Chaunie Brusie, a freelance writer and a mom of four, presents us with 5 comical situations that underline the differences between dads and moms when they go out in public. Published by Babble, a parenting blog, the illustrations show biased public opinions when it comes to the roles of parents. For example, while dads can get away with scrolling through their Facebook feed while their kids are at the park, moms are under the magnifying glass pretty much all the time.
Does this look familiar to you? Share your experiences in the comments below and upvote the most accurate illustrations.
(h/t: Babble)
This post may include affiliate links.
Is it any wonder, when society brands men as hapless dads, that a dad seen being a 'dad' is something away from what is expected of them? Look at all the father figures on TV: from Daddy Pig, to three men and a baby, to Fred Flintstone, we grew up thinking dads are useless. It's true, men don't have the pressure of having to be seen as being a 'good mum' but where is that pressure coming from? And does it really matter what other people think of your parenting skills? Be the best you can be and stuff anyone else. I'm a dad for my daughter, and the only person whose opinion matters is hers.
BEST RESPONSE EVER! Be the best you can be for HER! SHE IS ALL THAT MATTERS. I'm so glad someone else knows that. I wish my dad did. But in recent years he's made up for it. :) Daughters carry how their daddies treat them their entire lives.
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I've gotten the "you've got your hands full" at the grocery store more than once. Never the other.
Lol. I get this a lot. It doesn't bother me though unless someone is being s****y about it. I have 5 children. The older 2 I didn't give birth to and yes I know what causes children and it's NOT in the water. Lmao
I hear this comment EVERY TIME I go grocery shopping with my two kids!
I actually find Dads can get similar reactions as people assume it's a "Mom's day off" type of thing....but it's usually one or the other extreme I think
I am a 24/7/365 dad of 3. DEADBEAT MOM....THIS IS THE MOST SeXIST R******D S**T I EVER have seen. So insulting..... And WOMEN do not like dating you or being there just as much as men.... You let courts decide your kids dad fate... Expect nothing less... SEXISTS.
I'm more likely to point out how it's dangerous to let a dad's kids put plastic bags on their heads or to stand up in the cart.
Every time I walk into the store with the kids AT LEAST ONE person says this to me... and my kids are generally really well behaved in the store.
Have you got nothing better to do, than commenting on every single picture on boredpanda? :D
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This one depends on the friends. I tend to ask about the kids first regardless of the sex, and then go on to random stuff.
What a nice piece of sexist propaganda. My brother is a single parent, and he says he always feels "out of place" when he goes out, that people are always offering him unsolicited advice, thinking he doesn't know how to take care of his kid because he's a man.
Single Dad here with 3 kids. This list tried but came off as bitter and sexist
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This sums up my life. My husband is awesome and deserves all the praise he gets. But the amount of praise he's gotten for literally appearing in public next to his children is something that's baffling even to him.
my ex thought it was weird too.. He'd push the kiddo on the swing once a month and get praised for being such a great dad I was able to (and frequently did) push a kid on a swing since about the age of 5..
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Yes,it is sexist and "one eyed? But unfortunately,so are societies attitudes ,in many cases.We are expected to have it all,effortlessly.We are bombarded by ridiculous headlines about "celebrity" mothers being "Yummy Mummies" *shudder,"Super Mums" etc ,always ignoring that they can afford Nannies,personal stylists,assistants and chefs,yet ALL women are expected to be the same.Men ARE treated differently.When my kids were younger,I got so sick of hearing "what a good Dad"every time my Husband spent time with them,forgetting that with 4 young children(2 just 12 months apart)getting to the supermarket alone,getting an hour to jog or even have an uninterrupted shower was a rare luxury.The one that drove me really crazy,and the most common was) that he was "BABYSITTING","for"me?No.He is was parenting his children!There are wonderful single & hands on Dads out there,but there are a lot more Mums being primary carers but no one is patting them on the back every time they change a nappy!
Well, gender roles don't fit all. You did use generalizations that omit the possibility of people being comfortable with those roles yourself. See how easy it is to communicate your perspective, ignoring other by generalizing. That's what these posts do. I did not want to go into examples, but I'll throw a few of the most obvious. If we use the same societal gender roles most of the people who agree with these comics are using, guess what comments would the dad actually receive? He is "supposed" to be at work 9 to 5 (at least) and then fix something in the house or the car. What is he doing taking a break with his children? And that's only for people who know him. Say he gets his daughter to the park. I can ensure you that unless he is a "hot dad", "daddy material" or what have you, someone is going to be throwing looks as if he is a child molester. Heck, I've seen this with a granddad saying goodbye to his granddaughter at the school gate. A few college girls commented that he is a
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The thing that annoys me regularly is that when my son goes to hospital, and he has to too often, I look after him more often than his mother. Too often clinical and non-clinical staff ask where his mother is, or ask if we should wait for his mother. No, his mother is at work and I am here, I am equally able to look after him.
