Man Cuts Honeymoon Short After Finding Out That His In-Laws Were Only Feeding His 9 Y.O. Snacks, Gets Blasted By Wife For “Always Ruining Things”
Many will probably agree that marriage is not always easy. And while it may absolutely be a blissful journey, it is not unusual to run across some hiccups along the way.
This is especially relevant to newlyweds who are just learning to adjust and, well, adapt to their new roles – but God knows how many things you can learn about your partner in that first year.
Conflicts based on household chores, debt and money issues, values and beliefs, a rocky relationship with in-laws – all of this is just a minor portion of what can go wrong. However, the trouble doubles when there’s a child involved.
The star of today’s article has a kid from a previous relationship and recently found himself in a bit of a pickle. The thing is, his wife insisted that they leave the boy with her parents while they vacationed away on their delayed honeymoon, and while the man was hesitant to do so due to his son’s dietary needs, he agreed – but was quick to regret it.
More info: Reddit
You know what they say: “Children always come first”
Image credits: faungg’s photos (not the actual photo)
“AITA for cutting the trip with my wife short after I learned that my son’s step-grandparents weren’t feeding him properly?” – this internet user resorted to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members whether he’s indeed a jerk for cutting his and his wife’s long-awaited trip short after finding out that his in-laws refused to accommodate his child’s dietary needs. The post managed to garner over 11K upvotes as well as 1.9K comments discussing the situation.
Man ponders if he was wrong to cut his honeymoon trip short after learning his in-laws weren’t feeding his 9-year-old properly
Image credits: Throwra324546
The man began his post by revealing that he and his wife tied the knot a couple of months ago. The couple was unable to go on a honeymoon right away, but he was later able to plan a trip.
The author originally planned to leave his 9-year-old with his regular babysitter, but the woman insisted they leave him with her parents. Since his child has particular dietary limitations owing to medical issues, and there was also this episode where the in-laws referred to his needs as being “spoiled,” the post’s author was a little apprehensive, but he eventually gave in and did just that.
The OP’s in-laws once called his kid “spoiled” because of his dietary restrictions; therefore, he had originally intended to leave him with his babysitter
Image credits: Throwra324546
On the fourth day of the trip, he got a call from his son telling him that he hadn’t had a cooked meal in days and had just been eating snacks. Needless to say, the author of the post was taken aback. The man asked his offspring if his grandparents had cooked any of his regular dishes that were on the list that he had handed to them prior, and he said no.
After being persuaded by his wife, he eventually gave in and left his offspring with his step-grandparents
Image credits: Throwra324546
Once it had all sunk in, the post’s creator grew livid, especially after he reached out to his mother-in-law, who argued that she wasn’t a personal cook and that it wasn’t her fault that his son – you guessed it – is spoiled.
Naturally, the man cut the trip short and went to collect his child immediately. The wife was upset and couldn’t understand why he had to leave and couldn’t just let the babysitter take care of all the feeding.
Later on, the kid called, complaining that he had only been eating snacks since his grandparents refused to accommodate his dietary needs
Image credits: Throwra324546
Image credits: P C (not the actual photo)
The matter grew into a conflict real quick; the woman ended up telling the author that her parents owed him nothing and slammed him for always ruining things. Particularly this trip, which she had allegedly paid for.
Many will probably agree that the behavior of both the wife and her parents screams “red flag.” At the end of the day, it’s a 9-year-old child that we’re talking about. But, unfortunately for all of us, humans can be pretty unpredictable, and getting into a relationship when you already have a kid doesn’t always work out. However, what’s really odd is that it was the wife who initiated leaving the little one with her parents, but she was then quick to throw in the whole “they don’t owe you anything” argument.
What do you think about this situation? And what would you do if you were in the author’s shoes?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
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Step 1 : Feed the kid Step 2 : Leave the wife, judging from that, she will neglect your son and propably gaslight him. There will be real problems with her and her parents. Get out now. Step 3 : Punchs the in-laws for abusing your child. Not feeding a kid is abuse. Simple as that.
