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How The Danish Talk About Sex To Their Kids And What We Can Learn From Them
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How The Danish Talk About Sex To Their Kids And What We Can Learn From Them

The Danes speak frankly with their kids about sex from a young age, and maybe you should, too. Learning the proper words to use when referring to their bodies “promotes positive body image, self confidence, and parent-child communication.”

Redditor Sara, whose parents immigrated to the US from Denmark, can’t imagine learning about sex any other way. “My parents were always completely open with me about sex,” she wrote on Reddit. “When I asked where babies come from, they told me in the most clinical and simple way you can tell a young child, and showed me a kids’ book which explained all about puberty and sex. [They] even showed a cartoon penis in three stages: about to penetrate, mid-penetration, and fully penetrating and ejaculating.”

Americans may be getting the message. Jessica Alexander was shocked when she first heard her husband read a Danish sex-ed book to their daughter, but soon came around. She’s the co-author of The Danish Way of Parenting: A Guide to Raising the Happiest Kids in the World.

What do you think is the best way to teach kids about sex?

More info: Amazon | AuroraSinistra (h/t: upvoted)

“My parents immigrated to America from Denmark, so I had a bit of a different upbringing than my peers,” writes Sara, who was born in the US

“When I asked where babies come from they told me in the most clinical and simple way and showed me a kids book”

“I asked my parents if they had sex and they told me they did frequently, but only when I was asleep or out of the house”

“IMO one of the great sins American parents make is not being open about sex”

“I lost my virginity in my own bed with my parents’ knowledge it was going to happen in advance”

“I’m in my late 20’s now, no husband and no kids. But when/if I have kids I hope to raise them the same way I was raised”

“Looking back, I can’t imagine having been forced to lose my virginity in secret, with no counseling from my parents about what to expect”

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luca_giordano avatar
LucaGiordano
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very good ! These are absolutely natural and normal topics. being open about them is very healthy !! It's when we start to suppress these topics when the problems start.

adrienneparent avatar
MichelleParent
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me it seems like a little too much information. I worry that there may not be enough emphasis on "this is for adults to do" and that children may end up doing this to each other. But when you're this honest to your kids I'm sure that's brought up aswell. So maybe im just being 'american' about it all. (And it is so painful to refer to myself as american like that. Canadian Canadian Canadian Canadian. Okay im better now. *breathingmorecalmly*

pandas_are_epic avatar
JeanVanWyk
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's better than being completely ignorant about it and learning it from watching porn :P Notice in the book that they always use 'mommy and daddy', not 'girl and boy'. Also, I know that in Norway (I think) they have a Sexuality program which is also about building confidence to say no, understanding things like love and affection, and learning about similar concepts :) it's much more efficient than the 'western' way of teaching 'sex-ed' (abstinence or else you will D I E !!11!!).

Load More Replies...
cikayn avatar
NarmChayapat
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's very good to educate the children as it is natural and common topics. However, its only the start of the series of sex education so, as parents, you would have to educate them when is the proper time to have sex, what is safe sex, downsides of it, disease and consent issue, readiness etc. Thus, parents should prepare for all those as well.

annaussieann avatar
AnnMerritt
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think these are great, I was always open to questions from my kids and tried to answer them as honestly and clearly as I could, this book and the illustrations would have made it much easier.

afboerste avatar
AmandaPanda
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are 4 kids in my family, and I'm the 2nd. We lived in Germany when I was a kid, and these types of videos and resources were readily available. I watched a similar video when I was about 5 or 6 and it answered most of my questions. I feel like education about sex makes parents more uncomfortable than kids, and proliferating sex education would greatly reduce teen pregnancy. Knowledge is power.

duygu_islamoglu avatar
Duyguİslamoğlu
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's great, except the 'birthing table'. We need more image of women giving birth actively, naturally, standing up and free :)

michelle_smith avatar
Michelle Smith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So awesome, my complaint is the mom giving birth has no face, it looks like that baby is a trophy for those 2 men!

tim_sanker avatar
Tim Sanker
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to know more about Sara's experience. It makes we wonder what the conversation was like prior to her losing her virginity in her own bed.

