Following the conventional norms of manhood can bring social and professional rewards to some boys and men. But it's not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.
So when people are telling everyone that real men don't express emotion openly, that they have to be "tough all the time", that anything other than that makes them "feminine" or weak, there's a problem. They're putting others in a box. Scratch that. They're putting half of this world's population in a box.
Showing just how often that happens online, the Twitter account Hot Masculinity Takes accepts submissions from folks who find the absolute worst opinions about men on the Internet and reshares them on its wall. Sadly, judging by the number of entries, there's no shortage of these instances.
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Yep, he got her pregnant by being gay. That’s how being gay works
The person behind Hot Masculinity Takes wanted to remain anonymous but they told Bored Panda that the point of this account is just to post the takes and let people draw their own conclusions.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" they explained. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too."
Yet anyone can knock someone else out but not everyone can cook good food.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), these cultural "lessons" have been linked to “aggression and violence,” leaving boys and men at “disproportionate risk for school discipline, academic challenges and health disparities,” including cardiovascular problems and substance abuse.
“Men are overrepresented in prisons, are more likely than women to commit violent crimes, and are at greatest risk of being a victim of violent crime,” the American Psychological Association (APA) wrote.
Societal pressures, expectations from family, friends, and partners, and even expectations of religious identities can be burdensome to a man seeking out his masculine identity.
While some social, political, or religious groups may provide a set of guidelines for a healthy form of masculinity, experts say it is better for an individual to stick to their own definition, so long as it does not harm themselves or others.
Wait staff in the U.S. make less than minimum wage. Plus I'd love to see these people actually wait tables. Seriously. Lets see how long they last when they have to deal with other people like themselves and everything else wait staff has to deal with.
Oh dear sky daddy someones been reading too much paranormal romance novels.
No, this guy has read too much incel drivel. Romance novels don't contain nonsense like this.
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Don't call them that, they'd feel flattered by the term. I prefer "creep".
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My fiance smiles all day, even so often that it will freeze in his face one day I believe. It always makes me happy too to see him smiling. I'm sure this person that wrote that post here makes nobody smile, like, ever.
Aaa the stupid "Alpha and Beta" crap. Debunked years ago, by the study's own authors no less and insecure people still trot it out
Because women actually prefer alpha males who signal themselves as a threat, for sure.
A real man doesn't live his life categorizing things as "alpha" or "beta".
But....i don't wanna be alpha...i wanna be regular man that smiles...
Trust me, most women are like me. A smile beats a smirk every time! Smile = friendly smirk = creepy
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Pretty sure that this guy also thinks believing in a round Earth is feminine also.
Showing teeth is actually more dominant in the animal world, it's a sign of attack. Nice try, omega.
Men smiling and laughing are so attractive, shows they don't take life seriously and are likely to be fun to be around!
Anyone who uses terms like beta or alpha other than in a jokingly manner, is already a red flag to me.
what are you...a lemur or something?? (whoever has the worst smell is the alpha of lemurs)
I never get why the terms "alpha", "beta" and all that would actually apply to real life people. I believe human society is more complicated than that of animals.
Here is something everyone needs to know about this whole alpha male bullshit. It isn't real. People who call themselves alpha males are always douchebags. People who think something makes you more or less alpha are douchebags. Basing anything in your life on whether or not something is alpha enough makes you a douchebag. For the women who specifically seek out these over the top trying too hard to be alpha types, there's a reason all of your relationships have been superficial and shitty.
for me a smile is the most attractive thing in guys, i see smile, i die..
Does this person not know that in the animal kingdom, baring teeth is considered "alpha"? So, smiling is actually masculine.
Basically saying men who don't smile are a threat. Thanks, as a woman I will stay clear of you.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson smiles all the time. Go tell him to his face he's a big beta.
If some random guy smirks at me, or looks at me without smiling, I'm going to assume he means me harm.
The person that wrote that knows nothing of the Alpha Beta relationship, go and study the interactions of Alpha and Beta Wolves and see how dumb you've just made yourself look.
