Woman Sick And Tired Of Her Neighbor Treating Her Like A Concierge Because She Gets All Of Their Packages
Chances are, you’re living somewhere where there’s bound to be at least one neighbor situated right next to your home. And while neighbors don’t necessarily have to be a bad thing as they come in all shapes and sizes, the shape and size everyone tries to avoid is the annoying one.
And by annoying, we mean that it can be anything that drives you nuts—them being loud, disrespectful, destructive, whatever. These sound like extremes, and they are to some degree, but what if I told you that there are neighbors who also take annoyance to the next level by not taking it to the extreme?
This one woman has recently shared a story of their new neighbor who turned out to be very annoying with how he approaches online shopping and package delivery.
More Info: MumsNet
While it’s nice when a neighbor accepts a package for you when you’re away, it’s not so nice when it’s weeks on end with several packages a day
Image credits: Paula Satijn (not the actual photo)
So, a woman by the nickname of Frazzled2207 went to MumsNet, an online parent forum, to rant a little bit about a neighbor she has.
You see, she has recently moved into a new neighborhood, and she has 4 neighbors, two on each side of her house. On one side, it’s a regular house affair, but on the other the two neighbors seem to be living a more lavish lifestyle and are actually very fenced off—with a tall wall and electric gates and everything.
The only not-so-lavish thing about it is that the intercom plus doorbell at the gate is busted, so there isn’t really a practical way of getting the neighbor’s attention if someone is at the door. Folks have to call them all the time.
One woman actually went online to ask if it’s unreasonable of her to stop accepting all of the heaps of packages for her neighbor
Image credits: Frazzled2207
Why are these weird details important? Well, while the neighbors are friendly and all, it has become apparent that they aren’t all that responsive when, say, a delivery guy or gal comes over with a package. It becomes an even bigger issue as they seem to be ordering a lot of packages. Like several each day.
And what do the delivery people do? Why, of course, approach the nearest accessible house, which is OP’s home, and ask her if they could accept the package. At first, it seemed fine, she used to do it with her old neighbors, and they would return the favor, but this time around nobody’s returning anything, and the woman soon found out there are no plans on fixing the darned intercom either, so this is her life now.
The reason why the neighbor doesn’t accept their own packages is because they live behind a huge wall with a broken intercom
Image credits: Frazzled2207
With all of that said, OP turned to other parents on the forum for some advice, asking if she’d be unreasonable to not be a “concierge” of sorts and to confront her neighbors on the matter. And if so, she also asked what would be the best approach here.
And as it turns out, they don’t want to fix the intercom, and the couriers keep pestering the neighbor woman
Image credits: Frazzled2207
And folks had some ideas on how to do it. For the most part, folks suggested simply stopping accepting parcels—ain’t nothing rude or passive aggressive about that as it just means it isn’t your problem. Besides, if the neighbors can’t be bothered to accept the packages, why should anyone else at this point?
Image credits: William J Sisti (not the actual photo)
Mostly, folks were of the opinion that she should just stop accepting the packages and that’s it
Others suggested that if they do end up refusing, the packages can always be sent to an automated delivery point where they could retrieve it whenever. Or not. In any case, it would be the neighbor’s problem at that point. Another very petty (and aware of it) internaut suggested taking them in and just throwing them over the fence.
While the post itself got some modest attention online, getting several hundred responses, some news outlets picked it up and popularized it further. You can check out the post in context here, but don’t go just yet as we’d love to hear some “wrong answers” to this question because we love to spice it up sometimes in the comment section below!
I text my neighbors when they have a package sitting outside their door. If they ask me to take it in, I will. However, I WILL NOT sign for a package. I will then be responsible for it.
I'd be tempted to see packages delivered to my house that aren't in my name as being gifts from the Package Delivery Universe and claim them myself. But, if you want to be NICE about it, stop accepting deliveries for healthy people too entitled to get a gate fixed. Logically, if you accept the package's delivery, it's your responsibility from there on out. Who wants that kind of responsibility especially when you're not even being thanked for doing it?
And who knows what is being delivered? It could be illegal drugs or items and they wait to see if the feds knock on your door. When they feel it is safe they go get it from you. Am i looking to deep into this?
