30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group
Many years ago, the great Dutch philosopher Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote his famous treatise called "The Praise of Stupidity". A lot of time has passed since then, and people continue to do incredibly stupid things and, moreover, willingly talk about how they did them, and how they felt doing them.
On the other hand, if a person realizes that what they once did was really stupid, this means at least they have realized their own mistake and will try not to make it in the future. Well, or at least they will do new silly things... But then, many years later, there will be something to remember and tell friends and relatives about!
There is an incredible thread in the AskReddit community whose topic starter asked just one question many years ago: "What is the stupidest thing you've done?" The result was around 17.2K upvotes, over 16.3K different comments - and such deposits of human stupidity of various levels that Erasmus of Rotterdam, if he had read this thread, would have continued his treatise in at least three more new books.
But the great philosopher died in 1536, and we at Bored Panda are here, alive and well, and have collected for you a selection of the best comments from this epic thread. So now feel free to scroll to the very end, enjoy these amazing examples of stupid deeds - and please solemnly swear not to do them like the authors!
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I woke up one night. Saw a hand on my pillow. Started to freak out, froze. Waited. Decided I'd move. Screamed and jumped when the hand moved.
It was my hand.
Ah yes, the human hand, the most terrifying thing to see when you haven't fully woken up.
Let's see, where to start.
I once killed a pint of vodka, straight, on a dare. Spent the rest of the night ralphing.
I fell for a prank of laying a stick across a shovel handle and then stomping the shovel spade to see how high the stick would go.
I had my windshield tinted to 5% on my car.
I sent a Nairobi prince some cash so I'd get a big return. I really did.
I voted for Ross Perot in '92.
I volunteered for several things in boot camp without knowing what they were.
I rear ended a cop car. During the questioning, I got the involuntary giggles and when the cop asked if I thought it was funny, I said "Yes."
In little league, I chased a ball under the bleachers from the back side. Imagine running fast as the bleacher seats get lower and lower. Cracked my head open.
Hit on a starting linebacker's girlfriend at a frat party. I even knew it was his girlfriend.
Noticed my "low oil pressure" light on in the car; decided I could make it to the next exit 10 miles away.
Took bowling as a HYPERS class in college. Cheated on the final exam and got caught.
Decided to jump in the water to p**s; left the boat in gear.
Spent a half hour trying to pick up a quarter someone had super glued to a sidewalk.
I'm really not as dumb as all this sounds. I'm just...impulsive.
Late for work, running around the house looking for my keys. Ran upstairs, saw them on the desk, pointed at them and said to the air, "There they are." I was nearly to the front door before I realized I didn't actually pick them up.
The girl of my dreams came back to my place after dinner and drinks, we had been friends for a long time but never a hint of anything more.
I was in a sleeping bag, on the floor. She told me "Hey, you can jump up under the quilt to get warm" and my response was "Oh, this sleeping bag is really warm!"
It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done.
...Wow. Thinking about this makes me really depressed :(
Just perhaps consider: your feelings were emotional but her’s just recreational. You’d be in for a bigger letdown when the sex didn’t lead to any sort of romantic bond. Just my opinion: turning down sex does not compromise one’s masculinity
I once started talking s**t about a friend who I'd forgotten we had just picked up and was sitting in the backseat of the car. This one still keeps me up at night.
One of my ex's and I met in the city. We always went on dates in the city and never close to where we lived. I had just moved to the area, I had heard of the place he lived in but didn't think it was close to where I lived, and never really thought about it. Then I started staying over at his place, and when I was going home the following afternoons I would take the tram into city centre (~20 minutes) and then get the bus to my house (another ~40 minutes). I honestly thought the village he lived in was far from my house so I took the route I knew. Turns out he lives a 10 minute walk away. I did this like 8 times.
Years ago I took over my sister's tutoring round when she was heavily pregnant. She had built it up over years, it was not even my home country so despite her carefully planned bus list, I kept getting disoriented. So I spent a day with a days bus pass and a lot of walking to get it straight in my head. Turned out, she had spent on average 2 hours a day extra connecting busses solved with a 1minute walk to a parallel street. Couldn't see that from the bus.
I stapled my finger to see if stapling my finger was possible. can confirm, it is.