rose-cuddihy avatar
Rosie Cuddihy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm from Australia and my parents raised me the same way. When i turned sixteen they discussed with me about contraception,(as they did with my older sister). I became very comfortable with sex at a young age and i think that's how it should be. its a way of life

flibberdejibbet avatar
Flibberdejibbet
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think being open and honest is very positive, but the wording is still de-values the woman's sexual experience. When the father feels 'extra loving' they have sex? 'When he makes love' such and such happens? How about including the mother as less passive and not just a recipient for sperm. Yes, this is sex-ed and 'where do babies come from' info but it still needs to describe both people as active participants. How about when they both feel extra loving, 'his penis becomes large and her vagina becomes moist'....

kikkaio avatar
Kikka io
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a child, very long time ago, my parents have adopted the same system, buying me a book, in Italian, which explained how babies are born, and was also multiethnic because Reed explained that the mothers of the other countries had the same kind of pregnancy and that all the children were born in the same way. we are talking of the early 70's my parents were people were very advanced for its time, but thanks to them have come up with no inhibitions or false ideas.

thecanningtonbensons avatar
LaurieBenson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents gave me a book, "How you were Born" back in the sixties. We lived in Quebec and had sex education back then. The only problem was they used some euphemisms: Mommy and Daddy sleep together and the sperm enters her vagina and fertilizes the egg". It would have been much better to be more graphic as this shows, as for a few years I thought all you had to do was "sleep" with someone and the sperm would travel across the sheets and find your vagina hahaha!

ajdaboksicfilipovic avatar
AjdaBoksicFilipovic
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in Croatia. I have learned this in school during biology classes.

angellavey avatar
AngelLaVey
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is amazing. We should all adopt this method and way of thinking. It is so much better for the well being of our children.

edwin_lesperance avatar
EdwinLesperance
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about this poor teenager? “Looking back, I can’t imagine having been forced to lose my virginity in secret, with no counseling from my parents about what to expect”

fairyqueendk avatar
RikkeChr.
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ive got the book, How a baby is made, and we rented it from the library whrn I was a kid. Its was first published in 1971. Yes, 71! - And in the Danish version they dont use the nice ones they do in English, because in DK in the 70's, it was quite normal to use..pussy and c**k to describe exactly just that. -That didn't mean my mom used those words, but yeah, Danish knows whats going on and they do not believe in birds who deliver babies.

oliviafodorova avatar
OliviaFodorova
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what age did you lose your virginity / start being sexually active? I have a daughter and i am not quite sure what to tell her when time comes.

boredpanda-com_6 avatar
Benny
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her the truth, without shame. And do it now, she will likely have wondered already.

Load More Replies...
azumasensei avatar
RobKimball
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is brilliant! We teach this way and hope we are changing the way it's done here.

nivruthawesome avatar
NivNivruth
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

once have peek in India where children more about sex from porn than sex education because we wont have a proper sex education at schools :D

tarun avatar
Tarun
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you don't really pay attention in your classes do you? always throwing shade one the country

Load More Replies...
miyuki_nohara avatar
MiyukiNohara
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ooh my god i japanese-mexican both cultures are conservative mexican mothers dont talk to girls about "dating" or specifically about sex topic mexican parents all they said to girls (boys are not so reprimanded or judge if that have sex or multiple girlfriends) " if you get pregnant i will kick you out of school" basically mexican parents left the schools the job of talk to kids about sex., so i grow up (in the 90's) only knowing that sex was bad because you get pregnant and i was so scared when a boy kiss me i though that was a really bad thing to do he was my crush but after he kiss me i just ran away thinking something bad was going to happen to me because a boy kiss me ., of curse talking to other girls (girls that were older) i realize that kissing dint get a woman pregnant. so yes in mexico parents take care more of teen girls compare to teen boys because boys cant get pregnant, so is not weird in mexico a teen girl is restricted and not allow to have a boyfriend .,

militantrubberducky avatar
ConstanceMoreau
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may not be weird, but it is wrong to hold them to the double standard. Women can't get pregnant without men, men need to be held responsible for their actions too. Also, everyone deserves a proper sexual education, it sucks not everyone is afforded that.

Load More Replies...
sallybrite avatar
SallyBrite
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'm trying to imagine 5 yo me being told about my "dad's penis getting large" and being shown penetration/ejaculation pictures... Nnnno.

monicacheek avatar
MonicaCheek
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

....wait....what? “I lost my virginity in my own bed with my parents’ knowledge it was going to happen in advance”

ninabel93 avatar
NinaBelikidou
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes,what does seem strange about this to you?She made the decision (i am going to lose my virginity) and informed her parents.I'm imagining sth like ''Mom,dad,go out today or sth ,i need some privacy because this is gonna happen today''.

