419Kviews
Disney Animator Illustrates Life With Two Children After His Wife Dies, And It Will Break Your Heart
Keeping a diary is a common and therapeutic habit, allowing an order to the cluttered thoughts and emotions that occur throughout our daily lives. Naturally, if you are a Disney animator, your diary can take on a visual format to become a 'doodle diary.'
This is what former Disney animation professional Gary Andrews started doing on his 54th birthday, as a happily married father-of-two, documenting the joy of family life with his beautiful wife and children. Sadly, tragedy was to strike, and Gary would become a widower and a single parent within three years.
While away on a work trip to Canada, Gary's wife Joy fell ill with what they thought was a simple flu. However, it soon became apparent that it was much more serious than that, and Gary rushed home to be near his beloved. On arrival back in the UK he received the devastating news: Joy had passed away from sepsis.
Completely shell-shocked from the sudden death of Joy, Gary struggled to find a way to respond to his overwhelming grief. He opened up his notebook and let his emotions pour out onto the pages. “I was crying so hard it was difficult to focus on the page. I was drawing through tears,” he told the Daily Mail. “Joy had been my soulmate for 19 years. She was beautiful, kind, generous and funny. We did everything together. When I lost her, I felt half of me had gone.”
Through the stages of grief, Gary continued with his doodle diary, recording the ups and downs, the good days and the bad. The process of putting his thoughts and emotions down on paper helped him to cope, by allowing him to vent his feelings. Joy is a recurring part of his doodles, and he also manages to capture the continuing happiness and fun that his children bring to his life, navigating the world of being a single parent.
Sepsis is a silent killer, and cartoonist Gary hopes to raise awareness for an illness that is often regarded as an afterthought for many doctors. Its symptoms, including fever, sickness, blotchy skin and dizziness, are often mistaken for other illnesses and not recognized until too late. If captured early on, it can be treated with simple antibiotics. Gary doesn't blame anyone for Joy's death. However, it was merely bad luck. “From the minute Joy was admitted to hospital, specialists from every department tried to find out what was wrong,' he says. “They couldn't have done more. It wasn't until the post-mortem that they narrowed it down to sepsis.”
“Blame and 'what ifs' won't bring Joy back. Would she still be alive if I hadn't been to Canada and a doctor had been called a day earlier? I can't think about things like that. What happened has happened, and you have to come to terms with it. I want to move forward, to honor Joy's memory and bring up our kids in a way she would have approved of.”
Scroll down below to see some of Gary's poignant doodles for yourself on how to deal with grief, and let us know what you think in the comments.
More info: Twitter
Shell-shocked from the sudden death of his wife, Gary struggled to find a way to respond to his overwhelming grief
He started drawing some doodles in his journal to document the daily life without his soulmate and found that expressing his emotions helped a bit
This post may include affiliate links.
14 Years. Some days it's still hard to process. It took me the first 4 years to really learn, that she will never come through the door again. #widowerlife #cancersucks
When I saw the title I thought "oh no, another Sad Panda post." I couldn't look away though, and of course I'm crying for the family, especially for the kids. If only I could magic their mother back... And all because of sepsis - if only they'd pinged it a little earlier, there'd almost certainly have been a different outcome. I know now what superpower I'd want - to be able to make the pain better for people who've had to suffer too much through fate's fickleness.
Man I feel so bad for this guy. I don't know if the drawings make him feel better or worse...I hope better.
Scattering ashes around a tree, brings her to you through a living monument!!
The star that glows the brightest and that catches our eyes when we look up,.....it is the only star that relates to our loved ones .....so we know they are looking and shining upon us
Now I'm crying. How beautifully he has drawn her, captured her essence.................,
Whisky and stranger things... sounds like a good night to me... but im 14 so lets make the whiskey orange juice.
I can't keep looking at these, I'm going to cry at work. They are beautiful
She really is amazing, isn't she? (I'm guessing she's a lot like Mum?) x
Hey man you are doing a 3k run with your kids!!! Lesser men (like me) would be getting drunk or nursing a hangover. You are stronger than you think! Keep going!
Omg I have been literally sobbing while reading this. You guys are so strong, I know that you will make it through this ❤️❤️
The first year seems to be the worst, after that you gradually get stronger, the children and the memories will be more comforting !!!
presence are comforting .....even when ppl are not around us.....we feel them , and miss them ....but we smile as we know they are here somewhere
My Mother passed away when I was 10 as well. I'm now 52 & still not over it.....
A very dear friend of mine died just a month ago. All the songs are sad right now.
stay strong brother......she is always there and always will be .......ur love and bond is pure......
