Pregnant Fiancée Confused After Her Future Husband’s Best Friend Suggests He Take A Paternity Test
In some cultural traditions, a man’s best friend is considered a full-fledged member of his family, and sometimes even more important. Of course, we live in a modern civilized society, but true friendship is still highly valued. And some people take too much advantage of it.
Of course, it’s great to have a friend who always tells you the truth – in all situations, no matter how sensitive they may be. But sometimes the presence of such a person in the family becomes a threat to the existence of the family itself. And then you have to make perhaps the most difficult choice in your entire life.
For example, like the fiancé of this woman, whose post on the AITA Reddit community has already gained about 10.7K upvotes and collected more than 1.5K different comments. The topic turned out to be close to many people – apparently, they are familiar with such straightforward friends firsthand.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster and her fiancé were planning their wedding when they found out she’s pregnant
Image credits: www.RachelMFry.com (not the actual image)
So, the Original Poster and her fiancé were planning a wedding when they found out she was pregnant. When the future spouses went to the in-laws’ house to talk about the upcoming joyful event, among the family members there was the fiancé’s best friend, Jason.
Image credits: u/Throwra90678
The fiancé’s best friend was a specific person notorious for his brutal honesty
This Jason was notorious for his specific behavior – he often behaved in an overly straightforward manner, telling people what he thought right to their face, and not at all caring whether his words offended them. However, the OP’s fiancé told her more than once that he loves Jason, despite his, as he himself put it, “flawed personality.”
Image credits: u/Throwra90678
Jason stared at the OP, so she understood he was clearly going to blurt out something inappropriate
So, when the OP and her fiancé told everyone about the future member of the family, Jason suddenly stared at the OP, and she felt uncomfortable. Perhaps it was because the OP had previously worked in the sex industry, so Jason, who definitely knew this fact, was clearly going to blurt out something completely inappropriate.
Image credits: Jeff (not the actual image)
Jason suggested his best friend get a paternity test immediately
And so it happened. Jason walked right up to his best friend and said quite loudly, “Just three words, man. Paternity test, pronto!” Everyone was shocked, but none more than the OP and her fiancé.
Image credits: u/Throwra90678
The OP went off on Jason and just disinvited him from their future wedding
The woman demanded that Jason immediately explain what he wanted to express in his own words, but he, apparently realizing that he had said something really stupid, began to evade like he was simply joking and accuse the OP herself of just being a drama llama, always ready to make a scandal out of the blue.
Image credits: u/Throwra90678
The OP’s fiancé and his relatives told her she had gone too far
The OP responded that she did not want to see Jason at their future wedding at all, after which he left, repeating that he did not want to harm anyone. As a result, the fiancé and his relatives, despite the fact that they condemned the straightforward friend, still told the OP that she had gone too far, and Jason’s behavior should be taken more calmly.
Image credits: Charles Thompson (not the actual image)
However, people on Reddit massively supported the Original Poster
However, the people in the comments on Reddit were unanimous and fully supported the OP. Jason, according to some of the commenters, invaded their private life, and even if he had any reasonable suspicions about his friend’s fiancée, he should have talked to him personally, face to face. Otherwise, he just looks like a toxic jerk.
And some commenters also said that the OP’s fiancé should not have put up with such disrespect for his future wife at all – and not so important that it was his best friend. Such brutal honesty is no excuse for the awful things this man said.
We, in turn, will gladly accept any brutal honesty from you in your comments about this situation. And if you also share a similar story from your own experience – we’d perhaps consider you to be our best friends!
I hate it when people make passive-aggressive comments then come out with "It's just a joke". No it's not. It's a person who wants to hurt someone but not take any responsibility for it. Being "honest" doesn't mean you can just say whatever comes into your head. This guy Jason is going to be a continuing problem in the bride's life and she should tell her fiance how hurt she feels because of this situation. Then he needs to step up and support her by telling his friend off.
