Dad Leaves Daughter On The Roof In 18°F Weather For 2 Hours To Teach Her A Lesson, Wonders If He’s The Jerk
Teenagers are notoriously bad listeners. Whether mom and dad are nagging about turning their music down, doing the dishes, coming home before curfew or cleaning their room, it is in a teenager’s nature to rebel. They usually don’t mean any harm, but the words of a parent can go in one ear and right out the other. Inevitably, there will come a time (or many times) where every parent has the opportunity to give their teenager a large, loud, “I told you so!” But not every parent will jump at the opportunity.
One father in Canada, however, recently shared that he took advantage of the chance to teach his daughter a cold, hard lesson about something he had repeatedly warned her not to do. He reached out to the “Am I the Jerk?” subreddit to find out if he was in the wrong, so below, you can read the full story of how his daughter got trapped outside in freezing temperatures and decide for yourself. Let us know what you think in the comments, and then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda story featuring parents attempting to teach their kids lessons, check out this article next.
This dad is wondering if he was wrong for leaving his daughter outside in the cold to teach her a lesson
Image credits: Chandre D’Oliveira (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Sarah Blocksidge (not the actual photo)
Readers wanted a few details clarified, so the father shared more information in the comments
There is nothing wrong with teaching teenagers lessons. If they don’t listen when they have been told something repeatedly, sometimes they have to learn the hard way. But I would guess that at the moment this girl realized she was stuck and needed to call her father, the lesson had been learned. I would be shocked if she would ever put herself in that situation again because she was probably embarrassed to call her dad for help. Thankfully, the father clarified that she was dressed appropriately for the freezing weather, but there is a fine line between teaching a valuable lesson and choosing to leave your child in danger. It is likely that the same outcome could have been reached (the teenager never going out on the roof alone again) without freezing out in the cold for two hours.
Some commenters thought that teaching the teenager this lesson was harmless
Let’s not forget that cold weather can be dangerous. Even if you live in Saskatchewan and are used to freezing temperatures, you still need to be prepared for them. If she had not been wearing a proper coat, gloves, a hat, etc. she could have easily developed hypothermia or frostbite. According to Everyday Health, at -8 degrees Celsius or 18 degrees Fahrenheit, people start to be at risk of frostbite within 30 minutes, depending on the wind chill. And once someone reaches the realm of hypothermia, they are in serious trouble. “Hypothermia is a medical emergency,” Dr. Glatter, an assistant professor of emergency medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC, told Everyday Health. “As your body temperature drops, your heart, brain, and internal organs cannot function. Without aggressive resuscitation and rapid rewarming, you will ultimately not survive.”
The father in this story made it clear that his daughter is fine and he got home in time to help her out. But I can see why his co-parent and girlfriend were upset. Even taking a chance that his daughter could be left in harm’s way out in the cold seems like too big of a risk, but he seemed confident, and apparently he was right, that she would be okay based on what she was wearing. How do you feel about this situation? Do you think the daughter deserved to learn a cold, hard lesson or was her father being a bit too harsh? We would love to hear your thoughts down below. As for me, I’m just glad it’s currently summer because the thought of having to wear a winter coat again is making me shudder.
While others thought the father was being too harsh
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One of my dad's favorite sayings was always, "The best lessons in life are the ones you pay for." Well she paid, good lesson.
What was dad supposed to do, drive 40 min to let her in then 40 min back to get the groceries? It was 18 F, she was properly dressed, and had access to call for more immediate help if needed. I'm all the way south in Minnesota and that's a beautiful day here (at least in January). He didn't leave her there to teach her a lesson, he just didn't drop everything to bail her out when she wasn't in danger.
He was supposed to say, it will be about 2 hours so she should call someone else who has a key or ladder. That's all he had to say. Simple and makes her feel embarrassed to call around but teaches her how to get out of her own dilemmas and is honest, completely honest with no appearance of wanting to make her suffer a bit. That's the answer
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As a life long Saskatchewan resident ..... -8 is nothing, especially if she had two coats on. Seems like something my parents would have done. We Saskatchewan people are a hardy folk :)
Yeah, everyone saying YTA seems to think it was in some way unsafe or cruel. This is like you threw your supper in the garbage and had to wait two hours for more food. Ain't nobody going to starve in that time, and similarly she was perfectly fine and perfectly safe, just bored.
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NTA. I'm not dropping what I'm doing to save my almost adult child from their bad decisions if they aren't in any imminent danger. That's not my job. In fact, that's the absolute opposite of my job and I'd only be hurting my child in the long run. My job is to teach her right from wrong and help hone her ability to make thoughtful and rational decisions. In order to do that, she HAS to be able to comprehend that actions have consequences and I mean reeeally understand the concept bc I can say it all day long, but until she has the experience for herself she won't take my warnings seriously. That's just life and being a teenager. It's not about saying, "I told you so" or even punishing them. It's about being a parent and giving your child the skills to make good sensible choices, and think before they act. We don't come equipped with that ability. I'd much rather she learned those type of lessons doing something benign at home and not something life altering once she's out on her own.
Absolutamente no! Absolutely no! You warned her, she didn't listen, it's on her!
That one comment saying teens make mistakes, yes they do, and they need to learn the lesson through its consequences sometimes, he's already talked about it before and it was useless, she'd probably do this again if he didn't leave her.
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What I really don't get is this: if the girl is too short to get back in thru the window by herself, why hasn't she put a small stepladder, or even a wood box outside the window, to be left there permanently (or until the kid leaves home)??? SMH.
I could climb the roof when I was 6. I sat on the roof w my neighbour friend. Lol the neighbours saw it of course and warned my parents.
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For the record, -8ºC is a fairly mild winter day for Saskatchewan. That's about 17.6ºF, for Americans. Our coldest days are more like -25 to -35ºC. With added wind chill, it can seem more like -45ºC. So this girl would definitely have had adequate clothing for -8ºC.
I'm really pissed at the people saying that after what the father did, his daughter will stop asking him for help if she is ever in trouble again. First of all, if an incident such as this causes the end of trust between 2 family members then people really seem to forget how strong are familial bonds. Second of all, yes a parent is supposed to be there of their child during there time of need but they are also supposed to punish the child when it is needed. The teen was informed may time of the reasons to which the father forbid her from going on the roof and she repeatedly ignored him.
You also don't seem to understand how easily "familial" bonds can be broken. Family doesn't realistically mean anything when your self safety is put into mind. As I haven't talked to family in over 3 years. Family is rarely ever supportive when it realistically matters.
Load More Replies... NTA - but a good chance to talk to her about common sense and to think a bit ahead about the potential consequences of her actions. All she had to do was take a wood box or small step ladder with her.
I don't get why they didn't just move a step ladder out there so she could get back in the window.
'cause her dad won't have her to be on the roof in general. He's only tolerating this, when she got friends over. And obviously he had told her multiple times. So why encourage her solely tolerated behavior by providing a step ladder?
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NTA. I'm a parent with a master's degree in childhood development. The OP is trying to teach his daughter the lessons she'll need to survive in life. One of the BEST ways is by allowing for logical consequences. If you don't wear a coat, you'll be cold. If you don't put your homework in your backpack, you'll get a zero. If you go onto the roof, you might not be able to get back inside. There is nothing wrong with his actions. When I taught middle school, you wouldn't BELIEVE how babyfied the kids were because their parents always rescued them. They would LEAVE THEIR JOBS to bring the coats and forgotten assignments them. When my own son was in middle school, he forgot his lunchbox. I took it to him the first time, explaining that was his "Oops," and I would not bring it to him again. Less than a week later, he did it again. Even though I didn't want him to go hungry, I stood my ground. He never forgot it again. If I took it again, he'd still be forgetting it. They have to learn!!!
I've been locked out longer in the sane temperatures. No cell phone to call anyone. Just stuck outside for 4 hrs till mom got off work. They finally decided I was responsible enough for a house key after that. I cut and chopped enough wood for the rest of the month in those 4 hrs though. To be fair she wasn't supposed to be at work that long. She was supposed to be home before me. Then hi5 black ice in the way home and had to be towed out of a ditch. So mine wasn't punishment. But that girl was fine. All I had on was a fleece sweater. That's when I learned get that blood flowing and you will be fine. I got so hot at some point I had to take the sweater off.
I live in Wisconsin. That temperature isn't *that* cold in the winter as long as you have outerwear on. People do winter sports for many hours outside without issues. Really not a big deal.
Something tells me the people voting YTA have horrible children. The type that don't get invited to weddings and such for being unruly and obnoxious. I bet she won't go out there alone again. That's the point.