I can totally relate. It's the dreams that kill you. Some natural sleep aids can help but don't drink till you pass out. I did that and it took years to break the habit.
ohh stop it man...u are making me cry with all this post.....its such a beautiful feeling ur are passing to me....i never wanna lose the person that i love the most.....RIP for your wife.....she seems a kind hearted person and ur love shows in all the post......may god bless u and ur family
This was great Grief is so long it does get better but tears and that chocking feeling are never far away my grief is my son. This is a club no-one should ever join!
I had to stop reading these after the first page because I started crying in study hall. I wish you the best
me too. I'm crying at work. so emotional & powerful
Load More Replies..."What do you miss about her?"... And Ben said,"Everything." The heaviest word I have ever heard...
I lost my mother at age 15. It'll be 30 years ago in November. I still miss her.
My mother died when I was 60; I still miss her and always will. My sister still misses her. When you are fortunate enough to have a really good mother, you will miss her forever after she is gone. The widower in this story has wonderful memories, no regrets for things he didn't do for her. He will always miss her; the children will miss her; however, their lives will move forward into a future. He can make new memories with his children. Perhaps he might even meet someone when he is ready, and start a new life. As someone once wrote, nothing is forever except death and taxes. He is still alive; he needs to find a way to live now. His children are aware of his grief; that does not help them with theirs. It might help them to see him returning to some kind of normal. There are meds which can put you on an even keel and keep you there. Has he seen a psychiatrist? They are also medical doctors and can prescribe medication if necessary.
Load More Replies...Absolutely heartbreaking and sincerely true, what a amazing father and husband this man is. Keep going strong, your doing an amazing job and your wife would definitely be proud of you xx
It's exactly a year today since my mum passed suddenly so couldn't go past 1st page. I think I'm sadder for my dad than me after this :(
I've enjoyed Bored Panda for a long time and this is the first one that made me ugly/beautiful cry. Today's also my bday- you've inspired me to keep living my best life ever with my family. Thanks for being so achingly vulnerable.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are doing a great job. These pictures will mean so much to your kids as they grow. Bless you.
I am not crying.. you're crying! As a mother I cannot imagine my family grieving my death. This broke me in two.
I think you are an amazing man. Through all the pain you kept things going for your kids. I couldn't be so strong. And the drawings are on another level.
So very sad and sorry for your loss. Love and healing to you and your family
Note to self, don't read this at work again. "No no im OK, its just hayfever", not sure if my coworkers were convinced.
Moving drawings. He expresses his grief well. The Samahain one was beautiful. These doodles speak far beyond the lines of shading. Thank you for sharing. We may feel like we are alone in grief, but we know it more than we like to admit
By sharing your true emotions, you are modeling for us how a man can express himself. You are showing us a healthy way to grieve. May God bless you and your wonderful children as you grow and mature as a family. May God be merciful to your wife, may her soul rest in joy and peace.
I call this kind of grief "exquisite agony" because you can only feel it after having loved completely, totally, and with all your heart.
I only found your diary by accident yesterday on Facebook - sections of it put to music but telling the story. Today I felt impelled to find out more about this person who knew grief as I do. So glad I did. It’s made my day. Thank you
This is the best way to describe grief and loss of a very close loved one, I haven't seen anything this elaborate showing the whole process of coping with ones loss and these doodles definitely made me realise how similar all humans are around the world. Thanks for this! Hoping your family is doing better and moving on slowly. Be strong! We are right by you :)
I lost my sons father last year to cancer. Thank you for sharing. Beautiful.
So beautiful, it's been almost 10 years for me since my husband passed unexpectedly. You never stop crying you just learn to live with it. Even when you start to move on, the good memories still find a way to pull on your heart strings. I think though there's a part of us we never want to forget the good and the sad.
Oh, my heart! Such a beautiful representation of the journey toward "finding a new normal" after loosing a loved one.
I absolutely love the way he draws her always being around him, just a little pale....
Touched my heart deeply. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! HUGS
This reminds me when my grandmother passed away and i had to see my grandpa wiithered away, even when the whole family trying to cheer him up, including him to family activity. But he can't bounce back, since he lost the live of his life. But i am glad that the artist have a strength to carry on and you are doing an amazing job as a father. :)
It made me cry a river already at the first page but couldn't stop reading. Emotions were strongly felt in each of the drawings and all the words are just too heartbreaking.
I try to imagine what I would do if I lost my soulmate. He is so brave to share his honest catharsis, I am moved to tears. All of us can relate to this, on some level. Thank you for sharing your talent and heart.
This breaks my heart. My boyfriend, who is also the father of my 2 kids, was killed by a drunk driver almost 6 months ago now. I was 4 months pregnant when he was killed, we had found out earlier that day that we were having another boy. 3 months after he was killed our oldest turned 3 years old and I just gave birth to our youngest a little over a month ago. Its so hard without him.
