From what we’ve seen happening in the world so far, no pandemic can ever stop the pundemic! In these trying times, jokes are among a small handful of things we still have control over. The others are which PJ’s you wear for work o'clock and wine o'clock.
And for this reason, the newest coronavirus jokes of the week are in! Compiled by Bored Panda and executed by some of the wittiest minds on the internet, the gems are at your service. Consume recklessly, because a little comedy never killed nobody.
And if you need another dose of feel-good laughter, you know where to look: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6. You’re welcome.
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Bored Panda contacted Ariane Ling, a clinical instructor in the the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, who told us about the toll the current crisis has on our emotional state. It turns out that harnessing a sense of humor during this time is one of the most effective strategies to cope with unpleasant feelings.
Ling explained that there are both short-term and long-term benefits of cracking a joke now and then amid the crisis. “It helps to manage and tolerate stress in the moment while also maintaining perspective and resilience moving forward.” Humor is one creative way of coping rather than avoiding and going into denial about things.
I go to church weekly and I wouldn't be so silly as to attend in this current environment- it's looking for trouble if you do, and irresponsible.
I'm not religious, but I really like the idea the different religious groups in my community came up with when they couldn't hold services in their churches anymore (three or four weeks ago). They still ring the bells when church services would usually be conducted and invited people via our town newspaper (more of a leaflet with town news, but it's free and everybody gets one) to simply pray together from home. That's neat.
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Too right, especially the catholic church. The amount of money they make is astounding, yet people still fall for it.
I would say, especially the evangelical megachurches, they are the spreaders of ignorance and stupidity.
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My friend is a vicar, she does her services through the Facebook video thing. Her husband helps with readings and music, and it's nice! She lives kinda far, so it's great to see her services!
I couldn't agree MORE with that response. They absolutely should be taxed, especially if they don't want to follow the guidelines to help keep people safe and healthy.
There needs to be some sort of consistency from the "leader" and then those that refuse to follow have specific charges. There's too many inconsistencies for charges from petty crime to terrorism. When someone intentionally puts another in harm's way with a weapon as deadly as COVID 19, then it's much more than a petty crime. And the punishment has to be impactful, not a slap on the wrist.
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Yes, Yes!! Tax them and then we might actually know how much the really make
I don't trust church one bit, but seen some that are quite good. Can't remember which one, but their signs read somerhing along the lines of "You are gay? You are welcome here, we like rainbow flags too" i find it great, really.
The churches should be held accountable and taxed. The governor should be held criminally liable, prosecuted, fined, and thrown in jail.
I think God will understand if you don't go to church for a few weeks. He knows what's going on and I don't think he would want us to get sick in his name.
Passover is tomorrow and I'm gonna be having a seder all by myself... damn you 2020
Wottermehlon Doge, have you thought about the morality of the god of the bible and the passover story? God's plague in Egypt was to kill first born Egyptian sons. We have to conclude that some of them must have been babies, infants, toddlers, etc. You are worshipping a baby murdering god. Isn't that sickening? Also this supposedly all-knowing god can't even tell who his chosen people are. He needed the jews to slaughter innocent lambs and wipe their blood on their doors, so he would know what babies not to murder. Just a f*****g disgusting and insipidly stupid story.
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Churches qualify for the loan relief and possibly will not have to pay them back. The separation of church and state is one way now.
That's wrong, who does not pay tax, should not get a bail out.
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How about we rewrite the tax code so that the billionaires pay their fair share? They love to donate huge amounts to galleries and museums and opera companies for tax write-offs, but darn few give anything to help the truly poor who need it, as the churches do.
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Churches are nonprofit, and they do pay property taxes usually. Their employees pay income taxes. Churches give away food, clothing, and sometimes provide shelter and help in a time of need. The purpose of a business is to make money.
Never heard of Paula White? Or that vicar that bought his wife a Lamborghini? Or all the televangelists getting loaded and living the good life on their parishioners donations to the church? Never heard of the enormous treasures in the Vatican? Churches were never intended to be non profit.
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The government is afraid to govern, and I doubt that God sent down his lobbyist.
I'm not sure which is worse - the woman caught on video coming from a large church service saying she's not worried about catching it because she is "covered in Jesus' blood", (& this view is shared by her minister), the Orthodox church leaders refusing to stop their "one spoon" sharing ceremony, because "it's a religious ceremony so will be protected by God", the priests in Myanmar who advocate putting 7 peppercorns under the tongue to protect from the virus or the one in Iran who advocates putting primrose oil on your a**s to protect from it... are they trying to secretly cull their congregations??? https://globalnews.ca/news/6787633/coronavirus-easter-pastors/
I don't think so, they want collect dues; it seems that religious people simply believe in the fiction.
