Guy Gives Out ‘College Tips’ On TikTok And Here Are 40 Of His Best Bits Of Advice
Interview With Author
A simple word of advice can go a long way, especially when you’re at a crossroad in your life, trying to figure out whether you want pizza or hotdogs… I mean, understand what would be the optimal choice given the very serious life situation.
Incidentally, most crossroads happen at or around the time you’re in college. And it gets even better when you find out there’s a man in this universe who dedicates a lot of his time giving out college tips in the form of TikTok videos.
Image Credits: @helpmeharlan
Meet Harlan Cohen, the man behind the College Tip TikToks, of which there are over 150 at this point. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the best bits of advice Harlan, with whom we got in touch for an interview, has ever given over the course of his TikTok channel. Scroll down, check them out, vote, comment, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two. Or 150.
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When your friends tell you that you are dating someone who is a horrible human being and you deserve to do better, and you don't believe them, you're wrong. Especially if you have three friends who are telling you this, and all of them have no interest in ruining your life. Listen to them.
I'll take a sex life that needs work in a relationship that is otherwise comfortable, over great sex with abuse.
If you drink so much that you throw up and then you're like “oh my gosh, I have room to drink more” and you keep drinking right after throwing up, you have a drinking problem.
Even reading only the first five words, I went, that's my sister! Her and her Rovers crew call that a 'tactical'.
If you are with a terrible kisser and you like this person, instead of avoiding this person or no longer kissing them, next time you're about to kiss, stop them and say "hold on one sec, let me show you how I like to be kissed" and teach them and I know some of you are gonna be like "that's weird", but no, someone did that for me. And it was so loving and it was so kind, and it was so generous and it wasn't weird. It was just called communicating.
I was engaged to a man who was a terrible kisser...it never even occurred to me that I could have fixed that.
If you ask someone to hang out or go on a date, and they say “I'm sorry, but I'm in a relationship”, smile and say “of course you are. I couldn't imagine someone as interesting as you being single for long” and then walk away with confidence. Find someone else, but know that person, they're either gonna get married or be single again, and if they're single, they're gonna remember you.
If you're doing a group project and your group doesn't do their work, before you get pissed off, and you have every right to be pissed, approach each member individually, do this via text message or some kind of messaging app, because you want to document the conversation. Ask them if everything is okay in their life. First, you start off being sympathetic, then you ask them when and if they're going to get their part of the assignment done. If they don't, get it done, you now can share this with your professor to show that you have done all the work to get your group to do their work.
Harlan Cohen is a man of many talents: he’s a NY Times bestselling author, a journalist, a speaker, an educator, founder of BeforeCollege.TV and Best First Year, and a YouTuber and TikToker who hands out advice on things like love, romance, relationships, health, household life hacks and, most notably, college life, among many other things.
“College is a dramatic time of change. Change can be uncomfortable. I help people get comfortable with the uncomfortable,” Harlan explained how he came up with the idea.
“Most students only spend about 15-20 hours in the classroom per week. This leaves lots of time to navigate life. Students need help. And I love helping.”
“I’m the author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into in College and speak all over the country. The College Tip series seemed like a natural next step.”
If you're thinking of cheating on someone, please don't, just break up. I know you're afraid of being single, because that's the only reason you would destroy someone and betray their trust, because you're too worried about being alone. Instead, do the right thing. Break up, be with whoever you want to be with and avoid breaking someone's heart and destroying them, because you're too uncomfortable being alone.
If you're having a hard time getting over your ex, try this. Instead of erasing, deleting your ex from your entire world, your mind and your environment, give your ex a tiny piece of your heart, just a small piece. My wife and I have talked about this. We both have first loves, we're not each other's first love. And that first love is someone who you always have special feelings for, those feelings never go away. It doesn't mean you need to be with that person. It just means you can acknowledge those feelings. So you give that person just a small piece of your heart and you save the rest for the person you're with or the person that you're going to meet in the future.
If you or someone you're partying with vomits blood, you need to go to the emergency room, take them. I had a roommate my junior year and he would vomit a lot when he drank and he'd actually vomit blood. And that was the morning and he was really hungover and we saw him and he's like "hey, man, I just need to sleep for a couple more hours." And he shared that he vomited blood and we're like "dude, you've got to go to the emergency room." He's like "nah, man, I don't want to go." We're like "either we're calling an ambulance or we're taking you to the emergency room." The other roommate took him to the ER. When he got there, his blood pressure was like 60 over 30. He passed out, he had been hemorrhaging the entire day from his esophagus. They rushed him in for emergency surgery. He was fine. His parents came, they were so grateful we got him help. They thanked us, they got me a t-shirt. So, you know we saved his life and everybody won.