Oh, how brutally opinionated and one sided this is. How it conveniently takes a side and places one gender above the other and making the latter a victim, implying sexism while being sexist. Ironic, really. And to make matters worse, everyone that dares to express a negative opinion about these comics or to point their propagating nature is downvoted. If that isn't proving a point, I don't know what is. These comics served a great purpose. Just not the one they tried so desperately to push through.
It would be propagandistic and sexist if it wasn't true but unfortunately it is in most countries! The woman is just "assumed" as the main carer for the kids, and if she is not, she is judged for it!
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Interesting comments. Especially, the 'sexist' accusation. It is STILL problematic to make something just from a woman's point of view. And it's almost always men who then cry out that this is unfair. (Regardless of the fact that 80-90% of EVERYTHING EVER PUBLISHED is exclusively about males) I heard a great comment recently (from a male comedian): 'We will have true emancipation when women are finally allowed to screw things up just as much as men.' At the moment women are still held up to much higher standards - by themselves and almost everyone else. That's a fact. That some don't wanna hear it doesn't change it.
And reading some more comments: What exactly is so terrible about a female writer being a bit frustrated or bitter or angry? The standards that are applied to mothers are insane. I think it's perfectly ok to be a bit bitter about that.
Load More Replies... This is hilarious. Why do people always have to get butt-hurt over everything lol
i don't think that this is sexist or anything she is just telling her side of the story . and it can happen to both men and women . there's no need for overthinking . and being a single parent is a very different thing and obviously has it's own problems but this comic its just simply not about that !!!
continuing... Again with the park scenario, I don't doubt that it happens but most of the time, the man would probably receive more mean looks and rumors of being a pedophile than a compliment. Even if the man is there with his child, him playing with his phone at a playground where children are present would probably cause alarm to other parents nearby. Interracial fathers also have a problem of being accused as an abductor just because they don't look like their kids. Interracial mothers may also experience the same but not as prevalent as interracial fathers, they probably get mistaken more as a babysitter. The comic may have been good at pointing out the judgement that mothers receive from others,however, it completely ignores the judgement that fathers receive from others and portrays it as though they are only showered with compliments.
While they may be some inkling of truth in these comics, I find that it's quite bias and should have been mored balanced to show the positive and negative things that moms and dads experience when they are out alone with their kids. On the other hand, while the comments given to dads may seem positive, it may also come off as an insult veiled as a compliment. For instance, the "at the park" scenario, the comment towards the dad may be viewed as "Oh look! He's actually spending time with his kid." Also, people might quickly compliment a father for little things he does for his kid but that's due to society's perception of men not being natural at parenting. We see it on TV where most of the shows have fathers who are portrayed as a deadbeat or he's a great guy but an incompetent parent. So to many, a father just being in the same room as his kid is deserving of an applause even though it's not.
s a dad you're viewed at best as being inept but harmless; and at worst your viewed with suspicion as most public services now buy into the idiotic belief that all men are child abusers and rapists. Clearly the author of this drivel knows exactly two thirds of four fifths of sod all about being a man.
What utter c**p. Fed up of the tedious put upon women narrative. Change the tune. It's boring and outdated.
when more dads start acting like the dads in this thread, the narrative will change dont blame an artist for portraying reality, blame the people creating the reality.
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You're experience may differ but certainly does not invalidate hers or anyone else who's gone through this.
I guess I'm a little confused but how is this sexist & bitter if this is something the author personally went through? Isn't it based of her experience that has been shared with others? If you wanna share what you've personally went through as a parent, mom or dad.. you have the freedom and ability to do so either in the comments or through your own blog.. but instead you decide to throw a hissy fit.
I'm confused about why y'all think this is sexist? Isn't this based of her experience as a mom? If you want to expand & talk about the dad side then make your own post. This was clearly about her and her experience that has been shared with other women. Y'all just want something to complain about when you have the ability to share with others what you go thru as a parent. 🙄
As a father, having taken my 3 year old son to the doctors' with a head wound where he had fallen off the bed onto the corner of a loud speaker and been questioned intensely by 2 female nurses as to where his mother was (in bed, it doesn't have to be a whole family trip). I find the 1st 4 of these cartoons not only offensive, but totally wrong. The last one however just shows the author needs to realise her life shouldn't just revolve around her kids, that and the fact men don't really have friends they share problems with, they have acquaintances they enjoy activities with.