Opened up a carton of orange juice and noticed it said shake well before use. Proceeded to violently shake the holy hell out of the carton as it rained vitamin C goodness over the kitchen and me. Housemate walked in and asked "what the f**k is wrong with you?" as if I'd done it on purpose and was thorougly enjoying my OJ shower
I work as a substitute middle school teacher. At the beginning of each day the kids listen to the announcements. One time they announced that one of the students who had been battling cancer passed away the night before.
So me, being the great guy I am, give the students five minutes of time to sit quietly and reflect. Then I decide to lighten the mood by calling attendance, so I use a bizarre inflection to entertain the students.
Called out "Tyler?", no response. Call it out again, no response. Finally one student piped up and said that was the kid that died the day before.
This was after I called his name out several times with differing tones of voice to be comical, while all the students saw was me bashing the dead kid. F**k.
I remember when a kid in my year lost his battle when I was 15. Substitute teacher walked in to our silent maths lesson with a breezy "looks like someone died here". We all silently got up and left. Took me a while to realise school not supply was at fault for that.
Barber while cutting my hair asks ''what do you do for a living?". I replied "I'm an accountant. You?"
One time I went through the drive thru at Dunkin donuts and stopped at the trash can instead of the speaker for about 5-8 minutes repeatedly saying "hello?"
I asked my friend if he had got his car back from the garage while we were sitting in it...I am not a smart man.
Back to girls house after dinner. She has early class the next day so gets ready for bed, but says I can stay and keep her company for a while.
Laying in her bed, she's in silk pajamas, I'm fully clothed. We're just talking. I start running my hand up and down her back. She says "mmmm.... you'd better stop that, I'm getting turned on"
So I stopped.
Like a F*****g idiot.
Actually I think if your first impulse was to stop after she kinda told you to stop it makes you quite a decent person. Misunderstandings can be discussed or hopefully laughed off in a case like this but us girls are usually happy about our NO or STOP being respected.
I put an umbrella handle in my mouth and pushed the button to release the umbrella.
I thought the umbrella would shoot out the front of my mouth and open. Instead the handle extended back into my mouth and broke my front teeth.
No idea why I thought that.
I did that once too and almost broke my nose, I had loads of bags and it started to rain ... meh
Called my girlfriend a "big girl" for finishing her dinner.
Not me, but a friend of mine was dead serious and asked why don't wheelchairs have pedals for when your arms get tired.
Hey, my arms work and my legs work. I have serious back problems, which is why I use a chair. I would LOVE pedals.
Friend came to my house. Knocked on my door. When I answered it I was greeted with "Hey are you home?"
Unable to find my phone, in a complete state of panic, sending my friend a text asking
"Dude, did I leave my phone at your place? I can't find it anywhere!".
He replied "... what are you using to send this text, genius?"
I have never, in my life, been so ashamed.
*EDIT :* To clarify, this was quite a few years ago, before smartphones and Google Voice. We're talking some of the first color-screen Nokias here.
Not to be rude, but I don't think the model of phone you were using comes in to play here haha
I was riding my bike and wondered what would happen if I stuck my feet in the spokes of my front tire.
Answer: Flipped over the handle bars, broke my two front teeth and road rash on half my face.
You got a different outcome.... my friends daughter got two broken wrists out of her try ;P
When I was younger I got kicked out of ballet class because I kept running into the mirrors thinking they were open windows or like portals to another world or something.
After a night of drinking, we went back to my then-boyfriend's place to chill. He turned on the tv, but I had other ideas. I pulled the rolling chair away from his computer desk, placing myself between him & the tv. I turned the chair backward threw my leg over in what I thought was going to be a seductive manner, whipping my hair a little. Ended up putting my foot down on the edge of the wheelie part on the other side, rolled my ankle, and my momentum carried me all the way over to the floor. I hit the ground, the chair back smashed my face, and my nose started bleeding. Not my brightest moment.
Lamoooo this reminds me of a sexy sexy story, i have a friend that really loves to tease, She loves the atention, once we went shopping and She bought a lolipop, then we went for a coffe, and wille i was driving She started licking the lolipop in a very very sugestive way, ( does nothing for me só i didn't care ) when i was parking i accidentaly hit a very low pole on the parking lot, and She almost swallow the entire f*****g lolipop stick and all, i never laughed só much in my life, She was really pissed at me though lol
Missed the school bus and potential rides to school one morning because I couldn't find my backpack, eventually realized it was on my back.