When a child has medical issues that require either certain medications or a certain diet, then you give them those medications or feed them that diet. It is not spoiled to have to eat a certain diet, it is having a health problem that you can't control. I have an allergy to fish and if we had fish at school and my parents found out about it, they would bring me lunch to eat instead. Being a step family to a child actually involves caring about the child. OP is NTA and needs to decide whether being married to this woman is worth the effort.
So. Sigh. I had this stepmother. She delighted in keeping food from me and forcing me to eat things I was allergic too and then punishing me for having an allergic reaction. It is almost 40 years ago I remember it very clearly and even more clearly the day I just stopped going. My father died asking for me but she refused to let me in the house. Divorce her. Yesterday.
Yeah, no. Feeding a child properly is essential for optimal growth, not doing so when you have the means is abuse in my books. Calling that "spoiled" is beyond callous, and little more than a lazy excuse. I would've insisted on sending jr. to his usual sitter, but it is also a good litmus test for any potential relationship hazards - maybe it's better that this happened now before things got out of hand.
I can't get over how they call him spoiled then don't even get off their lazy asses to cook proper food
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Sorry I have to go with everyone sucking here. Not because he cut the holiday short, but because of this - "I agreed but was hasitant because my son has dietry ristrictions due to medical problems and my inlaws commented on his eating habits as "spoiled". " But he still sent him to them despite the concern, but worse by the sounds of it he never checked up despite that concern until 4 days later when the boy called to tell him off his own back. The others are all AH for obvious reasons. There's so much information missing here but this smacks of wanting to have an 'I told you so' moment at the risk of the kid.
Exactly! One of my most basic rules I follow is that if I'm hesitating for any reason, I don't go/do whatever it might be.
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Regardless of how serious his medical issues are, this seems to imply inlaws did not give the kid any actual meals?? In what universe is that okay??
I see this as similar to "I fed my grandson with Celiac's disease a pizza, he needs to get over this. He's spoiled. AITA?"
Even if the child didn't have dietary requirements, to only feed him snacks??? What were the adults eating? Divorce the wife, tell th in laws to f off. Your kid your rules
Please, please, please take your son & leave these awful people! How cruel can one be to not care about a child's medical condition? They say he's spoiled? Please take your son & run, don't walk, away from these horrible people!
Who the hell feeds a kid junk food for days, and considers a cooked meal "spoiling them"? 😨
Well done. Trips come and go but the kids will always know who has their back. Kids before anyone.
Wow, way too much missing here. Did man ask the parents what he was being fed? Can’t believe anyone would only feed “snacks” to a child for 4 days. What exactly was neing fed? hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken fingers aren’t snacks but typical “kid” food. What kind of diet is this child on and why? That info is important. Real medical issues? Definitely NTA, made up ones, maybe. If he’s only been given chips and that kind of thing and no “real food” the NTA. Way too much missing here!!
So, let me get this straight....feeding a child a regular meal is "spoiling" them now? So, that wife of his must have some kind of eating disorder from not being given an actual meal her entire life. Also....it was the wife's idea to leave the son with her parents instead of the babysitter like the original plan was, and did she actually pay for the trip? Because the way I read it, the OP was the one who booked the trip...there are so many red flags here....I'd be filing an annulment ASAP.
Let's be honest, you don't go to r/aita to tell everyone how wonderful your life is, how all your friends, and family are so supportive. That's a different reddit thread.
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I think that wife is a selfish b***h, and her "parents" are sick abusive a******s. If that b***h didn't want to look after the child, she shouldn't have agreed to take him. Wow, too lazy to cook him meals. I see an immediate divorce and lawsuit happening, and if it doesn't, then there's something just as wrong with the Dad.
Guys the dumbass because he admits he knew what the in laws were like BEFORE going on the trip. Should have said the babysitter was fine and not buckled. Wife would probably have thrown a fit and shown her true colors then and there. Could have cancelled the trip and probably saved some money in the process for a divorce because they don't belong married to each other anyways.
Who the hell just feeds someone snacks instead of a regular meal? That sounds kinda made up. I just can’t imagine anyone especially grandparents doing that. Did they also eat snacks instead of food? Doesn’t make sense.
This behavior goes on in the ghetto every day. Or there's no snacks in the house and the kids are left to fend for themselves. Truth.