Just because these illustrations show one side of the story does not mean it's disregarding the other. We all know it happens both ways. But by solving one of the sides, you solve both of them because it's the same lesson being learned.
thats all nice but we all know that theres no such thing as a black dad you know what they say! Once you go back you're a single mother!
Why are people complaining about a comic that is pointing out the actual reality of what it's like out there in our communities and how sexist it is as if the comic itself is sexist? It's just pointing out what is already there.
Everyone is missing the point. It is common assumption that it is a women's role as a mother and to care for the child. to see a man doing this is out of the norm (even though I do not believe it should be) and so compliments are often given. Now imagine a different scenario, if it was a women at an office. she would be receiving constant compliments for being able to juggle a courier while having a kid at home. and all the man would be gritting their teeth imagining their 3 or more kids at home while nobody gives a rats a*s about them. Woman already have equality, most of you'll just dont see it....
Only the women mention about the kids in the comic, for both the male and female. I think women just tend to bring up kids more than men.
I agree with the majority on here. The author is obviously very bitter about something. Take the one in the bar, for example. It's nothing but cherry picking. I have long conversations with my friend, who's recently become a dad, about his son. We also talk about other stuff as well. And guess what? So do women... If it was the case that mothers are getting insulted EVERY time they go out, fair enough but I seriously doubt that is true.
Well, problem one: Do not expect praise, for doing your job. You had the kids. You aren't going above and beyond to take care of them. Resenting men for it is illogical. You chose too. When you have kids your world revolves around them, not around you. Problem two: Women do not praise men for being good Dad's out of the kindness of their hearts, stop it, we all know why we do this. We're attracted to men who are 'good' Dad's it's flirting. It's a documented biological response, actually. Problem three: If it wasn't the parenting that those women were criticizing about the Mom, it would have been about something else. Her hair, her nails, her clothes, her face, her body. Nothing is off limits to other women. Competition is fierce, and we are viciously judgmental of one another ESPECIALLY over things that make us seem like better women. It isn't about how men get unfair praise for doing their jobs as Fathers. It's about how women mistreat other women to elevate themselves.
This isnt about expecting praise, this is SPOT ON for a LOT of us. I cannot begin to tell you how s****y it feels to be the one who does 98% of the work with the child and then to watch your partner get praised for pushing a kid on a swing once a month. and it DOES happen like this for many. if this isnt your narrative then move along, the comic wasnt meant for you.
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"Woman are ALWAYS the victims...bla bla bla" you feminists really need to get your s**t together. its allways the same. It doesnt matter how hard everybody trys to fo it right, feminists will allways find something to say: "We are the poor woman and the whole world is sooo mean to us. Mimimimimi."
Obviously some salty graders here, but I must point out that you can't make a "brutally honest" article based on what one group of people say regarding a member of of that group ... it's also obvious that the ones being critical cannot relate or just can't empathize ... this would make them childless ... I doubt very highly that an actual mother would lack the empathy to say what everybody in the second drawing of each example says ... these just happen to be convenient scenarios that don't tell the whole story, but are being passed off as a "reality" ...
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I am an anti feminist but no, this was not c**p this was dead on, ive experienced it. the ex getting praised for pushing his kid on the swing once a month LOL even he agreed it was ridiculous.
Load More Replies... What a nice piece of sexist propaganda. My brother is a single parent, and he says he always feels "out of place" when he goes out, that people are always offering him unsolicited advice, thinking he doesn't know how to take care of his kid because he's a man.
Single Dad here with 3 kids. This list tried but came off as bitter and sexist
Load More Replies... This sums up my life. My husband is awesome and deserves all the praise he gets. But the amount of praise he's gotten for literally appearing in public next to his children is something that's baffling even to him.
my ex thought it was weird too.. He'd push the kiddo on the swing once a month and get praised for being such a great dad I was able to (and frequently did) push a kid on a swing since about the age of 5..
Load More Replies... Yes,it is sexist and "one eyed? But unfortunately,so are societies attitudes ,in many cases.We are expected to have it all,effortlessly.We are bombarded by ridiculous headlines about "celebrity" mothers being "Yummy Mummies" *shudder,"Super Mums" etc ,always ignoring that they can afford Nannies,personal stylists,assistants and chefs,yet ALL women are expected to be the same.Men ARE treated differently.When my kids were younger,I got so sick of hearing "what a good Dad"every time my Husband spent time with them,forgetting that with 4 young children(2 just 12 months apart)getting to the supermarket alone,getting an hour to jog or even have an uninterrupted shower was a rare luxury.The one that drove me really crazy,and the most common was) that he was "BABYSITTING","for"me?No.He is was parenting his children!There are wonderful single & hands on Dads out there,but there are a lot more Mums being primary carers but no one is patting them on the back every time they change a nappy!
