubal ligation; (I am not sexually active and don't plan to be in the foreseeable future) I just wanted to stop having my period because it's extremely painful and an impediment to my daily life for 5 days out of the month. So they prescribed me the pill, which puffed me up like a balloon with gas and bloating, gave me headaches and nausea, and made me think about Making a Plan (I think that's called suicidal ideation?) So I took myself off of it, which I was reprimanded for, and then seen by a nurse who told me "well, you just have to decide which you want less: that or a baby." Then he looked at my chart and was like "Ope--- but it looks like you're not taking it for birth control anyway, so you don't need it"

uqcinrexvbrqazicdj avatar
MikeWheelerFan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m 13 and already want my tubes tied. It sucks how hard it is to get them tied.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With luck by the time that you are older it will have improved a bit :)

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norsepaw avatar
Sivi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were mot pricey would removed mine, but I am happy I got a birthcontroll thats stops my monthly bleeding and pain. One day I will have it removed, got not the greatest mental health and epilepsy as a bonus so no point getting 2nd gen from my end. Brother got our family covered with 3 rascals annyways :D

commiepinkofag avatar
commie pinkofag
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Physical autonomy - absolute, personal control over one's own body - is the core human right, without which all others are meaningless. That said, like any citizens of any self-styled democracy, Americans always deserve the legal system we have: the worst we're willing to tolerate. You get what you put up with.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dont make this about yourncountry. This is a global problem.

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jenniferslavin avatar
Jen Slavin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an ovary burst and I was in my late 30's they only remove the burst one and wouldn't do a complete hysterectomy, I still have issues medical issue with the one they left in and still can't get the damn thing out because I haven't had any kids. Well you may change your mind, really im now late 40's. This drives me crazy, its my body and my health.

mona_1 avatar
Mona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously... this world is about 2 steps away from Handmaid's tale...

wallicktn avatar
Tracy Wallick
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was made to sit through a whole presentation of alternative options before military medical would consider sterilizing me; they got to me, I tried to get an IUD, and it was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life (and I've broken bones before).

suzi63 avatar
Sue
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why someone, at least in sue-friendly USA, hasn't brought a lawsuit yet.

kimberlybailey avatar
KimB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't sue because they refuse to operate. It's not life threatening and they can always argue medical necessity.

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skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It makes me think that doctors are getting trained to resist sterilization procedures except in a very narrow set of circumstances, either by the medical community or possibly by the insurance/liability community. The unexpressed thought that follows "what if you change your mind...." is "...and sue me?" When I got my vasectomy, my wife had to agree to it, too, even though they were MY nuts (arguably).

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think that signing the paperwork giving informed consent would take care of the problem of possible lawsuits. I am more inclined to believe that the issue is cultural, and not part of the doctor's training.

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marshabrown avatar
Marsha Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Way back in the early 1950s, I remember my mom getting furious on behalf of our neighbor. "Josie" had two kids, and wanted her tubes tied. I was too young to know if it was after her second, or if she had a Caesarean, or what. The doctor refused because *he* was Catholic! She was nominally a Catholic, her husband was not, but this was something that they both wanted. This was long before "the Pill," and even IUDs weren't that common. My mother fumed about it for years, among other reasons, "Who the h**l is he to decide for you?! You're an adult!. It's your body, your choice." Again, that was long before that became a theme in the abortion fight. Mom is turning over in her grave about Roe v Wade being tossed out, and I can practically hear her spitting anger from here, 12 years after she died, still supporting every liberal cause and women's rights at the age of 87.

joanna_hellsing avatar
Joanna Stasiołek
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate the "you will change your mind" stuff. F**k off, I decided when I was very young and I won't change my mind. I want to decide about my body and not have to battle for years. I want to have freedom of making choice what is best for me. I hate that I'm atheist but religion is still making decisions about me.

congobeat avatar
Cammy Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So now, not only can we not choose to NOT have kids, if we get pregnant, we are now forced to have them!

