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Dad Has To Change Son’s Diaper In The Ladies’ Room And Gets Yelled At, Asks If He’s The Jerk
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Dad Has To Change Son’s Diaper In The Ladies’ Room And Gets Yelled At, Asks If He’s The Jerk

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Few parenting stereotypes are as established as the father who can’t change his baby’s diaper. In fact, it has penetrated society so deeply that many don’t think men are even capable of pulling this off. But contrary to popular belief, babies poop no matter who is watching them.

Recently, when Reddit user RocksAndHardPlaces1 brought his son to a store, the little guy did his dirty business, so the dad went to the men’s restroom to take care of it, however, he found no facilities that would have allowed him to do so.

The man then learned from the staff that the women’s restroom had a changing table. It was either that or the floor, so the decision was a no-brainer.

Only, some female shoppers weren’t happy to see him there.

This dad had to go to the lady restroom to change his son’s diaper

Image credits: Helena Lopes (not the actual photo)

And he got into a very heated argument with a woman there




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Image credits: @babychangenola (not the actual photo)


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This story is an excellent reminder that fatherhood in America is changing.

Dads who live with their children are taking a more active role in caring for them and helping around the house, and the number of single fathers has grown significantly in recent decades too.

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According to the Pew Research Center, the percentage of men who are stay-at-home dads rose from 4% in 1989 to 7% in 2016. As a result, dads made up 17% of all stay-at-home parents in 2016, up from 10% in 1989.

Among millennials (those aged 20 to 35 in 2016), 6% of dads were at home with their kids. For comparison, just 3% of Gen X dads were at home with their kids when they were the same age.

After the story blew up, the man provided more information in the comment section





Moreover, dads are just as likely as moms to say that parenting is extremely important to their identity—some 57% of fathers believed this to be true in 2015, compared with 58% of mothers.

Like moms, many dads also seem to appreciate the benefits of parenthood: 54% reported that raising a child is rewarding all of the time, as did 52% of moms. Meanwhile, 46% of fathers and 41% of mothers said they find parenting enjoyable all of the time.

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Furthermore, a sizable minority of childless men (44% of those 18 to 49) hope to become fathers at some point in their lives (and another 35% are still unsure if they want to become parents).

Dads are stepping up for their kids and we should respect that. Not yell at them if they break some trivial customs along the way.

People thought he had every right to take care of his child






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annemariekefransengeleijns avatar
Anne Marieke Fransen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is nobody questioning the screaming lady? I mean, did she took of her pants before entering the restroom? Was she naked? Was he naked? What's the difference between a lady changing diapers or a men changing diapers? Why did she started screaming in stead of assessing the situation? Is she socially r******d? Is this America?

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Surprising enough, it's actually mostly ladies that complain about other ladies breastfeeding their babies in public. This is from working at a restaurant back in school.

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laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was the "Wrong stall buddy" woman, I would have made a different choice here. Shop is ill equipped, guy is a parent with a baby. Ask him does he want me to perhaps stand by the door and let oncoming women know there's a dad changing a baby in there? It's about showing support person to person when it's a discriminatory or unfair/biased situation. Unisex toilets or changing tables in both: we aren't in the 1950s any more.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what was going through my mind. Doubt it crossed her mind, but it would have been super helpful.

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zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it with that obession with bathrooms in the US?? I doubt that story would have happened that way in Germany

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gov't here has been infiltrated w/ religious whack jobs, frightened racists, & an assortment of untreated nationalist mental cases who can't miss an opportunity to b***h & feel victimised when somebody else needs help. I'm SURE this wouldn't have happened in the EU

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glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't feel threatened if a man was changing a baby in the woman's washroom. I would completely understand and know it's wrong and so sexist that men's washrooms are still not equipped with change tables for fathers, or just not having family washrooms. At least it's starting to become the norm. But some places are holding on to out of date idealisms and refusing to update their facilities to make it fair for everyone.

fallfun12 avatar
Fall F.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I rather think, is just because the money. Very often in men' restrooms is not enough space for a changing table, so they shouldn't just install one, but have to remodel the place itself wholly or partly.

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mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have a baby but even I know that lots of places only have changing tables in the ladies' bathrooms. I don't think I'd give a moment's thought of a man changing a baby in there. And IF for some reason I'd feel uncomfortable, I'd just turn around and wait outside until he's done, no big deal. But likely I'd just go and do what I came to do, women's bathrooms don't have urinals, you'll go into a stall with a door, so who cares if the stranger listening to you pee is a men or a woman? As for the establishment, if for some reason it's not feasible to add a changing table to the men's room, you could also just separate the front area with the changing table and the sinks with a wall and door from the stalls. Then women have their privacy, guys can still change babies. Slap a sign outside that says women/changing table, job done.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BTW, even IF there's a changing table in the men's, men with daughters will still face a dilemma later: when their toddler girl needs to pee but is not old enough to go alone. Moms just go with them into a stall in the ladies'. But daddies? If they go into the men's, they will potentially have to walk their baby girl past a bunch of guys with their d*** out at the urinals. Or they can go into the ladies' since the one actually needing the facilities IS a lady and potentially get shouted at.