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This sounds like the neighbours have assumed that OP will behave exactly the same as the previous residents. I think the passive-aggressive approach is the best way to handle this, however I would consider the friendliness of the neighbours, as angry neighbours can make life hell.
How is it passive-aggressive? It is not her responsibility at all, just don't do it.
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I cop for a lot of these as I live in a small apartment block and I work from home, so I am the one who is always in when deliveries come a-callin. I would be inclined to stop taking them, which will have exactly the same effect as if you were out and couldn't take them. After a few trips to some of the more obscure delivery offices they will get their intercom fixed!
Similar issue with our neighbour, we tried to be kind at the start and take in parcels and accept the insane noise coming from their house. But after asking them nicely to keep the noise down, they decided not to, so we decided not to take any more packages. Most of the time they're actually home, but are making too much noise to hear the delivery guys knocking at the door. I had an argument with one Amazon driver yesterday because I refused to take a package for them - it's not my problem.
I would check with your municipality, having a gated property that is inaccessible to delivery and'or service people may be a violation of the city/municipal bylaws, since access is legally required for utility workers, postal service and emergency services. If they need an ambulance or fire truck, do they expect her to accept or otherwise take care of that too?
Yes!! Apparently OP hasn't thought about that, and I know it's very likely that there is some kind of bylaw about that!
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i have never had a delivery person asking me to take in a neighbors parcel or vice versa, because they usually place a card for the receiver to collect instead!
Two thoughts: Stop taking in the packages. Period. Maybe you're not home, maybe you're sleeping, maybe your doorbell is broken. You are not obligated. It has nothing to do with you. and 2} Am I the only one finding it bizarre that there are these long reposts from Reddit that are fully self-explanatory, but BP rewrites the whole thing *twice* ..once to "explain" and another to title the explanation with the bullet point of the post? All of these AITA type of things.
I think this all depends on what kind of relationship you have with the neighbors in other respects, too. Do they go out of their way to do you favors as well? Do they bring you produce from their garden, or baked goodies? Do you have the kind of relationship with a lot of give and take? If so, you at least should feel you can ask them, "Hey, do you think you can fix your doorbell, because I'm not comfortable being responsible for your packages?" OTOH, if your relationship is not much more than a friendly wave when you see them out, just tell them, "I'm done accepting your packages. Fix your fecking doorbell. Or not. I don't care."
Why does BP re-write these posts 2 times? They post the OP, then write what each panel says, again, then writes a bold title to the explanation to tell you what you're going to read. But you already did. Kind of weird to me. And M'am? Stop taking in the parcels. You have no obligation to do so, it's not your job, you have a life, you might not be home, you are not a Minion. All delivery services or shops ask if there are any delivery instructions they need to be aware of so it's up to them to bother to tell them.
Just don't accept. Tell the delivery guys to send the package back and make a note on the system that these people don't answer the door so immediately return the item after the agreed number of redleiveries and not to bother you again. Problem solved.
Why do delivery drivers in the US (Im assuming this is the US) even leave packages with neighbours anyway? Who knows how trustworthy the neighbours are. In any case, for this I would just stop accepting them. Don't answer the door, ask the drivers to find another neighbour, whatever it takes. If the neighbours asks, just deny everything to keep the peace. "Oh, was there a delivery attempt? no one knocked on -my- door/I wasn't home/Must have been when I was in the bathroom."
I don’t think this was in the US. I live in the US and I’ve never heard of this happening here. Usually the package will be left outside your door or in your apartment lobby, unless it needs a signature or has some other special delivery instructions, in which case they usually leave a notification slip saying when they’ll retry delivery. Plus, OP wrote neighbour and parcel - doesn’t sound like the US. She said some of them were Royal Mail packages and I believe that is British.
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Op is under no obligation to notify neighbor they will stop accepting deliveries. The neighbor is used to receiving packages on a regular basis and as soon as they stop getting them they will inquire. Then the OP tells them they don't want the liability of accepting them, they have stopped. Neighbor will then fix their doorbell/intercom if they want to continue receiving packages. Problem solved.
