Dude Ditches Date At Restaurant After Finding Out She’s Kinda Racist, Asks People Online If He Was Wrong To Do So
Asking someone on a date is exciting as well as nerve-racking. It is not only important to make a good first impression of yourself but also to take a good look at how your date acts in front of others. Their attitude and the way they treat others can say a lot about their personality and their manners. One Reddit user @Ankit1000 decided to share his experience of inviting a woman that he liked on a date. The man shared that this one date was enough to paint a picture of who she was. By sharing his story that received more than 13k upvotes, the guy also wanted to know if he did the right thing by deciding to ditch his date without giving her an explanation.
More Info: Reddit
Asking someone on a date is an exciting experience as you never know where this acquaintance can lead
Image credits: Jirka Matousek (not the actual photo)
The man started his story by revealing that he decided to ask out a woman he met at a gym. The narrator decided to take her to a Korean restaurant that had barbeque stations. The couple had a pleasant conversation and once their table was ready, the woman didn’t quite understand why there was a grill ready, and the man explained to her why it was there because apparently, she didn’t know what that was for. She wasn’t happy with the answer and even asked the man why they had to do everything themselves. He then said that they could choose something from the menu if she didn’t find it fun to try the barbeque. The woman said that it was fine, but then made their waiter do everything for them. This was one of the things that didn’t sit well with the narrator.
One Reddit user decided to share his dating experience that didn’t go that well
Image credits: Ankit1000
He took his date to a Korean restaurant thinking that they would have a great time together
Image credits: Ankit1000
However, he was in for a surprise when he first noticed how entitled and rude this woman was
Image credits: Ankit1000
The man, who later shared that he is Indian, saw some “red flags” but didn’t want to end the evening. At this point, the couple decided to order some desserts, and this is when the man really understood that this woman is racist. Once they got their menus to look at desserts, the woman started rambling about how horrible this restaurant was, calling the staff useless immigrants who are here to use their money. The woman was so loud that she was heard by other guests in the restaurant. But this didn’t stop her from continuing with her insults. At this point, her date didn’t even try to hide his surprise, and seeing this, the woman who didn’t know that he was Indian and thought he was a Latino assured him that he was fine in her eyes.
Image credits: Ankit1000
The woman kept criticizing and belittling the staff and other guests, showing how racist she is
Image credits: Ankit1000
The disastrous night ended up when the narrator stood up after the meal to go to the bathroom, paid his check, and left his date alone at the table. This is when the man feels that he may have the wrong thing: he was the one who took the woman to the restaurant and had now left her without a ride and also blocked her number, even considering switching gyms just to avoid contact with her. A lot of people online understood why he did this and supported his decision. Some even thought that he was nice enough to pay for their meals even though she didn’t deserve this.
What do you think about this situation? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
The woman didn’t even know that her date was Indian and was appalled by her behavior when she thought he was Latino
Image credits: Ankit1000
After they were done eating, the man decided to leave his date by telling her he was going to the bathroom
Image credits: Ankit1000
For a lot of people, this behavior might seem shocking as sometimes the cases of racism are less obvious. In this situation, the woman showed her true colors right away by not trying to mask her thoughts and opinions about some people. Despite the fact that some might think that it is just name-calling and it isn’t harmful, this may lead to more severe forms of abuse: physical violence and harassment. This situation also shows that racism can happen in any place: in the workplace, school, restaurant, and even on the street. And sometimes it may be not seen right away, hidden in a form of discrimination.
Having in mind how quickly this story gained everyone’s interest, the man added a few comments to explain the situation better
Image credits: Ankit1000
Even though the man left his date without a ride, people online were on this side
153Kviews
Share on FacebookSometimes people don't realize that they are being d***s until someone calmly and clearly tells them that they are. You're under no obligation to do this, but that could have been a teachable moment for her, one she might remember for the rest of her life. Instead she's going to file this under "that one time this rando dude ghosted me, i don't know why."
You have a point, however that's under the assumption the date would've been able to reflect on her behaviour, which I doubt she'd be able to do if all you have to say about Latin-Americans is "I love Mexican food".
Load More Replies...Definitely not an arsehole for not putting up with her racism but he's a bit of a k**b about her not knowing what Korean BBQ is.