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m_sabbe avatar
M. Sabbe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta i'm a guy with a kid if there isnt another option i use the womans restroom what are they gonna do while holding a kid

nina_caggiano_35 avatar
Rattle Battlesnake
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yet another reason why we need unisex bathrooms, it would solve soooo many issues.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or have a separate family-friendly changing room that also contains equipment that can help parents with older, disabled children.

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shelsea-beaulieu avatar
Sathe Wesker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into the mens room when the woman’s was either locked for cleaning or, yeah, the line was too damn long and I was about to p**s myself. Every time, the men didn’t give a damn and no, not one tried to “do anything” to me. I would of told this man he was damn well in his right to change his baby’s diaper. Not to mention, so many other countries have unisex bathrooms and I think it needs to be implemented more in the west.

guineveremariesmith avatar
Gwyn
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a woman, three kids...there are plenty of places where even the women's room has no changing table. I've changed my baby on the bathroom floor (using a long pad I kept for that purpose because it happened a lot)! Places should be required BY LAW to have a changing table in ALL BATHROOMS.

jennymichelle avatar
Jenny Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mom said that ? Wow ..what would she rather you do ..change your son in the middle of the store ..you're not in the wrong, if the woman was that bothered why didn't she just wait outside until you were done ?

jaysonhammer avatar
TrickQuestion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read about something a while back that addresses this issue! It's the "Love the Change" program that puts changing tables in men's rooms. https://cincinnatiparksfoundation.org/new-changing-tables-to-parks-mens-bathrooms/

rgroper avatar
Robin Roper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About 6-7 years ago when my state (I live in the US) was getting ready to pass a "bathroom bill" that would have forced men who identified as women to use the men's room, and a woman who identified as a man to use the women's room. I'm a cis-woman and was shopping at a department store not too far from my home when nature called. I knew there were two restrooms, one women's and one men's both one-seaters, in the lingerie department and due to it's proximity to the lingerie, few men ever use that restroom. I walk to the area where the restrooms are located and there's a lady waiting for the women's room. I looked over and saw where the men's was available as evident by the green indicator which shows when the door is unlocked. I pointed to the door and said, "That's available." She looked at me as if I had committed a crime and responded, "That's the men's room." My response, "They don't store them in there. So, you're not going to use it?" She said no, so I did. People are nuts.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, that’s SO unfair! If I heard a Karen yell at a dad for using a changing table in the women’s loo, I probably would’ve told her to be reasonable. After all, does she expect you to do it on the restaurant table or a dirty toilet in the men’s room? No way! If the women’s restroom was out of order & she had a bathroom emergency (eg: her period), she’d be the first to run to the men’s room. Considering that, how can she judge?? As for those who say “Well, why not just take the baby home?”, please consider … their home may be more than an hour’s drive & all that time, that poor baby would be sat in his own poo. How comfortable would YOU be? It’s not fair to ask the dad to do that to his baby when there’s a changing table handy. As for saying “Let a woman do it”, that’s not okay, as you don’t just hand your baby to a total stranger (& what if the child had behavioural issues & only trusts his family?). No; as a dad, he had EVERY right to use that changing table, as much as any mother! 😕🤷‍♀️

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next ask a staff member to either stand guard and warn women as they enter, or put up a 'closed for cleaning' sign. As you enter the restroom, yell out "Man coming in to change a baby." To alert women that A) a man is coming in, and B) that he is not sneeking in to be a creeper. Once the baby is changed, ask to speak to management, and ask for a changing table to be added to the mens restroom. Public bathrooms are high-risk locations. They are out of sight, contain lockable hiding places, and there is no CCTV. They are also places of vulnerability. There is a social contract that we will respect the privacy of other users, and a man coming in to the womens room violates that social contract. The guy is not an AH, but the women aren't necessary TAH either - though the second one was clearly overreacting. The a*****e is the business that isn't providing a family/shared bathroom, or equiping the mens for fathers.

adinaisme avatar
AndThenICommented
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner had to do this when our kid was a baby. He was always nervous about the parents room as well as there were a string of incidents in the news where women were going nuts that men were changing their babies because ‘but women could be breast feeding there!’ (This was NZ) those ladies were shut down by the majority pretty quickly, but it still makes it very awkward for fathers to wonder if they’re going to be harassed just for taking care of their own child

milda27oye avatar
Momogi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That lady shouldn't exaggerate the situation by screaming like a banshee.. Didn't she see that he's with the baby? Sometime trying to understand the situation before throwing a big fit is helpful.

alexs_1 avatar
Alex S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His mother thinks he should ask a total stranger to change his kid for him? And leave his kid with this stranger ALONE? WTF is wrong with the mother? And the assumption that all women know how to change a diaper and would be willing to do so it's unbelievable! I chose not to have kids so I don't have to do that stuff, a strange man handing me his s**t smeared child in a public bathroom with the expectation I'll change it is going to get screamed at.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They expected him to just hand his baby off to some random woman!? What's her diaper changing qualifications besides having ovaries? For one thing not all women know how to change diapers, secondly it's not their duty to change the diapers of random babies, thirdly how is handing one's kid over to a random person even an option?

