“We’ve Spent Close To $2,000 On All The Materials”: Relatives Invoice Bride After Finding Out They Weren’t Invited To The Wedding
It’s no secret that having a wedding is expensive. In the United States, the average cost of tying the knot in 2021 was $28,000, plus an additional $6,000 if you include the engagement ring. Of course, there is no real need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on your special day, but the charges can add up quickly, especially if you’re inviting many guests.
If a couple is strategic, they might be able to receive free or discounted services from some of their friends, in lieu of traditional wedding gifts. But the assumption is that if someone is providing a service or bending over backwards for your wedding, the least they can get in return is an invitation.
One frustrated business owner recently shared on Reddit that him and his wife’s generosity came back to bite them after they didn’t receive an invitation to a family member’s wedding. Below, you can read the full story of how the couple spent thousands of dollars on materials for the occasion, as well as an interview we were lucky enough to receive from Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation or how you would react if a relative used you in this way. Then, if you’re looking for another Bored Panda article featuring family drama after someone was not invited to a wedding, look no further than right here!
After being shocked to find out they weren’t invited, this couple decided to invoice the bride for all of the money they spent on materials for her wedding
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Leeloo Thefirst (not the actual photo)
Image credits: BallsackJuicer
Later, the business owner filled in additional details and responded to several readers
It’s completely understandable for a couple to try to spend as little as possible on their wedding ceremony and reception. Very few of us can spend without a care in the world, and if you have friends or family members who can be resources, why not ask them if they’d be willing to help out? But planning a wedding does not mean you can throw social etiquette out the window or have the right to treat your friends and family members poorly.
To gain some insight on this topic, we reached out to Jessica Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride. “If you’re asking someone you know and care about to give their time, effort, and energy to you for free or at a discounted rate for your wedding, it would be considered rude not to invite them to the celebration,” Jessica told Bored Panda. “Just imagine how you’d feel if you were on the receiving end of that type of exchange. It doesn’t feel good. Put yourself in their shoes before you ask for a favor.”
We were also curious what Jessica’s thoughts were on what exactly is appropriate to ask for from a friend or family member for your wedding. “When it comes to asking for favors for your wedding, the line of how much is too much is nuanced and likely dependent upon your relationship with the person you’re asking for help,” she explained.
“Consider the value of the time and effort required, as well as the hard costs of whatever service or product they are providing. If the value of that item is higher than you’d feel comfortable receiving from them as a gift in cash, it might be too much.” That’s a great rule of thumb. And considering that guests spend about $150 on wedding gifts on average, this couple went way above and beyond with their generosity.
Jessica also believes that, in this case, the couple is justified for billing the bride and groom. “The [soon to be married] couple left them under the assumption that they were invited, which isn’t very courteous or respectful,” she explained. “Since they didn’t proactively communicate the changes to their guest list, it’s understandable that the printers may feel hurt and taken advantage of. I think it’s totally fair to at least charge the hard costs of the work under the circumstances, as the work was done under the assumption that they would be joining in on the celebration.”
Finally, when it comes to wedding etiquette, Jessica says, “Don’t be a jerk! If you are asking for certain items from family or friends in lieu of a gift for the wedding, it can be assumed that the individual has skill in that area, whether as a professional or a hobbyist. Value their time and effort as such!” If you’d like to hear more insight from Jessica or learn some money-saving tips for weddings, be sure to visit The Budget Savvy Bride right here.
We would love to hear your thoughts down below, too, pandas. Have you ever provided a free service as a wedding gift? And how would you respond in this couple’s situation? Let us know what you think, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article following family drama around wedding invitations, look no further than right here!
Readers have unanimously agreed that the couple was justified in charging the bride and groom
Jeezus how can you not invite your own cousin who has done all that for you for free? And then act all surprised and nasty when their feelings are hurt and they then charge you? What do people like this expect? The only people who have ruined the wedding is the greedy a*s bride and groom.
