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Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any! 

So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.

However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here - our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends. 

#1

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you're stupid and make bad decisions.” - Marion G. Harmon

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#2

“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”

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The Panarchist (He/They)
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what you’re saying is maybe I shouldn’t spend all my college savings on a trip to Mount Everest?

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#3

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” - Alan Dundes

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Nathaniel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trump appears bright because every day he gets freshly painted with Ronseal fence protector.

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#4

“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”

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#5

“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

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#6

“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”

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#7

“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Engines are working at 110 percent, which is a little weird, but a bit of overkill never killed anybody." (If you get this quote, you get a cookie. A digital one, clearly. I don't know where you live).

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#8

“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”

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#9

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.” - Albert Einstein

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#10

“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”

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#11

“If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” - W.C. Fields

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#12

“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” - Ashleigh Brilliant

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#13

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”

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Ansi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is acctually inspiring for my procrastination. Tomorrow will NOT be a better day to do things. It's just like today. So you might as well do it today instead of tomorrow or after the weekend. I will NOT get some magical inspiration after the weekend, it wont be a better day. Just the same. So better do it today.

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#14

“Just because you are unique doesn't mean you are useful.”

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#15

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey

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#16

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields

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#17

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead

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#18

“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”

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A Jones
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And only being paid the amount for one task during the same time period.

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#19

“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams

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Mistralok
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that.” -DA-

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#20

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

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Sydney-Kate
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you love the movie, READ THE BOOK! I had to read it for school and it was the only book I’ve ever actually wanted to read

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#21

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” - Dorothy Parker

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#22

“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”

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#23

“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”

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#24

“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” - Dwight Schrute

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#25

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.” - Lemony Snicket

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#26

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” - Bette Midler

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LagoonaBlueColleen
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is true, ain't it. ... I'm gonna start being proud of those who deserve success.

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#27

“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”

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Laura Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretending I have it all together is exhausting, so I don't do that...🤪🤪

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#28

“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”

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#29

“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin

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#30

“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia

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#31

“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”

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#32

“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”

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#33

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.” - John Benfield

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#34

“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”

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Eat Dirt Crow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless life gives you water and sugar, that's going to be some crappy lemonade.

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#35

“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”

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LagoonaBlueColleen
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's always someone who can do it better, and someone who can do it worse.

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#36

“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” - Harry Hill

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#37

“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”

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LagoonaBlueColleen
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People still, traditionally, work Friday. It would make more sense to say it's always Saturday.

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#38

“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”

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#39

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”

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#40

"Challenging yourself... is a good way to fail." - Dom Mazzetti

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LostSage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This also goes with trying something new, however, while both challenging oneself and trying new things might be a good way to fail in the short term... they are also both great to succeed in the long term.

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