ADVERTISEMENT

Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.

However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.

When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.

#1

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

beerbellybegone Report

A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“

And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.

But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.

#2

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Wiggles114 Report

And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.

ADVERTISEMENT

Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.

#3

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Ishihado Report

Add photo comments
POST
sireland avatar
Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish that green was wrong... this inequality is something that needs to be changed in the world.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#4

Deserved It

Deserved It

BonSim Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”

#5

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

beerbellybegone Report

#6

Say Her Name

Say Her Name

kashannkilson Report

Add photo comments
POST
sireland avatar
Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, a Bears linesman more famous than a medal-winning Olympian.

wh4ok avatar
Jon S.
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Chicago, their home city they probably are. It was in the Chicago Tribune. Still clumsy writing, but they were trying to make it relatable for their regular audience.

Load More Replies...
blasphemousriots avatar
ivoh avatar
Ivo H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disgusting journalistic practice to exchagne respect for successful woman for "article popularity", just because she is married to someone.

fleming_marcus avatar
Christopher Walkies
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a double shame because the video of her husband's wild excitement while watching her Olympic performance was really lovely.

the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the "Stephen King's Wife" malarkey. As they both kindly pointed out, a) She has a NAME, b) She is also an author in her own right, and c) The news item they were reporting on wasn't even something Mr King was at the centre of.

baugh3r avatar
Debster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. We always loose our identity. Getting married and then having kids.

boredpanda_48 avatar
ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Insignificant Newspaper of some town in USA can't write headlines right.

jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m more likely to have heard of this lady rather than her husband.

mike_loux avatar
Mike Loux
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of a diss on both of them, really. Which Bears' lineman, specifically? Just say her name, FFS.

assistanttodj avatar
Karis Ravenhill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sports still has to be one of the worst institutions for sexism against women. If you date/marry a famous sportsman, no matter how educated you are, or how many of your own businesses you run, or even if you run the whole country - you're still labeled one of the WAGS and nothing more.

c3arbar393 avatar
Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

EWWWW STOOOOOP wtf are women not people??? God almighty. FEMALE athlete, FEMALE chef, stfu it’s ATHLETE, CHEF, F*****G HERO OK

walterssaginaw avatar
Valley Girl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was nice of him to let her have a hobby outside of making babies and mittens!

ersooy avatar
Perniculous
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See also stories about when a woman dies or gets killed - "... it was so tragic because she was young and beautiful."

fairydragon avatar
Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First I was like "nitpick" but then found out the nitpick was right

abbysmink avatar
abby smink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sometimes call that one country singer "Mike Fisher's wife," so....

dthkls avatar
Bill Karp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

off sides, infraction of truth, pull story, print correction needed.

vyren avatar
Mindghost
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In switzerland, our 5-times world champion in kickboxing is labelled as "Ex-Bachelor and influencer" in the newspapers... :/

itsjustme223 avatar
Shane S
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A headline straight from the Middle East. How do we not see our own misogyny?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.

ADVERTISEMENT
#7

What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

chiragtutlani Report

Add photo comments
POST
keith-johnson avatar
KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a moronic comment from Goel, clearly doesn't know who he is critisising.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#8

Science Is Hard

Science Is Hard

Genetikk-- Report

Add photo comments
POST
sireland avatar
Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just learned that IV drips contain a body-altering substance called 'vitamins'. All people who died had at some stage consumed vitamins. Never using IV drips again.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.

#10

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The_vert Report

Add photo comments
POST
stefanscheiben avatar
The Scout
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#11

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
merlestechow avatar
LuckyL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I love most as an answer for this kind of questions is - so why do you wear glasses/pants/shoes - that's not how good created you

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.

ADVERTISEMENT
#14

Shoot Like A Girl

Shoot Like A Girl

ifallupthestairsalot Report

Add photo comments
POST
madisonfeehan avatar
Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

Dank_Gun Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#17

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

DSKDG Report

#19

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Dank_Gun Report

#20

Reading Is For Suckers

Reading Is For Suckers

beerbellybegone Report

#21

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

TheNotSoFreshFeeling Report

Add photo comments
POST
lindavanderpal avatar
Linda van der Pal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#22

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

beerbellybegone Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#24

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

tiny_rick_tr Report

#25

Just Work Harder!

Just Work Harder!

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

Don't Forget To Recycle

Don't Forget To Recycle

adamjohnsonnyc Report

#27

Same Same, But Different

Same Same, But Different

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
popapach avatar
troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

Shame On You, Crayola!

Shame On You, Crayola!

Crayola Report

Add photo comments
POST
lyuboiv avatar
Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#30

Parental Disparages

Parental Disparages

Miml-Sama Report

Add photo comments
POST
queeronabike avatar
Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

The Misspell Just Perfects It

The Misspell Just Perfects It

Dartherizer59 Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#34

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
jaekrijnen avatar
Jaekry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tom Hanks and Keanu Reeves. And some others. You get the idea. :)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#36

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

various_reflections Report

#37

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

drjengunter Report

Add photo comments
POST
nesakysiukurtaueiti avatar
MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#38

Quitting 101

Quitting 101

TheNorthernMunky Report

Add photo comments
POST
keith-johnson avatar
KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see the boss explaining this to the shift leader.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#39

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Freezer12557 Report

Add photo comments
POST
boredpanda_48 avatar
ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wouldn't have cops that are jumpy and shooting first on the assumption that random traffic stops are cases where someone would pull a gun on them, IF GUNS WERE NOT GIVEN TO CITIZENS, you know, like normal countries?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#40

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

VespasianTheMortal Report

Add photo comments
POST
wandiledludlu avatar
Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never seen a phrase so perfectly formulated to cause maximum damage and also compliment

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#41

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

brythax Report

Add photo comments
POST
susangreen_2 avatar
Susan Green
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

nhannahjones Report

Add photo comments
POST
sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#43

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

ackocher Report

#44

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

robmalcomson Report

Add photo comments
POST
queeronabike avatar
Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

You Tell Him!

You Tell Him!

beerbellybegone Report

Add photo comments
POST
axlemunshine001 avatar
Axlemunshine 001
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#46

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

chaposagrift Report

#47

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

galaxathon Report

#48

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

bacchys1066 Report

Add photo comments
POST
nathanpogorzala avatar
Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#50

Opposite Gender

Opposite Gender

Ketanjoshi Report

Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.