Controlling Mom Loses It When Her Adult Daughter Stops Her From Tracking Her Location At All Times

I can certainly see why "mother's" marriage would fail! But seriously, he doesn't get mentioned here, not even as someone who might be of help. Which does rather imply that he's not helping and doesn't make a habit of helping. That's not okay.

This comment has been deleted.

i'm not here to be sensitive. it's a topic about a mom-kid relation. So my comments are even more on topic on how i handled it than your cancer related rant. Not all topics should be rooted to you talking about you being sick and having chemo Christine. Feel free to start a post about it there and i'll take into account your feelings there as the OP would actually be there and not a copy paste from Reddit. And now for your big question : how do my comments fit in. =====> some people mention it's hard to see you are abused for years. One thing that can make you realize that is to see/hear how a normal relationship with your mom can be. it's never perfect but it doesn't need to be that hard. What good would it do if i add more of your precious sensitive bandwagon talk? I add my view, you add yours.

Wow.

Who are you? I cannot imagine how I could know you.

i have no idea on how to answer that. why would you think you know me? And more important, does it matter? I guess we all have our own stories

You use my real first name.

It's the name of your Bored panda account.

I don't see it in any of my account information.

The url itself. And you can t change that

Thank you, it is part of that email address. I had no idea. Personal story: When my son (who I always talk about) was little he had a cellphone - mommy leash - so he could tell me where he was and I could find him. Usually he called us. Freshman year of high school he went a school function with a car full of senior girls. Two hours after the event ended he wasn't home. Phone off. Furious, I called the 911 call center on the non-emergency line. Any incidents with high schoolers? Slow night, the woman had a son the same age. We get more and more creative and can't stop laughing. My son comes home, "Who are you talking to?" "911 operator looking for you." " We all had our phones off. Everyone was grounded, but me! why can't you be like the other moms" My goal -- teach him the consequences of his choices. All the parents freaked for the same reason. In his eyes being grounded was easier. He knew why I was mad, how much I worried, and how to prevent a repeat. He broke a rule, but the bigger problem how his actions hurt me. I wanted to raise a child who knew how to make his way through the world without me. Learn at home when we could rescue him. He was confident and self-reliant. I didn't need to worry. Odd parenting, but it worked.

I feel sorry for the moms who over protect their children, then because the kids don't have street smarts they need to worry. Abuse is painful, it can lead to PTSD. Belittling the issue makes it worse. Cancer was nothing, but it scares people. It is easier to relate to that pain than something they never experienced. I have seen just the diagnosis crush people and families. People whose cancer wasnt as severe suffered more. Empathy improves communication, I was included in the casual group conversations in the waiting rooms. It is a skill that widens your world, creates opportunity. I removed my posts because I was embarrassed. Have other people reacted to your posts in this way? I cannot imagine watching someone I love die. It must have been terrible. I am sorry it happened to you. You write calmly, something I admire.

Reading through my notes, I couldn't find a mention of cancer, but know they are there. If that is how you choose to see me ignoring everything else I wrote, whatever. My biggest weakness and who I mention much too often is my son. Raising him was a blast. I am overly proud of how my ex and I raised him. I brag far too much. He thrived, others may not. I try to understand other parenting styles. It is difficult because I know too many people my age who are still suffering. Parents who continue to hurt -- ruin weddings, one friend was arrested after the wedding. Parents who purposely cause problems between spouses or children. I don't know how they were raised. I only see the damage. It is another of my weaknesses.

I don't see you as just a cancer survivor. But even though it has had a big impact on your life, i believe it's not something you should bring up in every argument. Specially not in a first post. But you can talk about your son as much as you want. I ll write you another post later to explain something about myself but i got a bit of a headache now

You may remember my infrequent posts about cancer more vividly. There aren't many, but for whatever reason they bother you. Worth bringing up. If I truly want to be sensitive to others, I should be more aware of what I say. I didn't like what you said, but you are right. It is in fact, constructive criticism.

who doesn't matter. but i saw the moment my grandmother died of cancer when i was 14. i was in the room with my dad and his brother when i heard the last gurgle breath and i still remember. So i'm sorry i'm not impressed with your story with even decades of life experience more. But i see you removed all your cancer related post. good for you that you survived though

My point, which you missed, cancer was easy for me. It isn't even a bad memory. I never cried or felt sorry for myself. Like many people, my cancer was not going to kill me immediately. I have a slightly higher chance of getting cancer again, but nothing more. I was sick, not dying. Comparing my experience to yours is incredibly unfair --- which is my point. When I read your original post it sounded like you didn't understand how overwhelmed and helplessness many abused abuse victims feel. You were able to communicate with your parents which is an accomplishment, but for many people this simply isn't possible. I was able to take advantage of the incredible cancer resources in Boston, and like you, I paid attention and worked at getting through it.

