“She Feels Betrayed And Angry”: Teen Threw A Fit After Her Parents Let Her Stay Home From Their Disney World Trip
Being a teenager is tough; all those overbearing emotions and unwanted anxieties. It feels like only yesterday you were running around unbothered, without a single negative thought clouding your mind – yet suddenly, it began to feel like the entire world had turned its back on you.
Parents are told to beware of all the sleepless nights their newborns will bring upon them, but the most tiring time comes when your kid enters that adolescent stage. Temper tantrums, heated arguments and constant misunderstandings might be frequent guests in your household, and it’s in your best interest to find a way to strengthen that slowly escaping bond.
More info: Reddit
Understanding teenage phases is never easy, but sometimes your offspring does something truly baffling
Image credits: HarshLight
This online user took it to one of Reddit’s well-known communities to reveal a story about his teenage daughter’s emotional outburst concerning their long-awaited family trip to Disney World. The post received over 6.8K upvotes, as well as 762 comments discussing this rather challenging situation.
Father wonders if he was wrong for letting his teen skip their family trip after she emotionally lashed out at him for not convincing her to go
Image credits: u/Fun_Talk3027
Naturally, you want all the best for your kid. You want to be the best parent that supports and guides them no matter what, you want to give them a life with no worries and troubles – but you’ve also got to be prepared for the emotional rollercoaster that parenthood has in store for you. Bored Panda has managed to contact a certified relationship systems coach who has been working with families for over 15 years “so they hear and see each other rather than project pain and perpetuate destructive patterns of disconnection,” hoping to understand this situation from a more professional view.
Image credits: u/Fun_Talk3027
Before we jump into the story, BP asked the parenting coach to describe how one should handle an outburst: “emotional outbursts are common for teens because of the adolescent brain development. They’re more emotionally reactive and often in a mild state of fear, fight or flight. What teens need most during an outburst is empathy and validation for what they’re feeling and experiencing, which helps their brain to regulate and calm i.e. ‘I hear you’re upset, I’m sorry that didn’t go the way you wanted it to, That must’ve been really hard’. Empathy isn’t about agreement and their feelings aren’t up for judgement. When you stay regulated without taking it personally (because it’s not!) you also help your teen’s brain to come back down. Telling your teen to go away and calm down first before they share is shaming and teaches them their messy emotions are bad and wrong, and they learn to suppress them. Holding boundaries around physical safety may be necessary depending on your teen.”
Image credits: u/Fun_Talk3027
Now, the author began his story by introducing his family. He is a lucky father of three kids: 8-month-old Tyler, 13-year-old Anna and, last but not least, 17-year-old Sarah. The man mentioned that together with his wife, they’d managed to save up some money to surprise the kids with a one-week Disney World vacation. Sarah is currently in her teenage phase, and according to the author, has been acting like a “soldier being sent out to war” whenever she has to go out with the family. The 17-year-old absolutely refused to leave for Disney World, saying that it’s a “stupid” place while also backing it up with the fact that she didn’t want to be away from her friends. The author and his wife tried their best to convince her to go; they showed her those magical Disney pics, told her everything about it and promised that it would be fun. The teen was extremely stubborn, so the folks had no other choice than to let her stay at her aunt’s house.
Image credits: u/Fun_Talk3027
The family came back from their exciting getaway and Sarah’s sister decided to show her a couple of pictures. Nobody expected to face this kind of reaction, but the teenager practically caused a scene. She became incredibly angry with her parents and said she felt betrayed, as they willingly let her miss out on this valuable family time. Telling her parents that they should’ve “fought harder” to persuade her to go is an unpleasant, but a necessary reaction. This was a lesson to Sarah that, hopefully, taught her about the consequences of her own actions. Moreover, it’s an excellent example of what a healthy boundary should look like; her parents respected her request and handled it beautifully.
Image credits: u/Fun_Talk3027
We asked Aly to give us a tip on what a should parent do if their teen is angry with them for no reason, to which she said: “there’s always a reason. All behaviour is communication and again, empathy means ‘believing them as THEY experienced it, not as YOU believe their experience to be’ – Brené Brown. Your job isn’t to be judge or jury and decide right/wrong or label their feelings as dramatic, oversensitive, attention seeking, etc., which is shaming just to shut your teen down so YOU feel more comfortable. Let them know you’re available to listen (that means NOT talking or interrupting) without judgement, holding a respectful boundary of no name calling, etc. The key phrase is ‘What do you need from me right now?’ Most teens will say it right then, as you help them to learn healthy expression and self advocacy. And if they don’t know, that’s ok too.”
Image credits: John McGuire
Lastly, the parenting specialist kindly offered advice to help folks deal with their emotional teenagers: “teen brains are going through differentiation, a necessary process for them to figure out who they are without you. Rather than be resentful of them wanting little to no time around you, be patient and get curious about who they’re becoming so your relationship can shift and flourish into adulthood rather than get stuck because they’re not being who you want them to be or who you knew them to be. They key is not taking it personally so you help your teen learn to regulate in big emotions, then develop words to express and self-advocate.”
Fellow Redditors supported the author and collectively agreed that he did nothing wrong
Sarah has no right to be mad when she said no. She chose what she did- and the only one to blame is her. The parents need to explain this to her.
logic is not exactly something a teen understands when asserting their independence.
Load More Replies...
