Mom Leaves Teen Daughter Alone In The Hospital On Christmas, Hoping It Will Teach Her A Lesson, Wonders If She Went Too Far
There’s nothing worse than being sick on Christmas. Sitting in the corner feeling feverish, watching everyone else enjoy their holiday treats and unwrap presents while you make countless trips sprinting to the bathroom and feeling sorry for yourself. It’s even worse to end up in the hospital on Christmas, knowing that all of the festivities are going on without you, but that’s why most of us try to stay healthy around the holidays. Washing our hands frequently, avoiding anyone who’s been ill recently, and most importantly: not doing anything that we know will make us sick.
One woman recently reached out on Reddit wondering if she was a jerk for leaving her 16-year-old daughter in the hospital on Christmas all alone. The catch, however, is that the teenager knew exactly what she was doing before she became ill, so her mom had a hard time feeling sympathetic. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the responses readers have left the mother, so you can decide for yourself whether or not she should have spent time in the hospital on Christmas.
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments section, and then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article featuring family drama surrounding Christmas, look no further than right here!
After her daughter intentionally ate foods that make her sick on Christmas, this mother is wondering if she was wrong for spending the holiday at home instead of at the hospital
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Any Lane (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Hospitalthrowaway532
For many of us, the food is a huge part of the celebration on Christmas. Roasted turkey, tamales, gingerbread cookies, pecan pie, macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, hot chocolate, and more. So I completely understand why this teenager would want to experience the holiday to the fullest. But ending up in the hospital is not a merry way to spend your Christmas, and unfortunately, as many of the commenters pointed out, 16 is old enough to understand that our actions have consequences. She has a history of experiencing severe illness after eating trigger foods, so why would she want to go through the torture of becoming violently ill yet again?
Although food allergies and intolerances are a major inconvenience, and can be life-threatening, they are a common thing to deal with. In the United States alone, about 32 million people have food allergies, and about 20% of the world’s population has some sort of food intolerance. It may not be fun to avoid gluten, sugar, oil, or whatever else may be a trigger for this teen, but plenty of people are in a similar boat and have to avoid certain foods for health reasons as well. Personally, I don’t know what it’s like to have a severe food sensitivity or allergy, but I do know what celebrating the holidays on a vegan diet is like. Sure, it takes a little more effort to prepare, and I may not be able to eat Grandma’s Christmas cookies or my mom’s famous pies. But it is totally worth it to enjoy my day, knowing that I ate what makes me feel comfortable.
The mother who shared this story noted that she went out of her way to have many safe options available for her daughter, so there was no reason for her to stick to the trigger foods. Unfortunately, it can often make a food seem more appealing when it’s “off limits”, but for most people, the threat of becoming violently ill and ending up in the hospital is enough to deter us from eating certain foods. Essentially, those trigger foods are poison to her, and nobody likes to chase their dinner with a shot of household cleaner or paint.
Some commenters on Reddit also began hypothesizing about what health issues the girl may be battling. While she has not been officially diagnosed with anything, a few potential causes are simply having a sensitive stomach, having gallbladder issues, gastroparesis, or irritable bowel syndrome or disease. But the mother has noted that it’s been challenging to get a diagnosis, so they have been primarily focusing on how to manage the symptoms.
According to Verywell Health, one of the best ways to manage a sensitive stomach is to cut out trigger foods. And apparently, many of the most common trigger foods are the same foods this mother mentioned that upset her daughter: spicy foods, tomato sauce and citrus fruits, fried foods, high-fat foods, processed foods, gluten, artificial sweeteners and high sugar foods. However, it’s important to keep any diet from becoming too restrictive, so Verywell Health reminds readers with sensitive stomachs to ensure that they are still eating fresh fruits and vegetables, lean protein, fiber-rich whole grains and drinking plenty of water. Some of the best foods that individuals with sensitive stomachs can usually handle well are yogurt, fermented foods, whole grains, bananas, rice, cooked fruits and vegetables, eggs, lean cuts of meat and applesauce.
I can’t imagine how painful it must be to see your daughter struggle with constantly becoming ill like this, but at some point she has to learn her lesson. Her illness this time was preventable, and it would not have been fair for her mother’s Christmas to be ruined by spending time in the hospital just because someone wanted to eat all of her trigger foods. As some readers pointed out, it might be time to see a therapist and try to get this illness, or potentially anxiety-induced sickness, under control. 16 is old enough to start taking accountability. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments down below, pandas. Do you think the mother should have stayed by her daughter’s side, or do you think it was time to show some tough love?
Many readers assured the mother that her tough love was justified, and that her daughter needs to learn her lesson
While others thought that the mother should have handled the situation differently
Some even suggested that the daughter seek professional help, as this behavior could be considered self-harm or a potentially sign of an eating disorder
Eating disorder here. It doesn't matter who the A is, get her some help. This sounds like a really bad case.
Yes she needs help. But I have always mixed feelings when people casually say get the kid help / send them to therapy. Because it's the parents who have to get help for themselves first, it's because of them that the disorder exists in the first place. And if they don't fix that no therapy for the teenager can fix the problem for good unless they can move out and start their independent life. At the age of 16... I mean I've met people that age which sued their parents for neglect and got a flat paid. Or ran away to get therapy at a secret location after their parents refused, but that are the really tough cases and it's always better the parents seek help first.
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While I would agree that she might benefit from therapy, no one ever seems to remember that some people are just dickheads.
If her parents are just dickheads then she needs therapy all the more.
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This girl's behavior is very, very similar to an alcoholic's. They know the drink will harm them and likely cause misery for those around them, but can't fight the impulse to drink anyway. I can understand the mom's weariness with this situation, but anyone who continues a harmful behavior, especially knowing what the painful consequences will be, needs the help of a mental healthcare professional.
NTA. A 16yo knows what she can or cannot eat. Does she do it for attention??? EDIT --- Now hang on here - just bc I post that she might do it for attention does not mean I don't care. It means I want to know what the heck is going on and she needs help.
And if it is for attention, then someone is ignoring her needs. Why would a child torture themselves for attention? I’m honestly heartbroken by the lack of empathy here.
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I am pretty appalled by the commenters who see a young woman struggling to the point where she is self-harming badly enough to need hospital treatment and are then shaming her for it. Didn't we make it past blaming people for mental illness yet?
Showed my mum this article and I don't think I've ever seen her been so appalled by a bunch of internet comments before. Now she's just sad about the kid who got abandoned in a hospital over Christmas
Load More Replies... It might not be an eating disorder. My sister has cycling vomiting syndrome and this could have been written about her. It took years to get her diagnosed and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t accidentally stumbled upon an obscure mention of it in one of my medical textbooks and my parents asked the doctor to look into it. Food isn’t the only trigger. So are stress and anxiety and teenagers are full of that. It’s too early to jump to the conclusion that it’s just for attention. Diagnosis for some lesser known things can take many years. In my sister’s case we just got lucky accidentally stumbled upon it. Just because no one has found a physiological cause doesn’t mean it’s not there. As for the attention bit if you only have four or five safe foods like my sister did before treatment you’d get really sick of them really fast too. The kid needs empathy. How would you feel if you had a major health problem and everyone told you that you were just after attention.