Load More Replies...
atras_do_tempo avatar
AmarokGigas
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This is how "adult content" labelling ends. From a few years on, a porn vídeo will be seen 'normally' in the evenings, both parentes and children enjoying it. BTW, this is how morality also ends as well. It is not a surprise to find over the Internet an article entitled "‘Sibling incest should be legal,’ says DANISH professor of criminal justice ethics" Just google it and you will easily find it.

militantrubberducky avatar
ConstanceMoreau
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FFS you're a moron. Clinical and age-focused sex ed material is not on the same plane as pornography. You probably also think same-sex marriage will lead to legalizing marriage to animals. I feel sorry for whatever young you spawn.

Load More Replies...
povotenso avatar
FelipeRibeiro
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bored Panda is committed to some questionable causes.

miguedlm avatar
luca_giordano avatar
LucaGiordano
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very good ! These are absolutely natural and normal topics. being open about them is very healthy !! It's when we start to suppress these topics when the problems start.

adrienneparent avatar
MichelleParent
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me it seems like a little too much information. I worry that there may not be enough emphasis on "this is for adults to do" and that children may end up doing this to each other. But when you're this honest to your kids I'm sure that's brought up aswell. So maybe im just being 'american' about it all. (And it is so painful to refer to myself as american like that. Canadian Canadian Canadian Canadian. Okay im better now. *breathingmorecalmly*

pandas_are_epic avatar
JeanVanWyk
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's better than being completely ignorant about it and learning it from watching porn :P Notice in the book that they always use 'mommy and daddy', not 'girl and boy'. Also, I know that in Norway (I think) they have a Sexuality program which is also about building confidence to say no, understanding things like love and affection, and learning about similar concepts :) it's much more efficient than the 'western' way of teaching 'sex-ed' (abstinence or else you will D I E !!11!!).

Load More Replies...
cikayn avatar
NarmChayapat
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's very good to educate the children as it is natural and common topics. However, its only the start of the series of sex education so, as parents, you would have to educate them when is the proper time to have sex, what is safe sex, downsides of it, disease and consent issue, readiness etc. Thus, parents should prepare for all those as well.

annaussieann avatar
AnnMerritt
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think these are great, I was always open to questions from my kids and tried to answer them as honestly and clearly as I could, this book and the illustrations would have made it much easier.

afboerste avatar
AmandaPanda
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are 4 kids in my family, and I'm the 2nd. We lived in Germany when I was a kid, and these types of videos and resources were readily available. I watched a similar video when I was about 5 or 6 and it answered most of my questions. I feel like education about sex makes parents more uncomfortable than kids, and proliferating sex education would greatly reduce teen pregnancy. Knowledge is power.

duygu_islamoglu avatar
Duyguİslamoğlu
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's great, except the 'birthing table'. We need more image of women giving birth actively, naturally, standing up and free :)

michelle_smith avatar
Michelle Smith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So awesome, my complaint is the mom giving birth has no face, it looks like that baby is a trophy for those 2 men!

tim_sanker avatar
Tim Sanker
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to know more about Sara's experience. It makes we wonder what the conversation was like prior to her losing her virginity in her own bed.

rose-cuddihy avatar
Rosie Cuddihy
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm from Australia and my parents raised me the same way. When i turned sixteen they discussed with me about contraception,(as they did with my older sister). I became very comfortable with sex at a young age and i think that's how it should be. its a way of life

flibberdejibbet avatar
Flibberdejibbet
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think being open and honest is very positive, but the wording is still de-values the woman's sexual experience. When the father feels 'extra loving' they have sex? 'When he makes love' such and such happens? How about including the mother as less passive and not just a recipient for sperm. Yes, this is sex-ed and 'where do babies come from' info but it still needs to describe both people as active participants. How about when they both feel extra loving, 'his penis becomes large and her vagina becomes moist'....

kikkaio avatar
Kikka io
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a child, very long time ago, my parents have adopted the same system, buying me a book, in Italian, which explained how babies are born, and was also multiethnic because Reed explained that the mothers of the other countries had the same kind of pregnancy and that all the children were born in the same way. we are talking of the early 70's my parents were people were very advanced for its time, but thanks to them have come up with no inhibitions or false ideas.