My mum lost both her mum and dad within months of each other.. 3 months before she fell pregnant with my brother. He's the eldest so they died before knowing they would become grandparents.. The pregnancy was hard because all she wanted was her mum there
This is so powerful. I'm so sorry for your loss. It really hit hard.
Maybe that’s something for all of us to think about, especially when we argue with our beloved ones In my eyes this guy is as good as any siperhero. I can’t imagine what would I do if I ever lost my wife.
It is such an important thing to communicate with others about your pain. He is doing that and it will help him heal so much. When I lost my mom I didn't talk to anyone about it...it's just guilt that everyone goes through when they lose someone they love.. I also thought I should be brave and not take others time to vent out my feelings..but it's so needed and if your friends genuinely love you they actually do understand.
I can feel the grief and sadness emanating from every stroke of your pen. My heart weeps for your loss. Time will heal, and your angel will always be with you until you are reunited once again. Much love and blessings to you and your family, and thank you for sharing this with the world.
I was always thinking that loosing someone as a child is the greatest tragedy but while growing up I've noticed that the older you get the more you understand, the more doubts you have and that it becomes way harder than when you're four or five and you believe that your dearest are still there as angels on the clouds. I know that I'm selfish but I wish I could die before everyone I love to not experience this kind of pain.
These are so beautiful. I am sobbing but so moved at the same time. Thank you for sharing.
I haven't ever cried this much at a bored panda post before. Such sad but beautiful images.
This is so wonderful. Creativity is such a suitable way to deal with grief. Beautiful drawings and words.
My hear was with through each picture. Bless you and your family and thank you so much for sharing this. It' s beyond beautiful.
" This is for my people's who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady Put you hand way up high You will never say bye " - Mariah Carey
I love the little detail of him wearing his wedding ring... devotion all the way
Shout out to those of us who will die still grieving like we lost them just yesterday. These comments mean well. Platitudes let them think they can do SOMETHING for us. Do you really want another soul who goes to sleep (if you're very lucky)and wakes up with tears in the world? Let them believe the world can never stop spinning and all grief is conquerable. I for one need to see no one in my own state of misery. Let them live the dream forever gone from us. It's as close as we'll ever be to the light again. Much love to my brothers and sisters in the unending darkness. It is upon our shoulders many will crawl back into a life with light. This is our role as ambassadors for those who didn't get to finish a life that could and should have been lived to fullness. It's the only solace offered down here, learn to let it sustain you. You don't have to be happy to live a good life, you know this. Soldier on my kindred for we are all that remains of those we speak for and they were worth it.
I had to stop reading these after the first page because I started crying in study hall. I wish you the best
me too. I'm crying at work. so emotional & powerful
Load More Replies..."What do you miss about her?"... And Ben said,"Everything." The heaviest word I have ever heard...
I lost my mother at age 15. It'll be 30 years ago in November. I still miss her.
My mother died when I was 60; I still miss her and always will. My sister still misses her. When you are fortunate enough to have a really good mother, you will miss her forever after she is gone. The widower in this story has wonderful memories, no regrets for things he didn't do for her. He will always miss her; the children will miss her; however, their lives will move forward into a future. He can make new memories with his children. Perhaps he might even meet someone when he is ready, and start a new life. As someone once wrote, nothing is forever except death and taxes. He is still alive; he needs to find a way to live now. His children are aware of his grief; that does not help them with theirs. It might help them to see him returning to some kind of normal. There are meds which can put you on an even keel and keep you there. Has he seen a psychiatrist? They are also medical doctors and can prescribe medication if necessary.
Load More Replies...Absolutely heartbreaking and sincerely true, what a amazing father and husband this man is. Keep going strong, your doing an amazing job and your wife would definitely be proud of you xx
It's exactly a year today since my mum passed suddenly so couldn't go past 1st page. I think I'm sadder for my dad than me after this :(
I've enjoyed Bored Panda for a long time and this is the first one that made me ugly/beautiful cry. Today's also my bday- you've inspired me to keep living my best life ever with my family. Thanks for being so achingly vulnerable.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are doing a great job. These pictures will mean so much to your kids as they grow. Bless you.
I am not crying.. you're crying! As a mother I cannot imagine my family grieving my death. This broke me in two.
I think you are an amazing man. Through all the pain you kept things going for your kids. I couldn't be so strong. And the drawings are on another level.
So very sad and sorry for your loss. Love and healing to you and your family
Note to self, don't read this at work again. "No no im OK, its just hayfever", not sure if my coworkers were convinced.
Moving drawings. He expresses his grief well. The Samahain one was beautiful. These doodles speak far beyond the lines of shading. Thank you for sharing. We may feel like we are alone in grief, but we know it more than we like to admit
By sharing your true emotions, you are modeling for us how a man can express himself. You are showing us a healthy way to grieve. May God bless you and your wonderful children as you grow and mature as a family. May God be merciful to your wife, may her soul rest in joy and peace.