Heard about a murder case years ago in American. Was in a wider true crime story. Different to this but made me think of it. Daughter kept coming home late so her parents locked her out to teach her a lesson. It was something like 2am when she got home and couldn't get it. As it was late she didn't go to her friends house (I think her friend mum was also annoyed) She went missing and turned up dead.
That's different than be stuck on the roof after being told not to go out there alone. In the story you told the parents aren't at fault either. They may feel guilt that their daughter died but she could have gone missing long before she came home and it wouldn't have made a difference. She could have disappeared another day coming home late as well. A teen should never be coming home that late either.
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Anyone else read how he was grocery shopping 40min away? If he'd dropped what he was doing, he wouldn't be home much earlier, and he'd have had to go back out to finish it for at least 2 hours - I'd be thinking she'd have climbed back out in the meantime - it's just a risk assessment on his part. Other comments are right, she could have called the fire department if she was really in danger, but he couldn't just snap his fingers and be there, could he?
Grocery shopping takes awhile when there's nothing to eat in your house. That with the 40 minute drive could have easily been a 3 hour trip. (Closer to 7 if my mom is there =). Even though you've told her many times, sounds like you always rescue her from the situation. Glad you let her stay there until you got back this time.
-8 C isn't that bad. I'm guessing that she's around 110-120 pounds (average BMI for a 5'0 teen girl.) She's got TWO coats and blankets, she's fine.
I am also a 5'0 teen girl. I weigh 112 pounds, so I can hang on for at least an hour at negative Fahrenheit temps before being harmed. -8C is 17F. With the added cover of TWO coats, AND blankets, she can build herself some shelter too. She's fine, NTA.
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She had a phone, if she felt her life was in danger then she would have called an emergency number and not her father and later her mom to complain to.
One thing people need to know is that -8 C is 17.6 F. Yes...it is cold. It is even below freezing. But she was wearing 2 coats and a sweater. She had her phone with her as evidenced that she called both her Dad and her Mom. If she felt she was in extreme danger she could have easily called the fire department. FYI... she had been told where her Dad was and what he was doing. She was warmly dressed. Climbing out on the roof was her choice.
I love in MN. It gets COLD here. 18 is not cold. 18 is not dangerous if you are dressed decently. Actions have consequences. I bet she won't do it again. Lesson learned.
NTA. I suspect that YTA responders haven't raised teens. If she was smart enough to climb down onto the roof a million times, she was smart enough to bring something with her to climb back up to the window as needed. Duh.
Not only would my daddy have left my behind up there the 2 hours, I’d have gotten a belt whipping for being irresponsible and stupid not to mention outright disobeying my parents!
Amen to that. Parents were the same way raising me.
Load More Replies... Everyone voting YTA clearly has no clue what living in Sask is like; -8 is nothing. Especially when you're dressed for the weather, which she was. She is 17, and old enough to realize that actions have consequences, sometimes teenagers need a harsher reminder of that though. No harm came to her, she was fine asides from her pride perhaps.
When I was twenty, I was playing hide and seek with my niece, and hid on top of the wardrobe... I'd jumped there from a small bookcase a couple feet away, but I didn't account for the fact that I couldn't leap two feet when scrunched between a wardrobe and the ceiling. Needless to say, my dad laughed his a*s off as he retrieved me.
Okay, I can guarandamntee that my dad would never have known about that little oops. At 17 I had a few dozen friend contacts on my phone. I would have called a friend to bring a ladder, climb up to the roof, boost me through the window, climb back down, and obscure any evidence. No chance that I’d want my mom or dad to find out how stupid I’d been.
I must admit I'm loving all my fellow Canadians and Northern US people making comments. California: OMG we're going to freeze to death with only 2 coats at 18°f. Canadians: Hmmmm looks like I'll have to get the lawn mower out soon. Should probably fill up the BBQ tank as well. @ 18°f
5 bucks says he's leaving out one or more VERY important details if he's admitting the claim of his gf and ex that he needed "to prove a point". if he was physically incapable of helping her, what point is there to prove? so sick of these AITA stories where people purposely lie just to get internet strangers on their side to feel good about their crappy side of things. every story has 2 sides. there are no heroes in AITA.
I'm sure he is leaving out details, for example, he might have been home when she got on the roof, then left, knowing she was trapped. We don't know. What we do know is the teen is old enough to know better and plan how she was getting back in, the teen had communications as she was able to call both mom and dad, so if she was in danger she could have called the puce or fire. So the teen was never in real danger and maybe she'll think her actions through in the future
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I'm going with ESH, everybody sucks here. Kid shouldn't have done it. But. She might be used to the cold, but on a roof she can't walk around much to warm up. Also, if it's too dangerous for her to be out there alone, how is it not dangerous enough that you come back and haul her inside? He should've either come home or called the girl's mother himself. If he came home he should've taken her to finish the shopping. Then forbid her from going out there at all and make her go grocery shopping with him since she can't be trusted to do what she's supposed to. Then you protect the kid and give her a more impactful punishment.
So you don't want her on the roof because it's dangerous and she could potentially fall but you let her stay out there for two hours. There are other ways to punish and discipline children without doing petty s**t like this. The whole "I told you so" mindset is a childish a*s thing your older siblings and friends do, not a grown a*s man to his child. But I he's 34 and she's 17 so he had her when he was 17 so guess he just never grew out of that childish a*s mindset. And I'm not saying he put her in danger or she would have froze to death, I'm saying it was unnecessary, immature, and idiotic. That's just my opinion, I don't care if you have other ones or disagree with mine I won't try to convince you otherwise so please don't try to change my opinion.
Why did she even want to go there in the winter. I mean, it could be fun when it's warm, but when it's -8, where's fun in sitting on the roof freezing your a*s off? But seriously though, if she was was appropriate clothes for the weather, and wasn't left there overnight, it should be okay)
She was wearing a winter coat and -8ºC (+17.6ºF) is really not that cold for a winter day in Saskatchewan. We're used to far colder temperatures than that. I once biked to work in -23ºC, plus wind chill.
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NTA. The best way of learning for any age is through Natural Consequences. She decided to get on the roof even though she was told not to and she got stuck outside: natural consequence. Everyone saying he should've just helped her and then take her phone or something away needs to understand that it doesn't hit as hard because all she'll thinking is "I went outside and they took my things, that doesn't even make sense. That's so dumb" it doesn't teach the logical outcome of misbehavior, whereas letting her stay stuck for a bit will make her think "last time I went on the roof myself I got stuck out there, I'm still mad at dad for that but I better not do that again"
Maybe she was looking for a place for alone time some ppl choose the roof cause there privacy in there room was compromised if u are the type to budge in without knocking or looking for a quiet place to relax am sure as a teenager you may of done worst teens take after one of there parents and unknowingly without knowing or realizing it's learnt behavior meaning either you or her mother been on the roof and she copied thinking nothing is wrong and like a few others said you broken her trust by teaching her if she needs help again to never call you again for help if it was me I don't forgive easily not ever adult is right maybe she had bad time at school or something other classmates and teachers can be extremely cruel to ppl they hate for no reason and if she wet herself accidentally on the roof then that on you teenagers will push boundaries as to test you and see what is allowed and what's not and you failed miserly so don't expect her to call u anymore for help she be more hesitant
NTA....gonna learn about consequences sometime in life....17 is old enough to learn that
The brat got what she deserved. At 17, she is more than grown up enough to keep herself out of harm's way. My suggestion to her~~since you have no common sense, put a ladder on the roof and your butt won't freeze in the future. Aside from that, be glad you don't have a father like mine.
"Don't go onto the roof because it's dangerous." "... but not dangerous enough to keep up up there for two more hours."
"F**k around and find out." Completely natural consequences.
Load More Replies... LOVE the consequences!!! Teen learned DDSS. Don’t Do Stupid S—t. She was warned repeatedly not to do what she did for the very reason she ended up needing help! Harmless consequence that made daughter have to consider her actions. Too bad mom didn’t support dad. It would do the teen good to be uncomfortable due to her actions. Maybe next time she’ll think twice before making a bad choice that might have life threatening consequences! You did good Dad!
