‘Murdered By Words’: 50 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (New Pics)
Welcome to the internet, a place to find like-minded people no matter what your background is. Sounds fun, right? Sadly, it can become quite toxic. And we're the ones to blame for it. Racism, misogyny, classism; all of society's wounds fester online just as much as they do in real life.
However, being insulting and mean often comes right back to bite you. Amongst the most impressive ways to fight internet trolls is by using the epic art of the comeback. Fierce, well-constructed, and piercingly accurate arguments end up in the subreddit called Murdered By Words. This community with over 2.6M members is the place where verbal assassins cut right through the BS and share some of the best burns.
When you’re done scrolling through this list, you’ll find some more inspiration for savage comebacks by checking out Bored Panda’s previous posts on the subreddit here, here, and here.
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F***ing Dumb Is An Understatement
A while back, Bored Panda talked to the mods of r/MurderedByWords who said that "a murder should (but doesn't always have to) be more than a quick response or retort. The best murders are well-constructed, thought-out responses that leave the opening argument completely without any ability to reply.“
And there's more than one way to crush your opponent verbally. A burn or “a quick rapier thrust or stab to the heart (a short, swift reply) can be just as deadly as a drawn-out murder, and you'll frequently see both types in this sub," the moderator explained. And as you can guess, put-downs shared in this group might be some of the most enjoyable one-liners in human history.
But when you end up in the middle of a heated argument, emotions can take over. Especially if the person you're disagreeing with is sticking to an opinion that's just nonsense. So having in mind the rise in the number of flat earthers and anti-vaxxers, staying civil on the internet these past years can seem like an impossible task.
Satanists Just Don't Acknowledge Religions
And while ruthless put-downs seem entertaining in the online world, other principles apply when you're arguing with someone in real life. To find out more about how to deal with those who mock you, Bored Panda reached out to Neel Burton, M.D., a psychiatrist, philosopher and author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions.
Burton is doubtful that throwing put-downs to the mockers actually make us feel better. "Someone who's insulting you is already in a weak position—or why would they be insulting you—so it would be unkind to shatter them completely. If you respond with compassionate silence, the message will be both stronger and kinder,“ he advised.
Murdered And Exposed And Torn Asunder...
Deserved It
what did she expect in a gender neutral bathroom? men lining up and waiting for her until she finishes using the bathroom?
Clinical psychotherapist Eva Jajonie agrees with this line of thinking, and offers this explanation as to why the desire to offend someone is a sign of vulnerability: "When suppressed concerns and feelings, such as lack of self-esteem; self-defeating thoughts and behaviors; guilt; and anger, for example, are not treated or dealt with, the person uses insults to unleash anger, to escape dealing with the pain or trauma experienced.”
See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya
Hey America! Can you feel the burn of the Australian Sun hitting you?
Say Her Name
Now that we know someone who is taking a cheap shot at you isn't that much of a threat, another thing to consider is status. According to Burton, we should try to keep our integrity: "If you engage the insulter on their own level, you are bringing yourself down and giving their insult far too much legitimacy.“ Staying levelheaded during an argument is not easy, but can be learned with practice. Like, try to notice when the adrenaline starts kicking in stopping it. Or take some deep breaths to remain calm, whatever method works for you.
What Did You Do?
Science Is Hard
Pot, Meet Kettle
But when you hear ignorant slurs, it's often difficult to just stand by. Here's where using humor can be extremely effective. "A good comeback is one that the insulter can also laugh at. It should not be too devastating. Ideally, it should be tangential, maybe even absurd,“ Burton explained. If your reply is funny, well-timed and well delivered, it can diffuse the tension of the situation and undercut the mockery.
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
As a Non-American, I am still struggling hard to understand why everything that even remotely resembles a working social system is condsidered communism... It works in nearly every other country, with such side effects as keeping criminality low, eliminating the need for guns, raising the statistical life expectancy.
It's So Obvious And They Still Miss It
Got Sonned
To make the web a kinder and safer place, do an ethical 'gut test' before sharing, commenting, or posting. Just remember, the Murdered By Words community is always watching and no insults or cruel comments get past their sharp eyes.
How’s That Racism?
