Women Share Texts From Men That They Were Dating To Show How Quickly They Change Their Opinions
When you start dating someone and are just getting to know them, it often takes time to fully understand the type of person they are and if the two of you have the same definition of love. After all, not everyone is an open book. Or is willing to treat you with respect.
A recent TikTok trend has women sharing the texts they received from a guy when they first started seeing each other versus the ones they got after a few months (or in some cases even weeks) when the initial excitement wore off.
Dating is hard, people. Hopefully, these conversations will remind you to always keep your guard up.
21-year-old student Cadigan Smith who goes to the University of Michigan was dating a guy for several months and everything seemed fine
But one day she received an unexpected text from him
@cadigansmith #greenscreen You know? #ScreamItOut #ComeDanceWithMe #TurboTaxAndRelax #men #college ♬ Piano Man – Billy Joel
Cadigan told BuzzFeed that, “he never wanted to officially ‘date,’ but, at least to my knowledge, we were exclusive and always hung out.”
“That probably should have been a red flag in and of itself, though, because one day he flipped the script saying he wasn’t attracted to my body anymore and that we should not be seeing each other anymore in case he could not get hard. Which I would totally be fine with — not everybody has to be/stay attracted to me — we are only human. I am not attracted to every guy. But the precedent he set was that he was very much attracted to me,” she said.
The woman also thought his wording was very poor, “especially in his follow-up text, where he said if I’m ever out to ‘hit him up,'” which is actually the main reason why Cadigan finds his whole approach mean.
“That was his rather, uh, creative, way of dumping me,” she said.
People found the whole situation appalling
Cadigan thinks he wanted to make the breakup her fault, as in she wasn’t good enough for him.
“Again, if he was authentically unattracted, then he wouldn’t ask me to still casually hit him up or offer to hook up … I responded with basically everything I have laid out here, saying that his story not only didn’t make much sense but also was worded in a very rude fashion,” she continued.
“It really was not something worth arguing about, because there is nothing to say that can be redeemed after those comments were made. The way he handled being done with me made me immediately done with him.”
And more women joined the trend, like this one who saw a guy’s act last just 11 days
Then there was one who found his person but changed his mind soon after
Love bombing, an activity characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person, is often tricky to spot and differentiate from genuine emotions.
Licensed therapist Sasha Jackson, LCSW, told Cosmopolitan that for the recipient, it “feels really good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins you receive.”
You feel special, needed, loved, valuable, and worthy, which, Jackson highlighted, are all the components that contribute to and increase a person’s self-esteem.
In the beginning, everything seems perfect. It’s all the validation and affirmation you’ve been secretly waiting for. But then, the relationship takes a sudden turn and you might begin to question your judgment, grilling yourself over why you missed all the signs.
According to Ami Kaplan, LCSW, a psychotherapist in New York City, anyone is capable of love bombing, but it’s most often a symptom of narcissistic personality disorder.
Love bombing can be incredibly detrimental to your mental health because it is a form of emotional abuse.
Jackson said it has everything to do with the law of reciprocity. “If someone gives you something, you feel that you owe them something equal or greater in return. So if your partner is giving you excessive love and attention, you feel like you have to give this behavior, dedication, or ‘loyalty’ in return despite the red flags you experience.”
This guy was going to fall in love with his ‘soulmate’ but then fell right out of it
Not to mention the one who had no intentions of cheating… For a whole 5 days
The trend also showed what happens when ‘nice guys’ get rejected
And completely change their tone
Coming back to Cadigan, the person who probably popularized this, let’s call it, challenge the most, she decided to share the texts online because she wanted to accentuate how ridiculous this type of behavior really is.
“I know a lot of people would take those comments to heart and have it really affect them. I am very privileged to say that I don’t struggle with self-image issues and I feel comfortable in my body and who I am,” the woman said.
“I felt like if I put this out there in such a way where I conveyed that he was the problem, not I, then maybe others might take note if something like this ever happens (or happened) to them. Succinctly put, I wanted to advertise not tearing yourself down, even if the person you hold dear says nasty things about you/your appearance. They are the ones who have some fixing to do, not you.”
But after her TikTok went viral, the guy texted her again.
As for Cadigan, the man she was dating contacted her one more time
Only it was her who had the last laugh
523Kviews
Share on FacebookIt's astonishing and depressing to me how many men are entitled as*holes who turn instantly rude and insulting when they don't get what they want. Millions of parents doing a poor job of raising decent humans. It's exhausting.
From now on, any time a guy done this, the woman needs to respond, yup I am fat and ugly and still have no desire to date you, so what does that say about you?
Load More Replies...Maybe women should just go on a strike and ignore men for like a year or two... that might fix this.