If the daughter was 7 it'd be a different story. She's 17, it's her own fault. 2 hours is nothing. I live in Ohio, you either get used to the cold fast or you hunker down inside. That said, -8c (around 20f, right?) should be a walk in the park, especially if that part of Canada gets more frigid weather. I remember one time I went sledding and had an accident. Had to wait 5 hours for one of my parents to get home from work. I was 12 at the time and ended up with a stick protruding through my lower chin into upper mouth. I left a message at both my parents work place and that was that. 5 hours later I was at the hospital. Big whoop. Did I learn a lesson? Somewhat, lol. Loved that hill (ravine), but I made darn sure to check the route before another run! Did I get in trouble? You bet, that winter I had to stay inside the rest of winter. Not sure how cold it was then. Just remember it took about 3 hours for the ramp to get properly iced. Good hard snow. :)
I wouldn't have done it but I get where the guy is coming from. I would have rushed home and her punishment would have been public shaming at every family gathering until the end of time. Glad she was ok that's really all that matters.
I don't care what anyone says about temperatures you're used to or coats worn... I get why the dad did it, but I disapprove. He could've told her to call someone to bring a ladder to get her down or something, or made such a call himself. I get it. I grew up in nowhere, and nothing interrupted the weekly run to the stores in town. That said, 1. why not just block access to the roof if this is a continuing problem or 2. put a dang ladder there and give up? If his daughter fell, was injured.... it doesn't take much height to knock someone out or break their limb. No.
Why would he have to call someone to bring a ladder for her? She had a phone; she could call someone herself! Putting a dang ladder there and giving up is bad parenting. And I bet she called her mother, not for help, but to do that thing where kids pit parents against each other to manipulate them!
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Daughter WTA, not you. She ignored you telling her not to go out by herself. You can not drop things at a moments notice for her bullcrap. If she had a phone to call you, she could have called a neighbour or friends to help her down. She was not a 5 year old. She sounds like todays fids, so spoiled and bratty.
She is 17! If she can't handle that, she is in for a rude awakening when she becomes an adult!
She just needs to learn to plan ahead now. Going out onto the roof, take a step top get back in.
While I grew up in Florida, I've lived in Minnesota for most of my life. I also had two children with Oppostional Defiant Disorder. 18 above can cause hypothermia, but not if you're dressed for it. You can also exercise vigorously if you feel cold. I had to let my children feel the consequences of their choices many times. It's called "tough love."
I'm surprised at the YTA comments. She wasn't in danger. She just had to wait for him to get home. She's freaking 17 and knew damned well she couldnt get back in on her own so why tf did she go out there smh?? And all the people saying she can't count on him and won't call him obviously didn't read the comments where he has repeatedly been there for her when dire. And it wasn't a cruel moment it WAS in fact a teachable moment where she learned A: dad has rules to protect me and B: actions have consequences. Yall YTA ppl are ridiculous. Grow up
People around the world always say “Saskatchewan is nothing but Prairie and Canadian versions of Florida men. Well this is some proof that sh*t goes down in my province sometimes xD
Why is this article trying so hard to get us to say and think that this man IS the jerk? Like look at the wording after it's realized that most people think he's NTA...
NTA. She played stupid games so she gets to win stupid prizes. She's 17, not 7 jfc.
Honestly this is his daughter that he knows best. He knows what she can and can't withhold. He also knows that this wasn't a mistake she made but was her intentionally defying him after he has told her not to do it countless times. She was disobedient and she paid the (very small) price.
It's like when I used to climb tree's as a kid and get stuck, and my dad would say, "you got yourself up there, you can get yourself down."
NTA. She kinda deserved it... she's not really a kid, she's almost an adult, she should know better.
She had a phone. If she really needed help, she could have called for emergency help. The daughter is TA and so are the mom and girlfriend.
When your daughter refuses to visit you in your old folk ho.e now you know why. Try being less trash
So this kid was on the roof, a roof she goes out on all the time, and was wearing appropriate clothing for the cold and people are chastising dad? Nonsense. It wasn't like she was trapped outside in her nightgown or without a coat. Everyone who chastised this dad should lighten up. She grew up in Saskatchewan and goes out on that roof all the time, obviously. She even rolls in snow half dressed for fun doing snow angels. She might have started to get cold on that roof but no way was she in jeopardy in only 2 hours with 2 coats and blanket etc. And she had a phone and called mom. So if mom was so upset, why didn't she call for some emergency assistance? I say dad did just fine. Maybe now that teenager will understand dad had a reason for his rule.
Reading these replays makes me hope some of you never have kids. Leaving a child on a roof for not listening isnt ok. He should be charged with child neglect because that's what he did he neglected her need. What happens of she slips and falls trying to get down? You gonna be ok with having a paraplegic daughter because you wanted to prove a point? Some of y'all petty as hell.
Whatever, if you're canadian you know -8 is nooothing (literal sweater weather) compared to -30 to -40 with windchill. She sounded super prepared with a thick sweater, 2 coats and a blanket. She's also 17, verging on going to uni--at this point she needs to take care of herself, own up to her choices and have some critical thinking while being self sufficient. The dad was also busy doing grocery errands 2 towns over (you know how spread out the prairies are if you're a true norther) so expecting him to stop a grocery trip and drive all the way back when she's perfectly fine is ridiculous. If you ask me, the people calling the dad are the real AH. They're the type to raise ADULT CHILDREN who need to depend on people their whole lives--good luck with that then, go wipe their a**es since you want to keep cleaning their messes when they sh*t themselves.
I don't know why he posted the story for a vote. He finished his chore and came home. She was fine. Sounds like her mother likes to call him an A**hole any chance she gets. And to get the daughter to her side. It's a divorce problem, in my opinion. He didn't do anything wrong.
If she's 5' and the window is at 4' of height it means she's taller than the height of the window, and extending her arms even more. I fail to understand how a 17 y.o. girl can't climb up something shorter than herself if she doesn't have some kind of physical impairment...
NTA. When I was a teen, I was staying the night at a friend's house. His mom warned us not to sneak out the window, as we always did. When we did and came back home, the window was locked. It was cold and snow was on the ground. We "froze" for a little while then eventually woke his house up to get back inside. The lesson was, "That's what you get for not following rules" and she also left the back door unlocked for us if we would've checked. She should've listened to you. Also, "a lack of planning on her part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on your part."
What the YTA voters don't understand is that it's constantly cold there. It wasn't like a random 18°f day.... No they're weather is ALWAYS that cold and even colder. So yes she LIVES in this weather daily, goes out on the roof and elsewhere in this weather for extended periods of time, and has learned how to not freeze to death while being outside for hours. So, she was perfectly fine. As for everyone saying that she won't call him when she needs help now, he has started again and again that she already has. He has her on weekends which is obviously part time for kids her age. So I don't doubt that she's called him plenty of times. And by the next weekend she comes out, she'll be ready to call again. . . . Now what everyone else fails to realize is that SHE HAD HER EFFING PHONE PEOPLE! if she were in any real danger, she could have called police, ambulance, fire rescue.
It takes a village to raise a child. She needs to own it and move on. Let your lessoning be your blessings!
She’s not a child , take a chair or fire escape ladder that hinges on the window sill to climb back in !!!!Dad make sure to buy those fire escape ladders if you don’t already have them! Or if she wants to get fresh air close her bedroom door so the cold air doesn’t cool off the rest of the house ,open the window pull a chair up to it and let that sub freezing wind hit your face young lady!!! GROW UP!!!! In 3 or 4 years you’re gonna have to fend for yourself so start thinking like you’re on your way to a grownup world!!!!
She’s old enough to know that she’s gonna be between a rock and a hard spot if at 5foot she can’t climb back in , especially if she’s home alone or dad’s outside or in another room and can’t hear her!!!! Get a frikkin ladder to climb back in or a fire escape ladder that hinges onto the window sill! She’s obviously been told not to go on to the roof! She knew her dad was gonna go shopping! She knows he works all week long & the weekend is the only time he has to buy groceries & pay bills, so was she being rebellious like I can go on the roof if I want to😡She’s a brat! If she wants to feel the cold air then open the window sit in front of it on a chair!!!!There you’re safe!!!!DAD NAIL THE FRIKKIN WINDOW SHUT!!! CASE CLOSED!!! No more trouble with the incorrigible teenager!!!
