Woman Has To Deal With Her Friend’s Attitude During A Trip She Suggested But Came On With No Money
Going on a vacation abroad with a friend is a perfect way to bond and an opportunity to create fond memories while getting to know a new country. A trip a little bit further away from home is always an adventure, so why not go for it, as after working hard, it is nice to reward yourself.
Even though you work hard, before going, you should make sure that the trip is within your budget. It can get awkward when one of the people can’t afford anything and it can make the whole voyage pretty miserable, as it happened to Dancingmoonlight. She got invited to go to Berlin, but kind of regretted going since the friend kept asking her for money.
More info: Mumsnet
Woman thought she was going on a fun trip abroad with a friend but it turned sour when she had to pay for almost everything
Image credits: Alvaro Galve (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) is in her 30s and lives in the UK. She had quite a friendly relationship with a coworker she doesn’t work with anymore, but since then they started spending more time together. The coworker was always nice to her and they started going for cocktails and to similar outings.
The friend decided to go on a weekend trip to Berlin and asked the OP if she would be interested. She was, but as soon as they were at the airport, the OP noticed something strange.
Turns out, the friend took barely any money with her. At the airport, she had €60 and £7 ($73 in total) for a four-day trip where no food was included with the room they were staying in.
And it’s not that the friend wasn’t earning enough, but more so that she was quite irresponsible with her money, as right before the trip, she was spending money left and right. She had so little money that she wouldn’t even buy coffee at the airport and the OP had to spend her own money on both of them.
The OP become friends with a former colleague who invited her to go on a weekend trip to Berlin
Image credits: Dancingmoonlight
At the time of writing the story, the two friends were already in Berlin and on top of not having money, the friend was also angry. Mainly because the OP wanted to go to various shops as you do as a tourist and the ex-coworker was just unhappy about it because she couldn’t buy anything.
The OP gave more information about their trip in the comments. When she found out that her friend didn’t have money, she offered to pay for cheap meals, but refused to buy any souvenirs for her.
She also mentioned that it was supposed to be a cheap vacation. She herself took €280 ($300) that she had been saving for the four-day trip and they both weren’t planning on going to expensive restaurants or spending money on designer goods. The OP also suggested free activities they could do, but the friend promised to pay back the money instead.
The issue was that the friend turned up with practically no money and it was supposed to be a four-day trip
Image credits: Dancingmoonlight
The OP was paying for all their meals and was getting hints to give the friend money for souvenirs
Image credits: Dancingmoonlight
The OP updated on the situation when they came back home and it turns out, she spent €110 on her friend who promised to return the money, but the woman was doubtful that she would be getting it back. She messaged the former colleague a couple of times and after a few days, she finally got €30. Since then the friend has been unresponsive.
While still in Berlin, the OP let out her frustrations to the internet and was considering cutting ties with this person because she felt used, the attitude the friend gave her was exhausting to deal with, and the financial strain made the trip far less enjoyable. It seems the friend had the same opinion.
On top of that, the friend was angry all the time because going into various shops just reminded her she couldn’t afford anything
Image credits: Dancingmoonlight
In the end, the OP spent over a third of her budget on her friend who didn’t even bother to give it back after the trip
Image credits: Miguel Discart (not the actual photo)
People who read the story immediately felt suspicious of the friend and had a hunch she was one of those people who takes money but doesn’t give it back. They were also convinced that it might happen again so the OP should definitely be strict with her friend and set clear boundaries about money or just end the friendship altogether.
Would you have acted differently in this situation? Do you think the friend is just financially irresponsible or was all of this planned? Let us know your reactions in the comments!
People in the comments were immediately suspicious of the friend and were concerned she was using the OP
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Two things I've learned in life: be very careful about who you live with and who you vacation with. Some people who are good friends might not be the best person to live or vacation with.
That's a tough lesson. I got off very, very easy as a student. A colleague at the school paper invited me out for coffee. He had no money. If I was paying for his company, I suppose I got my money's worth. 😉
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As soon as she would have told me how much she had, I would be like 'see ya then'. I would have just had my own trip and left her to her own devices. She obviously does this a lot and relies on others to bail her out. Nobody would bring so little money to a foreign city unless she has done this before. The only way she will learn it's unacceptable is if people are strong and tell her she's on her own. No way would I have spent a single penny on someone that stupid enough to bring so little money abroad. Just so arrogant and entitled because she expects others to pay for her and she thinks it will all be okay.
This is why I prefer to travel solo, or have an understanding that we will share "x" sites or events together and that's all.
I actually do that as well or with my mom unless she's over- moming me.
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Well, this happened twice to me. Once with another guy and two girls in my cousin's apartment in Paris for a week, but we needed some money for meals and going out and gas for getting back to Germany, and one of these girls spent ALL HER MONEY for clothes! Another time, I was going to holidays with a friend. We drove with my car from Berlin to Nice. And as he had pretty nothing, so I, as a student, had to pay for everything. I never got back those 700 or 800 DMs (today about 350 to 400 Euros).