Damn that honestly sounds like a good idea. The great ‘I’m finding myself’ movement
Load More Replies...I feel like the first guy was trying to say 'can we just be friends?' but didn't have the emotional vocabulary to understand that he could really enjoy the company of another human, who happened to be female, without being sexually attracted to her. Or else in his world if you aren't actively trying to insert your penis into any woman in your vicinity you are failure as a man.
Honestly, I read it as "I don't want a relationship with you but if you're ever out, preferably after the club closes, my penis might magically work for you".
Load More Replies...As a gay man I'd like to point out....they do this s**t too. One of them still stalks me under new profiles just to try to get me to like him then turn around and tell me to go harm myself. It's amusing to *me* bc I've been dead inside since I was 5 anyway, but worries me what guys like that could do to ppl with much more delicate feelings and emotions. I'm living proof you can't choose your orientation or else I'd make it where the only man I ever have to deal w again is the dude behind the gas station counter LIGHTNING FAST. 😒
🫶. Stay strong and safe. That dude sounds dangerous on all levels
Load More Replies...Thank god for making me lesbian. Interacting with men sounds exhausting.
Same. That entire thread was so sad and disgusting at the same time. I am literally baffled that people think that sort of behavior is ok??
Load More Replies...I believe these cuz I once put on a dating profile that I wasn't interested in sex and I had 5 diff guys say "ur ugly anyway" "looks like you'll be alone forever" "no one is gonna want u". Glad boys only think about women as sex objects. Good job kids! 👍🏻
Men say that because they think if they tear you down, you'll be easier to get. When my ex said I'll never find anyone else after we broke up, I laughed at him because that was hysterical. Not too long afterward, I met my future husband.
Load More Replies...Women can be cruel too. My brother dated a woman who told him she didn't like him because he had a slouch, and now he's really insecure about it. There is nothing wrong with just saying that you're not interested in general
I feel like you're saying that it's okay to treat women this way because some women are AH too. Tell your brother that when someone is cruel to him, it's not about him at all, it's about the person being cruel. But even if it were true? Everyone is different. The right woman will think his slouch is cute.
Load More Replies...Not gunna lie ladies, a lot of us men r selfish, petty, lying machines. Be careful out there...
You mean people, us people are selfish, petty, lying machines.
Load More Replies...A coworker of mine was sexually assaulted by a male relative when she was young, because of it she was left with severe PTSD and feels uncomfortable around older men. Another man made sexual comments to two of my coworkers (both to coworkers of mine that were women). A friend of mine had an ex boyfriend that turned out to be a pedophile, while another friend of mine (under 18) ended an abusive relationship recently.
Good on them for leaving those pathetic excuses. That's actually why I'm worried about dating in general now, seems child SO charges are extremely common and prominent now and I don't want to be connected to anyone whos ever done it, it disgusts me to my core. Especially cuz my foster grandfather has a charge and my female cousin was molested at 11 by some 15 year old and my other friends decided to defend him cuz "he's 15 he prolly didn't understand". Absolutely disgusting I hope that kid gets hit by a vehicle.
Load More Replies..."I really like f-ing you" is not a compliment it's a giant red flag.
They said "I really f-ing like you" not I really like f-ing you 😂
Load More Replies...This happens all the time on dating apps. Guy: hey sexy Me: hi Guy: what's your address? Me: I'm not telling you that. Guy: don't you want me to come over? Me: not after 2 messages. Guy: whatever. You're a fat ugly s**t and I'd never f**k you anyway. Me: you sure wanted to 2 seconds ago. I've had this exact conversation dozens of times.
Jeez, these people must really be like 12 and stealing mom's phone when she's not looking. That's what I would like to believe, at least... 🙄
Load More Replies...Sounds like he wanted friends with benefits - soooo 15 minutes ago. Date yourself for a while, become self contained. Besides …. Do you want a generic guy, or a multidimensional man.
I’m not sure there are any multidimensional men on this planet. I never met one. Men are simple creatures at heart.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of my first post-divorce date over 2.5 years ago. Matched online. He disappeared after chatting a bit only to resurface 2 months later after he had dated someone else. Met for dinner where I tried to engage him in conversation but whatever was on the tv was more important, apparently. After dinner he canceled the movie portion (thank god) and then proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with me. Icing on the cake? I’ve been happily committed to someone I met shortly after that dreadful night… and we now work together- where I’m in a higher level position making way more than him. Even better?? I don’t think he is smart enough to put two and two together to remember we went on a date! 😂
It's usually an impulsive, unplanned and thought out 'go for the jugular' response that results from a male having his ego, pride and potential sex life cut down. At that moment the same primal thinking that causes 2 blokes who bump into one another on a drunken night out & automatically start throwing punches; verbally attacking a female over such instances as a breakup is the equivalent of this - just replacing the physical assault with a verbal onslaught. Often followed by instant regret, embarrassment & a realisation of what a wanker one's stooped to by attacking the 2 main concerns males know women hold dear; their appearance & their weight - Rarely what's said is in any way personal, as they would say the same thing to any female, regardless of her size and look. Its the neanderthal mindset that takes hold and goes into attack mode in the hope they may leave from this situation having restored a little of that pride lost by being rejected or turned down. Fox & the Grapes.