Why is this even a thing? Once was being nice. Now stop. Politely decline to accept packages. The neighbors will fix the buzzer, or they won't. NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
When you next see them, say, "I'm sorry, but I need to ask you to fix your gate's bell. I work from home and I can't be disturbed several times a day to accept your packages."
Could you add a sign to the gate saying: bell broken, call mobile for deliveries. That way it stops the delivery's coming to you?
Or put a sign on your door saying "only deliveries with this address may be left".
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Why can't the delivery call their phone then? That's what they do here most of the time and you go out and get it (mostly so they don't have to leave their vehicle but still). I wouldn't want to sign for a neighbors things anyway, especially not someone with a posh lifestyle - I'd be afraid to get the blame and be accused if something in their order was wrong.
Send a letter to them saying that parcels will no longer be accepted by yourself. They have then been notified and then if they don't get the parcels it is tough titties to them for not sorting out the situation.
It's a shame when people take advantage of other's good will. The OP should just refuse the packages since it isn't her job. If neighbors tipped her or some kind of reimbursement, then maybe. This is a good example of give an inch, take afoot.
Um, EXCUSE ME? Why the f*ck are you even asking this question? You already know the answer and it's NO. Stop being this neighbor's b*tch. NO is a complete sentence.
After talking to them with no effort to fix on their part....Five words. Return to sender. Addressee unknown. If no one is answered they must have moved. IDK.
I'm the one who has a forever-broken-bell and videophone turned off (I can't stand random unexpected noises). However, if I expect a parcel or food delivery I'm temporarily turning it on, or I order stuff to the work address. I just can't imagine burdening someone else, almost a stranger, with that.
I had a problem when I moved with FedEx delivering my packages to my neighbor and she went full on mental over it. It was not my fault. I called FedEx, provided written instructions, left notes, you name it. They still kept doing it. And my psychotic neighbor started leaving me threats, like I was responsible. She literally wrote all over one of my deliveries how she was fed up and going to start throwing my deliveries in the dumpster. I finally had to get my landlord involved because it was crazy. I am still completely neurotic now when I have a delivery coming.
I would stop taking in packages I would tell the neighbour to fix the intercom!
I don't interact with my neighbors. I say hi to their dogs when they run up to the fence though. I'll give them mail that was accidentally delivered to us but I don't want to be friends. If a neighbor's dog is loose, I'll break the sound barrier chasing them down and returning them but I won't chase down their car just because they left their coffee on top. Polite nodding or waving is fine. I just can't do the social things. It exhausts me and TBH, I don't see why should I stand in my yard listening to how little Suzy is taking piano lessons when all I wanna do is put on my pjs and cuddle with my dog? I'll just end up needing a week (or more) to recharge.
If you’re concerned about maintaining a neighborly appearance, then you could still occasionally accept a parcel but simple don’t answer the door every day and claim that you’re out. That way you can still be neighborly but they also get the message that you won’t be receiving every delivery for them.
My primary concern outside of inconvenience would be legality. Literally we had a case on the radio yesterday; customs intercepted drug package, replaced contents and added a listening device. This woman intended the drugs for herself (we assume) but had specifically addressed it to someone not living at the address (plausible deniability). It was the listening device in this case that caught her..,
Maybe a month ago, I heard a delivery service trying to deliver something to my nextdoor neighbors. Apparently they weren't home, so the delivery service expected me to take the package instead. We'd only just moved in, hadn't even met the neighbors yet, so I said no. The delivery guy seemed surprised.
That's an option, but with 2 or more deliveries per day, who has room to stack all that up? Not me.
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Just be a thoughtful neighbour and help the couriers do their work without delays. e.g. place an informative the sign that says: "if the doorbell is not working, leave the packages behind this sign" Now the busy UPS courier have been instructed and he/se does not take time on wondering what to do and you are not bothered.
I text my neighbors when they have a package sitting outside their door. If they ask me to take it in, I will. However, I WILL NOT sign for a package. I will then be responsible for it.
I'd be tempted to see packages delivered to my house that aren't in my name as being gifts from the Package Delivery Universe and claim them myself. But, if you want to be NICE about it, stop accepting deliveries for healthy people too entitled to get a gate fixed. Logically, if you accept the package's delivery, it's your responsibility from there on out. Who wants that kind of responsibility especially when you're not even being thanked for doing it?
