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Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.

However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.

When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.

#1

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement

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A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“

And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.

But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.

#2

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions

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And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.

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Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.

#3

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish that green was wrong... this inequality is something that needs to be changed in the world.

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#4

Deserved It

Deserved It

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?

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Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”

#5

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

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#6

Say Her Name

Say Her Name

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, a Bears linesman more famous than a medal-winning Olympian.

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Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.

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#7

What Did You Do?

What Did You Do?

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a moronic comment from Goel, clearly doesn't know who he is critisising.

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#8

Science Is Hard

Science Is Hard

Genetikk-- Report

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Meeple13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just learned that IV drips contain a body-altering substance called 'vitamins'. All people who died had at some stage consumed vitamins. Never using IV drips again.

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But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.

#10

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

The Call Is Coming From Inside The House

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The Scout
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.

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#11

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It

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LuckyL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I love most as an answer for this kind of questions is - so why do you wear glasses/pants/shoes - that's not how good created you

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To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.

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#14

Shoot Like A Girl

Shoot Like A Girl

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Madison Feehan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣

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#15

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks

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#17

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country

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River Webb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"

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#18

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)

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#19

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock

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#20

Reading Is For Suckers

Reading Is For Suckers

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#21

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us

TheNotSoFreshFeeling Report

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Linda van der Pal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...

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Raccoon Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a middle school student, it appears it’s so the teacher doesn’t have to move all their stuff all over and so the students don’t all have to take the same classes.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm more focused on the top comment regarding teachers changing class instead of the students. That makes so much more sense unless it's for for something like woodwork, art, drama etc. Should be more common place, more time saving and would reduce wagging drastically.

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UKDeek
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now, now... we can't be having common sense in the education system. That might rub off on the students, then where would the world be?

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Inclusion 2020
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an English teacher, I would be lost without my classroom walls. My walls are covered with anchor charts that myself and my kids refer to. My classroom is laid out to accommodate for social emotional learning and to promote student self accountability. Maybe it's just bc I teach kids with EBD, but I need my classroom to teach effectively. My classroom setup is 50% of why I'm currrntly rated as a highly effective teacher.

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Incitatus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, it's not just because you teach EBD, it's for all of us. You're right. We all need our classroom environment, and I'm proud of mine.

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Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Til that in some countries the class changes classrooms instead of the teacher!!! I'm speechless! But why?? We were changing only for lessons where we needed to use equipment like computers or for chemistry where we were going to a specific classroom

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Dasha Slepenkina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was the same when I went to school in Russia - you keep the same cohort of students through your entire school experience, only switching schools from primary to high school. You also have one classroom and the teachers come to you. Oh, and in primary school you get a nap room and enforced nap time - our room even had beds assigned to each child. I really didn't appreciate this enough back then; I wish someone enforced nap time for me now... Plus you get breakfast, lunch, and if you choose to stay at the free afterschool program, dinner. I remember being so confused when I moved to the U.S.

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Dasha Slepenkina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be clear, you only get the nap room in primary school. And I don't know if this is typical of other schools - I lived in a small town just outside of Moscow and all of the schools in my town had the nap room.

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Deep One
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The primary reason Americans do it this way is that the students all have different classes and are mixed as needed. This enables the school to have larger classes and pay fewer teachers.

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Mayrene Chester
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe what he meant was if you changed classroom, you would less chance of being killed in a school shooting, kinda like a Russian roulette. you're less likely to be shot as a moving target?

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Riley Quinn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a brilliant idea! Instead of hundreds of bodies freely roaming between classes, just have the teachers move to different classrooms.

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Brent Hollett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Australia: Primary School 1-7 - Children and Teacher stay in the same room all day. High School 8-12 - Students move from classroom to classroom because each environment has specialized equipment such as science labs, computer labs, geography rooms with map tables, art studios etc. It's nothing to do with the teacher. The room is the important thing. That's what happens when schools have actual funding.

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look, I'm not american or live in a country with violence problems, but murders are way more rare when not every idiot can buy a gun

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De Gueb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it depends on the class, I had technical drawing and there was a class with draft tables. We had electrics lab and chemistry. The only ones we didn't move was maths, electronics theory and Language.

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Sasha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes the American delusion. Living in a literal dumpster fire and yet still somehow convincing themselves that theyre in a utopia and its the rest of the world thats on fire .....

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similarly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Japan, this is how it is. Teachers have desks in the teachers' room, and the teachers have to go from class to class.

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Candia Lee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We change classrooms so the teachers don't have to carry Bunsen burners and wall maps around. The shop teacher really appreciates it.

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Mayrene Chester
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

never realised this. Usually teachers are the ones moving about, not the kids

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L.A. Trefry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I guess there aren't kids in, say, advanced Literature or History classes but who suck at math (and so don't take an advanced math course) -- and vice versa. Our classroom makeup varied.

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Laura Watts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that's a much better idea one person moving is much easier than 20+

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Marie Vallier
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides the (in)efficiency of changing rooms or not, how would changing rooms prevent kids to be murdered? Do they have one bulletproof room and each class takes a turn in it? I don't understand how changing rooms between classes can be relevant for shooters. Anyone has an idea?

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Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to a grade school that had teachers switch classrooms because the overall feeling was that we the students were incapable of behaving "en masse" in the hallway. Then again, this was back in the 90s when school shootings weren't a thing. In fact, having a knife in school was only just becoming an issue.

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rabbit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teacher of all subjects tend to have visual aids in their classroom related to their subject. With teachers going to various classrooms, that is no longer available. Teachers, more than students, need a chance to take a breath between classes while students need the chance to move.

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#22

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?

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#24

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees

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#25

Just Work Harder!

Just Work Harder!

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?

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#26

Don't Forget To Recycle

Don't Forget To Recycle

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#27

Same Same, But Different

Same Same, But Different

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."

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#29

Shame On You, Crayola!

Shame On You, Crayola!

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Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.

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#30

Parental Disparages

Parental Disparages

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.

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#32

The Misspell Just Perfects It

The Misspell Just Perfects It

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#34

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks

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Jaekry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tom Hanks and Keanu Reeves. And some others. You get the idea. :)

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#35

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

Alabama Would Like To Have A Word

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.

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#36

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race

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#37

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing

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#38

Quitting 101

Quitting 101

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to see the boss explaining this to the shift leader.

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#39

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wouldn't have cops that are jumpy and shooting first on the assumption that random traffic stops are cases where someone would pull a gun on them, IF GUNS WERE NOT GIVEN TO CITIZENS, you know, like normal countries?

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#40

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never seen a phrase so perfectly formulated to cause maximum damage and also compliment

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#41

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”

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Susan Green
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?

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#42

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.

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#43

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?

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#44

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.

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#45

You Tell Him!

You Tell Him!

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Axlemunshine 001
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)

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#46

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

Can't Find Anyone To Hire

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#47

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor

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#48

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...

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Nathan Pogorzala
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.

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#50

Opposite Gender

Opposite Gender

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