Why blame the neanderthals? Pretty sure this gross behavior is all homosapiens as men with little to no neanderthal DNA still behave like this. Thanks to DNA testing like 23 & me it's pretty obviously not due to their influence..... Nice try, but men are either gonna have to take personal responsibility for having destroyed the world and making everything suck while they've been in charge or find a better scapegoat.....
Load More Replies...This certainly is not exclusive to men. Though the coming back with "you're ugly and I didn't like you anyway" does seem to be more of a guy thing, and I don't get it. Or maybe it's not just a guy thing and it's just that girls share more often, I really don't know. Anyway but yeah, these are pretty awful, you're allowed to have feelings change but this sure isn't the way to go about it.
There's certainly "nice" guys AND "nice" girls, but the problem is that this guys, an even not just only the "nice" guys, usually look for girls in a more sexual way, while, as a reflex, this "nice" girls always say something like offering sex or beauty. But it wouldn't work the other way around, because, the most of the time, girls have so much more expectations to fulfill in a regular basis, like clothes, smells, body, makeup...
Load More Replies...She missed a golden opportunity. When she said "no I'll keep it up" she should have tossed in "unlike you".
Ok, but come on now, women pull this s**t too. Let’s not just vilify men here.
There are shallow women, but shallow, weiner-brained men seems to be the norm. You don't see women standing around loudly judging men walking by, cat calling or name calling according to appearance. Guys do this regularly, particularly around bars, sports events, colleges, in school, pretty much any where. I've seen grown a*s men do this at a funeral! ‐.‐
Load More Replies...This is why I don't trust people who are all 'You're all I ever wanted' and 'soulmate'-this and 'forever in my heart'-that. Call me insensitive or overly suspicious but I just don't believe words like these. Not because I was fooled somewhere in the past, I just don't think these words are words that anybody can stand by. It's like making promises that are impossible to keep. Tell me you love me, tell me how you feel about me but don't go around pretending we're perfect people incapable of making mistakes or changing the way we feel about things. Prove to me that you want to be good for me and I'll prove to you I want to be good for you, that's all I need.
A guy I was dating called me and started this speach about how we need to end things because he wants to have a weding and kids and I dont... I was like "ok we didnt talk about this so you cant know what I want, but ok I get it lets end things"... And he was like "no no you dont understand" talked for another 30 minutes, and ended with "I just dont think Im ready for a relationship."
I was dating this guy for a year. He would always tell me how lucky he was to have me, how we were perfect for each other, and how he wanted to marry me eventually. I really loved him. Then h just out of the blue he broke up with me and said i was controlling and he wasn’t ready for commitment. Now I’m left all confused cause i only stayed with him because i thought he wanted me around.
These texts are completely out of context, making it impossible to say one way or another if the men in question are wrong or not. The only way to properly judge the situations would be to be able to see ALL the messages, from both sides. Showing two or three messages, all from one side of the conversation, is absolutely absurd and is in no way a good measure of anything. Articles like this only serve as click bait and are absolute b******t.
Is it really so one sided? Im not so experienced so maybe someone can educate me on that. I just remembered that i once had a crush on a Girl in school but wach time we would need to sit Next to each other (where in the Same class) she just said eww
I'll be real I thought this was gonna be cringe levels of sheer stupidity but this is actually pretty f****d up. Homies got baby d**k syndrome something fierce. Even if all these bozos put all their common sense together they wouldn't have enough for a f*****g gumball. The lesson here kids is never do whippets and jenkem.
Why is it seen as wrong to body shame a woman, but people still use "small penis" as an insult against men?
Load More Replies...I wish I didn’t delete my training wreck of a two week romance that blew up almost exactly like this. This is a sad,scary trend these guys are doing :/
I would love to see all the texts. Some reactions seem as though maybe the girl was too much. Obsessive, overly texts, needy. It’s a major turn off.
I agree that at least one of the convos seems to be missing info. Your response just rubs me the wrong way. Those things can be a major turn off... But some guys are looking for those things. Also, your idea of "overly texts" and someone else's definition can be wildly different. You do know that's it's okay to be a woman that's not like a man though, right? Just because he thinks 2 texts per week is needy, doesn't mean it's not okay for other people. I agree mostly though. I get annoyed by men that are needy and scared by men that are obsessed.
