‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Some men have low self esteem and think they won't find anyone else.
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Diamonds are overrated. There are much more affordable rocks that look prettier anyway. And you can propose without a ring at all.
I want to be proposed to with an amethyst or something
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I have the tiniest ring, but it belonged to my husband's grandmother who raised him. His grandfather and her lived in poverty and he went through great lengths just to be able to buy this tiny rings with a tiny diamond that has granny's pride and joy. I feel absolutely honored to wear her ring and would not exchange it for any larger shinier ring ever. Besides that - we saved enough to have a Honeymoon that we will remember for every.
Okay. But "dear greedy c***ts"? If you're straight up addressing strangers like this, please 'reevaluate' your life and maybe lay off the social media.
I don't know if this is relevant, but it's quite a common phrase in the UK and Australia. It doesn't have the same kind of misogynist connotations as the USA.
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I never had an engagement ring. We were young, didn't have much money, and an expensive ring just wasn't a priority. Still married, 33 years later.
I got an engagement ring on about our 5th anniversary. It's priority level was so low, we both just forgot. He got me the biggest one he thought I'd ware (not very big) and I never had heart to tell him it was still a very low priority. Been together over 20 years.
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I mean, yeah. I'd accept. Only person who would be proposing to me is logically someone I would love and want to marry. Doesn't matter if he gives me that or goes the Bill and Ted route.
I get really sick of the ads at Mother’s Day and Christmas showing women oohing and aahing over diamonds. These ads make it look like that’s all we as women give a damn about. I love jewelry too, but I would love to see an ad of a man washing dishes or doing the laundry as a “gift”.
I would accept a fruit loops ring if we really loved each other.
I proposed to my now-husband, and we went and bought rings together. We're still together 32 years later, as our relationship is not built on tiny shiny rocks, but on mutual respect and love.
No rocks?? Don't let a penguin hear you say that! (I kid... happy upcoming 33rd anniversary, whenever it is)
Load More Replies... I was so eager for my now husband to propose I said he could do it with a string and I wouldn't care. And I was serious. He was the one saying he wanted to get something better than a string for me. Lol. I love him. That's the point.
Personally, I would love a small, simple ring like this. Who tf needs a whole BOULDER on their finger? When people are ungrateful about presents, especially engagement rings, it just reeks of entitlement to me. The only valid excuse is if someone bought something specifically that they knew the receiver won't like.
Yes, I would marry him! I dated him! He PROPOSED! WITH A RING! I would honestly expect a Cheeto Puff in the box, of course I'm marrying him!
Yes! Onion rings are also perfectly acceptable as a ring of engagment too! As is the ring around the bathtub!
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A man could propose to me with a Ring Pop and I would be delighted that someone wants to spend their life with me.
If he knows you want to be proposed to with a ring pop, that's great. But if you expected something else, that would make it an insult.
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Agree --- he should have given at least one size up if not two; see how tight it is? And with age your fingers definitely swell (as they anyway do summer vs winter). Rest of ring is OK.
I would accept even if he proposed with only a cigar band! Damn materialistic people. Looks aren't important, money isn't important.
Honestly, the whole idea of an engagement ring smacks of marking your property...and women are not property.
Don't accept, but not because of the price, because it is so small the blood won't flow and your finger will die.
I really don't get why it is expected that men have to spend a couple of monthly salaries for a piece of rock in order to prove something that is not tangible, to prove their emotional affection that stands as the opposite of materialism. So, yeah, love cannot be bought, it's more valuable than anything physical, but if I don't get an overpriced carbon in a shape of a transparent rock I'm supposed to be very very disappointed - like wtf?
I still don't get why women want to be marked as 'owned'. This is such an outdated practice. If both wore engagement rings that would be cute and a celebration of the relationship.