Shoot Like A Girl
"Bean-bag shaped mayonnaise-filled men" let that sink in for a minute. 🤣
I Will Leave This Kind Of Debate To You People
no genuinely nice, good person will care. the negative comments will come from jerks
"You Have Your Quiver On Backwards"
There Is Nothing Inherently Great About Any Country
are you serious? its not like people go "huh I think I want to be born in a terrible country, try to escape, but end up locked up instead. yes that sounds like a perfect life"
Cognitive Dissonance (He Left Me On Seen Btw)
Some People Really Need To Stop Thinking About A Damn Rock
Reading Is For Suckers
When You Come For Brazil But Forget You Live In The Us
I wouldn't be surprised if they made the kids move classes just to get some energy out of their system...
What Weighs More, A Pound Of Feathers Or A Pound Of Iron?
Nonni From The Top Rope
Response About A Record Number Of Concert Attendees
Just Work Harder!
Had an entire conversation with a coworker about this. He's very convinced if he lost everything tomorrow, he'd be back to fine within a year. I countered with, so you'd just go out and get another job huh? Where are you going to shower? Where are you going to sleep? What are you going to eat? How would you get to that job? What clothes do you think you'll be wearing to that job?
Don't Forget To Recycle
Same Same, But Different
They don't like it when their logic is being used against them! They're always "yes, but..."
Embarrassing, Indeed
Shame On You, Crayola!
I fully understand how offensive the "n-word" is in the USA (for historical reasons and all), but Americans also need to understand that in other countries/cultures/languages it is not considered an offensive word (or it's just mildly offensive). It's unrealistic to expect everyone in the world to follow your cultural norms.
Parental Disparages
Accurate. In the U.S., studies show that Black and white people use drugs at roughly the same rates, but Black people are 2-11 times more likely to be arrested for it, depending on the state. If you live in a state that has legalized marijuana but hasn't committed to reevaluating the sentences for people in prison for marijuana-related convictions, I hope you call your politicians and speak out.
I Don’t Know If That Counts
The Misspell Just Perfects It
Lovely Trisha (31) enjoys barbeques, monster truck rally, and incest...
Arrivederci Amore Mio
Don't Disrespect Tom Hanks
Alabama Would Like To Have A Word
Is this idiot trying to draw a comparison from forced child marriage to equal marriage rights between two consenting adults? I just can't deal with that level of stupid. Even if that was what was in the picture, the comparison is just so very absurd.
Dude Just Roasted The Entire Human Race
Anti-Birth Control And Probably Anti-Abortion Mbw
my birth control are pretty great for my health though :D good skin, easy periods and less stress is good for both mental and physical wellbeing
Quitting 101
Nyt Reporter Has A Basic Question For Minnesota's Rollout Of "Not-Reaching Pouches," A Bold New Innovation In Hoping Cops Don't Shoot You!
Killed A Guy And One Country In A Single Sentence
Dude Wants “Young Woman To Help Rule His Kingdom”
Why would any young woman want to help you run your imaginary ‘kingdom’?
Let's Get The Ignorant Ones To Write Policies
Myabe if he'd been around when his kids were babies he would know what is involved with having one.
As someone childless: bonding with a newborn is seriously important. There's also the fact that you'll probably have disrupted sleep patterns, need to learn how to be a parent (change the baby, wash the baby, feed the baby). I feel seriously sorry for Matt Walsh's wife and four children.
That's why in the Netherlands parents with a newborn have a qualified maternity nurse for one week, to teach both parents the ins and outs of taking care for a baby. They also do the cooking and cleaning so the parents can focus on being parents.
Yes, we were so thankful for it in those first hectic days!
Load More Replies...‘There isn’t much to do when the baby is a newborn.’ ??? Has this idiot actually been a father, a partner?
I had twins. My husband changed more diapers his first week of paternity leave then he had ever before (we have an older child). We rotated 4 hour shifts the week he had off, and when he went back to work he got a 8pm-midnight baby shift so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. He ended up having a mental breakdown from the strain at 3 months. Babies are no joke.
I feel very sorry for Matt Walsh's present or future wife. Good luck, sister. You deserve hazard pay.
Well, seeing as he has four kids with her it's either Stockholm Syndrome or she fully deserves what she has.
Load More Replies...Because... men can't change diapers, apparently? Also, if there isn't anyone breastfeeding, then both partners can feed the baby a bottle!