They expect the world to bend over backwards to accommodate them - they are the centre of the universe because it's their special day (for extra fun, watch what happens to one of these couples when they discover that other people *dare* to have a birthday or (even worse) their own anniversary on THEIR SPECIAL DAY). it's never clear if these people are selfish AHs in other parts of their lives, but for some reason weddings bring out the worst in them.
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We had a friend make our wedding cake, and we still paid him something like $100 or $200 to cover materials and stuff (it wasn't a huge cake, but it was tiered, and nicely decorated.) He wasn't a professional baker or anything, but we insisted on paying him something!
SIL made our cake and it was going to be a gift, when she realized the cost she asked my mom to pay for a portion of it
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NTA though I would suggest setting boundaries earlier about costs. They said when they usually do this it's $2-300 worth of materials. As soon as they reached that cost, there should have been a discussion about paying for more changes. When your friend or family owns a business, paying them for their services is a great way to show support. Going to them for a handout is selfish.
Yeah, a lot of people don't realize how much small changes can cost. The bride and groom may not have realized how much they were costing them. Which doesn't excuse them not inviting them to wedding, either. ...Actually, come to think of it, the bride has a wedding planner. So the wedding planner DEFINITELY would or at least should know how much that kind of thing costs! So nvm yeah bride's def the one in the wrong here. (I would love to know the wedding planner's view of events...)
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These articles always end with “and now we are getting calls and texts from all their family and friends telling us x”. Who are these busybodies?? I’d never go around calling someone regarding an issue I wasn’t directly involved with - it’s SO odd. Also these folks are NTA, clearly.
Look up the term "flying monkeys" - it might seem odd to those who happily never dealt with the phenomenon but unfortunately you can see it's pretty common. :/
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They downsized the wedding, but still have a wedding planner? Seems BS to me. I also work as a photographer, but not an events one, so I took pics for my close family and friends not being asked to. But when someone aproaches me with the "You´re invited, just bring your big camera and take all the pictures" line, I decline right there, and also move the person (or persons) from the family or friends´list to the acquaintances´ one...
Call the police. Not that there's anything they can do right now. But describe the background and the threatening calls, and say that you fear harassment, assault, and a possible break-in to obtain the wedding material. Give them the names of everyone involved, especially those groomsmen. If something does actually happen, the cops will come in knowing the full picture already. They tend to do more for you when that happens. And tell everyone who contacts you from then on that you have informed the police and have named names.
If a stranger were to threaten us for free work, we would likely call the cops. When family does it, we wonder if we're @ssholes. NTA, OP. I think you and wife have been far too generous. Save the threatening messages in case you need legal protection.
I would say that the OP and wife should cut those people out of their lives. Block whoever is bothering them. Life is too short for toxic people.
They can afford a wedding planner but not to invite other people to the wedding? UGH. Some people have their priorities out of whack.
Anyone who was truly "downsizing" wouldn't afford or need a wedding planner
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How are this bride and groom not embarrassed?! If a family member did something like this for me I would be offering them my services for a while like free babysitting. I absolutely insist on paying my family for their help, especially if it’s something relating to the business they own. Heck I paid my sister for helping me make a piñata for my son’s birthday. She refused so I bought her dinner instead.
NTA.. How dare. We also using service from one of my wife relative on our special day. But we paying, albeit in a generous discount.
A now former friend that got married didn't invite several close friends due to lack of space or whatever but still sent them the info to her gift registry because the invited guests didn't buy her everything she wanted.. Needless to say, they were offended and didn't buy her a gift.
Call the groom and tell him he has a 6 hours window to stop any further threat from the family. Any threat received after, and all the material will be destroyed. Ah, and charge them full price. For their behavior after insulting them in many occasions.
Don't destroy for real. Let them believe it, though. Keep stuff as demos of your work to show future customers your abilities. Make lemonade from your lemons!
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NTA. This cousin acting like a victim when she's the bad guy is just pathetic, and the family /husband/friends who are threatening OP and his wife are too. I hope a bird s**t on the cousin and her husband.