Apparently there is more than a few foods she can eat. Meat, vegetables, even dairy are ok. It seems to be the cheap oils and fats used in fast foods and snacks that trigger this, along with soda. The kid even likes the food she can eat, there was a good selection available. I would think the child needs therapy to sort out why she harms her body. Could be a lot of underlaying issues. As to the mom not going to the hospital, that may be a bit of tough love and I kinda understand.
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YTA The daughter needs a sort of therapist which was not provided to her, not visiting the daughter as a punishment during Christmas is very extreme, I don't think she did it for attention or any of that she just clearly needs help
Especially since the hospital is rather distressing any time of year
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Only reading the question, yes a*****e, after reading the explanation, maybe not.. to me this seems that the daughter might even deliberately do this so she can control the mother and make her miserable also. Could also be self control issues, but there is limit how far you can enable that kind of behavior, maybe this was the needed wake up call. Sure 16 is still a kid but if you wait till she is 20 and then first time deny the enabling behavior, it will be way harder for her to change.
This sounds like deliberate self-harm. It doesn't matter that it is food that most people can eat. She is purposefully making herself ill. She is purposefully making herself the centre of attention and effectively demanding people dance attendance on her. This teenager needs help, and needs it now. The root cause must be found, and addressed. If that doesn't happen then she is going to keep harming herself.
The question is:what's making her so miserable that she is self harming. Most people who self harm don't do it for attention.
Load More Replies... This could be the wake up call the girl needs to realise that she can't continue to live her life as she has been doing. On the other hand this could be attention seeking behaviour as she knows she will get one on one time with her mum while in hospital. I don't blame the mum for reaching the end of her tether, it's hard enough being a parent to a teenager who doesn't have other health conditions to deal with. Therapy is definitely a good idea but it could just be that the daughter is bloody minded and will do whatever she wants regardless of the consequences.
In German it’s called „Krankheitsgewinn“ maybe someone can translate? Means she learned if she’s sick she’s getting a lot of attention. So absolutely NTA but best OP could do!
The literal translation is sickness-profit. There's not an English word for that as far as I know. But basically, that term means that the person is getting something from being sick.
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My Son is 8. He can't eat some foods be because of allergies. Everything with hazelnut will make him itchy in his throat and he will thro up. But he knows how bad he would feel. So when he doesn't know whats in some food he asks or he reads the ingredients. He knows very well that he shouldn't eat that. And he us avoiding everything thst would make him miserable. A 16 year old should know better.
Which is why this is so weird. There's something else going on here. The both need counseling.
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First, the daughter should be tested for fructose malabsorption - every food or snack listed as a trigger item is loaded with fructose and her safe foods sound like items allowed on a low fodmap diet. Second, the daughter should be made to contribute money or labor towards the portion of the hospital bill that is not covered by insurance. I'm assuming this family is in the US, where Healthcare and ER services are not free. Also, should the daughter find herself uninsured in a few years, this behavior could potentially lead to financial ruin for her. Lastly, for everyone saying she's self harming or has deep psychological problems, I would say think about it. She's 16, sees her friends and family eating this stuff and is probably frustrated that she can't enjoy having the delicious treats too. She probably gets away with it once in awhile without a severe reaction, so then it becomes Russian Food Roulette for her.
This kid's priorities are messed up. Cheetos are good, but I want to see the magical Christmas Cheetos that are worth all of this. But whatever, it was a choice. But hopefully her mom can sit with her this week and explain how choices work: she chose to do this in front of a house full of guests, and then wanted her mom to stay at the ER with her all night, instead of at their house with all of the guests. Mom's choice was Christmas, with egg nog, slippers, and family, and the daughter's choice was a hospital bed, an IV, bedpans, and frequent vitals checks so sleep won't really be a thing. I mean, I remember teaching my kid about choices when she was like 4, like who is in charge of who's decisions, but hey, maybe she needs a refresher course. It really does make me wonder how she expects to move out on her own or go to college or something. Is she going to call her mom drunk from the bar after eating an order of onion rings even though she knew? Or expect a roommate to deal with that?
Mother and daughter both need therapy. If my kid had an eating disorder or allergy I wouldn't bring those foods home. point blank. Sad story.
OK so if she did it for attention, what's going on that she feels she needs to do that for attention ?and if she did then she has a mental illness,can't belive the amount of people here slamming her for that,shame on you guys.Also if the family she lacks control over not eating what's bad for her,why have it there on Christmas day,surely the other family members etc could survive without it for a day.Either way she needs medical advise and counseling and by the sounds of it a whole lot of love .I doubt she would make herself sick and hospitalized just for the hell of it,and again if she does ..why?mental health issue here .Poor girl ,stop slamming her for an either physical or mental illness.The mother is totally in the wrong here
I'm going with ESH. Reading what she she is not able to eat just did not sit well with me. It was totally generic. Cheetos, chips, carbonted beverages, and sweets? It doesn't seem like they have done a food diary or seen a decent allergist/immunologist. I do my very best not to project but I can name 2 ingredients in all those foods right off the top of my head that could be the culprit. Also, I've learned that just "avoiding" is not always the end all be all of the situation. A lot of people have different issues with foods these days. There are an awful lot of substitutions that don't have people's "bad ingredients" in them. It is up to the parents to help their children figure these things out. Oh, but that takes actual work. You know, as opposed to just letting the joys of life be sucked out of a kids life and abandoning them in the hospital to tEaCh ThEM a LeSsOn.
This "vomiting" that needs ER access and few days in hospital seems quite strange to me.
I think you’re thinking of a single episode of vomit rather than a more several day episode- probably needed fluids by iv if she couldn’t keep anything down orally, possibly hardcore anti nausea drugs and iv nutrition.
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Anne she has an eating disorder and eating the foods that taste great that make her throw up after is better than nit eating at all or making herself throw up or taking laxatives. I'd say mom's nit the AH but she definitely needs to look at finding someone for her daughter can talk to since she's being destructive to herself .
I'm not totally against tough love if you have really tried everything else, but what ever is happening here a hospital choose to keep the child in for 3 days over Christmas. Sounds quite serious so I think the child needed her mum. What confuses me here is the rest of the family. How come they all criticised the mum rather than go to the hospital? I spent Christmas in hospital when I was 16, my mum was working - she was a nurse so could be with me at a moment's notice and I slept through most of it. My sister and dad took shifts though in case I woke up. A few times I've been in hospital, this was always the case. One time I needed surgery day before we were meant to fly to my sister's wedding. Although my dad sobbed, my mum understood my insistence as soon as they knew the surgery went well, I needed them to go. Still, aunties and family friends were there for me (and I was in my mid 20's). Where are the rest of this poor girls family?