A smirk creates a negative reaction. I vote these "men" smirk, so we can avoid them! :-)
Nest he’ll probably say “breathing is gay because you’re sharing air with men, that’s why not breathing is very alpha.”
F*****g smirk? Thats so unappealing, a smirk is a superiority type thing. But I guess whether guys smile or not, and how they smile, isn't my business (in any case not my business to tell them what to do). It's documented that women generally hate being told to smile, myself included. I just think smirks are for jerks. Nothing wrong with a crooked smile, they aren't the same thing
I would think that a man who does not want to make me sick cares about me. Even if it's just as a human being who deserves their health protected.
Modern men beg for women's appreciation..and ancient men didn't? MUHAHAHA The Greek 'ancient man' Paris chose Aprodite as the winner of this beauty pageant because she promised him that if he did so, Helen of Troy (the most beautiful girl in the world) would love him. This started a 10 year war..10 YEARS!!!!
I think men with illegible handwriting have far more explaining to do...
No, I kinda like this one. Sawdust gets abso-fricken-lutely everywhere, just like glitter. It's just as irritating. Statistically speaking, more men are going to generate sawdust than women. That's the trouble with absolutes though - men will use glitter (if they are an artist, for example, or a chef and it's the edible kind) and women will do woodworking and create sawdust. But lumping stereotypes together makes for a short, pithy joke.
Would be funny to pop up to a construction site wearing business attire.
Guess the overabundance of testosterone keeps them from typing. Or is that gay too?
Ok depends on *how* frugal. Regular to moderate Frugal I can get behind, sure we'll probably need to triple coupon but saved money is security. Excessive frugalness to to the point of where you're issued 4 squares of TP a day, that's just insane and kind of scary. None of it's gay unless they're talking about how happy the Frugal man is to buy his car or house in cash.
Note: this post originally had 48 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
All of this is sad on so many levels. So much insecurity, so much self-hate in many of the posters. So much misogynist thinking. So little tolerance, openness. I shall return to being decorated with glitter unicorn barrettes by my daughters and pity those who deem that a non-masculine action.
It isn't traditionally masculine, but that shouldn't matter. The issue is they think masculinity=respect, so women are obvi, not respected.
Load More Replies... Never seen such a collection of losers in my life. But they will never see my comment because I'm sure reading a computer screen is "gay" to them.
It's sad to see that men can't be a human being. Or women. Or anybody. I feel sorry for these poor souls, they don't seem to understand about the concept of being a human.
Good for you! That's a big step towards manly, or so I learned.
Load More Replies... This just screams of a lot of entitlement and insecurity and people being threatened by the mere existence of other human beings. And how do they react if your response to their rambling is "ok, you do you, I don't care? I'm happy and having regular sex"? Outright fury that they are being denied their "rightful" whatever by someone "lesser" getting what they want. I wish I knew who or what to blame for all this, but I suspect it's way more complicated than a listicle website can analyse.
So none of them worries their Fear of the Feminine makes them look... fearful, weak, ... effeminate?
If it was up to these people we would have been extinct. They wouldnt have let others invent tools, or fire or language. I can see the first male supremacist being "eating cooked meat is gay".
Indeed!!! It truly confused me. Some I had to red a few times a I could not even follow their thoughts, let alone identify with ANY of them. Truly messed up people.
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Well as a woman I have to say after reading all this I don't want a "real man
Jeez! Reading this article just makes my blood boil! But that seems to be the world we're living in right now?! Anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, anti-everything against all that is common sense and empathetic! Men with a feminine side are the true men, because they are not trying to rule the world by killing or raping or cheating everyone! Few people seems to even know that word nowadays. Sad sad world, I'm gonna go cry now and have a single-malt and then take care of my eyebrows!
Day made after reading your comments. Thank you!
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What did I just read? Can I please have these minutes of my lifetime back?
I get why men might think such things... but how can women? Is this d as some kind of Stockholm syndrome?