Load More Replies...I'd like to see the gender flipped version of this, or gay ones, for some balance. Yeah sure a lot of guys suck but girls can be equally good at awkward self-esteem crushing dumpings too, let's not exclusively demonise men and pretend otherwise.
There are some nice girl™ videos out there, very fun.
Load More Replies...Admittedly there are boys.. thinking they are men..Like there are girls..thinking they are women..They are Not the one for you. You will end up getting hurt...Learn everything you can about a potential mate..lover..boyfriend/girlfriend..husband/wife..It will save you embarrassment..stress and pain later...Make sure you too are mature enough for a lasting relationship
Me talking to a guy: Oh he's a really nice guy. Him: telling me he thinks he's crushing on me that he's serious about this that he wants to take a real shot at this. Me: I'm kind of on board. Him, four days later: Actually there's some other girl who I prefer so don't f*****g flirt with me. Me: Oh, He's Really a nice guy. Crazy what swapping the placement of two words does.
Why did "slugpost" say she would be mean to some guy in her honor? Being cruel to some random guy just because some other guy was mean is a sexist reaction. How do you think people would react if a guy said "That girl is a b***h! I'm going to be cruel to a random girl in your honor"?
Yeah, I get this a LOT. I just thought it was me, but apparently it's something people think is socially acceptable. I don't understand the whole concept...like is pretending to be really into someone the only way you can get laid or is it some ego boost to make you feel like women still want you? I mean you really don't have to pretend to want to date me for me to have sex with you. If we get along, I enjoy your company, and I'm attracted to you sexually...I would likely have sex with you. There are a hell of a lot more important boxes to check in order for me to actually date you so personally, I don't consider a serious commitment and sex to be mutually exclusive. Would I prefer it to be that simple? Sure, but that's not realistic. There are plenty of people that I would sleep with(not that I do), but not date. No emotional bait and switch necessary...
Young women don't understand men. When they "Love Bomb" you, it's because they don't know it's just Lust and Testosterone fueling a manic state. Any older man (30+) is familiar with this feeling and knows it evaporates in months. For some guys it's 9 months to a year. For others it's 3 weeks to a month. The problem is pacing yourself. Wait for real feelings, not this "Love at First Sight" nonsense you've been fed. That goes for guys and ladies. Take your time.
All i got from this is how entitled women are. He deadass said ur hot but i cant have peace with you and she started saying oh no my self esteem humble yourself dawg.
yeah i lived this many years ago before cell phones, texts, and internet. guy fell for me, talked me into transferring to his school, wanted me around all the time, then just as suddenly said i was getting too serious and broke up. funny thing is i was having fun but didn't love him. this isn't new behavior, some guys are just jerks and commitment shy. you are better off without them.
I only consider to analyse the stories were both sides are visible. It's too much convenience to omit your own side. By the way, @kayastablerr was the only one here to do that. Cadigan presented the story one-sided and, when the guy came to ask to take down, she showed her messages. By the way, the guy is an ****ole, I'm not trying to defend anyone here.
I was overweight when I met a guy, we dated, moved in together and got engaged over 5 years. I lost 2 stone and then he told me he didn't find my body attractive because I had belly fat. He did apologise a year later after growing up a bit and we're friends now.
Hopefully none of these women bred with those mutants, there are already way too many of their kind around
I'm almost hearted by these men, as, as a straight man, every a*****e who ditches a hot ticktoker is another fish in my metaphor sea
I don't see why these women had to put up the guy's text, because it's showing that you were invested, and that he got to you, so their giving him unreserved attention. Just go about your day, and block him.
JESUS god-damned Christ on a biscuit what an absolute atrocious excuse for an entitled prick of a "man." How... HOW do these dudes keep getting laid by good looking chicks? Why do you gals put up with this from the get go? Like are you that hard up for attention? No wonder I've been single for a minute. I try to treat a girl with respect and honesty, and she friend zones me. My buddies who are d***s? Drowning in a sea of vagina. And I'm in my thirties. I just don't know anything anymore I suppose.
The behavior of these men is disgusting, but a predictable consequence of the hook-up culture we live in. Sex is treated as a cheap commodity and women are too willing to give away the milk for free. If we were willing to be abstinent, it would quickly reveal which men were interested in a real relationship, and which ones were looking for a temporary play toy.
Mixed feelings. Some of these could use more context. Its not all peaches being a guy in the dating scene. We experience many of the same things. Men can be ugly af when rejected or when they don't know how to properly break things off. I just wish I knew who deemed us the standard for morality? Men can be ignorant, violent and cruel, its been written in stone for thousands of years.