Well, gender roles don't fit all. You did use generalizations that omit the possibility of people being comfortable with those roles yourself. See how easy it is to communicate your perspective, ignoring other by generalizing. That's what these posts do. I did not want to go into examples, but I'll throw a few of the most obvious. If we use the same societal gender roles most of the people who agree with these comics are using, guess what comments would the dad actually receive? He is "supposed" to be at work 9 to 5 (at least) and then fix something in the house or the car. What is he doing taking a break with his children? And that's only for people who know him. Say he gets his daughter to the park. I can ensure you that unless he is a "hot dad", "daddy material" or what have you, someone is going to be throwing looks as if he is a child molester. Heck, I've seen this with a granddad saying goodbye to his granddaughter at the school gate. A few college girls commented that he is a
Load More Replies... The thing that annoys me regularly is that when my son goes to hospital, and he has to too often, I look after him more often than his mother. Too often clinical and non-clinical staff ask where his mother is, or ask if we should wait for his mother. No, his mother is at work and I am here, I am equally able to look after him.
Oh, how brutally opinionated and one sided this is. How it conveniently takes a side and places one gender above the other and making the latter a victim, implying sexism while being sexist. Ironic, really. And to make matters worse, everyone that dares to express a negative opinion about these comics or to point their propagating nature is downvoted. If that isn't proving a point, I don't know what is. These comics served a great purpose. Just not the one they tried so desperately to push through.
It would be propagandistic and sexist if it wasn't true but unfortunately it is in most countries! The woman is just "assumed" as the main carer for the kids, and if she is not, she is judged for it!
Load More Replies... Interesting comments. Especially, the 'sexist' accusation. It is STILL problematic to make something just from a woman's point of view. And it's almost always men who then cry out that this is unfair. (Regardless of the fact that 80-90% of EVERYTHING EVER PUBLISHED is exclusively about males) I heard a great comment recently (from a male comedian): 'We will have true emancipation when women are finally allowed to screw things up just as much as men.' At the moment women are still held up to much higher standards - by themselves and almost everyone else. That's a fact. That some don't wanna hear it doesn't change it.
And reading some more comments: What exactly is so terrible about a female writer being a bit frustrated or bitter or angry? The standards that are applied to mothers are insane. I think it's perfectly ok to be a bit bitter about that.
Load More Replies... This is hilarious. Why do people always have to get butt-hurt over everything lol
i don't think that this is sexist or anything she is just telling her side of the story . and it can happen to both men and women . there's no need for overthinking . and being a single parent is a very different thing and obviously has it's own problems but this comic its just simply not about that !!!
continuing... Again with the park scenario, I don't doubt that it happens but most of the time, the man would probably receive more mean looks and rumors of being a pedophile than a compliment. Even if the man is there with his child, him playing with his phone at a playground where children are present would probably cause alarm to other parents nearby. Interracial fathers also have a problem of being accused as an abductor just because they don't look like their kids. Interracial mothers may also experience the same but not as prevalent as interracial fathers, they probably get mistaken more as a babysitter. The comic may have been good at pointing out the judgement that mothers receive from others,however, it completely ignores the judgement that fathers receive from others and portrays it as though they are only showered with compliments.
While they may be some inkling of truth in these comics, I find that it's quite bias and should have been mored balanced to show the positive and negative things that moms and dads experience when they are out alone with their kids. On the other hand, while the comments given to dads may seem positive, it may also come off as an insult veiled as a compliment. For instance, the "at the park" scenario, the comment towards the dad may be viewed as "Oh look! He's actually spending time with his kid." Also, people might quickly compliment a father for little things he does for his kid but that's due to society's perception of men not being natural at parenting. We see it on TV where most of the shows have fathers who are portrayed as a deadbeat or he's a great guy but an incompetent parent. So to many, a father just being in the same room as his kid is deserving of an applause even though it's not.
s a dad you're viewed at best as being inept but harmless; and at worst your viewed with suspicion as most public services now buy into the idiotic belief that all men are child abusers and rapists. Clearly the author of this drivel knows exactly two thirds of four fifths of sod all about being a man.