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mom is very ignorant.. sorry but it's true. She wanted you to hand your infant child over to a complete stranger to handle this? That's HORRIBLE parenting. You did the right thing and I have feeling the screaming lady and your mother would make fast friends.

phillybobsquires avatar
Philly Bob Squires
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In like 100% of the ladies rooms I've been in... women have stalls to use. Men have stalls but the urinals aren't in any. Women can walk in and use the stalls in the men's room with guys openly at the urinals and guys are like "hey girl, ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" but a guy walking into a ladies room to change his baby's diaper? All hell breaks loose. Lady should have seen what was up, turned around and waited or, just walked into a stall. Or was she one of those who like to start s**t just because she can? 1000 Upvotes to our ladies who understand that Dad's do change diapers. (and a lot of other things for their kids and families too!) I raised 6 kids. Hell, I'd even go to the store and buy feminine products for my daughters.

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never understood the big deal about what gender is in the bathroom with you anyways. Outside of the stalls, people aren't walking around naked. They literally wash their hands and leave. I know it's different with urinals, but if all you have is stalls, what does it matter? Also, I don't even have kids, but I'm not handing mine over for a stranger to change while I wait outside, just because some little sign on the door says women only.

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody is going to comment on what the mother said? How he should hand his baby over to a stranger to have them change the diaper? Op mentioned he thought it sounded entitled, but that part wasn't even in my radar. No one should ever have to be forced to hand their child over to a stranger in a department store. That's insane. I wouldn't even hand my dog over to a random stranger, much less a baby. The baby shouldn't have to leave his sight. I do almost wonder, though, if the attendant was calling him over just to help clear things up to the screaming woman. It's not clear to me that the attendant wouldn't have been on his side

bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually made it a habit to find the least convenient area of the store (to the store not me) to change my kids when there was only one changing table that was in the women's room. NTA

moxiemallahan avatar
Moxie Mallahan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why there needs to be baby changing stations in men's washrooms!

staceyrae avatar
Stacey Rae
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it would have been a good idea to have a staff member stand outside the door to give female customers the heads up. This would also give a heads up to the store to install a baby station in the men's room.

alexs_1 avatar
Alex S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should staff members have to take time away from their actual jobs to play bathroom police because members of the public are too fragile to deal with a man changing a baby? One person was in the wrong here and it's entirely on them not to act like a goddamn moron

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nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1000% NTA. Poor guy! If I'd been the lady washing her hands, I'd've asked if he wanted me to stick around incase someone else came in. And if someone came in like the second lady, I'd've set her straight. FFS - It's 2022 - and places can't get it through their heads that dads change diapers, too?

juggalettekt1992 avatar
Kyndal T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe I'm crazy but I don't care who is in a bathroom when I have to go. I've had guys walk in and use the stalls before. It's not like they used the one I was in. I've even had pleasant hand washing convos with them. The stall is the bathroom. The rest is just a space with a sink in it. I've used the mens room before too when it's empty and with someone guarding the door (cuz urinals). I'm not sure who came up with the idea that bathrooms are sexual spaces but it's ridiculous. There was a trans person who came into my work all the time and the first time, they asked me which bathroom they could use. So I just said pick whichever you prefer and there were never any issues. I've never seen an employee in charge of examining private parts either.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They aren't sexual places, they are private places. You're in a vulnerable position while doing your business. It makes sense to at least have you only share those moments with same sex strangers. Plus there's a safety aspect, and while violence between women or violence on men from women is not at all unheard of, it's still more common for men to have sketchy ideas about women. However, it's 2022. For starters, not everyone is a man or a woman, and not everyone you'd assume is one will identify as one. And babies need to be cleaned up as fast as possible if they are sitting in their own poop. So we could just act as adults.

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robert-thornburrow avatar
Robert T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ladies that needed to be warned were those already in there. Not that I'm familiar with the ladies lavs, but I assume each cubicle has a door, so there should be no issue there (though from what I have seen on BP, in America, there might as well not be a door as the gaps above, below and either side offer no privacy). Once warned, anyone coming in will see him and can either wait a couple of minutes, or do what is necessary to maintain privacy, or god forbid, actually ****ing help!

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gaps aren't really that bad. You can't actually see anything through them unless you're specifically putting your eye up to them like a pervy weirdo, and nobody does that except for very young, unattended children. Even that is extremely rare. I think it's happened to me about twice, and I could hear their mom immediately start to chew them out once they realized what was going on.

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joannhj64 avatar
Joan Haugaard Jensen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What... What are the women afraid of 🤔 I do not get this dilemma at all. Poor man just changing his Child. In our country it is also very normal to have toilets joined for men and women. This woman should get a warning not yelling at strangers especially when they have childten, or a baby with them.

rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago

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rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that the woman who entered was surprised to see a bloke in the ladies facilities but her reaction is way over the top IMO. I want to call out society for not helping dad's do fathering tasks. I am a dad and SAHP. I have been thwarted by a lack of facilities to help me care for my children. I've had to use the boot (trunk for those in the US) of our estate car to change my daughter's nappy on occasion. It sucks. My big girl is now 4 and can use the toilet semi-independently. She also knows the different between her body and that of a male. I can't (and she doesn't want to) take her in to the male toilets. Some places have a parent and child bathroom (praise God for their foresight) most don't. Some have accessible toilets that aren't RADAR key locked, that's a win. What do I do in all the other places...? This dad did the right thing, he used the baby change facilities to change a baby's nappy (diaper). This should be full stop, the end but for where they were located. (1/2)

rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(2/2) Come on world! It's C21. Dads do fathering, they change nappies, feed children, wait for they child to finish their "quick wee" (finished yet? Not yet...) Make child facilities accessible to parents regardless of gender. Remember Dads do fathering, parenting. Not "babysitting" or just giving Mummy some "time off"! I have lost count of the number of times I heard those. I won't start on the number of times I taken 5h!7 (usually from randoms) because "stupid Daddy has done it wrong but Mummy will sort you out when you get home..." wtaf! Makes my blood boil. Rant over. And breathe.

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sherrywhite avatar
Sherry White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You are obviously a good dad who doesn't want his baby in a dirty diaper.

nikkoj1975 avatar
Nick Jeffery
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually don't think the screaming lady was necessarily an a-hole... Yes, it may have been a bit of an overreaction, but we don't know her story... she could have been an assault victim, or anything, and just felt unsafe with a man in the "female" space... the real issue is the discrimination by the store.

jessejbmccann avatar
Chznryce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I support this 95%. 5% is reserved for the fact that I would have confronted everyone - respectfully - and strongly advised the store manager to install changing tables in the Men's room. The sarcasm in me would have also mentioned that another option would be to change the diaper outside of the restroom if it was really that big of a deal.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I loved it when they only had changing tables in the ladies' bathrooms. My chance to show we're not in the 1900's anymore and that dads are now hands on dads. Never had a problem, though.

amberfreeman_1 avatar
Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA,the woman who was washing her hands understood and the woman screaming didn't even ask,honestly tf she wanted him to do,she acted as if he was naked or she was

mrs_schaarschmidt avatar
Jo Schaarschmidt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, OP's mother thought it was a better idea to hand the baby to an absolute stranger, ask her to change the diaper, and let her walk into another room with the child? Is she insane? OP was one hundred percent correct in what he did, the screaming lady needs to get a hold of herself, and OPs mother has scary bad judgement.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely illegal in California to not have changing tables in men's rooms. Some weird places put them in the wider stall made for wheelchair accessibility so they can be hidden.

bix1 avatar
Nancy Bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The screaming woman was the idiot; however it is the store's fault. Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them that you can't shop there if you can't take care of your son. Up the manager tree or their website.

bix1 avatar
Nancy Bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The screaming woman was the idiot; however it is the store's fault. Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them that you can't shop there if you can't take care of your son. Up the manager tree or their website.

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I (male) was at the doctors office the other day and had to use the bathroom. Unfortunately the bathrooms are single occupancy and it was occupied...so I waited. I didn't have to wait long and when the person finished and came out it was a woman. I didn't say anything to her but I stewed for far too long afterwards because I know, without a doubt, that if it had been reversed and I had gone into the women's bathroom because I just couldn't wait I'd have been read the riot act.

chrismenaster avatar
Chris M
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

jelwell avatar
Mavis Cruet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to find the story because according to BP every one agrees with what he did.

karen_mattock avatar
Karen Violette Cubbison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA TA was the staffer that just left him at the bathrooms. I question if the woman who was screaming had been a victim of abuse. If so, her response makes sense (although if she had stopped a second to take in a man, a baby and a poopy smell, she might have been okay). If she hadn't, she is also TA. This dad gets an A+ for taking care of his baby when #1. the rules weren't clear and #2 . his baby's needs came before his comfort.

allyfsgooch avatar
Ally R
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. If anything, it's highlighted the shops backwards thinking in only having a changing table in a female loo. Personally, I don't see why there are separate toilets/bathrooms anyway. I've used many a unisex loo and have never felt threatened.

familiedito64 avatar
Fembot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or, you know, make restrooms welcoming for all people and add plenty of changing tables. (And urinals and toilets behind properly closing doors.)

louise_cameron79 avatar
Lou Cam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I live in the UK the situation with the man in a women's toilets with their kid is fairly common and most people don't object (or are too polite to say anything). That said, in the UK we have full sized doors on our cubicles so you are not at risk of being seen changing a tampon for instance by the person at the changing table. I wouldn't like a man in the changing area in the US toilet for this reason but my reaction would have just been to wait outside until he was done and not scream or complain.

curriejg avatar
James G. Currie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Legally*, using the incorrect gendered washroom for *any* reason is illegal, and can see Civil and Criminal sanctions levied. -- Ethically or Morally, you have to do what has to be done for the situation. -- As for asking someone else to change one's own kid's diapers... Rude much? I would not trust the staffer or unknown woman not to start claiming the kid is hers. (Yeah, I have some trust / paranoia issues about somethings.)

janice_parks_100 avatar
Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG why is it so hard to put up a ding dang changing table in the men’s bathroom??? Also, guess what? A lot of women’s bathrooms don’t have changing tables either. So for a couple hundred years (during the age of the diaper) what have people done?! They thought ahead and brought a travel changing pad and put it on the floor! Sometimes the baby minder heads to the store’s changing room. Sometimes they just head to an out-of-the-way aisle and sit on the floor… or find an empty low wide shelf… or just run out to the car! This is not hard! There’s no reason for dad to use the women’s restroom.

paulrichards_1 avatar
Paul Richards
Community Member
1 year ago

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Guys can't catch a break anymore. Women are nags and being a responsible father is gonna get you yelled at by a karen

tamrastiffler avatar
Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Women are nags"?? Do you not see all the women commenting here in support of this man? Or is your sexism making you blind?