Yeah, I've never been to a Korean BBQ nor know what they look like. I have been to a Fondu place a couple times and commented on the price and the fact that you have to cook your own food. (It's like $40 per person 😬). I can also see how she might be uncomfortable with cooking her own food... I'm self taught in cooking and not sure I would feel like I can cook my own unfamiliar food in a strange place. But her comments after that were terrible.
Load More Replies...NTA. I know the word you're talking about, i'm halfcast and was called that word constantly when growing up in Scotland. You did just fine, you paid the bill, left quietly and left it at that. You could have argued with her and made a scene, but if she was this obtuse of a person, you were never going to get her to see reason about her opinions. If you'd like to clear your conscience about being a gentleman, you can send her a very brief text explaining why you ditched her and don't want to see her again, but wish her well in her search for love. Then walk away. If you're in New Mexico i'll take you out for dinner to clear this crappy memory. We'll have some timepass.
What a f*****g jerk. Sadly most of us migrants will never be seen as equals or even people by many many xenophobic idiots. When I was studying/working I already needing to hear a lot of crap about migrants "not working and living off our taxes". Now that I am disabled I cannot imagine what most people think about me. Not that I get any help at all from the government (the opposite) but I am sure that for those jerks I am the "proof" that all migrants are lazy and dont want to work.
Ugh I can't stand xenophobic people either and I'm white. I'd rather someone like you then a racist any day. Don't blame the guy for ditching the racist girl.
Load More Replies...NYA. But as a Brit, I've never heard of a Korean BBQ. Sounds cool, I'd be up for it. Would enjoy the fun experience. But she still sounds like a k**b.
Same (I'm a Brit). Although I'm vegetarian so wouldn't be interested in ANY BBQ.
Load More Replies...It started out ok, I could understand not knowing what a Korean BBQ was and I would also definitely not appreciate having to do my own barbecuing (especially not in a restaurant), but it went downhill FAST! Good on him for leaving her there. He did pay the bill, so she just needed to get an Uber. I'm sure she could manage that.
not only is she a racist but stupid as well i mean the thing she said all these immigrants coming here and working eating up tax dollars surely if they are working they are paying tax dollars so not quite sure about her logic there definitely dodged bullet there
She's racist she isn't particularly smart is she. I wonder if she works.
Load More Replies...At first, I didn't think she seemed racist, just rude until I heard her sh*t on Asian/brown immigrants at the end
Her issue isn't with immigrants. It's with brown and black immigrants. I am sure she wouldn't have even assumed a white British immigrant wasn't American. Human migration has existed for centuries which means it's more natural to human beings than borders and jingoism.
She's definitely gross. But I think he should have at least let her know he was leaving and why. I would've loved to see the look on her face when he said "Actually I'm Indian and this whole thing offends me." Maybe she could learn something from that. Or maybe not. But what concerns me, my grandmother always told me to bring money on a date in case something happened. But what if hers didn't? I'm worried about her getting safely home. No matter how gross someone is you should make sure they can get home safe. But maybe I'm old fashioned.
WoW....Well atleast we know why she went out with you...you latino loverboy!
While I don't practice racism, and don't like people who do, I do have to claim absolute ignorance as to Korean bbq. It isn't something that existed in my home state-city, nor does such restaurant exist here where I live in middle America now, so I'd be awfully embarrassed going to one, having no clue at all what's entailed. I'd gladly learn, but again, wouldn't want to go if I was going to embarrass anyone else! Not defending the woman this young man told about, just saying that I wouldn't have a clue what to do.
I've never heard of Korean BBQ but I would probably ask questions about it. If it was too much for me, I'd accept the offer of the a la carte menu. Just ditching her without calling her out is a lost opportunity to let her know that her comments were way out of line. In her view, OP is the bad guy for ditching her without a word. At the least he could have told that he was Indian and he was not the slur. In any case, OP NAH.
I wouldn't do the Korean BBQ but only because I'm vegetarian not because I have anything against self service. Only thing OP should have done differently is telling her he's leaving because he doesn't date racists and is offended by her behaviour.
Load More Replies...As a Mexican the remark she made pissed me the hell off. (And the lady was already making me mad.) ¨I don't mean Latinos. I love Mexican food.¨ Excuse me what does ¨Mexican¨ food have to do with a race?