Oh I feel this one. My parents holidayed without me. They asked me, I always declined. Only once did I join them on holidays. Other times I said no because school/friends. I never gave out to them, and when I was able to I went on holidays just with mum. Or day trips just with dad, but the once a year holiday where they could be together I sent them off happily without any jealousy or anger. My mum has beautiful memories of her late husband, that isn't stained by teenage daughters attitude (I was horrible, selfish and to this day I find most things unpleasant and annoying. I remove myself from fun activities when knowing I ruin it for everyone) Sarah learned valuable lesson and as for family they had a great time without the soldier and her attitude. Next time she'll be thinking twice. Sometimes it's easier to say yes to activities even if you don't feel like to enjoy the family time where nobody is stressing for money, work, school, tired etc. She will do better with her own kids.
I feel bad for you that you feel like you ruin things for other people. I hope there is something you can enjoy doing with others :)
Load More Replies...
She's 17, that's almost an adult. Old enough to make a choice and stick with it without blaming others.
I really like the comment about consent. Sarah said she did not want to go. She insisted she did not want to go. Her parents honored her wishes and respected her decision to say no. Even though Disney is fun (same as frat parties, beer pong, experimenting with drugs, all the things she’ll be exposed to in college), it’s totally her right to decline, no matter how fun those things are. This is a valuable lesson that her choices should be respected, regardless of how fun the thing she’s saying no to is.
Nta! You tried. She didn't want to go. And now she's jealous cause y'all had fun and she missed out. Lesson learned. She'll get over it.....or at least we'll understand it when she's older. Just make sure she knows you love and support her. If you give her grief she will resent you always for this.
Lesson learned. When I was a teen my parents planned a family vacation out of state to see mom's side of the family. Told both me and my brother a month in advance going was optional. I said yes, my brother said no, repeatedly. A week before we were due to leave his reply was still no so they extended the offer to my then long time bf (now husband). He accepted. The day before we were due to leave, when my bf brought his bag so dad could pack it in the car that night, my brother said he changed his mind. Both my parents told him tough crackers. He made his decision, knew my bf was being invited in his place and he still said he didn't want to go. They won't rescind the offer just before we plan to leave now that reality hit.
Shut the f#ck up, Sarah. You threw a fit until your parents agreed to let you stay home, so stop whining about getting what you said you wanted.
If she had gone it would have been torture for everyone. She would have complained about everything and wined about being away from her friends. Blah blah. Because you forced her to go. This is actually the best learning experience she can get. But, try not to be pulled down with her reaction to you actually giving her what she wanted and her regrets. Just tell her you understand it's hard to be a teenager. It's hard being the parent of a teen and you didn't want to force her to do something she though she was too old to enjoy. Maybe you could find out if there is something she would like to do with her parents without the little ones in tow. After all she did learn from this already. No need for any further lesson.
NTA in my opinion she chose this so she had to live with it. You did nothing wrong and don’t let her guilt you into thinking otherwise
If she had only said no once I think it would have been unfair (not awful, just unfair) but she kept saying no and fighting them.
"You made the choice; you live with the consequences." Everything else is rescuing or enabling.
OMG brings back memories. I am now in my 80s but I was 15 and refused to go away with family and family friends for a weekend at a beach. Of course an hour after they left I was feeling very sorry for myself, angry and hurt. Eventually I calmed down, decided to bake the first (and last) pie I ever baked to welcome them when they came home.
It's important to understand that for reasons of physical and emotional development, some teens will be angry either way. I would look deeper into Sarah"s health and well being and coping strategies. Instead of focusing on the vacation issue, investigate the bigger picture.
Yes if the parent version is complete then she clearly has problems communicating her needs and their ma be some issues to deal with in family dynamics or just personal for her. This is not about a trip it is about more. It just feels like it has to be and so I wonder what big aha piece is missing and if none then I hope she gets the help she needs
Load More Replies...
Honey, we only had that good of a time because you weren't there. If we had brought you you would be just as mad at us as you are now. Thank you for staying home and allowing most of the family to have a good time.
Sarah is living the adult consequences of being the controller of her own destiny. However, in one year, she won't have anyone to blame for her decisions she later regrets. It does appear she had secretive plans to be a big shot but plans fell flat. And there she was. All alone deep in the mire of her own duplicity. Unless she gets her self-gratifying act together and changes her attitude of adulthood, she's doomed to only relationship failures, one after another. She might consider apologizing to her dad, and all others she blames for dad not twisting her arm enough to convince her to go AT THE SAME TIME NOT--NOT--RUIN the entire family's fun and memories.Rather than the approach "you should have known better than to give me what I SAY I want", daughter needs an attitude adjustment of her own doing. And she GOT ONE. She has no business ruining the good time her family had by torturing them with her childish behavior and guilt trip. Her choice. Her consequences. Her best lesson ever.
Sarah got what she wanted. Or at least she thought. Like someone said above she thought she was going to be home alone. I've told my son if you do go with me you don't get anything. He tried it when I went to get something to eat one day. I came back with only food for me and he was looking for his.
And yes there was plenty of food at home but it was a "nothing I want to eat or prepare" type of evening
Load More Replies...
My stepmother excluded me on purpose as she adopted "the little girl her heart always wanted" and instead she invites the girls crack head mother(legit does meth and had to give up a few kids) and that woman's kids(ones that still have contact) Yeah I realized my place and she wonders why I am low contact with her.