Meanwhile here in reality it happens wayyyy more to men. But no one cares and will attack anyone for even mentioning it. As i fully expect to happen to this comment.
I am not a particularly handsome man, and I'm socially awkward. I'm maybe an Iowa 8, but a California 3. Anyway. I've been ghosted, which sucks. I've been on dates where there's just no chemistry. I went on a date with a woman who decided during the date that she just wasn't ready to date. I was also the villain once and had an emotional affair with another woman while dating my ex. (I remain deeply ashamed of this behavior, and the shame and guilt of my transgression plunged me into a deep depression that quite frankly I deserved, and came out of a better man.) Never, not once, even at my ugliest, did I feel the need to talk down to a woman like that. Even after one girl I liked stood me up three times in a row. I thought some pretty ugly thoughts, but I didn't commit them to SMS because I'm better than that. That's all it takes. Dating is hard whether you're a man or a woman. But I never had a woman talk to me so nastily, not even my ex who had every right to be furious.
Load More Replies...Okay but that isn’t what this post is about, is it??
Load More Replies...It takes an insane amount of bitterness to make a comment like this. Lmfao I’m sure your “multiple male friends” have experienced this. Next time just close the page and go. Not every main post acknowledging a man/men doing bad things is an attack on men. No need to be so fragile.
Load More Replies...No woman wants to date male like you, who is too chickenshit scared to say woman. You aren't worth me calling you a man so you will forever just be a male
Load More Replies...following through". Like, I've been suicidally depressed, some people do actually talk like that, but we can recognize they're assholes. So why, with people far more likely to be abused than abusers, when PDs DEVELOP FROM TRAUMA, do we keep up this narrative of "narcisstic abuse". It isn't a thing. People are either bad or they aren't and a PD doesn't make that any more likely than schizophrenia, or OCD, or depression, or anxiety, or paranoia, or delusions... I'm making sure google news doesn't give me any more notifs for this site and not coming back.
Load More Replies...If that were true, it wouldn't be hard to understand.
Load More Replies...The nice guy comment has incel all over it. "Nice guys" are not entitled to sex.
Load More Replies...It's astonishing and depressing to me how many men are entitled as*holes who turn instantly rude and insulting when they don't get what they want. Millions of parents doing a poor job of raising decent humans. It's exhausting.
From now on, any time a guy done this, the woman needs to respond, yup I am fat and ugly and still have no desire to date you, so what does that say about you?
Load More Replies...Maybe women should just go on a strike and ignore men for like a year or two... that might fix this.
Damn that honestly sounds like a good idea. The great ‘I’m finding myself’ movement
Load More Replies...I feel like the first guy was trying to say 'can we just be friends?' but didn't have the emotional vocabulary to understand that he could really enjoy the company of another human, who happened to be female, without being sexually attracted to her. Or else in his world if you aren't actively trying to insert your penis into any woman in your vicinity you are failure as a man.
Honestly, I read it as "I don't want a relationship with you but if you're ever out, preferably after the club closes, my penis might magically work for you".
Load More Replies...As a gay man I'd like to point out....they do this s**t too. One of them still stalks me under new profiles just to try to get me to like him then turn around and tell me to go harm myself. It's amusing to *me* bc I've been dead inside since I was 5 anyway, but worries me what guys like that could do to ppl with much more delicate feelings and emotions. I'm living proof you can't choose your orientation or else I'd make it where the only man I ever have to deal w again is the dude behind the gas station counter LIGHTNING FAST. 😒
🫶. Stay strong and safe. That dude sounds dangerous on all levels
Load More Replies...Thank god for making me lesbian. Interacting with men sounds exhausting.
Same. That entire thread was so sad and disgusting at the same time. I am literally baffled that people think that sort of behavior is ok??
Load More Replies...I believe these cuz I once put on a dating profile that I wasn't interested in sex and I had 5 diff guys say "ur ugly anyway" "looks like you'll be alone forever" "no one is gonna want u". Glad boys only think about women as sex objects. Good job kids! 👍🏻
Men say that because they think if they tear you down, you'll be easier to get. When my ex said I'll never find anyone else after we broke up, I laughed at him because that was hysterical. Not too long afterward, I met my future husband.
Load More Replies...Women can be cruel too. My brother dated a woman who told him she didn't like him because he had a slouch, and now he's really insecure about it. There is nothing wrong with just saying that you're not interested in general
I feel like you're saying that it's okay to treat women this way because some women are AH too. Tell your brother that when someone is cruel to him, it's not about him at all, it's about the person being cruel. But even if it were true? Everyone is different. The right woman will think his slouch is cute.
