“Don’t Have Children You Can’t Fully Afford”: 40 People Share Their Most Controversial Money Tips
Esther Mukumbo is a mom from South Africa, trying to find her way toward financial independence. She has over 10 years of experience in Development Finance and Banking and is a director at a black women-owned investment company she co-founded called Malkia Invest.
While trying to achieve her goals, Esther also regularly posts on social media and one of her latest tweets has gone viral. In it, the woman asked everyone to share their most controversial takes on personal finance, and people happily obliged.
This prompted an interesting discussion on money, a subject many often avoid in the real world, fearing making a fool of themselves or saying something that would trigger those around them. Yay the internet!
Image credits: EMukumbo
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Then stop messing with abortion and free access to birth control.
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A lot of homeless people have dogs for safety reasons and companionship ... As do elderly people ... Similarly, circumstances change ... People may have been in stable loving relationships and had good jobs but for whatever quirk of fate, they ended up down on their luck. Life can change in an instant and never be the same again.
This is absolutely true. It's much like planning to put your kids up for adoption whenever bad luck hits, because you can no longer afford them. Companion animals are well and truly loved by their carers, and in return provide comfort and stability to their humans.
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I dunno, a lot of things change. 17 years ago when I got my boy, a single vet visit didn't cost over 500$. And even then, my vet would work with me for payment arrangements. Now, it's 3k for a dental and all it's required workup, and my vet won't even try to make payment arrangements. I'll gladly pay whatever money I have over time to keep him healthy, but I don't know of many people that have that out of pocket. Additionally, people have health insurance, and if something is life threatening enough, doctors will treat you without concern for payment. That doesn't exist for animals.
The UK has PDSA - there is probably an equivalent where you are abby. I hope so anyway.
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It's also inhumane to adopt and/or give birth to a child that you do not have the financial *and emotional* means to care for. Now that I think of it, the emotional thing applies to animals too! Here's my happy good boi :D IMG_8850-6...be307d.jpg 
I believe this argument has some validity, however, none of us knows when our situation will change dramatically... I have lost everything more than once in my life, and managed to keep my animal family together through it all. Where I live, many people who have suddenly become homeless are clinging to their beloved animal companions with their whole heart and soul, and would sacrifice anything for their well-being. Often, the companion is the only thing making life worth living for the people experiencing poverty and homelessness, especially children. Also, I have known more than one indigent person who rescued a stray and starving animal from the street. They cherish these rescues, and sacrifice their already meager resources to care for them. One of the vets I worked with, who did a lot of volunteer work, once said to me "If only everyone cared for their pets as well as the poor. I've had a surgeon deny their dog dental extractions, because it was 'expensive'".
A long time ago, when vet prices weren't anywhere near as costly as now, a client with 3 toy poodles was super angry about the bill for like vaccines and maybe some meds. She's yelling at us, little elderly lady just going off. She then told us that it's our fault (vet clinics) that people can't afford their pets... I told her that people getting 3 pure bred dogs wasn't the issue *at all*
We have Planned Pethood here that does low cost spay/neuter as well as shots. They also provide other vet services as well. My sister said there was a woman there with 3 pure bred chihuahuas, a male, a female, and a puppy. She was breeding them (AARGHHHHHHHHH) and was complaining about the $1300 bill for the caesarian the mother required, because now she wouldn't make any money!
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I see this post as : You want/plan to adopt an animal for whatever reason, but you know you cannot take proper care of it, and will likely die if you adopt it, then don't. It doesn't apply to a dog you had from years ago when you could afford it, but as time went you lost the ability to take proper care of . It which case it would be inhumane to just leave it on the street, won't it be?
Yes, Yes, and YES!! You have to able to afford yearly vet visits, vaccinations, and if they are to get sic, you have to able to afford to take care of them. My male dog got blasto, and the medicine, was going to be over a $1000.00 a month! My vet ordered it from Canada, with a substantial savings, but still expensive. Saved his life though, and he still going strong at13!!
Though it is perfectly possible for your circumstances to change unexpectedly.
Even though it makes a certain amount of sense it's just another way of sticking it to people who are not so well off.
If you ban abortion and forbid access to birth control, there are going to be a whole lot of children that cannot be afforded. And don't give anyone any garbage about adoption as plenty of children are still waiting.