If you'd insisted and made her go with you, she'd had spent the whole time making everyone else miserable. So much better that she learn her choices matter.
You allowed her to experience the consequences of her choice. No apology necessary for her choice. If you would have made her go along she probably would have made everyone on the trip miserable.
Either you force her to go and make good memories and she lightens up on the trip, or you teach her a lesson she needs to learn. I don't understand why all these "professionals" all say to pretty much figure everything out and work with them. That's great sometimes, but the entire point of being a kid is to learn the lessons of life early so they go into adulthood prepared. An adult shouldn't be learning to be an adult.
I understand that Sarah is still a teenager, but she is nearly a legal adult. No one should fight harder to make her do anything. Regretting the decision to not go is on her and her alone.
Yeah, I'm not going to 'validate' a tantrum from a regretful older teen. One answer, "I don't force people old enough to make a choice to go where they expressly said they wouldn't go." Tell her to tantrum in her room, then drop the melodrama.
Sarah said no after they tried and they eventually let her do what she wanted which was to stay home and be bored doing the usual crap with her friends, who obviously were not as much fun as Disney and now she's butthurt because everyone else had fun but her and she knows it. You chose to stay home, kid. You have no one to blame and no one to be angry at but yourself for missing out on a good time just because you felt like being a moody, little tart. Consequences, Sarah. Consequences.
All I can say is: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I can only imagine what my fate would have been if I would have acted in that manner towards my parents. I probably would have been made to go to begin with. If I would have been allowed to stay home I would have to live with my choice. Blaming my parents for my choice would not have been an option. Finding another place to live after acting so terrible to my parents would have been my only option.
Typical teenager behavior. The sting of regret will fade and eventually, probably when a friend wise beyond their years tells her that she can only blame herself, she'll understand that her choices are hers alone. The immature "fight harder for me" thing will likely pass as she grows up. At least, one would hope because it can sometimes lead to issues with interpersonal relationships... another very difficult set of life lessons.
She's an adult, not a little kid. At 17 I was working full time and living alone in my own apartment. Why is a 17yr old acting more like a 13yr old?
17 is still legally a minor not an adult and the rational part of the brain isnt fully formed until 25. Her behavior is on par for the typical 17 year old.
Load More Replies...
Apparently she still hasn't learned that her decision is what she is angry about. At 17 you are not a baby and tantrums are not acceptable,
As a former teenage girl, I had parents who respected me and my sometimes dumb decisions. There are a couple of things I look back on and wish I had done differently, but if they had forced me to go, I would have been pi$$y the whole time. Lesson learned fast. Surprisingly, life goes on without me.
I missed out on a family trip to Santa Fe and I regret that I missed out, but I know that it was because of a decision that I made. That is exactly what happened here. Sarah made a decision and now has to live with the consequences. Anyone that says that they should have forced her to go clearly doesn't understand that the whole family would have suffered if she had been forced to go. She would have complained the whole time and made everyone else's time miserable. This is just a learning experience for Sarah that if you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
I once read that teenagers are like toddlers, in that, they are going through a period of their life where there are lots of changes going on in them, they want autonomy now that they've had a taste, but they're also still unsure of how to deal with the changes. It's also why they will be rude and nasty to their parents, because they know it is safe to do so and they will not be abandoned, whereas if they go to a friend's parent's house, they will be polite and well behaved (probably) because they don't know what might happen. This was a light bulb moment for me. This girl has just gone through one of those situations and is having a tantrum about going and not going. A hard life lesson, but not life threatening
This little brat has NO RIGHT to be angry with her parents!! They did their best and she wanted to be a stubborn little b@#&%
Goes to show how kids cant make decisions that are good for them...underdeveloped frontal cortex...hence why other decisions shouldn't be left up to kids, and what a thing to get mad at everyone cause of your decision..thats also called privilege
Whine, whine and whine some more. Sarah made a decision. Her parents should explain to her what life is about. Your responsible for the decisions you make and in many cases there is no "do over". Welcome to the trappings of adulthood little lady.
She has no right to be mad. She didnt wanna go. You respeceted her wishes. Sounds to me like she was hoping to stay home alone party n such (seeing she mentioned her friends) but when that didnt happen she threw a fit. Make this a good teaching moment. No means no. And enjoy opportunities as they come
My opinion....SARAH. Seems like a brat. If she didn't want to go on her own, she shouldn't go at all. An adolescence going through puberty or not, every action has consequences, and if you make a decision you need to live with it. Besides....if she were my daughter she wouldn't have a choice. If she's not 18, she's not choosing. If she lives under my roof, she's not choosing. If it's been saved for, and people have worked hard too get it, she's not choosing OR ruining it for anyone else. She could of kept her little butt home while they went on a much deserved vacation. Kids don't run the show, and all girls and boys go through puberty, it's NOT an excuse to be rude, over entitled, and self absorbed. After behavior like that she would have stayed home anyways. I don't feel sorry for kids like her. It's a good thing I plan on never having kids I guess. Because if Sarah was my daughter she's be working herself up to a one way trip too boarding OR military school. How about that Sarah?
Sounds like the 17 y/o is incredibly spoiled. The issue here is obvious. The "parents" spend too much time trying to accommodate a brat rather than simply laying down the rules and consequences. If the child insists she doesn't want to go then fine she doesn't go. No trying to pander to her, as her parents have done her whole life. As a parent of a teenager you need to spend more time being a parent than a friend. This child should have learned long before she was 17 that choices have consequences.