My brother was the one to do most with his son, for one because his partner had a c-section and couldn't really lift the kid and certainly not carry him but also because he likes it. He changed most of the diapers (Still does, I think? - kiddo is only 10 mth) and walked him around when he cried and went to the physical therapy with him (ostheopathy because kiddo was a bit crooked) and did all kinds of stuff with kiddo. He's a great dad so far, and he definitely needs the paternity-leave
Not much to do. How about everything. Mom is exhausted from sleep deprivation, especially if baby wants to feed every 2 hours. Some do. Even if it's every 3.5 to 4 hours, breastfeeding takes a long time especially at the beginning. Trouble latching on, keeps falling asleep so you have to keep waking the baby up. And so on. Just regular breastfeeding with no issues takes time. And in between that and changing diapers the question is "Where's the sleep?!" And maybe have a nice shower to feel clean. Yes dad. Everything else. The Buttigiegs had twins. Obviously no breastfeeding involved, but hey, bottle feeding is no fun either when they're both hungry at the same time. Also, the need for dad to bond with the newborn is not appreciated enough. It shouldn't be maternity leave/paternity leave. It should be parental leave. They are the twins PARENTS. Regardless of being two dads.
I could have sworn a baby had an exit hole on its body? Obviously I'm wrong. Oh well!
One word, Matt - BONDING! Maybe if more fathers were allowed paternity leave there'd be more father-child bonding and less familial problems later on.
Buttigieg and his husband have twin newborns, one of which had some serious problems and had to be hospitalized more than once. Just because someone is not breastfeeding (not all women breastfeed btw), doesn't mean the baby doesn't need to be fed at specific times throughout the day and night. So paternal leave is/was important for the Buttigieg family.
Guessing there's a great dad-son-daughter relationship going on here. If I remember right, there's a bit more to parenting then breastfeeding. Silly me, I'm just a mom with sons 42 and 28, what would I know?
That guy is a good example of what happens when you don't raise someome well
Mom can do the breastfeeding and dad can do the diaper changes. Mom sleeps after breastfeeding, and dad sleeps after diaper changes. Mom eats while dad changes diapers, and dad eats while mum breastfeeds. That's pretty much around the clock, at least the first five months or so. Well, there's a minute here an there when the baby wants to play, but whoever happens to be awake can take care of that...
Or, in Buttigieg's case, Dad 1 and Dad 2, and bottle-feeding instead of breastfeeding. They save a bit of time due to no need to put salve on sore nipples, but it takes time to mix the formula (the breasts prepare the milk while you sleep).
Load More Replies...Is That More Of An Oops Or A Whoops?
Dolphins Are Intelligent Animals
Gender is how you feel in your soul. Heck, if in your soul, you feel you are a dolphin and every day you want to commit to being a dolphin, be seen as a dolphin, and be treated as a dolphin, go for it buddy. I expect you'll quickly realize gender isn't a game and it's more complicated than you thought.
You Tell Him!
People like that will never admit to be in the wrong. They are always the victim, even when they exert violence on someone else (Says "See what you made me do!?" while beating up someone)
Can't Find Anyone To Hire
Sorry but just because you have a business doesn't mean the world owes you employees.
Anti-Vax Takedown On Nextdoor
Fact Checking Has Become A Bloodsport...
The company i work for has 240,000 employees and said "you don't get vaccinated by Nov 18th, you're fired" and i think that is wonderful.
And As His Second And Third Too
Opposite Gender
Note: this post originally had 76 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...The one with Crayola made me remember of a Buzzfeed video where Americans, I think, were comparing American and Canadian food or things. When they learned our whole milk is called homo milk they immediately thought it was a reference to homosexuals and being offensive. Homo is short for homogenized. Meanwhile, Canada legalized guy marriage before the US. But that's long old news now.
Why would anyone make offensive milk? 🤣 Wait 'til they hear about homo sapiens
Load More Replies...Curious as to why the word “raping” was redacted. It’s a crime not a vulgar slur. Would you redact the word “murder”?
Because apparently it's a "taboo subject" that shouldn't be talked about... Which is stupid as hell, as that discourages victims from ever speaking up!
Load More Replies...US is bad because of Trump. Who would be Hitler if we let him. And almost did.
Load More Replies...I mean, the USA does royally suck right now and it's about time we step up and realize how badly we need to change.
Load More Replies...that's because America is doing a lot of bad/stupid things right now...
Load More Replies...