Teen Is Asked To Look After Little Sister While Mom Rushes Son To The ER, She Leaves Her At A Stranger’s House Instead
A single mother of three is seeking support on Reddit’s ‘Am I the [Jerk]?’ community after an argument with her eldest daughter, Polly. The woman had to take her son, Trevor, to the ER and asked Polly to watch her younger sister, Cassie.
However, the teenager ultimately decided to place the burden on someone else and go out to blow off steam instead. The mother was furious upon discovering what had happened and the two of them quickly got into a fight.
This single mom is trying to raise three kids
Image credits: Elina Fairytale (not the actual photo)
And she wants her oldest daughter to commit more to the family, but the teen is having none of it
Image credits: Lisa Fotios (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: dratonallthings
Judging from the post, it doesn’t sound that the mom and her teen are understanding each other
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual photo)
Sadly, this post is an example of a broader problem. A 2019 Pew Research Center study of 130 countries and territories revealed that the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households.
Almost a quarter of U.S. children under the age of 18 live with one parent and no other adults (23%), more than three times the share of children around the world who do so (7%). Interestingly, the study, which also looked at how people’s living arrangements differ by religion, found that U.S. children from Christian and religiously unaffiliated families are about equally likely to live in this type of arrangement.
For comparison, 3% of children in China, 4% of children in Nigeria, and 15% of children in neighboring Canada live in single-parent households.
But family conflicts with a teenager growing up are nothing out of the ordinary
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
While it’s difficult to give Polly a pass for her behavior, we can’t forget that the teen years pose some of the most difficult challenges. Dealing with hormonal changes and an ever-complex world might make you think that no one can understand your feelings. Especially parents. As a result, teens can find themselves angry, alone, and confused in the face of complicated issues about identity, peers, sexual behavior, drinking, and drugs.
Parents are also often frustrated and angry that the teen seems to no longer respect their authority. Methods of discipline that worked well in earlier years may no longer have an effect, and parents may feel frightened and helpless about the choices their teen is making.
The teen years are ripe for producing conflict in the family. Let’s hope this one finds a solution for theirs.
As the story went viral, its author provided more details
People have been having strong reactions to the family drama
There's a bigger concern than payment, grounding etc., and that's Polly's LACK of concern for her sister's safety. She needs a serious discussion about how dangerous that could have been.
That's my concern too. I'd seriously have her in therapy. This level of self-centeredness is really concerning. I'd be worried that only punishment wouldn't get at the root of this problem. Which was just an extreme lack of concern for anybody but herself. Didn't care about mom, the neighbor, brother, or sister. Did not stop to consider how she was affecting a single one of these people. That needs some looking into.
Totally agree. OP should take her daughter to therapy. There's some underlying feelings there that are not being addressed. Punishments alone would probably just make it worse cause the kid won't feel safe to express how she feels.
What's also get to me is her worrying lack of empathy toward her baby brother. "he could have die" - > "not my problem"? There's something more than resentment issue at work here and it should be addressed asap.
More than a discussion is needed. This is not normal!
And her lack of concern for a sibling "she was close to". This is all kinds of wrong. Polly needs an intensive course in being a responsible sister/ member of a family. Her hanging with friends until she smartens up needs to go.
Loads of commenters here have made incredibly valid points - and I wholeheartedly agree. This mother seems wonderful, making sure her daughter is able to enjoy her childhood. However, I feel so sorry for the Mum because if there's another emergency she's not going to feel like she can trust her nearly adult daughter even. She has no-one. That's a really s****y position to be in
And it's always on the mom while a*****e father just gets to walk s away when it gets too hard. Every. Freaking. Time.
Well it usually is the mom who stays and nurtures their children but there is no indication of why Cassie's father bailed. As strong as mom sounds she could be making poor choices with men..Just my thought. Hopefully you can't relate to father's bailing on their children and have all the support from them that you need.