Tell this little idiot to get over it. Stop being so soft on these kids man. I'm happy the parents left her there. Maybe she will grow up a bit. I can't believe there's a while article dedicated to the antics of some spoiled child.
It is hard to be a teenager. They have so many emotions (strong ones) and try to sort them out. They push boundaries with their parents for a reason, to see where the line goes and to figure out who they are without them. I really don't miss being a teenager for reasons like this. Conflicting feelings that you can't sort out yet. It is necessary growth though and the parents did nothing wrong. It's a lesson. They respected her wishes and gave her the age appropriate freedom of choice. That comes with the responsibility to live with that choice.
She's literally an adult. Do me a favor give me your last name so anyone I encounter with the first name Sarah and last name whatever it is, I can avoid.
The parents should have made her go. I made my teen go. Its a valuable family trip. Kids are stubborn and rude. I missed out on a trip with my dad when I was younger, wish he just thre me in the car and made me go...now he's dead.
NTA. My son is getting ready to turn 23. Bbi can tell you right now what shevwas thinking. Holy cow. A week without parental control. P. A. R. T Y time. Instead she dot shuffled yo Aunties house. No partying. And no Disney either. You GAVE her a choice. She made it. HARSH LESSON. BUT let HER live with it. Fantastic PARENTING JOB. WELL DONE
I actually wanted to go on a vacation like this at 18, but was left home because mom said my job was more important. Still haven't been to Universal, Still resent my mom.
That's not teenage that's Womanhood. Welcome to damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-don't World. Permanently.
I can kind of understand the emotions she has even though she needs to get over it. When I was a kid my mom might over hype a local event and I would find out it was awful even if my mom had the best intentions, for example we might go to sit on Santa's lap but have to wait two hours in line and then she might see a sale at the grocery store on the way home etc so when she wanted to take me somewhere I would juggle in my mind if its going to be worth it. I am guessing this teenager failed to realize that Disney world is for all ages not just little kids until it was all over.
Good job! Let her be mad, these are lessons she needs to learn now so she doesn't grow up to be a s**t of an adult. I did that with my kid when she wanted to be uber difficult during a family trip, I wasn't gonna make everyone else suffer because she was being unreasonable and wanted everyone to cater to her. I left her and when she heard all of what she missed while being a turd at the hotel, her attitude straightened out real quick.
Sarah is lucky her parents gave her a choice. I remember that age. Number 1 rule vacations if you don't go with the family you continue living life at home with a family member staying at your home or you stay at their's. There is no choice the parents made the choice if you went or not. I can tell you with her comment about being away from her friends she thought she would have the house to herself and be able to party. When she found out otherwise she couldn't change her mind because then it would be obvious what her plans were. So she got stuck with her aunt. When the family returns she uses guilt to try to make them feel bad but the truth is she is spoiled brat who should be set straight now before she goes into the real world.
So an angry teen lashes out at her parents for not trying hard enough to override her decision? What teen 'needed most' from parents is to be told immediately that anger or hostility will not be tolerated and she can go to her room and stay there until she can be civil.
Life sucks. Maybe next time she will think it thru and come to a better conclusion. Welcome to the real-world Sarah.
What kind of parents even give the child a choice? She would not have had a choice. I would have said, we're going to Disney world. And that would have been the end of the discussion. She would have gone. My house, my rules. If she was 18 and had a job, that would be different. But it'll be a cold day in hell before any child will tell me what they are going to do when I plan a family vacation.
pfft lol. Her fault. Learn ya lesson. Oh no how horrible is your life that your parents were able to and wanted to save money for a week at Disney . I mean, how dare they actually want to spend family time with their kids? The parents should not feel bad about that.
When I was seventeen, I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii for Christmas with my parents, sister and grandparents. I can't imagine saying no to that and missing out on something I might never have the opportunity to do again.
There's no understanding anyone under the age of 25, and even after that, it's hit and miss.
NTA... She's being a typical jerk teenager. 🤷🏻♀️ If it were me, I'd be making her feel bad for missing out non-stop with well-placed sarcasm. 😁😉 Make the life lesson last the rest of her life.
Oh look, an american child being entitled due to lack of discipline. How novel and totally unexpected. *YAWN*
Teenage brain is a thing (I know, I've got one at home) but whenever it comes down to discussion... There's no such thing as a "convince them of my point" conversation. I feel like the parents wasted too much attention to convincing the teen their point of view instead of having an open adulting discussion with said teen. I don't feel like they really took the time to do a Q&A, nor does it seem like they took the time to reason out any potential feelings. It sounds more like they've approached a teen with a child's argument and then expected an adult response to the consequences.
Gramma and grandma have funded our grandkids 13th birthday and 2 friends to do Disney and Universal. Our 12 year old cried when we told her we wouldn't fund Disney but would substitute alternatives. We explained it in the most simple and fundamental way possible and she couldn't understand it. Moral of the story is at 12 years old she didn't have a clue about genders, bi-genders, gays etc. This proves my daughter and son in law have done a great job letting her grow up and enjoy her Innocence and childhood.