NTA. This is totally on the cousin & seeing that she's willing to die on this hill displays how she really regards OP. I had a vacay rental & learned to either gift stays or charge regular price when it came ta fam & friends. The policy saved us yrs of gratuitous drama..Cuz was shortsighted, tacky, & rude- I'd keep her & her hubs @ arm's length.
My parents owned a coffee business that supplied the coffee for all of my (many, I'm Italian) cousins' ginormous weddings at zero charge, even factoring cost of the green coffee beans, the time it took for my dad to roast the coffee and package it, everything- all for free. It was excellent, single origin, Fair Trade coffee that retails for about $16 a pound- so enough for several weddings, hundreds of people...you do the math. They were happy to do it because that's what you do for your family. If they'd not been invited to one of these weddings, they would have been crushed, and also felt totally used. Its not even the money (it may be for a small business) but the principle. You do things because you care, but the other half of that social contract is to not take advantage of someone's generosity. These folks are wonderful, kind people and absolutely NOT THE AHOLE
Unbelievable, definitely not the a**hole but definitely they were dealing with a**holes. To expect a 2K wedding gift from family or anyone not invited to your wedding is major a**hole behavior.
I feel guilty when I ask the optician at Pearle Vision to redo lenses that are off a little, and it's not costing that person a red cent. If they were able to communicate multiple changes they were able to communicate the change of venue and invitation list.
The very first communication after the downsizing should have been that they weren't invited! They're family, they're providing a free service in lieu of a gift. They've earned an invite & a free plate of food & slice of cake. That's before all the changes & additions.
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I once subbed as a photographer for my little sister's wedding when the one they'd hired bailed on them at the last minute. So I took the photos, essentially abandoning my wedding date who came with me (he was gracious enough to stick around for the reception). The pictures came out nice, and the couple were appreciative...but not enough to pay me! Needless to say, the marriage fizzled out after 10 years and three daughters. The next time I did it was for a cousin of a husband of another sister. Everything came out beautifully, and the couple were happy with my work...and paid me $300 cash money!!
At this point you are not family but a service provider. Add some overhead to that 2K and issue the invoice. And that's that.
NTA It was very generous of you and your wife to only require or more likely expect an invitation to the wedding,it is too bad your kind hearts got the better of you. $2000.00 is a lot of money.And has far exceeded any wedding gift I have ever given. It really should have been mentioned at least to the wedding planner when yet more changes were made. As far as the groomsmen go if they want to get involved they should help pay the bill. Other than that that is not their job.
Has the wedding happened? Did they pay? You all a definitely NOT THE A*****E. Family reunions might be awkward but who cares. They did not treat you like friends OR family.
Even if someone was close family or a friend, I would offer to pay the full price. If they wanted to give me a discount, that would be great. NTA!
Our whole wedding didn't cost $2000! A friend made the maid of honor dress, the bridesmaid dress and the cake. She had the exact flowers I wanted from a birthday cake she made in the freezer. She was going to do it for free but I insisted I pay her and we invited the family to the wedding. LIFE-SIZED cut outs?!? Oh brother how stupid. Record the threats and report those idiots.
People expect stuff for free because they're related. I used to do IT support, which meant I was the family's free tech support. Then I started asking each person if the thing was on, then asked "are you sure?" They eventually caught on. Sometimes I told them my price was $150/hr, 4 hour minimum. THAT worked.
Don't deliver the goods until the check clears the bank. These people tried to screw you once and will to do it again. And if you're willing to do some checking around you can probably find out when they booked the wedding venue. Odds are they had the 'downsized' space booked from get-go.
My husband and I got married in a field behind his sister's motel (much nicer than it sounds.) She let us use a room to get dressed in. My son's archery coach who went to high-school with my husband officiated. One of his best friend's wives has a fancy camera and took pictures. We paid them all, and gave them a small gift, because we are not horrible, horrible people.