This is 100% a "Schrodinger's A**hole", where they just blurt out whatever they feel like, often for personal satisfaction, and then decide on whether or not it was a "joke" depending on the reactions of those around them. That way, they get to be an unrepentant a-hole without consequences by claiming anyone who's hurt by their "joke" is just being a "snowflake". That's not a "joke", that's him making her feel like c**p, and her fiance is just enabling him. She needs to have a serious talk with her fiance, and tell him just how badly that effects her. And if he still refuses to tell his friend to stop, then she should seriously reconsider getting married to him.
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She said he sat back and eyed her while others congratulated them. That means his word were well thought out and processed to be exactly what he intended, an incredibly insulting insinuation that she was still working in the sex trade. He was full aware and intentional of what he was doing. She’s going to have some difficult boundaries to set, mostly with her fiancé.
I'd say he taught my best friend and I will still be able to play golf and have the few drinks after the wedding. But now a baby on the way will stop all this.id let both my partner and his best friend live happily ever after. The both match each other perfectly.
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If your fiancé does not understand why Jason is an AH and why what he said is so upsetting to you, perhaps you shouldn't marry him yet. He needs to learn to be supportive and empathetic. You are not overreacting. Jason clearly disrespected you IN PUBLIC. If your fiancé doesn't get that, then he is not respecting you, either.
Will fiance be okay with his friend making that "joke" in front of the child in 5 it 6 years?
I cannot STAND people who go around claiming to be "blunt" or "brutally honest" in order to cover up what they really are, which is an arrogant douche who doesn't care about other people's feelings.
Man, f**k this Jason guy. Nobody gets to 33 without recognising assholery. He needs to learn some manners and it's not your job to teach him. Disinvite him from your wedding and your life. You don't have to tell your lameass fiance not to see him any more, but do tell him you won't join him any time they see each other.
When one's spouse cherishes the company of a serial jerk, they can do that on their own time. Weddings are stressful enough. Uninviting a jerk removes the worry that they will treat the guests and wedding party like a captive audience at an insult comedy club.
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People who say they just "tell it like it is" are just excusing rude, arrogant behavior. Source: my mother-in-law who lived with us for over 3 years, and constantly "tells it like it is". 🙄
I have an Aunt like that. Family parties are so much more pleasant now that she's moved out of the country.😊
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Yeah, I had someone make a similar "joke" when I announced my pregnancy. There's a subtype of people who think it's funny, and it's not. I ended up turning it around on him and said that it could be his baby, and suddenly the joke wasn't so funny to him anymore. (It wasn't, and couldn't, have been. But just saying that it's interesting how these people are fine with the "joke" until it's on them, then suddenly it's not okay. Hmm...)
If the fiance didn't throw friend out of the house and the upcoming wedding, these two shouldn't get married. I dont usually think fighting is the answer, but I would've clocked the idiot.
My husband would have lit him out of the house .
Load More Replies... I suspect that the friend is pissed at reduced contact with the fiance. Yes, partnered friends will be less available and attentive. No, taking it out on the partner is not the way to handle the change. He admits himself to "losing so much because of it". Either he lives with blurting his thoughts and "losing" or he finds strategies for managing his mouth. That would include apologizing when he f***s up.
Yeah, if it was "just a joke" that went poorly, the dude and the fiance owe this woman a written apology and a nice gift, and Mr. No Filter doesn't get to come to the wedding because, *checks notes* ah, because he has no filter, and even if that alone doesn't make him bad, it disqualifies him from your wedding.
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Oh yea that dude is definitely gonna object if he gets to come to the wedding
Another day another man with the “I wAs JuSt JoKiNg” bs nonsense. He wasn’t joking, they never are. Jokes are meant to be funny not insulting. Honestly I would ask the fiancé to reconsider his friendship.
He's lucky that all you did was uninvite him from the wedding. I would have need him in the nuts so hard that he could be wearing them as a set of earrings.. And the fact that you're fiance is saying it was just a joke, you might want to rethink your choices.
NTA , but this is a blood-red flag for OP. In m' family this "friend" would've gotten his face rearranged. The fact that her fiance & his fam abide this thumb head is an ominous warning. OP herself mentions Jason " losing so much because of this." He'll likely be a malignant presence in this marriage & OP's gonna live in this codependent c**p carnival for quite a while. I'd back out.