All an adolescent or child wants, are Boundaries! A child or youth, screaming to stay back, from a family event is a rebellious human wanting to be accepted and loved! Yes, they may act immature and selfish-they are-as a matter of life. It’s the adults who must, stand hard and fast on including all their children!! No matter how difficult/awkward or unpleasant it may be, That’s what adults do! That’s what real parents do! All of you ignoring the adolescent and giving props to her weak parents, are proof.. It’s so easy to have a child, then blame them, because you are not prepared to be a parent. During the good and bad times!!! Blaming the adolescent is such a cop out!
She is not an adolescent, she is almost an adult. Exactly when are her thoughts and feelings supposed to matter? When are parents supposed to teach her consequences, if not now? This is pretty low stakes. This is a trip to Disneyland, not a doctor visit or a cross country move. If she didn't want to go and she had a safe place to stay while they were gone, then it's totally acceptable for them not to make her.
Load More Replies...
She wanted to stay home and party and that didn't happen. Obviously there's an underlying binge or addiction problem that needs to be looked into. The shrink says teenage this and that I disagree. At 17 I joined the military and learned how to suppress a lot of things to achieve a result.
I would have never left a 17 year old home alone. She would have been staying with a relative. Possibly the one she disliked the most after she tried to assert herself like she was running the show. No,you are the parents so act like it. Once she got mad and decided she was not going to be speaking with me because she got upset about the pictures she would be grounded until she was old enough to live on her own. Everyone must learn to live with the consequences they caused. Including the parents. I am so grateful that I had two amazing children that gave me no problems,even in the teen years. Now I just have to get my five year old past all of it successfully.
You clearly did not read the article. It stated that she was left with her aunt. She was NOT alone! Many posters even commented on how she probably thought she'd be left home alone to party. If you are going to comment, fully read the article and other comments before saying the same wrong thing multiple times.
Load More Replies... 
It's simple: she had a good chunk of time to realize what she had passed up. When she saw the photos, she blamed others because it was a bit too painful for her to admit to herself she'd made a mistake by not going.
Load More Replies... Parent are definitely NTA. *She* may have thought that the parents owed her those funds. The truth? No. I'm sure they gave funds to the aunt for her upkeep that week, but handing a significant amount of money to a minor (leaving her in an empty house w/o supervision~~hell no!) is ridiculous. Child has also proven she's not mature enough to deal with adult issues, so good luck to her in college. She's got a lot of growing to do.
Load More Replies... 
B******t. If they had forced her to go then then they would be assholes for not respecting her wishes. What does being a teenage girl have to do with anything? If someone doesn’t want to learn or be a decent person, there’s nothing you can do. Teenagers can make life HELL if they really want to, not the parents fault at all.
Load More Replies... Sarah has no right to be mad when she said no. She chose what she did- and the only one to blame is her. The parents need to explain this to her.
logic is not exactly something a teen understands when asserting their independence.
Load More Replies... Oh I feel this one. My parents holidayed without me. They asked me, I always declined. Only once did I join them on holidays. Other times I said no because school/friends. I never gave out to them, and when I was able to I went on holidays just with mum. Or day trips just with dad, but the once a year holiday where they could be together I sent them off happily without any jealousy or anger. My mum has beautiful memories of her late husband, that isn't stained by teenage daughters attitude (I was horrible, selfish and to this day I find most things unpleasant and annoying. I remove myself from fun activities when knowing I ruin it for everyone) Sarah learned valuable lesson and as for family they had a great time without the soldier and her attitude. Next time she'll be thinking twice. Sometimes it's easier to say yes to activities even if you don't feel like to enjoy the family time where nobody is stressing for money, work, school, tired etc. She will do better with her own kids.
I feel bad for you that you feel like you ruin things for other people. I hope there is something you can enjoy doing with others :)
Load More Replies... She's 17, that's almost an adult. Old enough to make a choice and stick with it without blaming others.
I really like the comment about consent. Sarah said she did not want to go. She insisted she did not want to go. Her parents honored her wishes and respected her decision to say no. Even though Disney is fun (same as frat parties, beer pong, experimenting with drugs, all the things she’ll be exposed to in college), it’s totally her right to decline, no matter how fun those things are. This is a valuable lesson that her choices should be respected, regardless of how fun the thing she’s saying no to is.
Nta! You tried. She didn't want to go. And now she's jealous cause y'all had fun and she missed out. Lesson learned. She'll get over it.....or at least we'll understand it when she's older. Just make sure she knows you love and support her. If you give her grief she will resent you always for this.
Lesson learned. When I was a teen my parents planned a family vacation out of state to see mom's side of the family. Told both me and my brother a month in advance going was optional. I said yes, my brother said no, repeatedly. A week before we were due to leave his reply was still no so they extended the offer to my then long time bf (now husband). He accepted. The day before we were due to leave, when my bf brought his bag so dad could pack it in the car that night, my brother said he changed his mind. Both my parents told him tough crackers. He made his decision, knew my bf was being invited in his place and he still said he didn't want to go. They won't rescind the offer just before we plan to leave now that reality hit.
Shut the f#ck up, Sarah. You threw a fit until your parents agreed to let you stay home, so stop whining about getting what you said you wanted.
If she had gone it would have been torture for everyone. She would have complained about everything and wined about being away from her friends. Blah blah. Because you forced her to go. This is actually the best learning experience she can get. But, try not to be pulled down with her reaction to you actually giving her what she wanted and her regrets. Just tell her you understand it's hard to be a teenager. It's hard being the parent of a teen and you didn't want to force her to do something she though she was too old to enjoy. Maybe you could find out if there is something she would like to do with her parents without the little ones in tow. After all she did learn from this already. No need for any further lesson.