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jennyv avatar
Bored Broad
Community Member
1 year ago

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You poor guy, just trying to care for your Bub. With all the 'woke' gender fluid ideology out there and insistence that biological women share their toilets and maternity wards with 'women' with beards, WHAT THE HELL was wrong with this?? Sickening double standards

rchargel avatar
RafCo (he/him)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If be willing to bet that the screaming lady wasn't a "woke social justice warrior". If anything, she was a conservative snowflake who didn't get her trigger warning "beware, men also change diapers, you may be forced to see a loving father when entering this room"

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annemariekefransengeleijns avatar
Anne Marieke Fransen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is nobody questioning the screaming lady? I mean, did she took of her pants before entering the restroom? Was she naked? Was he naked? What's the difference between a lady changing diapers or a men changing diapers? Why did she started screaming in stead of assessing the situation? Is she socially r******d? Is this America?

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Surprising enough, it's actually mostly ladies that complain about other ladies breastfeeding their babies in public. This is from working at a restaurant back in school.

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laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was the "Wrong stall buddy" woman, I would have made a different choice here. Shop is ill equipped, guy is a parent with a baby. Ask him does he want me to perhaps stand by the door and let oncoming women know there's a dad changing a baby in there? It's about showing support person to person when it's a discriminatory or unfair/biased situation. Unisex toilets or changing tables in both: we aren't in the 1950s any more.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what was going through my mind. Doubt it crossed her mind, but it would have been super helpful.

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zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is it with that obession with bathrooms in the US?? I doubt that story would have happened that way in Germany

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gov't here has been infiltrated w/ religious whack jobs, frightened racists, & an assortment of untreated nationalist mental cases who can't miss an opportunity to b***h & feel victimised when somebody else needs help. I'm SURE this wouldn't have happened in the EU

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glowingsun2002 avatar
BadCat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't feel threatened if a man was changing a baby in the woman's washroom. I would completely understand and know it's wrong and so sexist that men's washrooms are still not equipped with change tables for fathers, or just not having family washrooms. At least it's starting to become the norm. But some places are holding on to out of date idealisms and refusing to update their facilities to make it fair for everyone.

fallfun12 avatar
Fall F.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I rather think, is just because the money. Very often in men' restrooms is not enough space for a changing table, so they shouldn't just install one, but have to remodel the place itself wholly or partly.

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Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have a baby but even I know that lots of places only have changing tables in the ladies' bathrooms. I don't think I'd give a moment's thought of a man changing a baby in there. And IF for some reason I'd feel uncomfortable, I'd just turn around and wait outside until he's done, no big deal. But likely I'd just go and do what I came to do, women's bathrooms don't have urinals, you'll go into a stall with a door, so who cares if the stranger listening to you pee is a men or a woman? As for the establishment, if for some reason it's not feasible to add a changing table to the men's room, you could also just separate the front area with the changing table and the sinks with a wall and door from the stalls. Then women have their privacy, guys can still change babies. Slap a sign outside that says women/changing table, job done.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BTW, even IF there's a changing table in the men's, men with daughters will still face a dilemma later: when their toddler girl needs to pee but is not old enough to go alone. Moms just go with them into a stall in the ladies'. But daddies? If they go into the men's, they will potentially have to walk their baby girl past a bunch of guys with their d*** out at the urinals. Or they can go into the ladies' since the one actually needing the facilities IS a lady and potentially get shouted at.

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m_sabbe avatar
M. Sabbe
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nta i'm a guy with a kid if there isnt another option i use the womans restroom what are they gonna do while holding a kid

nina_caggiano_35 avatar
Rattle Battlesnake
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yet another reason why we need unisex bathrooms, it would solve soooo many issues.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or have a separate family-friendly changing room that also contains equipment that can help parents with older, disabled children.

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Sathe Wesker
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into the mens room when the woman’s was either locked for cleaning or, yeah, the line was too damn long and I was about to p**s myself. Every time, the men didn’t give a damn and no, not one tried to “do anything” to me. I would of told this man he was damn well in his right to change his baby’s diaper. Not to mention, so many other countries have unisex bathrooms and I think it needs to be implemented more in the west.

guineveremariesmith avatar
Gwyn
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a woman, three kids...there are plenty of places where even the women's room has no changing table. I've changed my baby on the bathroom floor (using a long pad I kept for that purpose because it happened a lot)! Places should be required BY LAW to have a changing table in ALL BATHROOMS.

jennymichelle avatar
Jenny Michelle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mom said that ? Wow ..what would she rather you do ..change your son in the middle of the store ..you're not in the wrong, if the woman was that bothered why didn't she just wait outside until you were done ?