Stop the friendship now. She is a user and this situation will keep happening. She is not a friend or being friendly. Anyways, she could've cancelled the trip if she was low on funds. If i were you, and she turned up to the airport with so little cash for a trip she planned, i would've cancelled and taken credit for your ticket for future use. Not worth the hassle to " keep" a friend that just wanted to use you as a purse!
Something I have learnt. You don't really know someone until you travelled with them. You might know them for a long time, spend a lot of time together, but until you travelled together and literally spent 24-7 together, you never can know how they are like.
I had to have my friend pay for everything during the last few days of trip abroad as my effing card wouldn't work all of a sudden and the bank was giving me the run around, and I paid it back the second we came back home! I suppose that's the difference between travelling with a good friend and an acquaintance
I had my ATM card denied abroad because I didn't tell Security that I was going to another country. I had other cards with me , so no real problem. Then, when I planned to use my new AMEX card, I let security know I was going abroad. They were puzzled as to why I thought I had to let them know.
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Enjoy your trip and when you get back home drop her like a fly. She had planned to use you before the plane took off.
The friend is irresponsible with her money-that's her problem, not yours. She will not pay you back any more than what she reluctantly all-ready gave you. Cut your losses & don't go on any more dates with her. I don't get how some ppl don't feel at all bad any using others with no intention to repay.
Friends aren't always the best travel buddy. Few years ago, I went to an oversea trip with some friends. I have never know this particular 2 persons can be so picky on food, so calculative on the day tours, and even disrespect the timing of tour by being late etc. Never again will I want to go a trip with them.
That's where my RBF comes in handy. I help people if they ask or something but most just don't dare to approach me 🙂 the op should save up all the receipts and make the friend like sign them or something to make her pay them back (for the stuff that op already bought her and im not talking about coffee money)
The friend definitely should have known better if she's been on other trips. I'll admit, my first trip out of the states ended up costing more than I expected it too and I had to borrow from others on the trip (mostly I underestimated how much I would be able to use my card at the places we went) But I also got everyone's address and mailed them back the amount I had borrowed with a thank you note after the trip (it wasn't nearly as much as this lady though).
Cut her off as a friend. You don't need her in your life. She's purely a negative influence. People that always take but never contribute are just as bad as people that always talk down to you, they're negative influences in your life. Get that negativity out of your life. Your life will be better in the long run.
I'd have given that user friend enough money to buy a loaf of bread and lunch meat so she can make herself sandwiches for the rest of the trip. And spend only half days with her. If she hasn't learned responsibility at this age, then she needs to learn the hard way. Don't rescue her out of the consequences. Reassess your friendship with her cuz she's the kind of person who's only there when you have money and things are going good. A true friend is there for you when you are poor and things aren't going well in times of need.
You're going on a 4-day vacation with somebody you've known for 6 months? Am I missing something here??
Discussing a vacation budget with friends before a trip is planned is super important. I've had too many friends that were planning to spend about half of what the rest of us were bringing. I'm not going on vacation if I can only afford fast food and cheap drinks from the grocery store. Some people just don't understand how to save enough for trips.
I've had this type of thing happen to me a few times with weekend road trips to Vegas and Big Bear. One friend kept inviting himself on our trips and he never had enough money for dinner, drinks, and fun. We all made sure he never found out about any future trips. This happened when we were 21 to 25 years old.
I wouldn't have given her a cent. She's a user. I had a friend like that; she was fine but then suddenly turned into a jerk like that.
If y’all are in separate rooms, leave her behind for everything-no meals, no sightseeing, and definitely no shopping. If sharing a room, go home. You have no idea what she’d do with your belongings while you’re out. Save your nerves & cut your losses and warn others when you get back home. She knows what she did was wrong & that’s why she’s avoiding you and not even attempting to pay you back. She’s a POS and lucky you hadn’t taken legal action against her. Take out an ad in the paper to warn people about her. It’s not libel/slander when it’s true……
Sorry but OP is a fool for not giving the 'friend' cab fare home right after they had coffee at the airport.
If you are low on money, That's what debit cards and credit cards are for
The relationship is done. The "friend" is an opportunist piece of trash!
Why would this broad suggest this trip, invite this girl, then show up with no money to cover her expenses, expecting the friend to pay for e everything?? What a frickin dipshit! And on top of that, angry and refusing to pay her back? I would DUMP that b***h and then sue her. I'd like to hear Judge Judy rip her a new a*s!