If you've not lived with a teenage girl recently then shut up on this one. 😂
Definitely 100% not a responsible way to teach anything to anyone especially a teenager. #1 rule for health and safety for absolutely anyone, you don’t put or keep anyone in a health and safety risk no matter the level of risk. For a parent to not understand this is disgusting. Out in the cold and on a roof is 100% a health and safety risk. In the best of weather, anyone on a roof should always have a safety plan, be it a 2nd person assisting or just watching, a harness, a safe way to get on and off, etc. A teenager on a roof is a huge health and safety risk. For 2 hours!?!. This father’s method of teaching a lesson is incredibly old school ignorance that science and history taught us long ago doesn’t work and instead can easily cause a ton of harm psychology, emotionally and obviously in this case physically. All the excuses he gives in his replies also says he has one heck of an ego that is much more important than the physical and mental well being of his child.
wtf? Easy answer. Yes. Boy. Yes boy. Let me put you on my roof in 100 degree temp because I said so. He knows better
Our parents were strict but fair. If you do the crime, you pay the price. You didn't cross my parents more than once. When we were out in public, all it took was a stern look from dad, that's all we needed. My parents were consistent, you didn't dare play one against the other. Their 7 children all grew up disciplined and successful thanks to their life lessons and work ethics. They prepared us for life, accept responsibility and accountability. No lame excuses.
The girl is 17 almost , adult age , for people who didn't have stubborn teenagers you all need to chill out. She chose to disobey her father's concerns about her going out on the roof and made empty promises to stop doing it , but still didn't heed the warning. Our children will never learn to respect their parents and listen of there is not some risk. The girl never gotten hurt and she knows she was'nt able to get back in from the roof, why did she put herself in that predicament in the first place knowing her father is out doing errands or shopping for the home . The daughter is at fault and she needs to realize she needs to own up for her mistakes and stop babying our children when they need to learn how to take care of themselves and get out of tough and stuck situations without calling for help. It is not the Father's fault . So everyone better think twice when your child decides to put themselves in harm's way, then you parents get blamed for not raising your child right .
I’m 38(F) and as a teen and then stuff my parents told me not to do. My mom swore by the whole the best life lessons are learned by doing it yourself. There were times that I got myself in situations that my parents are told me not to do or had warned me about and being in those situations taught me the lesson of it don’t do it again. At the same time certain situations I had to call my dad and ask him to come get me or come help me and he was always right there. Just being put in the situation scared me enough to not do it again but my dad being right there also gave me the security of knowing I had somebody to count on if I ever needed the help. You really have to weigh each situation as it comes but sometimes put the life lesson aside and let Her now she can count on her dad no matter what. My dad passed five years ago and I still feel like I can count on him because he was always there for me.
😂😂😂😂🤣😂 I am sorry, but this funny to me as well! When I was still in year 1 of school, my school had a 2 hour late start because of the snow. My brother and sister are both older than me and went to the same school with me decided to stay home. While my was at work but they seemed to think it was fair to send me to school. I had a different idea, I did not think it was very fair or right. So I skipped school until I heard the bell ringing from the school which was close to our house. I was dressed very warm for the weather and did what huskies do. I dug myself a little warm place in the snow and waited there 😅 I was thinking I would teach them a lesson for trying to get me to go to school while they stayed home. My sister who sounded like our mom called the school to see if I had gotten there safely. Boy was I embarrassed when I got home and my brother and sister asked me how school was. But seriously I was pissed off that they got to stay home and I didn't.
I'm sorry: Had anyone else had to check if it wasn't '17 MONTH OLD'? Hell, quite pretty sure it was uncomfortable for her, but you're DEFINITELY NOT THE AHOLE!!!
I am from colorado and we see similar temps; rarely do we ever match canada's cold as a whole. So i understand buting temps without even a third layer and being mad. However it was 15°f, had two laters on and is 17 and should know better. You're not the a*****e; just a good parent and a great teacher. Im m24 with no kids however i do have some sence from watching my parents with my siblings as i wanted to learn by watching.
YTA, petty af. You are supposed to be the grown-up. Being inconvenienced is part of that.
How would that encourage her to obey her father? That sounds like bad parenting to me.
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I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the window is 4ft, the daughter is 5 ft and still she can't get back in without any help? I can understand a lot of people can't pull their weight if the object is 1ft taller. But 1ft shorter???
You were a parent at 17 yourself so I wouldn't call you TAH because that can be tough and it sounds like you've really stepped up. But you really need to think about what could have happened because even though you're used to those temperatures, something can always go wrong. As a nurse my first thoughts were was she wearing gloves, a hat and boots with heavy socks and just how heavy were those coats? What was the wind chill factor? Was the sun out, was it snowing or anything? These can all be factors that can lead to hypothermia. I'm your neighbor from just south of the border and lived in northern Michigan so I'm used to the cold but even though I grew up in it, I'm intolerant to the cold, so I would have been in trouble. Just something to think about if anything like this ever comes up again, but I think you both may be a little bit wiser. Maybe she could get a step stool for on the roof to help her get back in. Even teenagers still get scared sometimes even though they know it all.
I would think that the father considered all of that when he told his team multiple times not to go out on the roof alone! Why are you assuming he didn't?
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Grew up NW Chicago. Winter temps were brutal. We five kids would be sent outside to walk off our temper tantrum behaviors. When it's low teens outside we lasted about one hour before apologizing and begging to be let back in. Never got hit! This is a genius parenting tool. No bad language needed. Nothing physical. It made us own up to our own behavior.
And to learned helplessness when it teaches you to shut up or else....
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That is abuse, sounds like manipulation to justify it. Stop pretending like this is a normal lesson, there are better ways to communicate with your children. Lots of people who live in cold climates still aren't okay to be in the cold like that. I know i grew up in mountain towns. That's child endangerment and i bet that kid moves away and stops talking to a parent who doesn't respect their own child. Respect goes both ways parents can't use manipulation techniques and think they're kid is going to learn a lesson. The only lesson learned there is not to trust their parent.
I'd say the lesson she learned is not to call you when she needs help or is frightened...so- Good job!
It’s was 66 degrees Fahrenheit! That’s not cold! 18 degrees centigrade translates to spring time warm weather of 66
What? It was -8 Celsius and 18 fariegnheit! Where are you getting that from?
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Normally, in these aita situations, nobody is really innocent and both parties are in the wrong in some way, but here I totes think he was waaayy out of pocket! You punish your teenager by taking away their electronics, or their freedom on the weekend. Not by leaving them outside in freezing temperatures, when they don't even know how long they will be in that situation!! You absolutely DO NOT leave your child in ANY situation where their health could be jeopardized in any possible way!
Let's see he got a girl pregnant at 17, whom he suggests he didn't love enough to marry, pretty big No NO, but his daughter just got stuck on a roof at 17...hmmm...the offspring of the man who did not listen to everyone older and wiser who tell teens hundreds of times Don't have sex if you aren't ready for a family, marriage and responsibility, don't have unprotected sex, etc.... He's definitely an enormous hypocrite for holding her to a higher standard than his 17 year old self and should be thanking God he only has to worry about her disobeying about the roof and isnt having a baby right now like her parents at her age. Smh. Yep, all around A if you ask me, who needs some perspective. Sometimes it is not the little details like the number of coats or distance from home, but instead is BIG THEMES and patterns and to step back to see the real story and BIG pictures in life. He, of all people.should be more empathetic and less judgemental/hard headed with His" I told You so's."
He got a girl pregnant at 17 and it probably f****d his life for a while. He would be the guy to listen to about doing dumb s**t as a kid, he did it and it blew up in his face. He knows. It's not hypocritical, he's trying to protect his kid from following in his less than stellar footprints.
Load More Replies... No one is pointing out that he was 40 minutes away from home and took 2 hours to get home. He never once stated whether he asked if she did or didn't have safe clothes on for the weather. What if she had been out there for that 2 hours without safe clothing on? Especially with the completely real covid going around I doubt her being in danger weathers in would help her stay healthy. And so what if she lives in Canada? She's still human with a complex body make-up. She can still be harmed by weather's she's used to. Ignorance is bliss isn't it
Yes he was a 40 minute drive away but he was taking care of stuff that he was unable to during the week. So he finished up what he was doing, most likely skipping some things that were not necessary, and came home. It wasn't like she was 7 years old, she's 17 and it wasn't really cold out. Yes he never stated whether or not he asked about how she was dressed, that doesn't mean that he didn't. But even if he had mentioned that he checked y'all would be upset that he didn't immediately rush home because his daughter was experiencing minor discomfort because she did something that she wasn't supposed to do. My only concern is why she can't hoist herself through a 4ft window when she is 5ft tall.
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Or..instead of waiting for the inevitable , the dad could have been proactive and installed a rope ladder or something so that if she got stuck outside shed have a means to get back in. Just sayin 🤷♀️
YTA and don’t be surprised when her time at your place dwindles. When you set out to teach your kid a lesson like this, the only lesson you teach them is that you are a jerk. They learn that one really well.