Both of you are AH?! Yes, she is old enough to understand that there will be consequences. But! It is so hard to look at others shoveling junk food and you can only look. She already have unhealty relationship with food as she is refering to eat junkfood to live a little. There are other ways to have fun really.. you should explore it together. You should support her and eat same (and only) dishes which she is able to eat to not keep her tempted. Maybe one day without visit was okay, to let her think and cry a little. But you all are responsible for what happened.
Daughter's situation -- 1. 16, not fully mature and therefore capable of making stupid choices often. It comes with being 16. 2. Peer pressure. It *sucks* to be the odd one out who can't do what everyone else is doing. 3. Depression is likely a factor here. Depression from both the condition itself and being denied things everyone else can enjoy. ---- When my sister was diagnosed diabetic at age 40, it depressed her so deeply she lost her job and stayed at home for almost a year. Her life already had multiple stresses that made her miserable, and that was just one thing too much. During that year, she did not keep to a diabetic diet, no matter how much we begged her. Her response was always: "I'd rather die from the diabetes than eat that diet. My life is miserable enough already, and now I can't even eat what I enjoy? Life's not worth living anymore, then. So I'll eat what I want, for momentary happiness. F the future."
And that may be exactly what's happening with this girl, especially in light of her comment about "Christmas is once a year and I want to live a little". The food brings her momentary happiness that is worth the physical pain she knows will come later, because she's *already* in emotional pain. She needs a psychologist, a nutritionist, and a supportive network, not "tough love" and abandonment. Emotional issues like this just don't go away because you browbeat the person into compliance. And being hospitalized didn't change my sister. Therapy *did*. That and our support to ease her other stresses and pain made eating the forbidden foods less important. The food wasn't her only source of brief happiness anymore.
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IDK about this one. 16 year olds are still children, and their young brains are still developing. They are still learning how to handle their own bodies and minds,etc...which takes about 20+ years for many of us. I just wonder why all those dangerous food items were even there at the Christmas table. I mean isn't that like putting booze in front of an alcoholic and teasing them with, "well, it's up to you to choose whether or not to drink!" If something is bad for a family member's health, you should just keep it out of the house. . . . I mean like I have food allergies that could kill me or put me in the hospital. So we just don't even bring those items into our home. Why tempt fate? So that's why I kind of wonder why those foods were even present at all in the first place.
Also, as some of the other comments mentioned, why haven't the parents learned about alternative versions of the foods that make their daughter sick? If they had learned how to make fruit sweetened treats, etc. when she was little she would already be cooking them for herself by now and experimenting with her own recipes. When a child has a medical condition like this it may be inconvenient but the whole family has to be involved in helping to manage it.
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ESH. While I understand where the mom was coming from, it’s still majorly effed up to not visit her once. The daughter also needs help.
I would say that at 16, she's old enough to know that there consequences. But I think there's bigger problem than just "she can't stop eating food that make her sick". Definitely get help. She might have eating disorder or some mental health problems.
I would suggest looking at the gallbladder - gallbladder problems aren't common at her age, but if it hasn't been checked out thoroughly, it really should be. I had my gallbladder removed at 16, and this description of trigger foods reminds me very my of my own symptoms after the surgery. It could be a sign that her gallbladder isn't working properly, and there are medications that can replace the function and make fat easier to digest.
Okay. I'm not going to say who the AH is, but instead address these things. Before I do that, I'm speaking from my experience with GERD (acid reflux) and Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I've had acid reflux since I was 14, and only got the other diagnosis recently. On to my list: 1. OP has to do more for her daughter, but they need family therapy to help that. 2. When I say that OP has to do more, I mean that she needs to make it a team effort. Don't just try to manage the situation by herself. 3. OP needs to look for a pediatric gastroenterologist. Yes, those are hard to find, but they can help with more medical testing. I also hope that OP is taking her daughter to the dentist on a regular basis. I'm not familiar with EDs, but I think that the daughter has one that's not being addressed. As someone on the post said, that does continual damage to her organs and teeth. From my experience, I had to go to the dentist frequently in my teens to make sure my teeth were okay.
I'm not trying to be an ãsshole with my opinions and experience. The daughter needs help because as a couple of Redditors pointed out, she's self-harming.
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Was the daughter told that if she got sick her mom wouldn't visit her? If not that's really s****y. If she knew beforehand that'd be one thing because then she's making that choice. If her expectation is that her mom is going to be there for her and that changes without warning, that's going to cause her a ton of emotional distress. This is not an acceptable way to punish your child, it's bordering on psychologic abuse.
I am wondering if they give her pain meds in the hospital. They very likely are. This MAY be a way for her to get her fix. I have been there. The OP may want to check on it.it is very easy to get used to that high and do what you need to do to get it.
Really? Someone down voted me? Opiate addiction from ER visits is a real thing.
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YTA in so many ways. You put a bunch of snacks in sweets on the table in front of a kid alfor everyone to eat except her? Wft.
I've been in the daughter's shoes but instead of throwing up, my a*s would basically explode. I learned how to modify my diet and sometimes, it's worth the pain later. That being said, this way to the extreme and I'm with the others who think she needs some professional psychological help. I get the mom's side of it too. She has 2 more years where she can make her kid get some help. It's almost impossible to force an adult to get a mental evaluation let alone any type of therapy
Of course NTA, I honestly don't even see what's to discuss here. At 16 you should know better.
Esh. It sounds like she has a really unhealthy relationship with food. As someone with IBS/D I don't even crave the foods that make me sick because my brain/body associates those foods with the bad consequences of eating them. I'm surprised to hear she is willing to experience the horrible repercussions for something as simple as "taste good", which is why I'm inclined to believe there is some sort of psychological issue going on here. She needs to go into therapy and get help for whatever issue is at play here, which is why mom is kind of an AH. it is a parent's responsibility to get their kid this kind of help. On a side note, I'm not a doctor, but I'm surprised there isn't a diagnoses. This sounds like pretty textbook IBD (chron's disease).
Absolutely. I also have ibs and the foods that cause problems cause physical disgust just by smelling them. I also have allergies and sensitivities and severe stomach pain or vomiting keep me away from what I can't eat. Usually. Christmas is once a year and I ate some seitan even though my stomach doesn't like it. So with that in mind, I have a little understanding for this teenager. But otherwise, this is a pretty harsh example of what self-harm can be. Just the thought hurts my stomach. Fortunately, she receives treatment in the hospital because strong and continuous diarrhea/vomiting causes, for example, potassium deficiency, and from experience I can say that it is dangerous.