Yep, this happened to me once. A weekend trip which was the idea of friend X. Nothing fancy, but we did want to eat well and check nice museums. Red flags started from the planning: friend X complained about flight ticket price (actually quite cheap), museum price, everything. She mentioned she was used to people (men) paying for her stuff, so this was the first time she actually had to pay (oh oh). She had no idea that many things had a price. I made it clear with her of the budget we had. Well, she expected us to survive with kebabs the whole weekend, got mad everytime we got into restaurants. She ran out of money but wanted us to go to party and pay for her drinks. No way. Even set up tinder so she could find a dude to pay for her. I learned my lesson: travel with a person with same budget and interests.
I would have taken her to an ATM, Berlin is covert with them. And demand from her that she at least takes out € 200,- of which you should get at least some. You don't have to live of cash only.
Why u still need to ask? If it bothered you, talk to her. Go without her for city trip
You don't owe her a GD thing. Ditch her and go off on your own. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
Sounds like they just had different expectations for the trip. One thought "we'll do a budget tour and lots of sightseeing" and the other thought "we'll go and live it up a bit". So it's understandable that they are getting on each other's nerves. They just need to talk it out & meet in the middle.
Only a woman could be so entitled. She was mommy & daddy's princess, now she expects the same treatment from everyone else.
HA! I have met plenty of boys that were just as entitled as ANY female could be. Oh, and by boys I mean male figures over the adult age of 18 but not entitled to the term "man".
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300€ for 4 days in berlin??? I've lived here for 10 years and that is a lot of money to spend here even if you eat twice a day and go to bars.
It costs more to be a tourist compared to living there. No matter where you go. When you know your city you know just where to shop, eat etc. You don't know that as a visitor so it could cost you. Also, as a tourist you might want to explore a bit and go to museums/attractions/etc. Buy some souvenirs type of things etc that you don't do when you are permanently living there. I think it seems like a pretty reasonable budget for Berlin as a tourist if you want to explore without thinking too much on your budget.
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Two things I've learned in life: be very careful about who you live with and who you vacation with. Some people who are good friends might not be the best person to live or vacation with.
That's a tough lesson. I got off very, very easy as a student. A colleague at the school paper invited me out for coffee. He had no money. If I was paying for his company, I suppose I got my money's worth. 😉
Load More Replies... As soon as she would have told me how much she had, I would be like 'see ya then'. I would have just had my own trip and left her to her own devices. She obviously does this a lot and relies on others to bail her out. Nobody would bring so little money to a foreign city unless she has done this before. The only way she will learn it's unacceptable is if people are strong and tell her she's on her own. No way would I have spent a single penny on someone that stupid enough to bring so little money abroad. Just so arrogant and entitled because she expects others to pay for her and she thinks it will all be okay.
This is why I prefer to travel solo, or have an understanding that we will share "x" sites or events together and that's all.
I actually do that as well or with my mom unless she's over- moming me.
Load More Replies... Well, this happened twice to me. Once with another guy and two girls in my cousin's apartment in Paris for a week, but we needed some money for meals and going out and gas for getting back to Germany, and one of these girls spent ALL HER MONEY for clothes! Another time, I was going to holidays with a friend. We drove with my car from Berlin to Nice. And as he had pretty nothing, so I, as a student, had to pay for everything. I never got back those 700 or 800 DMs (today about 350 to 400 Euros).
Stop the friendship now. She is a user and this situation will keep happening. She is not a friend or being friendly. Anyways, she could've cancelled the trip if she was low on funds. If i were you, and she turned up to the airport with so little cash for a trip she planned, i would've cancelled and taken credit for your ticket for future use. Not worth the hassle to " keep" a friend that just wanted to use you as a purse!
Something I have learnt. You don't really know someone until you travelled with them. You might know them for a long time, spend a lot of time together, but until you travelled together and literally spent 24-7 together, you never can know how they are like.
I had to have my friend pay for everything during the last few days of trip abroad as my effing card wouldn't work all of a sudden and the bank was giving me the run around, and I paid it back the second we came back home! I suppose that's the difference between travelling with a good friend and an acquaintance
I had my ATM card denied abroad because I didn't tell Security that I was going to another country. I had other cards with me , so no real problem. Then, when I planned to use my new AMEX card, I let security know I was going abroad. They were puzzled as to why I thought I had to let them know.
Load More Replies... Enjoy your trip and when you get back home drop her like a fly. She had planned to use you before the plane took off.
The friend is irresponsible with her money-that's her problem, not yours. She will not pay you back any more than what she reluctantly all-ready gave you. Cut your losses & don't go on any more dates with her. I don't get how some ppl don't feel at all bad any using others with no intention to repay.
Friends aren't always the best travel buddy. Few years ago, I went to an oversea trip with some friends. I have never know this particular 2 persons can be so picky on food, so calculative on the day tours, and even disrespect the timing of tour by being late etc. Never again will I want to go a trip with them.