Sure, making your point is a priority Dad. That is until someone gets maimed or killed. Then, not so funny is it? You could have been in an accident or killed on your way home...what if the weather changed, your daughter had a medical incident etc...an NO ONE, especially YOU, her Dad came to help her? What lesson did you teach her this time around? Your Daughter CANNOT COUNT ON YOU, when she needs help....with anything. Yep. You sure taught her a lesson. She is an inconvenience and won't get help when she needs it. This time grocery shopping was a helluva lot more important. What a great message for a kid from her father. YTA.
SHE HAD A PHONE!!!!! If he had taken longer, she could have called many people to help; her mother didn't find it necessary to come. She could have called 911 for immediate assistance if she felt in danger.
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Going to echo the YTA because this is setting her up to drive home drunk instead of calling her dad to pick her up if she winds up drinking at a party he told her not to go to. He should have told her his honest time estimate, wrapped up quickly, and come home-- or talked her through to a different solution, like calling a friend to help. He could give her a different punishment later, like docked allowance or something. OP said he's been there for her unfailingly, but trust takes years to build and only seconds to break. Another important point that was made: he'll only save her if he agrees with her life choices. Finally, that temperature is hypothermia territory. Especially if you're not physically active, properly protected, etc. It's excusable if he checked that she was properly dressed to withstand an entire two hours (rather than at 15 minute trip to the roof) first; otherwise, it's criminal.
She was wearing her winter coat. If people stayed indoors at *that* temperature in Saskatchewan, they'd never ever leave the house. We usually get temperatures far colder than that, so with a winter coat on she was in no danger of freezing.
Load More Replies... One of my dad's favorite sayings was always, "The best lessons in life are the ones you pay for." Well she paid, good lesson.
What was dad supposed to do, drive 40 min to let her in then 40 min back to get the groceries? It was 18 F, she was properly dressed, and had access to call for more immediate help if needed. I'm all the way south in Minnesota and that's a beautiful day here (at least in January). He didn't leave her there to teach her a lesson, he just didn't drop everything to bail her out when she wasn't in danger.
He was supposed to say, it will be about 2 hours so she should call someone else who has a key or ladder. That's all he had to say. Simple and makes her feel embarrassed to call around but teaches her how to get out of her own dilemmas and is honest, completely honest with no appearance of wanting to make her suffer a bit. That's the answer
Load More Replies... As a life long Saskatchewan resident ..... -8 is nothing, especially if she had two coats on. Seems like something my parents would have done. We Saskatchewan people are a hardy folk :)
Yeah, everyone saying YTA seems to think it was in some way unsafe or cruel. This is like you threw your supper in the garbage and had to wait two hours for more food. Ain't nobody going to starve in that time, and similarly she was perfectly fine and perfectly safe, just bored.
Load More Replies... NTA. I'm not dropping what I'm doing to save my almost adult child from their bad decisions if they aren't in any imminent danger. That's not my job. In fact, that's the absolute opposite of my job and I'd only be hurting my child in the long run. My job is to teach her right from wrong and help hone her ability to make thoughtful and rational decisions. In order to do that, she HAS to be able to comprehend that actions have consequences and I mean reeeally understand the concept bc I can say it all day long, but until she has the experience for herself she won't take my warnings seriously. That's just life and being a teenager. It's not about saying, "I told you so" or even punishing them. It's about being a parent and giving your child the skills to make good sensible choices, and think before they act. We don't come equipped with that ability. I'd much rather she learned those type of lessons doing something benign at home and not something life altering once she's out on her own.
Absolutamente no! Absolutely no! You warned her, she didn't listen, it's on her!
That one comment saying teens make mistakes, yes they do, and they need to learn the lesson through its consequences sometimes, he's already talked about it before and it was useless, she'd probably do this again if he didn't leave her.
Load More Replies... What I really don't get is this: if the girl is too short to get back in thru the window by herself, why hasn't she put a small stepladder, or even a wood box outside the window, to be left there permanently (or until the kid leaves home)??? SMH.
I could climb the roof when I was 6. I sat on the roof w my neighbour friend. Lol the neighbours saw it of course and warned my parents.
Load More Replies... For the record, -8ºC is a fairly mild winter day for Saskatchewan. That's about 17.6ºF, for Americans. Our coldest days are more like -25 to -35ºC. With added wind chill, it can seem more like -45ºC. So this girl would definitely have had adequate clothing for -8ºC.
I'm really pissed at the people saying that after what the father did, his daughter will stop asking him for help if she is ever in trouble again. First of all, if an incident such as this causes the end of trust between 2 family members then people really seem to forget how strong are familial bonds. Second of all, yes a parent is supposed to be there of their child during there time of need but they are also supposed to punish the child when it is needed. The teen was informed may time of the reasons to which the father forbid her from going on the roof and she repeatedly ignored him.
You also don't seem to understand how easily "familial" bonds can be broken. Family doesn't realistically mean anything when your self safety is put into mind. As I haven't talked to family in over 3 years. Family is rarely ever supportive when it realistically matters.
Load More Replies... NTA - but a good chance to talk to her about common sense and to think a bit ahead about the potential consequences of her actions. All she had to do was take a wood box or small step ladder with her.
I don't get why they didn't just move a step ladder out there so she could get back in the window.
'cause her dad won't have her to be on the roof in general. He's only tolerating this, when she got friends over. And obviously he had told her multiple times. So why encourage her solely tolerated behavior by providing a step ladder?
Load More Replies... NTA. I'm a parent with a master's degree in childhood development. The OP is trying to teach his daughter the lessons she'll need to survive in life. One of the BEST ways is by allowing for logical consequences. If you don't wear a coat, you'll be cold. If you don't put your homework in your backpack, you'll get a zero. If you go onto the roof, you might not be able to get back inside. There is nothing wrong with his actions. When I taught middle school, you wouldn't BELIEVE how babyfied the kids were because their parents always rescued them. They would LEAVE THEIR JOBS to bring the coats and forgotten assignments them. When my own son was in middle school, he forgot his lunchbox. I took it to him the first time, explaining that was his "Oops," and I would not bring it to him again. Less than a week later, he did it again. Even though I didn't want him to go hungry, I stood my ground. He never forgot it again. If I took it again, he'd still be forgetting it. They have to learn!!!
I've been locked out longer in the sane temperatures. No cell phone to call anyone. Just stuck outside for 4 hrs till mom got off work. They finally decided I was responsible enough for a house key after that. I cut and chopped enough wood for the rest of the month in those 4 hrs though. To be fair she wasn't supposed to be at work that long. She was supposed to be home before me. Then hi5 black ice in the way home and had to be towed out of a ditch. So mine wasn't punishment. But that girl was fine. All I had on was a fleece sweater. That's when I learned get that blood flowing and you will be fine. I got so hot at some point I had to take the sweater off.
I live in Wisconsin. That temperature isn't *that* cold in the winter as long as you have outerwear on. People do winter sports for many hours outside without issues. Really not a big deal.
Something tells me the people voting YTA have horrible children. The type that don't get invited to weddings and such for being unruly and obnoxious. I bet she won't go out there alone again. That's the point.
Heard about a murder case years ago in American. Was in a wider true crime story. Different to this but made me think of it. Daughter kept coming home late so her parents locked her out to teach her a lesson. It was something like 2am when she got home and couldn't get it. As it was late she didn't go to her friends house (I think her friend mum was also annoyed) She went missing and turned up dead.
That's different than be stuck on the roof after being told not to go out there alone. In the story you told the parents aren't at fault either. They may feel guilt that their daughter died but she could have gone missing long before she came home and it wouldn't have made a difference. She could have disappeared another day coming home late as well. A teen should never be coming home that late either.
Load More Replies... Anyone else read how he was grocery shopping 40min away? If he'd dropped what he was doing, he wouldn't be home much earlier, and he'd have had to go back out to finish it for at least 2 hours - I'd be thinking she'd have climbed back out in the meantime - it's just a risk assessment on his part. Other comments are right, she could have called the fire department if she was really in danger, but he couldn't just snap his fingers and be there, could he?
Grocery shopping takes awhile when there's nothing to eat in your house. That with the 40 minute drive could have easily been a 3 hour trip. (Closer to 7 if my mom is there =). Even though you've told her many times, sounds like you always rescue her from the situation. Glad you let her stay there until you got back this time.
-8 C isn't that bad. I'm guessing that she's around 110-120 pounds (average BMI for a 5'0 teen girl.) She's got TWO coats and blankets, she's fine.
I am also a 5'0 teen girl. I weigh 112 pounds, so I can hang on for at least an hour at negative Fahrenheit temps before being harmed. -8C is 17F. With the added cover of TWO coats, AND blankets, she can build herself some shelter too. She's fine, NTA.
