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What does it mean to be a "real" man? Well, masculinity is one of those topics everyone has an opinion on, as gender norms remain a delicate subject that tends to spark heated debates online. And even though public attitudes are becoming more accepting in many ways, stereotypical patterns of masculine behavior are still deeply rooted in our society — according to the age-old cliché of the masculine guy, men are expected to be strong, brave, and dominant.

But in reality, when people are telling everyone that a macho man doesn't cry, takes risks, makes money, fears nothing, and — heaven forbid! — never shows any signs of emotional vulnerability, it can spark some pretty warped ideas about manhood.

Thanks to one illuminating corner of Twitter called 'Hot Masculinity Takes,' we get to see a galore of absurd cases when this happens online. "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," says the account’s description, and you already know it’s gonna be a wild ride. So continue scrolling to check out the absolutely ridiculous opinions about men on the Internet, and don’t miss the chat we had about masculinity with licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jesse Matthews right below.

Psst! After you’re done with this list, more madness awaits in Part 1 of this feature right here.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanna punch the idiot who wrote this put down. And I’m an oh-so-estrogenic woman. My crushing lack of testosterone must be making me so irrational to say something like this. Isn’t it?🙄😤😡 Who is this misogynistic weirdo, to think he can be rude to the ladies and gentlemen like that? Bet he’s an insecure neckbeard.

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Captain Kyra
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

During menstruation women's testosterone levels are the closest they are to mens, do with that what you will. My husband buys pink tools because they stand out, are hard to misplace, and less likely to be stolen.🤷

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Jeff Gabrisl
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was still working construction, I would buy like ten of these and just slip into other guys toolboxes. Most guys would be like: "Free tools are free tools, and I needed a new razor knife". But there is the off chance that you could send a couple guys into a rage fueled frenzy, and I would just sit back and laugh!

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Jack Holt
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True... though I suspect these particular tools are cheap and not good quality but rather a gimmick... which is a bit sad really

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gotta be a construction / handyman out there who purposely got pink tools so no one would steal them 😉

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Yeah, okay.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. Shop I work at sells tool kits that are lavender with floral tools - hammer, screwdriver set, level, measuring tape, knife, - and women buy them, not because they want pink tools. They want tools their husband will quit stealing them never giving them back!

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h Landshark
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A "tool set" for $10? Keep it, regardless of the color. And I'll keep my Mikita investment.

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Gardener of Weeden
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally like these ad's... tells me EXACTLY were NOT to spend my money. Go ahead... publish your racist/ homophobic/ misogynistic views... I have saved a lot of money by not shopping locally.

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Adam Loren
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ask my 7 year old daughter or 3 year old son what my (their dad's) favorite color is, and they say "pink!" without hesitation. You know what else I love? Flowers, gardening, woodworking, welding, cooking, chainsaws, and practicing making siblings with their mother. You got a problem with that? No I'm not going to "whoop your a..": you're not worth the time and you'd learn nothing from it. What you like doesn't necessarily define you as a person; how you treat others is a much better indicator.

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René Sauer
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a guy and I have a pink microwave. Not really because I like the color, but it was on sale and the other two colors (grey and turquoise) were already gone when I got to the store. I did not want to go any other location of the chain, so I simply took the pink one.

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similarly
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a guy. If you gave me a really good, really strong, really well make toolkit in pink with My Little Pony on them, I'd totally use them ... and I'm not even a mlp fan.

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Hannah Crain
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother works on film sets and buys pink tools cause he knows toxic masculinity will keep them from getting stolen.

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Brindle Nutter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband's shop teacher had all pink tools because nobody would steal them. Genius solution for the guy

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Sarah Murphy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My extremely masculine husband often grabs one of my pink tools because they are always in the same place. This despite him owning three garages filled with tools.

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Starfall
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I want to buy these for every man I know, A. Because I know none of them would care if their tools were pink so long as they worked & B. Just because this pissed me off so bad! But I definitely would never buy such cheap & poor quality tools for anyone! Those look like toys!

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Allison B
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean I'd buy pink tools because it's my favorite color but the caption is insulting. 😤

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Pam Derck
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially high testosterone men! No contact needed-- just show them a pink hammer and they'll get so angry they'll have a heart attack

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🦐 Shrimp Whisperer 🦐
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bro why am I imagining this really buff guy who looks like he uses steroids buying this and carrying the cart?