Do not ask someone "do you remember my name?" because if they don't remember your name, all you're gonna do is embarrass them and feel bad. If you think they don't remember your name, you can be like "it's Harlan, just in case you forgot."
When I frequent a place on a regular basis, I always ask people their names, and when they tell me I let them know that I have memory issues and may have to ask several more times and to not take it personally, but I will remember it eventually.
Do not eat alone in your room. If you don't know someone, eat outside of your room, put yourself in a dining hall or in a cafeteria or in a place where you can eat and be surrounded by people who you can get to know. Listen, if you're afraid of looking like a loser, you're wrong. You're hungry and you don't know people. That is what happens when you're in a new place, surrounded by new people. So give people the greatest gift in the world and that's a chance to know you by eating outside of your room at a place where people can get to see you and get to meet you and get to know you.
For the most part, the TikToks are pure advice videos for those in college, or those who are about to start or finish it. But they are not all strictly about college, they are more about things that happen during college, so you will certainly see love and household advice, among other topics in the mix.
Harlan also talks about life tips, answers questions from his fans and viewers, and gives general tips and tricks about things that matter. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter, though. Probably.
“So many of these tips are universal. College just happens to be a place and time in life where all this ‘stuff’ is happening for the first time,” explained Harlan. “It’s all about social, emotional, physical, financial, and academic changes. The lessons learned can be applied to life way beyond college. That’s why I started a 'Life Tip' series. This covers it all.”
If you try to get that grade bump and your professor says “If I do this for you, I have to do it for everyone”, respond with “I really appreciate that. But I don't know how many people are in the same situation, who have really made the effort, who have come to class, who have participated, who have gotten the extra help. And I'm hoping how I've demonstrated my commitment to class could be something that you can consider.”
If you don't ask, you will never know. So it was my sophomore year in college. It was Spanish, there was this girl in class. Her name was Carrie. She had red hair. I found her really interesting and funny and beautiful. I wanted to ask her to dance. It was like a fraternity dance. I waited a little too long some other guy in class asked her I ended up never asking her out on a date. Fast forward to the last night senior year in college, we were all graduating, I bumped into Carrie at a bar. And I walked up to her and told her that I had one regret in college. And it said I never asked her on a date. And she said "I wish you did. Because I would have said yes."
She said “I wish you did” and still graduated from college? That’s just wrong.
If your roommate accidentally urinates in your room, after coming back from a night of partying, you want to first get out of the way. The second thing you do is record it. You want to make sure you don't record anything, you know, private, but the next day when your roommate says I didn't do that you can say, “uh huh. Yes, you did.”
If you haven't done the required reading and your teacher calls on you, calmly respond with “that is a really important question, I need to think on that and refer back to the text, can you give me a little more time.”
If you're pledging a fraternity or sorority, do not let them haze you. I was hazed so terribly, when I was pledging a fraternity in Indiana University, and the fraternity was thrown off campus for a while, but it was so bad. They would have us dress up in suits, wake us up in the middle of the night, and I would get slammed against the wall repeatedly. One time, we did contest to see how many times this guy Greg would slam me. And it was over 100 times. And I mean, one person put a hole through the wall. And you're probably wondering, it's embarrassing, like, why didn't I tell anyone, and it's because I was afraid, because I didn't know other people. I would be alone. And I put up with it. Fortunately, our hell week was canceled. I had nothing to do with it. And I stayed in the fraternity and there were a lot of positive parts, but I should have never put up with it and you never need to put up with it. So if you're ever being victimized or hurt, or forced to do anything, let me know, I'll report it to your campus. I won't even tell them who told me but I'm here.
“[Topic-wise,] I like to stay in sync with what students are facing during the year. I have a general plan, but I also like for user comments to drive the topics and tips,” elaborated Harlan. “My book has 107 College Tips, so it’s easy for me to dig deeper with the videos and explore different topics from multiple angles. I recently started to offer a ‘Life Tips’ series that has more general advice. Many issues are timeless.“
But giving advice does come with its own challenges, as explained Harlan:
“A lot of students keep secrets. They are scared to get help. They run from the truth. They feel very alone. Reaching them and reminding them that there is always help is the greatest challenge. There are so many people who want to help. I just want to help. I think they see that.”
If you can't say it or do it while you're sober, you shouldn't be saying it or doing it while you are dropped.
When you get back to campus, walk to the financial aid office and ask them "is there any more money available for me?" They'll look at your financial aid, they'll look at your profile, they might find departmental scholarships, there might be more grants, there might be additional money that wasn't available when you started school.
