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Weddings are meant to bring people together, but sometimes they reveal not just who’s in; they also show who’s out.
Reddit user Then-Dragonfruit-702 recently shared a story about her best friend‘s destination wedding. Originally child-free, the bride later decided to accept a few babies—but only under strict conditions, which she herself set for every guest individually. When the Redditor learned her baby wasn’t welcome, she tried to reason with her friend, as it was really difficult for her to make arrangements that would allow her to leave the little one behind.
However, their bond turned out to be nowhere near as important as the ceremony.
RELATED:
A couple should be able to be in charge of their wedding
Image credits: Rawpixel / envato (not the actual photo)
But is it worth sacrificing lifelong friendships over it?
Image credits: drazenphoto / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Then-Dragonfruit-702
Vicki Psarias-Broadbent, author of the new children’s book Greek Myths, Folktales & Legends, thinks both child-free and child-full weddings can be fun, but they have to be fair
Image credits: Honest Mum
We contacted Bored Panda’s parenting expert and bestselling author Vicki Psarias-Broadbent, who is raising a teen, a tween, and a 3-year-old, and she believes “it’s acceptable to have a child-free wedding, but I do feel you need to stick to it; having allowances for some to bring babies and not others will end up disgruntling guests and causing issues.”
Psarias-Broadbent, who runs the critically acclaimed family blog Honest Mum and has just released a beautiful new book for a younger audience consisting of 20 Greek myths, says one common rule at weddings is called ‘babes in arms,’ and couples can explain on the invite (and/or other forms of communication) that, for example, children under 16 are not invited, but babies in arms are.
“Emotions run high at weddings, so limiting stress and confusion where possible will help everyone,” she says.
According to Psarias-Broadbent, if the parents need to leave for a multi-day event, it can be tricky to leave the baby with someone overnight, especially if the mother is breastfeeding.
“Worries aside, it can also be expensive. I think the bride and groom need to establish what’s important to them on their wedding day, and if potentially missing certain guests on the big day is not a worry, then enforce strict rules,” Psarias-Broadbent says.
“I feel it’s ideal to be a little flexible so you are reasonable without compromising on the day and your goals and vision as the hosts.”
As her story went viral, the woman joined the discussion in the comment section
And she received a lot of different reactions, including some suggestions
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What do you think ?
Zelda McLink 2 months ago
If you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that a lot of people won't be able to make it, no matter how much they love you. If it's a choice between rent and someone else's wedding, your rent always gonna win.
Rika 2 months ago
Destination weddings shouldn't be a thing unless all of your guests are rich and have no commitment. Most people don't have crazy money to spend on someone else's wedding and can't afford to take time off work or get a nanny. Plus, making it a childfree wedding when a lot of people who are supposed to attend are breastfeeding is plain ridiculous, they obviously need the baby to be with them.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 2 months ago
I could neither have a destination wedding nor would I wanna attend one because, as the British say "I can't be arsed" which is really the only eloquent way I can think of phrasing my feelings towards it all
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Don't go to a destination wedding if you have an infant. If you don't have childcare have a parent stay home.
Mi So 2 months ago
This feels so similar to an issue we had with our wedding, except we did not have a destination wedding & most people didn’t have to travel at all. Big exception were my brother & SIL, who were both in our wedding party, & their 1 y/o. We had childfree wedding, assuming 1y/o could stay with SIL’s family….turns out, she didn’t feel comfortable leaving him with her mom or sister. So we adjusted - we dressed him like his dad, declared him a “ring bearer”, hired in a mother’s helper (with my cousin for backup) who could take him out of the ceremony if he was loud, & set up a crib in the bridal suite. Cost to his parents-$0. But still basically a childfree wedding for us.Still close to my SIL, she trusts husband & I with her kid (but not her fam), & no strain on the relationship, making them choose. People need to realize their wedding may be the event of the year & centre of the universe FOR THEM, but not for everyone else. They are the main character ONLY in their own story.
Mark Childers 2 months ago
Personally, I think all weddings should be child free. The kids are bored out of their minds and will probably act up, and it's an adult event. I also feel that destination weddings are selfish. If a couple thinks they need to get married out of the country, great! They should have a blast. Then have the reception back at home so people can actually attend without going into debt. I feel like it's all for social media.
We ride at dawn biatches 2 months ago (edited)
My family is huge, when someone gets married children of all ages are always welcome. It's supposed to be a happy day with your loved ones. As a toddler I was taken on the dancefloor by older cousins, as a mother now myself I took my baby to another cousins wedding party. Just normal.
Sabrina 2 months ago
When one of my friends got married in another country, she paid for our maid of honor's clothes and hotel, as well as transport to and from the event, since it is a nearby country, we could take a coach back, which was provided by them as well. There has never been a child-free event at our cultural wedding.
Miriam Insidecor 2 months ago
It's their wedding. If they don't want kids there then that's fine.
Zelda McLink 2 months ago
If you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that a lot of people won't be able to make it, no matter how much they love you. If it's a choice between rent and someone else's wedding, your rent always gonna win.
Rika 2 months ago
Destination weddings shouldn't be a thing unless all of your guests are rich and have no commitment. Most people don't have crazy money to spend on someone else's wedding and can't afford to take time off work or get a nanny. Plus, making it a childfree wedding when a lot of people who are supposed to attend are breastfeeding is plain ridiculous, they obviously need the baby to be with them.
Delicate Fcuking Flower 2 months ago
I could neither have a destination wedding nor would I wanna attend one because, as the British say "I can't be arsed" which is really the only eloquent way I can think of phrasing my feelings towards it all
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 2 months ago
Don't go to a destination wedding if you have an infant. If you don't have childcare have a parent stay home.
Mi So 2 months ago
This feels so similar to an issue we had with our wedding, except we did not have a destination wedding & most people didn’t have to travel at all. Big exception were my brother & SIL, who were both in our wedding party, & their 1 y/o. We had childfree wedding, assuming 1y/o could stay with SIL’s family….turns out, she didn’t feel comfortable leaving him with her mom or sister. So we adjusted - we dressed him like his dad, declared him a “ring bearer”, hired in a mother’s helper (with my cousin for backup) who could take him out of the ceremony if he was loud, & set up a crib in the bridal suite. Cost to his parents-$0. But still basically a childfree wedding for us.Still close to my SIL, she trusts husband & I with her kid (but not her fam), & no strain on the relationship, making them choose. People need to realize their wedding may be the event of the year & centre of the universe FOR THEM, but not for everyone else. They are the main character ONLY in their own story.
Mark Childers 2 months ago
Personally, I think all weddings should be child free. The kids are bored out of their minds and will probably act up, and it's an adult event. I also feel that destination weddings are selfish. If a couple thinks they need to get married out of the country, great! They should have a blast. Then have the reception back at home so people can actually attend without going into debt. I feel like it's all for social media.
We ride at dawn biatches 2 months ago (edited)
My family is huge, when someone gets married children of all ages are always welcome. It's supposed to be a happy day with your loved ones. As a toddler I was taken on the dancefloor by older cousins, as a mother now myself I took my baby to another cousins wedding party. Just normal.
Sabrina 2 months ago
When one of my friends got married in another country, she paid for our maid of honor's clothes and hotel, as well as transport to and from the event, since it is a nearby country, we could take a coach back, which was provided by them as well. There has never been a child-free event at our cultural wedding.
Miriam Insidecor 2 months ago
It's their wedding. If they don't want kids there then that's fine.
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