Years ago I had a friend who got her cake for free - then didn’t invite the professional bakers who made it 😡 I was the maid of honor and I begged her to invite them. They had known her all her life and it wasn’t going to affect costs so much to add in two more people. I felt so bad when the guy dropped off the cake at the reception himself, in his bakers clothing. He looked so sad…
Remember what the disgruntled Disney ArtiSt did to the caStle on tHe cOver of the LittlE Mermaid VHS tape? He made a penis in one of the castles. Put "a**holes somewhere in their invites in bold lettering spaces out, like i did here. They only considered you family when your printer was running for them. Family always screws you first and the hardest. $5 says they dont make it to 5 years.
NTA, but learn how to say "heyyy so this is getting too expensive" instead of letting someone bulldoze an unspoken boundary and then getting hurt by the cost later.
Just curious if they ever paid? And why weren't they expecting to pay? Was there any discussion about no cost? They definitely were never going to invite you? And are they low income and cant afford to have a bigger wedding or just being cheap?
Finances are always a touchy subject. My family paid for my husband’s & my wedding. I thought this was reasonable considering his whole family had to travel long distances to just get to our wedding. My whole family, including first cousins, all basically live in the same town we had our wedding. I have a large family, while my husband’s is smaller. Gifts were not expected as we were just happy to have everyone together celebrating with us.
I agree with these comments, but is there any contract with them. Verbal can count. They might try to sue for pain and suffering. Delivering the goods and taking them to small claims court might be safer.That marriage is doomed.
When you did similar services for your friends' weddings and events in the past, did they always invite you to their weddings and events? When you agreed to do the banners, signage, life cutouts, etc. for your wife's cousin, did you specify that you expect to be invited to the wedding?
I hear where you’re going with your questions, but common decency requires one to either pay for a person’s services or AT LEAST invite a family member who offers their services. While I think the OP probably should’ve set a monetary limit far below $2k and at the first request of an edit, told them their generosity has a limit, the OPs sound like extremely generous people, eager to help family members. But, really, the bride and groom were clearly taking advantage of their generosity. They should’ve either paid them or treated them like family and invited them to the wedding. Honestly, for $2k in services, they should’ve invited them AND offered to pay the OP for at least part of their services. In the end, they were extremely rude and entitled and there’s no excuse for that. NTA.
Load More Replies... Just tell the wedding planner or the couple everything you have contracted to provide will be at the wedding. Obviously since there is no contract, nothing will need to be delivered. When somebody wants to sign a contract for whatever y'all agree to, Then worry about delivering a product. As to people speaking of a wedding planner; I'm pretty sure there is a contract there so the couple might as well utilize the services they will be paying for.
Sounds like they didn't want the attention of your products to take away from their day. Good riddance to freebie scavengers
You were close enough relatives for them to hit you up for free services rendered, but not an invitation to their wedding, personally, if it were me, I would burn every single thing I had made for them, and just simply consider it a hard lesson learned. You are NTA
You and your wife were close enough family members that the bride took advantage of the two of you, personally I would burn everything I made for them, and consider it a hard lesson learned.
I wonder how this turned out. Does anyone know? And totally NTA
There are no updates on Reddit. It was posted a month ago.
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I hate when they add getting threatening calls from people they don't know to all these post, like dude if you don't know them why you even try and explain yourself just tell them to f**k off and hang up, and you are both the a******s them for thinking this was free you for not being up front that this wasn't free
OP Not the ahole! Initially, it WAS free in return for a wedding invite. The downsizing & everything after is where the problems started. The bride tried to stiff them on their friendship. Uncool.
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Everyone knows that if you ask for a favor like that then they should be invited. That's their wedding gift, and no one who isn't invited owes anyone a wedding gift. This is basic wedding etiquette.
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Do you always insert information you made up to prove a point you also just made up?
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Jeezus how can you not invite your own cousin who has done all that for you for free? And then act all surprised and nasty when their feelings are hurt and they then charge you? What do people like this expect? The only people who have ruined the wedding is the greedy a*s bride and groom.