I can relate to father's bailing on their children, and I see it everyday around me. Even your comment throws the blame at the woman when even if she did make"poor choices" that didn't mean that that man gets to walk away from his duties. Maybe we should stayy placing the blame of these single parent families where the blame is due, on the missing parent. Not on the one doing their best
Not sure what the mom did wrong in raising her firstborn, but that girl is going to get a serious reality check. Because OF COURSE we have to change our plans inn family emergencies. Over and over, for the rest of our lives. And, no, kids don't get paid for doing family chores. There are some things that are just our duty to do and chores are one way of learning that. That girl better gets some more feedback on her selfishness or she is in for some terrible life lessons.
.... Might not be an education flaws.... I dread to throw the word but..... That total absence of empathy toward a sick baby?........... That smells sociopathy to me
Hmm....teenage brains go through a lot on puberty and they can show psychophrenic or sociopathic patterns for a while. I wouldn't label someone a sociopath just because they are a++holes as teenagers. But reagrdless of lack of empathy and selfishness - the mom said No. That is a clear boundary that the daughter overstepped.
I don't think the daughter is in the wright but I do want to clarify the sick child was 12 and it's possible the daughter thought OP was overreacting I definitely wouldn't throw out the term sociopath
.... and so far she's been able to hide it? Maybe....
It's be psychopath, not sociopath. Daughter doesn't care about anyone. Sociopaths care about some people. Psychopaths act like they care to use people. Odds are the relationship she had with her brother was fake to use him, that's why we don't see her mom saying she was worried about him at all and willing to actually be a decent person and help out.
This comment has been deleted.
Ok but the Mom said Don't take kid to neighbors we don't know them..what she did ? Exactly! That kid need to learn about to responsibilities and quickly to..
Maybe she didn't know how serious it is? If she did she probably would've stayed
The mom had to take baby to the ER. Not the doctor, the ER. My big sis and I would have been worried sick if it had been our baby sister. The sole fact that she doesn't realize and don't even wonder is worrying.
I mean speak for yourself my sister probably didn't give a c**p when I went to the ER, I mean to be fair it was basically normal then but still; Edit: By normal I mean my asthma and other health issues were TERRIBLE then so I went a lot
Probably? So you don't know for sure if she cared or not? Ask her then let us know. ER visit for your asthma may be normal but there are many who have died from such attacks. Don't make your sister an a**h**** too.
Hogwash. She was charged with looking after her 8 yo sister, yet she left her with complete strangers so she could go party with friends. Not OK in any universe.
HOSPITAL SERIOUS. That's more than enough info for her to understand how serious it was!
OK JEEZ CHILL OUT
You can't always blame the parents. There are so many factors that can cause this.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I know that people come into this world with a personality. And sometimes parents do not have an influence on that. But still: this extreme kind of selfishness and lack of empathy, awareness and love for her siblings is worrysome. If it's not that the mom failed to install love and a sense responsibility then what is the reason? The kid was born a sociopath?
I doubt that, children's frontal lobe is not fully formed until their early twenties. That is the part that controls executive function like decision making, consequence, and impulse control. Is she stupid and selfish yes, sociopath? No.
If she doesn't get professional help, then people could get really hurt in the future.
This comment has been deleted.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Your child is not free babysitting. Outside of emergencies pay them or don't expect work
This qualifies as an emergency.
There's a bigger concern than payment, grounding etc., and that's Polly's LACK of concern for her sister's safety. She needs a serious discussion about how dangerous that could have been.
That's my concern too. I'd seriously have her in therapy. This level of self-centeredness is really concerning. I'd be worried that only punishment wouldn't get at the root of this problem. Which was just an extreme lack of concern for anybody but herself. Didn't care about mom, the neighbor, brother, or sister. Did not stop to consider how she was affecting a single one of these people. That needs some looking into.
Totally agree. OP should take her daughter to therapy. There's some underlying feelings there that are not being addressed. Punishments alone would probably just make it worse cause the kid won't feel safe to express how she feels.
What's also get to me is her worrying lack of empathy toward her baby brother. "he could have die" - > "not my problem"? There's something more than resentment issue at work here and it should be addressed asap.
More than a discussion is needed. This is not normal!