Load More Replies... It is not said in the post but I can imagine the MIL cooking normally, but those meals were not what the kid needed. So, as he was refusing to eat what they cooked, he only got snacks. In this case MIL was „only“ refusing to cook a second extra meal just for the kid. Understandable, if the kid was really just spoiled, but she is probably one of those people who don‘t understand allergies and such. I‘ll bet from her point of view the kid refused her cooking and that‘s why he just got snacks. Lot‘s of people would do the same with their own kids, if they just refused to eat what was on the table…. Maybe not even get any snacks. AND I am 99% sure the wife thinks the same as her Mother and that‘s why she insisted her parents would look after the kid. She wanted her Mom to teach the „spoiled“ stepson to eat what‘s on the table. They are both AH. I wonder what his dietary needs are… if it is anything like celiac then this would be extra bad.
I agree with you on this. I had a mother in law the same. She thought cows milk intolerance wasn't real. So she'd lie about cows milk being in the things she made. After the first time that my baby got blood streaked diarrhea after eating her food, we started taking our own. She'd get offended and would pester us to eat her food. When pushed she'd admit she'd used dairy "but it's only a tiny bit."
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I think it went down like this… the grandparents cooked great meals. But there were none the son could eat because of allergies and grandparents decided that he should eat what they cooked because he is “spoiled “. Why didn’t Dad call his in-laws to get another perspective? I wish there was a follow up on this.
Has anyone seen an update? Like everyone has said, that dad needs to get his kid and divorce that woman. If this is the honeymoon, only hell can follow.
He should consider an annulment or divorce. This would just be the beginning of the abuse that would be there for his son under this step mother and her parents.
Since when is cooking a child a hot meal spoiling them? The in laws sound just as repulsive as the new wife, he needs to get that marriage annulled asap. He's made a massive error.
This makes me so sad. My husband and I went on a honeymoon half a year ago and his parents cared for my kid that whole time. My husband is not the biological father of my kid but he and his parents cared for him for over 6 years (my kid was almost 1y when we got together). His parents went above and beyond to care for him like he is theirs. That's how it's supposed to be! Always!
Even if the child didn't have health issues and dietary restrictions who doesn't feed a child a warm meal in 4 days? Add the other things in and you have an even bigger problem! OP should seriously reconsider this marriage as this family is obviously toxic!
Get out now! This is undeniable evidence of your child’s future if he has to live with this abuser. She doesn’t give a s**+ about your son. She never will.
I know they just got married but Lord Almighty I hope OP files for divorce immediately. She's the one who insisted they not leave him with the usual sitter, and she has the cajones to bring up the sitter after he finds out her parents starved his kid? If that red flag was any bigger you could make a tent with it.
This is some pretty classic narcissistic/abusive behavior by the wife. Run, do not walk, to get a divorce. It'll only get worse. She insisted on her parents watching him. Then she blames you for their poor care of them and for ruining the vacation *she* paid for because of *her* decisions. You will always take the blame for everything and she will always reward herself the credit for everything.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I've been in a similar relationship. The sooner you get away the easier and better ot will be for you and your son! Unfortunately these people will be in his life forever.
ESH. The kid wasn’t starving, was OP sure he just wasn’t causing trouble so dad would come home? Were the snacks ok for his dietary needs? Did the dad tell the parents they had to serve him only stuff from the list or he would need to come home? Why did op leave him with the grandparents if he knew the diet was a problem? Why did he just have the babysitter go get the kid once he knew it was a problem? All of this seems avoidable but everyone wants the wife to be the wicked stepmother because she actually wants her honeymoon and trusted her parents.
Thanks dad for jumping on a plane and rescueing your son. When are you calling the police. Sit with the wife and explain to her you just saved her repulsive parents from a minimal court date but could be jail time depending on where you are. Were there any serious medical consequences from this? Also mention this to the police when you make your report. Get a record of their neglect. And... cut that dead wood loose. I dont care of she rocks your world. This step mom is not a good fit for your family.
