Karen Refuses To Contribute To A Gift For Sick Manager, Throws A Fit When She Doesn’t Get Credit For It
Interview
If you work in the office, you are probably very well familiar with chipping in on gifts for colleagues, from birthday to farewell presents, and get-well flowers and cards. But refusing to contribute may come at its own price.
A recent story shared on the Petty Revenge subreddit shed a light on what happens when a workplace fundraising plan goes against the plan. “One of the managers at work was going through some pretty horrific medical issues. He was well liked, so a collection was pretty inevitable,” the author shared.
And while everyone seemed keen and were happy to contribute straight away, one coworker, Linda, didn’t seem eager to chip in. “I made sure that I got everyone’s name who donated, so I could get them to sign the card later on,” the author explained, which revealed that Linda’s name would likely not be in it.
A coworker refused to chip in for the gift to a sick manager, was appalled to find out her name was not on the card
Image credits: Katya Wolf (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: worldworn
In particular situations, you shouldn’t be surprised that you are expected to chip in for workplace gifts and fundraisers
Chipping in for workplace gifts is somewhat of a controversial topic, since there are as many opinions as there are people.
According to Rachel R. Wagner, a licensed corporate etiquette and international protocol consultant, there are particular situations where you should pitch in for an event or gift at work. This includes if the person works in your department, on your team or is in another department, but you’re decently acquainted with them due to work projects.
In another instance, you should donate if there’s a fundraiser for a dire need circumstance — i.e., a house fire. Additionally, if a colleague is raising money for a charitable event, such as a fundraiser walk — i.e., for a cause like Alzheimer’s, you are also expected to contribute.
Image credits: Alexander Grey (not the actual photo)
“Workplace gifts are common, but they can be awkward,” a communication expert says
“Workplace gifts are common, and most people appreciate it when they receive a gift for their birthday, or when they get married, have a baby, or leave the team,” Beth Collier, a communication, creativity, and leadership consultant, told Bored Panda via email.
“But it can also be awkward – and communication is a skill that can help you navigate these situations,” she added. If you are asking for contributions, Beth argues, it’s best to be clear what you are asking for and why. Also, be respectful of others.
Image credits: Israel Andrade (not the actual photo)
“No one should be forced to contribute to a workplace gift”
“Gifts are personal, and you don’t want people to feel pressured to contribute. You can help avoid awkward feelings or pressure by passing around a large envelope or using an online collection pot where the amount people contribute can be private.”
“Declining to contribute can feel uncomfortable, but no one should be forced to contribute to a workplace gift,” Beth said and added that “It’s a gift – not an obligation.”
Moreover, Beth argues that if you’re constantly asking people to contribute, it can have a negative effect. “It’s also important to have some self-awareness: more senior employees shouldn’t expect equal contributions from junior members of staff.”
Image credits: Damir Kopezhanov (not the actual photo)
The author later shared some more information about the situation
Some believe that you shouldn’t be obligated to donate your money to work gifts or events
Jodi R.R. Smith, the owner and president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, argues that no one should feel pressured to donate for an event or a gift at work. Smith argues that “No matter where you are on the company org-chart, what you do with your paycheck is your own business. When someone asks, do not feel pressured into an automatic response.”
Some people believe that if you are on a tight budget and/or on a savings plan, you should also not be expected to pitch in.
If you decide not to chip in, an expert suggests “depersonalizing the matter”
Rob Walker, an author and careers expert, argues that if you decide not to contribute to a work gift, the most important point is “to depersonalize the matter: It’s not about your feelings toward or judgment of the person receiving the gift, it’s a side effect of a strict personal policy.”
“You might even suggest that the company revisit the way it handles such matters, to avoid precisely this sort of needless conflict between personal choices and office mores.”