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I wonder some things: 1) Why go to ER for a (somewhat familiar and controlled) flare up from food? 2) Is she doing this for attention/likes (does she post this on socials?) Control issues? 3) Make her pay for (part of) the bills if there are any. 4) DO keep supporting her.
Because you have to rule out medical emergencies. It is probably another vomiting episode like the ones before it with the same unknown cause, but you don’t want to automatically assume that it is. It could also be something potentially life threatening. The hospital is just playing it safe. Also throwing up for that long could lead to dehydration requiring IV fluids to correct.
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Good lord yes you are!!! What she needs is your help and you abandoned her. Illnesses as a teenager especially the ones that other people can notice are difficult and challenging to a teens psyche. It no different if your child was diabetic and ate candy knowing there not spouse to have it. Personally if I was her doctor I would call CPS on you. Hope you had a relaxing Christmas though
I'm in the middle with this. No your NTA because Hard Head make a soft a$$. Yes you ATA because as a mother despite what's going on my child will never be alone in the hospital by herself.
Mine would. Especially when they are repeatedly doing stupid stuff, that they know will end up with them in the hospital. Who has time to be at the hospital multiple times a month?
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YTA for putting all these foods out in front of her at Christmas. Wtf is wrong with you??
I agree with the pot panda. I think it’s time to take your daughter to a psychiatrist. What she’s doing could be described as bulima. No one who is fully aware that a certain food will make them vomit, continually eats it. Besides the fact that all that stomach acid will destroy her teeth & damage her oesophagus . It’s Not healthy, physically or emotionally for her to be eating things she Knows are bad for her to the point that she is vomiting uncontrollably & ending up in the ER on a regular basis. If the Doctors have ruled out a physical cause then perhaps it’s time to search for a psychological one.
I’ve gotta go with NTA, but the mom is an idiot for not getting her counseling, and the daughter is either stupid as hell or has an eating disorder
I almost never say this, but no one is the a*****e here. Both mom and daughter are absolutely sick(no pun intended) of this recurring issue and it doesn't help that docs haven't given them a straight answer or sent them to the right people who could help in this situation. I get where the mom is coming from due to the medical bill cost and the fact that daughter has had years to learn that she can't eat stuff like this but in the same breath the daughter is tired of being limited to "safe" foods when everyone around her can eat junk foods without care or consequences and has also learned that her medically mandated diet restrictions are limiting her ability to blend in with her peers at school,which depending on how the social currents in her school are running,can lead either to her being left alone to the point of total social isolation or being an open target for every bully in the school and both extremes each carry a very high risk of self harming behaviors. BOTH mother and daughter need therapy and the help of doctors who specialize in Nutritional and/or gastrointestinal medicine and get to the bottom of the daughter's medical issues BEFORE the girl winds up in a catastrophic situation.
NTA. I couldn't help thinking, that your daughter eats herself into the hospital on purpose to get you to come and "be with her". Does she have trouble with getting you alone at other times?
I have rheumatoid arthritis and migraines both have trigger foods granted I still eat chocolate even though I know I'll limp for a few days but I accept that and own it, I don't expect help or sympathy. The daughter needs to learn to accept her situation.
I'm going to go with YTA... while this may be medical (like a gallbladder issue for instance), it could also be psychological... she is a child crying out to you for help and you are choosing to ignore her, which doesn't sound like the 1st time! You seem to have painted yourself in a rosy light nonetheless, in addition to putting these foods out in front of her. Something in my gut tells me you may be the problem, and have stressed this poor kid to the point of an anxiety, eating, or personality disorder. She is a child still!!! You are frustrated i understand, but still a cold hearted mother. You both need therapy.
I feel like there has to be some information missing here. I'm a chronic illness patient who's had at least 300 ER visits by now, and I've never heard of someone being admitted to the hospital for multiple days because they were vomiting a lot for several hours. If she needs IV hydration, they'd have her rehydrated and ready for discharge within less than 24 hours. What is hapoening for this teen that she's in the hospital for days at a time? Are there dangerous complications, other symptoms not mentioned...? My heart goes out to that kid knowing she must feel out of control and scared and that doctors have not been able to define or treat her issue.
As someone with a digestive order that ends up in the ER almost annually with complications(even when I'm eating clean), the day will come when she'll have to do it all on her own. Drive herself to the ER, check herself in, wait on the room all alone, pay the co-pay, ask the doctor for a non-narc pain reliever so she can drive herself home, drive to the pharmacy, take care of herself in the days that follow.... It's not easy. It's very frustrating. It can feel lonely at times. It's scary. But it's a reality. If you're reading this, I strongly encourage you to look into Low-FODMAP.
I have diabetes type 2. As my doctor has said, myy diet consists mostly of rabbit food: no animal fats, no red meat, no sugar or honey, no white potatoes, rice or noodles... etc. I am limited to 45 cabohydrates per meal, and a snack of 15 carbs. My husband does not share my diet with me, and he does not cook for me. I strongly believe this mom should be cooking for her daughter. Here are the titles of some cookbooks that have delicious food recipes. Diabetic Living Eat Smart Lose Weight Your guide to cooking healthy & feeling good,Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston New York 2018; The Big Book of Healthy Smothies and Juices, Aadamsmedia, Avon Massachusetts 2014; and What's Cooking Low Fat, by Kathryn Hawkins. The Diabeties diet, is just a healthy food diet. I am an older woman, and I get 'Diabetic sick' with more foods than when, I 1st got the disease. Diabeties kills, so I must be careful. I demand foods I can eat, and to make desserts. I play with my phone at meals!!!
I'm really torn over this one ... anyone who has ever had some sort of digestive system disorder (I'm talking to the point of surgery), just would NOT eat something that would bring on a major problem and hospital stay. If this girl is knowingly doing this, there's more at play here than choosing improper foods. There is something seriously wrong, and it requires more than the mother/parents saying "she knows better than to eat the trigger foods ..."
Definitely NTA. I'm so sick of ppl making excuses for kids this old, waving it off as "kids being kids" instead of holding them accountable. She's old enough to drive, so she's old enough to make this decision and bare the consequences. This isn't something that came on recently, she's had years to get used to it. I get that it sucks but that's life. She's had plenty of time to grow the eff up and be responsible. Can you imagine how infuriating it would be to have a 10 yo do something this dumb when they fully know better? So there is zero excuse for 16yo. The mom hit her limit and I don't blame her one little bit.
To a point I get the mother. When you've had enough of your child's behaviour, you've had enough. However, she is still a child and it was Xmas...