NTA in my opinion she chose this so she had to live with it. You did nothing wrong and don’t let her guilt you into thinking otherwise
If she had only said no once I think it would have been unfair (not awful, just unfair) but she kept saying no and fighting them.
"You made the choice; you live with the consequences." Everything else is rescuing or enabling.
OMG brings back memories. I am now in my 80s but I was 15 and refused to go away with family and family friends for a weekend at a beach. Of course an hour after they left I was feeling very sorry for myself, angry and hurt. Eventually I calmed down, decided to bake the first (and last) pie I ever baked to welcome them when they came home.
It's important to understand that for reasons of physical and emotional development, some teens will be angry either way. I would look deeper into Sarah"s health and well being and coping strategies. Instead of focusing on the vacation issue, investigate the bigger picture.
Yes if the parent version is complete then she clearly has problems communicating her needs and their ma be some issues to deal with in family dynamics or just personal for her. This is not about a trip it is about more. It just feels like it has to be and so I wonder what big aha piece is missing and if none then I hope she gets the help she needs
Load More Replies... Honey, we only had that good of a time because you weren't there. If we had brought you you would be just as mad at us as you are now. Thank you for staying home and allowing most of the family to have a good time.
Sarah is living the adult consequences of being the controller of her own destiny. However, in one year, she won't have anyone to blame for her decisions she later regrets. It does appear she had secretive plans to be a big shot but plans fell flat. And there she was. All alone deep in the mire of her own duplicity. Unless she gets her self-gratifying act together and changes her attitude of adulthood, she's doomed to only relationship failures, one after another. She might consider apologizing to her dad, and all others she blames for dad not twisting her arm enough to convince her to go AT THE SAME TIME NOT--NOT--RUIN the entire family's fun and memories.Rather than the approach "you should have known better than to give me what I SAY I want", daughter needs an attitude adjustment of her own doing. And she GOT ONE. She has no business ruining the good time her family had by torturing them with her childish behavior and guilt trip. Her choice. Her consequences. Her best lesson ever.
Sarah got what she wanted. Or at least she thought. Like someone said above she thought she was going to be home alone. I've told my son if you do go with me you don't get anything. He tried it when I went to get something to eat one day. I came back with only food for me and he was looking for his.
And yes there was plenty of food at home but it was a "nothing I want to eat or prepare" type of evening
Load More Replies... My stepmother excluded me on purpose as she adopted "the little girl her heart always wanted" and instead she invites the girls crack head mother(legit does meth and had to give up a few kids) and that woman's kids(ones that still have contact) Yeah I realized my place and she wonders why I am low contact with her.
If you'd insisted and made her go with you, she'd had spent the whole time making everyone else miserable. So much better that she learn her choices matter.
You allowed her to experience the consequences of her choice. No apology necessary for her choice. If you would have made her go along she probably would have made everyone on the trip miserable.
Either you force her to go and make good memories and she lightens up on the trip, or you teach her a lesson she needs to learn. I don't understand why all these "professionals" all say to pretty much figure everything out and work with them. That's great sometimes, but the entire point of being a kid is to learn the lessons of life early so they go into adulthood prepared. An adult shouldn't be learning to be an adult.
I understand that Sarah is still a teenager, but she is nearly a legal adult. No one should fight harder to make her do anything. Regretting the decision to not go is on her and her alone.
Yeah, I'm not going to 'validate' a tantrum from a regretful older teen. One answer, "I don't force people old enough to make a choice to go where they expressly said they wouldn't go." Tell her to tantrum in her room, then drop the melodrama.
Sarah said no after they tried and they eventually let her do what she wanted which was to stay home and be bored doing the usual crap with her friends, who obviously were not as much fun as Disney and now she's butthurt because everyone else had fun but her and she knows it. You chose to stay home, kid. You have no one to blame and no one to be angry at but yourself for missing out on a good time just because you felt like being a moody, little tart. Consequences, Sarah. Consequences.
All I can say is: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I can only imagine what my fate would have been if I would have acted in that manner towards my parents. I probably would have been made to go to begin with. If I would have been allowed to stay home I would have to live with my choice. Blaming my parents for my choice would not have been an option. Finding another place to live after acting so terrible to my parents would have been my only option.
Typical teenager behavior. The sting of regret will fade and eventually, probably when a friend wise beyond their years tells her that she can only blame herself, she'll understand that her choices are hers alone. The immature "fight harder for me" thing will likely pass as she grows up. At least, one would hope because it can sometimes lead to issues with interpersonal relationships... another very difficult set of life lessons.
She's an adult, not a little kid. At 17 I was working full time and living alone in my own apartment. Why is a 17yr old acting more like a 13yr old?
17 is still legally a minor not an adult and the rational part of the brain isnt fully formed until 25. Her behavior is on par for the typical 17 year old.
Load More Replies... Apparently she still hasn't learned that her decision is what she is angry about. At 17 you are not a baby and tantrums are not acceptable,
As a former teenage girl, I had parents who respected me and my sometimes dumb decisions. There are a couple of things I look back on and wish I had done differently, but if they had forced me to go, I would have been pi$$y the whole time. Lesson learned fast. Surprisingly, life goes on without me.