Wait, I'm sorry. Did nobody read the part where it says that the babysitter could have fed him? Technically, op could have given the babysitter permission to go over there and get the kid, and prevent the ils from even seeing him. Somebody was there to take care of the kid. Op didn't need to rush home. I'm not going to call the guy an a**e for caring about his kid, but I'm just really surprised that every single comment said nta as if there were no other options. I would rush home from a trip for my neice, or my pets if they were actually in trouble, but I'd be pissed if my partner cut a trip short unnecessarily when there was already someone there to fix the issue. I don't think that makes the wife a bad person like he needs to divorce her over it. Just don't leave the kid with the ils again. Don't let them anywhere near him.
As someone who can't have certain things or certain foods in a row and has IBS and had pre-diabetes, and h a d to live a life on snacks and fast food sometimes, NTA NTA a million, quadrillion times, not the AH. Wife is spoiled for expecting him to have her parents on the case *and* a babysitter being used as a personal cook
Dude how do you marry someone and not make sure your son is going to be safe with her. Did her beliefs about him not appear when you were dating? Will she be able to care for him especially if you not around. How about when you have kids, where will he stand. In the back row forgotten or next to everyone as part of the family. You have brought people that will be part of his life until he takes control of it. Your inlaws don't care for his well being, your new wife clearly seem to see him as a nuisance. Imagine something happen to you and he's stuck with these people. In my book YTA for doing this to your son.
I wouldn't have expected this from a mother first-hand, but I guess (and should've known that) monsters exist in every shape and form. OP is NTA but would be if he remains with this monster of a baby maker (I refuse to call her mother now) and her equally twisted family. Smh...
Why could there not have been a renegotiation where your child was immediately put back with his regular caregiver? Immediately! And then everybody could relax you could continue on your honeymoon and then deal with the in-laws when you got back? Things needed time to decompress. The response on the part of the grandparents was intolerable to me. I could not, or should not be around them anytime soon afterwards because I wanted to s**p the c**p out of her! Decompress! Not escalate. For people to suggest getting a divorce over this is insane.
Step 1 : Feed the kid Step 2 : Leave the wife, judging from that, she will neglect your son and propably gaslight him. There will be real problems with her and her parents. Get out now. Step 3 : Punchs the in-laws for abusing your child. Not feeding a kid is abuse. Simple as that.
When a child has medical issues that require either certain medications or a certain diet, then you give them those medications or feed them that diet. It is not spoiled to have to eat a certain diet, it is having a health problem that you can't control. I have an allergy to fish and if we had fish at school and my parents found out about it, they would bring me lunch to eat instead. Being a step family to a child actually involves caring about the child. OP is NTA and needs to decide whether being married to this woman is worth the effort.
So. Sigh. I had this stepmother. She delighted in keeping food from me and forcing me to eat things I was allergic too and then punishing me for having an allergic reaction. It is almost 40 years ago I remember it very clearly and even more clearly the day I just stopped going. My father died asking for me but she refused to let me in the house. Divorce her. Yesterday.
Yeah, no. Feeding a child properly is essential for optimal growth, not doing so when you have the means is abuse in my books. Calling that "spoiled" is beyond callous, and little more than a lazy excuse. I would've insisted on sending jr. to his usual sitter, but it is also a good litmus test for any potential relationship hazards - maybe it's better that this happened now before things got out of hand.
I can't get over how they call him spoiled then don't even get off their lazy asses to cook proper food
Load More Replies... Sorry I have to go with everyone sucking here. Not because he cut the holiday short, but because of this - "I agreed but was hasitant because my son has dietry ristrictions due to medical problems and my inlaws commented on his eating habits as "spoiled". " But he still sent him to them despite the concern, but worse by the sounds of it he never checked up despite that concern until 4 days later when the boy called to tell him off his own back. The others are all AH for obvious reasons. There's so much information missing here but this smacks of wanting to have an 'I told you so' moment at the risk of the kid.
Exactly! One of my most basic rules I follow is that if I'm hesitating for any reason, I don't go/do whatever it might be.
Load More Replies... Regardless of how serious his medical issues are, this seems to imply inlaws did not give the kid any actual meals?? In what universe is that okay??
I see this as similar to "I fed my grandson with Celiac's disease a pizza, he needs to get over this. He's spoiled. AITA?"