Jason isn’t being brutally honest and he isn’t joking. He’s being cruel and he’s cruel because he likes it and it makes him feel powerful. He particularly likes feeling powerful over you, the person that his best friend loves because that makes him feel more powerful than you. Be clear to your fiancé that if Jason attends the wedding, you will not and you will not tolerate this cruelty in your life.
I hate people that say "don't be a drama llama" ... You said the stuff that started the "drama", and you keep the "drama" going when it's shut down, Do I have no right to defend myself or my feelings? That guy is using "its a joke" for his "honesty", I have the same thing, I cant really lie, but i know how Not to hurt others, and when stuff should be said
what kind of friend is that, who constantly needs to be "made to behave"? I mean he is all the time berating his best friends fiancee (and others) and calling it a "flaw"? seriously? that's a friend? If he is "friend" who does not respect his buddy's woman of a choice... he cannot be called friend. Feel sorry for all women who are put second after "friends".
How about we stop calling people "brutally honest" or "they just tell it like it is" and call them by their actual name: assholes? Unless he has a mental disability people like that get excused for acting like insulting assholes way too easily. F**k them.
Mean spirited humor is never OK. As adults we all must take responsibility for our words, and comments like this one are pathological. This is about a wedding for goshsakes. The friend, and the fiance, need to acknowledge that this is a problem, and so do all the others who are just enabling this pathology. It is not going to end with this comment.
What an a*****e. Same for the fiance. What is with people not caring enough about their partners to defend them? That people would never set foot in my home if he said such a terrible thing to my partner. For the other hand I do believe that dna tests for newborn babies should be mandatory. But for both oarents and not for cheating. People needs to know who their bio parents are for medical reasons and accidents happen (like babies getting swapped).
Sounds like Fiance's Friend is jealous and possibly wants Fiance to be his fiance. Also, Fiance's Friend is a generic jackass with no respect for anyone and likes to hang his entire "personality hat" on the fact that he's...an a*s. That Fiance keeps hanging around with him says an awful lot about Fiance. It's time for a new fiance.
I've noticed that anytime someone refers to themselves as "brutally honest", they're much more interested in the brutality than the honesty. The friend is an a*****e, the fiance is an a*****e for not standing up for her, and OP should reconsider marrying a guy who will let his friend insult her like that.
Will "husband" approve when Jason makes comments about their daughters dancing on a pole " like mommy" ( and pole dancing is fantastic exercise and actually not sexual). IMHO Who cares what you did as an adult to survive, not their business! Ladies DO NOT allow these "boys" to try and humiliate you for taking care of yourself. There is NO double standard, if sex is good for men then is is good for women! PLEASE think long and hard about if your fiance' actually has your and your childs best interest in priority. Divorce hurts a lot more once the child is born, and you deserve someone who will stand up for you against ALL others.
Obviously the topic of your past has been the many of conversations between ops fiance and his friend. Some hard conversations are in order.
That is not "brutal honesty", that is rude conceited b******t. He knows exactly what he is doing, and is doing it on purpose. If this dude is the best friend, it says a lot about what to expect from the fiance.
I'm one of those "brutally honest" types & over the years, have learned how to temper that with some tact. Oh, and I generally keep my opinions to myself unless I'm asked specifically to speak. This dude is just enjoying the chaos his mouth starts. If he's been steadily making snarky comments about this woman & her past job as a sex worker, then he has an issue with HER. This is man-child jealousy over someone else being important to his bestie or he has a thing for her & doesn't want her with his buddy. Whatever the reason, Mr. Fiance should have 100% stood up for her against this bitchy-ness. Because a grown man was being bitchy. If he's more concerned about Jason's feelings than his baby-mama's, she seriously needs to revisit the level of commitment in her relationship. There is no way I'd spend my life with someone who doesn't respect me.