Today I learned that real men smell incredibly bad, they are miserable on principal, and they are terrible at sex. I am going to go straight home and have a long conversation with my husband about his over use of soap, his endless desire to smile and laugh, and my 98% sexual satisfaction rate, we gotta get that number way down.
I know, right? What next? They comb their hair?!?! ;-S
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We just had a commenter on here the other day swearing that they had never had MEN perpetuate Toxic Masculinity toward him...it was always the women. I hope this article chock full of male on male toxic masculinity puts that nonsense to rest. It is not just, or even a majority, women that put these nonsensical "rules" onto men, men are perfectly capable of doing so as well...and it all needs to END.
I guess I'm a woman by their definition. But then their definition only works in their own tiny circle located in a basement somewhere. Good to know nonetheless.
I went to the comments after the 4th post, hoping they were sarcastic posts, but no, i'm shocked people think like this in the 21th century.
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There's enough toxicity to poison a municipal water supply in these posts! So much self-induced misery for no good reason... Just to fit misguided social norms that have been on the decline for decades...
Imagine, if all men would suddenly meet all these "criteria" and turn into smelly, grumpy, emotional unstable cave men....we'd go extinct.
Don't insult cave men. I'm pretty sure they weren't as dumb as this.
Load More Replies... Many of these post lacks so much common sense that I feel they are posting these just to troll people.
So basically, if you're a "real man" then you're bounded to live a miserable and unhappy life? Geez, that's why they're angry all the time I guess..
Where do they keep finding these people? Not even in my kickboxing class would you find a guy who thinks like that.
Another problem here too is that they seem to think gay men can't be manly and that straight men can't be feminine, and also that they think any combination thereof is correct or incorrect. The only right way to be is to be who you are
GRAHHH MEN!!! THEY ONLY EAT RAW PULSING BEAR HEART AND DRINK REINDEER PISS WE S**T IN THE OPEN AND SHOOT ARROWS WITH OUR FORESKIN!!!! MEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!
Some of these guys are so far in the closet there is a talking lion trying to explain how messed up they are.
anything that you dont like ... can be called gay or feminine... so easy... whoa... being gay and feminine is still an insult..
These are so annoying 🙄 can't believe that there are people out there who think like this.
At first i thought this was about guys being sarcastic, making macho jokes, but it was real! Its sad to see that much insecure people out there.
I love this, its every red flag of thinking to stay away from. Also they obviously don't know much about men in history because all of these things have at one time or another have been considered extremely masculine traits; including wearing heels and make-up. Comments like this shows how little these people really know about life... probably all still living in their mums garages
I tried to laugh at this bs but it gave me a knot in my stomach. But this is just the extreme end of th stupidity scale. So it hurts from stupid and it hurts from cultural norms are b******t, both.
Couldn't even get through the whole thing. Simple bastards trying to define masculinity, and they can't even spell "a". I've got what is probably considered to be a man's job, but I don't really feel the need to flash my balls in public, lol. Besides, I've got a fine dog who loves to handle their type of s**t-work.
A bunch of insecure jerks decided to put this sexist/homophobic crap up, just to start drama. Pretty sad actually.
Honestly, it shows a great amount of insecurity for men to adhere to these rules. When I see a man who's willing to wear a pink dress, get painted in glitter and have a tea party with his daughters, that shows me a man who's very secure in himself.
I couldn't even finish this. And one can assume many of these people have kids or may have kids. Is this just a US thing?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! This is an ignorant asshole thing. These men are truly sick and in need of therapy.
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Goodness gracious, the stupidity of these posts makes me weep for humanity's future. There is obviously a LONG way to go before people have an understanding of accepting and respecting people for who they are... Sad, really.
I'm female, and these comments still pissed me off! Has 'masculinity' in the USA really become that damn fragile?!
Hot take and actual fact: If you belittle another man based on stupid toxic and illogical reasons, you yourself, are not worthy of calling yourself a man,or a woman, or even agender/nonbinary for that matter. The only thing you are worthy of labeling yourself as is s**t and trash.