What utter c**p. Fed up of the tedious put upon women narrative. Change the tune. It's boring and outdated.
when more dads start acting like the dads in this thread, the narrative will change dont blame an artist for portraying reality, blame the people creating the reality.
Load More Replies... You're experience may differ but certainly does not invalidate hers or anyone else who's gone through this.
I guess I'm a little confused but how is this sexist & bitter if this is something the author personally went through? Isn't it based of her experience that has been shared with others? If you wanna share what you've personally went through as a parent, mom or dad.. you have the freedom and ability to do so either in the comments or through your own blog.. but instead you decide to throw a hissy fit.
I'm confused about why y'all think this is sexist? Isn't this based of her experience as a mom? If you want to expand & talk about the dad side then make your own post. This was clearly about her and her experience that has been shared with other women. Y'all just want something to complain about when you have the ability to share with others what you go thru as a parent. 🙄
As a father, having taken my 3 year old son to the doctors' with a head wound where he had fallen off the bed onto the corner of a loud speaker and been questioned intensely by 2 female nurses as to where his mother was (in bed, it doesn't have to be a whole family trip). I find the 1st 4 of these cartoons not only offensive, but totally wrong. The last one however just shows the author needs to realise her life shouldn't just revolve around her kids, that and the fact men don't really have friends they share problems with, they have acquaintances they enjoy activities with.
Just because these illustrations show one side of the story does not mean it's disregarding the other. We all know it happens both ways. But by solving one of the sides, you solve both of them because it's the same lesson being learned.
thats all nice but we all know that theres no such thing as a black dad you know what they say! Once you go back you're a single mother!
Why are people complaining about a comic that is pointing out the actual reality of what it's like out there in our communities and how sexist it is as if the comic itself is sexist? It's just pointing out what is already there.
Everyone is missing the point. It is common assumption that it is a women's role as a mother and to care for the child. to see a man doing this is out of the norm (even though I do not believe it should be) and so compliments are often given. Now imagine a different scenario, if it was a women at an office. she would be receiving constant compliments for being able to juggle a courier while having a kid at home. and all the man would be gritting their teeth imagining their 3 or more kids at home while nobody gives a rats a*s about them. Woman already have equality, most of you'll just dont see it....
Only the women mention about the kids in the comic, for both the male and female. I think women just tend to bring up kids more than men.
I agree with the majority on here. The author is obviously very bitter about something. Take the one in the bar, for example. It's nothing but cherry picking. I have long conversations with my friend, who's recently become a dad, about his son. We also talk about other stuff as well. And guess what? So do women... If it was the case that mothers are getting insulted EVERY time they go out, fair enough but I seriously doubt that is true.
Well, problem one: Do not expect praise, for doing your job. You had the kids. You aren't going above and beyond to take care of them. Resenting men for it is illogical. You chose too. When you have kids your world revolves around them, not around you. Problem two: Women do not praise men for being good Dad's out of the kindness of their hearts, stop it, we all know why we do this. We're attracted to men who are 'good' Dad's it's flirting. It's a documented biological response, actually. Problem three: If it wasn't the parenting that those women were criticizing about the Mom, it would have been about something else. Her hair, her nails, her clothes, her face, her body. Nothing is off limits to other women. Competition is fierce, and we are viciously judgmental of one another ESPECIALLY over things that make us seem like better women. It isn't about how men get unfair praise for doing their jobs as Fathers. It's about how women mistreat other women to elevate themselves.
This isnt about expecting praise, this is SPOT ON for a LOT of us. I cannot begin to tell you how s****y it feels to be the one who does 98% of the work with the child and then to watch your partner get praised for pushing a kid on a swing once a month. and it DOES happen like this for many. if this isnt your narrative then move along, the comic wasnt meant for you.
Load More Replies... "Woman are ALWAYS the victims...bla bla bla" you feminists really need to get your s**t together. its allways the same. It doesnt matter how hard everybody trys to fo it right, feminists will allways find something to say: "We are the poor woman and the whole world is sooo mean to us. Mimimimimi."
Obviously some salty graders here, but I must point out that you can't make a "brutally honest" article based on what one group of people say regarding a member of of that group ... it's also obvious that the ones being critical cannot relate or just can't empathize ... this would make them childless ... I doubt very highly that an actual mother would lack the empathy to say what everybody in the second drawing of each example says ... these just happen to be convenient scenarios that don't tell the whole story, but are being passed off as a "reality" ...
Load More Replies... I am an anti feminist but no, this was not c**p this was dead on, ive experienced it. the ex getting praised for pushing his kid on the swing once a month LOL even he agreed it was ridiculous.
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