That's where my RBF comes in handy. I help people if they ask or something but most just don't dare to approach me 🙂 the op should save up all the receipts and make the friend like sign them or something to make her pay them back (for the stuff that op already bought her and im not talking about coffee money)
The friend definitely should have known better if she's been on other trips. I'll admit, my first trip out of the states ended up costing more than I expected it too and I had to borrow from others on the trip (mostly I underestimated how much I would be able to use my card at the places we went) But I also got everyone's address and mailed them back the amount I had borrowed with a thank you note after the trip (it wasn't nearly as much as this lady though).
Cut her off as a friend. You don't need her in your life. She's purely a negative influence. People that always take but never contribute are just as bad as people that always talk down to you, they're negative influences in your life. Get that negativity out of your life. Your life will be better in the long run.
I'd have given that user friend enough money to buy a loaf of bread and lunch meat so she can make herself sandwiches for the rest of the trip. And spend only half days with her. If she hasn't learned responsibility at this age, then she needs to learn the hard way. Don't rescue her out of the consequences. Reassess your friendship with her cuz she's the kind of person who's only there when you have money and things are going good. A true friend is there for you when you are poor and things aren't going well in times of need.
You're going on a 4-day vacation with somebody you've known for 6 months? Am I missing something here??
Discussing a vacation budget with friends before a trip is planned is super important. I've had too many friends that were planning to spend about half of what the rest of us were bringing. I'm not going on vacation if I can only afford fast food and cheap drinks from the grocery store. Some people just don't understand how to save enough for trips.
I've had this type of thing happen to me a few times with weekend road trips to Vegas and Big Bear. One friend kept inviting himself on our trips and he never had enough money for dinner, drinks, and fun. We all made sure he never found out about any future trips. This happened when we were 21 to 25 years old.
I wouldn't have given her a cent. She's a user. I had a friend like that; she was fine but then suddenly turned into a jerk like that.
If y’all are in separate rooms, leave her behind for everything-no meals, no sightseeing, and definitely no shopping. If sharing a room, go home. You have no idea what she’d do with your belongings while you’re out. Save your nerves & cut your losses and warn others when you get back home. She knows what she did was wrong & that’s why she’s avoiding you and not even attempting to pay you back. She’s a POS and lucky you hadn’t taken legal action against her. Take out an ad in the paper to warn people about her. It’s not libel/slander when it’s true……
Sorry but OP is a fool for not giving the 'friend' cab fare home right after they had coffee at the airport.
If you are low on money, That's what debit cards and credit cards are for
The relationship is done. The "friend" is an opportunist piece of trash!
Why would this broad suggest this trip, invite this girl, then show up with no money to cover her expenses, expecting the friend to pay for e everything?? What a frickin dipshit! And on top of that, angry and refusing to pay her back? I would DUMP that b***h and then sue her. I'd like to hear Judge Judy rip her a new a*s!
Yep, this happened to me once. A weekend trip which was the idea of friend X. Nothing fancy, but we did want to eat well and check nice museums. Red flags started from the planning: friend X complained about flight ticket price (actually quite cheap), museum price, everything. She mentioned she was used to people (men) paying for her stuff, so this was the first time she actually had to pay (oh oh). She had no idea that many things had a price. I made it clear with her of the budget we had. Well, she expected us to survive with kebabs the whole weekend, got mad everytime we got into restaurants. She ran out of money but wanted us to go to party and pay for her drinks. No way. Even set up tinder so she could find a dude to pay for her. I learned my lesson: travel with a person with same budget and interests.
I would have taken her to an ATM, Berlin is covert with them. And demand from her that she at least takes out € 200,- of which you should get at least some. You don't have to live of cash only.
Why u still need to ask? If it bothered you, talk to her. Go without her for city trip
You don't owe her a GD thing. Ditch her and go off on your own. Poor planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on your part.
Sounds like they just had different expectations for the trip. One thought "we'll do a budget tour and lots of sightseeing" and the other thought "we'll go and live it up a bit". So it's understandable that they are getting on each other's nerves. They just need to talk it out & meet in the middle.
Only a woman could be so entitled. She was mommy & daddy's princess, now she expects the same treatment from everyone else.
HA! I have met plenty of boys that were just as entitled as ANY female could be. Oh, and by boys I mean male figures over the adult age of 18 but not entitled to the term "man".
Load More Replies... 300€ for 4 days in berlin??? I've lived here for 10 years and that is a lot of money to spend here even if you eat twice a day and go to bars.
It costs more to be a tourist compared to living there. No matter where you go. When you know your city you know just where to shop, eat etc. You don't know that as a visitor so it could cost you. Also, as a tourist you might want to explore a bit and go to museums/attractions/etc. Buy some souvenirs type of things etc that you don't do when you are permanently living there. I think it seems like a pretty reasonable budget for Berlin as a tourist if you want to explore without thinking too much on your budget.
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