“Me And My Girlfriend Were Robbed And How She Acted During Makes Me Want To Dump Her”
Just two days ago, Redditor Innundatedwithbros took it to the True Off My Chest subreddit to share a burden he’s been carrying about a scary incident he got into with his girlfriend.
“Two weeks ago me and my girlfriend were walking home while a little drunk after a party and we were robbed at gunpoint by an armed mugger,” the author wrote.
“The guy stopped us, pulled out his firearm and told us to give him our stuff,” he recounted and added “I immediately gave him my wallet and phone.”
Meanwhile, the author’s girlfriend was far from willing to give up her possessions to the armed thug and she decided it was a good moment to fight for what belonged to her. As you may suspect, the Redditor was far from impressed and the whole thing made him wonder if there’s even a future for him and her.
The man believes that the fact that his girlfriend argued with an armed thief in a potentially life-threatening situation is a wake-up call about their future together
Image credits: Trap Gang (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Godisable Jacob (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
The author shared some more information about the incident in response to these comments
And this is how people reacted
I agree with the commenter who said it was a fight or flight response. If you have no experience or training to fall back on, it's kind of unpredictable what your brain is going to do in a moment like that. I wouldn't judge somebody for that. But after the chemicals settle down, reason should reassert itself. If you can't have a rational conversation at that point and admit that you messed up in the moment of danger, then there's a problem.
To an extent, the first few seconds... after that your brain is absolutely capable of taking over. So the "fight or flight" is not an excuse/explanation for going on argueing with your partner and robber! You are human, you are capable of thinking. EDIT: And definitely agree with your second half --- afterwards discuss it, read up on it, and learn! There's also a cultural factor, in the USA there's guns everywhere but in other countries they can be rare... I had a friend who got mugged at gunpoint and confidently concluded it must be either unloaded or a replica, so basically just a short heavy stick, and totally trashed his robber. Then the police got really upset at him and showed it was a working, loaded revolver... Guy got violently sick realising he did the equivalent of Russian Roulette with three bullets instead of one.
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Apart from flight or fight response, one thing which is ignored here - she's drunk. Both are drunk, but this danger would have shook away drunkness in him but her may be not? As a drunk woman, she probably thought "How dare he demand my purse and belongings?" Drunk or not, just hand it over. Life is precious than those possessions!
I live in New Orleans. This is why I carry a decoy wallet & an old s****y iPhone that doesn't work or unlock. Turns on. But it won't unlock no matter how correct the password is. So I keep those on me & when I'm out walking around I keep a smaller wallet & my real cell phone in my bra. I also put all sorts of fake money & fake cards in the wallet & a mclovin ID! Lol. I put notes on the very real looking money that says "GOTCHU B***H! Get a job!" & some knock knock jokes. Just to be an extra big d**k. I got robbed once before & I didn't have my phone on me at the time (it was at the repair shop I was walking from) Luckily. But I did have all my credit cards & my ID. so it was a pain to have to replace them all. They weren't able to steal any money since I canceled all the cards before they could. But the NOLA OMV takes a minimum of like 10 hours. So getting a new id sucked. That's what prompted my decoy idea. Gotta be smarter than the criminals.
It's interesting that when I suggest decoy wallets etc. I'm often mocked or downvoted, but as you said... it's easier than the alternative! I love to "weight" mine with blank metal discs and expired cards of various kinds so it looks more "legit". Then they get $5US and I'm loooong gone.
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Sephvion's answer is correct. If they ask for your stuff, hand it over. They just want your stuff. They don't want to kill you. They are willing to risk a few years in jail but not life. If they ask you to get into a car or go somewhere else, they want to kill you. Fight for your life then.
I don't think fight or flight happened here because of her reaction afterwards. I have attacked in a very dangerous situation before and when all was said and done I knew how stupid I was and I could not explain my actions logically. Her being upset at her partner after, means she really thinks he should have done something and does not have an appropriate understanding of danger or respect for him. Luckily no one was hurt, and he learned a valuable lesson about the person he is with.
Best advise I got was don't hand it to them. Throw it away and run the other direction, if possible.
NOOOO don't do this. You don't know how the robber is going to react to this. They might get mad and make the situation worse. They want what you have, that's their goal and if it doesn't go the way they planned they might become unpredictable. Just give them your stuff :(
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The example of the guy whose girlfriend wanted him to get into a fight with 8 guys is also good. The old "honor", "saving face" things are mostly stupid and not worth the damage. I'm also not a fan of women who pick fights and talk c**p and then want their bf/spouse to defend them.