Load More Replies... She had a phone, if she felt her life was in danger then she would have called an emergency number and not her father and later her mom to complain to.
One thing people need to know is that -8 C is 17.6 F. Yes...it is cold. It is even below freezing. But she was wearing 2 coats and a sweater. She had her phone with her as evidenced that she called both her Dad and her Mom. If she felt she was in extreme danger she could have easily called the fire department. FYI... she had been told where her Dad was and what he was doing. She was warmly dressed. Climbing out on the roof was her choice.
I love in MN. It gets COLD here. 18 is not cold. 18 is not dangerous if you are dressed decently. Actions have consequences. I bet she won't do it again. Lesson learned.
NTA. I suspect that YTA responders haven't raised teens. If she was smart enough to climb down onto the roof a million times, she was smart enough to bring something with her to climb back up to the window as needed. Duh.
Not only would my daddy have left my behind up there the 2 hours, I’d have gotten a belt whipping for being irresponsible and stupid not to mention outright disobeying my parents!
Amen to that. Parents were the same way raising me.
Load More Replies... Everyone voting YTA clearly has no clue what living in Sask is like; -8 is nothing. Especially when you're dressed for the weather, which she was. She is 17, and old enough to realize that actions have consequences, sometimes teenagers need a harsher reminder of that though. No harm came to her, she was fine asides from her pride perhaps.
When I was twenty, I was playing hide and seek with my niece, and hid on top of the wardrobe... I'd jumped there from a small bookcase a couple feet away, but I didn't account for the fact that I couldn't leap two feet when scrunched between a wardrobe and the ceiling. Needless to say, my dad laughed his a*s off as he retrieved me.
Okay, I can guarandamntee that my dad would never have known about that little oops. At 17 I had a few dozen friend contacts on my phone. I would have called a friend to bring a ladder, climb up to the roof, boost me through the window, climb back down, and obscure any evidence. No chance that I’d want my mom or dad to find out how stupid I’d been.
I must admit I'm loving all my fellow Canadians and Northern US people making comments. California: OMG we're going to freeze to death with only 2 coats at 18°f. Canadians: Hmmmm looks like I'll have to get the lawn mower out soon. Should probably fill up the BBQ tank as well. @ 18°f
5 bucks says he's leaving out one or more VERY important details if he's admitting the claim of his gf and ex that he needed "to prove a point". if he was physically incapable of helping her, what point is there to prove? so sick of these AITA stories where people purposely lie just to get internet strangers on their side to feel good about their crappy side of things. every story has 2 sides. there are no heroes in AITA.
I'm sure he is leaving out details, for example, he might have been home when she got on the roof, then left, knowing she was trapped. We don't know. What we do know is the teen is old enough to know better and plan how she was getting back in, the teen had communications as she was able to call both mom and dad, so if she was in danger she could have called the puce or fire. So the teen was never in real danger and maybe she'll think her actions through in the future
Load More Replies... I'm going with ESH, everybody sucks here. Kid shouldn't have done it. But. She might be used to the cold, but on a roof she can't walk around much to warm up. Also, if it's too dangerous for her to be out there alone, how is it not dangerous enough that you come back and haul her inside? He should've either come home or called the girl's mother himself. If he came home he should've taken her to finish the shopping. Then forbid her from going out there at all and make her go grocery shopping with him since she can't be trusted to do what she's supposed to. Then you protect the kid and give her a more impactful punishment.
So you don't want her on the roof because it's dangerous and she could potentially fall but you let her stay out there for two hours. There are other ways to punish and discipline children without doing petty s**t like this. The whole "I told you so" mindset is a childish a*s thing your older siblings and friends do, not a grown a*s man to his child. But I he's 34 and she's 17 so he had her when he was 17 so guess he just never grew out of that childish a*s mindset. And I'm not saying he put her in danger or she would have froze to death, I'm saying it was unnecessary, immature, and idiotic. That's just my opinion, I don't care if you have other ones or disagree with mine I won't try to convince you otherwise so please don't try to change my opinion.
Why did she even want to go there in the winter. I mean, it could be fun when it's warm, but when it's -8, where's fun in sitting on the roof freezing your a*s off? But seriously though, if she was was appropriate clothes for the weather, and wasn't left there overnight, it should be okay)
She was wearing a winter coat and -8ºC (+17.6ºF) is really not that cold for a winter day in Saskatchewan. We're used to far colder temperatures than that. I once biked to work in -23ºC, plus wind chill.
Load More Replies... NTA. The best way of learning for any age is through Natural Consequences. She decided to get on the roof even though she was told not to and she got stuck outside: natural consequence. Everyone saying he should've just helped her and then take her phone or something away needs to understand that it doesn't hit as hard because all she'll thinking is "I went outside and they took my things, that doesn't even make sense. That's so dumb" it doesn't teach the logical outcome of misbehavior, whereas letting her stay stuck for a bit will make her think "last time I went on the roof myself I got stuck out there, I'm still mad at dad for that but I better not do that again"
Maybe she was looking for a place for alone time some ppl choose the roof cause there privacy in there room was compromised if u are the type to budge in without knocking or looking for a quiet place to relax am sure as a teenager you may of done worst teens take after one of there parents and unknowingly without knowing or realizing it's learnt behavior meaning either you or her mother been on the roof and she copied thinking nothing is wrong and like a few others said you broken her trust by teaching her if she needs help again to never call you again for help if it was me I don't forgive easily not ever adult is right maybe she had bad time at school or something other classmates and teachers can be extremely cruel to ppl they hate for no reason and if she wet herself accidentally on the roof then that on you teenagers will push boundaries as to test you and see what is allowed and what's not and you failed miserly so don't expect her to call u anymore for help she be more hesitant
NTA....gonna learn about consequences sometime in life....17 is old enough to learn that
The brat got what she deserved. At 17, she is more than grown up enough to keep herself out of harm's way. My suggestion to her~~since you have no common sense, put a ladder on the roof and your butt won't freeze in the future. Aside from that, be glad you don't have a father like mine.
"Don't go onto the roof because it's dangerous." "... but not dangerous enough to keep up up there for two more hours."
"F**k around and find out." Completely natural consequences.
Load More Replies... LOVE the consequences!!! Teen learned DDSS. Don’t Do Stupid S—t. She was warned repeatedly not to do what she did for the very reason she ended up needing help! Harmless consequence that made daughter have to consider her actions. Too bad mom didn’t support dad. It would do the teen good to be uncomfortable due to her actions. Maybe next time she’ll think twice before making a bad choice that might have life threatening consequences! You did good Dad!
If the daughter was 7 it'd be a different story. She's 17, it's her own fault. 2 hours is nothing. I live in Ohio, you either get used to the cold fast or you hunker down inside. That said, -8c (around 20f, right?) should be a walk in the park, especially if that part of Canada gets more frigid weather. I remember one time I went sledding and had an accident. Had to wait 5 hours for one of my parents to get home from work. I was 12 at the time and ended up with a stick protruding through my lower chin into upper mouth. I left a message at both my parents work place and that was that. 5 hours later I was at the hospital. Big whoop. Did I learn a lesson? Somewhat, lol. Loved that hill (ravine), but I made darn sure to check the route before another run! Did I get in trouble? You bet, that winter I had to stay inside the rest of winter. Not sure how cold it was then. Just remember it took about 3 hours for the ramp to get properly iced. Good hard snow. :)
I wouldn't have done it but I get where the guy is coming from. I would have rushed home and her punishment would have been public shaming at every family gathering until the end of time. Glad she was ok that's really all that matters.
I don't care what anyone says about temperatures you're used to or coats worn... I get why the dad did it, but I disapprove. He could've told her to call someone to bring a ladder to get her down or something, or made such a call himself. I get it. I grew up in nowhere, and nothing interrupted the weekly run to the stores in town. That said, 1. why not just block access to the roof if this is a continuing problem or 2. put a dang ladder there and give up? If his daughter fell, was injured.... it doesn't take much height to knock someone out or break their limb. No.
Why would he have to call someone to bring a ladder for her? She had a phone; she could call someone herself! Putting a dang ladder there and giving up is bad parenting. And I bet she called her mother, not for help, but to do that thing where kids pit parents against each other to manipulate them!
Load More Replies... Daughter WTA, not you. She ignored you telling her not to go out by herself. You can not drop things at a moments notice for her bullcrap. If she had a phone to call you, she could have called a neighbour or friends to help her down. She was not a 5 year old. She sounds like todays fids, so spoiled and bratty.