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That's just crazy talk. I watch my church services online...at least until this is over.
Most churches could still meet, if they would follow the rules: no more than 10 people at a time and everyone stays 6 feet apart. But, no church is going to do that, so they need to close. All the churches in my area have started doing their services online and the preachers (priests, rabbis, deacons, elders, etc.) are doing live chat or phone calls for people who need to talk in private. I'm not religious, but some are arguing that the Bible says, "forsake not the assembling of yourselves" (meaning you should attend church). However, when that was written, he never envisioned the social media outlets we have nowadays. You can assemble online; I'm pretty sure God would be cool with that. I'm also pretty sure your God would be very disappointed in you if you endangered your entire community just to attend church.
They'll be extra busy holding the funerals of the congregation then.
God helps those who help themselves...he tends to leave the idiots alone.
Jesus Christ..This is not a planet-wide myth that demands people in a pandemic mingle and put others at risk of spread. Put the service on skype or something. or print a program. Maybe they found go through a drive through to get it.
Unnecessary journey. Could have an accident and put emergency services at risk and also use valuable resources. Stay at home and worship online.
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I'm all for letting church continue. The plague that is religion will solve itself.
The problem being they will spread the germs far and wide... and like proselytizing, nobody wants that!
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We do not need to be in a religious building, worship comes from the heart !!!
Yes they are a business, BUT social distancing is more VIP. Use ZOOM for your congregrations. Must safer that getting sick and or/dieing
I wish my state did this nit going to church especially on Easter is wrong
GODS WORK..EVERYONE'S BUSINESS..LASTS FOR ETERNITY. PLUS FIRE INSURANCE
It's says the CONDUCT essential business. Churches provide food, clothing, shelter, financial aid, counseling and health care services to people all over the world, no matter who they are. Most mainstream churches (Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, etc) are closed and only have the very minimum of staff to help with the huge influx of funerals & emergency help for the needy. It's the pop-up evangelical churches that are being selfish. Check your bigotry.
Churches provide food, clothing, health care, shelter and counseling to millions of people around the world. With the exception of a lot of the evangelical churches, most mainstream churches are closed, only having a few staff to help with funerals. So check your bigotry.
Understandably, many of us feel anxious and keeping that sense of humor up is one of the very few resources we have right now. “Patients have shared how things that would normally help with stress are no longer available, including meeting up with friends for brunch, playing sports with their local league, going to the gym, etc,” said Ling. As a result, some “of my patients have described [the situation] as surreal or floating without an anchor.”
According to Ling, psychological wellbeing can also go in a positive direction where it is possible to keep spirits high when faced with large-scale tragedy. She explained: “Despite physical distancing, it's evident that people have been taking advantage of technology to stay social and connected. I’ve learned from my patients that holding on to gratitude is also critical in bolstering resilience.” It all comes down to being thankful for small things and enjoying the moment.
The clinical instructor also told us that in their NYU Langone Health clinic, “we started a 'good vibes' email chain where we share uplifting stories and clever memes.” So next time you’re thinking of sharing that meme with your friends and relatives, just press send—it may be all they need now.
HAHAHA! I bet lots of cats feel the same way. My dog's are also starting to look a bit tired. Instead of sleeping all day as usual, they now have to follow my husband in case he's eating something or doing something interesting.
OMG I said exactly this to my wife last week while we were in the store!
Oh god, I have been so caught up with all this alone time that I haven't even though that there are introverts that live with other people.
I have been TRYING to sleep in now that I don’t have to get my son ready for school.
Anyone else actually want to try that. Put some water underneath and it’d be fun.
I choked on a sweet the other day whilst sitting in the back garden. We live next door to a garage and shop and I swear the people queuing to get groceries were freaking out about the ill person in the house next door 😬 And I just wanted to shout I’M NOT INFECTED JUST AN IDIOT DON’T WORRY.
At least 3 times in 2 weeks we have had massive groups of people hanging out at the beach. Like seriously, these people are completely f****d in the head. What part of STAY THE F**K AT HOME do they not understand.
Thought the mask was his mouth for a moment, and man that was a creepy smile
I don't know if it's the being stuck at home or not, but that made me laugh too much
I just taught a whole lesson on "Flowers for Algernon" to my students in my PJs
I'd quarantine any decorations with words on it. Don't advertise to me what I should be feeling in your house.
