I’ve Been Suffering From DPDR For Over 3 Years Now, And I Want People To Know What It’s Like (10 Comics)

I thought this was how everyone felt.

Thank you for sharing! Been experiencing derealisation for over 2 years & I haven't been able have someone understand it, other than people on the internet. Some days it absorbs me and I find myself obsessing over what it is, why it is, and how to fix it (is it congestion in the ears, nose, and throat? or the start of MS/dimensia? is it something in my diet?). It's hard to accept that one day I popped into this and I'll never pop back out... I try to stay busy enough so I don't have a free moment to have it surface... those are the good days. I try to make the most of it - came across a few articles on how it's kind of like a dark version of enlightenment, and a bit of a gift in that sense.

I've had this many times when on my own, stressed or lacking sleep. I thought it was normal. But, the idea of having those obsessive thoughts constantly must be awful.

I used to experience that for years when I was in my teens. My therapist didn't even know about it. I could only afford a counselor though, so that may be why. People would tell me they felt that way too, but I was always doubtful. What helped me was dealing with the root of it, which I think had a lot to do with my OCD and anxiety. I still deal with those two, but manage it better, and DP/DR seems to have gone almost all away for more than a decade. I have had a few hiccups, but instead of going down the rabbithole, they pass, and they are not as intense. Sometimes, when I get wrapped up into my current issues, I forget that it can be a whole lot worse. This doesn't have to be a permanent state. I'm no mental health professional, and I really am not totally sure if I am right in my assessment of how I overcame it, but the fact is, I did, aside from the rare minor hiccups of it in the last like 15 years. Wow, I counted, and it's been that long.

This is the first time I've ever seen information about depersonalization/derealization shared publicly. The world needs to know this.

DP/DR is, in the vast majority of cases, nothing more than a symptom of anxiety. The problem is the sensation of DP/DR is so scary that sufferers (including myself once) start to worry about the sensations and get stuck thinking about how to cure themselves 100% of the time. All this does is feed the anxiety and therefore the DP/DR stays around. Anti anxiety medication can help, but ultimately the sufferer needs to start accepting the sensations for what they are and slowly the fear will fade and the sensations will fade. Personally I found CBT therapy very useful in helping me come of this horror as it showed me where it comes from and why I felt like I did. It also helps to find the root cause of the anxiety (if not already known) and start to act to address that.

wow-john smith is a total moronic asshhole

JSmith, I sincerely hope that those in your family who have mental illness are able to find love and support from someone else, because it's clearly not coming from you. Cavities and gingivitis are not made up illnesses . Nearsightedness and glaucoma are not made up illnesses. Breast cancer and appendicitis are not made up illnesses. Mental health diagnoses are not made up illnesses.

got a suggestion: get off your butt and take a walk. Look at some birds. Get out of your head; it's not a healthy place to be. but for the goddess' sake, don't go scurrying off to some doctor for more meds. Radical self-reliance will get your further. i've had a career-ending stroke, cancer and other diagnoses but wouldn't see a doctor if you paid m,e.

So THAT'S what that is. I used to have brief episodes of that when I was a kid, particularly if I stared at my hands for too long. Interesting.

I used to have this, and it turned out to be caused by Temporal Lobe Epilepsy (TLE). The partial seizures associated with it have no outward physical manifestation, and are really really hard to describe, but symptoms like these can be typical. Once I started on anti-seizure meds they went away. I hadn't realised how many other things it was affecting too - I was suddenly less anxious and overwhelmed, it was like an actual physical weight I didn't know was there was lifted off me. I was very lucky that the therapist I was seeing was familiar with it and eventually managed to identify it might be the issue. It's not something a lot of people know about or would consider. If anyone is experiencing this and are having trouble tying it down to a particular mental illness it might be worth looking up TLE and speaking to a neurologist.

I had this for years, decades. At first it was a feeling like I was behind a glass wall and I couldn't touch other people (I couldn't connect) and that was the start of it. I was in my early 20s. It then progressed to becoming severely depersonalised in response to stress. At one point, becoming so bad my body became numb and I could not feel myself peeing whilst in the bathroom. Because I couldn't feel myself, I worried I was talking and not knowing it. I had a lot of therapy through out the years, and tried a lot of medication. Eventually, I discovered things about myself that helped me, that kept me connected to myself instead of fleeing or breaking that connection to avoid being present because I felt it was too dangerous to be present. I also found a medication that helped, a career that helped, a very good counselor, I came out to myself in various ways, dealt with a lot of trauma, learned new coping mechanisms with did take decades.

All these years I've just called it my "here but not here" feeling. I can behave as if nothing unusual is going on, but that I'm really "out there" somewhere. Thank you for revealing the name for that. It's as much a relief as when I first got a name for my compulsions - OCD.

