Mom Asks For Advice After She Finds Out Her Adult Daughter Has Been Making TikToks About How She “Traumatized” Her, So She Disconnects The Internet
Imagine how horrible you’d feel if you found out that someone you care about is saying awful made-up things about you online. Now imagine that ‘someone’ is a close family member. Like your own child. We’d be absolutely devastated!
It’s any parent’s nightmare to find out that their kids are lying about them on the world wide web. And that nightmare became a reality for redditor u/TraumatisedKid12021. In a very candid post on the AITA subreddit, the mom shared how she confronted her 20-year-old daughter after taking a peek at the TikTok videos she uploads. She took drastic measures to try and correct this behavior.
Scroll down for the full story in the author’s own words, as well as to see how the internet reacted, Pandas. Who do you think was in the wrong here? What would you have done in this case? What do you feel is the best way forward? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments.
Some parenting challenges are far more difficult to overcome than others
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
A mom turned to the AITA community to ask if she was wrong to punish her daughter for lying about her on TikTok
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TraumatisedKid12021
There is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent. There are only parents who do their best to grow and improve as people, for the sake of their kids. Redditor u/TraumatisedKid12021, the author of the post, pointed out that she in no way thinks that she’s a ‘perfect’ mother.
She detailed that her grown daughter doesn’t have a job, isn’t studying anything, and feels that her parents are to blame for her ‘trauma.’ It’s difficult to come to any conclusions as to what extent the daughter may or may not be traumatized without getting her side of the story.
However, going solely by the information that her mom presents, it appears that she might be attributing ‘trauma’ to situations that appear not to be traumatic at all. At the same time, the redditors who read the story noted that the daughter probably might benefit from going to therapy. Family counseling can be incredibly beneficial in situations like this one: everyone can get on the same page and start unraveling what’s actually going on here.
Some AITA community members believe that there’s a serious case of entitlement going on here. As we wrote on Bored Panda very recently, one antidote for entitlement while growing up is playing and socializing a lot with kids around your own age. When you’re made to solve arguments and settle differences, pretty much on your own without adult oversight, you start to realize just how valuable your ability to communicate well, compromise on decisions, and collaborate with others really is.
The internet and all of the high-tech gadgets we use in our day-to-day life is definitely here to stay. It’s our responsibility to not let them consume our lives and those of our kids. However, telling your kids they can’t be online is a tough challenge to tackle. Dr. Liz Donner explained to Bored Panda earlier that finding what to replace screen time with can be an issue.
“A screen is very captivating and can keep a child entertained for hours while their parents are busy getting other things done. Many parents allow free reign because they feel that the screen is harmless or even educational for their child’s developing brain,” she said.
“Limiting screen time increases the amount of valuable real-life skill development. Kids require actual human interaction to enhance their social skills and even motor development. They need to learn to understand real human facial expression, body language, tone of voice, and reciprocal communication skills,” Dr. Donner told us.
“Screen-free interaction with your children doesn’t have to be anything fancy. Reading a book to them as early as 6 months of age has shown to increase their language and reading skills later in life. Hands-on play time will teach them social interaction and motor skills that are essential to their healthy development. Lastly, we find that less screen time in the toddler years corresponds to lower rates of ADHD by the age of 7.”
Most internet users thought that the mom was right to react the way that she did
However, some readers felt like everyone was to blame for the entire family drama
You know, I'm just going to drop this here that quite a lot of very abusive parents *never realize* (or admit openly) that they were indeed, the problem. It sounds as if the daughter has issues, but I doubt the big, scary internet has anything to do with them.
I was going to say the same thing. We only have one side of the story, and no way to know just how true the parents side is.
Why would she want to stay with such abusive parents? Why not ask her followers for help? Why stay and mooch? I got the hell out of the house as soon as I could without even knowing where I was going. You automatically assume the parents are the problem when she is showing all the signs of being a lazy drama queen.
We're not ASSUMING anything, merely stating that this account is purely one sided, and may therfore be jaundiced. Not everyone has the means to get away from abusive parents. You did, good for you. But don't assume your experiences are universal. I stuck it out in order to save for my future when I Would get away.
Not everyone is mentally prepared for separation from abusers, either. We can't tell, from this post, whether the parents actually did anything wrong. My parents were abusive. My half sister is over a decade younger. They brainwashed her, and even after she moved in with me, while I paid for her education, she still felt compelled to move back in with them, because abusers are very adept manipulators. By the time she moved out of their house, again, she thoroughly hated me. She knew they weren't good people, but she couldn't tell their lies from truth, and our relationship was shattered. She never spoke to me. Abusive parents can be a heck of a convoluted nest of lies.
I didn't move out until I was in my 30s despite my mother being abusive. Why? Well, because I didn't have other options, because my mental health wasn't strong enough and because I felt like I didn't deserve it. Even now, a year after leaving, I still sometimes feel that I should go back because it's better not to inflict myself on other people.
Except in this case the daughter is not taking a single measure to get out, as well as lying about basic sht like their socialeconomic class for internet asspats for her fake opression
I'm betting the daughter isn't lying so much as clueless about real life. They were lower middle class in as affluent neighborhood, which means they had less stuff, older cars, less fancy stuff than her classmates causing her to think they were poor. The girl needs to get out into the real world to put her traumas into perspective and realize she had it pretty good. This is assuming OP gave a reasonably accurate account, of course.