Anytime could happen anything with anybody - if you have money, you can lost it, lost your job, your ability (health) to work etc. So if you adopt and lost your ability, then what? Your pet, or your children need to take away from you?
While I agree in principle, unless you have intimate knowledge of a person's financial history, do not use this to judge anyone. Just because someone can't afford their child or pet NOW, doesn't mean they couldn't when they adopted/gave birth.
This is bs. Everyone is right, you just never know. Stuff happens. Besides that, if everyone waited to have a pet or a child until they could afford it, no one would have either. If seen wonderful healthy happy people come out of the poorest homes, and the worst human beings ever come out of wealthy ones. So.......... And as far as pets, there are so many animals that need love because they have no one that anyone willing to love them should be good enough
I'm everyone here who fl on hard times in future will a be adopting out their kids and giving up their pets. Because life's hardships are always predictable and planned! And I mean really, procreation is a privilege that is only deserved by the rich! /s
that's why we didn't have a dog when my kids were growing up. they're adults on their own, they get it now.
Took our shih Tzu to the Vet the other day. Wellness check, blood test, rabies shot and flea/tick meds. $613. My husband said "this is why we only have one dog". We take very good care of the one we have.
100% agree with this. Also, if you don't have the time, space or patience to care for an animal, don't get one.
Rise above any innate human desire to reproduce because your society has said you are unworthy.
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From experience, this is true. I am sorry to my pet because I couldn't afford proper medical care. Please don't do it.
In most towns and cities, there are rescue groups, humane societies, shelters and clinics that help provide free or very low cost vet care. They are often crowded, and not convenient, but everyone I have ever worked with will do their level best to provide care to animals in need.
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Oh, man. I used to work for a veterinarian. I can understand not having the money on hand to pay for sudden major emergencies (we did payment plans) but the number of people who got (puppies, usually) with no resources or plan for regular care just made me want to scream. We had this woman bring us a new pit bull puppy, which tested positive for parvovirus (very preventable with a vaccine), and no money, no credit card, no checking account—she clearly just expected us to eat the cost of treatment for her. She finally found a friend who would lend her the money to start treatment. I doubt that ended well, but WTF. And if you think you can’t afford a spay you definitely can’t afford an emergency C-section, so find the money for the spay. Your vet is not a public hospital—they don’t get taxpayer money when you don’t pay your bill. And they’re not getting rich.
100%. Be responsible in all things. A rescue pet is a little life you are ultimately responsible for and they deserve better than going from one cage to another.
Yep $7500 for a hairball impacted intestine, and I'd sell everything I own if I had to.
I'm in a position where I could afford the financial care of my two cats when I got them 14 years ago. My situation has changed and now I can afford their basic care but not expensive things like x rays or dental surgery. It would break their hearts if I gave them away. It's a no win situation.
What happens if your means of financial support ends through no fault of your own and/or unpredictably? Edit: That would mean that no one should have a child or adopt a pet because no one knows what the future will bring. (Divorce, job loss, natural disasters, medical crisis, etc.)
Possible caveat to this would be (it would granted by a somewhat niche circumstance but) if you knew for an absolute fact the animal child wasn't going to get adopted by anyone else as was going to die or be put down. In that case saving them with the prospect of some rough patches where their life is less than ideal is still kinda justified.
I respectfully disagree 100% I ended up with a puppy my relative adopted but could not deal with. I expressed to this relative that as much as I love dogs, I could not afford one but would help her out with training or whatever else was needed. Of course, it ended up becoming my responsibility through a series of complicated issues. I was on disability and live in abject poverty as a result, I took the dog in. He was fed well, walked daily and had $8k worth of surgery for following my lead and blowing out his knees. I struggled to pay off that debt but I did and he lived a good long life. My sacrifice was worth it, he enhanced my life and those of others tremendously. No regrets at all. How about we make caring for pets more affordable as a new start.