I don't understand why he felt he had to sit down with the date and make the elderly and very busy waitress cook the food just because she refused. He is the one who made the reservation and knew what type of restaurant it was going in. He can't lay all of the blame on the date for making the worker do it for the both of them. All of the other stuff is on her and leaving her there alone was fine to do though.
Is it just me or why he was sooo scared to stand up for himself? I'd rather say out loudly, before the dessert, my honest response to her behaviour. Not even to clarify for the rest of the guests but also to make her feel bad. I'd not be vulgar or super angry, just the opposite. Calmly and very clearly. I find it silly to run away and block her number. She didn't get the right feedback at all.
Maybe he felt uncomfortable and didn't want to deal with her reaction maybe?
Load More Replies...I think they are both assholes. She is for obvious reasons. He is for assuming that one dinner is going to get him laid. He is for saying nothing about her racist comments. He is for abandoning a woman alone when he is her ride. He should have said he was leaving, or at least written a note if he was too chicken to do that, and left her money for a taxi. Just because someone is an a-hole, doesn't mean you have to be one too.
He‘s not obligated to pay for her taxi bill. She‘s a grown woman, who can go home by herself or she can call someone to pick her up. He already paid her restaurant bill.
Load More Replies...I only know of Korean BBQ because of Popehat on Twitter. Love to try it sometime.
ON the other hand, THIS rings enormous and loud bells, "I wasn't going to sleep with her after I actually got to know her." (Whatever he actually meant by that!) Let say she was lucky she found our what a creep he was before any more to do with him. And I am not racist -- we are a multiracial extended family -- but courtesy and consideration go beyond racial boundaries.
BUT, I have eaten at Korean restaurants here (Australia) and NEVER NEVER had a brazier on the table, OR be expected to cook my own meal. I'm sure if someone asked me out to dinner at Restaurant, and provided an brazier on the table, I'd simply excuse myself. The bloke was really really out of line. First date, don't choose something novel. Or even, HORRORS, ask her what she would like! Dork. I also think, if she was 'racist' she would not have accepted and invite from an Indian (unless she too Indian). Personally I would advise the bloke to NOT assume that a woman has to accept everything YOU want.
She thought he was Latina. And he liked the restaurant and didn't know she was racist and entitled. He is not a creep just because he wants sex. Most men want sex. She's the creep because she's racist and also extremely entitled.
Load More Replies...I think you owed it to her (and everybody else) to drive her home, and tell her, why you wouldn't have any more to do with somone like her. Because you did not like her behavior. No decent person would accept such a behavoir. Personally I would have felt the urge to apologize for her at the restaurant, but since you took her there, the decent thing would have been to take her home afterwards.
If she was unfamiliar with the way the food was to be prepared and he didn’t rescue her by saying oh don’t worry I will handle the cooking for us then he’s a jerk. She felt uncomfortable and said abhorrent things because the situation was heightened by her discomfort. Fortunately, you were able to glean her true self and she was able to escape your shallow motivations before it went any further. Win/ win.
She said abhorrent things because she's racist. He did explain to her how it worked and that they could order off the menu.
Load More Replies...Your NTA but you are kinda a wimp to not call her out on her s**t. I understand you didn’t like her after getting to know her but you should still behave better then she did and not stoop to her shitty level. Plus now what? People learn from conflict and directness. She’s gonna continue to be a racist asshole and nothing changed or had the potential to change except your gym schedule.
Pretty cowardly behaviour. MAN up and politely and firmly inform your date why you think her behaviour or attitude is wrong, then pay and go. Don't be a wuss - if you are silent, you neither educate nor give the other person a chance to reform - that makes you no better than her.
NTA. I would have paid the bill and tell the waitress to tell the date bill has not payed for yet. That makes her pay the same bill again. The restaurant get paid twice for putting up with such an entitled Karen. Her loss, their gain.
Dude! You could've taken the high road and be honest with her , be the better person and see her through to her hose; or take the fun road, tell her you're rich, sleep with her and THEN ghost her!
Sometimes people don't realize that they are being d***s until someone calmly and clearly tells them that they are. You're under no obligation to do this, but that could have been a teachable moment for her, one she might remember for the rest of her life. Instead she's going to file this under "that one time this rando dude ghosted me, i don't know why."