And also, she must have been very unwell to warrant a hospital stay. They don't let you take a bed for small reasons
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The first time you were able and you had to do something about the situation you had in your mind was to do it
I enjoy drinking alcohol but if I drank alcohol to the point where I would throw up EVERY SINGLE TIME, wouldn't you all agree that I have a huge problem? That girl is making herself sick on purpose (not necessarily because she wants to), get her to a therapist like years ago! Figuring out her allergies is one thing, but that girl has been self-harming for a long time
For sure she needs better medical help to find out what this is. But that's not the issue here, is it? She won't take it seriously enough, even time in hospital won't make her stop. If upsetting her by leaving her alone on Christmas actually works then it may just be worth it..
She likely has a food intolerance/sensitivity if the reaction is delayed/ not immediate. If the food is consumed regularly then this is easily solved with an IgG blood test and brief period of total elimination of the trigger foods.
Gall bladder or pancreatic inflammation. She needs a longer course of anti-biotics. Vomiting will make the inflammation worse.
ESH. The daughter sucks the most, and she deserves to feel the consequences of her actions. But a mom is still a mom and she should still be there for her daughter and it sucks that she’s not doing more to support her kid.
Hmmm I would say both are AH. She is 16yo, she is old enough to understand consequences. But! It is really hard to see others shoveling junky food which you like and not eat any yourself. You should support her and try celebrate with healty food for everyone and get rid of tempting ones. From the list is sounds it is mostly junk anyway. She wants to "live a little" with junk food... that's really unhealthy way to comfort yourself.. it shouldn't be tight to food, there is many other ways to have fun.
NTA, but they have made the mistake to take responsibility for their daughter's illness. That's why she will sneak out and eat the forbidden food. I have seen it happen with a man in his sixties who was diagnosed with diabetes. His wife immediately took charge of his diet, which is why he would sneak out to eat ice cream every chance he got.
NTA, the daughter has been in the hospital a lot of times because she chose to eat this way. The daughter needs to get her c**p together.
Like many of the commenters said, would you have the same reaction if it was any other form of self-harm? A very high proportion of modern teenage girls self-harm, it's not about "getting her c**p together".
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She sounds like an attention seeker. Does this for the "send love an prayers" social media people. Eventually she will be 18 and hope she gets a job with good ins to pay those hpt bills. A $2 bag of chips isn't worth $50,000 in debt. Maybe show her how much she's cost you ignoring her allergies and start billing her for it.
Food allergies are not an LGTBQ issue. Calm down and put the political protest sign away.
Load More Replies... Eating disorder here. It doesn't matter who the A is, get her some help. This sounds like a really bad case.
Yes she needs help. But I have always mixed feelings when people casually say get the kid help / send them to therapy. Because it's the parents who have to get help for themselves first, it's because of them that the disorder exists in the first place. And if they don't fix that no therapy for the teenager can fix the problem for good unless they can move out and start their independent life. At the age of 16... I mean I've met people that age which sued their parents for neglect and got a flat paid. Or ran away to get therapy at a secret location after their parents refused, but that are the really tough cases and it's always better the parents seek help first.
Load More Replies... While I would agree that she might benefit from therapy, no one ever seems to remember that some people are just dickheads.
If her parents are just dickheads then she needs therapy all the more.
Load More Replies... This girl's behavior is very, very similar to an alcoholic's. They know the drink will harm them and likely cause misery for those around them, but can't fight the impulse to drink anyway. I can understand the mom's weariness with this situation, but anyone who continues a harmful behavior, especially knowing what the painful consequences will be, needs the help of a mental healthcare professional.
NTA. A 16yo knows what she can or cannot eat. Does she do it for attention??? EDIT --- Now hang on here - just bc I post that she might do it for attention does not mean I don't care. It means I want to know what the heck is going on and she needs help.
And if it is for attention, then someone is ignoring her needs. Why would a child torture themselves for attention? I’m honestly heartbroken by the lack of empathy here.
Load More Replies... I am pretty appalled by the commenters who see a young woman struggling to the point where she is self-harming badly enough to need hospital treatment and are then shaming her for it. Didn't we make it past blaming people for mental illness yet?
Showed my mum this article and I don't think I've ever seen her been so appalled by a bunch of internet comments before. Now she's just sad about the kid who got abandoned in a hospital over Christmas
Load More Replies... It might not be an eating disorder. My sister has cycling vomiting syndrome and this could have been written about her. It took years to get her diagnosed and it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t accidentally stumbled upon an obscure mention of it in one of my medical textbooks and my parents asked the doctor to look into it. Food isn’t the only trigger. So are stress and anxiety and teenagers are full of that. It’s too early to jump to the conclusion that it’s just for attention. Diagnosis for some lesser known things can take many years. In my sister’s case we just got lucky accidentally stumbled upon it. Just because no one has found a physiological cause doesn’t mean it’s not there. As for the attention bit if you only have four or five safe foods like my sister did before treatment you’d get really sick of them really fast too. The kid needs empathy. How would you feel if you had a major health problem and everyone told you that you were just after attention.
Apparently there is more than a few foods she can eat. Meat, vegetables, even dairy are ok. It seems to be the cheap oils and fats used in fast foods and snacks that trigger this, along with soda. The kid even likes the food she can eat, there was a good selection available. I would think the child needs therapy to sort out why she harms her body. Could be a lot of underlaying issues. As to the mom not going to the hospital, that may be a bit of tough love and I kinda understand.
Load More Replies... YTA The daughter needs a sort of therapist which was not provided to her, not visiting the daughter as a punishment during Christmas is very extreme, I don't think she did it for attention or any of that she just clearly needs help
Especially since the hospital is rather distressing any time of year
Load More Replies... Only reading the question, yes a*****e, after reading the explanation, maybe not.. to me this seems that the daughter might even deliberately do this so she can control the mother and make her miserable also. Could also be self control issues, but there is limit how far you can enable that kind of behavior, maybe this was the needed wake up call. Sure 16 is still a kid but if you wait till she is 20 and then first time deny the enabling behavior, it will be way harder for her to change.
This sounds like deliberate self-harm. It doesn't matter that it is food that most people can eat. She is purposefully making herself ill. She is purposefully making herself the centre of attention and effectively demanding people dance attendance on her. This teenager needs help, and needs it now. The root cause must be found, and addressed. If that doesn't happen then she is going to keep harming herself.
The question is:what's making her so miserable that she is self harming. Most people who self harm don't do it for attention.
Load More Replies... This could be the wake up call the girl needs to realise that she can't continue to live her life as she has been doing. On the other hand this could be attention seeking behaviour as she knows she will get one on one time with her mum while in hospital. I don't blame the mum for reaching the end of her tether, it's hard enough being a parent to a teenager who doesn't have other health conditions to deal with. Therapy is definitely a good idea but it could just be that the daughter is bloody minded and will do whatever she wants regardless of the consequences.
In German it’s called „Krankheitsgewinn“ maybe someone can translate? Means she learned if she’s sick she’s getting a lot of attention. So absolutely NTA but best OP could do!