There is also often a completely separate office on campus called Sponsored Programs, or something similar. This is the place to go for all sorts of scholarships that are not need based. This may include free money for studying abroad!
[In response to katiefeeneyy, who said "When you realize you will be at college in 10 days and have to start doing your own laundry"]
Don’t ever leave your clothes in the dryer unattended, someone left their clothes and another person pooped in the dryer and ran it on high.
When you go to office hours because you're freaking out about finals and your teacher says "why is this the first time? I'm seeing you here?" You can respond with "why, I've been skipping classes, drinking really late and sleeping in and I realized, oh s@#t, I'm gonna fail." No, do not say that just say "I get intimidated talking to teachers and I realized that I really needed help and I'm just so grateful to get the help. Thank you for being here for me." Go with the second one.
When it's a Saturday night and you're thinking "everybody's got someone but me", you're wrong, because there are a lot of people thinking "everybody's got someone but me" and those are the people looking for someone like you.
So far, the top-viewed video on Harlan’s channel is College Tip #47, with nearly 20 million views, which explains that if a professor says “if I do this for you, I have to do it for everyone else,” then the student should look around and come back with “If everyone cared as much as me they'd be here asking you the same question. Clearly. I'm the only one who cares enough to make the effort. So I think it would only be appropriate for you to do this for me.”
In fact, the top 12 videos currently hold above 1 million views on his TikTok channel, collectively going over 46 million views. And he has a total of 156 college tips on there as of this article, besides all of the other content he’s uploaded.
If you're thinking of transferring, make sure you're not running away from something. Instead, you need to be running towards something, you need to know what you want and where you can get it because otherwise whatever you're running from will find you on that next campus.
Well, I lost my chance to run away from a college that was very toxic for me - just because I was scared to make the leap. ANYWHERE would've been better!
If you're visiting a friend's house over Thanksgiving because it's too hard for you to go home to your house, and you accidentally clog their toilets, just be honest about it. Don't just leave and let it go. Because they're going to find out it's you. They always find out it's you.
If you bust anything anywhere always be truthful. You'd want someone to let you know
If a class is full during registration, talk to the instructor physically, and explain why this class is so important to you. Ask, if you can sit in class for the first couple of weeks, so when someone drops, you can get that seat. If you advocate for yourself, beg, plead, there still might be a seat available for you.
If you're overwhelmed and can't get your work done, ask for an extension. This one kids like "I don't want to do that, I don't want special treatment" and I'm like "dude, you're working 40 hours a week, you're in these clubs and activities, you're busting your butt, let your teacher help!
If someone wants to have sex with you, and you say 'no', and they call you, you know, the B word. You're lucky you didn't have sex with that person, because that was never someone who deserved to be with you.
As of this article, Harlan has over 365,000 followers on his TikTok channel, with over 10.5 million likes across a myriad of short videos. And that’s TikTok alone. He also has YouTube, Instagram, and a presence on loads of other virtual platforms in the forms of advice, interviews and whatnot.
So, now that Harlan has over 150 tips out there, among many other things, we’ve asked him about his plans for the future, and he has this to say:
“I have a new book, ‘Win or Learn: The Naked Truth about Turning Every Rejection Into Your Ultimate Success.’ The goal is to help people go after what they want and be equipped to handle whatever happens next. If you are great at handling rejection, you are unstoppable. It’s like wearing a superhero cape. I want to teach people to go after what they want and live a life that creates light and joy."
If a nosy classmate asks what you got on an exam, you can say "just enough" or you can say "not enough," and if they want to know your actual score, you can say "enough". Actually, I went to the last part, that's kind of rude.
If your professor says "I don't accept late work", turn it in anyway and include a short explanation, sharing that you have a family emergency or you're dealing with a health issue or you also work full time and had a challenge at work, whatever is going on, let them know. They don't need to accept your work, but they can understand why it's late. And who knows, maybe they'll find just a little bit of compassion to make an exception for you.
If you are in a room and someone is getting it on, when you wake up, you can quietly leave the room, you can pretend to sleep and hope that it goes away. Or you can just listen for, you know a minute or two and just shout "wow that was fast". But then talk about it the next day.
Or you can say hey I'm here right at the beginning and maybe not be a creep about it
If someone sends you a text message inviting you to Netflix & Chill and you're not sure if they want to be friends or more, respond "should I shower?" and if they say yes, you know the answer.
If a teacher ever tells you “if I do this for you, I have to do it for everyone else”, look around and then respond with “if everyone cared as much as me they'd be here asking you the same question. Clearly. I'm the only one who cares enough to make the effort. So I think it would only be appropriate for you to do this for me.”