I was cringing so hard I only made it to #10, I'm sorry, i refuse to read any more.
I love how some of those sentient penises with bodies attached to them do not unterstand what the word "gay" even means
I Have Outlined All The Things GAY Here...If You Can Not Be Alpha Destructive Male Like Me Don't Get Born...HARRUMPH
If you bothered to read the tricksy "words" at the top of the article you would know that these are from one Twitter account that collected them from other places. Kinda like reddit or Buzzfeed or Boredpanda do all the time. Is this a new concept to you?
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another "only in Texas" rant, if interested.... In TX, people have an image of what a real man is: a combination of John Wayne, the Marlboro Man, and a buff, rough, tough, gruff young 20-something Marine who can beat up anybody on a whim.... They will call you Gay or VERY GAY if you are seen doing any of the following: drinking hot tea on afternoon break instead of coffee; acting one little bit "too friendly" for their taste when getting to know a new male co-worker; gardening, enjoying growing things (growing award-winning roses gets you the VERY GAY stamp); enjoying making gourmet meals for a few friends (male & female or couples) at get-togethers (grilling on the barbecue is okay for men); owning a cat, all gay men have cats; owning more than two cats gets you the VERY GAY stamp; owning six or more cats gets you the VERY GAY PATHETIC OLD WOMAN IN A MAN'S BODY stamp; ordering a "woman's drink" at the bar (not a whiskey, neat or beers).
ALL EU MEN, EUROPEAN MEN, SOUTH AFRICAN MEN, OR BRITS: please reply to this with your score. Score one point for each "gay" stamp, two points for each "very gay stamp", and also mention any behaviour I missed if it gets you a stamp. Show one point for each cat you own over a total of two. Thanks!
Load More Replies... I live in Texas... this means I have to dodge giant Ford F-350 or -250 pickups, or maybe a big Dodge Ram everywhere I go.... These trucks are literally big enough to tow an Abrams tank. I asked the owner of one once in a store parking lot what you could do with such a big pickup truck, and he said, "Well, I can tow a modern battle tank if I need to"... And he was serious! Why would a man spend an extra $30,000 for such a huge thing???... IT IS BECAUSE THE JERKS ARE COMPENSATING FOR THEIR MICRO-PACKAGES BEHIND THEIR ZIPPERS.... And it gets worse if they have their fashion model girlfriend in the front seat with them... Then they really show off with rude driving, sudden lane changes with no signal, anger to the point of moral outrage if you are in front of them and driving so much as a mile an hour slower than they want to go.... They really don't like it if you have a regular-sized car & have the audacity to use "their road"... WHAT JERKS! This is why you hear about "road-rage" gunfights on TX highways in the news. Warning: don't challenge someone like this if they are intimidating you. Just back down, and they will drive on, laughing at your obvious cowardice.
These are a collection of toxic male stereotypes collected by a Twitter account, they range supporting it.
Load More Replies... All of this is sad on so many levels. So much insecurity, so much self-hate in many of the posters. So much misogynist thinking. So little tolerance, openness. I shall return to being decorated with glitter unicorn barrettes by my daughters and pity those who deem that a non-masculine action.
It isn't traditionally masculine, but that shouldn't matter. The issue is they think masculinity=respect, so women are obvi, not respected.
Load More Replies... Never seen such a collection of losers in my life. But they will never see my comment because I'm sure reading a computer screen is "gay" to them.
It's sad to see that men can't be a human being. Or women. Or anybody. I feel sorry for these poor souls, they don't seem to understand about the concept of being a human.
Good for you! That's a big step towards manly, or so I learned.
Load More Replies... This just screams of a lot of entitlement and insecurity and people being threatened by the mere existence of other human beings. And how do they react if your response to their rambling is "ok, you do you, I don't care? I'm happy and having regular sex"? Outright fury that they are being denied their "rightful" whatever by someone "lesser" getting what they want. I wish I knew who or what to blame for all this, but I suspect it's way more complicated than a listicle website can analyse.