Huh, TIL men don't wear engagement rings. I had always thought that both would have engagement ring but I have never paid enough attention to notice either way. About the picture; I would accept if I felt we were ready for marriage but I would absolutely change the ring unless it was an heirloom. I would never use a ring with a raised gem (I'm not sure what the correct term is, english is not my first language) because it would get caught in everything and just cause problems. Besides I love the look of "flat" rings with some beautiful decorative engravings. If I had to get a gem, it would probably be some blue gem because I love blue.
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I really don’t get why people equate a material item (a ring) to love. It’s irrelevant.
A small ring would be very welcome on my finger. Much easier to do tasks with than having some big rock snag on everything and scratch.
I only put mine on when I'm going out - it's not a diamond and the stone isn't quite as robust (7 on the Mohs scale) and so I'm definitely not doing housework etc with it on!
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MTV programmes are superficial and materialistic, making your people believe love and money are the same thing: the bigger the ring, the more he loves you.
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My ring is morganite. It’s pretty pale pink & it means “stone of divine love” or something. I almost went with moonstone. I didn’t want & couldn’t afford a blood diamond. Besides it’s about the marriage not the ring or wedding. I’ve been with my partner 10+ years now & we just had a baby 🥰
No. I am a minor. When I am an adult…depends on who. And if I even want to get married, but the ring does not matter.
Greediness aside this is a pretty ring, not stupid or expensive looking and flashy, honestly much nicer in my opinion
.... no because a) ring is hideous (not because of "rock" - the overral design) ; b) i hate rings in general. I'd say yes with a contract of not wearing rings 😂
I would not wish to become engaged with that ring purely because I do Not like it. When I get engaged it would be nice to have something that is my choice.
Hells yeah,if I love the guys I'm accepting even if it's a damn ring pop
I not only got engaged without an engagement ring, but married with a simple gold band. The engagement ring and accompanying matching wedding band came when we could afford it. Was a total surprise to me on our 15th anniversary. Now that's romance!
I once worked for a company that told us, "No Christmas bonuses this year because money is tight. Then the owner's son (who had a cushy office job next to daddy) comes in and shows us the engagement ring he just bought for his fiance. He even said daddy gave him most of the money for it. His poor fiance's left shoulder is going to hang lower by the weight of that stone! We were pretty teed off, but congratulated him anyway.
Propose with a ring pop or gtfo. Extra points if it's watermelon.
When will people accept this whole "diamond" fallacy is the direct result of DeBeers advertisements? If the diamond is more important than the goodness of the prospective life together, then women should just buy their own diamonds and be done with the romantic BS.
I've been married for 47 years without an engagement ring. You know what I do have? A man who has spent this 47 years taking really good care of his.mother, his grandmother, my kids, our kids, grandkids....
This whole "ring" thing has always seemed like bribery to me. It's as if he (or she) is saying, "If you agree to marry me I'll give you this ...."
I'd say no, sorry, not because i view the ring as not enough value to propose to me with, but because it clearly shows the proposer is not financially viable enough to become part of a partner-unit. That might sound callous, but after 20years of boyfriends/husband, i've realized men who put this little effort in for a relationship milestone, are going to expect me to do EVERYTHING in the future, including taking care of the man-child that he is, and i'll also be expected to be the breadwinner, run a household, do all the chores, while he sits there playing Xbox and scratching his balls and doing absolutely nothing for me in the entire relationship. Been there, done that, never again. Some things are red flags. This is one.
My question was, why a he? I like women and I often feel left out by stuff like this. Also, that's a tiny rock
My boyfriend could propose to me with a bag of Skittles and I'd say yes
Aside from the main point that's a super pretty ring and I'd honestly prefer that over some huge pointless stone any day
I didn't get an engagement ring. Been married 18 years and it still doesn't matter
I wouldnt turn it down cause it doesnt have a big diamond, but it looks wayyy too small for that poor person's finger (like too tight i mean)
I don't even need a ring like if I really love someone and they can't afford anything, go ahead idc
True story. My cousin rejected the ring her (then) fiancé proposed with. I never saw it but she told me it "wasn't acceptable." They're married now and I don't speak to that side of the family anymore for a whole host of other reasons. They're terrible people.