They expect the world to bend over backwards to accommodate them - they are the centre of the universe because it's their special day (for extra fun, watch what happens to one of these couples when they discover that other people *dare* to have a birthday or (even worse) their own anniversary on THEIR SPECIAL DAY). it's never clear if these people are selfish AHs in other parts of their lives, but for some reason weddings bring out the worst in them.
Load More Replies... We had a friend make our wedding cake, and we still paid him something like $100 or $200 to cover materials and stuff (it wasn't a huge cake, but it was tiered, and nicely decorated.) He wasn't a professional baker or anything, but we insisted on paying him something!
SIL made our cake and it was going to be a gift, when she realized the cost she asked my mom to pay for a portion of it
Load More Replies... NTA though I would suggest setting boundaries earlier about costs. They said when they usually do this it's $2-300 worth of materials. As soon as they reached that cost, there should have been a discussion about paying for more changes. When your friend or family owns a business, paying them for their services is a great way to show support. Going to them for a handout is selfish.
Yeah, a lot of people don't realize how much small changes can cost. The bride and groom may not have realized how much they were costing them. Which doesn't excuse them not inviting them to wedding, either. ...Actually, come to think of it, the bride has a wedding planner. So the wedding planner DEFINITELY would or at least should know how much that kind of thing costs! So nvm yeah bride's def the one in the wrong here. (I would love to know the wedding planner's view of events...)
Load More Replies... These articles always end with “and now we are getting calls and texts from all their family and friends telling us x”. Who are these busybodies?? I’d never go around calling someone regarding an issue I wasn’t directly involved with - it’s SO odd. Also these folks are NTA, clearly.
Look up the term "flying monkeys" - it might seem odd to those who happily never dealt with the phenomenon but unfortunately you can see it's pretty common. :/
Load More Replies... They downsized the wedding, but still have a wedding planner? Seems BS to me. I also work as a photographer, but not an events one, so I took pics for my close family and friends not being asked to. But when someone aproaches me with the "You´re invited, just bring your big camera and take all the pictures" line, I decline right there, and also move the person (or persons) from the family or friends´list to the acquaintances´ one...
Call the police. Not that there's anything they can do right now. But describe the background and the threatening calls, and say that you fear harassment, assault, and a possible break-in to obtain the wedding material. Give them the names of everyone involved, especially those groomsmen. If something does actually happen, the cops will come in knowing the full picture already. They tend to do more for you when that happens. And tell everyone who contacts you from then on that you have informed the police and have named names.
If a stranger were to threaten us for free work, we would likely call the cops. When family does it, we wonder if we're @ssholes. NTA, OP. I think you and wife have been far too generous. Save the threatening messages in case you need legal protection.
I would say that the OP and wife should cut those people out of their lives. Block whoever is bothering them. Life is too short for toxic people.
They can afford a wedding planner but not to invite other people to the wedding? UGH. Some people have their priorities out of whack.
Anyone who was truly "downsizing" wouldn't afford or need a wedding planner
Load More Replies... How are this bride and groom not embarrassed?! If a family member did something like this for me I would be offering them my services for a while like free babysitting. I absolutely insist on paying my family for their help, especially if it’s something relating to the business they own. Heck I paid my sister for helping me make a piñata for my son’s birthday. She refused so I bought her dinner instead.
NTA.. How dare. We also using service from one of my wife relative on our special day. But we paying, albeit in a generous discount.
A now former friend that got married didn't invite several close friends due to lack of space or whatever but still sent them the info to her gift registry because the invited guests didn't buy her everything she wanted.. Needless to say, they were offended and didn't buy her a gift.
Call the groom and tell him he has a 6 hours window to stop any further threat from the family. Any threat received after, and all the material will be destroyed. Ah, and charge them full price. For their behavior after insulting them in many occasions.
Don't destroy for real. Let them believe it, though. Keep stuff as demos of your work to show future customers your abilities. Make lemonade from your lemons!
