‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Yep, as a teen, my doctor prescribed bc due to my severe anemia, so it *was* done for my health. Check-friggin'-mate
Load More Replies...
I'm on "birth control" for treatment of heavy menstruation, not for birth control. I kind of need it so idiots like this don't call me a lazy for needing to take a day off when the anemia cripples me. But, yea, they bend in you d*ck is certainly much more important and worthy of tax payers $
I've taken birth control but it's never been for actual birth control. It's part of how I keep my PCOS and endometriosis under control (or, if not control, then at least at bay for three months at a time). I'd say that's using birth control for my health.
Great analogy! I'm glad men have Viagra, insurance pays for it--5 pills a month (fortunately he doesn't always need it.) but you're right, it's less necessary for men than Birth Control is for us. If men got pregnant, Birth Control would be free without a prescription! My menopause hormones aren't covered by my insurance. I guess hot flashes, migraines and anxiety aren't as important as men getting stiffies.
Load More Replies... Most people, men AND women, want to have sex more often than they want to have babies. Imagine having sex only two, three, four times in your life...
(Yes, I know from experience that you don't get pregnant every time you have sex. No birth control since 1997, and still no babies. Now it's too late.)
Load More Replies...
I have an IUD not for birth control but to stop my extremely heavy, painful periods that saw me hospitalized many times for severe anemia. Birth control is not always used for actual birth control. I'm just lucky I live in a place that the government isn't trying to control MY body.
Did it actually help? I'm fighting this for last 20+ years, but nothing seems to really take pain away, just to reduce so I can actually function...
Load More Replies...
I take birth control to keep both my ovarian cysts and my tendency for anemia in check, the birth control part is more of a bonus. What the idiotist actually meant is: men like me don't need birth control to be healthy, so clearly neither can anyone else.
Uhm.. Birth control is currently the only way to keep endometriosis at bay without having to schedule surgery. So yes..it does keep us healthy.
My birth control are pretty great for my genetic lack of appropriate estrogen - the lack of which leaves me deeply depressed and suicidal. My birth control is essential to my continued existence.
Dear Misogynists, please quit pretending you care about the child I had after being date raped at 16. I guarantee you, I didn't hear you knocking at my door offering help and comfort during these past 42 years. Many of you voted in person's and bills that only made things harder for us. Just a note, he's now 20 year retired Navy chief and I'm a proud mom. No thanks to those of you who think you know best for other people's life's and situations.
I bet these are the same guys that also tell their girlfriends that they can't wear condoms.
The same people saying birth control isn't necessarily are saying abortion should be outlawed
Men mansplaining birth control as if they knew the first thing about it. It is necessary for health you arrogant idiots with too much time on your hands.
Birth control isn't just necessary for health, it's necessary to prevent the collapse of society. Can you imagine a society with NO birth control? How would we control the population growth? Oh, yes, abstinence! Because humans are so well-known for our self-control. And honestly: ditto abortion. There are about 600,000 abortions per year in the US. If zero abortions were actually performed, and all those pregnancies were brought to full-term, where would we put them all? Because, again, we're not very good at self-control. Never have been.
It’s great for my health - I am less likely to kill myself from an unwanted pregnancy. Also the foetus. But whatever, f**k it all, let broken people raise miniatures people 👌🏽
birth control stopped me from being incoherent for a week (not exaggerating) every time I got my period. It is necessary for some people, not that it's any of their buisness why someone wants it.
Not that logic would help with this person, but it literally is a health issue. Naturally women have children no closer than 3 years apart. They would nurse until the child was about 4 (that's why they call them milk teeth). If they had another baby too soon, they wouldn't be able to nurse the first child and the second would suffer. A woman's body is therefore evolved to not have children every year. We no longer live in a natural environment that promotes naturally spacing children out. It's not natural or good for a body to have 10 kids. So, we need medicine or some physical barrier in order to live a healthy lifestyle. And then some women of course may die if they get pregnant. (Of course a woman may choose to never get pregnant, but even without that, this is a necessary thing in our modern times.)
As a side comment: Shout-out to Dr. Gunter's avatar. I wonder if she's an OB/GYN herself... or am I just having a Georgia O'Keeffe moment here? LOL (As another side comment, today would have been Ms. O'Keeffe's birthday)
I have catamenial epilepsy (look it up). Birth control helps control my seizures.
Birth control is also good for mental health. Rage levels at old white men goes way down.
So getting pregnant and raising lots of kids is good for your health? Worrying about how you are going to feed and clothe them is good for your mental health? Since when?
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...
Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...
US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...
I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...
that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies... Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies... US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies... I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies... that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...