Trans Daughter In Serious Debt, Expects Parents To Take Burden Of $40K Surgery, They Say No

Everyone wants to live a life where they can be the best version of themselves and be true to who they are. These aspirations are often stronger for transgender people whose gender identity does not match their physical body, which is why some of them might want to undergo surgery.

The trans woman in this story wanted that as well, and told her parents she would cover the costs herself. Unfortunately, after a few years, she suddenly demanded that they cover the surgery expenses as she had racked up a huge debt.

More info: Reddit

Gender affirming surgery can have a huge impact on a transgender person’s mental health, but it might also be inaccessible for many due to the high costs

Young woman with glasses posing confidently with a trans pride flag, symbolizing daughter money and surgeries topics.

Image credits: wirestock_creators / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster shared that when his eldest child came out as transgender, she stated that she would cover the cost of her transition on her own

Text excerpt about parents considering daughter money for surgeries, discussing finances and support for transgender transition.

Text discussing a daughter managing money independently after school, working, and having considerable savings.

Parent discussing money saved for daughter’s surgeries to help reduce future medical costs and insurance coverage.

Middle-aged couple looking at a laptop and holding a credit card, discussing daughter money surgeries online.

Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster and his wife secretly saved up $4k for their daughter’s surgery costs; meanwhile, it seemed like their kid was excessively spending her own money

Text excerpt about a daughter’s money habits and mentions of surgeries, lifestyle, and social media posts.

Text excerpt discussing daughter’s money sources for trips, including saved funds and boyfriend’s financial help.

Text discussing daughter ready to schedule surgeries with insurance covering some but not all cosmetic procedures.

Young woman and man relaxing by the poolside, discussing daughter money surgeries while enjoying a cocktail on a sunny day.

Image credits: standret / Freepik (not the actual photo)

After a few years, the daughter told her parents she was ready to start her transition surgeries, but she wanted them to pay for everything not covered by insurance

Text displaying a quote about a daughter wanting others to pay for money and surgeries costs.

Text discussing daughter needing over $40,000 for surgeries and living expenses due to recovery, exceeding money set aside.

Text excerpt discussing daughter money surgeries, debt, savings, credit cards, and high cost of living challenges.

Man and woman sitting back to back on bed looking upset, reflecting tension over daughter money for surgeries decisions.

Image credits: zinkevych / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The poster and his wife were shocked when they learned that their daughter was in debt and expected them to shell out $40k for her cosmetic surgeries

Text about daughter demanding money for surgeries, crying and insisting on $40 grand to feel like a real woman.

Text about daughter demanding full amount of money for surgeries, causing family conflict and argument.

Text discussing considering a second job to support daughter’s money needs and potential surgeries at a life crossroads.

Text excerpt discussing a parent’s decision to address daughter money surgeries by talking and finding a solution together.

Image credits: beerbellyisdadbod

The poster wondered if he should get a second job to help his daughter out, but his wife didn’t want to give in to their daughter’s selfish demands

When the OP and his wife learned that their daughter was transgender, they decided to help her out with her transition in any way they could. At that time, she had taken charge of the situation by contacting a therapist, speaking to her insurance company, and even checking in with a doctor about starting hormone replacement therapy.

Even though the daughter must have felt in control of things, what she probably didn’t know is that health insurance doesn’t cover all of the expenses required for gender affirming surgery. That means transgender individuals often have to pay money out of their pocket to get the care and treatment that they need.

The daughter had certainly taken responsibility for covering her costs, but once she moved to another city, she began splurging on expensive trips. When her parents questioned her about her spending, she tried to explain it away by saying that her boyfriend was helping her pay for it.

Her parents definitely noticed that she was living beyond her means, but they didn’t know how much of a financial hole she had dug herself into. According to experts, it’s important to confront these irresponsible money behaviors early on, or else it can put a person in a lot of debt as they try to play catch-up with their expenses.

Person wearing a red top and jeans holding a transgender pride flag representing daughter money surgeries and support.

Image credits: Marcela Ruty Romero / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The OP and his wife got a huge shock when their daughter came home for his 50th birthday and demanded they pay for her surgery costs. She told them that her insurance was not covering the cosmetic procedures and that all of the things she wanted would amount to $40k, which she didn’t have.

Even though the woman’s parents were flabbergasted, their initial thought was to help her out with her expenses as much as possible. Financial experts state that when people enable their loved ones’ bad money habits, it will end up keeping them in the same cycle of dependency and never teach them how to form better systems.

That’s why the poster’s wife decided to take a stand against her daughter and called out the 24-year-old for being selfish. The OP, on the other hand, who was very worried about his daughter, wondered if he should take up a second job to help her with all of her expenses.

Even though it might be tough for parents to let their kids forge their own path, especially in situations like this, it’s very important for them to draw financial boundaries early on. Doing so will help the individual make their own mistakes and learn what to do better the next time, instead of having everything taken care of automatically. Hopefully, the poster understands that and takes a step back.

How do you think the OP and his wife should handle their daughter’s demands? Let us know your honest thoughts down below.

Most folks felt that since the poster’s daughter is an adult, she should take financial responsibility and majorly cover the cost of her surgeries 

Reddit user discusses helping daughter with money, surgeries, and concerns over poor financial decisions and discipline.

Reddit users discuss daughter money surgeries and the importance of counseling or support groups for her well-being.

Comment discussing concerns about daughter’s money management and financial responsibility regarding surgeries.

Comment discussing daughter spending money irresponsibly, affecting priorities and finances related to surgeries.

Comment discussing daughter’s money struggles related to surgeries, emphasizing financial limits and expectations.

Comment discussing a daughter demanding money for surgeries and not wanting to get a second job to pay her own way.

Comment discussing daughter money responsibilities and surgeries, emphasizing financial accountability and planning for future needs.

Reddit comment discussing daughter money surgeries and the challenges of paying for expensive medical procedures.

Reddit comment advising against paying for daughter's surgeries, emphasizing financial responsibility and family support.

Comment discussing daughter money overspending and caution about paying for surgeries amid family financial priorities.

Comment about saving money for daughter’s surgeries, suggesting working longer to afford the costs and save up together.

Comment discussing a daughter expecting money for unnecessary surgeries, calling it an unreasonable demand.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!