Other people shared their own experiences, stories, and pieces of advice
However, one person shared this negative comment
This woman should have kept her mouth shut. She has no right to say anything about the gift since she didn't contribute to it. Even if it's because she can't afford it. That being said, I know this will make me seem like a bad person but I'm kind of tired of having to donate. I don't have a lot and this month alone there have been 3 requests. Meanwhile I work from home and don't even see the person who's getting the gift basket. I know I don't have to, but I would like to help where I can. If I'm sick I'd get one whether I contribute or not and I think I'd just feel bad about that. I wish companies would simply stop this practice entirely. Have a petty cash fund for just such occasions. I get maybe this was a case when the person needed a lot more than a gift basket, so people volunteered but it would be nice if the company would chip in, too.
Now, Linda might be too ashamed to admit she’s financially strapped. However, that does not give her the right to try to control anything having to do with the gift, or complain about not being on the card. If she’s “skint” as the British say, she could’ve confided in whoever is in charge of the collection, and I bet they would’ve exempted her from any money contribution, and instead let her do the lion’s share of the organizing work in place of cash, so she could contribute too. These days there’s no shame in being stretched too thin, as so many of us are in that same boat. People understand, and most are more than willing to let you contribute in other ways than money. But it seems Linda didn’t come clean with her reasons for not giving cash, then decided to try and control the gift-giving, and complain that she was excluded from the card. If she’s not presently cash poor, then she’s just cheap, but still wants credit for something she took no part in. I’ve worked with both kinds of people, and have also been the person who became exhausted by the constant calls to give money for birthdays, sick employees, etc, etc, etc (the worst being gifts for upper management, since gifting should trickle down, not up)—-stuff that the f*****g COMPANY should be footing the bill for—-and can see when an office just reaches a bridge too far with their calls for employees to give up chunks of their hard earned and way too small salaries for the multitude of events and causes that they shouldn’t have to pay for.
Even if it was just that she didn't want to contribute she could have done the adult thing and simply ASKED "hey, is it okay if I still sign the card?". Most people would just say "yeah sure".
Load More Replies...
If you don't want to give gift of money then why would you care about your name being on the card?
I feel like it's to have the appearance that you care and are part of the team even when you don't want to contribute to anything.
Load More Replies... This woman should have kept her mouth shut. She has no right to say anything about the gift since she didn't contribute to it. Even if it's because she can't afford it. That being said, I know this will make me seem like a bad person but I'm kind of tired of having to donate. I don't have a lot and this month alone there have been 3 requests. Meanwhile I work from home and don't even see the person who's getting the gift basket. I know I don't have to, but I would like to help where I can. If I'm sick I'd get one whether I contribute or not and I think I'd just feel bad about that. I wish companies would simply stop this practice entirely. Have a petty cash fund for just such occasions. I get maybe this was a case when the person needed a lot more than a gift basket, so people volunteered but it would be nice if the company would chip in, too.
Now, Linda might be too ashamed to admit she’s financially strapped. However, that does not give her the right to try to control anything having to do with the gift, or complain about not being on the card. If she’s “skint” as the British say, she could’ve confided in whoever is in charge of the collection, and I bet they would’ve exempted her from any money contribution, and instead let her do the lion’s share of the organizing work in place of cash, so she could contribute too. These days there’s no shame in being stretched too thin, as so many of us are in that same boat. People understand, and most are more than willing to let you contribute in other ways than money. But it seems Linda didn’t come clean with her reasons for not giving cash, then decided to try and control the gift-giving, and complain that she was excluded from the card. If she’s not presently cash poor, then she’s just cheap, but still wants credit for something she took no part in. I’ve worked with both kinds of people, and have also been the person who became exhausted by the constant calls to give money for birthdays, sick employees, etc, etc, etc (the worst being gifts for upper management, since gifting should trickle down, not up)—-stuff that the f*****g COMPANY should be footing the bill for—-and can see when an office just reaches a bridge too far with their calls for employees to give up chunks of their hard earned and way too small salaries for the multitude of events and causes that they shouldn’t have to pay for.
Even if it was just that she didn't want to contribute she could have done the adult thing and simply ASKED "hey, is it okay if I still sign the card?". Most people would just say "yeah sure".
Load More Replies... If you don't want to give gift of money then why would you care about your name being on the card?
I feel like it's to have the appearance that you care and are part of the team even when you don't want to contribute to anything.
Load More Replies...
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