It's interesting but in the Arizona concealed carry classes they talk about when to use your weapon. One of the things that's brought up is whether your would really want to kill someone over stuff that can be replaced or a small amount of money? Well, you really don't want to end up getting killed over stuff that can be replaced and a small amount of money. Where I really have to grit my teeth is the hassle of replacing cards/phone etc... but it's still less of a hassle than being dead or hospitalized.
As a woman, y concern would be my drivers license showing my address, and now the mugger knows where I live. I like Kennedy Kargaux’s comment where she says she carries a decoy wallet and broken phone to give a mugger. I just wouldn’t have an ID, even a fake one, that has my real address on it. To get revenge on anyone with the gall to rob me, I’d put the street address of my local police station on all my fake IDs.
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Yep, arguing with a guy with a gun sounds like the dumbest thing possible. Give them what they want. Stuff can be replaced.
We all have tiems we panic. Even if we're trained for a situation. The problem here, to me, is that she expected him to "save" them. You're held at gunpoint. The correct answer to "Gimme your purse!" is always "yes". You can cancel yoru cards, replace your wallet, etc., but you cannot undo short-range bullet wounds as easily as that! EDITED: Please donb't assume you'll kick the bad guy's butt after he bends down to get the goodies. Drop 'em and back up a few steps, and the moment his eyes are off you, *run*.
The real problem is that she hasn't learnt from it. Once out of the dangerous situation she doubled down by being mad at her bf who probably just saved her life. Panicking and doing dumb s**t when you're in danger is one thing. Refusing to admit it was dumb s**t once you have time to think is worse.
Load More Replies... Don’t blame the guy for wanting to leave. I just don’t understand how anyone could be in that situation, drunk or not, and your first thought isn’t protecting your loved one and yourself. I usually tend to have a freeze response in bad situations like that and the only thing that’s ever been able to overcome it is when I’m with my friend or bf and my mind becomes solely focused on getting them to safety
My brother was accosted by a man with a knife, demanding his wallet and watch back in the late 80's. He faced him down and came home uninjured... and told me it was the stupidest thing he'd done in his life. He had a new born son and a wife waiting for him at home and they might have been left without a father and husband because of a decision he made without any conscious thought. You need to think over what you're going to do in such a situation in advance, because your logical brain will be absolutely absent when it is actually happening.
If her response is to put your life in danger, you need to be saying goodbye. I wouldn't want future children put at risk due to stupidity.
All these comments are so American. Looks like it's normal you can run into someone who wants to rob you with a gun.
I'd probably think: you can have my phone and money but can I reset my phone to factory settings first please? and hope everything is backed up in the cloud. And if I'd have a wallet: could I please keep my wallet / the pictures of my kids? (Likelyhood of getting robbed at gunpoint is very low here) I don't know what I'd do in an actual situation. I think I'd freeze.
I agree with the commenter who said it was a fight or flight response. If you have no experience or training to fall back on, it's kind of unpredictable what your brain is going to do in a moment like that. I wouldn't judge somebody for that. But after the chemicals settle down, reason should reassert itself. If you can't have a rational conversation at that point and admit that you messed up in the moment of danger, then there's a problem.
To an extent, the first few seconds... after that your brain is absolutely capable of taking over. So the "fight or flight" is not an excuse/explanation for going on argueing with your partner and robber! You are human, you are capable of thinking. EDIT: And definitely agree with your second half --- afterwards discuss it, read up on it, and learn! There's also a cultural factor, in the USA there's guns everywhere but in other countries they can be rare... I had a friend who got mugged at gunpoint and confidently concluded it must be either unloaded or a replica, so basically just a short heavy stick, and totally trashed his robber. Then the police got really upset at him and showed it was a working, loaded revolver... Guy got violently sick realising he did the equivalent of Russian Roulette with three bullets instead of one.
Load More Replies... Apart from flight or fight response, one thing which is ignored here - she's drunk. Both are drunk, but this danger would have shook away drunkness in him but her may be not? As a drunk woman, she probably thought "How dare he demand my purse and belongings?" Drunk or not, just hand it over. Life is precious than those possessions!
I live in New Orleans. This is why I carry a decoy wallet & an old s****y iPhone that doesn't work or unlock. Turns on. But it won't unlock no matter how correct the password is. So I keep those on me & when I'm out walking around I keep a smaller wallet & my real cell phone in my bra. I also put all sorts of fake money & fake cards in the wallet & a mclovin ID! Lol. I put notes on the very real looking money that says "GOTCHU B***H! Get a job!" & some knock knock jokes. Just to be an extra big d**k. I got robbed once before & I didn't have my phone on me at the time (it was at the repair shop I was walking from) Luckily. But I did have all my credit cards & my ID. so it was a pain to have to replace them all. They weren't able to steal any money since I canceled all the cards before they could. But the NOLA OMV takes a minimum of like 10 hours. So getting a new id sucked. That's what prompted my decoy idea. Gotta be smarter than the criminals.