Load More Replies... NTA. This cousin acting like a victim when she's the bad guy is just pathetic, and the family /husband/friends who are threatening OP and his wife are too. I hope a bird s**t on the cousin and her husband.
NTA. This is totally on the cousin & seeing that she's willing to die on this hill displays how she really regards OP. I had a vacay rental & learned to either gift stays or charge regular price when it came ta fam & friends. The policy saved us yrs of gratuitous drama..Cuz was shortsighted, tacky, & rude- I'd keep her & her hubs @ arm's length.
My parents owned a coffee business that supplied the coffee for all of my (many, I'm Italian) cousins' ginormous weddings at zero charge, even factoring cost of the green coffee beans, the time it took for my dad to roast the coffee and package it, everything- all for free. It was excellent, single origin, Fair Trade coffee that retails for about $16 a pound- so enough for several weddings, hundreds of people...you do the math. They were happy to do it because that's what you do for your family. If they'd not been invited to one of these weddings, they would have been crushed, and also felt totally used. Its not even the money (it may be for a small business) but the principle. You do things because you care, but the other half of that social contract is to not take advantage of someone's generosity. These folks are wonderful, kind people and absolutely NOT THE AHOLE
Unbelievable, definitely not the a**hole but definitely they were dealing with a**holes. To expect a 2K wedding gift from family or anyone not invited to your wedding is major a**hole behavior.
I feel guilty when I ask the optician at Pearle Vision to redo lenses that are off a little, and it's not costing that person a red cent. If they were able to communicate multiple changes they were able to communicate the change of venue and invitation list.
The very first communication after the downsizing should have been that they weren't invited! They're family, they're providing a free service in lieu of a gift. They've earned an invite & a free plate of food & slice of cake. That's before all the changes & additions.
Load More Replies... I once subbed as a photographer for my little sister's wedding when the one they'd hired bailed on them at the last minute. So I took the photos, essentially abandoning my wedding date who came with me (he was gracious enough to stick around for the reception). The pictures came out nice, and the couple were appreciative...but not enough to pay me! Needless to say, the marriage fizzled out after 10 years and three daughters. The next time I did it was for a cousin of a husband of another sister. Everything came out beautifully, and the couple were happy with my work...and paid me $300 cash money!!
At this point you are not family but a service provider. Add some overhead to that 2K and issue the invoice. And that's that.
NTA It was very generous of you and your wife to only require or more likely expect an invitation to the wedding,it is too bad your kind hearts got the better of you. $2000.00 is a lot of money.And has far exceeded any wedding gift I have ever given. It really should have been mentioned at least to the wedding planner when yet more changes were made. As far as the groomsmen go if they want to get involved they should help pay the bill. Other than that that is not their job.
Has the wedding happened? Did they pay? You all a definitely NOT THE A*****E. Family reunions might be awkward but who cares. They did not treat you like friends OR family.
Even if someone was close family or a friend, I would offer to pay the full price. If they wanted to give me a discount, that would be great. NTA!
Our whole wedding didn't cost $2000! A friend made the maid of honor dress, the bridesmaid dress and the cake. She had the exact flowers I wanted from a birthday cake she made in the freezer. She was going to do it for free but I insisted I pay her and we invited the family to the wedding. LIFE-SIZED cut outs?!? Oh brother how stupid. Record the threats and report those idiots.
People expect stuff for free because they're related. I used to do IT support, which meant I was the family's free tech support. Then I started asking each person if the thing was on, then asked "are you sure?" They eventually caught on. Sometimes I told them my price was $150/hr, 4 hour minimum. THAT worked.
Don't deliver the goods until the check clears the bank. These people tried to screw you once and will to do it again. And if you're willing to do some checking around you can probably find out when they booked the wedding venue. Odds are they had the 'downsized' space booked from get-go.
My husband and I got married in a field behind his sister's motel (much nicer than it sounds.) She let us use a room to get dressed in. My son's archery coach who went to high-school with my husband officiated. One of his best friend's wives has a fancy camera and took pictures. We paid them all, and gave them a small gift, because we are not horrible, horrible people.