Load More Replies...Not gunna lie ladies, a lot of us men r selfish, petty, lying machines. Be careful out there...
You mean people, us people are selfish, petty, lying machines.
Load More Replies...A coworker of mine was sexually assaulted by a male relative when she was young, because of it she was left with severe PTSD and feels uncomfortable around older men. Another man made sexual comments to two of my coworkers (both to coworkers of mine that were women). A friend of mine had an ex boyfriend that turned out to be a pedophile, while another friend of mine (under 18) ended an abusive relationship recently.
Good on them for leaving those pathetic excuses. That's actually why I'm worried about dating in general now, seems child SO charges are extremely common and prominent now and I don't want to be connected to anyone whos ever done it, it disgusts me to my core. Especially cuz my foster grandfather has a charge and my female cousin was molested at 11 by some 15 year old and my other friends decided to defend him cuz "he's 15 he prolly didn't understand". Absolutely disgusting I hope that kid gets hit by a vehicle.
Load More Replies..."I really like f-ing you" is not a compliment it's a giant red flag.
They said "I really f-ing like you" not I really like f-ing you 😂
Load More Replies...This happens all the time on dating apps. Guy: hey sexy Me: hi Guy: what's your address? Me: I'm not telling you that. Guy: don't you want me to come over? Me: not after 2 messages. Guy: whatever. You're a fat ugly s**t and I'd never f**k you anyway. Me: you sure wanted to 2 seconds ago. I've had this exact conversation dozens of times.
Jeez, these people must really be like 12 and stealing mom's phone when she's not looking. That's what I would like to believe, at least... 🙄
Load More Replies...Sounds like he wanted friends with benefits - soooo 15 minutes ago. Date yourself for a while, become self contained. Besides …. Do you want a generic guy, or a multidimensional man.
I’m not sure there are any multidimensional men on this planet. I never met one. Men are simple creatures at heart.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of my first post-divorce date over 2.5 years ago. Matched online. He disappeared after chatting a bit only to resurface 2 months later after he had dated someone else. Met for dinner where I tried to engage him in conversation but whatever was on the tv was more important, apparently. After dinner he canceled the movie portion (thank god) and then proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong with me. Icing on the cake? I’ve been happily committed to someone I met shortly after that dreadful night… and we now work together- where I’m in a higher level position making way more than him. Even better?? I don’t think he is smart enough to put two and two together to remember we went on a date! 😂
It's usually an impulsive, unplanned and thought out 'go for the jugular' response that results from a male having his ego, pride and potential sex life cut down. At that moment the same primal thinking that causes 2 blokes who bump into one another on a drunken night out & automatically start throwing punches; verbally attacking a female over such instances as a breakup is the equivalent of this - just replacing the physical assault with a verbal onslaught. Often followed by instant regret, embarrassment & a realisation of what a wanker one's stooped to by attacking the 2 main concerns males know women hold dear; their appearance & their weight - Rarely what's said is in any way personal, as they would say the same thing to any female, regardless of her size and look. Its the neanderthal mindset that takes hold and goes into attack mode in the hope they may leave from this situation having restored a little of that pride lost by being rejected or turned down. Fox & the Grapes.
Why blame the neanderthals? Pretty sure this gross behavior is all homosapiens as men with little to no neanderthal DNA still behave like this. Thanks to DNA testing like 23 & me it's pretty obviously not due to their influence..... Nice try, but men are either gonna have to take personal responsibility for having destroyed the world and making everything suck while they've been in charge or find a better scapegoat.....
Load More Replies...This certainly is not exclusive to men. Though the coming back with "you're ugly and I didn't like you anyway" does seem to be more of a guy thing, and I don't get it. Or maybe it's not just a guy thing and it's just that girls share more often, I really don't know. Anyway but yeah, these are pretty awful, you're allowed to have feelings change but this sure isn't the way to go about it.
There's certainly "nice" guys AND "nice" girls, but the problem is that this guys, an even not just only the "nice" guys, usually look for girls in a more sexual way, while, as a reflex, this "nice" girls always say something like offering sex or beauty. But it wouldn't work the other way around, because, the most of the time, girls have so much more expectations to fulfill in a regular basis, like clothes, smells, body, makeup...
Load More Replies...She missed a golden opportunity. When she said "no I'll keep it up" she should have tossed in "unlike you".
Ok, but come on now, women pull this s**t too. Let’s not just vilify men here.