Having trauma due to my parents actions in my teen years, I can tell you that my mum never apologised for breaking the family apart. She always blamed my dad for everything, even today, she says that my abandonment issues are something everybody has and its not "trauma" (which is trauma, I'm diagnosed by a psychiatric). OP clearly stated that they aren't perfect parents and that they have made mistakes.
I think family therapy is needed, you're right, it's no one sided.
She took the internet away because her daughter made her look like a bad mom over the internet.
NTA but it's kinda funny bc she's talking about her daughter on social media platforms too. Not like that serves her daughter any justice though.
Yeah but the girl posts videos of herself, the parent's friends may recognise their daughter, teachers and friends can recognise her and see how she talks about her parents. While we will never know who OP is
I feel like Jane & mom need therapy. Jane because well... the obvious & because someone with "so much trauma" shouldn't be going without it. & mom needs it because she needs to learn how to handle this level of manipulation from her daughter.. this is a two way street. Jane didn't get this way just because of TikTok. She got this way because she's been allowed to get away with it her whole life.. it seems like she's never been told no, she's been spoiled since birth & she's so used to being the center of attention who always gets her way that now that she's an adult she's using whatever excuse she can to not be an adult so mommy & daddy care for her & coddle her for the rest of her life which isn't healthy for anyone in this household. I hate when parents act like they're so shocked when they're kids act like this.. but then they fail to see how they got that way. My step sister is also an only child & she's exactly the same way. Love her to death but.. she's got issues.
My sister is the same way, and my parents told us 'no' all our lives. Sometimes, it's just a disorder.
You know, I'm just going to drop this here that quite a lot of very abusive parents *never realize* (or admit openly) that they were indeed, the problem. It sounds as if the daughter has issues, but I doubt the big, scary internet has anything to do with them.
I was going to say the same thing. We only have one side of the story, and no way to know just how true the parents side is.
Why would she want to stay with such abusive parents? Why not ask her followers for help? Why stay and mooch? I got the hell out of the house as soon as I could without even knowing where I was going. You automatically assume the parents are the problem when she is showing all the signs of being a lazy drama queen.
We're not ASSUMING anything, merely stating that this account is purely one sided, and may therfore be jaundiced. Not everyone has the means to get away from abusive parents. You did, good for you. But don't assume your experiences are universal. I stuck it out in order to save for my future when I Would get away.
Not everyone is mentally prepared for separation from abusers, either. We can't tell, from this post, whether the parents actually did anything wrong. My parents were abusive. My half sister is over a decade younger. They brainwashed her, and even after she moved in with me, while I paid for her education, she still felt compelled to move back in with them, because abusers are very adept manipulators. By the time she moved out of their house, again, she thoroughly hated me. She knew they weren't good people, but she couldn't tell their lies from truth, and our relationship was shattered. She never spoke to me. Abusive parents can be a heck of a convoluted nest of lies.
I didn't move out until I was in my 30s despite my mother being abusive. Why? Well, because I didn't have other options, because my mental health wasn't strong enough and because I felt like I didn't deserve it. Even now, a year after leaving, I still sometimes feel that I should go back because it's better not to inflict myself on other people.
Except in this case the daughter is not taking a single measure to get out, as well as lying about basic sht like their socialeconomic class for internet asspats for her fake opression
I'm betting the daughter isn't lying so much as clueless about real life. They were lower middle class in as affluent neighborhood, which means they had less stuff, older cars, less fancy stuff than her classmates causing her to think they were poor. The girl needs to get out into the real world to put her traumas into perspective and realize she had it pretty good. This is assuming OP gave a reasonably accurate account, of course.
Having trauma due to my parents actions in my teen years, I can tell you that my mum never apologised for breaking the family apart. She always blamed my dad for everything, even today, she says that my abandonment issues are something everybody has and its not "trauma" (which is trauma, I'm diagnosed by a psychiatric). OP clearly stated that they aren't perfect parents and that they have made mistakes.
I think family therapy is needed, you're right, it's no one sided.
She took the internet away because her daughter made her look like a bad mom over the internet.
NTA but it's kinda funny bc she's talking about her daughter on social media platforms too. Not like that serves her daughter any justice though.
Yeah but the girl posts videos of herself, the parent's friends may recognise their daughter, teachers and friends can recognise her and see how she talks about her parents. While we will never know who OP is
I feel like Jane & mom need therapy. Jane because well... the obvious & because someone with "so much trauma" shouldn't be going without it. & mom needs it because she needs to learn how to handle this level of manipulation from her daughter.. this is a two way street. Jane didn't get this way just because of TikTok. She got this way because she's been allowed to get away with it her whole life.. it seems like she's never been told no, she's been spoiled since birth & she's so used to being the center of attention who always gets her way that now that she's an adult she's using whatever excuse she can to not be an adult so mommy & daddy care for her & coddle her for the rest of her life which isn't healthy for anyone in this household. I hate when parents act like they're so shocked when they're kids act like this.. but then they fail to see how they got that way. My step sister is also an only child & she's exactly the same way. Love her to death but.. she's got issues.
My sister is the same way, and my parents told us 'no' all our lives. Sometimes, it's just a disorder.