It's interesting that when I suggest decoy wallets etc. I'm often mocked or downvoted, but as you said... it's easier than the alternative! I love to "weight" mine with blank metal discs and expired cards of various kinds so it looks more "legit". Then they get $5US and I'm loooong gone.
Load More Replies... Sephvion's answer is correct. If they ask for your stuff, hand it over. They just want your stuff. They don't want to kill you. They are willing to risk a few years in jail but not life. If they ask you to get into a car or go somewhere else, they want to kill you. Fight for your life then.
I don't think fight or flight happened here because of her reaction afterwards. I have attacked in a very dangerous situation before and when all was said and done I knew how stupid I was and I could not explain my actions logically. Her being upset at her partner after, means she really thinks he should have done something and does not have an appropriate understanding of danger or respect for him. Luckily no one was hurt, and he learned a valuable lesson about the person he is with.
Best advise I got was don't hand it to them. Throw it away and run the other direction, if possible.
NOOOO don't do this. You don't know how the robber is going to react to this. They might get mad and make the situation worse. They want what you have, that's their goal and if it doesn't go the way they planned they might become unpredictable. Just give them your stuff :(
Load More Replies... The example of the guy whose girlfriend wanted him to get into a fight with 8 guys is also good. The old "honor", "saving face" things are mostly stupid and not worth the damage. I'm also not a fan of women who pick fights and talk c**p and then want their bf/spouse to defend them.
It's interesting but in the Arizona concealed carry classes they talk about when to use your weapon. One of the things that's brought up is whether your would really want to kill someone over stuff that can be replaced or a small amount of money? Well, you really don't want to end up getting killed over stuff that can be replaced and a small amount of money. Where I really have to grit my teeth is the hassle of replacing cards/phone etc... but it's still less of a hassle than being dead or hospitalized.
As a woman, y concern would be my drivers license showing my address, and now the mugger knows where I live. I like Kennedy Kargaux’s comment where she says she carries a decoy wallet and broken phone to give a mugger. I just wouldn’t have an ID, even a fake one, that has my real address on it. To get revenge on anyone with the gall to rob me, I’d put the street address of my local police station on all my fake IDs.
Load More Replies... Yep, arguing with a guy with a gun sounds like the dumbest thing possible. Give them what they want. Stuff can be replaced.
We all have tiems we panic. Even if we're trained for a situation. The problem here, to me, is that she expected him to "save" them. You're held at gunpoint. The correct answer to "Gimme your purse!" is always "yes". You can cancel yoru cards, replace your wallet, etc., but you cannot undo short-range bullet wounds as easily as that! EDITED: Please donb't assume you'll kick the bad guy's butt after he bends down to get the goodies. Drop 'em and back up a few steps, and the moment his eyes are off you, *run*.
The real problem is that she hasn't learnt from it. Once out of the dangerous situation she doubled down by being mad at her bf who probably just saved her life. Panicking and doing dumb s**t when you're in danger is one thing. Refusing to admit it was dumb s**t once you have time to think is worse.
Load More Replies... Don’t blame the guy for wanting to leave. I just don’t understand how anyone could be in that situation, drunk or not, and your first thought isn’t protecting your loved one and yourself. I usually tend to have a freeze response in bad situations like that and the only thing that’s ever been able to overcome it is when I’m with my friend or bf and my mind becomes solely focused on getting them to safety
My brother was accosted by a man with a knife, demanding his wallet and watch back in the late 80's. He faced him down and came home uninjured... and told me it was the stupidest thing he'd done in his life. He had a new born son and a wife waiting for him at home and they might have been left without a father and husband because of a decision he made without any conscious thought. You need to think over what you're going to do in such a situation in advance, because your logical brain will be absolutely absent when it is actually happening.
If her response is to put your life in danger, you need to be saying goodbye. I wouldn't want future children put at risk due to stupidity.
All these comments are so American. Looks like it's normal you can run into someone who wants to rob you with a gun.
I'd probably think: you can have my phone and money but can I reset my phone to factory settings first please? and hope everything is backed up in the cloud. And if I'd have a wallet: could I please keep my wallet / the pictures of my kids? (Likelyhood of getting robbed at gunpoint is very low here) I don't know what I'd do in an actual situation. I think I'd freeze.
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