A couple of my acquaintances managed to acquire over two dozen animals... taking in strays, ferals, and "adopting" from a local rescue. Rescue banned them from adopting more when they found out how many they had. Many of them developed terminal illnesses and rather than put them to sleep, their vet treated them to prolonged their lives. IMO, they were a cash cow to the vet. They never directly asked for help, but every time we saw them they would make a point of mentioning they had spent $2K on this animal, $3K on that animal, $5K on another animal, etc. I estimate they spent somewhere around $30 - $50K over a few years. Maybe more. Eventually they started a go fund me to deal with the vet bills. Didn't donate as I knew they had over $100K in liquid assets. Advice: Don't spend your retirement on "helping" animals.
There is a very fine line between rescuing and hoarding. Unfortunately, often very well meaning people wind up in over their heads. I spent my life rescuing and caring for "unadoptable" dogs and cats, and usually had a houseful (the need is very great) but with that is a huge responsibility, and there were many times I had to make heartbreaking decisions. Fortunately, I have been blessed with some very good vets, who know and support my efforts.
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HA!!! HERE IT IS!!! The Terry Pratchett Sam Vimes Boots theory I mentioned before!
However, let's challenge this thread from a different perspective. Not because it's inherently wrong—it might allow us to get a better understanding of what these people are talking about. As Kristin Wong pointed out in The New York Times, traditional personal finance advice is often tossed around in blanket statements. While there's nothing wrong with the actual advice in theory, the way we deal with money in reality is often much more nuanced.
Consumer spending is increasing and unemployment rates have fallen, but wage growth has been slow, and income inequality is still very much a problem. With the situation changing so fast and drastically, what can we actually do about money?
How is this controversial? They absolutely should not exist. You don’t become a billionaire by paying people fair wages and a fair amount of tax. You become one by playing the system and cheating people out a liveable wage.
This is true. Terry Pratchett's Sam Vimes had a GREAT little commentary on that.... too darn true.
"I'm interested in the causes and consequences of inequality, particularly from a labor market perspective," Kate Bahn, director of labor market policy and an economist at the research organization Washington Center for Equitable Growth, told Wong. Dr. Bahn argued there's not enough emphasis on the larger structural barriers that make people's financial lives difficult. Personal finance might sometimes even further de-emphasize these barriers, she said.
There is, for example, a concept called labor monopsony, which is what happens when a single hiring entity gains control over the workforce.
"So employers will take advantage and pay workers less because there's nowhere else to go," Dr. Bahn said. "It's geographically remote areas where there may be only one big employer, and there's no other company to work for, so that company can pay whatever they want because workers can’t say, 'Screw this,' and go somewhere else."
Or better yet: Don't police how other people spend their money. Unless they ask you directly, it's literally none of your business. How would you like it if people commented and judged you on your purchases? Don't do it to others.
Get rid of religion, it is only about control and money. Controlling YOU and YOUR money.
Dr. Bahn's argument is that personal finance is necessary, but not quite sufficient. It's put forth as a solution when what we really need is policy, she said, and places priority on personal choice over issues that are ultimately out of most people's control.
But there are still plenty of folks who think that personal finance remains helpful because it is a way to share information that many are discouraged from seeking. "People have criticized financial education, saying it doesn't work because people are still making mistakes," Billy Hensley, president and CEO at a private nonprofit, National Endowment for Financial Education, also told Wong. "Education can't help access jobs, but it can help people navigate the system as it exists."
You also can't buy in bulk, transport far for savings, or afford an annual subscription for discount stores or Prime.
In... the USA... yes. I remember well the incredulous conversation I had when I was in my early 20s with an American friend. I laughed and asked him something like 'Ha ha.. yeah, sure, so what happens if you break your leg on vacation?" and he said "I dunno... pray... and beg?" - then I realized he was serious. And... the conversation got worse from there... it took me a WHILE to truly accept he wasn't exaggerating.
But when you think about it, how do you even measure the effectiveness of personal finance? After all, so much of it is... personal.
Rachel Schneider, a researcher and co-author of The Financial Diaries: How American Families Cope in a World of Uncertainty, tried to look at how people handle money in the real world. She and her co-author, Jonathan Morduch, a researcher and professor at N.Y.U., worked with over 200 families for a year, gathering information on every dollar that went in and out of their homes.
Our job offered " free 30 talk with a financial planner" He determined that I would have to put 1800 a month towards retirement to make the magical 1 million mark. That would have left me with $800 a month to live. And why do i need a million if i am living off 45,000 a year now ?