The literal translation is sickness-profit. There's not an English word for that as far as I know. But basically, that term means that the person is getting something from being sick.
Load More Replies... My Son is 8. He can't eat some foods be because of allergies. Everything with hazelnut will make him itchy in his throat and he will thro up. But he knows how bad he would feel. So when he doesn't know whats in some food he asks or he reads the ingredients. He knows very well that he shouldn't eat that. And he us avoiding everything thst would make him miserable. A 16 year old should know better.
Which is why this is so weird. There's something else going on here. The both need counseling.
Load More Replies... First, the daughter should be tested for fructose malabsorption - every food or snack listed as a trigger item is loaded with fructose and her safe foods sound like items allowed on a low fodmap diet. Second, the daughter should be made to contribute money or labor towards the portion of the hospital bill that is not covered by insurance. I'm assuming this family is in the US, where Healthcare and ER services are not free. Also, should the daughter find herself uninsured in a few years, this behavior could potentially lead to financial ruin for her. Lastly, for everyone saying she's self harming or has deep psychological problems, I would say think about it. She's 16, sees her friends and family eating this stuff and is probably frustrated that she can't enjoy having the delicious treats too. She probably gets away with it once in awhile without a severe reaction, so then it becomes Russian Food Roulette for her.
This kid's priorities are messed up. Cheetos are good, but I want to see the magical Christmas Cheetos that are worth all of this. But whatever, it was a choice. But hopefully her mom can sit with her this week and explain how choices work: she chose to do this in front of a house full of guests, and then wanted her mom to stay at the ER with her all night, instead of at their house with all of the guests. Mom's choice was Christmas, with egg nog, slippers, and family, and the daughter's choice was a hospital bed, an IV, bedpans, and frequent vitals checks so sleep won't really be a thing. I mean, I remember teaching my kid about choices when she was like 4, like who is in charge of who's decisions, but hey, maybe she needs a refresher course. It really does make me wonder how she expects to move out on her own or go to college or something. Is she going to call her mom drunk from the bar after eating an order of onion rings even though she knew? Or expect a roommate to deal with that?
Mother and daughter both need therapy. If my kid had an eating disorder or allergy I wouldn't bring those foods home. point blank. Sad story.
OK so if she did it for attention, what's going on that she feels she needs to do that for attention ?and if she did then she has a mental illness,can't belive the amount of people here slamming her for that,shame on you guys.Also if the family she lacks control over not eating what's bad for her,why have it there on Christmas day,surely the other family members etc could survive without it for a day.Either way she needs medical advise and counseling and by the sounds of it a whole lot of love .I doubt she would make herself sick and hospitalized just for the hell of it,and again if she does ..why?mental health issue here .Poor girl ,stop slamming her for an either physical or mental illness.The mother is totally in the wrong here
I'm going with ESH. Reading what she she is not able to eat just did not sit well with me. It was totally generic. Cheetos, chips, carbonted beverages, and sweets? It doesn't seem like they have done a food diary or seen a decent allergist/immunologist. I do my very best not to project but I can name 2 ingredients in all those foods right off the top of my head that could be the culprit. Also, I've learned that just "avoiding" is not always the end all be all of the situation. A lot of people have different issues with foods these days. There are an awful lot of substitutions that don't have people's "bad ingredients" in them. It is up to the parents to help their children figure these things out. Oh, but that takes actual work. You know, as opposed to just letting the joys of life be sucked out of a kids life and abandoning them in the hospital to tEaCh ThEM a LeSsOn.
This "vomiting" that needs ER access and few days in hospital seems quite strange to me.
I think you’re thinking of a single episode of vomit rather than a more several day episode- probably needed fluids by iv if she couldn’t keep anything down orally, possibly hardcore anti nausea drugs and iv nutrition.
Load More Replies... Anne she has an eating disorder and eating the foods that taste great that make her throw up after is better than nit eating at all or making herself throw up or taking laxatives. I'd say mom's nit the AH but she definitely needs to look at finding someone for her daughter can talk to since she's being destructive to herself .
I'm not totally against tough love if you have really tried everything else, but what ever is happening here a hospital choose to keep the child in for 3 days over Christmas. Sounds quite serious so I think the child needed her mum. What confuses me here is the rest of the family. How come they all criticised the mum rather than go to the hospital? I spent Christmas in hospital when I was 16, my mum was working - she was a nurse so could be with me at a moment's notice and I slept through most of it. My sister and dad took shifts though in case I woke up. A few times I've been in hospital, this was always the case. One time I needed surgery day before we were meant to fly to my sister's wedding. Although my dad sobbed, my mum understood my insistence as soon as they knew the surgery went well, I needed them to go. Still, aunties and family friends were there for me (and I was in my mid 20's). Where are the rest of this poor girls family?
Both of you are AH?! Yes, she is old enough to understand that there will be consequences. But! It is so hard to look at others shoveling junk food and you can only look. She already have unhealty relationship with food as she is refering to eat junkfood to live a little. There are other ways to have fun really.. you should explore it together. You should support her and eat same (and only) dishes which she is able to eat to not keep her tempted. Maybe one day without visit was okay, to let her think and cry a little. But you all are responsible for what happened.
Daughter's situation -- 1. 16, not fully mature and therefore capable of making stupid choices often. It comes with being 16. 2. Peer pressure. It *sucks* to be the odd one out who can't do what everyone else is doing. 3. Depression is likely a factor here. Depression from both the condition itself and being denied things everyone else can enjoy. ---- When my sister was diagnosed diabetic at age 40, it depressed her so deeply she lost her job and stayed at home for almost a year. Her life already had multiple stresses that made her miserable, and that was just one thing too much. During that year, she did not keep to a diabetic diet, no matter how much we begged her. Her response was always: "I'd rather die from the diabetes than eat that diet. My life is miserable enough already, and now I can't even eat what I enjoy? Life's not worth living anymore, then. So I'll eat what I want, for momentary happiness. F the future."
And that may be exactly what's happening with this girl, especially in light of her comment about "Christmas is once a year and I want to live a little". The food brings her momentary happiness that is worth the physical pain she knows will come later, because she's *already* in emotional pain. She needs a psychologist, a nutritionist, and a supportive network, not "tough love" and abandonment. Emotional issues like this just don't go away because you browbeat the person into compliance. And being hospitalized didn't change my sister. Therapy *did*. That and our support to ease her other stresses and pain made eating the forbidden foods less important. The food wasn't her only source of brief happiness anymore.
Load More Replies... IDK about this one. 16 year olds are still children, and their young brains are still developing. They are still learning how to handle their own bodies and minds,etc...which takes about 20+ years for many of us. I just wonder why all those dangerous food items were even there at the Christmas table. I mean isn't that like putting booze in front of an alcoholic and teasing them with, "well, it's up to you to choose whether or not to drink!" If something is bad for a family member's health, you should just keep it out of the house. . . . I mean like I have food allergies that could kill me or put me in the hospital. So we just don't even bring those items into our home. Why tempt fate? So that's why I kind of wonder why those foods were even present at all in the first place.