wonderful3382 avatar
Wonderful
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had medical issues and surgeries since I started my period on my uterus and ovaries and all in between. Even with all my medical issues and pleading they wouldn't give me a hysterectomy. Finally after my 7th surgery to remove fibroids and cysts they finally said ok and gave me a hysterectomy at 22. I'm 40 now and still happy I don't have kids. They kept saying I would change my mind and yada yada. I said if I did then I will adopt. So many refusals til one dr finally said yes. I had a full hysterectomy so I take hormone meds daily. Worth it 100%

melanieking avatar
Daffodil
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother had hormone irregularities that caused her to have migraines every month during her period and during ovulation. By migraines I mean they were so bad she was bedridden for a few days every time. They tried medicine and stuff, basically all that was left was for her to get a hysterectomy and even though she was married with 3 kids she had to fight to be able to get one. It's such b******t.

juliet_bravo avatar
Jill Bussey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanted a hysterectomy for medical reasons at 42. I had two children. It took a lot of persuasion for the doctor to agree to put me forward. I went private in the end. I can't imagine how you felt about your struggles.

katlia avatar
kat lia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i read something like before, a lady wanted to sue her doctor because she asked her to sterilize her because she doesn't want kids and the doctor did it (probably she was on her early 20's back then, forgot which country it is) . 10 yrs after she realized that she want kids. and the argument was the doctor should have refer her to therapist first just to make sure if she really wants to do it because we change our mind everyday. especially when you are younger.

adclendenning avatar
Rukkia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This bothers me so much. I was 28, had two kids, and needed a hysterectomy because I could barely walk anymore due to scar tissue connecting my uterus, cervix and bladder together to my abdominal wall. Still had to have my husbands permission to get it done. This is not healthcare.

moyamcbride avatar
MoMcB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex husband wouldn't sign for me to have a hysterectomy even though it was severely impacting my health. I was 49. He's gone and so is my womb!

veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People do things with permanent effects all the time and even if their change their mind - live with that decision. I don't see why this would be any different. Plus now with the risk of not even having the choice of abortion I absolutely understand. In a stable relationship (otherwise a condom should always be used even if you are sterile) a vasectomy is a better option for birth control as it is a more gentle procedure though...(and I don't agree with surrogacy as an option if you do change your mind - that's often used to exploit and put the risk of pregnancy and childbirth on someone else. If you want a sterilization you shouldn't see surrogacy as an option later on - but that's a detail and another debate.) So, as a final standpoint; If you are ready to make that decision of sterilization it shouldn't be questioned regardless of gender. It should be fully accepted to want to be childfree permanently and I fully understand the need to make every possible precaution.

thedavids06 avatar
Brivid
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think many women in the US could afford a medically unnecessary (insurance words, not mine) surgery. I know some people can, but it would be out of the question for many people. Even if they have insurance it won't be covered.

rogersmary523 avatar
Mary Rogers
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That may be true, but it is irrelevant to this post. This woman can obviously afford it or she wouldn't be asking for it.

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ichlugner avatar
Ibn-e-Adam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some doctors take it a notch higher than their responsibility,making it about themselves. I have seen many comments where the women totally qualified for the option of sterilization and they should have been provided with the medical assistance they asked for. But kindly don't overlook the other side of the issue. Getting sterilized at an early age is like getting big, NSFW kinda tattoos, which many people regret later in life. Tattoos can be removed by new technology out there, ligated tubes can't be untied. So as a responsible person whom you have entrusted your life and body, should patiently and wisely try to council their patients, explaining to them all the perspectives and outcomes. They should try to get to the reason why one wants the procedure and often there are solid and genuine ones. They should give the patients some time to reflect on it, after they have discussed it extensively. And still if the patients want it. Then the assistance should be provided. There is no black and white answer to this request like yes and no. Instead there's a vast grey area and the doctor should be capable of helping patients navigate that area gently and calmly. Any personal opinion of the doctor should not be uttered or imposed. And even if the doctor prefers personal beliefs over Hippocratic Oath, they should refer the patient to one (doctor) whose judgement is not cloudy. Never ever there is obligation in medical ethics to handle each and every case that comes their way. Same goes (or went) for the abortions. In my country's laws (a third world country) it explicitly says if the doctor deems abortion not an option due to their personal views they should refer the patient to other doctor instead of pressurizing the patient and convincing them otherwise because the patient's rights of healthy and safe abortion must be upheld, whatever the reason maybe.