True. Very true. We don't own a car. There was a time we had to take the bus home from a big grocery haul. It was cheaper to get a ton of food all at once than spend bus/cab fare multiple times. So I'd be waddling down the block from the bus stop carrying 6 bags on each hand. Sometimes having to go back and forth up and down the block lol. Laundry day meant gathering up 3 large bags, putting them on the wagon and walking it all down to the laundromat. There was no car to just drive the kid to school. Rain, sun, ice and snow we had to walk her there and back, sometimes using the wagon or sled. Cleaning meant actually scrubbing and dusting, not using all that fancy stuff. We had slumlords so we had to do a lot of repairs ourselves or wait until a cheap, careless contractor came to do a temporary patch job. I was in way better shape back then than I am now lol.
"A huge finding was the level of volatility people experience in their financial lives over the course of a year," Ms. Schneider explained.
Although she expected to find income volatility year to year, she was surprised to see how widely income varied within the year, too. A subject could be above the poverty line for the year overall, but that same person could fall below the poverty line in any given month.
My mom has a serious problem with this. She's super finicky about interior/exterior appearances and every boyfriend she's moved in with, she's "helped" with redecorating and renovating. Each time I just shake my head and roll my eyes when she's not looking. Keep telling her to just stop and stop moving in with men just because she doesn't feel comfortable being a "single woman living on her own".
This is a personal matter between the family. There are some well-to-do parents who have no problems kicking their 18 year old to the curb without anything to survive on. And then there are the other parents, regardless of how well-off or not, who know how hard it is for the single, young folk to get by on their own and are okay with letting them remain at home to save money. It's no one else's business. You do you, people. If you're okay with your kids living at home, then that's you're business. If you want to kick them out of the nest, that's you're business.
"This has a huge impact on how people deal with money," Schneider said. "The economy has been growing and the unemployment rate is relatively low and declining, yet we’re not seeing that growth and prosperity getting distributed down to the bottom."
While Schneider agreed that financial education is necessary and can be useful, she also worried that overemphasizing it as a solution to financial challenges shifts responsibility away from our economy's major players (like banks that offer subprime predatory loans or companies that take advantage of workers).
Unless you have been in those shoes, you can't know how to advise someone on living in them.
Disability benefits are there to cover the extra costs associated with having a disability/being disabled. Do you have to keep the heating on 3/4 of the year because of kidney failure, because there's a cost to that. Do you have to eat food without certain niche ingredients and therefore spend additional money covering the cost of that. I spend additional money each month on petrol so I can get to places because the bus isn't suitable. Disabilities cost more.
One thing that both proponents and critics of financial education seem to find common ground on, however, is that if we're going to help people navigate the current system, the way we talk about money has to evolve.
Financial education should not be telling a person to do this and in this exact way or you’re a failure. We need to humanize the topic and try to acknowledge the individual.
Anyway saving is a myth, that is NOT how rich people get rich. Source: I am in the 1% in my country, own 3 cars, paying off two properties, have two servants, private schooling, etc. How did I do it? Sheer luck, and playing the stock market with spare cash.
Ex-Credit Union manager here. If you're married, you should at least tell your spouse you have your own acct. Most honest couples disclose that ahead of time. AND don't ask anymore questions. If they can't accept that then they have issues that will probably ruin your relationship eventually anyhow. In the event of death the spouse is usually the beneficiary anyway.
This. I keep saying to people let's say "he is paid X" instead of "he earns X". Generally a person in management or above does not earn anything, they are more or less email forwarding devices that forward instructions between upper management and staff. That's not work.
a child's happiness depends on money I would feel better (and the people at school insulting me too) if I coul take a shower when I want instead of "water is expensive and we only have one hot water balloon-storage/day so we'll have to take turns : for a family of three max MAX is 1 shower every three days :(
I love my credit union. Still some fees but not nearly as bad as banks!
"Financial literacy" is code for rich people wanting to believe that poverty only happens due to personal faults and not systemic injustice.
Youtubers and other platformers get a lot of help from friends and family to advertise, and those who really did it themselves took a lot of sacrifices many of us aren't willing to risk. All these ones saying they quit their jobs to focus on their channel for a couple never tell you how they were able to do to that. Same with the ones saying they tried working one office job, quit and vowed to never work for someone again. HOW?