Even if the child didn't have dietary requirements, to only feed him snacks??? What were the adults eating? Divorce the wife, tell th in laws to f off. Your kid your rules
Please, please, please take your son & leave these awful people! How cruel can one be to not care about a child's medical condition? They say he's spoiled? Please take your son & run, don't walk, away from these horrible people!
Who the hell feeds a kid junk food for days, and considers a cooked meal "spoiling them"? 😨
Well done. Trips come and go but the kids will always know who has their back. Kids before anyone.
Wow, way too much missing here. Did man ask the parents what he was being fed? Can’t believe anyone would only feed “snacks” to a child for 4 days. What exactly was neing fed? hamburgers, hotdogs, chicken fingers aren’t snacks but typical “kid” food. What kind of diet is this child on and why? That info is important. Real medical issues? Definitely NTA, made up ones, maybe. If he’s only been given chips and that kind of thing and no “real food” the NTA. Way too much missing here!!
So, let me get this straight....feeding a child a regular meal is "spoiling" them now? So, that wife of his must have some kind of eating disorder from not being given an actual meal her entire life. Also....it was the wife's idea to leave the son with her parents instead of the babysitter like the original plan was, and did she actually pay for the trip? Because the way I read it, the OP was the one who booked the trip...there are so many red flags here....I'd be filing an annulment ASAP.
Let's be honest, you don't go to r/aita to tell everyone how wonderful your life is, how all your friends, and family are so supportive. That's a different reddit thread.
Load More Replies... I think that wife is a selfish b***h, and her "parents" are sick abusive a******s. If that b***h didn't want to look after the child, she shouldn't have agreed to take him. Wow, too lazy to cook him meals. I see an immediate divorce and lawsuit happening, and if it doesn't, then there's something just as wrong with the Dad.
Guys the dumbass because he admits he knew what the in laws were like BEFORE going on the trip. Should have said the babysitter was fine and not buckled. Wife would probably have thrown a fit and shown her true colors then and there. Could have cancelled the trip and probably saved some money in the process for a divorce because they don't belong married to each other anyways.
Who the hell just feeds someone snacks instead of a regular meal? That sounds kinda made up. I just can’t imagine anyone especially grandparents doing that. Did they also eat snacks instead of food? Doesn’t make sense.
This behavior goes on in the ghetto every day. Or there's no snacks in the house and the kids are left to fend for themselves. Truth.
Load More Replies... It is not said in the post but I can imagine the MIL cooking normally, but those meals were not what the kid needed. So, as he was refusing to eat what they cooked, he only got snacks. In this case MIL was „only“ refusing to cook a second extra meal just for the kid. Understandable, if the kid was really just spoiled, but she is probably one of those people who don‘t understand allergies and such. I‘ll bet from her point of view the kid refused her cooking and that‘s why he just got snacks. Lot‘s of people would do the same with their own kids, if they just refused to eat what was on the table…. Maybe not even get any snacks. AND I am 99% sure the wife thinks the same as her Mother and that‘s why she insisted her parents would look after the kid. She wanted her Mom to teach the „spoiled“ stepson to eat what‘s on the table. They are both AH. I wonder what his dietary needs are… if it is anything like celiac then this would be extra bad.
I agree with you on this. I had a mother in law the same. She thought cows milk intolerance wasn't real. So she'd lie about cows milk being in the things she made. After the first time that my baby got blood streaked diarrhea after eating her food, we started taking our own. She'd get offended and would pester us to eat her food. When pushed she'd admit she'd used dairy "but it's only a tiny bit."
Load More Replies... I think it went down like this… the grandparents cooked great meals. But there were none the son could eat because of allergies and grandparents decided that he should eat what they cooked because he is “spoiled “. Why didn’t Dad call his in-laws to get another perspective? I wish there was a follow up on this.
Has anyone seen an update? Like everyone has said, that dad needs to get his kid and divorce that woman. If this is the honeymoon, only hell can follow.
He should consider an annulment or divorce. This would just be the beginning of the abuse that would be there for his son under this step mother and her parents.
Since when is cooking a child a hot meal spoiling them? The in laws sound just as repulsive as the new wife, he needs to get that marriage annulled asap. He's made a massive error.