If he is going to be that honest with no filter then he should be able get it back in return. You dish it out then you gonna get served
There are a lot of good comments in here but one I haven’t run into yet is whether you want to share a child with a man who may secretly agree with his terrible friend. If your fiancé won’t defend you then is he ever going to be the kind of father material you thought you were getting? I’m suggesting that if you wish to consider abortion you need to decide as quickly as humanly possible.
The wedding should be postponed. The fiancee is just as big of a jerk as his "friend". Really, if he chooses someone like that for his best friend his decisions can't be trusted.
Time to sit down with the fiance and go over emotionally manipulative personality disorders, and ask if he is willing to cut off his friend, get professional help (counseling), or leave. The friend sounds like a narcissist, and things will not get better without the fiance being aware of that and taking appropriate action, and by that I mean, cut off the friend, get professional help, or GTFO. Otherwise, the friend WILL always be there messing things up, jealous of any attention not on him. It will happen at the wedding, it will happen when you hang out, it will happen when he calls your partner to make plans without you, and the friend will blame you for all of it, make it sound reasonable, and drive a wedge in an already tough (raising kids is tough!) part of your relationship. Oh, also this has the perfect comeback line: so I did take a paternity test, and since you can't stand up for your partner or your child, it turns out you are the father in genetics only"
That's a huge insult, not "being honest". One of my husbands friends did ask the same question, or rather "but are you sure it's yours?". Don't you think I would know and why would I lie about that? (And no, of course I had not cheated). Besides, we are a mixed race couple so, I would have to specifically look for a man with the same nationality to cheat with (some work there... or else he would know at birth anyway). If you don't trust your partner you shouldn't even be together so doubting that is only damaging. The "friend" was a huge AH in this story and I wouldn't want him around either.
Insinuating that your friend's fiancee is cheating on him has nothing to do with his alleged "brutal honesty". It;s not honesty, since no truth has been spoken, just his disgusting preconceptions.
Yeah this isnt telling it like it is, this is insulting a person in front of family for no reason. Telling it like it is would have been if he had caught her cheating first and then did this.
I would be telling her fiance it's either Jason or the baby, because there is no way a child should be brought up around someone who's going to actively stir up trouble between its parents. Jason is a ill mannered small brained jerk, who has no ability to control his thoughts, emotions or mouth. This man is probably one of the most toxic people I've heard of and needs to be removed from their relationship
I would get a paternity test and have it delivered with a demand for child support because no way would I be married to someone who did not defend me and our child . Let him live with his a*****e friend.
Your fiancee's first loyalty should be to you and your unborn child. He is supposed to be your protector, and to Always have your back. Just like you should always have his. his family also didn't defend you? You can do better.
As un PC as it is to say it: it is very par the course for people to assume a former sex worker is unfaithful, requires extra monitoring, will lapse from the good path at any moment, is less-than, and should just all-around be eternally grateful that any man at all would want them. That last bit is what is the issue here, since it is what is used to excuse 'well meaning' friends and family from making nasty comments about the woman's past, and getting persnickety upset when she doesn't accept the behavior as her due. It is a rare person indeed who would be able to avoid all of the attitudes above, and an even rarer one who has friends and family with similar views. It does seem, by her fiance's implied agreement in letting the behavior slide, that he also subconsciously believes that she is required to accept this type of treatment as a consequence of her sex worker past, and/ or that she should be grateful and get along.
I'd leave the fiance at the altar + have someone announce "He's marrying Jason today!"
Sounds like she would be better off being a single mother. Personally if it works out that's she separate from the lousy boyfriend, she should serve him & Jason both with DNA test🤷
I hope someone calls this douche canoe out on his b******t, since clearly his dumbass friend never will.
Are you sure they are just friends? Because what he did sounded like something one would do out of... jealousy. Return the "joke". Say that the test would be necessary if your fiancé was the one who's pregnant. ;)
Are you sure they are just friends? Because what he did sounded like something one would do out of... jealousy. Return the joke. Say that the test would be necessary if your fiancé was the one who's pregnant ;)
NTA his supposedly best friend had some underlying issues he needs to resolve. Just because you are an ex sex worker doesn’t make you satan . S**t happens. You did what you had to do to survive . People need to get the f**k over themselves and stop the hate. He was an a*s pure and simple. He does not belong at the wedding .