You have a point, however that's under the assumption the date would've been able to reflect on her behaviour, which I doubt she'd be able to do if all you have to say about Latin-Americans is "I love Mexican food".
Load More Replies...Definitely not an arsehole for not putting up with her racism but he's a bit of a k**b about her not knowing what Korean BBQ is.
Yeah, I've never been to a Korean BBQ nor know what they look like. I have been to a Fondu place a couple times and commented on the price and the fact that you have to cook your own food. (It's like $40 per person 😬). I can also see how she might be uncomfortable with cooking her own food... I'm self taught in cooking and not sure I would feel like I can cook my own unfamiliar food in a strange place. But her comments after that were terrible.
Load More Replies...NTA. I know the word you're talking about, i'm halfcast and was called that word constantly when growing up in Scotland. You did just fine, you paid the bill, left quietly and left it at that. You could have argued with her and made a scene, but if she was this obtuse of a person, you were never going to get her to see reason about her opinions. If you'd like to clear your conscience about being a gentleman, you can send her a very brief text explaining why you ditched her and don't want to see her again, but wish her well in her search for love. Then walk away. If you're in New Mexico i'll take you out for dinner to clear this crappy memory. We'll have some timepass.
What a f*****g jerk. Sadly most of us migrants will never be seen as equals or even people by many many xenophobic idiots. When I was studying/working I already needing to hear a lot of crap about migrants "not working and living off our taxes". Now that I am disabled I cannot imagine what most people think about me. Not that I get any help at all from the government (the opposite) but I am sure that for those jerks I am the "proof" that all migrants are lazy and dont want to work.
Ugh I can't stand xenophobic people either and I'm white. I'd rather someone like you then a racist any day. Don't blame the guy for ditching the racist girl.
Load More Replies...NYA. But as a Brit, I've never heard of a Korean BBQ. Sounds cool, I'd be up for it. Would enjoy the fun experience. But she still sounds like a k**b.
Same (I'm a Brit). Although I'm vegetarian so wouldn't be interested in ANY BBQ.
Load More Replies...It started out ok, I could understand not knowing what a Korean BBQ was and I would also definitely not appreciate having to do my own barbecuing (especially not in a restaurant), but it went downhill FAST! Good on him for leaving her there. He did pay the bill, so she just needed to get an Uber. I'm sure she could manage that.
not only is she a racist but stupid as well i mean the thing she said all these immigrants coming here and working eating up tax dollars surely if they are working they are paying tax dollars so not quite sure about her logic there definitely dodged bullet there
She's racist she isn't particularly smart is she. I wonder if she works.
Load More Replies...At first, I didn't think she seemed racist, just rude until I heard her sh*t on Asian/brown immigrants at the end
Her issue isn't with immigrants. It's with brown and black immigrants. I am sure she wouldn't have even assumed a white British immigrant wasn't American. Human migration has existed for centuries which means it's more natural to human beings than borders and jingoism.
She's definitely gross. But I think he should have at least let her know he was leaving and why. I would've loved to see the look on her face when he said "Actually I'm Indian and this whole thing offends me." Maybe she could learn something from that. Or maybe not. But what concerns me, my grandmother always told me to bring money on a date in case something happened. But what if hers didn't? I'm worried about her getting safely home. No matter how gross someone is you should make sure they can get home safe. But maybe I'm old fashioned.
WoW....Well atleast we know why she went out with you...you latino loverboy!
While I don't practice racism, and don't like people who do, I do have to claim absolute ignorance as to Korean bbq. It isn't something that existed in my home state-city, nor does such restaurant exist here where I live in middle America now, so I'd be awfully embarrassed going to one, having no clue at all what's entailed. I'd gladly learn, but again, wouldn't want to go if I was going to embarrass anyone else! Not defending the woman this young man told about, just saying that I wouldn't have a clue what to do.
I've never heard of Korean BBQ but I would probably ask questions about it. If it was too much for me, I'd accept the offer of the a la carte menu. Just ditching her without calling her out is a lost opportunity to let her know that her comments were way out of line. In her view, OP is the bad guy for ditching her without a word. At the least he could have told that he was Indian and he was not the slur. In any case, OP NAH.
I wouldn't do the Korean BBQ but only because I'm vegetarian not because I have anything against self service. Only thing OP should have done differently is telling her he's leaving because he doesn't date racists and is offended by her behaviour.