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is totally a black and white question. If the woman is legally and adult she gets to choose. If she regrets it she can do IVF or adopt. But if you get pregnant unless you have abortion available there is no going back.

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Nona Wolf
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1 year ago

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Grown woman can not get sterilized - but your 7 year old can get puberty blockers.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
1 year ago

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I always try to play devil's advocate even with things I don't agree with. I get that maybe a doctor feels nervous about performing a procedure on someone if they're young and they feel the person may change their minds later and turn around and sue them. But just get it in writing. I also understand that some people don't get the ramifications of their decisions. For instance, having a hysterectomy has way more repercussions than just not having periods and not being able to get pregnant. So, okay, I get that. Refer them to someone else if you don't want to do it. I don't agree with it but at least I can understand the thinking. But the thing that INFURIATES me are the ones who expect you to ask your husband/boyfriend for permission. Like...WHAT??? Why TF do I need to ask a man for permission? Could you imagine if it were reversed? Could you imagine a guy asking his doctor for a ball removal because of possible cancer and they tell him he has to get his girlfriend's permission first?

james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The ones asking for a hysterectomy are asking for health reasons, not contraception. Tubal ligation, or salpingectomy etc are done for contraceptive reasons as they are less invasive, day surgery and key hole surgery whilst a hysterectomy is major surgery. No one in their right mind would chose to go through that just for permanent contraception. They are usually ones suffering chronic pain, excessive periods, fibroids, endometriosis and other significant health issues.

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Istax
Community Member
1 year ago

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Just tell the doctors you're transgender and they'll slice out your reproductive organs right away! Whilst 30-year-olds can't get their tubes ties, sixteen-year-old girls can "consent" to hysterectomies if they say they're actually boys - magic!

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The Starsong Princess
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Yes, the doctor is correct. That’s an awfully permanent decision to make at 22. It’s one thing if you have health problems. I know a guy who has a vasectomy at 25 and tried to have it reversed at 30 after a divorce. Another woman I know was married for 20 years and they suddenly decided to have a baby at 40 despite being previously dedicated child free. This OP can’t imagine that she won’t change from the way she feels at 22 but she will. Maybe she’ll never want children, maybe she’ll change her mind but making irreversible decisions is a bad idea and the doctor is experienced enough to know that.

lemjohnson avatar
Lem Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew at 22. I'm 32 now and SHOCKER I still haven't changed my mind. She could join the army and get shot in the face but God forbid she make her own reproductive choices. Doctors have no right to police a woman's bodily autonomy like this. And if she regrets it? That's the choice she is making, and she's adult enough to be able to live with that choice. I'd rather never have kids and regret it, than have children and regret THEM. Do you know how hard it is being the child of a parent who didn't want you? In short, get your f*****g fat head out of other women's uteri and let them make their own damn choices, you sanctimonious piece of excrement.

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Jeanne d'Arc
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

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Some doctors take the Hippocratic oath seriously and can’t bring themselves to cut or destroy healthy tissue. Misogynists, obviously.

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Untethered Universe
Community Member
1 year ago

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Myeah. I'd like to offer a counterpoint. My sister's a gyneacologist. She says that 1/3 women asking and getting a sterilization procedure asks to undo it. Of the women under 30, half regret their decision... Docs don't say no just to annoy you. They say no because they know their stuff...

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not what the statistics say. The percentage of childless women who regret getting a sterilisation is very low. But even if it was 50% a woman has the right to get sterilised. Its none of the doctors bussiness.

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Miller Smith
Community Member
1 year ago

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Please understand the legal consequences for doctors. If a woman of child bearing age presents themselves for voluntary sterilization, no doctor will do it due to the fact that the courts will take a lawsuit from a sterilized woman and find the doctor liable due to the woman changing her mind later. The link for Google Scholar below will lead you through the minefield. There is one solution though...and the feminists are totally against it....just ask them. Pass state and federal laws that block legal action against doctors for this issue. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=20000006&q=sterilization+young+adults&btnG=

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