Obviously Jason Was just Joking! "Worst Day Of My Life! GoSH!!! hqdefault-...f13ef5.jpg 
Would've asked him why he didn't look like his daddy, was there something he needed to tell everyone
I definitely don't mean any shame to sex workers both former and current but I kinda can see where this guy's comment comes from. Still very out of line and the OP was NTA for her behavior.
Do the test, the best friend pays for it, and he hast to eat the results document at the wedding
just make him pay for the test then he hast to eat the results papers at the wedding
I would be suspicious of that that overreaction was defensiveness over the possibility of something to hide in there isn’t any shame in asking for a paternity test.
Paternity test ASAP. He just said what the Fiance wants to say but won't. Why she get mad? If it don't apply, let it fly. unless the other people knew she was an "ex" worker too, they would of assumed the guy was an a*s & joking. She bought more attention to herself then him.
Jason's behaviours sound very much like he is on the spectrum and needs a diagnosis. I actually don't agree with people being mad at him. Sometimes when people behave like this it's not because they are being jerks they are simply just being themselves. You can still get an adult diagnosis that way people will learn to except his ways and love him for who he I'd as opposed to getting mad at and dis-inviting him to things. Obviously the fiance loves his friend.
Naw.. I've known people on the spectrum who are million times nicer than that garbage. Also, that's never an excuse anywho. IJS.
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A lot of you are out here giving it away for free by the dozens and no one is asking you to get tested for anything lol. She probably protected herself better than the rest of you have.
Load More Replies... I hate it when people make passive-aggressive comments then come out with "It's just a joke". No it's not. It's a person who wants to hurt someone but not take any responsibility for it. Being "honest" doesn't mean you can just say whatever comes into your head. This guy Jason is going to be a continuing problem in the bride's life and she should tell her fiance how hurt she feels because of this situation. Then he needs to step up and support her by telling his friend off.
This is 100% a "Schrodinger's A**hole", where they just blurt out whatever they feel like, often for personal satisfaction, and then decide on whether or not it was a "joke" depending on the reactions of those around them. That way, they get to be an unrepentant a-hole without consequences by claiming anyone who's hurt by their "joke" is just being a "snowflake". That's not a "joke", that's him making her feel like c**p, and her fiance is just enabling him. She needs to have a serious talk with her fiance, and tell him just how badly that effects her. And if he still refuses to tell his friend to stop, then she should seriously reconsider getting married to him.
Load More Replies... She said he sat back and eyed her while others congratulated them. That means his word were well thought out and processed to be exactly what he intended, an incredibly insulting insinuation that she was still working in the sex trade. He was full aware and intentional of what he was doing. She’s going to have some difficult boundaries to set, mostly with her fiancé.
I'd say he taught my best friend and I will still be able to play golf and have the few drinks after the wedding. But now a baby on the way will stop all this.id let both my partner and his best friend live happily ever after. The both match each other perfectly.
Load More Replies... If your fiancé does not understand why Jason is an AH and why what he said is so upsetting to you, perhaps you shouldn't marry him yet. He needs to learn to be supportive and empathetic. You are not overreacting. Jason clearly disrespected you IN PUBLIC. If your fiancé doesn't get that, then he is not respecting you, either.
Will fiance be okay with his friend making that "joke" in front of the child in 5 it 6 years?
I cannot STAND people who go around claiming to be "blunt" or "brutally honest" in order to cover up what they really are, which is an arrogant douche who doesn't care about other people's feelings.
Man, f**k this Jason guy. Nobody gets to 33 without recognising assholery. He needs to learn some manners and it's not your job to teach him. Disinvite him from your wedding and your life. You don't have to tell your lameass fiance not to see him any more, but do tell him you won't join him any time they see each other.