Why would you buy a ring with such a small diamond that it isnt even visible? Why not rather buy a nice zirconium instead? I will never understand why americans are so obsessed with diamond wedding rings. Also I wouldnt wear an expensive ring i would be afraid to be robbed, even have my finger chopped off with the ring on it...I know I probably watch too much TV, but still. I wouldnt feel comfortable. I could just loose it
I would rather he just gets no diamond. He doesnt have to waste money on a ring. He could treat himself :)
If he's the one I'd marry him if it's a silverfoil Ring from a chewing gum.
That's about the size of my promise ring my husband of 40 years got me on Mother's day a very long time ago. I still love it and oh yeah, our son helped pick it out. They also came home with a new washing machine. That's true love.
Traditionally the man doesn't hold out a ring when he proposes as either he looks too confident or (worse) that he thinks she's mercenary enough to be convinced by a ring! They should choose it together later.
I definitely prefer the idea of choosing it together - as long as the future ring-wearer isn't going with huge expectations that exceed the ability to pay for it.
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Honestly, my partner could propose to me with a wire shaped into an circle and I’d still say yes if I liked them.
You could go back to an era where parents would arrange the marriages of their daughters to men twice their age because they had money. It would also be the time frame when women weren't allowed to own anything and could not refuse to put out for their husband but, eh, as long as their rich. Am I right? (Golddiggers)
i don't plan on ever getting married but i would accept a thin aluminum band
Only downside to that would be the very bendability of aluminium. It's a soft metal. There are others which are more robust but just as reasonably priced. However, if the ring is one you like then it is entirely up to you.
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I mean id go change the ring cause ew diamonds, but im the one who proposed so *shrug*
I'd ask him if we could take it back and get something cheaper in silver. I don't like gold and all mined diamonds are blood diaonds to me - but there again he'd already know that - and know I didn't want a rock anyway
question for ME is why does the woman get the ring with the gem in it? Not that I want one, but it's weirdly gendered. Apart from the bizarre materialism and coveting a thing that was procured through violence.
Before the 1930s, there was a law called the “Breach of Promise to Marry”. At that time in history, it was very important that a woman was a virgin before she got married. It was also very common for couples to fool around after they were engaged – but before the wedding. This became a big problem if the man decided to leave before tying the knot, leaving the bride-to-be behind as “damaged goods”. The Breach of Promise to Marry allowed women to sue if this happened, giving them some security in the event of a breakup. That is, until they repealed the law. With the law gone, future brides needed something else to keep as collateral in case their man left them. So, wedding rings started to get more and more expensive and include various gemstones - rubies, emeralds and sapphires being among the more popular until De Beers and their famous advertising campaign. So it had its roots in protection for the woman. Now it's just 'tradition' which is rarely a good reason.
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Um, "Dear greedy c***s," ? This is probably incel group and this guy could offer a rock the size of Everest and no woman would take him because he gives off "future school shooter" vibes. I don't say "workplace shooter" because I doubt he has a job and kids are easier to scare than adults.
Nothing to do with what a person is worth!! Why tie that to the cost of the ring being gifted? Rather shallow. People like and value different things. If a more expensive ring can't be afforded maybe there are other priorities for the couple? A home, the things that go in a home. Not everyone wants children either. Don't assume. If two people agree they want to go the route of an expensive ring that's fine, I'm very fond of gemstone jewellery personally, but it has absolutely nothing to do with someone's value and anyone who thinks so has a skewed idea of what matters.
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Pretty sure that women who demand enormous engagement rings aren't identifying as feminists. I'm a feminist and I certainly don't want a diamond.
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Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
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Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
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US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
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I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
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that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
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The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies... Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies... US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies... I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies... that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
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