There are shallow women, but shallow, weiner-brained men seems to be the norm. You don't see women standing around loudly judging men walking by, cat calling or name calling according to appearance. Guys do this regularly, particularly around bars, sports events, colleges, in school, pretty much any where. I've seen grown a*s men do this at a funeral! ‐.‐
Load More Replies...This is why I don't trust people who are all 'You're all I ever wanted' and 'soulmate'-this and 'forever in my heart'-that. Call me insensitive or overly suspicious but I just don't believe words like these. Not because I was fooled somewhere in the past, I just don't think these words are words that anybody can stand by. It's like making promises that are impossible to keep. Tell me you love me, tell me how you feel about me but don't go around pretending we're perfect people incapable of making mistakes or changing the way we feel about things. Prove to me that you want to be good for me and I'll prove to you I want to be good for you, that's all I need.
A guy I was dating called me and started this speach about how we need to end things because he wants to have a weding and kids and I dont... I was like "ok we didnt talk about this so you cant know what I want, but ok I get it lets end things"... And he was like "no no you dont understand" talked for another 30 minutes, and ended with "I just dont think Im ready for a relationship."
I was dating this guy for a year. He would always tell me how lucky he was to have me, how we were perfect for each other, and how he wanted to marry me eventually. I really loved him. Then h just out of the blue he broke up with me and said i was controlling and he wasn’t ready for commitment. Now I’m left all confused cause i only stayed with him because i thought he wanted me around.
These texts are completely out of context, making it impossible to say one way or another if the men in question are wrong or not. The only way to properly judge the situations would be to be able to see ALL the messages, from both sides. Showing two or three messages, all from one side of the conversation, is absolutely absurd and is in no way a good measure of anything. Articles like this only serve as click bait and are absolute b******t.
Is it really so one sided? Im not so experienced so maybe someone can educate me on that. I just remembered that i once had a crush on a Girl in school but wach time we would need to sit Next to each other (where in the Same class) she just said eww
I'll be real I thought this was gonna be cringe levels of sheer stupidity but this is actually pretty f****d up. Homies got baby d**k syndrome something fierce. Even if all these bozos put all their common sense together they wouldn't have enough for a f*****g gumball. The lesson here kids is never do whippets and jenkem.
Why is it seen as wrong to body shame a woman, but people still use "small penis" as an insult against men?
Load More Replies...I wish I didn’t delete my training wreck of a two week romance that blew up almost exactly like this. This is a sad,scary trend these guys are doing :/
I would love to see all the texts. Some reactions seem as though maybe the girl was too much. Obsessive, overly texts, needy. It’s a major turn off.
I agree that at least one of the convos seems to be missing info. Your response just rubs me the wrong way. Those things can be a major turn off... But some guys are looking for those things. Also, your idea of "overly texts" and someone else's definition can be wildly different. You do know that's it's okay to be a woman that's not like a man though, right? Just because he thinks 2 texts per week is needy, doesn't mean it's not okay for other people. I agree mostly though. I get annoyed by men that are needy and scared by men that are obsessed.
Load More Replies...I'd like to see the gender flipped version of this, or gay ones, for some balance. Yeah sure a lot of guys suck but girls can be equally good at awkward self-esteem crushing dumpings too, let's not exclusively demonise men and pretend otherwise.
There are some nice girl™ videos out there, very fun.
Load More Replies...Admittedly there are boys.. thinking they are men..Like there are girls..thinking they are women..They are Not the one for you. You will end up getting hurt...Learn everything you can about a potential mate..lover..boyfriend/girlfriend..husband/wife..It will save you embarrassment..stress and pain later...Make sure you too are mature enough for a lasting relationship
Me talking to a guy: Oh he's a really nice guy. Him: telling me he thinks he's crushing on me that he's serious about this that he wants to take a real shot at this. Me: I'm kind of on board. Him, four days later: Actually there's some other girl who I prefer so don't f*****g flirt with me. Me: Oh, He's Really a nice guy. Crazy what swapping the placement of two words does.
Why did "slugpost" say she would be mean to some guy in her honor? Being cruel to some random guy just because some other guy was mean is a sexist reaction. How do you think people would react if a guy said "That girl is a b***h! I'm going to be cruel to a random girl in your honor"?
Yeah, I get this a LOT. I just thought it was me, but apparently it's something people think is socially acceptable. I don't understand the whole concept...like is pretending to be really into someone the only way you can get laid or is it some ego boost to make you feel like women still want you? I mean you really don't have to pretend to want to date me for me to have sex with you. If we get along, I enjoy your company, and I'm attracted to you sexually...I would likely have sex with you. There are a hell of a lot more important boxes to check in order for me to actually date you so personally, I don't consider a serious commitment and sex to be mutually exclusive. Would I prefer it to be that simple? Sure, but that's not realistic. There are plenty of people that I would sleep with(not that I do), but not date. No emotional bait and switch necessary...