When one's spouse cherishes the company of a serial jerk, they can do that on their own time. Weddings are stressful enough. Uninviting a jerk removes the worry that they will treat the guests and wedding party like a captive audience at an insult comedy club.
Load More Replies... People who say they just "tell it like it is" are just excusing rude, arrogant behavior. Source: my mother-in-law who lived with us for over 3 years, and constantly "tells it like it is". 🙄
I have an Aunt like that. Family parties are so much more pleasant now that she's moved out of the country.😊
Load More Replies... Yeah, I had someone make a similar "joke" when I announced my pregnancy. There's a subtype of people who think it's funny, and it's not. I ended up turning it around on him and said that it could be his baby, and suddenly the joke wasn't so funny to him anymore. (It wasn't, and couldn't, have been. But just saying that it's interesting how these people are fine with the "joke" until it's on them, then suddenly it's not okay. Hmm...)
If the fiance didn't throw friend out of the house and the upcoming wedding, these two shouldn't get married. I dont usually think fighting is the answer, but I would've clocked the idiot.
My husband would have lit him out of the house .
Load More Replies... I suspect that the friend is pissed at reduced contact with the fiance. Yes, partnered friends will be less available and attentive. No, taking it out on the partner is not the way to handle the change. He admits himself to "losing so much because of it". Either he lives with blurting his thoughts and "losing" or he finds strategies for managing his mouth. That would include apologizing when he f***s up.
Yeah, if it was "just a joke" that went poorly, the dude and the fiance owe this woman a written apology and a nice gift, and Mr. No Filter doesn't get to come to the wedding because, *checks notes* ah, because he has no filter, and even if that alone doesn't make him bad, it disqualifies him from your wedding.
Load More Replies... Oh yea that dude is definitely gonna object if he gets to come to the wedding
Another day another man with the “I wAs JuSt JoKiNg” bs nonsense. He wasn’t joking, they never are. Jokes are meant to be funny not insulting. Honestly I would ask the fiancé to reconsider his friendship.
He's lucky that all you did was uninvite him from the wedding. I would have need him in the nuts so hard that he could be wearing them as a set of earrings.. And the fact that you're fiance is saying it was just a joke, you might want to rethink your choices.
NTA , but this is a blood-red flag for OP. In m' family this "friend" would've gotten his face rearranged. The fact that her fiance & his fam abide this thumb head is an ominous warning. OP herself mentions Jason " losing so much because of this." He'll likely be a malignant presence in this marriage & OP's gonna live in this codependent c**p carnival for quite a while. I'd back out.
Jason isn’t being brutally honest and he isn’t joking. He’s being cruel and he’s cruel because he likes it and it makes him feel powerful. He particularly likes feeling powerful over you, the person that his best friend loves because that makes him feel more powerful than you. Be clear to your fiancé that if Jason attends the wedding, you will not and you will not tolerate this cruelty in your life.
I hate people that say "don't be a drama llama" ... You said the stuff that started the "drama", and you keep the "drama" going when it's shut down, Do I have no right to defend myself or my feelings? That guy is using "its a joke" for his "honesty", I have the same thing, I cant really lie, but i know how Not to hurt others, and when stuff should be said
what kind of friend is that, who constantly needs to be "made to behave"? I mean he is all the time berating his best friends fiancee (and others) and calling it a "flaw"? seriously? that's a friend? If he is "friend" who does not respect his buddy's woman of a choice... he cannot be called friend. Feel sorry for all women who are put second after "friends".
How about we stop calling people "brutally honest" or "they just tell it like it is" and call them by their actual name: assholes? Unless he has a mental disability people like that get excused for acting like insulting assholes way too easily. F**k them.
Mean spirited humor is never OK. As adults we all must take responsibility for our words, and comments like this one are pathological. This is about a wedding for goshsakes. The friend, and the fiance, need to acknowledge that this is a problem, and so do all the others who are just enabling this pathology. It is not going to end with this comment.