And who knows what is being delivered? It could be illegal drugs or items and they wait to see if the feds knock on your door. When they feel it is safe they go get it from you. Am i looking to deep into this?
Load More Replies... This sounds like the neighbours have assumed that OP will behave exactly the same as the previous residents. I think the passive-aggressive approach is the best way to handle this, however I would consider the friendliness of the neighbours, as angry neighbours can make life hell.
How is it passive-aggressive? It is not her responsibility at all, just don't do it.
Load More Replies... I cop for a lot of these as I live in a small apartment block and I work from home, so I am the one who is always in when deliveries come a-callin. I would be inclined to stop taking them, which will have exactly the same effect as if you were out and couldn't take them. After a few trips to some of the more obscure delivery offices they will get their intercom fixed!
Similar issue with our neighbour, we tried to be kind at the start and take in parcels and accept the insane noise coming from their house. But after asking them nicely to keep the noise down, they decided not to, so we decided not to take any more packages. Most of the time they're actually home, but are making too much noise to hear the delivery guys knocking at the door. I had an argument with one Amazon driver yesterday because I refused to take a package for them - it's not my problem.
I would check with your municipality, having a gated property that is inaccessible to delivery and'or service people may be a violation of the city/municipal bylaws, since access is legally required for utility workers, postal service and emergency services. If they need an ambulance or fire truck, do they expect her to accept or otherwise take care of that too?
Yes!! Apparently OP hasn't thought about that, and I know it's very likely that there is some kind of bylaw about that!
Load More Replies... i have never had a delivery person asking me to take in a neighbors parcel or vice versa, because they usually place a card for the receiver to collect instead!
Two thoughts: Stop taking in the packages. Period. Maybe you're not home, maybe you're sleeping, maybe your doorbell is broken. You are not obligated. It has nothing to do with you. and 2} Am I the only one finding it bizarre that there are these long reposts from Reddit that are fully self-explanatory, but BP rewrites the whole thing *twice* ..once to "explain" and another to title the explanation with the bullet point of the post? All of these AITA type of things.
I think this all depends on what kind of relationship you have with the neighbors in other respects, too. Do they go out of their way to do you favors as well? Do they bring you produce from their garden, or baked goodies? Do you have the kind of relationship with a lot of give and take? If so, you at least should feel you can ask them, "Hey, do you think you can fix your doorbell, because I'm not comfortable being responsible for your packages?" OTOH, if your relationship is not much more than a friendly wave when you see them out, just tell them, "I'm done accepting your packages. Fix your fecking doorbell. Or not. I don't care."
Why does BP re-write these posts 2 times? They post the OP, then write what each panel says, again, then writes a bold title to the explanation to tell you what you're going to read. But you already did. Kind of weird to me. And M'am? Stop taking in the parcels. You have no obligation to do so, it's not your job, you have a life, you might not be home, you are not a Minion. All delivery services or shops ask if there are any delivery instructions they need to be aware of so it's up to them to bother to tell them.
Just don't accept. Tell the delivery guys to send the package back and make a note on the system that these people don't answer the door so immediately return the item after the agreed number of redleiveries and not to bother you again. Problem solved.
Why do delivery drivers in the US (Im assuming this is the US) even leave packages with neighbours anyway? Who knows how trustworthy the neighbours are. In any case, for this I would just stop accepting them. Don't answer the door, ask the drivers to find another neighbour, whatever it takes. If the neighbours asks, just deny everything to keep the peace. "Oh, was there a delivery attempt? no one knocked on -my- door/I wasn't home/Must have been when I was in the bathroom."
I don’t think this was in the US. I live in the US and I’ve never heard of this happening here. Usually the package will be left outside your door or in your apartment lobby, unless it needs a signature or has some other special delivery instructions, in which case they usually leave a notification slip saying when they’ll retry delivery. Plus, OP wrote neighbour and parcel - doesn’t sound like the US. She said some of them were Royal Mail packages and I believe that is British.