Young women don't understand men. When they "Love Bomb" you, it's because they don't know it's just Lust and Testosterone fueling a manic state. Any older man (30+) is familiar with this feeling and knows it evaporates in months. For some guys it's 9 months to a year. For others it's 3 weeks to a month. The problem is pacing yourself. Wait for real feelings, not this "Love at First Sight" nonsense you've been fed. That goes for guys and ladies. Take your time.
All i got from this is how entitled women are. He deadass said ur hot but i cant have peace with you and she started saying oh no my self esteem humble yourself dawg.
yeah i lived this many years ago before cell phones, texts, and internet. guy fell for me, talked me into transferring to his school, wanted me around all the time, then just as suddenly said i was getting too serious and broke up. funny thing is i was having fun but didn't love him. this isn't new behavior, some guys are just jerks and commitment shy. you are better off without them.
I only consider to analyse the stories were both sides are visible. It's too much convenience to omit your own side. By the way, @kayastablerr was the only one here to do that. Cadigan presented the story one-sided and, when the guy came to ask to take down, she showed her messages. By the way, the guy is an ****ole, I'm not trying to defend anyone here.
I was overweight when I met a guy, we dated, moved in together and got engaged over 5 years. I lost 2 stone and then he told me he didn't find my body attractive because I had belly fat. He did apologise a year later after growing up a bit and we're friends now.
Hopefully none of these women bred with those mutants, there are already way too many of their kind around
I'm almost hearted by these men, as, as a straight man, every a*****e who ditches a hot ticktoker is another fish in my metaphor sea
I don't see why these women had to put up the guy's text, because it's showing that you were invested, and that he got to you, so their giving him unreserved attention. Just go about your day, and block him.
JESUS god-damned Christ on a biscuit what an absolute atrocious excuse for an entitled prick of a "man." How... HOW do these dudes keep getting laid by good looking chicks? Why do you gals put up with this from the get go? Like are you that hard up for attention? No wonder I've been single for a minute. I try to treat a girl with respect and honesty, and she friend zones me. My buddies who are d***s? Drowning in a sea of vagina. And I'm in my thirties. I just don't know anything anymore I suppose.
The behavior of these men is disgusting, but a predictable consequence of the hook-up culture we live in. Sex is treated as a cheap commodity and women are too willing to give away the milk for free. If we were willing to be abstinent, it would quickly reveal which men were interested in a real relationship, and which ones were looking for a temporary play toy.
Mixed feelings. Some of these could use more context. Its not all peaches being a guy in the dating scene. We experience many of the same things. Men can be ugly af when rejected or when they don't know how to properly break things off. I just wish I knew who deemed us the standard for morality? Men can be ignorant, violent and cruel, its been written in stone for thousands of years.
Meanwhile here in reality it happens wayyyy more to men. But no one cares and will attack anyone for even mentioning it. As i fully expect to happen to this comment.
I am not a particularly handsome man, and I'm socially awkward. I'm maybe an Iowa 8, but a California 3. Anyway. I've been ghosted, which sucks. I've been on dates where there's just no chemistry. I went on a date with a woman who decided during the date that she just wasn't ready to date. I was also the villain once and had an emotional affair with another woman while dating my ex. (I remain deeply ashamed of this behavior, and the shame and guilt of my transgression plunged me into a deep depression that quite frankly I deserved, and came out of a better man.) Never, not once, even at my ugliest, did I feel the need to talk down to a woman like that. Even after one girl I liked stood me up three times in a row. I thought some pretty ugly thoughts, but I didn't commit them to SMS because I'm better than that. That's all it takes. Dating is hard whether you're a man or a woman. But I never had a woman talk to me so nastily, not even my ex who had every right to be furious.
Load More Replies...Okay but that isn’t what this post is about, is it??
Load More Replies...It takes an insane amount of bitterness to make a comment like this. Lmfao I’m sure your “multiple male friends” have experienced this. Next time just close the page and go. Not every main post acknowledging a man/men doing bad things is an attack on men. No need to be so fragile.
Load More Replies...No woman wants to date male like you, who is too chickenshit scared to say woman. You aren't worth me calling you a man so you will forever just be a male
Load More Replies...following through". Like, I've been suicidally depressed, some people do actually talk like that, but we can recognize they're assholes. So why, with people far more likely to be abused than abusers, when PDs DEVELOP FROM TRAUMA, do we keep up this narrative of "narcisstic abuse". It isn't a thing. People are either bad or they aren't and a PD doesn't make that any more likely than schizophrenia, or OCD, or depression, or anxiety, or paranoia, or delusions... I'm making sure google news doesn't give me any more notifs for this site and not coming back.
Load More Replies...If that were true, it wouldn't be hard to understand.
Load More Replies...The nice guy comment has incel all over it. "Nice guys" are not entitled to sex.
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