I think it should be taught in secondary school, as not everyone goes on to university
I never knew how true this was until a year ago. If I end up not being able to go back to work (currently on leave with a medical issue), I may or may not get social security benefits. They say that I can work, even if it's a job with less pay and less hours. How am I supposed to live on working 20 hours a week at $10 or $15 an hour?? If I don't find the right treatment, I'm poor no matter what.
If you have dyscalculia that is a very annoying statement to hear. It's not like we can't learn it just takes longer, and not a lot of people have the patience to take the time to teach it to someone with math dyslexia. It's frustrating and easier to just give up. But it's not that we're ignorant. We want this knowledge.
Note: this post originally had 113 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Being poor is not a moral failing, but not giving a s#it about the poor is.
Other advice to not take from Twitter: who to vote for; whether to get vaccinated; whether the earth is flat; etc.
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My financial advice to my fellow Americans: STOP voting against your own interests! If we would all do this then UNEARNED income wouldn't be taxed at a lower rate than earned income in this country.
Absolutely. I'd vote many time more UP if I could
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Most poor people are doing everything they can to get out of poverty. You can actually do everything "right" and still be poor. All you need is bad luck. You cannot change what country you come from, wish parents you have, etcetera. And even if you start out well, an accident or a serious health problem can tank your economy for life.
I think mine would be that high-speed internet is not a luxury. Even if you don't use Amazon or have a streaming video service, having high-speed internet at home is necessary for any number of reasons: job hunting, having school-age kids, working from home, the list could go on.
Everyone should be able to live a normal life an have a family. Instead of shaming poor people for having kids we should change society so kids don’t grow up in poverty.
Poverty is actually avoidable if you graduate hs, always have a job, don’t have children until you’re married. Literally the formula that will make poverty disappear And your problems are not solved by trying to vote for the government to steal from “the wealthy”. Stop obsessing about “the wealthy” and focus on your wealth. Free healthcare is a lie. Pay your own medical expenses and be an adult.
My rule always was, if I have to wear Walmart shoes I'm damn sure not buying you a pair $250.00. I told my boys if they wanted them I would pay 50 and they had to earn the rest. Same thing with phones. But our kids didn't get a phone til the turned 13. These 9yr olds with the latest iPhone makes me cringe! I grew up poor.. I mean poor! It shows lol but my kids work there buts off now at 19.20 and 22! Proud momma!
If you are unskilled labor, it doesn’t how much money you make, eventually they will find a way to pay you or someone else less because there are no barriers to someone entering the job. Always have a skill and continually upgrade your skills to stay ahead of automation and cheaper incoming labor.
a justice system but the game ended. Attitudes after the game ended: the "rich" who all thought they were smarter and more deserving of everyone else. It was by f*cking chance (or the organizers) that they got the gold tokens. The poor understood that the game was rigged and were quite vocal about how it was rigged. Those who represented the middle class really thought they stood a chance of being the winner and were totally clueless as to what the game was all about. They were mostly bewildered at all the fuss made by the poor.
Played a "game" one time. Class was split into several teams of 5 people. Tokens were handed out "randomly". Different colors were worth different amounts. There were a very few gold tokens that were worth a lot more. The object of the game was be the person who ended up with the most points from their tokens. Scores were posted. Token handouts happened more than once. Takeaways from the game: In the two teams with the least scores (the poor) would race back to the others with their hands open. What have we got? Then one person was selected by the team to get all of the tokens for the team, the rest got 0. Those who got the golden tokens each stood alone, peeking at their hands. Those who thought they were still in the running to win, but really were not, each played their own hands but stayed with their teams. Cheating was rampant but those running the game said, we can't interfere, the game has not mechanism to deal with it. The "poor" were starting to talk about
Can we please stop using the term canceled please? No one gets canceled you get held accountable to the words you say or write. I'm not sorry your opinions are not viewed by the masses as acceptable and maybe just maybe your views are not acceptable are wrong.
