‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
Most people probably wouldn't even realize if you wore the same clothes two days in a row...we're all focused on living our own lives.
Load More Replies...
I feel that at least half of the gender-related negativity is being kept alive by the gender it affects (e.g. women berating women for choosing to be a stay at home mom, or men berating other men for expressing emotion).
well said i think you are right its usually the gender it affects that keeps it alive some from the opposite gender do it to but mostly from whichever gender the it affects
Load More Replies...
Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard of men complaining about women wearing a dress more than once.
Did anybody actually say that women can't wear the same dress twice? I don't think anybody except for insanely rich celebrities ever followed that "rule".
Well, it's still stupid that it's a rule for celebrities. The media will definitely comment on it if an actress wears the same outfit for a red carpet twice. Having said that, the guy commenting on OP's post is probably right.
Load More Replies...
We men would notice the same outfit, the difference is that we will still find it cute even seeing it for the 50th time without massive judgement
Wearing a dress only once is irresponsible, because it is not economical and not ecological. Snobbish
i'd PREFER u buying fewer clothing , you dont need a different winter coat for every day of f*****g winter , one will do
This really reads like you're addressing someone very specific.
Load More Replies...
One million per cent... Also, we never look at your shoes. We don't care.
Ok but its still male privilege even if its women doing the commenting
True, but it is at least one male privileged men need feel no guilt over.
Load More Replies...
Negative comments? Never heard one and I have only handful of outfits since I was 16 or so. Never ever anyone told me this, so you know, maybe when you think people will say that, in reality it's you thinking bad about others wearing same outfit?
I have a hard time believing this is a thing outside of red mat occasions. In the reality most people live we don't disparage other people for not spending loads of money on clothes for no good reason.
Load More Replies...
Actually the people who care would be mostly media types. Every woman in the public eye from journalists to MPs gets graded on what they wear and how their hair is done and how much weight they've gained. Meanwhile -- Boris Johnson.
My friend wears the same hoodie everyday. And yeah. It's not like we wear the same shoes everyday
Yes, thats the biggest societal issue women today have, not being able to wear the same dress twice. How bout we fix the rape, job inequality, and fetishism first, then we can talk about cute dresses. I swear so many things that actually are an issue and yet people still reaching.
Female privilege is being cool and comfortable at a summer wedding while all the men are sweating in suits. Male privilege is being warm and comfortable at a winter wedding while all the women are freezing in cocktail dresses. Why has no one developed formal wear that is seasonal?!
Women can wear suits to weddings, don't have to wear cocktail dresses. I've got some lovely skirt-suits and trouser suits that are very wedding appropriate (bit more fancy). Or could wear a nice warm formal coat over a cocktail dress for the colder moments at weddings (churches, outside photos for example). Then later when at the reception and things are maybe warmer you take the coat off. 🤷
Load More Replies...
This isn't actually the comeback you think it is. Where do you think internalized misogyny comes from?
You know who started this c**p of "women are the worst with other women"? Yeah, patriarchy :D
I mean, even if people judge you, you don't have to actually care and still absolutely can wear the same outfit repeatedly. You don't actually have to listen to them.
Don't bet on that. In my teens, I had one BF who asked. Didn't you wear that dress last week? When I asked why, he said, - 'Surely, you have other dresses.' When I answered again with 'Why?' He told me, he thought I had more variety than to have to wear the same dress twice. We didn't see each other again. EVER
Tiffany Haddish put this myth to bed a few years ago when she not only wore "the white gown" to numerous events, she made sure everyone knew about it.
She refers to events not everyday clothes. But Yup it's a self made madness.
If I still look and feel cute in a dress, I guarantee I'll be wearing it a lot more the two times.
I've never worn a dress, so I don't know what people are complaining about. I wear the same pair of pants every day for a month.
Out of all the examples of male privilege, THIS was the most poignant she could come up with…you’re not helping the cause, sukhi baby
As a feminist/equalist: What he says! Sadly it's often other women who harrass women and other men who harrass men. :-/
I will wear outfits multiple times but men can have one suit fit weddings/funerals/court/christenings and it's always good but wear your wedding dress to one funeral and you'll never hear the end of it
That's assuming I notice that it's the same dress. I am usually oblivious.
Tell you what. Ask an female astronaut or a pilot in the military or really any job that requires coveralls.... men think women look hot.
Literally no sensible person cares how many times you wear the same outfit. Even actual princesses are known to re-use their dresses. Time to check your priorities and get a life if you think people have time to even think about that.
i can't find the correlation there..... maybe because I wear the same clothes several time in a month, every month.. like I rotate, mix and match and stuff.. and nobody notice.. cos everyone do the same ..?
We wore uniforms to school....so that really helped when we got older. No need to impress with what wear.
I've worn the same nice outfit to more than one event, party, etc as have the vast majority of women. This is what happens when people learn their understanding of socialising online instead of from what happens in the real world.
Literally nobody gives a toss how many times anyone wears a dress. Plus, what a rubbish example to suggest of male privilege!
I guess you'd have to check the individual editors though to know who was commissioning which pieces. And acknowledge that if they do publish these articles, it is because many women want to read them.
Load More Replies...
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...
Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...
US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...
I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...
that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies... Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies... US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies... I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies... that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...