What an a*****e. Same for the fiance. What is with people not caring enough about their partners to defend them? That people would never set foot in my home if he said such a terrible thing to my partner. For the other hand I do believe that dna tests for newborn babies should be mandatory. But for both oarents and not for cheating. People needs to know who their bio parents are for medical reasons and accidents happen (like babies getting swapped).
Sounds like Fiance's Friend is jealous and possibly wants Fiance to be his fiance. Also, Fiance's Friend is a generic jackass with no respect for anyone and likes to hang his entire "personality hat" on the fact that he's...an a*s. That Fiance keeps hanging around with him says an awful lot about Fiance. It's time for a new fiance.
I've noticed that anytime someone refers to themselves as "brutally honest", they're much more interested in the brutality than the honesty. The friend is an a*****e, the fiance is an a*****e for not standing up for her, and OP should reconsider marrying a guy who will let his friend insult her like that.
Will "husband" approve when Jason makes comments about their daughters dancing on a pole " like mommy" ( and pole dancing is fantastic exercise and actually not sexual). IMHO Who cares what you did as an adult to survive, not their business! Ladies DO NOT allow these "boys" to try and humiliate you for taking care of yourself. There is NO double standard, if sex is good for men then is is good for women! PLEASE think long and hard about if your fiance' actually has your and your childs best interest in priority. Divorce hurts a lot more once the child is born, and you deserve someone who will stand up for you against ALL others.
Obviously the topic of your past has been the many of conversations between ops fiance and his friend. Some hard conversations are in order.
That is not "brutal honesty", that is rude conceited b******t. He knows exactly what he is doing, and is doing it on purpose. If this dude is the best friend, it says a lot about what to expect from the fiance.
I'm one of those "brutally honest" types & over the years, have learned how to temper that with some tact. Oh, and I generally keep my opinions to myself unless I'm asked specifically to speak. This dude is just enjoying the chaos his mouth starts. If he's been steadily making snarky comments about this woman & her past job as a sex worker, then he has an issue with HER. This is man-child jealousy over someone else being important to his bestie or he has a thing for her & doesn't want her with his buddy. Whatever the reason, Mr. Fiance should have 100% stood up for her against this bitchy-ness. Because a grown man was being bitchy. If he's more concerned about Jason's feelings than his baby-mama's, she seriously needs to revisit the level of commitment in her relationship. There is no way I'd spend my life with someone who doesn't respect me.
If he is going to be that honest with no filter then he should be able get it back in return. You dish it out then you gonna get served
There are a lot of good comments in here but one I haven’t run into yet is whether you want to share a child with a man who may secretly agree with his terrible friend. If your fiancé won’t defend you then is he ever going to be the kind of father material you thought you were getting? I’m suggesting that if you wish to consider abortion you need to decide as quickly as humanly possible.
The wedding should be postponed. The fiancee is just as big of a jerk as his "friend". Really, if he chooses someone like that for his best friend his decisions can't be trusted.
Time to sit down with the fiance and go over emotionally manipulative personality disorders, and ask if he is willing to cut off his friend, get professional help (counseling), or leave. The friend sounds like a narcissist, and things will not get better without the fiance being aware of that and taking appropriate action, and by that I mean, cut off the friend, get professional help, or GTFO. Otherwise, the friend WILL always be there messing things up, jealous of any attention not on him. It will happen at the wedding, it will happen when you hang out, it will happen when he calls your partner to make plans without you, and the friend will blame you for all of it, make it sound reasonable, and drive a wedge in an already tough (raising kids is tough!) part of your relationship. Oh, also this has the perfect comeback line: so I did take a paternity test, and since you can't stand up for your partner or your child, it turns out you are the father in genetics only"
That's a huge insult, not "being honest". One of my husbands friends did ask the same question, or rather "but are you sure it's yours?". Don't you think I would know and why would I lie about that? (And no, of course I had not cheated). Besides, we are a mixed race couple so, I would have to specifically look for a man with the same nationality to cheat with (some work there... or else he would know at birth anyway). If you don't trust your partner you shouldn't even be together so doubting that is only damaging. The "friend" was a huge AH in this story and I wouldn't want him around either.