I call this kind of grief "exquisite agony" because you can only feel it after having loved completely, totally, and with all your heart.
I only found your diary by accident yesterday on Facebook - sections of it put to music but telling the story. Today I felt impelled to find out more about this person who knew grief as I do. So glad I did. It’s made my day. Thank you
This is the best way to describe grief and loss of a very close loved one, I haven't seen anything this elaborate showing the whole process of coping with ones loss and these doodles definitely made me realise how similar all humans are around the world. Thanks for this! Hoping your family is doing better and moving on slowly. Be strong! We are right by you :)
I lost my sons father last year to cancer. Thank you for sharing. Beautiful.
So beautiful, it's been almost 10 years for me since my husband passed unexpectedly. You never stop crying you just learn to live with it. Even when you start to move on, the good memories still find a way to pull on your heart strings. I think though there's a part of us we never want to forget the good and the sad.
Oh, my heart! Such a beautiful representation of the journey toward "finding a new normal" after loosing a loved one.
I absolutely love the way he draws her always being around him, just a little pale....
Touched my heart deeply. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! HUGS
This reminds me when my grandmother passed away and i had to see my grandpa wiithered away, even when the whole family trying to cheer him up, including him to family activity. But he can't bounce back, since he lost the live of his life. But i am glad that the artist have a strength to carry on and you are doing an amazing job as a father. :)
It made me cry a river already at the first page but couldn't stop reading. Emotions were strongly felt in each of the drawings and all the words are just too heartbreaking.
I try to imagine what I would do if I lost my soulmate. He is so brave to share his honest catharsis, I am moved to tears. All of us can relate to this, on some level. Thank you for sharing your talent and heart.
This breaks my heart. My boyfriend, who is also the father of my 2 kids, was killed by a drunk driver almost 6 months ago now. I was 4 months pregnant when he was killed, we had found out earlier that day that we were having another boy. 3 months after he was killed our oldest turned 3 years old and I just gave birth to our youngest a little over a month ago. Its so hard without him.
My mum lost both her mum and dad within months of each other.. 3 months before she fell pregnant with my brother. He's the eldest so they died before knowing they would become grandparents.. The pregnancy was hard because all she wanted was her mum there
This is so powerful. I'm so sorry for your loss. It really hit hard.
Maybe that’s something for all of us to think about, especially when we argue with our beloved ones In my eyes this guy is as good as any siperhero. I can’t imagine what would I do if I ever lost my wife.
It is such an important thing to communicate with others about your pain. He is doing that and it will help him heal so much. When I lost my mom I didn't talk to anyone about it...it's just guilt that everyone goes through when they lose someone they love.. I also thought I should be brave and not take others time to vent out my feelings..but it's so needed and if your friends genuinely love you they actually do understand.
I can feel the grief and sadness emanating from every stroke of your pen. My heart weeps for your loss. Time will heal, and your angel will always be with you until you are reunited once again. Much love and blessings to you and your family, and thank you for sharing this with the world.
I was always thinking that loosing someone as a child is the greatest tragedy but while growing up I've noticed that the older you get the more you understand, the more doubts you have and that it becomes way harder than when you're four or five and you believe that your dearest are still there as angels on the clouds. I know that I'm selfish but I wish I could die before everyone I love to not experience this kind of pain.
These are so beautiful. I am sobbing but so moved at the same time. Thank you for sharing.
I haven't ever cried this much at a bored panda post before. Such sad but beautiful images.
This is so wonderful. Creativity is such a suitable way to deal with grief. Beautiful drawings and words.
My hear was with through each picture. Bless you and your family and thank you so much for sharing this. It' s beyond beautiful.
" This is for my people's who just lost somebody Your best friend, your baby, your man or your lady Put you hand way up high You will never say bye " - Mariah Carey
I love the little detail of him wearing his wedding ring... devotion all the way
Shout out to those of us who will die still grieving like we lost them just yesterday. These comments mean well. Platitudes let them think they can do SOMETHING for us. Do you really want another soul who goes to sleep (if you're very lucky)and wakes up with tears in the world? Let them believe the world can never stop spinning and all grief is conquerable. I for one need to see no one in my own state of misery. Let them live the dream forever gone from us. It's as close as we'll ever be to the light again. Much love to my brothers and sisters in the unending darkness. It is upon our shoulders many will crawl back into a life with light. This is our role as ambassadors for those who didn't get to finish a life that could and should have been lived to fullness. It's the only solace offered down here, learn to let it sustain you. You don't have to be happy to live a good life, you know this. Soldier on my kindred for we are all that remains of those we speak for and they were worth it.