So none of them worries their Fear of the Feminine makes them look... fearful, weak, ... effeminate?
If it was up to these people we would have been extinct. They wouldnt have let others invent tools, or fire or language. I can see the first male supremacist being "eating cooked meat is gay".
Indeed!!! It truly confused me. Some I had to red a few times a I could not even follow their thoughts, let alone identify with ANY of them. Truly messed up people.
Load More Replies... Well as a woman I have to say after reading all this I don't want a "real man
Jeez! Reading this article just makes my blood boil! But that seems to be the world we're living in right now?! Anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, anti-everything against all that is common sense and empathetic! Men with a feminine side are the true men, because they are not trying to rule the world by killing or raping or cheating everyone! Few people seems to even know that word nowadays. Sad sad world, I'm gonna go cry now and have a single-malt and then take care of my eyebrows!
Day made after reading your comments. Thank you!
Load More Replies... What did I just read? Can I please have these minutes of my lifetime back?
I get why men might think such things... but how can women? Is this d as some kind of Stockholm syndrome?
Today I learned that real men smell incredibly bad, they are miserable on principal, and they are terrible at sex. I am going to go straight home and have a long conversation with my husband about his over use of soap, his endless desire to smile and laugh, and my 98% sexual satisfaction rate, we gotta get that number way down.
I know, right? What next? They comb their hair?!?! ;-S
Load More Replies... We just had a commenter on here the other day swearing that they had never had MEN perpetuate Toxic Masculinity toward him...it was always the women. I hope this article chock full of male on male toxic masculinity puts that nonsense to rest. It is not just, or even a majority, women that put these nonsensical "rules" onto men, men are perfectly capable of doing so as well...and it all needs to END.
I guess I'm a woman by their definition. But then their definition only works in their own tiny circle located in a basement somewhere. Good to know nonetheless.
I went to the comments after the 4th post, hoping they were sarcastic posts, but no, i'm shocked people think like this in the 21th century.
Load More Replies... There's enough toxicity to poison a municipal water supply in these posts! So much self-induced misery for no good reason... Just to fit misguided social norms that have been on the decline for decades...
Imagine, if all men would suddenly meet all these "criteria" and turn into smelly, grumpy, emotional unstable cave men....we'd go extinct.
Don't insult cave men. I'm pretty sure they weren't as dumb as this.
Load More Replies... Many of these post lacks so much common sense that I feel they are posting these just to troll people.
So basically, if you're a "real man" then you're bounded to live a miserable and unhappy life? Geez, that's why they're angry all the time I guess..
Where do they keep finding these people? Not even in my kickboxing class would you find a guy who thinks like that.
Another problem here too is that they seem to think gay men can't be manly and that straight men can't be feminine, and also that they think any combination thereof is correct or incorrect. The only right way to be is to be who you are
GRAHHH MEN!!! THEY ONLY EAT RAW PULSING BEAR HEART AND DRINK REINDEER PISS WE S**T IN THE OPEN AND SHOOT ARROWS WITH OUR FORESKIN!!!! MEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN!
Some of these guys are so far in the closet there is a talking lion trying to explain how messed up they are.
anything that you dont like ... can be called gay or feminine... so easy... whoa... being gay and feminine is still an insult..
These are so annoying 🙄 can't believe that there are people out there who think like this.
At first i thought this was about guys being sarcastic, making macho jokes, but it was real! Its sad to see that much insecure people out there.
I love this, its every red flag of thinking to stay away from. Also they obviously don't know much about men in history because all of these things have at one time or another have been considered extremely masculine traits; including wearing heels and make-up. Comments like this shows how little these people really know about life... probably all still living in their mums garages
I tried to laugh at this bs but it gave me a knot in my stomach. But this is just the extreme end of th stupidity scale. So it hurts from stupid and it hurts from cultural norms are b******t, both.
Couldn't even get through the whole thing. Simple bastards trying to define masculinity, and they can't even spell "a". I've got what is probably considered to be a man's job, but I don't really feel the need to flash my balls in public, lol. Besides, I've got a fine dog who loves to handle their type of s**t-work.