so i ll try to explain some events that have in my opinion had the biggest influence on me and might be related to my views on BP. first of all when i was just dating my wife years ago, we went on a little trip and i agreed to turn off my phone for the weekend. As coincidences go, that's the weekend my dad almost died. at the end of the weekend i had a lot of missed calls from my mom. so talk about privacy is nice, but in the end my mom couldn't contact me on the moment she really needed me. lucky my dad survived but i just keep 2 things from that's weekend. - i wasn t there for my mom when she needed me - i realised then that my parents aren t going to live forever. second event. my male cousin who is a lot younger than me, and was a bit the star of the family as goes with the youngest ones. But at a given moment he went to a very good sporting club (most people in the family played the same sport in our small village where we have a rather good club) in a nearby town. but after a while he stopped eating, became syper skinny and tried to suicide. ended up in mental hospital for a while. so that can explain why i genuinely hate those posts about "all men are rapists" vibe and "men are so fragile". because he was abused and fragile is a correct way to describe him. it's not really to throw around when somebody doesn t agree with you. he went skinny like a concentration camp survivor. but lucky he got better, started to regain weight, came back to our village club and started studying for nurse because he saw there are a lot of good nurses lacking in the time in the hospital. and then the last event. a couple years ago on a november morning i arrived at work. my phone went off while still in the car and it was my dads phone calling on such a weird early hour. and i knew immediately that when i picked up the phone i would loose one of the persons above. and in those few seconds i knew who i would prefer to keep. i won that day because my dad is still around to play with my kid. she ll be turning one next week and her grandad is a big favorite. but in the end i still often feel guilty because i was happy it wasn t my dad. my cousin jumped of a building because in the end we never knew how fragile he was. He even had gotten his degree. And every time some feminist pretending person post something in the trend of "all men are rapists" or "saying not all men is adding to the problem" i disagree. because there is one man who didn t. and in his honor i ll never agree with that kind of talk.

#4 Lastly, you clearly learn from your mistakes. So admirable -- so few people are able to do this!!! You also understand your anger, which is productive. You have a rare opportunity, you can pass this on. We teach by example. There is a lot of anger in my family. Abuse happens. But it ends with me. My son would not grow up this way. (Thrn i married the wrong man) We choose, decide how to introduce our children to the world. Knowledge helps. I love the image of your father and daughter. My son turns to his grandfather for help. They are extremely close. I couldn't be happier. Mental health is difficult for outsiders to understand. I like your attitude. You opened up, shared and showed me all the good stuff. You are a remarkable, admirable man. (You know I would tell you if I thought otherwise.) Thank you. I am honored.

Thank you for the nice words. That's a reason i prefered to call you by your name. It's easier to see the human side like that. But don't think everything is perfect. All relations take effort. I ve had my hard times with my parents and i ve still got enough anger in me sometimes. Sport is a wonderfull way to coop with that for me. And it's only thx to close family this last weird year is going ok. So take care of your son and closed ones!

I thought about this for days (4 to be exact). We, together, turned something negative, that upset both of us into something we can feel good about. Decades ago I heard a motivational speaker talk about noticing when others are doing something you see as admirable. Then looking for examples. I wasn't thinking about this in the moment, but at some point I noticed how much we shared. How difficult your struggles were. Once I could see that, it got easier. When you used my name I freaked, I was afraid you were someone I know. I can be incredibly strong. I survived so much, but there isn't one event that defines me. Everything, good and bad, is part of me, but I decide who I want to be. Which parts of me I am proud of. I can be a total jerk, I know this, it isn't part of the person I want to be. I need to pay more attention to what I say. I am sorry, my first reply wasn't kind. Thank you for pushing back, you forced me to examine my behavior. I can be a better person.

#3 Blaming. We could have continued the aggressive, alienating conversation. We would have walked away angry. We choose not to. You are clearly intelligent. Sometimes I get angry. Not productive. I can learn from you. We are treating each other with respect, big difference. And that is what works. I went to 6 months of conservative DC political events during the Iraq War#2. I wore my jean jacket with buttons expressing my beliefs. My opinion was clear, but I behaved and joined the high school lacrosse discussion. I continued to be invited and treated with respect. Eventually an editor and top journalist asked me to explain my opinion. I did, very carefully. Blaming in anger is like a yappy dog. They disrupt constructive conversation, anger the wrong people and are ignored. Successful activists plan carefully, events and actions vary. Different skills and methods. Ignore those who bark.You beliefs deserve respect.

#2 Looking at a small part of an issue isn't fair or smart. Few things are simple. Sexual urges and men. Men need to learn how to control their urges. A college friend told me she knew men in college who had sex with unconscious women. But now they are good parents and members of the community. No, they are criminals. What are they teaching their sons and daughters? These are unpunished criminals. Criminals. Watch a YouTube video on Tea and Concent. It should be mandatory. Until society can stop blaming women and not forcing men to be responsible for their actions, the problem will not go away. A relative lashed out at us old ladies for not doing enough, for letting the problem continue -- without knowing the changes we fought for. It was worse, women must continue to push for fair treatment Verbally attacking others doesn't help -- it worsens the issue. Consider the larger problem, not the details.

#1 The only reason I bring my phone with me is in case something happens to my father or son. The situations you describe are what I fear. It must have been awful. We are closer to some people, like our spouse, parent, or child. Losing one of these people can change our lives -- often dramatically. The death of a cousin, while horrible, isn't the same. Being happy/relieved it wasn't your father sounds normal and reasonable to me. Having such a close relationship to your father is admirable. Something others wish they had. Enjoy it, soak it up, without guilt. Is it unfair that you have this relationship and others don't? No, it is part of life. A fact. There isn't anything to be ashamed of.