Years ago I had a friend who got her cake for free - then didn’t invite the professional bakers who made it 😡 I was the maid of honor and I begged her to invite them. They had known her all her life and it wasn’t going to affect costs so much to add in two more people. I felt so bad when the guy dropped off the cake at the reception himself, in his bakers clothing. He looked so sad…
Remember what the disgruntled Disney ArtiSt did to the caStle on tHe cOver of the LittlE Mermaid VHS tape? He made a penis in one of the castles. Put "a**holes somewhere in their invites in bold lettering spaces out, like i did here. They only considered you family when your printer was running for them. Family always screws you first and the hardest. $5 says they dont make it to 5 years.
NTA, but learn how to say "heyyy so this is getting too expensive" instead of letting someone bulldoze an unspoken boundary and then getting hurt by the cost later.
Just curious if they ever paid? And why weren't they expecting to pay? Was there any discussion about no cost? They definitely were never going to invite you? And are they low income and cant afford to have a bigger wedding or just being cheap?
Finances are always a touchy subject. My family paid for my husband’s & my wedding. I thought this was reasonable considering his whole family had to travel long distances to just get to our wedding. My whole family, including first cousins, all basically live in the same town we had our wedding. I have a large family, while my husband’s is smaller. Gifts were not expected as we were just happy to have everyone together celebrating with us.
I agree with these comments, but is there any contract with them. Verbal can count. They might try to sue for pain and suffering. Delivering the goods and taking them to small claims court might be safer.That marriage is doomed.
When you did similar services for your friends' weddings and events in the past, did they always invite you to their weddings and events? When you agreed to do the banners, signage, life cutouts, etc. for your wife's cousin, did you specify that you expect to be invited to the wedding?
I hear where you’re going with your questions, but common decency requires one to either pay for a person’s services or AT LEAST invite a family member who offers their services. While I think the OP probably should’ve set a monetary limit far below $2k and at the first request of an edit, told them their generosity has a limit, the OPs sound like extremely generous people, eager to help family members. But, really, the bride and groom were clearly taking advantage of their generosity. They should’ve either paid them or treated them like family and invited them to the wedding. Honestly, for $2k in services, they should’ve invited them AND offered to pay the OP for at least part of their services. In the end, they were extremely rude and entitled and there’s no excuse for that. NTA.
Load More Replies... Just tell the wedding planner or the couple everything you have contracted to provide will be at the wedding. Obviously since there is no contract, nothing will need to be delivered. When somebody wants to sign a contract for whatever y'all agree to, Then worry about delivering a product. As to people speaking of a wedding planner; I'm pretty sure there is a contract there so the couple might as well utilize the services they will be paying for.
Sounds like they didn't want the attention of your products to take away from their day. Good riddance to freebie scavengers
You were close enough relatives for them to hit you up for free services rendered, but not an invitation to their wedding, personally, if it were me, I would burn every single thing I had made for them, and just simply consider it a hard lesson learned. You are NTA
You and your wife were close enough family members that the bride took advantage of the two of you, personally I would burn everything I made for them, and consider it a hard lesson learned.
I wonder how this turned out. Does anyone know? And totally NTA
There are no updates on Reddit. It was posted a month ago.
Load More Replies... I hate when they add getting threatening calls from people they don't know to all these post, like dude if you don't know them why you even try and explain yourself just tell them to f**k off and hang up, and you are both the a******s them for thinking this was free you for not being up front that this wasn't free
OP Not the ahole! Initially, it WAS free in return for a wedding invite. The downsizing & everything after is where the problems started. The bride tried to stiff them on their friendship. Uncool.
Load More Replies... Everyone knows that if you ask for a favor like that then they should be invited. That's their wedding gift, and no one who isn't invited owes anyone a wedding gift. This is basic wedding etiquette.
Load More Replies... Do you always insert information you made up to prove a point you also just made up?
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