This makes me so sad. My husband and I went on a honeymoon half a year ago and his parents cared for my kid that whole time. My husband is not the biological father of my kid but he and his parents cared for him for over 6 years (my kid was almost 1y when we got together). His parents went above and beyond to care for him like he is theirs. That's how it's supposed to be! Always!
Even if the child didn't have health issues and dietary restrictions who doesn't feed a child a warm meal in 4 days? Add the other things in and you have an even bigger problem! OP should seriously reconsider this marriage as this family is obviously toxic!
Get out now! This is undeniable evidence of your child’s future if he has to live with this abuser. She doesn’t give a s**+ about your son. She never will.
I know they just got married but Lord Almighty I hope OP files for divorce immediately. She's the one who insisted they not leave him with the usual sitter, and she has the cajones to bring up the sitter after he finds out her parents starved his kid? If that red flag was any bigger you could make a tent with it.
This is some pretty classic narcissistic/abusive behavior by the wife. Run, do not walk, to get a divorce. It'll only get worse. She insisted on her parents watching him. Then she blames you for their poor care of them and for ruining the vacation *she* paid for because of *her* decisions. You will always take the blame for everything and she will always reward herself the credit for everything.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I've been in a similar relationship. The sooner you get away the easier and better ot will be for you and your son! Unfortunately these people will be in his life forever.
ESH. The kid wasn’t starving, was OP sure he just wasn’t causing trouble so dad would come home? Were the snacks ok for his dietary needs? Did the dad tell the parents they had to serve him only stuff from the list or he would need to come home? Why did op leave him with the grandparents if he knew the diet was a problem? Why did he just have the babysitter go get the kid once he knew it was a problem? All of this seems avoidable but everyone wants the wife to be the wicked stepmother because she actually wants her honeymoon and trusted her parents.
Thanks dad for jumping on a plane and rescueing your son. When are you calling the police. Sit with the wife and explain to her you just saved her repulsive parents from a minimal court date but could be jail time depending on where you are. Were there any serious medical consequences from this? Also mention this to the police when you make your report. Get a record of their neglect. And... cut that dead wood loose. I dont care of she rocks your world. This step mom is not a good fit for your family.
Wait, I'm sorry. Did nobody read the part where it says that the babysitter could have fed him? Technically, op could have given the babysitter permission to go over there and get the kid, and prevent the ils from even seeing him. Somebody was there to take care of the kid. Op didn't need to rush home. I'm not going to call the guy an a**e for caring about his kid, but I'm just really surprised that every single comment said nta as if there were no other options. I would rush home from a trip for my neice, or my pets if they were actually in trouble, but I'd be pissed if my partner cut a trip short unnecessarily when there was already someone there to fix the issue. I don't think that makes the wife a bad person like he needs to divorce her over it. Just don't leave the kid with the ils again. Don't let them anywhere near him.
As someone who can't have certain things or certain foods in a row and has IBS and had pre-diabetes, and h a d to live a life on snacks and fast food sometimes, NTA NTA a million, quadrillion times, not the AH. Wife is spoiled for expecting him to have her parents on the case *and* a babysitter being used as a personal cook
Dude how do you marry someone and not make sure your son is going to be safe with her. Did her beliefs about him not appear when you were dating? Will she be able to care for him especially if you not around. How about when you have kids, where will he stand. In the back row forgotten or next to everyone as part of the family. You have brought people that will be part of his life until he takes control of it. Your inlaws don't care for his well being, your new wife clearly seem to see him as a nuisance. Imagine something happen to you and he's stuck with these people. In my book YTA for doing this to your son.
I wouldn't have expected this from a mother first-hand, but I guess (and should've known that) monsters exist in every shape and form. OP is NTA but would be if he remains with this monster of a baby maker (I refuse to call her mother now) and her equally twisted family. Smh...
Why could there not have been a renegotiation where your child was immediately put back with his regular caregiver? Immediately! And then everybody could relax you could continue on your honeymoon and then deal with the in-laws when you got back? Things needed time to decompress. The response on the part of the grandparents was intolerable to me. I could not, or should not be around them anytime soon afterwards because I wanted to s**p the c**p out of her! Decompress! Not escalate. For people to suggest getting a divorce over this is insane.
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