Lol amateur i once spent 15 minutes looking for my car ant it was right Next to me lol ( i had a white car, changed the color to black, went to a Supermarket, then spent 15 minutes looking for the car, i was about to call the police to report a theft, when i look at my brother leanning in to a black car, and he asked me " are you opening the car you moron, or AM i waiting here the rest of the day "
I like to think I am not stupid, but I have one memory gap that leads people to believe I am dumb as soup.
I cant f*****g recall right and left off the top of my head!
It is so f*****g frustrating!
Last weekend my friend asked for a ride across town since he left his phone at a bar the previous night. Somehow I heard "car" instead of "phone" so dropped him off and drove home. I don't answer calls while I'm driving since I'm a bad driver too, so didn't realize I missed three of his calls til I got home. I'm sure there's others but my memories going pretty fast as well.
I feel like not answering calls when you’re driving doesn’t classify you as a bad driver
In a spelling bee I spelled the word python:
"pee" "why" "eth" "oh" "en"
I was quickly reminded that "eth" is not a letter, though to this day I think that maybe it should be.
I asked my wife who was upstairs to drop my phone down to me. As it was falling I thought it would be cool to catch a phone with one finger. It wasn't.
"I can probably make this jump". Every. Single. Time.
When my girlfriend asked why I am always late when going to her place, my response was "Im only late for things that aren't important".
I turned left onto a one way street (where I should've went right), not SO bad until I panicked and then did U-Turn around the median onto yet another one way street... still going the wrong way.
Enter my first (and only) car accident.
Once coming off the freeway in an unfamiliar part of Seattle, we got to the stop-light at the end of the off-ramp and there was a "One Way" sign that had been knocked askew and was pointing at a weird angle. We weren't sure if it was referring to the cross street we were planning on turning onto, or the street directly opposite us, and there weren't any other cars on the street at the time to give us a clue. When the light changed, my Dad decided to turn left into the closest lane, and only realized he had guessed wrong when we noticed that this was one of those streets that didn't just have a yellow line in the middle to divide the two directions of travel, but an actual curb -- and we were on the wrong side of it. Then, in moving over so he could quickly cross to the right side at the next intersection, he checked his mirror and started laughing -- because four other cars had *followed* us down the wrong lane. Luckily, there was no oncoming traffic at the time.
I drilled into the side of my thigh with a 10mm drill bit while drilling holes through the bottom of one of my girlfriends flower pots.
Edit: This was just a few seconds after it happened before it started bleeding. The bruising is from my skin wrapping around the drill and pulling away from my flesh.
http://i.imgur.com/0FlQCAV.jpg
On a first date in Atlantic City we're in the Tropicana Casino. She was telling me about this place called the Wild Wild West. So me trying to be cute , i got one of the guys who pushes you in a carriage at the boardwalk to give us a lift. When i said Wild wild west he looked at me funny. He finally agreed and literally was the building next door. Im talking like maybe a 50 foot walk. I felt my face turning really red. Good thing my date had a great sense of humor. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. So cringe man
LOL Whoops! He could have gone down the street a bit before turning around. He was not your bro. lmao!
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Walked out of a restaurant bathroom and almost bumped right into a woman coming the other way. I stopped and said "oh, sorry!" and then realised I was talking to a mirror...
Well, not apologizing would be very impolite towards your reflection.
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Drove my mom to the mall years ago. After I shut off the engine, I put the keys in my left hand. We get out, lock the doors, close them and suddenly, I can't find my keys. I use my right hand to search for them. Check my back pockets and front pockets and am about to freak out when I look at my left hand and see I'm still holding them.
This one turned out to be not so stupid. I was in Air Force basic training and our Training Instructor told us he needed a volunteer for a special project. I raised my hand to volunteer, and the instructor says "Good, I need you to clean out a clogged sewer drain.” Everybody thought that was funny including him. But while doing it, I found a gold ring with three diamonds on it. I turned the ring in to the base police. Nobody claimed the ring, so they gave it back to me the day before I graduated. I later sold it to a jewelry store for a few hundred dollars.