Lulu, When it first came on 7 years ago, I too had both DP/DR and it was so scary! Currently I only have the Derealization and it is constant. I suffered in silence for years because I had seen three medical doctors and they did all kinds of expensive brain tests/scans/labs and it was a "normal". I finally saw a psychologist and was diagnosed with derealization associated with PTSD. You mean I'm not crazy and there are others going through this exact thing?! I was so relieved! Thank you for sharing your comics and for bringing light on a not well known disorder! Also, recently I had the realization that if the DP/DR is my body's reaction to stress, why am I wanting it to go away so badly? So I have now learned to cope by ignoring it under normal conditions and then relishing in it in stressful times. I am so much happier now! I have sang and spoken in front of crowds of people that way- I would never had done that before! I hope this helps ♥️ ((hugs))

This is really useful for myself, actually. I find it so difficult to explain what it feels like to have DPDR and it's really nice to see it put into simpler terms. I chuckled when I read "I can't look at you your face is too strange", cos that literally happens to me all the time! Thanks for this comic, it's lovely. xx

A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you need to write more on this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but usually people don't talk about these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!

Or maybe you are a starseed?

These comics are exactly how I feel...difference is I thought it was normal!

I suffered from this for a few months about 30 years ago. In retrospect, I believe that it was a symptom of generalized anxiety. Since I did not understand it, it brought on more anxiety and the cycle seemed endless. I thought I was going insane. Then, it stopped, probably when I made some changes in my life that helped alleviate my anxiety, and never came back. I remember vividly the struggle, though, and I can only wish all the sufferers out there to be able to get rid of those nasty episodes. Hang in there!

I've told people about feeling as if I'm mentally a foot in front of my body. I'm so grateful for your post. Speaking up means others like myself feel less alone.

This is so strange, I have this feelings many times.Especially being suddenly afraid of my hands or legs if they "appear" next to me because I don't recognize them or not really recognizing people/myself. When I look directly into the mirror (eyecontact) I feel as if someone is wearing my face in disguise from the other side, so I try to focus on the small things (hair, mouth) with a fast glance. Or I lie beneath my husband and he somehow seems "not right" so I have to get up and leave the room. This is really ringing a bell. But I am very used to it (when I was younger I feared something was wrong with me but was too ashamed to talk about it). I don't know if I fall into this category but it is sure nice to read about someone experiencing the same feelings/thoughts!

You are not alone! Have hope, things get better!

This happened dramatically for me when I was 13 years old. I remember the fear and confusion, that everyone and everything lost its reality. This state has constantly persisted and sent me on a deep spiritual search for who (or what) I truly am.

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It's been more than two years since you wrote this but are u feeling better now? I too have been experiencing this prblm and i am scared what if it doesn't go away at all, what if can never look at the world in the same way?

I just discovered the term Derealization today. I've been living with this nonstop for the past 4 years and did not know what to call it. I tried describing it as seeing the world through the perspective of playing a VR game. Everything is only as real as it is within the game, but even so, the existence of the things themselves feel strange. It's a very Meta way to perceive reality.

this is so validating... it so accurately describes what i’ve felt 24/7 for years. thank you so, so much.

Hi Lulu! I suffered both DP/DR when it first came on me 7 yrs ago, but currently only have the Derealization. I have it constantly too and I also thought I was going crazy for years because I had went to three different medical doctors and they ran all kinds of expensive tests that came up normal. I finally saw a psychologist two years ago and she diagnosed me. It was a huge relief- I'm not crazy and there are others like me?! Thank you for sharing your comics and for bringing light to a disorder so unknown! Also, recently I had the realization of the fact that DP/DR is my body's reaction to stress (I have PTSD) so why am I wishing so hard for it to go away? Now I have learned to instead cope with it and ignore it in normal situations and to relish in it for stressful situations. I am much happier now. I hope this helps ❤️ ((hugs))

I read this article with interest, the symptoms look awful for those who suffer from it. Is there much help out in the 'real world's for this illness? I can honestly say I have never heard of this particular type of dis-association before but it's a brave thing your doing! Thank you for enlightening me

Hi Lulu, I am super grateful that I can message you. I also used to have terrible depersonalization and disassociation symptoms and panic attacks where the feelings of unreality and impending insanity would accelerate until I became terrified. It's interesting because you wrote how marijuana would increase the symptoms, and I found that when I smoked it, it would make the depersonalization extremely strong to the point where I felt like I was floating feet above my head and looking down a tunnel to my body walking around on autopilot down below me, and it was horrible. But by forcing myself to smoke medical marijuana legally, with a trusted friend: I actually was able to heal my fear and panic by getting myself acclimated to those sensations. I learned reassure myself that I wasn't about to die, and wasn't about to go crazy, and just observe the sensations of floating above myself and how it felt, and eventual learn to enjoy them. Without fear I felt grounded and 'real' again

I have spent years with these symptoms. They never abate, and require no trigger. While I have never really had difficulty articulating my experience, I wonder if people believe me. I know how lucid and quick-witted I sound when I speak. I know that I am in a perpetual state of hyper-vigilance, perhaps to compensate for what I perceive to be weakness. I am open and forthcoming with most everything, and have had absolutely no luck with therapy, save for some weapons-grade medication. I've no history of trauma to speak of, a supportive family and partner, and a job I don't hate. So why do I feel this way? Will it ever go away? I'm done with this.

Lulu, I sincerely feel bad for you and others in this or other, I wonder if there is enough research for all mental issues, it must be extremely difficult for you, have you been on medication ? I pray a doctor will find medication to help. !!!

wow,i am living like this for 5 years now, i deal with depression too and the dpdr came after.its realy strange the all time felling that you dont belong anywere and everything is unreal.Thanks for sharing,say hi to Brazillll