I missed out on a family trip to Santa Fe and I regret that I missed out, but I know that it was because of a decision that I made. That is exactly what happened here. Sarah made a decision and now has to live with the consequences. Anyone that says that they should have forced her to go clearly doesn't understand that the whole family would have suffered if she had been forced to go. She would have complained the whole time and made everyone else's time miserable. This is just a learning experience for Sarah that if you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
I once read that teenagers are like toddlers, in that, they are going through a period of their life where there are lots of changes going on in them, they want autonomy now that they've had a taste, but they're also still unsure of how to deal with the changes. It's also why they will be rude and nasty to their parents, because they know it is safe to do so and they will not be abandoned, whereas if they go to a friend's parent's house, they will be polite and well behaved (probably) because they don't know what might happen. This was a light bulb moment for me. This girl has just gone through one of those situations and is having a tantrum about going and not going. A hard life lesson, but not life threatening
This little brat has NO RIGHT to be angry with her parents!! They did their best and she wanted to be a stubborn little b@#&%
Goes to show how kids cant make decisions that are good for them...underdeveloped frontal cortex...hence why other decisions shouldn't be left up to kids, and what a thing to get mad at everyone cause of your decision..thats also called privilege
Whine, whine and whine some more. Sarah made a decision. Her parents should explain to her what life is about. Your responsible for the decisions you make and in many cases there is no "do over". Welcome to the trappings of adulthood little lady.
She has no right to be mad. She didnt wanna go. You respeceted her wishes. Sounds to me like she was hoping to stay home alone party n such (seeing she mentioned her friends) but when that didnt happen she threw a fit. Make this a good teaching moment. No means no. And enjoy opportunities as they come
My opinion....SARAH. Seems like a brat. If she didn't want to go on her own, she shouldn't go at all. An adolescence going through puberty or not, every action has consequences, and if you make a decision you need to live with it. Besides....if she were my daughter she wouldn't have a choice. If she's not 18, she's not choosing. If she lives under my roof, she's not choosing. If it's been saved for, and people have worked hard too get it, she's not choosing OR ruining it for anyone else. She could of kept her little butt home while they went on a much deserved vacation. Kids don't run the show, and all girls and boys go through puberty, it's NOT an excuse to be rude, over entitled, and self absorbed. After behavior like that she would have stayed home anyways. I don't feel sorry for kids like her. It's a good thing I plan on never having kids I guess. Because if Sarah was my daughter she's be working herself up to a one way trip too boarding OR military school. How about that Sarah?
Sounds like the 17 y/o is incredibly spoiled. The issue here is obvious. The "parents" spend too much time trying to accommodate a brat rather than simply laying down the rules and consequences. If the child insists she doesn't want to go then fine she doesn't go. No trying to pander to her, as her parents have done her whole life. As a parent of a teenager you need to spend more time being a parent than a friend. This child should have learned long before she was 17 that choices have consequences.
Tell this little idiot to get over it. Stop being so soft on these kids man. I'm happy the parents left her there. Maybe she will grow up a bit. I can't believe there's a while article dedicated to the antics of some spoiled child.
It is hard to be a teenager. They have so many emotions (strong ones) and try to sort them out. They push boundaries with their parents for a reason, to see where the line goes and to figure out who they are without them. I really don't miss being a teenager for reasons like this. Conflicting feelings that you can't sort out yet. It is necessary growth though and the parents did nothing wrong. It's a lesson. They respected her wishes and gave her the age appropriate freedom of choice. That comes with the responsibility to live with that choice.
She's literally an adult. Do me a favor give me your last name so anyone I encounter with the first name Sarah and last name whatever it is, I can avoid.
The parents should have made her go. I made my teen go. Its a valuable family trip. Kids are stubborn and rude. I missed out on a trip with my dad when I was younger, wish he just thre me in the car and made me go...now he's dead.
NTA. My son is getting ready to turn 23. Bbi can tell you right now what shevwas thinking. Holy cow. A week without parental control. P. A. R. T Y time. Instead she dot shuffled yo Aunties house. No partying. And no Disney either. You GAVE her a choice. She made it. HARSH LESSON. BUT let HER live with it. Fantastic PARENTING JOB. WELL DONE
I actually wanted to go on a vacation like this at 18, but was left home because mom said my job was more important. Still haven't been to Universal, Still resent my mom.
That's not teenage that's Womanhood. Welcome to damned-if-you-do damned-if-you-don't World. Permanently.
I can kind of understand the emotions she has even though she needs to get over it. When I was a kid my mom might over hype a local event and I would find out it was awful even if my mom had the best intentions, for example we might go to sit on Santa's lap but have to wait two hours in line and then she might see a sale at the grocery store on the way home etc so when she wanted to take me somewhere I would juggle in my mind if its going to be worth it. I am guessing this teenager failed to realize that Disney world is for all ages not just little kids until it was all over.
Good job! Let her be mad, these are lessons she needs to learn now so she doesn't grow up to be a s**t of an adult. I did that with my kid when she wanted to be uber difficult during a family trip, I wasn't gonna make everyone else suffer because she was being unreasonable and wanted everyone to cater to her. I left her and when she heard all of what she missed while being a turd at the hotel, her attitude straightened out real quick.