And her lack of concern for a sibling "she was close to". This is all kinds of wrong. Polly needs an intensive course in being a responsible sister/ member of a family. Her hanging with friends until she smartens up needs to go.
Loads of commenters here have made incredibly valid points - and I wholeheartedly agree. This mother seems wonderful, making sure her daughter is able to enjoy her childhood. However, I feel so sorry for the Mum because if there's another emergency she's not going to feel like she can trust her nearly adult daughter even. She has no-one. That's a really s****y position to be in
And it's always on the mom while a*****e father just gets to walk s away when it gets too hard. Every. Freaking. Time.
Well it usually is the mom who stays and nurtures their children but there is no indication of why Cassie's father bailed. As strong as mom sounds she could be making poor choices with men..Just my thought. Hopefully you can't relate to father's bailing on their children and have all the support from them that you need.
I can relate to father's bailing on their children, and I see it everyday around me. Even your comment throws the blame at the woman when even if she did make"poor choices" that didn't mean that that man gets to walk away from his duties. Maybe we should stayy placing the blame of these single parent families where the blame is due, on the missing parent. Not on the one doing their best
Not sure what the mom did wrong in raising her firstborn, but that girl is going to get a serious reality check. Because OF COURSE we have to change our plans inn family emergencies. Over and over, for the rest of our lives. And, no, kids don't get paid for doing family chores. There are some things that are just our duty to do and chores are one way of learning that. That girl better gets some more feedback on her selfishness or she is in for some terrible life lessons.
.... Might not be an education flaws.... I dread to throw the word but..... That total absence of empathy toward a sick baby?........... That smells sociopathy to me
Hmm....teenage brains go through a lot on puberty and they can show psychophrenic or sociopathic patterns for a while. I wouldn't label someone a sociopath just because they are a++holes as teenagers. But reagrdless of lack of empathy and selfishness - the mom said No. That is a clear boundary that the daughter overstepped.
I don't think the daughter is in the wright but I do want to clarify the sick child was 12 and it's possible the daughter thought OP was overreacting I definitely wouldn't throw out the term sociopath
.... and so far she's been able to hide it? Maybe....
It's be psychopath, not sociopath. Daughter doesn't care about anyone. Sociopaths care about some people. Psychopaths act like they care to use people. Odds are the relationship she had with her brother was fake to use him, that's why we don't see her mom saying she was worried about him at all and willing to actually be a decent person and help out.
This comment has been deleted.
Ok but the Mom said Don't take kid to neighbors we don't know them..what she did ? Exactly! That kid need to learn about to responsibilities and quickly to..
Maybe she didn't know how serious it is? If she did she probably would've stayed
The mom had to take baby to the ER. Not the doctor, the ER. My big sis and I would have been worried sick if it had been our baby sister. The sole fact that she doesn't realize and don't even wonder is worrying.
I mean speak for yourself my sister probably didn't give a c**p when I went to the ER, I mean to be fair it was basically normal then but still; Edit: By normal I mean my asthma and other health issues were TERRIBLE then so I went a lot
Probably? So you don't know for sure if she cared or not? Ask her then let us know. ER visit for your asthma may be normal but there are many who have died from such attacks. Don't make your sister an a**h**** too.
Hogwash. She was charged with looking after her 8 yo sister, yet she left her with complete strangers so she could go party with friends. Not OK in any universe.
HOSPITAL SERIOUS. That's more than enough info for her to understand how serious it was!
OK JEEZ CHILL OUT
You can't always blame the parents. There are so many factors that can cause this.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I know that people come into this world with a personality. And sometimes parents do not have an influence on that. But still: this extreme kind of selfishness and lack of empathy, awareness and love for her siblings is worrysome. If it's not that the mom failed to install love and a sense responsibility then what is the reason? The kid was born a sociopath?
I doubt that, children's frontal lobe is not fully formed until their early twenties. That is the part that controls executive function like decision making, consequence, and impulse control. Is she stupid and selfish yes, sociopath? No.
If she doesn't get professional help, then people could get really hurt in the future.
This comment has been deleted.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Your child is not free babysitting. Outside of emergencies pay them or don't expect work
This qualifies as an emergency.