A bunch of insecure jerks decided to put this sexist/homophobic crap up, just to start drama. Pretty sad actually.
Honestly, it shows a great amount of insecurity for men to adhere to these rules. When I see a man who's willing to wear a pink dress, get painted in glitter and have a tea party with his daughters, that shows me a man who's very secure in himself.
I couldn't even finish this. And one can assume many of these people have kids or may have kids. Is this just a US thing?
ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! This is an ignorant asshole thing. These men are truly sick and in need of therapy.
Load More Replies... Goodness gracious, the stupidity of these posts makes me weep for humanity's future. There is obviously a LONG way to go before people have an understanding of accepting and respecting people for who they are... Sad, really.
I'm female, and these comments still pissed me off! Has 'masculinity' in the USA really become that damn fragile?!
Hot take and actual fact: If you belittle another man based on stupid toxic and illogical reasons, you yourself, are not worthy of calling yourself a man,or a woman, or even agender/nonbinary for that matter. The only thing you are worthy of labeling yourself as is s**t and trash.
I was cringing so hard I only made it to #10, I'm sorry, i refuse to read any more.
I love how some of those sentient penises with bodies attached to them do not unterstand what the word "gay" even means
I Have Outlined All The Things GAY Here...If You Can Not Be Alpha Destructive Male Like Me Don't Get Born...HARRUMPH
If you bothered to read the tricksy "words" at the top of the article you would know that these are from one Twitter account that collected them from other places. Kinda like reddit or Buzzfeed or Boredpanda do all the time. Is this a new concept to you?
Load More Replies... another "only in Texas" rant, if interested.... In TX, people have an image of what a real man is: a combination of John Wayne, the Marlboro Man, and a buff, rough, tough, gruff young 20-something Marine who can beat up anybody on a whim.... They will call you Gay or VERY GAY if you are seen doing any of the following: drinking hot tea on afternoon break instead of coffee; acting one little bit "too friendly" for their taste when getting to know a new male co-worker; gardening, enjoying growing things (growing award-winning roses gets you the VERY GAY stamp); enjoying making gourmet meals for a few friends (male & female or couples) at get-togethers (grilling on the barbecue is okay for men); owning a cat, all gay men have cats; owning more than two cats gets you the VERY GAY stamp; owning six or more cats gets you the VERY GAY PATHETIC OLD WOMAN IN A MAN'S BODY stamp; ordering a "woman's drink" at the bar (not a whiskey, neat or beers).
ALL EU MEN, EUROPEAN MEN, SOUTH AFRICAN MEN, OR BRITS: please reply to this with your score. Score one point for each "gay" stamp, two points for each "very gay stamp", and also mention any behaviour I missed if it gets you a stamp. Show one point for each cat you own over a total of two. Thanks!
Load More Replies... I live in Texas... this means I have to dodge giant Ford F-350 or -250 pickups, or maybe a big Dodge Ram everywhere I go.... These trucks are literally big enough to tow an Abrams tank. I asked the owner of one once in a store parking lot what you could do with such a big pickup truck, and he said, "Well, I can tow a modern battle tank if I need to"... And he was serious! Why would a man spend an extra $30,000 for such a huge thing???... IT IS BECAUSE THE JERKS ARE COMPENSATING FOR THEIR MICRO-PACKAGES BEHIND THEIR ZIPPERS.... And it gets worse if they have their fashion model girlfriend in the front seat with them... Then they really show off with rude driving, sudden lane changes with no signal, anger to the point of moral outrage if you are in front of them and driving so much as a mile an hour slower than they want to go.... They really don't like it if you have a regular-sized car & have the audacity to use "their road"... WHAT JERKS! This is why you hear about "road-rage" gunfights on TX highways in the news. Warning: don't challenge someone like this if they are intimidating you. Just back down, and they will drive on, laughing at your obvious cowardice.
These are a collection of toxic male stereotypes collected by a Twitter account, they range supporting it.
Load More Replies... 