Also, as some of the other comments mentioned, why haven't the parents learned about alternative versions of the foods that make their daughter sick? If they had learned how to make fruit sweetened treats, etc. when she was little she would already be cooking them for herself by now and experimenting with her own recipes. When a child has a medical condition like this it may be inconvenient but the whole family has to be involved in helping to manage it.
Load More Replies... ESH. While I understand where the mom was coming from, it’s still majorly effed up to not visit her once. The daughter also needs help.
I would say that at 16, she's old enough to know that there consequences. But I think there's bigger problem than just "she can't stop eating food that make her sick". Definitely get help. She might have eating disorder or some mental health problems.
I would suggest looking at the gallbladder - gallbladder problems aren't common at her age, but if it hasn't been checked out thoroughly, it really should be. I had my gallbladder removed at 16, and this description of trigger foods reminds me very my of my own symptoms after the surgery. It could be a sign that her gallbladder isn't working properly, and there are medications that can replace the function and make fat easier to digest.
Okay. I'm not going to say who the AH is, but instead address these things. Before I do that, I'm speaking from my experience with GERD (acid reflux) and Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. I've had acid reflux since I was 14, and only got the other diagnosis recently. On to my list: 1. OP has to do more for her daughter, but they need family therapy to help that. 2. When I say that OP has to do more, I mean that she needs to make it a team effort. Don't just try to manage the situation by herself. 3. OP needs to look for a pediatric gastroenterologist. Yes, those are hard to find, but they can help with more medical testing. I also hope that OP is taking her daughter to the dentist on a regular basis. I'm not familiar with EDs, but I think that the daughter has one that's not being addressed. As someone on the post said, that does continual damage to her organs and teeth. From my experience, I had to go to the dentist frequently in my teens to make sure my teeth were okay.
I'm not trying to be an ãsshole with my opinions and experience. The daughter needs help because as a couple of Redditors pointed out, she's self-harming.
Load More Replies... Was the daughter told that if she got sick her mom wouldn't visit her? If not that's really s****y. If she knew beforehand that'd be one thing because then she's making that choice. If her expectation is that her mom is going to be there for her and that changes without warning, that's going to cause her a ton of emotional distress. This is not an acceptable way to punish your child, it's bordering on psychologic abuse.
I am wondering if they give her pain meds in the hospital. They very likely are. This MAY be a way for her to get her fix. I have been there. The OP may want to check on it.it is very easy to get used to that high and do what you need to do to get it.
Really? Someone down voted me? Opiate addiction from ER visits is a real thing.
Load More Replies... YTA in so many ways. You put a bunch of snacks in sweets on the table in front of a kid alfor everyone to eat except her? Wft.
I've been in the daughter's shoes but instead of throwing up, my a*s would basically explode. I learned how to modify my diet and sometimes, it's worth the pain later. That being said, this way to the extreme and I'm with the others who think she needs some professional psychological help. I get the mom's side of it too. She has 2 more years where she can make her kid get some help. It's almost impossible to force an adult to get a mental evaluation let alone any type of therapy
Of course NTA, I honestly don't even see what's to discuss here. At 16 you should know better.
Esh. It sounds like she has a really unhealthy relationship with food. As someone with IBS/D I don't even crave the foods that make me sick because my brain/body associates those foods with the bad consequences of eating them. I'm surprised to hear she is willing to experience the horrible repercussions for something as simple as "taste good", which is why I'm inclined to believe there is some sort of psychological issue going on here. She needs to go into therapy and get help for whatever issue is at play here, which is why mom is kind of an AH. it is a parent's responsibility to get their kid this kind of help. On a side note, I'm not a doctor, but I'm surprised there isn't a diagnoses. This sounds like pretty textbook IBD (chron's disease).
Absolutely. I also have ibs and the foods that cause problems cause physical disgust just by smelling them. I also have allergies and sensitivities and severe stomach pain or vomiting keep me away from what I can't eat. Usually. Christmas is once a year and I ate some seitan even though my stomach doesn't like it. So with that in mind, I have a little understanding for this teenager. But otherwise, this is a pretty harsh example of what self-harm can be. Just the thought hurts my stomach. Fortunately, she receives treatment in the hospital because strong and continuous diarrhea/vomiting causes, for example, potassium deficiency, and from experience I can say that it is dangerous.
Load More Replies... I wonder some things: 1) Why go to ER for a (somewhat familiar and controlled) flare up from food? 2) Is she doing this for attention/likes (does she post this on socials?) Control issues? 3) Make her pay for (part of) the bills if there are any. 4) DO keep supporting her.
Because you have to rule out medical emergencies. It is probably another vomiting episode like the ones before it with the same unknown cause, but you don’t want to automatically assume that it is. It could also be something potentially life threatening. The hospital is just playing it safe. Also throwing up for that long could lead to dehydration requiring IV fluids to correct.
Load More Replies... Good lord yes you are!!! What she needs is your help and you abandoned her. Illnesses as a teenager especially the ones that other people can notice are difficult and challenging to a teens psyche. It no different if your child was diabetic and ate candy knowing there not spouse to have it. Personally if I was her doctor I would call CPS on you. Hope you had a relaxing Christmas though
I'm in the middle with this. No your NTA because Hard Head make a soft a$$. Yes you ATA because as a mother despite what's going on my child will never be alone in the hospital by herself.
Mine would. Especially when they are repeatedly doing stupid stuff, that they know will end up with them in the hospital. Who has time to be at the hospital multiple times a month?
Load More Replies... YTA for putting all these foods out in front of her at Christmas. Wtf is wrong with you??
I agree with the pot panda. I think it’s time to take your daughter to a psychiatrist. What she’s doing could be described as bulima. No one who is fully aware that a certain food will make them vomit, continually eats it. Besides the fact that all that stomach acid will destroy her teeth & damage her oesophagus . It’s Not healthy, physically or emotionally for her to be eating things she Knows are bad for her to the point that she is vomiting uncontrollably & ending up in the ER on a regular basis. If the Doctors have ruled out a physical cause then perhaps it’s time to search for a psychological one.