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Wondering Alice
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I asked for a ladies tool set and got this, I would not be happy. Probably quite frustrated too.

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Sandy Parker
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so wrong it's stupid people funny. WHO would think this is OK?

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Joey Wood
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd get these just to keep other guys from stealing my tools.

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T.M.P Janssen
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a oh so much testoerone pumped man I can tell you that the colour of the tool has nothing to do with the quality. Who would have know. My dad got screwdrivers and stuff in violet (because they came in this colour instead of red) and who would have thought... they do their damn job.

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the Return of Bruno
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I suspect the description is an advertiser mocking (not saying he's doing it well) the absurdity of designing a pink, gender-specific tool set.

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Abby
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got my mom a tool set like that for Christmas 1 yr. she loves it.

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Michelle C
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pink was actually historically a color primarily for boys until 100 years ago or so.

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Raven Sheridan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a guy who was so sick of getting his tools stolen by other tradesmen while on site, he started buying pink tools as a replacement. Nobody steals his tools any more! Because these thieves are too "manly" to use pink tools.

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Eb
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The DIY industry is the last bastion of entrenched gender stereotyping in the UK. Nothing is female friendly, and anything marketed specifically for women is always pink. Why can't they just make things suitable for smaller hands?

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Nameless_User
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Strange... pink was really popular with all the 'popular' guys at my old school.

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Deidre Lippnik
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow what a cheap set. Im sorry if i saw a man with a pink pair of bolt cutters...heeeeeeeeeyyyyy

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J
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Alternate take: If I were forced to write copy for something like this, I would pull this stunt to draw attention to the absurdity. It was equally offensive before but oh no we insulted men, now it’s getting attention. Well well well. 🍿

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Lisa H
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to work at Orchard Supply Hardware and at one point, sold a tool kit for women where the hammer was a high heel shoe. And, yes, it was pink. That store doesn't exist anymore.

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Lee Banks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of the toughest guys in my union carries this set for easy jobs. It isn't the best quality, but no one ever steals his tools.

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Janet C
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bought pink tools when I was building koi ponds because other contractors (all men) wouldn't steal them.

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hello Wendy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile, the set that comes in standard black is $8.99 #womantax

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Mika N
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was trying to find a household toolkit (so like a smaller kit so have basic tools handy) on Amazon recently for me or my husband to use and a weirdly large percentage of them are bubblegum pink.

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colin leamon
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1 year ago

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This is funny - I'm sure it's a joke to those so easily offended

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Caleb Su
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1 year ago

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Can't you guys tell this is a joke and a feminist satire?

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It’s hard to avoid encountering the term toxic masculinity these days. But as the person behind the account, who preferred to stay anonymous, told my colleague Rokas in a previous interview, this social media project is not purely about that. The philosophy of the page is to post the takes and let people make their own conclusions. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too," the creator added.

A brief scroll through the list proves that harmful stereotypes about what it means to be a man are abundant in today’s society. But what exactly urges people to share their absurd statements without any second thought? And how can these ideas affect men seeking out their masculine identity?

To gain more insight on the topic from an expert, we reached out to Dr. Jesse Matthews, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA. According to him, ideas about masculinity have become quite polarized in our society.

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"As masculinity has moved away from the 'manly man' or 'tough guy' definitions, many people have not only clung to these stereotypes, but they have made them more extreme," Dr. Matthews told Bored Panda. This usually stems from people rejecting the changing views, and "social media in particular creates echo chambers for this, with various influencers carrying the flags for those who identify with their views."

While we all bear different perspectives on the world around us, masculinity especially can be a very deep rabbit hole with a variety of different viewpoints. But Dr. Matthews raised an important question: why do these ideas matter so much to people?

"Obviously, it’s part of life for any guy or anyone who identifies with masculinity, but the obsession with being a 'real man' is more based in insecurity. The person essentially needs to ensure that they present a masculine enough identity to avoid judgment or being called out as not masculine by other guys," the psychologist explained.

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Men who are insecure about their manliness exhibit behavior that is often exaggerated and even caricature-like. But Dr. Matthews says there’s also irony at play here. "Many of these individuals would tell you that being a real man means just doing your thing and not caring about what anyone thinks about it. However, one can’t simultaneously obsess over portraying an ultramasculine image, yet claim to be unconcerned about judgment. It just doesn’t compute."