jaysonhammer avatar
TrickQuestion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read about something a while back that addresses this issue! It's the "Love the Change" program that puts changing tables in men's rooms. https://cincinnatiparksfoundation.org/new-changing-tables-to-parks-mens-bathrooms/

rgroper avatar
Robin Roper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About 6-7 years ago when my state (I live in the US) was getting ready to pass a "bathroom bill" that would have forced men who identified as women to use the men's room, and a woman who identified as a man to use the women's room. I'm a cis-woman and was shopping at a department store not too far from my home when nature called. I knew there were two restrooms, one women's and one men's both one-seaters, in the lingerie department and due to it's proximity to the lingerie, few men ever use that restroom. I walk to the area where the restrooms are located and there's a lady waiting for the women's room. I looked over and saw where the men's was available as evident by the green indicator which shows when the door is unlocked. I pointed to the door and said, "That's available." She looked at me as if I had committed a crime and responded, "That's the men's room." My response, "They don't store them in there. So, you're not going to use it?" She said no, so I did. People are nuts.

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, that’s SO unfair! If I heard a Karen yell at a dad for using a changing table in the women’s loo, I probably would’ve told her to be reasonable. After all, does she expect you to do it on the restaurant table or a dirty toilet in the men’s room? No way! If the women’s restroom was out of order & she had a bathroom emergency (eg: her period), she’d be the first to run to the men’s room. Considering that, how can she judge?? As for those who say “Well, why not just take the baby home?”, please consider … their home may be more than an hour’s drive & all that time, that poor baby would be sat in his own poo. How comfortable would YOU be? It’s not fair to ask the dad to do that to his baby when there’s a changing table handy. As for saying “Let a woman do it”, that’s not okay, as you don’t just hand your baby to a total stranger (& what if the child had behavioural issues & only trusts his family?). No; as a dad, he had EVERY right to use that changing table, as much as any mother! 😕🤷‍♀️

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next ask a staff member to either stand guard and warn women as they enter, or put up a 'closed for cleaning' sign. As you enter the restroom, yell out "Man coming in to change a baby." To alert women that A) a man is coming in, and B) that he is not sneeking in to be a creeper. Once the baby is changed, ask to speak to management, and ask for a changing table to be added to the mens restroom. Public bathrooms are high-risk locations. They are out of sight, contain lockable hiding places, and there is no CCTV. They are also places of vulnerability. There is a social contract that we will respect the privacy of other users, and a man coming in to the womens room violates that social contract. The guy is not an AH, but the women aren't necessary TAH either - though the second one was clearly overreacting. The a*****e is the business that isn't providing a family/shared bathroom, or equiping the mens for fathers.

adinaisme avatar
AndThenICommented
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner had to do this when our kid was a baby. He was always nervous about the parents room as well as there were a string of incidents in the news where women were going nuts that men were changing their babies because ‘but women could be breast feeding there!’ (This was NZ) those ladies were shut down by the majority pretty quickly, but it still makes it very awkward for fathers to wonder if they’re going to be harassed just for taking care of their own child

milda27oye avatar
Momogi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That lady shouldn't exaggerate the situation by screaming like a banshee.. Didn't she see that he's with the baby? Sometime trying to understand the situation before throwing a big fit is helpful.

alexs_1 avatar
Alex S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His mother thinks he should ask a total stranger to change his kid for him? And leave his kid with this stranger ALONE? WTF is wrong with the mother? And the assumption that all women know how to change a diaper and would be willing to do so it's unbelievable! I chose not to have kids so I don't have to do that stuff, a strange man handing me his s**t smeared child in a public bathroom with the expectation I'll change it is going to get screamed at.

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They expected him to just hand his baby off to some random woman!? What's her diaper changing qualifications besides having ovaries? For one thing not all women know how to change diapers, secondly it's not their duty to change the diapers of random babies, thirdly how is handing one's kid over to a random person even an option?

savannahyoung avatar
S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your mom is very ignorant.. sorry but it's true. She wanted you to hand your infant child over to a complete stranger to handle this? That's HORRIBLE parenting. You did the right thing and I have feeling the screaming lady and your mother would make fast friends.

phillybobsquires avatar
Philly Bob Squires
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In like 100% of the ladies rooms I've been in... women have stalls to use. Men have stalls but the urinals aren't in any. Women can walk in and use the stalls in the men's room with guys openly at the urinals and guys are like "hey girl, ya gotta go, ya gotta go!" but a guy walking into a ladies room to change his baby's diaper? All hell breaks loose. Lady should have seen what was up, turned around and waited or, just walked into a stall. Or was she one of those who like to start s**t just because she can? 1000 Upvotes to our ladies who understand that Dad's do change diapers. (and a lot of other things for their kids and families too!) I raised 6 kids. Hell, I'd even go to the store and buy feminine products for my daughters.

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never understood the big deal about what gender is in the bathroom with you anyways. Outside of the stalls, people aren't walking around naked. They literally wash their hands and leave. I know it's different with urinals, but if all you have is stalls, what does it matter? Also, I don't even have kids, but I'm not handing mine over for a stranger to change while I wait outside, just because some little sign on the door says women only.