She is 17! If she can't handle that, she is in for a rude awakening when she becomes an adult!
She just needs to learn to plan ahead now. Going out onto the roof, take a step top get back in.
While I grew up in Florida, I've lived in Minnesota for most of my life. I also had two children with Oppostional Defiant Disorder. 18 above can cause hypothermia, but not if you're dressed for it. You can also exercise vigorously if you feel cold. I had to let my children feel the consequences of their choices many times. It's called "tough love."
I'm surprised at the YTA comments. She wasn't in danger. She just had to wait for him to get home. She's freaking 17 and knew damned well she couldnt get back in on her own so why tf did she go out there smh?? And all the people saying she can't count on him and won't call him obviously didn't read the comments where he has repeatedly been there for her when dire. And it wasn't a cruel moment it WAS in fact a teachable moment where she learned A: dad has rules to protect me and B: actions have consequences. Yall YTA ppl are ridiculous. Grow up
People around the world always say “Saskatchewan is nothing but Prairie and Canadian versions of Florida men. Well this is some proof that sh*t goes down in my province sometimes xD
Why is this article trying so hard to get us to say and think that this man IS the jerk? Like look at the wording after it's realized that most people think he's NTA...
NTA. She played stupid games so she gets to win stupid prizes. She's 17, not 7 jfc.
Honestly this is his daughter that he knows best. He knows what she can and can't withhold. He also knows that this wasn't a mistake she made but was her intentionally defying him after he has told her not to do it countless times. She was disobedient and she paid the (very small) price.
It's like when I used to climb tree's as a kid and get stuck, and my dad would say, "you got yourself up there, you can get yourself down."
NTA. She kinda deserved it... she's not really a kid, she's almost an adult, she should know better.
She had a phone. If she really needed help, she could have called for emergency help. The daughter is TA and so are the mom and girlfriend.
When your daughter refuses to visit you in your old folk ho.e now you know why. Try being less trash
So this kid was on the roof, a roof she goes out on all the time, and was wearing appropriate clothing for the cold and people are chastising dad? Nonsense. It wasn't like she was trapped outside in her nightgown or without a coat. Everyone who chastised this dad should lighten up. She grew up in Saskatchewan and goes out on that roof all the time, obviously. She even rolls in snow half dressed for fun doing snow angels. She might have started to get cold on that roof but no way was she in jeopardy in only 2 hours with 2 coats and blanket etc. And she had a phone and called mom. So if mom was so upset, why didn't she call for some emergency assistance? I say dad did just fine. Maybe now that teenager will understand dad had a reason for his rule.
Reading these replays makes me hope some of you never have kids. Leaving a child on a roof for not listening isnt ok. He should be charged with child neglect because that's what he did he neglected her need. What happens of she slips and falls trying to get down? You gonna be ok with having a paraplegic daughter because you wanted to prove a point? Some of y'all petty as hell.
Whatever, if you're canadian you know -8 is nooothing (literal sweater weather) compared to -30 to -40 with windchill. She sounded super prepared with a thick sweater, 2 coats and a blanket. She's also 17, verging on going to uni--at this point she needs to take care of herself, own up to her choices and have some critical thinking while being self sufficient. The dad was also busy doing grocery errands 2 towns over (you know how spread out the prairies are if you're a true norther) so expecting him to stop a grocery trip and drive all the way back when she's perfectly fine is ridiculous. If you ask me, the people calling the dad are the real AH. They're the type to raise ADULT CHILDREN who need to depend on people their whole lives--good luck with that then, go wipe their a**es since you want to keep cleaning their messes when they sh*t themselves.
I don't know why he posted the story for a vote. He finished his chore and came home. She was fine. Sounds like her mother likes to call him an A**hole any chance she gets. And to get the daughter to her side. It's a divorce problem, in my opinion. He didn't do anything wrong.
If she's 5' and the window is at 4' of height it means she's taller than the height of the window, and extending her arms even more. I fail to understand how a 17 y.o. girl can't climb up something shorter than herself if she doesn't have some kind of physical impairment...
NTA. When I was a teen, I was staying the night at a friend's house. His mom warned us not to sneak out the window, as we always did. When we did and came back home, the window was locked. It was cold and snow was on the ground. We "froze" for a little while then eventually woke his house up to get back inside. The lesson was, "That's what you get for not following rules" and she also left the back door unlocked for us if we would've checked. She should've listened to you. Also, "a lack of planning on her part does not necessarily constitute an emergency on your part."
What the YTA voters don't understand is that it's constantly cold there. It wasn't like a random 18°f day.... No they're weather is ALWAYS that cold and even colder. So yes she LIVES in this weather daily, goes out on the roof and elsewhere in this weather for extended periods of time, and has learned how to not freeze to death while being outside for hours. So, she was perfectly fine. As for everyone saying that she won't call him when she needs help now, he has started again and again that she already has. He has her on weekends which is obviously part time for kids her age. So I don't doubt that she's called him plenty of times. And by the next weekend she comes out, she'll be ready to call again. . . . Now what everyone else fails to realize is that SHE HAD HER EFFING PHONE PEOPLE! if she were in any real danger, she could have called police, ambulance, fire rescue.
It takes a village to raise a child. She needs to own it and move on. Let your lessoning be your blessings!
She’s not a child , take a chair or fire escape ladder that hinges on the window sill to climb back in !!!!Dad make sure to buy those fire escape ladders if you don’t already have them! Or if she wants to get fresh air close her bedroom door so the cold air doesn’t cool off the rest of the house ,open the window pull a chair up to it and let that sub freezing wind hit your face young lady!!! GROW UP!!!! In 3 or 4 years you’re gonna have to fend for yourself so start thinking like you’re on your way to a grownup world!!!!
She’s old enough to know that she’s gonna be between a rock and a hard spot if at 5foot she can’t climb back in , especially if she’s home alone or dad’s outside or in another room and can’t hear her!!!! Get a frikkin ladder to climb back in or a fire escape ladder that hinges onto the window sill! She’s obviously been told not to go on to the roof! She knew her dad was gonna go shopping! She knows he works all week long & the weekend is the only time he has to buy groceries & pay bills, so was she being rebellious like I can go on the roof if I want to😡She’s a brat! If she wants to feel the cold air then open the window sit in front of it on a chair!!!!There you’re safe!!!!DAD NAIL THE FRIKKIN WINDOW SHUT!!! CASE CLOSED!!! No more trouble with the incorrigible teenager!!!
If you've not lived with a teenage girl recently then shut up on this one. 😂
Definitely 100% not a responsible way to teach anything to anyone especially a teenager. #1 rule for health and safety for absolutely anyone, you don’t put or keep anyone in a health and safety risk no matter the level of risk. For a parent to not understand this is disgusting. Out in the cold and on a roof is 100% a health and safety risk. In the best of weather, anyone on a roof should always have a safety plan, be it a 2nd person assisting or just watching, a harness, a safe way to get on and off, etc. A teenager on a roof is a huge health and safety risk. For 2 hours!?!. This father’s method of teaching a lesson is incredibly old school ignorance that science and history taught us long ago doesn’t work and instead can easily cause a ton of harm psychology, emotionally and obviously in this case physically. All the excuses he gives in his replies also says he has one heck of an ego that is much more important than the physical and mental well being of his child.
wtf? Easy answer. Yes. Boy. Yes boy. Let me put you on my roof in 100 degree temp because I said so. He knows better
Our parents were strict but fair. If you do the crime, you pay the price. You didn't cross my parents more than once. When we were out in public, all it took was a stern look from dad, that's all we needed. My parents were consistent, you didn't dare play one against the other. Their 7 children all grew up disciplined and successful thanks to their life lessons and work ethics. They prepared us for life, accept responsibility and accountability. No lame excuses.
The girl is 17 almost , adult age , for people who didn't have stubborn teenagers you all need to chill out. She chose to disobey her father's concerns about her going out on the roof and made empty promises to stop doing it , but still didn't heed the warning. Our children will never learn to respect their parents and listen of there is not some risk. The girl never gotten hurt and she knows she was'nt able to get back in from the roof, why did she put herself in that predicament in the first place knowing her father is out doing errands or shopping for the home . The daughter is at fault and she needs to realize she needs to own up for her mistakes and stop babying our children when they need to learn how to take care of themselves and get out of tough and stuck situations without calling for help. It is not the Father's fault . So everyone better think twice when your child decides to put themselves in harm's way, then you parents get blamed for not raising your child right .