Insinuating that your friend's fiancee is cheating on him has nothing to do with his alleged "brutal honesty". It;s not honesty, since no truth has been spoken, just his disgusting preconceptions.
Yeah this isnt telling it like it is, this is insulting a person in front of family for no reason. Telling it like it is would have been if he had caught her cheating first and then did this.
I would be telling her fiance it's either Jason or the baby, because there is no way a child should be brought up around someone who's going to actively stir up trouble between its parents. Jason is a ill mannered small brained jerk, who has no ability to control his thoughts, emotions or mouth. This man is probably one of the most toxic people I've heard of and needs to be removed from their relationship
I would get a paternity test and have it delivered with a demand for child support because no way would I be married to someone who did not defend me and our child . Let him live with his a*****e friend.
Your fiancee's first loyalty should be to you and your unborn child. He is supposed to be your protector, and to Always have your back. Just like you should always have his. his family also didn't defend you? You can do better.
As un PC as it is to say it: it is very par the course for people to assume a former sex worker is unfaithful, requires extra monitoring, will lapse from the good path at any moment, is less-than, and should just all-around be eternally grateful that any man at all would want them. That last bit is what is the issue here, since it is what is used to excuse 'well meaning' friends and family from making nasty comments about the woman's past, and getting persnickety upset when she doesn't accept the behavior as her due. It is a rare person indeed who would be able to avoid all of the attitudes above, and an even rarer one who has friends and family with similar views. It does seem, by her fiance's implied agreement in letting the behavior slide, that he also subconsciously believes that she is required to accept this type of treatment as a consequence of her sex worker past, and/ or that she should be grateful and get along.
I'd leave the fiance at the altar + have someone announce "He's marrying Jason today!"
Sounds like she would be better off being a single mother. Personally if it works out that's she separate from the lousy boyfriend, she should serve him & Jason both with DNA test🤷
I hope someone calls this douche canoe out on his b******t, since clearly his dumbass friend never will.
Are you sure they are just friends? Because what he did sounded like something one would do out of... jealousy. Return the "joke". Say that the test would be necessary if your fiancé was the one who's pregnant. ;)
Are you sure they are just friends? Because what he did sounded like something one would do out of... jealousy. Return the joke. Say that the test would be necessary if your fiancé was the one who's pregnant ;)
NTA his supposedly best friend had some underlying issues he needs to resolve. Just because you are an ex sex worker doesn’t make you satan . S**t happens. You did what you had to do to survive . People need to get the f**k over themselves and stop the hate. He was an a*s pure and simple. He does not belong at the wedding .
Obviously Jason Was just Joking! "Worst Day Of My Life! GoSH!!! hqdefault-...f13ef5.jpg
Would've asked him why he didn't look like his daddy, was there something he needed to tell everyone
I definitely don't mean any shame to sex workers both former and current but I kinda can see where this guy's comment comes from. Still very out of line and the OP was NTA for her behavior.
Do the test, the best friend pays for it, and he hast to eat the results document at the wedding
just make him pay for the test then he hast to eat the results papers at the wedding
I would be suspicious of that that overreaction was defensiveness over the possibility of something to hide in there isn’t any shame in asking for a paternity test.
Paternity test ASAP. He just said what the Fiance wants to say but won't. Why she get mad? If it don't apply, let it fly. unless the other people knew she was an "ex" worker too, they would of assumed the guy was an a*s & joking. She bought more attention to herself then him.
Jason's behaviours sound very much like he is on the spectrum and needs a diagnosis. I actually don't agree with people being mad at him. Sometimes when people behave like this it's not because they are being jerks they are simply just being themselves. You can still get an adult diagnosis that way people will learn to except his ways and love him for who he I'd as opposed to getting mad at and dis-inviting him to things. Obviously the fiance loves his friend.
Naw.. I've known people on the spectrum who are million times nicer than that garbage. Also, that's never an excuse anywho. IJS.
Load More Replies... A lot of you are out here giving it away for free by the dozens and no one is asking you to get tested for anything lol. She probably protected herself better than the rest of you have.
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