Friday, I was absolutely desperate to finish work (I hated it anyway) and relax, left on the dot, walked 20 min to train station, thankfully a short journey to my stop, walk another 15 min to get home. Only to realise I've was in such a rush to leave the office I've left my handbag, with my house keys AND my train pass (back then there was no automatic barriers so I just walked in) at the office. My boyfriend had a key but a) he was working a late shift 40 miles away and b) my phone was in my handbag. Not only I have to make the whole journey back, had to buy a one-way train ticket just in case but also do the walk of shame back to my desk, at the very back of the office so everyone witnessed my stupidity!
Was on the phone with my sister for around 2 hrs. Realized it was getting close to time to leave for work so I started getting ready while we talked. Right as I’m ready to leave to catch my bus I realized I couldn’t find my phone. I started searching everywhere. My sister could hear me shuffling around the house basically destroying it so she asked what was going on. I told her I can’t find my phone. She in turn started naming spots that I’m known for leaving my phone so I was going back and forth between spots she’s suggesting and I’m thinking and not finding it. After about 15 minutes (and missing my bus) my landline rang. I paused the call with my sis to answer that and got off that call quick and picked my cell back up to talk with my sister while I scavenged for my phone with her giving me new suggestions…this continued for about 2 minutes before I burst out laughing hysterically when my sister asked what? Did u find ur phone? Yeah…I’m my hand on that call 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, we both pulled a blonde moment and neither of us thought about that fact that we were both in our cells and not our landlines for that call hahaha
Load More Replies... I worked at a mall and could not find my car late one night. Called my friends, bless them, they drove 25mins to pick my panicky a*s up. They found my car instantly. It was 2 isles over, the lot was empty. I lost my car in an empty parking lot. I will never be allowed to forget this.
Where to start, worst one was rock diving of a 90 foot cliff in Turkey on holiday. Well actually running over the edge and falling cause I can't dive am scared of heights and open water. Great hospital and staff though.
Was at a college buddy's apartment one time to help him put up some shelves on the wall. After, he was rearranging some stuff on the floor right under the shelves. I guess forgot the shelves were there, stood up really fast, and was immediately knocked unconscious by the shelf. After the initial shock and making sure he was ok, I proceeded to laugh harder than I ever had in my life. Even thinking about it now, I can't stop laughing. Was the most absurd thing I've ever seen.
It was last week. I am trying to get a mortgage, timing is really bad but I have to get it,so I'm going round to all the banks trying to get the best deal. Call all my friends and have them pull all the strings they have and finally I get an appointment with a director. Day of it comes, and it's located in a business area with lots and lots of banks. I go to every one of them, asking for this person; in the end someone takes pity on me and calls the central office trying to figure out at which location she is. As the phone rings, I check my messages again, and quickly exit right blurting some excuse. It was the wrong bank. In my defense, they have similar names, 3 letters abbreviation, but... oh my god, I am not the sharpest knife. Now that I have this off my chest I hope it will let me sleep in peace and not torture me anymore.
Good luck on your hunt!! Surely that's not the first time any of those banks have had this happen to them!
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I was maybe 12, hanging out with a friend, and we wanted/needed to iron something. Her room was tiny, so we sat on the bed and put the ironing board on our laps. I just noticed that I can't see the burn scar any more. I'm 44.
I know more than one person who irons clothes while wearing them. Apparently that's a thing.
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I bought one of those Epi-Lady things that removes leg hair with a rotating spring. Leaned over too far to see what I was doing and a hunk of hair got caught in it. It zipped all the way up to my scalp and I had to cut it off, leaving a Bald spot right in front. My only regret was that nobody was home to share in the hilarity.
On a first date in Atlantic City we're in the Tropicana Casino. She was telling me about this place called the Wild Wild West. So me trying to be cute , i got one of the guys who pushes you in a carriage at the boardwalk to give us a lift. When i said Wild wild west he looked at me funny. He finally agreed and literally was the building next door. Im talking like maybe a 50 foot walk. I felt my face turning really red. Good thing my date had a great sense of humor. She thought it was the funniest thing ever. So cringe man
LOL Whoops! He could have gone down the street a bit before turning around. He was not your bro. lmao!
Load More Replies... Walked out of a restaurant bathroom and almost bumped right into a woman coming the other way. I stopped and said "oh, sorry!" and then realised I was talking to a mirror...
Well, not apologizing would be very impolite towards your reflection.