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody is going to comment on what the mother said? How he should hand his baby over to a stranger to have them change the diaper? Op mentioned he thought it sounded entitled, but that part wasn't even in my radar. No one should ever have to be forced to hand their child over to a stranger in a department store. That's insane. I wouldn't even hand my dog over to a random stranger, much less a baby. The baby shouldn't have to leave his sight. I do almost wonder, though, if the attendant was calling him over just to help clear things up to the screaming woman. It's not clear to me that the attendant wouldn't have been on his side

bobbygoodson avatar
Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually made it a habit to find the least convenient area of the store (to the store not me) to change my kids when there was only one changing table that was in the women's room. NTA

moxiemallahan avatar
Moxie Mallahan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why there needs to be baby changing stations in men's washrooms!

staceyrae avatar
Stacey Rae
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it would have been a good idea to have a staff member stand outside the door to give female customers the heads up. This would also give a heads up to the store to install a baby station in the men's room.

alexs_1 avatar
Alex S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why should staff members have to take time away from their actual jobs to play bathroom police because members of the public are too fragile to deal with a man changing a baby? One person was in the wrong here and it's entirely on them not to act like a goddamn moron

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nizumi avatar
Nizumi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1000% NTA. Poor guy! If I'd been the lady washing her hands, I'd've asked if he wanted me to stick around incase someone else came in. And if someone came in like the second lady, I'd've set her straight. FFS - It's 2022 - and places can't get it through their heads that dads change diapers, too?

juggalettekt1992 avatar
Kyndal T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe I'm crazy but I don't care who is in a bathroom when I have to go. I've had guys walk in and use the stalls before. It's not like they used the one I was in. I've even had pleasant hand washing convos with them. The stall is the bathroom. The rest is just a space with a sink in it. I've used the mens room before too when it's empty and with someone guarding the door (cuz urinals). I'm not sure who came up with the idea that bathrooms are sexual spaces but it's ridiculous. There was a trans person who came into my work all the time and the first time, they asked me which bathroom they could use. So I just said pick whichever you prefer and there were never any issues. I've never seen an employee in charge of examining private parts either.

mailboxjudit avatar
Lousha
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They aren't sexual places, they are private places. You're in a vulnerable position while doing your business. It makes sense to at least have you only share those moments with same sex strangers. Plus there's a safety aspect, and while violence between women or violence on men from women is not at all unheard of, it's still more common for men to have sketchy ideas about women. However, it's 2022. For starters, not everyone is a man or a woman, and not everyone you'd assume is one will identify as one. And babies need to be cleaned up as fast as possible if they are sitting in their own poop. So we could just act as adults.

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Robert T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only ladies that needed to be warned were those already in there. Not that I'm familiar with the ladies lavs, but I assume each cubicle has a door, so there should be no issue there (though from what I have seen on BP, in America, there might as well not be a door as the gaps above, below and either side offer no privacy). Once warned, anyone coming in will see him and can either wait a couple of minutes, or do what is necessary to maintain privacy, or god forbid, actually ****ing help!

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The gaps aren't really that bad. You can't actually see anything through them unless you're specifically putting your eye up to them like a pervy weirdo, and nobody does that except for very young, unattended children. Even that is extremely rare. I think it's happened to me about twice, and I could hear their mom immediately start to chew them out once they realized what was going on.

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joannhj64 avatar
Joan Haugaard Jensen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What... What are the women afraid of 🤔 I do not get this dilemma at all. Poor man just changing his Child. In our country it is also very normal to have toilets joined for men and women. This woman should get a warning not yelling at strangers especially when they have childten, or a baby with them.

rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago

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Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago

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rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that the woman who entered was surprised to see a bloke in the ladies facilities but her reaction is way over the top IMO. I want to call out society for not helping dad's do fathering tasks. I am a dad and SAHP. I have been thwarted by a lack of facilities to help me care for my children. I've had to use the boot (trunk for those in the US) of our estate car to change my daughter's nappy on occasion. It sucks. My big girl is now 4 and can use the toilet semi-independently. She also knows the different between her body and that of a male. I can't (and she doesn't want to) take her in to the male toilets. Some places have a parent and child bathroom (praise God for their foresight) most don't. Some have accessible toilets that aren't RADAR key locked, that's a win. What do I do in all the other places...? This dad did the right thing, he used the baby change facilities to change a baby's nappy (diaper). This should be full stop, the end but for where they were located. (1/2)

rossperry avatar
Ross Perry
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

(2/2) Come on world! It's C21. Dads do fathering, they change nappies, feed children, wait for they child to finish their "quick wee" (finished yet? Not yet...) Make child facilities accessible to parents regardless of gender. Remember Dads do fathering, parenting. Not "babysitting" or just giving Mummy some "time off"! I have lost count of the number of times I heard those. I won't start on the number of times I taken 5h!7 (usually from randoms) because "stupid Daddy has done it wrong but Mummy will sort you out when you get home..." wtaf! Makes my blood boil. Rant over. And breathe.