I’m 38(F) and as a teen and then stuff my parents told me not to do. My mom swore by the whole the best life lessons are learned by doing it yourself. There were times that I got myself in situations that my parents are told me not to do or had warned me about and being in those situations taught me the lesson of it don’t do it again. At the same time certain situations I had to call my dad and ask him to come get me or come help me and he was always right there. Just being put in the situation scared me enough to not do it again but my dad being right there also gave me the security of knowing I had somebody to count on if I ever needed the help. You really have to weigh each situation as it comes but sometimes put the life lesson aside and let Her now she can count on her dad no matter what. My dad passed five years ago and I still feel like I can count on him because he was always there for me.
😂😂😂😂🤣😂 I am sorry, but this funny to me as well! When I was still in year 1 of school, my school had a 2 hour late start because of the snow. My brother and sister are both older than me and went to the same school with me decided to stay home. While my was at work but they seemed to think it was fair to send me to school. I had a different idea, I did not think it was very fair or right. So I skipped school until I heard the bell ringing from the school which was close to our house. I was dressed very warm for the weather and did what huskies do. I dug myself a little warm place in the snow and waited there 😅 I was thinking I would teach them a lesson for trying to get me to go to school while they stayed home. My sister who sounded like our mom called the school to see if I had gotten there safely. Boy was I embarrassed when I got home and my brother and sister asked me how school was. But seriously I was pissed off that they got to stay home and I didn't.
I'm sorry: Had anyone else had to check if it wasn't '17 MONTH OLD'? Hell, quite pretty sure it was uncomfortable for her, but you're DEFINITELY NOT THE AHOLE!!!
I am from colorado and we see similar temps; rarely do we ever match canada's cold as a whole. So i understand buting temps without even a third layer and being mad. However it was 15°f, had two laters on and is 17 and should know better. You're not the a*****e; just a good parent and a great teacher. Im m24 with no kids however i do have some sence from watching my parents with my siblings as i wanted to learn by watching.
YTA, petty af. You are supposed to be the grown-up. Being inconvenienced is part of that.
How would that encourage her to obey her father? That sounds like bad parenting to me.
Load More Replies... I still can't wrap my head around the fact that the window is 4ft, the daughter is 5 ft and still she can't get back in without any help? I can understand a lot of people can't pull their weight if the object is 1ft taller. But 1ft shorter???
You were a parent at 17 yourself so I wouldn't call you TAH because that can be tough and it sounds like you've really stepped up. But you really need to think about what could have happened because even though you're used to those temperatures, something can always go wrong. As a nurse my first thoughts were was she wearing gloves, a hat and boots with heavy socks and just how heavy were those coats? What was the wind chill factor? Was the sun out, was it snowing or anything? These can all be factors that can lead to hypothermia. I'm your neighbor from just south of the border and lived in northern Michigan so I'm used to the cold but even though I grew up in it, I'm intolerant to the cold, so I would have been in trouble. Just something to think about if anything like this ever comes up again, but I think you both may be a little bit wiser. Maybe she could get a step stool for on the roof to help her get back in. Even teenagers still get scared sometimes even though they know it all.
I would think that the father considered all of that when he told his team multiple times not to go out on the roof alone! Why are you assuming he didn't?
Load More Replies... Grew up NW Chicago. Winter temps were brutal. We five kids would be sent outside to walk off our temper tantrum behaviors. When it's low teens outside we lasted about one hour before apologizing and begging to be let back in. Never got hit! This is a genius parenting tool. No bad language needed. Nothing physical. It made us own up to our own behavior.
And to learned helplessness when it teaches you to shut up or else....
Load More Replies... That is abuse, sounds like manipulation to justify it. Stop pretending like this is a normal lesson, there are better ways to communicate with your children. Lots of people who live in cold climates still aren't okay to be in the cold like that. I know i grew up in mountain towns. That's child endangerment and i bet that kid moves away and stops talking to a parent who doesn't respect their own child. Respect goes both ways parents can't use manipulation techniques and think they're kid is going to learn a lesson. The only lesson learned there is not to trust their parent.
I'd say the lesson she learned is not to call you when she needs help or is frightened...so- Good job!
It’s was 66 degrees Fahrenheit! That’s not cold! 18 degrees centigrade translates to spring time warm weather of 66
What? It was -8 Celsius and 18 fariegnheit! Where are you getting that from?
Load More Replies... Normally, in these aita situations, nobody is really innocent and both parties are in the wrong in some way, but here I totes think he was waaayy out of pocket! You punish your teenager by taking away their electronics, or their freedom on the weekend. Not by leaving them outside in freezing temperatures, when they don't even know how long they will be in that situation!! You absolutely DO NOT leave your child in ANY situation where their health could be jeopardized in any possible way!
Let's see he got a girl pregnant at 17, whom he suggests he didn't love enough to marry, pretty big No NO, but his daughter just got stuck on a roof at 17...hmmm...the offspring of the man who did not listen to everyone older and wiser who tell teens hundreds of times Don't have sex if you aren't ready for a family, marriage and responsibility, don't have unprotected sex, etc.... He's definitely an enormous hypocrite for holding her to a higher standard than his 17 year old self and should be thanking God he only has to worry about her disobeying about the roof and isnt having a baby right now like her parents at her age. Smh. Yep, all around A if you ask me, who needs some perspective. Sometimes it is not the little details like the number of coats or distance from home, but instead is BIG THEMES and patterns and to step back to see the real story and BIG pictures in life. He, of all people.should be more empathetic and less judgemental/hard headed with His" I told You so's."
He got a girl pregnant at 17 and it probably f****d his life for a while. He would be the guy to listen to about doing dumb s**t as a kid, he did it and it blew up in his face. He knows. It's not hypocritical, he's trying to protect his kid from following in his less than stellar footprints.
Load More Replies... No one is pointing out that he was 40 minutes away from home and took 2 hours to get home. He never once stated whether he asked if she did or didn't have safe clothes on for the weather. What if she had been out there for that 2 hours without safe clothing on? Especially with the completely real covid going around I doubt her being in danger weathers in would help her stay healthy. And so what if she lives in Canada? She's still human with a complex body make-up. She can still be harmed by weather's she's used to. Ignorance is bliss isn't it
Yes he was a 40 minute drive away but he was taking care of stuff that he was unable to during the week. So he finished up what he was doing, most likely skipping some things that were not necessary, and came home. It wasn't like she was 7 years old, she's 17 and it wasn't really cold out. Yes he never stated whether or not he asked about how she was dressed, that doesn't mean that he didn't. But even if he had mentioned that he checked y'all would be upset that he didn't immediately rush home because his daughter was experiencing minor discomfort because she did something that she wasn't supposed to do. My only concern is why she can't hoist herself through a 4ft window when she is 5ft tall.
Load More Replies... Or..instead of waiting for the inevitable , the dad could have been proactive and installed a rope ladder or something so that if she got stuck outside shed have a means to get back in. Just sayin 🤷♀️
YTA and don’t be surprised when her time at your place dwindles. When you set out to teach your kid a lesson like this, the only lesson you teach them is that you are a jerk. They learn that one really well.
Sure, making your point is a priority Dad. That is until someone gets maimed or killed. Then, not so funny is it? You could have been in an accident or killed on your way home...what if the weather changed, your daughter had a medical incident etc...an NO ONE, especially YOU, her Dad came to help her? What lesson did you teach her this time around? Your Daughter CANNOT COUNT ON YOU, when she needs help....with anything. Yep. You sure taught her a lesson. She is an inconvenience and won't get help when she needs it. This time grocery shopping was a helluva lot more important. What a great message for a kid from her father. YTA.
SHE HAD A PHONE!!!!! If he had taken longer, she could have called many people to help; her mother didn't find it necessary to come. She could have called 911 for immediate assistance if she felt in danger.
Load More Replies... Going to echo the YTA because this is setting her up to drive home drunk instead of calling her dad to pick her up if she winds up drinking at a party he told her not to go to. He should have told her his honest time estimate, wrapped up quickly, and come home-- or talked her through to a different solution, like calling a friend to help. He could give her a different punishment later, like docked allowance or something. OP said he's been there for her unfailingly, but trust takes years to build and only seconds to break. Another important point that was made: he'll only save her if he agrees with her life choices. Finally, that temperature is hypothermia territory. Especially if you're not physically active, properly protected, etc. It's excusable if he checked that she was properly dressed to withstand an entire two hours (rather than at 15 minute trip to the roof) first; otherwise, it's criminal.
She was wearing her winter coat. If people stayed indoors at *that* temperature in Saskatchewan, they'd never ever leave the house. We usually get temperatures far colder than that, so with a winter coat on she was in no danger of freezing.
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