Keep scrolling to check out the rest of Harlan’s college tips, and if you want more, there’s a whole channel for you to peruse. Or you can check him out on any of his other virtual presences: Website, YouTube, and Twitter.
But before you run off, why not let us know what college advice you’d give students in the comment section below!
Share your feelings with your classroom crush. Now, it's almost the end of the semester. If they say yes, great, if they say no, you don't have to look at them in class ever again. Now is the time.
Watch out for 'the turkey drop'. This is when long-distance couples get back together over Thanksgiving and realize it's just not going to work. It's also known as 'Breaksgiving'. If you're the one dropping, be nice. Don't do it at the dinner table in front of everyone, that's just not cool. And always be respectful because you never know, one day you might be like "wow, we were so much better together than we were apart."
Do not wait for your teachers and professors to reach out to you. See this room? This is like a big lecture hall. Some of you go to classes like this where you walk in the back of the room teacher walks in the front of the room, there isn't a lot of interaction, which means someone needs to take the initiative. And in big classes, it's not going to be the teacher. So the best way to get to know them is to go to office hours is to bring an old quiz that you struggled with. If you've questions ask them questions. If there's an exam coming up, ask them how you should study. And if you're worried about feeling stupid, these people, they know you, they grade your papers, they know that you are intelligent and good enough. So just give them a chance to get to know you because if you do this now, when you really need something, they're going to know who you are and be much more likely to help you.
When your significant other asks you "why are you so jealous?" Explain, "I'm afraid you're going to find someone better because I've never felt good enough. So when I see you having great experiences with other people, it's a reminder that I might lose you and be stuck alone in my own uncomfortable skin. And that's so scary for me."
If your roommate eats all your food without telling you, I know you're gonna be so pissed off. But before you get angry and make accusations, ask your roommate if they could afford to buy their own stuff because there are a lot of people who don't have money to buy their own food. I live with the guy and he later shared with us that it was really hard for him to afford living in an apartment because his parents had cut him off. He didn't have enough money, and he ended up feeling really bad when he took our food where we're like "hey man, we're happy to share."
Talking about the situation is always the best option. Even if you don't want to share or whatever. At least you can put both your heads together to come up with a better solution.
If you are single and don't want to be, ask yourself the question "how do people find me?" Most of you are great at hiding your feelings. You don't put yourself in places where people can find you. You don't like dating apps, you don't like being set up. You don't tell people how you feel, who you find attractive, and then you complain that you're single. The problem is, people can't find you.
Stop trying so hard. go off and be at places you love to be. You'll find someone you have that commonality with.
If you are failing or overwhelmed in a class, take the W, the deadlines coming talk, to your academic advisor, brilliant high achieving unbelievable people withdraw. You had no idea what your course load was going to be. Now you know, take the W, if you need it.
If you have failed a quiz or an exam, you are not stupid. You just don't know how to study in college. A lot of you didn't have to do anything to get good grades. In high school, you're just naturally smart. Then you get to college and it kind of knocks you on your ass, you're like "what's wrong with me?" Then you get embarrassed. You don't want to tell anyone, you don't tell your parents, you start to question yourself, stop it. Because studying in college is a different experience. So instead of beating yourself up, talk to a senior, talk to a junior, talk to your teacher, talk to a teaching assistant, go to the Study Center, go to the academic resource support center. Figure out how you need to study in college because you're so damn smart and capable. You just need to get the help so that you can get the grades that you know you are deserving of.
When you bomb an exam, if you're doing it right, you're going to bomb an exam because you're not always going to get the score you want. Instead of beating yourself up and shaming yourself and torturing yourself, just stop. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Figure out what you did wrong. Figure out what you could do to get it right. Talk to people who can help you and stop wasting your time being so mean to you. It happens, you got it. Alright, move on.
Stop trying to be liked. It's funny because I do these videos. And I do it because I want to help people. And there are all of these like, kind of almost said a@#holes, but I didn't say I don't want to sound angry. But there are all these people who try to tear me down. Because they don't agree with what I'm saying, or they don't like what I'm saying. But the thing is, you don't need to like me. I'm okay with that. I'm just going to share things that I know are helpful. And the rest is up to you. And that same attitude you can use in college. If you're always working to get people to like you, you're going to be miserable, because there's no way it's going to happen. So instead, focus on loving yourself, offering things that you feel strongly about, listening to other people who have different opinions, but don't be so worried about what everybody else is thinking because there's no way you're ever going to be able to control them, their thoughts or what they think of you.