Load More Replies... Drove my mom to the mall years ago. After I shut off the engine, I put the keys in my left hand. We get out, lock the doors, close them and suddenly, I can't find my keys. I use my right hand to search for them. Check my back pockets and front pockets and am about to freak out when I look at my left hand and see I'm still holding them.
This one turned out to be not so stupid. I was in Air Force basic training and our Training Instructor told us he needed a volunteer for a special project. I raised my hand to volunteer, and the instructor says "Good, I need you to clean out a clogged sewer drain.” Everybody thought that was funny including him. But while doing it, I found a gold ring with three diamonds on it. I turned the ring in to the base police. Nobody claimed the ring, so they gave it back to me the day before I graduated. I later sold it to a jewelry store for a few hundred dollars.
Friday, I was absolutely desperate to finish work (I hated it anyway) and relax, left on the dot, walked 20 min to train station, thankfully a short journey to my stop, walk another 15 min to get home. Only to realise I've was in such a rush to leave the office I've left my handbag, with my house keys AND my train pass (back then there was no automatic barriers so I just walked in) at the office. My boyfriend had a key but a) he was working a late shift 40 miles away and b) my phone was in my handbag. Not only I have to make the whole journey back, had to buy a one-way train ticket just in case but also do the walk of shame back to my desk, at the very back of the office so everyone witnessed my stupidity!
Was on the phone with my sister for around 2 hrs. Realized it was getting close to time to leave for work so I started getting ready while we talked. Right as I’m ready to leave to catch my bus I realized I couldn’t find my phone. I started searching everywhere. My sister could hear me shuffling around the house basically destroying it so she asked what was going on. I told her I can’t find my phone. She in turn started naming spots that I’m known for leaving my phone so I was going back and forth between spots she’s suggesting and I’m thinking and not finding it. After about 15 minutes (and missing my bus) my landline rang. I paused the call with my sis to answer that and got off that call quick and picked my cell back up to talk with my sister while I scavenged for my phone with her giving me new suggestions…this continued for about 2 minutes before I burst out laughing hysterically when my sister asked what? Did u find ur phone? Yeah…I’m my hand on that call 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, we both pulled a blonde moment and neither of us thought about that fact that we were both in our cells and not our landlines for that call hahaha
Load More Replies... I worked at a mall and could not find my car late one night. Called my friends, bless them, they drove 25mins to pick my panicky a*s up. They found my car instantly. It was 2 isles over, the lot was empty. I lost my car in an empty parking lot. I will never be allowed to forget this.
Where to start, worst one was rock diving of a 90 foot cliff in Turkey on holiday. Well actually running over the edge and falling cause I can't dive am scared of heights and open water. Great hospital and staff though.
Was at a college buddy's apartment one time to help him put up some shelves on the wall. After, he was rearranging some stuff on the floor right under the shelves. I guess forgot the shelves were there, stood up really fast, and was immediately knocked unconscious by the shelf. After the initial shock and making sure he was ok, I proceeded to laugh harder than I ever had in my life. Even thinking about it now, I can't stop laughing. Was the most absurd thing I've ever seen.
It was last week. I am trying to get a mortgage, timing is really bad but I have to get it,so I'm going round to all the banks trying to get the best deal. Call all my friends and have them pull all the strings they have and finally I get an appointment with a director. Day of it comes, and it's located in a business area with lots and lots of banks. I go to every one of them, asking for this person; in the end someone takes pity on me and calls the central office trying to figure out at which location she is. As the phone rings, I check my messages again, and quickly exit right blurting some excuse. It was the wrong bank. In my defense, they have similar names, 3 letters abbreviation, but... oh my god, I am not the sharpest knife. Now that I have this off my chest I hope it will let me sleep in peace and not torture me anymore.
Good luck on your hunt!! Surely that's not the first time any of those banks have had this happen to them!
Load More Replies... I was maybe 12, hanging out with a friend, and we wanted/needed to iron something. Her room was tiny, so we sat on the bed and put the ironing board on our laps. I just noticed that I can't see the burn scar any more. I'm 44.
I know more than one person who irons clothes while wearing them. Apparently that's a thing.
Load More Replies... I bought one of those Epi-Lady things that removes leg hair with a rotating spring. Leaned over too far to see what I was doing and a hunk of hair got caught in it. It zipped all the way up to my scalp and I had to cut it off, leaving a Bald spot right in front. My only regret was that nobody was home to share in the hilarity.