What is true, and what is POPULAR often have no overlap. This little corner of the internet is a prime example of that. Say anything at all that 10 or more people don't LIKE and away you go. Doesn't matter if it's true, doesn't even matter if it's offensive. That's the problem that people have with "cancel culture" not being held accountable for your actions or words, but being held accountable for what some random stranger parses your words to mean or assumes to be true. There are countless examples over the past several years, the most recent example of course being Johnny Depp.
Load More Replies... So glad you shared! I'll be well on my way to my Caribbean retirement in no time with that advice!
Load More Replies... Being poor is not a moral failing, but not giving a s#it about the poor is.
Other advice to not take from Twitter: who to vote for; whether to get vaccinated; whether the earth is flat; etc.
Load More Replies... My financial advice to my fellow Americans: STOP voting against your own interests! If we would all do this then UNEARNED income wouldn't be taxed at a lower rate than earned income in this country.
Absolutely. I'd vote many time more UP if I could
Load More Replies... Most poor people are doing everything they can to get out of poverty. You can actually do everything "right" and still be poor. All you need is bad luck. You cannot change what country you come from, wish parents you have, etcetera. And even if you start out well, an accident or a serious health problem can tank your economy for life.
I think mine would be that high-speed internet is not a luxury. Even if you don't use Amazon or have a streaming video service, having high-speed internet at home is necessary for any number of reasons: job hunting, having school-age kids, working from home, the list could go on.
Everyone should be able to live a normal life an have a family. Instead of shaming poor people for having kids we should change society so kids don’t grow up in poverty.
Poverty is actually avoidable if you graduate hs, always have a job, don’t have children until you’re married. Literally the formula that will make poverty disappear And your problems are not solved by trying to vote for the government to steal from “the wealthy”. Stop obsessing about “the wealthy” and focus on your wealth. Free healthcare is a lie. Pay your own medical expenses and be an adult.
My rule always was, if I have to wear Walmart shoes I'm damn sure not buying you a pair $250.00. I told my boys if they wanted them I would pay 50 and they had to earn the rest. Same thing with phones. But our kids didn't get a phone til the turned 13. These 9yr olds with the latest iPhone makes me cringe! I grew up poor.. I mean poor! It shows lol but my kids work there buts off now at 19.20 and 22! Proud momma!
If you are unskilled labor, it doesn’t how much money you make, eventually they will find a way to pay you or someone else less because there are no barriers to someone entering the job. Always have a skill and continually upgrade your skills to stay ahead of automation and cheaper incoming labor.
a justice system but the game ended. Attitudes after the game ended: the "rich" who all thought they were smarter and more deserving of everyone else. It was by f*cking chance (or the organizers) that they got the gold tokens. The poor understood that the game was rigged and were quite vocal about how it was rigged. Those who represented the middle class really thought they stood a chance of being the winner and were totally clueless as to what the game was all about. They were mostly bewildered at all the fuss made by the poor.
Played a "game" one time. Class was split into several teams of 5 people. Tokens were handed out "randomly". Different colors were worth different amounts. There were a very few gold tokens that were worth a lot more. The object of the game was be the person who ended up with the most points from their tokens. Scores were posted. Token handouts happened more than once. Takeaways from the game: In the two teams with the least scores (the poor) would race back to the others with their hands open. What have we got? Then one person was selected by the team to get all of the tokens for the team, the rest got 0. Those who got the golden tokens each stood alone, peeking at their hands. Those who thought they were still in the running to win, but really were not, each played their own hands but stayed with their teams. Cheating was rampant but those running the game said, we can't interfere, the game has not mechanism to deal with it. The "poor" were starting to talk about
Can we please stop using the term canceled please? No one gets canceled you get held accountable to the words you say or write. I'm not sorry your opinions are not viewed by the masses as acceptable and maybe just maybe your views are not acceptable are wrong.
What is true, and what is POPULAR often have no overlap. This little corner of the internet is a prime example of that. Say anything at all that 10 or more people don't LIKE and away you go. Doesn't matter if it's true, doesn't even matter if it's offensive. That's the problem that people have with "cancel culture" not being held accountable for your actions or words, but being held accountable for what some random stranger parses your words to mean or assumes to be true. There are countless examples over the past several years, the most recent example of course being Johnny Depp.
Load More Replies... So glad you shared! I'll be well on my way to my Caribbean retirement in no time with that advice!
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