Load More Replies... Op is under no obligation to notify neighbor they will stop accepting deliveries. The neighbor is used to receiving packages on a regular basis and as soon as they stop getting them they will inquire. Then the OP tells them they don't want the liability of accepting them, they have stopped. Neighbor will then fix their doorbell/intercom if they want to continue receiving packages. Problem solved.
Why is this even a thing? Once was being nice. Now stop. Politely decline to accept packages. The neighbors will fix the buzzer, or they won't. NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
When you next see them, say, "I'm sorry, but I need to ask you to fix your gate's bell. I work from home and I can't be disturbed several times a day to accept your packages."
Could you add a sign to the gate saying: bell broken, call mobile for deliveries. That way it stops the delivery's coming to you?
Or put a sign on your door saying "only deliveries with this address may be left".
Load More Replies... Why can't the delivery call their phone then? That's what they do here most of the time and you go out and get it (mostly so they don't have to leave their vehicle but still). I wouldn't want to sign for a neighbors things anyway, especially not someone with a posh lifestyle - I'd be afraid to get the blame and be accused if something in their order was wrong.
Send a letter to them saying that parcels will no longer be accepted by yourself. They have then been notified and then if they don't get the parcels it is tough titties to them for not sorting out the situation.
It's a shame when people take advantage of other's good will. The OP should just refuse the packages since it isn't her job. If neighbors tipped her or some kind of reimbursement, then maybe. This is a good example of give an inch, take afoot.
Um, EXCUSE ME? Why the f*ck are you even asking this question? You already know the answer and it's NO. Stop being this neighbor's b*tch. NO is a complete sentence.
After talking to them with no effort to fix on their part....Five words. Return to sender. Addressee unknown. If no one is answered they must have moved. IDK.
I'm the one who has a forever-broken-bell and videophone turned off (I can't stand random unexpected noises). However, if I expect a parcel or food delivery I'm temporarily turning it on, or I order stuff to the work address. I just can't imagine burdening someone else, almost a stranger, with that.
I had a problem when I moved with FedEx delivering my packages to my neighbor and she went full on mental over it. It was not my fault. I called FedEx, provided written instructions, left notes, you name it. They still kept doing it. And my psychotic neighbor started leaving me threats, like I was responsible. She literally wrote all over one of my deliveries how she was fed up and going to start throwing my deliveries in the dumpster. I finally had to get my landlord involved because it was crazy. I am still completely neurotic now when I have a delivery coming.
I would stop taking in packages I would tell the neighbour to fix the intercom!
I don't interact with my neighbors. I say hi to their dogs when they run up to the fence though. I'll give them mail that was accidentally delivered to us but I don't want to be friends. If a neighbor's dog is loose, I'll break the sound barrier chasing them down and returning them but I won't chase down their car just because they left their coffee on top. Polite nodding or waving is fine. I just can't do the social things. It exhausts me and TBH, I don't see why should I stand in my yard listening to how little Suzy is taking piano lessons when all I wanna do is put on my pjs and cuddle with my dog? I'll just end up needing a week (or more) to recharge.
If you’re concerned about maintaining a neighborly appearance, then you could still occasionally accept a parcel but simple don’t answer the door every day and claim that you’re out. That way you can still be neighborly but they also get the message that you won’t be receiving every delivery for them.
My primary concern outside of inconvenience would be legality. Literally we had a case on the radio yesterday; customs intercepted drug package, replaced contents and added a listening device. This woman intended the drugs for herself (we assume) but had specifically addressed it to someone not living at the address (plausible deniability). It was the listening device in this case that caught her..,
Maybe a month ago, I heard a delivery service trying to deliver something to my nextdoor neighbors. Apparently they weren't home, so the delivery service expected me to take the package instead. We'd only just moved in, hadn't even met the neighbors yet, so I said no. The delivery guy seemed surprised.
That's an option, but with 2 or more deliveries per day, who has room to stack all that up? Not me.
Load More Replies... Just be a thoughtful neighbour and help the couriers do their work without delays. e.g. place an informative the sign that says: "if the doorbell is not working, leave the packages behind this sign" Now the busy UPS courier have been instructed and he/se does not take time on wondering what to do and you are not bothered.
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