I’ve gotta go with NTA, but the mom is an idiot for not getting her counseling, and the daughter is either stupid as hell or has an eating disorder
I almost never say this, but no one is the a*****e here. Both mom and daughter are absolutely sick(no pun intended) of this recurring issue and it doesn't help that docs haven't given them a straight answer or sent them to the right people who could help in this situation. I get where the mom is coming from due to the medical bill cost and the fact that daughter has had years to learn that she can't eat stuff like this but in the same breath the daughter is tired of being limited to "safe" foods when everyone around her can eat junk foods without care or consequences and has also learned that her medically mandated diet restrictions are limiting her ability to blend in with her peers at school,which depending on how the social currents in her school are running,can lead either to her being left alone to the point of total social isolation or being an open target for every bully in the school and both extremes each carry a very high risk of self harming behaviors. BOTH mother and daughter need therapy and the help of doctors who specialize in Nutritional and/or gastrointestinal medicine and get to the bottom of the daughter's medical issues BEFORE the girl winds up in a catastrophic situation.
NTA. I couldn't help thinking, that your daughter eats herself into the hospital on purpose to get you to come and "be with her". Does she have trouble with getting you alone at other times?
I have rheumatoid arthritis and migraines both have trigger foods granted I still eat chocolate even though I know I'll limp for a few days but I accept that and own it, I don't expect help or sympathy. The daughter needs to learn to accept her situation.
I'm going to go with YTA... while this may be medical (like a gallbladder issue for instance), it could also be psychological... she is a child crying out to you for help and you are choosing to ignore her, which doesn't sound like the 1st time! You seem to have painted yourself in a rosy light nonetheless, in addition to putting these foods out in front of her. Something in my gut tells me you may be the problem, and have stressed this poor kid to the point of an anxiety, eating, or personality disorder. She is a child still!!! You are frustrated i understand, but still a cold hearted mother. You both need therapy.
I feel like there has to be some information missing here. I'm a chronic illness patient who's had at least 300 ER visits by now, and I've never heard of someone being admitted to the hospital for multiple days because they were vomiting a lot for several hours. If she needs IV hydration, they'd have her rehydrated and ready for discharge within less than 24 hours. What is hapoening for this teen that she's in the hospital for days at a time? Are there dangerous complications, other symptoms not mentioned...? My heart goes out to that kid knowing she must feel out of control and scared and that doctors have not been able to define or treat her issue.
As someone with a digestive order that ends up in the ER almost annually with complications(even when I'm eating clean), the day will come when she'll have to do it all on her own. Drive herself to the ER, check herself in, wait on the room all alone, pay the co-pay, ask the doctor for a non-narc pain reliever so she can drive herself home, drive to the pharmacy, take care of herself in the days that follow.... It's not easy. It's very frustrating. It can feel lonely at times. It's scary. But it's a reality. If you're reading this, I strongly encourage you to look into Low-FODMAP.
I have diabetes type 2. As my doctor has said, myy diet consists mostly of rabbit food: no animal fats, no red meat, no sugar or honey, no white potatoes, rice or noodles... etc. I am limited to 45 cabohydrates per meal, and a snack of 15 carbs. My husband does not share my diet with me, and he does not cook for me. I strongly believe this mom should be cooking for her daughter. Here are the titles of some cookbooks that have delicious food recipes. Diabetic Living Eat Smart Lose Weight Your guide to cooking healthy & feeling good,Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston New York 2018; The Big Book of Healthy Smothies and Juices, Aadamsmedia, Avon Massachusetts 2014; and What's Cooking Low Fat, by Kathryn Hawkins. The Diabeties diet, is just a healthy food diet. I am an older woman, and I get 'Diabetic sick' with more foods than when, I 1st got the disease. Diabeties kills, so I must be careful. I demand foods I can eat, and to make desserts. I play with my phone at meals!!!
I'm really torn over this one ... anyone who has ever had some sort of digestive system disorder (I'm talking to the point of surgery), just would NOT eat something that would bring on a major problem and hospital stay. If this girl is knowingly doing this, there's more at play here than choosing improper foods. There is something seriously wrong, and it requires more than the mother/parents saying "she knows better than to eat the trigger foods ..."
Definitely NTA. I'm so sick of ppl making excuses for kids this old, waving it off as "kids being kids" instead of holding them accountable. She's old enough to drive, so she's old enough to make this decision and bare the consequences. This isn't something that came on recently, she's had years to get used to it. I get that it sucks but that's life. She's had plenty of time to grow the eff up and be responsible. Can you imagine how infuriating it would be to have a 10 yo do something this dumb when they fully know better? So there is zero excuse for 16yo. The mom hit her limit and I don't blame her one little bit.
To a point I get the mother. When you've had enough of your child's behaviour, you've had enough. However, she is still a child and it was Xmas...
And also, she must have been very unwell to warrant a hospital stay. They don't let you take a bed for small reasons
Load More Replies... The first time you were able and you had to do something about the situation you had in your mind was to do it
I enjoy drinking alcohol but if I drank alcohol to the point where I would throw up EVERY SINGLE TIME, wouldn't you all agree that I have a huge problem? That girl is making herself sick on purpose (not necessarily because she wants to), get her to a therapist like years ago! Figuring out her allergies is one thing, but that girl has been self-harming for a long time
For sure she needs better medical help to find out what this is. But that's not the issue here, is it? She won't take it seriously enough, even time in hospital won't make her stop. If upsetting her by leaving her alone on Christmas actually works then it may just be worth it..
She likely has a food intolerance/sensitivity if the reaction is delayed/ not immediate. If the food is consumed regularly then this is easily solved with an IgG blood test and brief period of total elimination of the trigger foods.
Gall bladder or pancreatic inflammation. She needs a longer course of anti-biotics. Vomiting will make the inflammation worse.
ESH. The daughter sucks the most, and she deserves to feel the consequences of her actions. But a mom is still a mom and she should still be there for her daughter and it sucks that she’s not doing more to support her kid.
Hmmm I would say both are AH. She is 16yo, she is old enough to understand consequences. But! It is really hard to see others shoveling junky food which you like and not eat any yourself. You should support her and try celebrate with healty food for everyone and get rid of tempting ones. From the list is sounds it is mostly junk anyway. She wants to "live a little" with junk food... that's really unhealthy way to comfort yourself.. it shouldn't be tight to food, there is many other ways to have fun.
NTA, but they have made the mistake to take responsibility for their daughter's illness. That's why she will sneak out and eat the forbidden food. I have seen it happen with a man in his sixties who was diagnosed with diabetes. His wife immediately took charge of his diet, which is why he would sneak out to eat ice cream every chance he got.
NTA, the daughter has been in the hospital a lot of times because she chose to eat this way. The daughter needs to get her c**p together.
Like many of the commenters said, would you have the same reaction if it was any other form of self-harm? A very high proportion of modern teenage girls self-harm, it's not about "getting her c**p together".
Load More Replies... She sounds like an attention seeker. Does this for the "send love an prayers" social media people. Eventually she will be 18 and hope she gets a job with good ins to pay those hpt bills. A $2 bag of chips isn't worth $50,000 in debt. Maybe show her how much she's cost you ignoring her allergies and start billing her for it.
Food allergies are not an LGTBQ issue. Calm down and put the political protest sign away.
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