Then you have too much money. (Edit: I read "mini laptop for my dog".)
Honestly, given that Willem DeFoe voiced Ryuk for that movie he was the best part!
In my country you can't return them...they changed the policy so you can't rescind buyers remorse....coz panic buying was dumb to begin with....
About time! The child ran crime unit knew where he was hidding for years, but the commissioner decided to dismiss those findings.
At once or one after another? Mind you you could watch them all at once, starts with not a lot happening, wander around a bit, have a bit of fight, wander around a bit more, have a bigger fight, find a love interest, wander around a bit more and then have one big final fight, pretty much covers all of them doesn't it?
This is an HEB grocery store mascot. You are not essential, but maybe the costume is helping keeping you safe (but probably not! ) I hope this picture is old.
Yassss. So true. Especially for Minnesotans today it's going to be 68 degrees!! Spot on!
Say yes, and makeup some story about how hard it was because there was no spotify or ipad.
guilty of letting them rip without first checking if someone was behind me, chuckle..
Ugh, our grocery bill has increased dramatically and not just because of snacking but also because the f**k heads stripping the shelves bare and leaving a handful of the more expensive items. I usually pay less than $2 for flour and I had to pay over $4, I also pay less than $3 for body wash but had to pay $8.50 coz that’s all they bloody had. Add the fact that many of our fruit and veg are dearer because of our recent bushfires doesn’t help.
I'm sure certain people agree to this. my school is online learning, and not only did they give us 5 times the regular amount homework, but they gave us 10 times the amount. LUCKILY, I finish it in time.
Memes like this don't work very well, because taste in music is way too subjective.
Yes, there are only two places here currently selling coffee...I make sure to alternate days so they don't think I'm bad at quarantining.
or using ur phone too much and spending 2h and 57 minutes on tik tok
All the crazies who were already all prepped for the zombie apocalypse are pointing and laughing at the rest of us right now. 'Bet you wish had a bunker now! Still think buying 10 cases of peanut butter was stupid? Got enough toilet paper? No? Well, isn't that a shame?'
How come I can still buy anything I want or need without someone saying they can't supply? Even the bare essentials every household needs is readily available, Wine whiskey, coffee, whipped cream, steaks.
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Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough. Taken from the Top Ten Coronavirus Jokes at https://www.keeplaughingforever.com/post/top-10-corona-virus-jokes
Uh, no. Trump did not cause Corona. Just like how Obama didn't cause Ebola.
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I didn't like most of them, not funny. I like my joke better: What would happen if coronavirus mutated into an STD? There would be a lot more "f*****g" cases!
That was terrible. Work on your material and get back to us when you have something good.
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Think about this. The virus started in China. They lied and hid whats going on with it. They could have contained it. They let it spread hoping it would cripple the American economy and America will come crawling to them to borrow even more money to pay for all of the stimulus bills that'll be passed. Conspiracy? It's the perfect plan for world domination!
Oh, come now! America had idiots ruining its future LONG before the novel coronavirus ever mutated. If China had really wanted to f*ck us up, they would have done what Russia did in 2016. But, they got beaten to the punch.
Load More Replies... All the crazies who were already all prepped for the zombie apocalypse are pointing and laughing at the rest of us right now. 'Bet you wish had a bunker now! Still think buying 10 cases of peanut butter was stupid? Got enough toilet paper? No? Well, isn't that a shame?'
How come I can still buy anything I want or need without someone saying they can't supply? Even the bare essentials every household needs is readily available, Wine whiskey, coffee, whipped cream, steaks.
Load More Replies... Before Corona Virus I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough. Taken from the Top Ten Coronavirus Jokes at https://www.keeplaughingforever.com/post/top-10-corona-virus-jokes
Uh, no. Trump did not cause Corona. Just like how Obama didn't cause Ebola.
Load More Replies... I didn't like most of them, not funny. I like my joke better: What would happen if coronavirus mutated into an STD? There would be a lot more "f*****g" cases!
That was terrible. Work on your material and get back to us when you have something good.
Load More Replies... Think about this. The virus started in China. They lied and hid whats going on with it. They could have contained it. They let it spread hoping it would cripple the American economy and America will come crawling to them to borrow even more money to pay for all of the stimulus bills that'll be passed. Conspiracy? It's the perfect plan for world domination!
Oh, come now! America had idiots ruining its future LONG before the novel coronavirus ever mutated. If China had really wanted to f*ck us up, they would have done what Russia did in 2016. But, they got beaten to the punch.
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