Hypermasculinity — or toxic masculinity as it’s usually called — is also based on the false belief that masculinity needs to be saved, Dr. Matthews argued. "In the same way that some people seem to be afraid that racism or homophobia might one day die out. So they embrace stereotypes, or how they think things 'should' be or were in 'the good old days.'"

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, so a man drinking a fruity drink sounds like a great way to filter out super shallow people. Drink up men, the fruity drinks are the best.

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But putting men (half of the world’s population!) in a box can seriously harm their well-being. "It’s limiting at best, and at worst it leads people to play into these stereotypes." For example, hypermasculinity often makes people act in ways "that are sexist or homophobic, or at least not challenging others on this kind of behavior."

"It also has the power to create toxic environments, uncomfortable for women or men viewed as not masculine, and of course to lead to situations involving sexual assault," Dr. Matthews continued. "As well, if these men carry on these thoughts and behaviors through adulthood, they may pass them down to their children or other young people they come into contact with, like kids they are teaching, coaching, and so on."

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), instilling elements of traditional masculinity into men and boys can be psychologically harmful, as it has been shown to limit their development, constrain their behavior, and result in gender role conflict. What’s more, it can negatively influence their mental and physical health.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This screams red flag all over. Anyone under that height is usually underage (with the exception of naturally petite women).

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And men wonder why we women have a tendency to come off as cold, closed-off, and wary with men we dont know. Obviously, even the men we DO think we know can be a danger to us.

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For men who try to seek out their identity and find a healthy relationship with their inner guy, these societal pressures and expectations can be especially burdensome. "It can be hard for people to stand out or to be seen as going against those around them. For example, a male raised in a family or in a community with traditional masculine stereotypes may find it hard to explore or adopt a less stereotyped identity," Dr. Matthews said, adding the person is likely to be criticized, punished, or excluded for it.

Unfortunately, most people who are raised in stereotyped environments tend to internalize those behavior patterns. Psychologist Matthews explained this happens because they don’t know anything else and it feels right to them, or they feel pressure to fit in.

"This can mean demonstrating extreme or toxic masculinity, as not only could one fit in that way, but he could be praised or more highly valued in the group for it." And, alarmingly, "in places like prisons where this applies, it could actually help you to survive."

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only the most insecure men use words like alpha and beta males. Do they not realize how it makes them sound?

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Extreme views like the painfully ridiculous ones featured on 'Hot Masculinity Takes' are rarely a positive thing. But as the modern world now teaches us, the subject matter is much less black-and-white.

"Masculinity is not simply the opposite of femininity, just as it is not synonymous with heterosexuality," Dr. Matthews noted. "Many people today see being masculine as being calm and controlled vs angry and reactive, being a good problem solver rather than one who relies on brute force to solve everything, or standing up for other people or what’s right vs trying to control or overpower others."

What people see as healthy masculinity may differ, but generally, we can all foster it by not judging other people. "This means not being worried about what other men are doing and giving people the space to be themselves," Dr. Matthews added. "We can all do what we want to do and believe what we want to believe. Masculinity isn’t going anywhere, so people don’t need to try to be the protectors of it or to act in stereotyped ways to let people know they exist."

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, yes, let's never stop living with perpetual brutality, chaos, and death.

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Emanual Henry
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

High blood pressure, obesity, high blood sugar, malnutrition, but I can't think of any real reasons.

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Many men in Dr. Matthews’s practice have never gone to therapy before, and some wouldn't even be expected to be found in a psychologist’s office at first glance. But they are sure glad they did. "This idea of what it really means to be a man and the positive and negative ways in which they have lived this is a frequent topic of conversation."

"I would encourage anyone concerned with issues of identity, including ideas about masculinity, to start reflecting on it in some kind of organized way. Don’t just watch videos by your favorite IG or Tik Tok influencers, but start journaling, reading books, or going and seeing a therapist. It really can change your life," Dr. Matthews concluded.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Picturing this guy putting together flat-pack furniture without instructions ('cause those are for girls) and when his shelf turns into a table, he just throws it through the wall. Because bro

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BREAKING NEWS: WORK COLLEAGUES OFTEN ENGAGE AS FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER. MORE ON THIS AT 11.

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Amber.exe (She/They)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say you're insecure about your masculinity without saying you're insecure about your masculinity

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

James Butler is a septic tank guy on TikTok and YouTube who has a 'manly' job, but also decent general advice about being a boss of a company. It's not all dancing and "challenges" on TikTok.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else think that the whole alpha, beta, sigma whatever is just dude bro astrology?

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