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sherrywhite avatar
Sherry White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. You are obviously a good dad who doesn't want his baby in a dirty diaper.

nikkoj1975 avatar
Nick Jeffery
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually don't think the screaming lady was necessarily an a-hole... Yes, it may have been a bit of an overreaction, but we don't know her story... she could have been an assault victim, or anything, and just felt unsafe with a man in the "female" space... the real issue is the discrimination by the store.

jessejbmccann avatar
Chznryce
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I support this 95%. 5% is reserved for the fact that I would have confronted everyone - respectfully - and strongly advised the store manager to install changing tables in the Men's room. The sarcasm in me would have also mentioned that another option would be to change the diaper outside of the restroom if it was really that big of a deal.

boredpanda_99 avatar
SirWriteALot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I loved it when they only had changing tables in the ladies' bathrooms. My chance to show we're not in the 1900's anymore and that dads are now hands on dads. Never had a problem, though.

amberfreeman_1 avatar
Amber.exe (She/They)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA,the woman who was washing her hands understood and the woman screaming didn't even ask,honestly tf she wanted him to do,she acted as if he was naked or she was

mrs_schaarschmidt avatar
Jo Schaarschmidt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, OP's mother thought it was a better idea to hand the baby to an absolute stranger, ask her to change the diaper, and let her walk into another room with the child? Is she insane? OP was one hundred percent correct in what he did, the screaming lady needs to get a hold of herself, and OPs mother has scary bad judgement.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Completely illegal in California to not have changing tables in men's rooms. Some weird places put them in the wider stall made for wheelchair accessibility so they can be hidden.

bix1 avatar
Nancy Bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The screaming woman was the idiot; however it is the store's fault. Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them that you can't shop there if you can't take care of your son. Up the manager tree or their website.

bix1 avatar
Nancy Bixby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The screaming woman was the idiot; however it is the store's fault. Call them and tell them what happened. Tell them that you can't shop there if you can't take care of your son. Up the manager tree or their website.

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I (male) was at the doctors office the other day and had to use the bathroom. Unfortunately the bathrooms are single occupancy and it was occupied...so I waited. I didn't have to wait long and when the person finished and came out it was a woman. I didn't say anything to her but I stewed for far too long afterwards because I know, without a doubt, that if it had been reversed and I had gone into the women's bathroom because I just couldn't wait I'd have been read the riot act.

chrismenaster avatar
Chris M
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

jelwell avatar
Mavis Cruet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to find the story because according to BP every one agrees with what he did.

karen_mattock avatar
Karen Violette Cubbison
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA TA was the staffer that just left him at the bathrooms. I question if the woman who was screaming had been a victim of abuse. If so, her response makes sense (although if she had stopped a second to take in a man, a baby and a poopy smell, she might have been okay). If she hadn't, she is also TA. This dad gets an A+ for taking care of his baby when #1. the rules weren't clear and #2 . his baby's needs came before his comfort.

allyfsgooch avatar
Ally R
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. If anything, it's highlighted the shops backwards thinking in only having a changing table in a female loo. Personally, I don't see why there are separate toilets/bathrooms anyway. I've used many a unisex loo and have never felt threatened.

familiedito64 avatar
Fembot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or, you know, make restrooms welcoming for all people and add plenty of changing tables. (And urinals and toilets behind properly closing doors.)

louise_cameron79 avatar
Lou Cam
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where I live in the UK the situation with the man in a women's toilets with their kid is fairly common and most people don't object (or are too polite to say anything). That said, in the UK we have full sized doors on our cubicles so you are not at risk of being seen changing a tampon for instance by the person at the changing table. I wouldn't like a man in the changing area in the US toilet for this reason but my reaction would have just been to wait outside until he was done and not scream or complain.

curriejg avatar
James G. Currie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Legally*, using the incorrect gendered washroom for *any* reason is illegal, and can see Civil and Criminal sanctions levied. -- Ethically or Morally, you have to do what has to be done for the situation. -- As for asking someone else to change one's own kid's diapers... Rude much? I would not trust the staffer or unknown woman not to start claiming the kid is hers. (Yeah, I have some trust / paranoia issues about somethings.)

janice_parks_100 avatar
Janice Parks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG why is it so hard to put up a ding dang changing table in the men’s bathroom??? Also, guess what? A lot of women’s bathrooms don’t have changing tables either. So for a couple hundred years (during the age of the diaper) what have people done?! They thought ahead and brought a travel changing pad and put it on the floor! Sometimes the baby minder heads to the store’s changing room. Sometimes they just head to an out-of-the-way aisle and sit on the floor… or find an empty low wide shelf… or just run out to the car! This is not hard! There’s no reason for dad to use the women’s restroom.

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Paul Richards
Community Member
1 year ago

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Guys can't catch a break anymore. Women are nags and being a responsible father is gonna get you yelled at by a karen

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Tamra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Women are nags"?? Do you not see all the women commenting here in support of this man? Or is your sexism making you blind?

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jennyv avatar
Bored Broad
Community Member
1 year ago

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You poor guy, just trying to care for your Bub. With all the 'woke' gender fluid ideology out there and insistence that biological women share their toilets and maternity wards with 'women' with beards, WHAT THE HELL was wrong with this?? Sickening double standards

rchargel avatar
RafCo (he/him)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If be willing to bet that the screaming lady wasn't a "woke social justice warrior". If anything, she was a conservative snowflake who didn't get her trigger warning "beware, men also change diapers, you may be forced to see a loving father when entering this room"

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