Load More Replies...As a Mexican the remark she made pissed me the hell off. (And the lady was already making me mad.) ¨I don't mean Latinos. I love Mexican food.¨ Excuse me what does ¨Mexican¨ food have to do with a race?
I don't understand why he felt he had to sit down with the date and make the elderly and very busy waitress cook the food just because she refused. He is the one who made the reservation and knew what type of restaurant it was going in. He can't lay all of the blame on the date for making the worker do it for the both of them. All of the other stuff is on her and leaving her there alone was fine to do though.
Is it just me or why he was sooo scared to stand up for himself? I'd rather say out loudly, before the dessert, my honest response to her behaviour. Not even to clarify for the rest of the guests but also to make her feel bad. I'd not be vulgar or super angry, just the opposite. Calmly and very clearly. I find it silly to run away and block her number. She didn't get the right feedback at all.
Maybe he felt uncomfortable and didn't want to deal with her reaction maybe?
Load More Replies...I think they are both assholes. She is for obvious reasons. He is for assuming that one dinner is going to get him laid. He is for saying nothing about her racist comments. He is for abandoning a woman alone when he is her ride. He should have said he was leaving, or at least written a note if he was too chicken to do that, and left her money for a taxi. Just because someone is an a-hole, doesn't mean you have to be one too.
He‘s not obligated to pay for her taxi bill. She‘s a grown woman, who can go home by herself or she can call someone to pick her up. He already paid her restaurant bill.
Load More Replies...I only know of Korean BBQ because of Popehat on Twitter. Love to try it sometime.
ON the other hand, THIS rings enormous and loud bells, "I wasn't going to sleep with her after I actually got to know her." (Whatever he actually meant by that!) Let say she was lucky she found our what a creep he was before any more to do with him. And I am not racist -- we are a multiracial extended family -- but courtesy and consideration go beyond racial boundaries.
BUT, I have eaten at Korean restaurants here (Australia) and NEVER NEVER had a brazier on the table, OR be expected to cook my own meal. I'm sure if someone asked me out to dinner at Restaurant, and provided an brazier on the table, I'd simply excuse myself. The bloke was really really out of line. First date, don't choose something novel. Or even, HORRORS, ask her what she would like! Dork. I also think, if she was 'racist' she would not have accepted and invite from an Indian (unless she too Indian). Personally I would advise the bloke to NOT assume that a woman has to accept everything YOU want.
She thought he was Latina. And he liked the restaurant and didn't know she was racist and entitled. He is not a creep just because he wants sex. Most men want sex. She's the creep because she's racist and also extremely entitled.
Load More Replies...I think you owed it to her (and everybody else) to drive her home, and tell her, why you wouldn't have any more to do with somone like her. Because you did not like her behavior. No decent person would accept such a behavoir. Personally I would have felt the urge to apologize for her at the restaurant, but since you took her there, the decent thing would have been to take her home afterwards.
If she was unfamiliar with the way the food was to be prepared and he didn’t rescue her by saying oh don’t worry I will handle the cooking for us then he’s a jerk. She felt uncomfortable and said abhorrent things because the situation was heightened by her discomfort. Fortunately, you were able to glean her true self and she was able to escape your shallow motivations before it went any further. Win/ win.
She said abhorrent things because she's racist. He did explain to her how it worked and that they could order off the menu.
Load More Replies...Your NTA but you are kinda a wimp to not call her out on her s**t. I understand you didn’t like her after getting to know her but you should still behave better then she did and not stoop to her shitty level. Plus now what? People learn from conflict and directness. She’s gonna continue to be a racist asshole and nothing changed or had the potential to change except your gym schedule.
Pretty cowardly behaviour. MAN up and politely and firmly inform your date why you think her behaviour or attitude is wrong, then pay and go. Don't be a wuss - if you are silent, you neither educate nor give the other person a chance to reform - that makes you no better than her.
NTA. I would have paid the bill and tell the waitress to tell the date bill has not payed for yet. That makes her pay the same bill again. The restaurant get paid twice for putting up with such an entitled Karen. Her loss, their gain.
Dude! You could've taken the high road and be honest with her , be the better person and see her through to her hose; or take the fun road, tell her you're rich, sleep with her and THEN ghost her!
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