thecanningtonbensons avatar
LaurieBenson
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents gave me a book, "How you were Born" back in the sixties. We lived in Quebec and had sex education back then. The only problem was they used some euphemisms: Mommy and Daddy sleep together and the sperm enters her vagina and fertilizes the egg". It would have been much better to be more graphic as this shows, as for a few years I thought all you had to do was "sleep" with someone and the sperm would travel across the sheets and find your vagina hahaha!

ajdaboksicfilipovic avatar
AjdaBoksicFilipovic
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same in Croatia. I have learned this in school during biology classes.

angellavey avatar
AngelLaVey
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is amazing. We should all adopt this method and way of thinking. It is so much better for the well being of our children.

edwin_lesperance avatar
EdwinLesperance
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about this poor teenager? “Looking back, I can’t imagine having been forced to lose my virginity in secret, with no counseling from my parents about what to expect”

fairyqueendk avatar
RikkeChr.
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ive got the book, How a baby is made, and we rented it from the library whrn I was a kid. Its was first published in 1971. Yes, 71! - And in the Danish version they dont use the nice ones they do in English, because in DK in the 70's, it was quite normal to use..pussy and c**k to describe exactly just that. -That didn't mean my mom used those words, but yeah, Danish knows whats going on and they do not believe in birds who deliver babies.

oliviafodorova avatar
OliviaFodorova
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what age did you lose your virginity / start being sexually active? I have a daughter and i am not quite sure what to tell her when time comes.

boredpanda-com_6 avatar
Benny
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell her the truth, without shame. And do it now, she will likely have wondered already.

Load More Replies...
azumasensei avatar
RobKimball
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is brilliant! We teach this way and hope we are changing the way it's done here.

nivruthawesome avatar
NivNivruth
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

once have peek in India where children more about sex from porn than sex education because we wont have a proper sex education at schools :D

tarun avatar
Tarun
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you don't really pay attention in your classes do you? always throwing shade one the country

Load More Replies...
miyuki_nohara avatar
MiyukiNohara
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

ooh my god i japanese-mexican both cultures are conservative mexican mothers dont talk to girls about "dating" or specifically about sex topic mexican parents all they said to girls (boys are not so reprimanded or judge if that have sex or multiple girlfriends) " if you get pregnant i will kick you out of school" basically mexican parents left the schools the job of talk to kids about sex., so i grow up (in the 90's) only knowing that sex was bad because you get pregnant and i was so scared when a boy kiss me i though that was a really bad thing to do he was my crush but after he kiss me i just ran away thinking something bad was going to happen to me because a boy kiss me ., of curse talking to other girls (girls that were older) i realize that kissing dint get a woman pregnant. so yes in mexico parents take care more of teen girls compare to teen boys because boys cant get pregnant, so is not weird in mexico a teen girl is restricted and not allow to have a boyfriend .,

militantrubberducky avatar
ConstanceMoreau
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may not be weird, but it is wrong to hold them to the double standard. Women can't get pregnant without men, men need to be held responsible for their actions too. Also, everyone deserves a proper sexual education, it sucks not everyone is afforded that.

Load More Replies...
sallybrite avatar
SallyBrite
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'm trying to imagine 5 yo me being told about my "dad's penis getting large" and being shown penetration/ejaculation pictures... Nnnno.

monicacheek avatar
MonicaCheek
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

....wait....what? “I lost my virginity in my own bed with my parents’ knowledge it was going to happen in advance”

ninabel93 avatar
NinaBelikidou
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes,what does seem strange about this to you?She made the decision (i am going to lose my virginity) and informed her parents.I'm imagining sth like ''Mom,dad,go out today or sth ,i need some privacy because this is gonna happen today''.

Load More Replies...
atras_do_tempo avatar
AmarokGigas
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

This is how "adult content" labelling ends. From a few years on, a porn vídeo will be seen 'normally' in the evenings, both parentes and children enjoying it. BTW, this is how morality also ends as well. It is not a surprise to find over the Internet an article entitled "‘Sibling incest should be legal,’ says DANISH professor of criminal justice ethics" Just google it and you will easily find it.

militantrubberducky avatar
ConstanceMoreau
Community Member
8 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

FFS you're a moron. Clinical and age-focused sex ed material is not on the same plane as pornography. You probably also think same-sex marriage will lead to legalizing marriage to animals. I feel sorry for whatever young you spawn.

Load More Replies...
povotenso avatar
FelipeRibeiro
Community Member
8 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Bored Panda is committed to some questionable causes.

miguedlm avatar
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