Sarah is lucky her parents gave her a choice. I remember that age. Number 1 rule vacations if you don't go with the family you continue living life at home with a family member staying at your home or you stay at their's. There is no choice the parents made the choice if you went or not. I can tell you with her comment about being away from her friends she thought she would have the house to herself and be able to party. When she found out otherwise she couldn't change her mind because then it would be obvious what her plans were. So she got stuck with her aunt. When the family returns she uses guilt to try to make them feel bad but the truth is she is spoiled brat who should be set straight now before she goes into the real world.
So an angry teen lashes out at her parents for not trying hard enough to override her decision? What teen 'needed most' from parents is to be told immediately that anger or hostility will not be tolerated and she can go to her room and stay there until she can be civil.
Life sucks. Maybe next time she will think it thru and come to a better conclusion. Welcome to the real-world Sarah.
What kind of parents even give the child a choice? She would not have had a choice. I would have said, we're going to Disney world. And that would have been the end of the discussion. She would have gone. My house, my rules. If she was 18 and had a job, that would be different. But it'll be a cold day in hell before any child will tell me what they are going to do when I plan a family vacation.
pfft lol. Her fault. Learn ya lesson. Oh no how horrible is your life that your parents were able to and wanted to save money for a week at Disney . I mean, how dare they actually want to spend family time with their kids? The parents should not feel bad about that.
When I was seventeen, I had the opportunity to go to Hawaii for Christmas with my parents, sister and grandparents. I can't imagine saying no to that and missing out on something I might never have the opportunity to do again.
There's no understanding anyone under the age of 25, and even after that, it's hit and miss.
NTA... She's being a typical jerk teenager. 🤷🏻♀️ If it were me, I'd be making her feel bad for missing out non-stop with well-placed sarcasm. 😁😉 Make the life lesson last the rest of her life.
Oh look, an american child being entitled due to lack of discipline. How novel and totally unexpected. *YAWN*
Teenage brain is a thing (I know, I've got one at home) but whenever it comes down to discussion... There's no such thing as a "convince them of my point" conversation. I feel like the parents wasted too much attention to convincing the teen their point of view instead of having an open adulting discussion with said teen. I don't feel like they really took the time to do a Q&A, nor does it seem like they took the time to reason out any potential feelings. It sounds more like they've approached a teen with a child's argument and then expected an adult response to the consequences.
Gramma and grandma have funded our grandkids 13th birthday and 2 friends to do Disney and Universal. Our 12 year old cried when we told her we wouldn't fund Disney but would substitute alternatives. We explained it in the most simple and fundamental way possible and she couldn't understand it. Moral of the story is at 12 years old she didn't have a clue about genders, bi-genders, gays etc. This proves my daughter and son in law have done a great job letting her grow up and enjoy her Innocence and childhood.
All an adolescent or child wants, are Boundaries! A child or youth, screaming to stay back, from a family event is a rebellious human wanting to be accepted and loved! Yes, they may act immature and selfish-they are-as a matter of life. It’s the adults who must, stand hard and fast on including all their children!! No matter how difficult/awkward or unpleasant it may be, That’s what adults do! That’s what real parents do! All of you ignoring the adolescent and giving props to her weak parents, are proof.. It’s so easy to have a child, then blame them, because you are not prepared to be a parent. During the good and bad times!!! Blaming the adolescent is such a cop out!
She is not an adolescent, she is almost an adult. Exactly when are her thoughts and feelings supposed to matter? When are parents supposed to teach her consequences, if not now? This is pretty low stakes. This is a trip to Disneyland, not a doctor visit or a cross country move. If she didn't want to go and she had a safe place to stay while they were gone, then it's totally acceptable for them not to make her.
Load More Replies... She wanted to stay home and party and that didn't happen. Obviously there's an underlying binge or addiction problem that needs to be looked into. The shrink says teenage this and that I disagree. At 17 I joined the military and learned how to suppress a lot of things to achieve a result.
I would have never left a 17 year old home alone. She would have been staying with a relative. Possibly the one she disliked the most after she tried to assert herself like she was running the show. No,you are the parents so act like it. Once she got mad and decided she was not going to be speaking with me because she got upset about the pictures she would be grounded until she was old enough to live on her own. Everyone must learn to live with the consequences they caused. Including the parents. I am so grateful that I had two amazing children that gave me no problems,even in the teen years. Now I just have to get my five year old past all of it successfully.
You clearly did not read the article. It stated that she was left with her aunt. She was NOT alone! Many posters even commented on how she probably thought she'd be left home alone to party. If you are going to comment, fully read the article and other comments before saying the same wrong thing multiple times.
Load More Replies... It's simple: she had a good chunk of time to realize what she had passed up. When she saw the photos, she blamed others because it was a bit too painful for her to admit to herself she'd made a mistake by not going.
Load More Replies... Parent are definitely NTA. *She* may have thought that the parents owed her those funds. The truth? No. I'm sure they gave funds to the aunt for her upkeep that week, but handing a significant amount of money to a minor (leaving her in an empty house w/o supervision~~hell no!) is ridiculous. Child has also proven she's not mature enough to deal with adult issues, so good luck to her in college. She's got a lot of growing to do.
Load More Replies... B******t. If they had forced her to go then then they would be assholes for not respecting her wishes. What does being a teenage girl have to do with anything? If someone doesn’t want to learn or be a decent person, there’s nothing you can do. Teenagers can make life HELL if they really want to, not the parents fault at all.
Load More Replies... 
147
129